Chapter Three
SangoA scream jolts me awake from a dead sleep. Kagome is a shaking mess next to me in bed, eyes unfocused and unseeing. I begin to reach for her, but my touch startles her and causes her to jump.
"Sango?" She seems to fully come to, whispering my name for confirmation before she flies into my arms, almost knocking me off the bed.
"Shh. Shh. It's okay." I say and rock her huddled form. She doesn't stop shaking the entire time. She just mutters my name over and over as she cries.
"You guys alright?" I hear Inuyasha ask from the doorway. I try to turn toward him, but my range of motion is limited by the way I'm holding her together.
"Yeah, we're okay. Right, Kagome?" I reassure him, as I continue rubbing soothing circles on her back.
Kagome pulls away from me slightly, and her red tear-stained eyes are so empty and lifeless. She looks up at Inuyasha with a palpable fear.
"Are we safe here? Can he get to us?" Her voice breaks and she squeezes me tighter, and I squeeze back to remind her I'm here.
"I promise you're safer here than anywhere else." He says. "We have a demon barrier over the grounds, and you were added to the DNA matrix yesterday. No one can get in or out without being added. And, if they did, I have bodyguards on rotation. You can never be too safe." He says, and I notice that for a brief second, he reaches for her before thinking better of it. His hand falls to the small of my back instead, providing some much needed support that I lean back into. I feel Kagome nod, head now buried against my chest.
"Thank you." She whispers. The sound of her muffled desperate voice makes my chest hurt.
Inuyasha stays at my side until she drifts off to sleep again, where she ultimately stays for the rest of the day. Every time I see her awake, the purple bags under her eyes are darker. She needs all the rest she can get.
The next few days at Inuyasha's go very similarly, with Kagome struggling to get through a day without a panic attack. She is less terrified the longer she is here though, despite the nightmares not waning down at all. She refuses to tell me what they're about, but as long as she still trusts me to help her through the panic I don't really mind.
What I do mind, however, is that she's barely eating on her own. I make sure to consistently bring her food and watch her eat it, but if I don't then she'll go the whole day without eating a single thing. She says she doesn't have an appetite, but she is too thin and sick for that. Her body just can't afford to miss out on the calories.
Somehow, despite everything we're going through here, time seems to keep passing rapidly around us. With the work week suddenly looming over my head I reach out to her boss, Hojo. He is a sweet guy who has a huge soft spot for Kagome. He insists that he wants her to just take the time off instead of trying to work from home, and approves an extended vacation for her for the next month. I make sure to note the current return to work day in my calendar, and he insists that if she needs more time she can just let him know.
I know she'll appreciate the time off to recover a bit more before she has to interact with more people. I, however, am not so lucky. Unfortunately, the law doesn't take vacations and so, rarely do I without some very advanced notice. Fortunately, working from home for a few days is an option for now, but that likely won't be sustainable as the days tick on.
I open my phone again to respond to an important e-mail before standing to head downstairs while I type, not looking up from the screen. I have five more e-mails for different cases and six more for paperwork that needs to be filed, all of which I didn't have ten minutes ago. I start firing off responses and fielding IMs as I reach the main floor. The kitchen isn't far now.
With Kagome asleep again I have a few minutes to go eat something myself before bringing in a meal for her. I haven't eaten for several hours, and I know I'll forget if I let myself get too caught up between her and work. Maybe I'm taking protecting her and caring for her too seriously, but I have no intention of changing that right now. I have some semblance of balance and I don't want to risk tipping the scales.
Suddenly a body collides with me as I pass by the front door, and I'm knocked very literally off balance, careening toward the floor. Inuyasha, arms full of bags, manages to steady me before I topple to the ground. His arms are wrapped around my waist and I feel something cold digging into my side through a grocery bag.
"Woah! Hello to you too." He laughs once he's sure I've regained my balance.
"Shit, sorry!" I respond, righting the bags on his arms as he disentangles from me. "Where did you get off to?" I ask. A dumb question, but it's what I asked
"I just stopped by the store. I had to get a few things. Here!" He excitedly hands me a heavy bag as we walk to the kitchen. I set it on the counter and open it to find a case of strawberry nutrition shakes.
"For Kagome." He explains. "The other day she said she liked strawberries when you brought her that oatmeal thing." He shrugs, and starts putting away the other groceries he bought. My heart melts a little at his thoughtfulness. This has been weighing heavy on my mind, and now I have a little less to worry about.
"Thank you so much. This was really kind of you." I smile at him, but he brushes the compliment off immediately.
"Don't mention it. How is work?" He asks, reminding me to check my email for the 15th time today. I sigh when I see my inbox is full again.
"Honestly?" I ask, and look up, waiting for his nod. "Horrible. They're just swamped right now. Every time I get caught up there are like 10 new emails waiting for me. I had to take a meeting on the fucking toilet this morning." I huff in annoyance, falling into the bar stool next to me with my head in my hands.
"Yikes. How can I help?" He asks sincerely. He turns to the fridge and grabs a Dr. Pepper before sliding it to me across the counter. I take it gratefully and take several large sips, enjoying the burn of the carbonation. I'm basically living on caffeine right now.
"Um." I think about it for a second. "Gods, I don't know. I'm just overwhelmed." I put my hands on my eyes and rub them until I'm seeing spots.
"Hey," Inuyasha says coming around to my side of the counter. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. I don't resist, as my head falls forward onto his chest. "This is a lot for you too, San. You gotta take care of yourself. When did you take a shower last? Have you had a full meal today? How about water?" He starts grilling me, and I scoff at him.
"Thanks for checking in, dad. I'm fine." I roll my eyes at him. He gets serious for a moment and tilts my head up to meet his eyes.
"That's Daddy to you." He's joking, but he's also definitely flirting. The look in his eyes is calling to something primal inside of me that wants to fall apart in his arms. I feel arousal run through me, and I quickly push myself away from him. I don't miss his smirk of understanding, but he lets me go regardless.
"You're right. I need to shower. Can you just go sit in our room while I use your shower? In case she wakes up? Maybe bring her one of those shakes." I ask him, feeling guilty for even entertaining it, but he's right I need to do something else with my time than just sit here wallowing and worrying.
"I can do that, easy." He agrees, seeming far away for a moment. I force myself to start heading toward the stairs, but before I make it there he stops me.
"Oh and, Sango?" He calls right before I round the corner. I look back at him, waiting for him to continue. "Top right drawer of the cabinet next to the shower. Take what you need." He says nonchalantly and continues working on putting away the groceries.
I just give him a confused look and head upstairs to his bedroom, looking forward to stealing his shower for the day. Every amenity in this house is nice, but Inuyasha's shower is one of the best things in the house, at least in my opinion. He has a huge rainfall shower in his bedroom, and it's one of the best showers I've ever used.
I walk in and get the water started, enjoying sitting in the steam for a minute while I get it to the right temperature. There's a sauna downstairs that will be great to take advantage of once things are a little less crazy and we have more time for the little things. Right now, though, it feels a lot more like fighting to survive.
I slip my hand under the steam, and the temperature is perfect. Almost hot enough to melt my skin off is the exact temperature of water I like. Before I get in I spy the cabinet next to the shower that he told me to look in. I eye it for a moment before deciding that I might as well just see what's inside.
When I open the drawer I see a handful of toys, including a new waterproof vibrating wand still in the package. I let out a laugh of surprise, and immediately close the drawer before stepping onto the shower floor. I pause, staring at the drawer for a minute contemplating my options. Well, maybe it'll kill this sexual tension with Inuyasha. I think, shrugging to myself. I grab the wand and bring it in with me.
Hot water melts away the tension in my shoulder as I slide under the stream and relax into it. I could stand here for hours just enveloped in the heat before I would even consider getting out. Unfortunately for me, I don't really have that kind of time, though I can definitely enjoy a little time to myself.
Finally having a moment to still the noise inside my brain brings me to my knees, and suddenly I'm sitting on the shower floor enveloped in a constant stream of water mixing with my tears. I didn't know how badly I needed to cry, but now I'm so thankful for the tears as they come. I needed to let them out.
My mind floats through memories of the last few days with Kagome. Of getting her phone call, finding her on the living room floor, seeing her X-rays, holding her in the hospital bed, bringing her here, and watching her fall apart. There is so much pain—and oddly, grief.
It's grief for the person I lost a decade ago when Koga sunk his teeth in. Grief for the years we lost and will never get back while we walked on eggshells to get here. Greif for all of the pain and suffering that brought her to this point. I'm awash in it. I'm drowning in it, and I can't breathe.
I have to breathe. I tell myself, shaking out of my thoughts. I'm allowed to cry, and I'm allowed to feel, but I'm not allowed to fall apart. Not today. I pull myself off the shower floor and stand, letting the tears stop and breathing deeply. I'm okay, and I can do this.
Twenty minutes later I've finished, in multiple senses of the word, and I'm feeling much better than I was before. I get my stuff together and head back into my and Kagome's room, towel wrapped around me. Inuyasha is sitting in a chair at her bedside, and it looks like she is still out cold.
"How is she?" I whisper.
"Fine. She woke up for a minute, and we talked. Didn't take long for her to fall back asleep. She did ask about the mark. Gave her the basics." He turns toward me, and when he sees that I'm still in my towel, he immediately hits me with the 'fuck me' eyes. "How was your shower?" He asks with a knowing grin.
"Good," I respond simply. I'm definitely blushing.
"Yeah, I bet." He stands to leave, but before he does, he stands close behind me while I riffle through one of the drawers of the dresser. "You're always welcome to use anything in my room. With or without me." I press back towards him a bit, enjoying the feeling of him behind me. He takes a deep breath, inhaling my scent as he trails his nose along my jaw, and then suddenly he's gone, door shut behind him. I let out a breath. That's what I wanted, right? For him to leave me alone? But now without him in the room, I feel empty.
A stupid thrill runs through me again. Am I ever going to be able to be in the same room with this man without wanting him to rip my clothes off? It's not looking likely. I set down my pile of clothes and stuff the vibrator I stole from his bathroom into one of my drawers. I'm probably going to want it next time I shower, anyway.
I get myself changed, braid my wet hair, and check my email yet again. I have so many emails. I scroll through them and quickly realize that working from home isn't going to be sustainable. I have to go into the office next week so I can get some of this handled. There's no way around it. I switch to messages and send one to Inuyasha, not trusting myself to go be in a room alone with him again right now.
Sango [12:52PM] I need to go into the office next week. Can you keep an eye on Kagome while I'm gone since you'll be here? I just don't want to leave her completely alone.
Inuyasha [12:52PM] Can do! Which days?
Sango [12:52PM] Right now… All week? At least M, T, W for now.
Inuyasha [12:53PM] Sure. I don't mind keeping her company indefinitely. Just LMK.
As I'm about to respond he sends another message in quick succession.
Inuyasha [12:53PM] Did you steal that vibrator?
I laugh at how fast he noticed and send another message.
Sango [12:53PM] Why were you looking for it so fast after I left?
It's a couple of minutes before he decides to respond.
Inuyasha [12:57PM] Touche. Don't worry about it. I have more winking emoji
KagomeKoga is standing over me, consumed with rage. His fists are clenched at his sides, his eyes burning red, his sharp teeth bared.
"I warned you, Kagome. I warned you over and over and over what would happen if you left. This is on you." His foot is on Sango's back, holding her in place. She is fighting to get away from him, but she can't. He's too strong like this.
I start running forward, trying with everything I have inside of me to get to her. To save her. He grabs her by the back of the hair and thrusts her head up toward him. With a sickening squelch, his claws tear through her throat. Her head is in his hand, separated from her body, and he holds it up triumphantly. He looks up at me with lust-filled eyes.
"You better run." He snarls out. I fall to the ground and scream with everything I have inside of me. It does nothing to protect me as he descends on me.
Terror has taken over my body, and I feel the scream that rips its way out of my throat more than I hear it. The blood rushing in my gears is doing too much to dampen the sounds around me. I can feel myself clawing and kicking as I open my eyes, but everything is blurry and unfocused. I'm in an unfamiliar place, and I can't get my bearings. I sit upright and look around the dim room. Sango is sitting next to me, reaching out, and her presence is enough to help me realize that I'm okay.
"Sango," I whisper her name as I fly into her arms, thankful it was just a dream and simultaneously terrified that it may not be if Koga gets to us.
Can he get to us? I wouldn't put anything past him, and I know how volatile and dangerous he is at his core. And right now? Right now he's not getting what he wants, which is only going to make it worse.
"Shh. Shh. It's okay." Sango whispers as she rocks me in her arms. I can't stop the tears from falling.
"You guys alright?" Inuyasha asks from the doorway, and I flinch at the intrusion. I don't want him around me right now, not when I feel so vulnerable. Sango's head turns toward him, and I remind myself yet again that if she can trust him, then so can I.
"Yeah, we're okay. Right, Kagome?" She checks in with me.
I pull away from her slightly and look up at him. I'm sure he can see the fear on my face. I can't make it stop. I need to know that we're safe. I need to know that she is safe.
"Are we safe here? Can he get to us?" My voice cracks, and the tears start back up again, so I hide my face against Sango's chest. I hear him shift around in the room and pull up a seat beside us.
"I promise you're safer here than anywhere else." He says as he leans down to look me in the eyes. "We have a demon barrier over this place, and you were added to the DNA matrix yesterday. No one can get in or out without being added. And, if they did,I have bodyguards on rotation. You can never be too safe." I take that in for a moment. It seems like a lot of protection. For what? I have no idea, and I am certainly not going to ask. I nod my head at him. I've heard of demon barriers before, but I've certainly never seen one.
It doesn't really make me feel any better, but at least it's better than just staying at Sagno's without any additional protection at all. Everything feels hopeless, and I can't get Koga's horrible face out of my mind.
"Thank you," I whisper. I believe him, and he looks so sincere. He softens as he looks at me, and I have this feeling inside of me that says I can trust him. For the moment at least, I feel safer here than I have in years.
The next several days are the same. I have no drive to move. No drive to function. It feels like that part of my brain has shut itself off and isn't connected to me anymore. Sango and Inuyasha bring me food and water, and she even makes me shower when it's been too long. I've been awake for a while, staring at the ceiling, when I hear the door to our room open.
"Sango?" I whisper, voice trembling as I'm suddenly on high alert. Those footsteps aren't Sango.
"It's Inuyasha. I'm going to sit with you for a bit so Sango can shower without worrying. Is that okay?" He asks. I feel myself deflate a little, expecting Sango, but I can deal. I have to remind myself that she has needs, too.
I nod to him, a little weary of being closed in a room with him. But, for some reason, his energy is really calming to me. I don't think I've ever been around anyone who has had this effect on me since I met Sango. Fortunately, he leaves the door cracked so I don't feel locked in. As he approaches the side of the bed, he holds out a pink bottle to me, and I take it with a quirked brow.
"A nutrition shake. It's strawberry!" He says strawberry in a sing-song voice like you would to try to entice a child. I roll my eyes at him but open it and start drinking. It's surprisingly good for a nutrition shake.
"That's not terrible," I say as I lift the bottle to my lips again. His eyes track the motion, and he laughs at my clear surprise as I take several sips. I feel more calm right now than I have in days, like there's a little bit of peace hiding in the dark. I almost smile back at him, but my shoulder burns with an intense singe of pain. My open hand shoots up to it and holds it to try to ease the ache.
This isn't the first time this has happened. It seems like in every moment I've had some semblance of reprieve my shoulder starts to ache again. It's a deep, distracting pain that throws my body back to the moment I got it. I take a deep breath, trying to ground myself to this moment and not the one that's trying to take over my mind.
"Inuyasha?" My voice is small and quiet.
"What's up?" He leans closer to the bed to meet my eyes. He looks concerned as his eyes flicker between my face and my braced shoulder.
"Do you know anything about mating marks?" I ask him. He sighs, but I can't read what he's feeling. I worry I've offended him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep. Don't worry about it." I say quickly, moving to turn away from him.
"No, no, I'm sorry. That wasn't directed at you. I'm just so disgusted that someone did that to you. It's not okay. The mark he gave you is temporary, but it'll hang around for a few months. Six months, really. It's basically a mark of intention that's usually used to mark territory and signal that a permanent mark is coming. Think of it like an engagement ring." He explains. I can tell he's choosing his words carefully.
"Great. I've been classified as territory." I roll my eyes, but mull over his words for a minute. "Will it hurt the whole time?" I ask with tears in my eyes. He sinks to his knees at the side of the bed so his face is closer to mine.
"Fucking bastard." He says and puts his hand over my shoulder. I don't jump away from his touch like I expect to. His hand is warm and comforting on the mark. "If it hurts, it's because he wants it to. I'm so sorry." He says. He looks at me for a few moments, considering me carefully. He looks away as though deciding not to say something. I take the last drink of my shake and feel my eyes get heavy.
"I think I want to sleep again," I say, but I'm really asking for permission. I keep my eyes open, waiting for him to give me the okay.
"Of course. Get some rest. I'm here if you need me. And let me know if that mark bothers you again." He says and moves to sit back in his chair.
I've lived at Inuyasha's place for an entire week, and I haven't even seen anything aside from my room. Today, the curtains are open, and the sun is streaking in. I'm lying in a beam of light, and it's like it's warming me up from the inside out. I stand from the bed and move to look out the window. It's then that Inuyasha and Sango enter the room together.
I could hear them whispering in the hall like usual, but today I actually care. Today, it feels like it's time to move.
"Hey," I call back to them with a look over my shoulder. They are both standing just outside the bedroom, looking concerned. "Think I can get a tour of the house today?" I ask as I pull my hair up to get it off my neck. I'm already feeling overstimulated just standing.
"Absolutely!" Inuyasha answers, sounding surprised and maybe a little too excited. I move to the doorway and take Sango's hand so we can walk together as we roam the halls.
Inuyasha's home is much bigger than I expected. Getting here is a blur, and up to this point, I haven't seen more than our room. The second floor, which we're already in, has all four bedrooms including his. He lets us take a look at the different rooms and even offers to split us up if we need more privacy. I vehemently decline.
I learn that he has a pool, a sauna, and a gym all on the lower level, which feels exorbitant to me. However, it's not the first home I've seen with those amenities. Koga's father's house was even larger than this and had a lot of the same. The thought has a chill running down my spine, and I fight to block it out. Fortunately, Inuyasha's voice brings me back to the present.
"You guys can come use the gym whenever you want. Same with the hot tub, sauna, pool." He starts listing the options. "No lifeguard on duty, though, so I sure hope you can swim." He laughs nervously as he shows us around the corner to the sauna area and points out the heating control pad. It's a vast space, and I honestly find it overwhelming.
We head back up to the main floor, and I see his massive kitchen for the first time. There's an island with bar stools, a coffee bar, and a four-person dining table, all tucked into corners with more than enough space to still move around. Across from the kitchen is a living room, and a sunroom. What one person could do with all of this space, I have absolutely no idea.
We climb the steps to the third floor of the house to see a beautiful library littered with fully stocked bookshelves and a bay window with a little reading nook. The view from up here is an expanse of trees, and I imagine it's especially tranquil when it snows. I have a feeling I'll spend a lot of time in here.
His office is across the hall from the library and has a docking station set up with multiple monitors. The imposing desk makes it look like he does important work, but I haven't heard him mention a job once since I've been here. He tells us several times that we are welcome to use his office for any work stuff we need to get done, but that has barely crossed my mind since being here. I was never that dedicated to my job to begin with, so taking a break from extra stress right now feels like the right move. Sango mentioned I shouldn't worry about work anyway, so I'm trusting her to keep it covered.
The final room on the third floor is an art studio. Seeing this space is like getting a peek into Inuyasha's mind. There are paintings, printouts of digital art, and piles of art supplies strewn around the room. He has every kind of paint and drawing supply you can think of, and there's a set up of computer displays with a drawing tablet and printers. This room really feels like it is the most loved in the entire house, to the point that I can practically feel his energy bouncing off of the walls.
I want to look around more, but after just a moment of glancing inside, he is rushing us out and onto the next site to see. I'm suddenly distracted by the stairway at the end of the hall, since this should be the final floor. He takes the steps two at a time before pushing open a heavy door.
"To the roof." He explains as the sunlight starts flooding into the cramped hall.
The roof is sweeping and open, full of patio furniture surrounding a fire pit on the side closest to us. The side farthest away has a full bar with lots of seating and fairy lights strung up all around. What draws my interest, though, is the greenhouse.
I make my way over to it to look closer and find that it's unfortunately empty inside. It seems very well maintained as I peek my head in through the unlatched door.
"I'm not really a plant person." He explains. "This was here when I got the place. I hope it'll get some use one of these days." he shrugs. A litany of plants I would love to care for floods my brain, and I'm so excited that I don't think before I say,
"Would you be okay if I bought a few things to put up here?" I ask, letting my excitement take over. It was presumptuous of me to ask in the first place. "Sorry, sorry. You don't have to-" he interrupts before I can finish.
"I would love it if you did! What kind of plants were you thinking?" He seems genuinely interested in my response and I'm shocked. Why would he give a shit about what plants I want. He just said he isn't a plant person.
"You really wanna know?" I ask.
"Yeah! You seem excited about it." He explains, and he's right. I can't contain the excitement now. It's been so long since I've had plants.
"A lot of vegetables do better in a greenhouse for the stability, and I've always loved growing tomatoes. But there are also lots of fun plants like plumeria, which is just a tropical flower that needs particular humidity. My favorite flowers are peonies though-" I stutter, not expecting the reminder of peonies to set off the memories, but then I never know what will hit me the hardest.
Sometimes, it's like I can push through it, but times like right now it's a tidal wave of panic that pulled me completely under. In my mind's eye, the vase of peonies clatters to the floor, ground into the tile by a dirty boot. I'm on that couch again, being held down. Hands touching my body in a way I didn't ask for.
I physically flinch at the reminder, and I can feel the panic starting to set in. My breathing is increasing, and I feel like I'm spinning in circles and can't stop the motion. The pain in my shoulder is searing and one of my hands raises to cover it. I feel other hands on my arms, but the only person I can see in front of me is Koga, fueled with rage. I jerk away and into the wall of glass windows behind me. I'm trapped, and I can't breathe.
"Look at me, Kagome." Inuyasha's hands are on my shoulders. I look into his eyes and only find kindness and concern there. "You're safe. Tell me about a different plant." He is almost pleading with me. I take a few broken breaths, and my hands shake at my sides.
"U-um." My brain buffers, trying to catch up to where I actually am instead of where it thinks I am. "I really like bonsai trees," I tell him, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. "Did you know," I pause for another deep breath. "Did you know that any tree can be a bonsai? It's a growing style, not a breed of tree like some people think." I tell him. The distraction clears my mind, but I still feel dizzy as he leads me back toward the bar to sit on one of the chairs there.
Sango is hovering nearby but doesn't intervene when she sees me regain some of my composure. She watches us like a hawk, standing and pacing a little, trying to be close by in case I need her, I'm sure.
"Okay, bonsai tree expert. What's your favorite breed of bonsai, then?" His hand over my shoulder feels warm and the pain that had flared up there starts to decrease. I can breathe.
"Wisteria. It's beautiful. My favorite color." I offer the information. My head is between my knees as I continue trying to catch my breath. I'm still shaking; my head is still pounding. But I'm here. I'm present, and I can breathe.
"Who knows so much about bonsai trees?" He teases with a crooked smile. "That's your thing now, bonsai. Get ready." His teasing feels natural, and I don't feel like he's treating me like I'm made of glass. It's a reminder that I'm not fragile. I'm not broken.
Inuyasha and I continue talking about plants for a while as my body comes down from the adrenaline. Sango joins, and we share stories from college and the antics she and Inuyasha got up to. It's nice to see a real smile on her face for the first time in days. It's especially nice to feel like a normal person for the first time in a while.
In fact, I can't remember the last time I sat and talked with friends like this. I can't remember the last time I got to feel joy. I can't remember the last time I felt carefree. I can't remember the last time I felt loved. But here at this moment, I think that there is a possibility I can feel all of those things again. Even if it takes a while to get there.
When evening comes I'm curled up in the soft bed with the softest blanket wrapped around me, and all I want to do is lay here forever. Ah. This is why I hadn't left this bed in a week. I laugh at myself, feeling more together right now than I have in so long.
Sango only leaves briefly and returns with food, water, and yet another nutrition shake. I mostly pick at what she's brought, but at least it's something, and I know how worried she is about me eating.
"I wanted to tell you I talked to Hojo. He's such a nice guy. I gave him some minor details about what happened and he said he doesn't want you to come into the office for at least a month." She explains and hands me her phone to look through the messages.
The act of her handing her phone to me with abandon sends a jolt of shock through my body. I forgot what trust could feel like, and my stomach is somersaulting at the confusing combinations of emotions. I redirect my mind to read through the messages, not ready for a breakdown right now.
Hojo has always been a wonderful boss. He expressed an interest in me and my career from the moment he met me, and he has supported me in all of my endeavors. He was the first person aside from Sango to notice the bruises and the first person who hadn't known me for decades that I had to lie to about them. I suspect he never believed my stories, but he was always giving me some kind of natural remedy to help with whatever ailment I was "dealing with" at the time.
"Thank you, Sango." I say, leaning my head against her shoulder. I'm not used to being cared for, and a part of me is uncomfortable and unsure of what I'm supposed to say.
"No thanks needed, love. I told you I've got you. Oh, by the way, I ordered a new phone for you with my carrier. It will be here by tomorrow morning. Same one you had before." She says it casually and pulls up the email confirmation for me to see. She even got me the lavender one because she knew how excited I was to have a purple phone. Before I can respond, she starts talking again.
"Last thing. I got the paperwork submitted to Kagura for the formal order of protection. You've had the emergency one since we got to Inuyasha's, but this will solidify it. I had them expedite it, so we will hear back in 48 hours. I have a friend in the judge processing the paperwork, so it will go just fine." She's smiling at me, and all I can feel is the heavy guilt and shame pulling me toward the ground. I don't expect the tears to fall until they're falling. She turns toward me and runs a thumb across my cheek while looking into my eyes.
"Did I do something wrong?" She asks, hand holding my cheek and cradling my face. I shake my head.
"You've done everything right. Thank you, Sango. I don't know what I did to deserve you and this. But I can never repay you." My teary gaze falls to the blanket I'm bunching between my fingers. I can't look her in the eyes.
"Hey." Her fingers hook under my chin, and she tilts my face back to hers. "You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve to be safe." She crosses her heart with her fingers and I let out a curt laugh at the gesture. I nod in acceptance and curl back into the bed to watch the rest of the show we have on in the background, thankful for the reprieve. Maybe one day, I'll figure out how to accept those words.
After several minutes have passed, I slowly start edging my way closer to her in the bed. I don't realize I'm doing it until I feel her arms wrap around me protectively. She pulls me closer to her and places a kiss against my temple. A sense of peace falls over my tumultuous brain, and I sigh in contentment.
"Hey, San?" I ask.
"What's up?" Her voice is a breathy whisper.
"I love you." I say, trying to push every ounce of my affection and appreciation into the words.
"I love you too." She says with conviction. And I know she really means it.