Chapter 38
All that Becomes a Man

Shivering lightly, Anakin quickened his pace. A brisk breeze coming off the lake ruffled the branches of the barren trees that lined the streets of Aldera City. He had never become accustomed to the way even a slight wind could bite on a mild winter day.

"I firmly believe you should reconsider this course of action," Obi-Wan said, drawing his cloak more closely around him. "Chewbacca has already offered to assist us. Telling him who you are is an unnecessary risk—"

"I refuse to capitalize on his ignorance." Anakin grabbed for his hood as a gust of wind snatched at it. "Or did you think it was a sham when I said people deserve to make their own choices?"

"Of course not. But then why are you planning to take Bail's advice not to inform the Alliance of your identity?"

"This is different."

"It really isn't." Obi-Wan was also holding his hood now. "The surrounding circumstances may be different, but you are still withholding information that is likely to affect people's willingness to work with you. Which I have no problem with, but you're being inconsistent."

"All right!" Anakin snapped. "It isn't different. But it feels different. For all that I fought the Rebellion, it was a war. I faced off against them in battle. It was, in a sense, a fair fight. I enslaved the Wookiees. And it is meaningless to call this a form of reparation if I deprive him of the choice to refuse. Especially given the risk he runs of being captured and enslaved again if something goes wrong."

"And if he does refuse? What will you do then?"

"Then I hope Cody and the others will be willing to go alone."

"And if they aren't?"

"Enough!" Anakin drew up with a frustrated gesture. "I haven't been your padawan in twenty years. Poking holes in my plans isn't your job anymore."

"I know that—" Obi-Wan cut himself off. Rolling his head back to look up at the clouds scudding across the pale blue sky, he exhaled sharply before saying less intensely, "No, you are not my padawan, and I apologize if I was patronizing you. I only want to be certain you've considered all the angles before you commit to a risky course."

Anakin pressed his lips together, drawing the fraying threads of his temper together again. "Fine. You're trying to help." He set off briskly again. "I don't have a clear plan for this. I'm just taking the opportunity presented to—I hope—do something good."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Winging it. I see."

"It's worked so far." With relief they stepped into the shelter of the Millennium Falcon's docking bay and lowered their hoods. "And I don't see how you have a warrant for that skeptical tone. As though your plans are significantly better than mine."

"I do at least try to stick to mine."

Anakin looked at him incredulously. "Oh, yes—let's make a thirteen-hour hyperspace jump—in fighters—straight into the middle of a battle over the capital. And then you had the gall to make everyone think it was my idea." He jabbed his forefinger at Obi-Wan even as he followed him up the boarding ramp. "And that wasn't the first time you framed me. That's how I got the reputation for recklessness while you pretended to be a sober and cautious—" Just in time, he remembered where they were and cut off the dangerous conclusion of that sentence.

Obi-Wan's lips twitched, but he only said, "I am a sober and cautious—" he turned to make an ostentatious show of surveying the deserted docking bay "—ahem. I don't know why everyone keeps accusing me of—"

An excited cheer cut him off. They exchanged puzzled glances, then hurried toward the crew lounge where they found all six clones plus Solo and Chewbacca glued to a holovideo projected into the center of the cabin.

"And in the upset of the decade, little Skywalker wins the Boonta Eve Classic," the announcer cried, as exhilarated as the rest of the crowd. The camera zoomed in to show a small blonde boy, covered in dust but radiant with triumph, standing on the seat of his podracer waving his arms. A man and a woman in plain, dun-colored clothes ran up to the pod.

Stunned by the unexpected sight of his mother, Anakin waved a hand to pause the recording. "Where—Where did you dig this up?"

Captain Solo, on the far side of the cabin, looked up to stare at him with an indecipherable expression. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the man of the hour."

Through the flood of love and grief and longing, Anakin heard Obi-Wan draw an uneven breath. He wrenched his eyes from his mother and turned to see his own emotions reflected in the other man's face. With a small shock, he realized Obi-Wan was also being confronted with an unanticipated image of a long-dead parental figure. A little awkwardly, he reached up to squeeze Obi-Wan's shoulder.

Obi-Wan sighed, clasped his hand briefly, and said to Solo, "I see you've gone digging."

Anakin's eyes drifted back to the frozen holo to trace those beloved and long-missed features.

"Just checking up on your story. Mr. Nobody—" he gestured toward Anakin "—claimed he won the Boonta Eve in that speech he made." He paused before saying in a challenging tone, "You can't really be Anakin Skywalker."

With an effort, Anakin wrenched his attention, if not his eyes, to the conversation. "I am." He frowned, heedless of Solo's astonished expression. "This footage was suppressed. Accessing it could bring the local garrison down on our heads."

"No, sir," Chatter said a little defensively. "Dash and I covered our tracks. It won't trip any flags."

That was enough to finally drag Anakin's focus off his mother's face. "The way your last prank wasn't going to trip any flags?" He folded his arms. "Would I be changing the subject if I mention that all clone pensions were pulled this morning, pending an investigation into a conspiracy among you?" Swearing blistered the air for a minute until he held up his hand. "Organa will file a motion with the Senate, which should delay any further action, but I did warn you." He surveyed the clones with an exasperated expression. "I would appreciate it if allof you would stick to the mission parameters until we're finished. Especially you, Chatter. I must say, you were not the one I would have pegged as the prankster of the group."

Solo, uninterested in the digression, returned to the previous topic. "Anakin Skywalker, huh?" His attempt at maintaining his customary cynical air was marred by a glimmer of curiosity. "Were you really a slave?"

"Yes." Anakin answered shortly. He hadn't intended to get into this. It smacked too much of a bid for fellow feeling from Chewbacca.

"How many years?" Solo and Chewbacca exchanged pitying looks.

Anakin shifted uncomfortably. "Until I was nine."

Chewbacca said something soft.

"I regret that I do not speak Shyriiwook…"

"He says that slavery is especially terrible for a child," Obi-Wan translated, "and wonders if you really won your freedom in this race."

Anakin jerked his head once. "Qui-Gon bet with my master for my freedom. I didn't know that, though. I only found out after the race."

"Qui-Gon?" Solo asked.

"The Jedi who found me." Anakin gestured vaguely in the direction of the holo.

Chewbacca spoke with more animation.

"You did?" Solo's tone was sharpened by surprise.

Obi-Wan took pity on Anakin and translated again. "Captain Solo was unaware of Chewbacca's previous associations with Jedi." He smiled at Chewbacca. "It was a more exciting mission than we expected. You and your father were excellent hosts."

Chewbacca bowed slightly and rumbled what sounded like agreement.

Solo stared at his copilot, then at Obi-Wan. "Kenobi? As in…Obi-Wan Kenobi?" His eyes darted back and forth between the two men. "Kenobi and Skywalker?"

Obi-Wan nodded.

"So, you're telling me," Solo pointed an accusatory finger at Chewbacca, "you knew it was Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi who hijacked the Falcon and you didn't tell me?"

"You…know about us?" Anakin was taken aback by the man's fervor. Despite that passing comment about Anakin Skywalker on that first day, Solo didn't seem the type to care about such ancient history. Not to mention he must have been quite young during the Clone Wars.

"Are you kidding? Every kid in the galaxy knew Kenobi and Skywalker."

Anakin, at a loss for a reply, looked to Obi-Wan, who grimaced in sympathy but gestured as though to say, I'll follow your lead. He was a little surprised there were no quips about poster boys and media attention, but he was grateful for Obi-Wan's restraint. This wasn't the time for banter; they had graver matters to discuss.

He hesitated. It was tempting to reconsider his resolution. To float along on the air of cordiality that was developing and the offer Chewbacca had already made. Once he mentioned the financial incentive he was planning to offer, both Solo and Chewbacca would probably be more than willing to participate, without Anakin having to dredge up his sordid past decisions yet again—this time for two total strangers.

He stiffened his metaphorical spine. This unanticipated conversation had not altered the debt he owed the Wookiees. Nor had it modified the terms of his bargain with the Great Mother and the desert. This might be a grey area—Chewbacca had not been a slave on Tatooine and who knew whether his Oath demanded such strict honesty in this case. But it didn't matter. Anakin was not going to resume the same behaviors that had led him down the path to the Dark Side. Justifying morally dubious actions to get his own way had been one of the things that had paved the way for his Turn. It was time to live as he always should have.

It was a pity in a way. He had caught glimpses in Solo of a man he might enjoy getting to know, underneath the bluster and braggadocio. And it appeared the other man might be reevaluating him too. Too bad he was about to permanently smash any good opinion he was forming. "We've gotten sidetracked from my purpose in coming back. I have a proposition to discuss with you."

"You want to charter the Falcon again?" Solo visibly perked up, an avaricious gleam in his eye. "Fair warning, you're still not piloting her, even if you are Anakin Skywalker."

"I wouldn't expect to," Anakin replied somberly. "And, no, I am not here to charter your ship. I have a different proposal for you and Warrior Chewbacca. Will you hear me out?"

They both shrugged. "Sure."

"Perhaps we could all take a seat." Obi-Wan suited action to words and occupied the chair at the technical station.

The clones quietly took their seats on the crates and stools scattered around the perimeter of the cabin.

"I would rather stand," said Anakin. Nervous energy twitched through his body and he wasn't certain he could contain it if he were seated.

"Sit," Obi-Wan said gently with an inscrutable look.

With a sigh, Anakin perched on the stool beside the technical station, while Solo and Chewbacca pushed a pair of crates to face him.

"So, what can we do for you?" Solo said with an expectant expression.

Anakin consciously relaxed his shoulders. "Obi-Wan tells me you assisted Chewbacca's escape from Imperial slavery and lost your commission as a result."

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Would you be willing to consider infiltrating an Imperial station? For a fee, of course."

Solo narrowed his eyes. "How big a fee?"

"Ten thousand." Anakin held up his hand again to forestall the captain's reply. "With the object of rescuing Wookiee slaves."

Solo didn't bother to look at his first mate. "We're in." Chewbacca rawled his agreement. "What are we doing?"

"I will tell you momentarily, if you are still willing, once you know the whole picture. This mission would be risky regardless of my involvement, but now—" Anakin pressed his lips together and brushed his hand across the hilt at his hip. The crystals sang as they always did, giving no sign of either approval or warning, but their hum against his mind settled some of the apprehension twisting through him. "The Emperor is searching for me."

"I expect so." Solo shrugged. "There are still bounties out on Jedi, and both of you were very prominent."

Anakin tensed. "That—That isn't why." He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "There is no easy way to tell you this—" He broke off. Bracing himself, he met the Wookiee's eyes for the first time. "Warrior Chewbacca, before you accept this commission from me, you need to know who I am and what I have done. The truth is that I owe you and all your people a debt I cannot repay. There are no words or actions sufficient to make restitution for the harm I have done." He surged to his feet in a crescendo of restless energy, even though there was nowhere to go. "I was following orders, but I did not resist and I did not question them."

Chewbacca said something to Solo, who leaned forward, frowning. "What did you do?"

"Kashyyyk. I—There were reports of fugitive Jedi. Tarkin proposed using it as an excuse to subdue the system. The Emperor approved. And I—I told myself the Wookiees had…brought it on themselves…" The words were clipped, in spite of Anakin's efforts to maintain a neutral posture.

Chewbacca stared at him with stricken eyes before he rose to his feet, his roar a wordless cry of devastation, knocking Solo off his crate as he whirled to shoulder his way through the clones and into the cargo hold. His howls of grief reverberated through the bulkheads.

Solo got to his feet. "He understood, but I didn't," he said grimly. "What did you tell him?"

Steps jerky, Anakin crossed to the starboard passageway where Artoo waited. The droid gave a mournful whistle. Anakin rested a hand on his dome, the familiarity of the gesture strangely soothing. He could feel Solo's glare burning a hole in his back even without the Force. He turned back, but couldn't make himself look at the man.

"I was Darth Vader."

"You…What?" Solo gaped for several long moments. "Is this true?" he finally asked the room at large.

"It is," Kenobi said.

"You're—You're Darth Vader?"

"I was."

"What does that even mean? You were?" Solo's tone was abrasive enough to scour what little paint remained on his ship's hull.

"The Emperor gave me the name when I first pledged my allegiance to him." Anakin snorted a bitter half smile. "He broke our bargain almost before we made it, and when I found out, I left the Empire and the name behind."

"I see. You made a bargain with him," Solo sneered. "What sort of bargain would turn a Jedi into that? I don't believe in the Force, but you were supposed to be brave knights defending the galaxy. Heroes and things. You know."

Anakin crossed back to the crate where he sank down, too tired all at once to stay on his feet. "An unholy one. He offered me something I was desperate to have—at the price that I become his Apprentice."

"What could you want enough to make an 'unholy bargain' like that? Money? Power?" His lip curled. "A new name?"

"My wife's life."

Solo scoffed.

Anakin stared at his hands, lying clenched on his knees. Chewbacca's strained, incomprehensible question made him jump. He looked up to see him standing in the cargo bay hatch.

"Explain," Solo translated. "Your service for your mate's—ah, wife's life."

Anakin fought to control the tremors that wanted to shake his body. This was even more harrowing than he had expected. He would rather endure amputation again than drag his fears and failures into the light before these strangers. The only thing that kept him speaking was the knowledge that his confession was not even a grain of sand compared to what he owed this Wookiee.

Nevertheless, he could not meet Chewbacca's eyes and fixed his own on a discolored spot on the deck, speaking with tightly phrased sentences, as though giving a military report. "I had dreams she would die in childbirth. It was not the first time I had dreamed—repeatedly—of the death of one I loved." He turned his gaze to his mother's face, still frozen in midair above the projector and said almost too softly to be heard, "And it was not the first time that death occurred as I dreamed it would."

"You destroyed the galaxy because of a dream?"

Anakin stiffened at the contempt in Solo's voice but said evenly, "It was not an ordinary dream. It was a vision, given by the Force."

Before Solo could scoff any further, Obi-wan intervened. "Captain, we understand you are skeptical. Perhaps you could accept for the time being that Anakin believed his dream was prophetic and allow him to answer Chewbacca's question."

Solo crossed his arms. "All right. Fine." He gave a mock-gracious wave of one hand.

"That's it, really," Anakin said, still staring at his mother's face. It almost felt as though he was making his confession to her. He couldn't decide if that made this ordeal more bearable or less. "The Emperor—he was the Chancellor then—promised the Sith had a technique that could save her, but only if I joined him. I was desperate with fear, so—I did."

"That's all?" Solo dropped his arms and burst out incredulously. "That's crazy. Why would you believe that? Why would anybody believe that?"

"He was—I thought he was—my friend. I came to Coruscant when I was nine years old, and he made time for me and—" Anakin stood with an impatient gesture and crossed back to the passageway, the only direction in which there was enough open floor space to move. "It's difficult to explain—certainly I can't explain in any way that excuses the decision I made. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was making myself a slave again. I knew it was a betrayal of my Jedi vows. But the Emperor had been my friend for as long as I had known him. He encouraged me when I was discouraged and always made time to listen to me. I believed he cared for me and wanted to help me. And, as I said, I was desperate to save her."

"And did you?" Solo asked, tone laced with reluctant curiosity.

"No. She died." Anakin turned to face him, eyes burning fiercely. "He killed her. That's what I learned last year. I gave up my freedom for her life, and he killed her and lied to me about it."

"And now you want to—what? Atone?" Solo asked skeptically.

"I understand that there is no action I can take that will undo the evil I have done, Captain Solo. But that does not mean I should do nothing, merely because the task is too large for me ever to accomplish it. I cannot restore Kashyyyk's devastated ecosystem, but there are eighty Wookiees in captivity that I can free. It is an entirely inadequate gesture, but it is the only thing I can do at this moment."

Chewbacca spoke softly.

"Sure. That's noble and all, I guess," Solo said, tone still derisive, "but Chewie wants to know why you're asking for his help."

"I believe you might want to free those of your people you can, Warrior Chewbacca. And, to be honest, without someone the Wookiees will trust, this rescue effort will be much more difficult. You can speak with them in their own language and, I hope, persuade them to cooperate."

"Why should Chewie do it? He shouldn't have to spend any more time around you than it takes to get you off my ship."

"There is no reason—unless he wants to help his people out of slavery. If it helps—I won't be there. Obi-Wan and I have something else to do. Cody and his men will be running this project." Anakin turned to the clones, who had kept very still during his confession. "I apologize for making these plans on the assumption that you will be willing to participate. And I'm sorry to say the timeframe is short—you'll need to be finished before we figure out how to destroy the station."

After a quick scan of the other men, Cody said, "We already told you we're in. Whatever you need, General."

"Anakin, please. The Wookiees probably won't trust you—both because you are clones, and because you will be impersonating stormtroopers again, this time conducting a prisoner transfer." He looked at Chewbacca. "I doubt the Wookiees will believe anything they say, and while the transfer could be completed using force and the shock collars…" Anakin pursed his lips, "I would rather not."

Chewbacca growled his agreement.

"Yeah. Okay." Solo studied Anakin with those hard eyes. "You know—we already said yes before you told us about your identity. If you'd just kept quiet, we wouldn't have known. So why did you tell us? 'Cause we sure don't trust you now."

"I don't expect you to trust me." Anakin paused. "Chewbacca deserves to know who is asking him to take this risk. To choose his path for himself. And to refuse if he cannot stomach working with me, even to this extent."

"Right. Well, give us a minute." Chewbacca and Solo retreated to confer quietly.

"Rex," Anakin crossed to where he was sitting on a crate near Cody, "before you decide whether to go, you should know that Ahsoka is here—with the twins."

Rex swore.

"That's more or less how I felt. She wanted to smooth the way with Organa, since apparently someone has been carrying messages."

"You have no right to an opinion, given the choices you made." Rex crossed his arms and straightened.

Anakin held up both hands. "Ahsoka and I have already had it out. She explained her reasoning, and I assume yours was similar. I'm not trying to start an argument. The point is that Organa is sending us to his base, but he insists that the twins accompany us as—erm—as insurance."

"Insurance?" Rex scowled.

"For my behavior." Anakin gestured placatingly. "I know. I agree. But I understand why Organa insisted. So he's sending Ahsoka and Obi-Wan to, ah, keep me in check and the twins to guarantee my good faith. I wouldn't have agreed, but I don't have another option; Organa made it clear his terms were nonnegotiable. And obviously we can't send them to the Death Star with you."

Rex's eyes widened and he dropped his arms. "No. That's not an option. Then what do you want from me?"

"Well—nothing. I just thought you should know in case it changes your decision."

Rex scratched his beard for a minute. "I guess they'll be about as safe as they can—with the three of you and a whole base between them and the Emperor." He looked over at Cody, who was conferring with Dash and Hex. "A squad needs six men—if I don't go, it will raise questions."

"Is that your decision then?"

Rex nodded.

"All right. Thank you." Anakin met his eyes, trying to convey both his regrets and his sincerity. "I'll keep him safe, Rex. You have my word. I won't do anything to endanger them."

Rex studied him. "I believe you. I still don't trust you, but I trust Ahsoka and General Kenobi. So—"

He was cut off by Solo, who strode up to them with Chewbacca looming over his shoulder. Anakin rose. "All right. We'll do it. Not because we care about you and your guilty conscience, but because Chewie wants to help his people. And I expect to be well paid."

"Of course. As I promised. Ten thousand. In advance."

Solo opened his mouth. If Anakin knew anything about the man, he intended to haggle for more funds, but Chewbacca said something and Solo almost visibly deflated. "All right. We accept."

Anakin handed over a datastick. "This has all the information you will need—the contact to pick up the freighter, coordinates for the station, some instructions. And it should go without saying—no outside communications. If the Imperials find out you are coming—"

"I was in the military. I understand OPSEC." Solo rolled his eyes.

"As long as we understand one another, Captain." The mixture of contempt and grief in Chewbacca's eyes was no easier to endure than it had been during his confession, but Anakin forced himself to maintain eye contact anyway. "You are far more honorable than I, Warrior Chewbacca. May the Force be with you."

His comm rang. "Skyguy, we're all set over here. Are you about done? I have no idea how long this is going to take and you said time is limited, so—"

"We're on our way." He snapped off the comm. "I realize you are eager to see us leave, Captain. I—" he paused. He could probably get this later. But there were no guarantees in this wild venture. It wouldn't hurt to ask. "I have a final request. I have not seen my mother's face in over twenty years and I have never possessed an image of her. I would like…Would you allow Artoo to download a copy of that file?"

Solo's face was a study in conflicting feelings, but he nodded at last. "As long as he doesn't mess with anything else."

"Only the holo, Artoo."

Artoo tootled cheerily as he inserted his data plug into the port. The download took a matter of seconds. With what in an organic would have been a smug air, he disconnected the plug and whirled his dome insouciantly toward Solo, who grunted.

"Obi-Wan—"

"Yes." Obi-Wan bowed to Solo and Chewbacca. "It was a pleasure to see you again, Chewbacca, even under such trying circumstances. I understand this has been a painful conversation, and I appreciate your restraint. I wish you well in freeing your people. Captain, you have shown great forbearance in all that we have put you through."

As the two men reached the passageway, Anakin turned back. "We'll rendezvous with you on Tatooine afterwards, Cody."

"Yes, sir."

"Cody. I'm not your commander." Anakin met the eyes of the other clones. "May the Force be with all of you. You don't need a briefing for this one." And with that, he was gone.

Cody caught Rex's eye. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Are you thinking this is shaping up to be a typical Kenobi-Skywalker fiasco?"

"It has Jedi foxtrot written all over it," Cody answered. "Skywalker's keeping his cards even closer to his chest than usual. I have no idea when and how it's going to blow up in his face. Only that it will."

"So…what do you want to do?" Dash asked.

"It's time to call up the vod'e," Cody said briskly. "We need to warn them about the investigation anyway. Hex, your company supports Burc'ya Veman, I believe."

"'Lek."

"Could we use them to spread the word without tipping off the Empire?"

"Probably. We'll need a secure comm line, though."

"I can do that." Chatter gave an abashed grimace. "Least I can do for causing the trouble in the first place."

"Don't worry about it," Cody said. "We've been living at the pleasure of the Emperor anyway. It's time we charted our own course."

"What should we tell our people?" asked Scratch.

"Explain about the pensions, but don't mention Skywalker, Vader, or the rest of it. Warn everyone to go underground as quickly as they can manage without leaving a trail. If they don't have a place to go, recommend Tatooine. Banai needs security forces, and it's at least temporary asylum. Oh, and anyone who has weapons should bring them along," he added as an afterthought.

"Interstellar travel is expensive for civilians, and most vod'e don't have their own ships," said Dash.

"No problem." Scratch cracked his knuckles. "We'll fund it from GAR/IMP's reserves. We're already set up to funnel money into Burc'ya Veman."

"And in any case, we need to transfer our liquid assets before the Empire moves in," Hex added. "We probably can't liquidate our stock and non-liquid assets this quickly, but we'll have enough."

"Let's get moving, then," Cody said. "Captain Solo, we'll make sure we're ready by the time you're prepped to leave."

Mando'a vocabulary:

vod'e [VOHD-ay] – brother, comrade, mate; also the clones' collective term for themselves
Burc'ya Veman – [BOOR-shah veh-MAHN] lit. True friend; from a saying: A friend in danger is a true friend (A friend in need is a friend indeed)
'lek [lek] – yeah (abbreviated form of elek [yes])