Shifting Sands Chapter 4

The process of packing was surprisingly quick. She lay out her clothes—all practical and similar in their design. A forest green shirt of some kind and dark brown almost black shorts, and similar toeless sandals. She dressed simply, except as she went to get her clothes, she was surprised to see a simple light beige shirt with the Nara Clan's symbol on the back. Hina picked it up, pretty certain she would have remembered wearing this. The fabric wasn't frayed, and it smelt like it was newly dyed. A smile tugged at her mouth. She wondered if it was a little token to prove she was one of them. If anything it was incredibly adorable.

"Do you have everything packed Hina?" Hanami asked.

"I do," she replied, looking at the measly two bags worth of things she had.

Most of it was gifts her father had given her over the years, tonnes of elaborate hair pins, and cute kimonos that didn't fit her anymore, and dolls that she never played with. She didn't particularly use them, but she couldn't bring herself to throw it away either. Her father had bought it for her after all.

Shikaku entered the room, picking up the two bags. Hina looked at the man curiously. "Don't you have Clan meetings and boring things to do?"

"Hina, you forget you're a clan matter too now," he said chuckling.

"Aww shucks," she giggled, rubbing her nose.

"I would come along, but I fear I'd keep you up," Hanami said, tapping her cane stick with a grunt.

Hina hugged the woman, who smiled and hugged her back. She didn't often initiate this kind of contact with Hanami, but if there was ever a time, it was now.

"Thank you, Hanami-sensei, for everything."

"You make it sound like you're not coming back. I except to see you every week to make sure you're not slacking," the woman chided.

"Sure, sure," she huffed, unable to stop the fond smile on her face.

And then Shikaku gestured for her to follow, and Hina was surprised to be met with all the Nara who weren't on active duty, waiting for her by the gates. She'd played shogi with them, tended to the garden, and fed the deer with them. It was a pleasant surprise to see that they had all come to see her off, handing off little care baskets that mostly included Shinobi basics for children, like healing balms for wounds, chalk powder, wrapping bandages, and did she mention a lot of cookies. That was definitely a Shinobi essential.

Hina nervously walked home with Shikaku. She considered all the ways this could go wrong. What if her family hated her? What if they'd ignore her even if she lived with them? What if her mother resented her even more when she invaded their space? Would her father spare her any time? Had Taichi outgrown playing marbles with her?

"You're overthinking things green bean. Just take things one step at a time, and if they hurt you, come straight to me and I'll unleash hell," Shikaku said.

Hina let out a huffing breath through her nose, expelling her worries along with it. She nodded, getting ready for whatever was to come. At the end of the day she probably had a great family in her previous life. Maybe she didn't need another one here. Or maybe her family just needed time to adjust to her and bring her back into the fold. Blood ran thick after all. Family was important... important in a kind of way she couldn't place, because even though the Nara were amazing, she longed to be back home to the Suzuki's. She had to make this work.

When she opened the bakery door, she was met with a shock of colour and loud sounds. Streams of colourful paper burst at her as she was met with the unexpected cheer of her entire family.

"You're really staying forever?" Taichi asked, bounding in for a hug.

Hina hugged back quickly, surprised by the contact her brother had initiated. She nodded in shock as her father sent her a smile and pulled her into his arms.

"You did a wonderful job recovering Hina," he said grinning her way, as he gently added a flower clip to her green hair.

Once again, she wasn't quite sure how to take such a warm welcome. All the horrible things her mind had conjured suddenly seemed… silly. Of course some of it was expected. Her mother seemed uncomfortable looking at her, but she put on a smile reaching down to squeeze her hand.

"It is good to have you back with us," she said, with a kind of sincerity and fear Hina wasn't quite sure she understood.

"Thanks, I guess. Wow, I didn't expect all this," she said, noticing the row of delicious meals and a cake lined by the table.

"It's a pleasant surprise indeed," Shikaku said with a tight smile.

Her parent's dropped their own expressions, guilt flashing through their eyes as they pushed through it to start some idle chatter. They asked her about how she was feeling now, and what she wanted to eat, and how she'd be an amazing baker like them. Hina nodded along, sucking in the attention as greedily as she did the food.

Taichi surprised her by asking to play with her hair after lunch, and she ended up with quite a nice braid. Hina was a little relieved that her parents were actively trying to hold a pleasant conversation with Shikaku, even asking questions about how to accommodate her meditation to keep her chakra therapy progressing.

"What's wrong?" Taichi asked.

"Hmm?"

"You keep staring at kaasan and tousan weirdly," he said.

"They're just acting... unusual," Hina said, perplexed.

"What do you mean, they've always been like this. Come on let's go pick some flowers, it'll make your green hair look like a garden bed."

Hina nodded, allowing herself to be taken to the little garden out the back of their house as Taichi plucked the daffodils and daisies out to push into her braid. Once they were done, Hina walked back in to see Shikaku standing up to leave.

"You're going?" she asked.

"No need to be nervous, I'll come visit when I can, and you're still scheduled for some sessions," he said, kneeling down in front of her.

Hina took his hands, hating how much smaller and chubbier hers were in comparison to his. She should have been acting like a grown adult, but this body felt differently to that of an adult. Shikaku felt safe in an instinctual way that she knew she hadn't felt since she was a kid the first time. Once again, she was confronted by how much this body of hers regulated her emotions and needs.

"Remember what I said green bean," he said, dropping a rock from the Nara garden bed in her hand.

Hina nodded giving the man a reassuring smile. Childish emotional range or not, she had the experiences of an adult. She was not about to cry right now because things were changing. Change was inevitable. She'd faced it quite a lot of times she was sure, even if she couldn't remember the details of it. Plus she was in some way eager to integrate herself with her family properly again.

And as she waved Shikaku off, she closed the bakeries front door and walked back towards her family with as much a smile as she could muster. They welcomed her back upstairs, to a place she hadn't been to in about a year. A lot stayed the same, but some things had changed, like the new carpet in the dining room, and a renovated kitchen area. She looked up to see family pictures on the wall, one when she was three years old, holding onto her mother's dress with one hand and her broccoli chew toy on the other. She was smiling widely there and so was Taichi.

That was the last family picture of her up. It was almost like she stopped existing after that. There were photos with her family with her grandparents, photos with her parents next to their siblings, and even more with Taichi next to his cousins. So many birthdays, events, and funerals had happened without her. Hina felt a prick of hurt just looking at them. They could have invited her to some of these at least. In the last year of her therapy she hadn't been nearly as sick.

"Come on Hina, let's get you settled into your room," her father said, breaking her away from staring at the wall.

"Oh, right..."

He stared at her for a moment and Hina put on a smile again, but her father sighed. She wasn't sure if she'd given herself away emotionally speaking, but it was getting harder to hide the emotions now.

"Hina, I understand this is a huge change for you. It will be for us as well. I don't expect everything to be perfect, and you shouldn't too. If you want something, please speak up."

"I will," she said quickly before wishing to change the subject. "My room?"

"We got a few new things for you when we heard you'd be coming back. I hope you like it."

Hina followed her father back into her old room, as small as it was, things had changed. They had decorated the room in lots of pastel, floral tones, with a frilly pink bed for her. It wasn't exactly her taste, but the sentiment was nice.

"You got so much stuff," she noted a little surprised.

"We wanted you to feel welcome. If you need anything let me know okay. I... I'm glad your back sweetheart," he said, ruffling her hair before smiling one last time at her before leaving.

Hina looked at her new room, slumping onto her bed in exhaustion. The pillow was incredibly fluffy but so was the one back in her room in the Nara compound. The Nara valued their sleep after all. Some part of her wasn't content despite everything they had done for her today. Taichi seemed more open to play with her, and her father felt less like he was rushing to leave, but her mother... she had barely looked at her.

At the end of the day she had a family. She thought about what Kakashi must have been feeling right now, sleeping alone in his empty home. Had he eaten food? Had he even showered? What was his first mission like? Thoughts of him spiralled her into worry, and she slept very little that night.

The Academy was down the corner. She'd be given a formal invitation by the Nara Clan to join, one she was expected to accept. Of course they couldn't force her. At the end of the day Konoha was very particular about conscription. There was a saying that only willing Shinobi were worthy Shinobi. Forcing someone to fight would only make that person a hindrance in battle. So while she wasn't legally required, their culture had a kind of honour code. Her family had given her away for training with the knowledge that she would be putting those resources and time back into Konoha as a future Kunoichi.

Hina did not think she was opposed to killing. It wasn't an appealing idea which meant she could safely say she wasn't a psychopath. But at the end of the day she had no moral objections to killing someone in war or combat. People had to do what they had to do to survive, and to keep their country and people safe. Did she think creating an army of children was the way to go about that? Nope, not one single bit.

If there was anything she hated about this world the most, it would most certainly be how normalised child soldiers were. The median age of Shinobi wasn't spectacular by any regards, but having 12-year-olds working full-time in potentially life or death situations seemed like a dystopic world. Considering there were already rumours of war circulating even the Shinobi population, the statement wasn't too far off.

But Hina knew she would join the Academy without any complaints, outside of a general aversion to the fact that other children would be learning how to kill. And she had prepared for it. She knew all the basic Academy katas, had solid shuriken and kunai aim, and found the Academy 3 Jutsu easy to cast with her impeccable chakra control. It helped that Hanami had almost always been at Hina's side, guiding her training like a hawk. Not many, not even most Clan children, could say they had that much of an adult's attention on them. If Hanami hadn't been recently disabled with very little to do now, then Hina might have only gotten half the training she did.

Waking up 30 minutes later than she normally would, and not being scolded for it was a novelty she was getting used to. Hina enjoyed waking up to the smell of fresh bread again, and seeing Taichi smile as he helped out with the bakery. She too had begun to help baking, when her Cousin Matsu wasn't dropping by to question why her 'fugly' self wasn't out toiling in dirt where she belonged. She had no idea why he disliked her so much, but she wasn't about to judge a child barely 10 for their actions.

"How are you going with the eggs Hina?" Yua asked.

Hina separated the last two yolks from the entire painstakingly long process. She had to do about 50 eggs for the whole days batch, and trying not to get eggshells in the bowl was fine for one or two eggs, but it became an art by 50. She had better hand eye coordination than most kids though and had done her end of the job, handing over her bowl full of egg whites. Her mother scrutinised it for a long minute before nodding to herself, barely acknowledging her past that.

"Um, do you need me for anything else?"

"Yes, why don't you shift the flour," Yua suggested.

A look from her husband made her pause, and her expression took a sour note, as she looked back at Hina. She couldn't help but notice the way Yua's expression shuttered when she met her eyes.

"On second thought. You need to go train. Don't waste your time in the bakery."

"If it's for one day—"

"—Go train, Hina. Don't make me repeat myself."

Hina failed to hide the disappointed look on her face as she turned to see Taichi looking between her and their mother like he was trying to piece a puzzle. It seemed like Taichi, who at the start had easily doted on her was starting to see a strain in the family and was pulling away. Hina felt like an intruder stepping into an established family dynamic… one which her presence was ruining.

Feeling a bit of rebellious resentment Hina stole a few already baked melon pan buns, munching on them as she walked out of the bakery. She felt indignant in their dismissal. She considered running back to the Nara Clan, but that seemed like a terrible idea when she was so emotional. Instead she walked by to the Hatake compound, which was a considerable distance away and sat in front of the gate, ignoring the occasional pedestrian who looked at her oddly. She didn't care, she just wished everything would have been different.

"What are you moping about broccoli?" Kakashi asked.

Hina looked up in surprise to see Kakashi peering above her from the wooden gate. She huffed, both relieved and completely mad at him for ignoring her this entire time. She simply chose to take another bite of her bun instead of answering him. The silence seemed to force the antisocial boy to initiate for once. He jumped down next to her.

"You're giving me the silent treatment?" he asked.

"I'm not. I'm just contemplating whether to punch you or hug you."

He looked at her warily now. "And what will you do?"

"Neither. Want a bun?"

"…Sure."

Hina gave him a second bun and Kakashi seemed to eat it without ever revealing his face, not that she wanted to see it. She recalled that it was a pretty generically good-looking face with a mole from the comics she read a lifetime ago. Unless of course in this universe he really did have buck teeth.

"So why are you here?"

Hina sighed. "I was worried about you."

"You want me to quit being a Shinobi. I'm nothing like my father. I won't fail like him," he said, his voice taking a stubborn edge.

"Of course you won't because no one fails, ever. We're all perfect creatures that never make mistakes," Hina said dryly.

Kakashi got up to leave and Hina held his arms, feeling regretful for her words already. It should have never been on Kakashi to make this decision. He was a child, one that was just 5 years old. A kid that age didn't have the mental faculties to think for themselves. They were emotional and every single little thing felt infinitely more important than it was. Hina knew this because despite the maturity that came with a past lives memories, she was still five herself. Kakashi wasn't to blame here. It was every adult who stood by or allowed him to sign up to be a Shinobi in his circumstances.

She wanted to scream out to him that he'd regret it, in the future when he realised what was happening now was so, so wrong. Saying that would just cause him to shut her out forever, and the thought of him alone in his situation made her stomach drop.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. Kakashi, if there's one person in this world who I have faith will overcome any adversity, it's you. I believe in you."

He hesitated to leave now. "Everyone mocks the Hatake name now. They say we are the reason a war will break out."

"War happens because of the greed and the hatred of the collective. Your father was just a scapegoat," Hina replied.

Kakashi regarded her for a moment, before allowing her in. She wasn't sure how much of that he understood. Sometimes it was hard to discern what part of his education was advanced and what wasn't. There was no doubt he was a genius, but he hadn't been cognizant long enough to learn about a lot of different topics that came with time. Kakashi was a smart kid, a smart kid every single adult including herself had failed in this village.

"We don't have to talk about war. What would you like to do?" Hina asked.

He regarded her request for a moment before nodding. "Would you like to meet my summons?"

Hina smiled. "Of course."

The elusive Academy had finally arrived. Hina took the entrance ceremony with her father after her mother had been moody the entire morning, sending her Shinobi appropriate outfit a look of disdain. After a brief, strained, but civil goodbye between the mother and daughter, Hina waved goodbye to Taichi too from the window where he peered down. They had an air about them like they were sending her to her funeral, which considering she was going to be a Shinobi, might have had some validity. When she arrived at the Academy grounds, she hadn't expected Sarutobi Hiruzen himself to make an appearance there. For a short middle-aged man, he exuded a kind of power that only a Shinobi of his calibre could. Hina couldn't mistake his relaxed appearance as weakness.

"Today we are coming together to herald in the future generation of ninja. We are here on a very special day to carry on The Will of Fire, the heart of Konoha to its future. You all will have an important part to play in protecting this village and its people! We are leaves in a tree that stand united together. I expect great things from all of you."

He spoke in a relaxed manner, but every word commanded respect. The kids all smiled and made sounds of approval and excitement, and the parents nodded with a kind of nationalist pride. Hina watched it all a little warily. Of course she loved Konoha, this place was her new home, a land which she would live in for her coming life. But seeing children barely knee high getting excited about learning to become soldiers didn't sit well with her. But she couldn't deny the unity within Konoha. They called it the Will of Fire.

"Ok tousan, I'm going to go now," she said.

"Be safe Hi-chan, and you better be top of the class ok. The strongest kunoichi ever," he said, smiling at her.

"Of course," she snorted proudly. "Who do you think I am?"

He just laughed off her confidence and waved her goodbye. Hina waved back before milling her way to the other children. They were taken by a teacher to a wide amphitheatre like room, with long wooden benches and a generous amount of sunlight filtering though. She recalled in her first life classrooms had never felt as open and free for movement as it did here. It felt more like a university lecture hall in a lot of ways.

Counting the children she noticed two Uchiha, a Hyuuga, an Aburame and to her surprise not a single kid from Kakashi's year group. They had been the same age, so she had expected to see at least Nohara Rin, Uchiha Obito, and Might Guy. Once again, she tried to recount the timeline of the show, and was left wondering if she had misremembered how it really went, or if this world was different in other ways.

"Settle down brats! My name is Fuyumi Tsyuya, and I'm going to be babysitting your asses for your foreseeable future, so you better get used to me!"

Tsyuya, was a rather angry looking woman. Her face was set in a scowl, and even when she wasn't scowling you could see the permanent creases in her forehead set from that constant expression. Despite how moody she was, she was a straight to the point kind of teacher. Talk and you were punished, distract anyone and you were punished. Really all you had to do was keep your head in the work while she was around. She seemed reasonable enough to Hina, but then again class had only been going on for 10 minutes.

When the class began learning basic kindergarten material, Hina didn't know what she expected. Maybe she thought they'd jump straight into Shinobi material. Of course they would start with their ABC's. Shinobi needed to read missives too, and an illiterate military force sounded like a recipe for disaster. Still, the entire situation felt almost like a waste of her time. She put her hands up catching the teacher's attention.

"Yes?"

"Sensei, I already know how to read and write."

"We encourage students who already know how to do those things to bring personal study material. Anyone else know how to read and write?"

A few hands went up, mostly from Clan kids and some from civilians. Hina expected some backlash for not wanting to do the assigned work, but it seemed her sensei was very level-headed. The Chunin explained that they would be allowed to bring in their own reading material if they so wished. Without having prepared that already she instead took to improving her brush strokes. If nothing it would at least prepare her for Fuinjutsu in the future.

When the lunch bell rang, she went out to have lunch, finding a nice shady spot to laze about in alone. She watched all the children come together to form groups, an odd few sitting alone like her. They seemed carefree, adorable in a way only children were, full of innocence and life. She knew a war would break out soon, the kind that lasted half a decade and killed thousands over the entire continent. She recalled watching an episode of Naruto where Kakashi, barely just a teenager, washing his hands in the sink until it bled raw from the trauma of what he had done to Rin. It had all felt so far away, a nebulous concept, maybe even a figment of her insane mind, but right in this moment it felt very real. Just like how it was undeniable that she spotted Uchiha Obito and Nohara Rin playing ball together in the distance. It struck her they were a little taller than her. Older perhaps?

She knew Kakashi became Genin at five, Chunin at 6, and Jounin at 9. Frankly a ridiculous timeline, but she'd always assumed Rin and Obito had been the same age as him. Her assumptions had been proven wrong this time. Judging from the class they came out of they were third years, which meant they were 3 years older than she and Kakashi were. She wondered if she should skip a few years. If the Hokage let Kakashi graduate without even attending class, then there was no reason to stop her from skipping a few grades.

After she finished her bento, she made her way into the student office. Her sensei sent her a raised eyebrow in lieu of a question.

"Sensei, I want to move up a few grades. I don't think the level of work you have the rest of the class on is challenging to me," Hina said.

"You think you're too smart for the other kids?" she asked.

"Frankly, yes," Hina replied back dryly.

She was beyond even most adult's when it came to her intellect. She wouldn't lie and say she was the smartest person to exist, but she'd done her PhD and received an honour for her research into autoimmune diseases. She had then worked as the head scientist at a world leading pharmaceutical for nearly a decade. She hadn't given it much thought in this life considering she was a child and had intended to focus on not dying. There wasn't much a 5-year-old could do to justify her level of knowledge anyway, so she had kept it hidden away. But she didn't have to pretend to not be smart, she just didn't have to expose just how smart she was. If someone thought she was a prodigy, good. She needed to find a way to support Kakashi, and that meant becoming at least a Chunin level Shinobi by the time they were 9.

Did the idea of joining a war in her current puny state terrify her? Yes, it did. Any sane individual would be scared, but there had always been a part of her that shivered more in anticipation than fear. A part of her that rose up to challenges like a flame stoked to life.

"Well if you're so sure, come back tomorrow, I'll set up an exam for you. If you pass you can move to the next grade."

"Thank you, sensei."

Sitting by as war waged, and then being thrown in as a green genin during the final years where everyone would be desperate for new blood to join increasingly dangerous missions was a death march. Plus Kakashi would be out there. She had no idea if she'd be paired with Minato if she passed, but she had to try, had to be prepared enough so she had the sliver of a chance of making sure that bright little kid didn't wake up one day to nightmares of every single person he loved dying one after the other.

She had to try.