Shifting Sands Chapter 6

2 years had passed by quickly. Every day she studied and trained hard, juggling both her physical and medical training with a work ethic honed from her previous life. Every day, week, month that went by had life become just that bit more dire. First it had been the death of Nara Doujin, a young Chunin she had known. The Nara Clan held a small funeral for him. Then it had been an Inuzuka boy from her class. He was pulled from class as he was told about the death of his father. Then Konoha itself was attacked, in an almost impossible to conceive moment. Groups of Kumo Shinobi managed to sneak into Konoha and assassinate several Hyuuga Clan members, although fortunately all the members that died and had their eyes stolen were Branch members. So Kumo's mission had been for nothing, and they hadn't managed to steal the bloodline yet. And then finally it was the fight for Rice, as merchant supplies lines within Fire Country was sabotaged, making traders reluctant to enter Konoha to exchange goods.

Every year that went by had dozens more Shinobi in the position of Hanami, injured beyond repair, traumatised, mute and war weary. Hina felt for her people, but she couldn't help them, not in her state. For as smart as she was, she was not a proper Shinobi prodigy. She learnt physical techniques at about the same rate as any other average Shinobi child, except her work ethic outmatched most. She didn't think it was like Kakashi's who had a natural eye for battle. But she felt it now, top of her class, with still 2 more years left to graduate, that she could progress her plan. So Hina did the unthinkable for someone her age.

"I'm glad you're applying for the hospital. It is much safer for you," her father said.

Hina understood their worries, but they mistook her intentions. She grimaced as she decided she had to explain herself before they came to the wrong conclusion.

"I don't intend to stay in the hospital," she said.

Yua frowned. "Why not. It's a smart decision. You will still contribute to Konoha, saving lives here."

She shook her head. "There are no lives to save here, just rehabilitation and complex surgeries. The time when most Shinobi need saving is out there in the field during the initial trauma. We're low on combat medics."

"And you think you can do it? Be a hero out there, saving lives in the middle of a fight? Combat medics die the most because they have to focus on their patient in dangerous situations. They're distracted and that's deadly. Why throw away your life for someone you don't even know?" Yua challenged.

There it was again, Hina thought bitterly. Her mother's attention was only on her when it was to criticise her decisions. It didn't matter when she took home any awards handed to her by the Academy, or if she scored the best marks in class, or if she managed to learn a new chakra technique she had worked hours on. Her mother would not acknowledge it. She only seemed to say anything when it was to put her down. Considering the last few weeks they had to stop baking sweets, and rather focus entirely on basic bread for the masses to fund the war effort, Hina thought her mother had become especially frustrated with Shinobi.

Hina didn't understand how someone could disregard the Shinobi who fought for them. Sure the conflict was started by Shinobi, but at the end of the day Hina was sure even if they didn't exist someone would start conflict somewhere. The people in Konoha were dying to protect the civilians. It was always the civilians that took priority in any attack. Whatever issue Yua had with Shinobi wasn't Hina's fault though. She had her own plans.

"I am going to become a medic nin," she stated, a little more forcefully.

"At the end of the day, I am your mother. I cannot bar you from going to the Academy, but when I tell you, you will not apply for this internship, you won't," Yua said, slamming the table.

Hina flinched at the loud noise. For a brief moment her parents faces—the ones from before flashed through her vision. She remembered their warm approval of her choices though she couldn't even remember their names. Looking up at Yua's wild viridian eyes challenging her, Hina felt indignant. She was capable of wants and dreams of her own, one no one should have tried to bar her from, let alone her own mother.

For years she had tried to keep herself as polite and pleasant as she possible could within the family. If she did something Yua didn't like, it would cause a fight between her and Nori, and every time that happened Taichi's kind smile towards her turned sour. She was affecting her brother, so she had to keep her head down and try not to rock the boat. She really did try.

Hina couldn't help the scowl that took her usually passive face. Whatever neutrality she feigned during her mother's previous injustices weren't there. She stood up, equally meeting her mother's gaze despite their height difference.

"I am going to become a medic nin kaasan—"

"—Hina" Taichi whispered, holding her wrist to push her back down.

Hina whipped her hand away from his and turned her fury back onto her mother.

"You can't tell me what to do with my life!"

Hina didn't see the slap coming until it was too late, because Yua, for all her cold disregard had never been violent before. She held her stinging face, watching as her father got up for the first time since the argument began to drag Yua away from her. Hina held her cheeks and wondered what she had done to make it all go so wrong. Her anger was drawn away, replaced with resignation.

"I will become a medic nin," she said, cutting off her parents argument. "I'm sorry that I... that I can't be the daughter you wanted kaasan. I'm... sorry. Excuse me."

"Wait Hina," Yua said, voice shaking.

Hina had already turned to walk away, removing herself from the entire situation. It was unwise to continue fighting when emotions were high. She needed to think, and the best way to do that was alone. In her jumbled mess of thoughts she missed her usual turn and ended up by a river. Konoha was massive and Hina hadn't been to this part before. She threw a pebble across the water's surface watching it skip three times before disappearing. Then she felt her eyes finally grow wet as she allowed herself to cry.

"Fuck kaasan" she hissed, throwing another pebble and then another.

"Fuck her for never looking at me!" Hina swore, grabbing a nearby boulder next.

Her arms strained under the weight, but she managed to hoist it over her head with the aid of her chakra before she let out and angry scream and threw the massive boulder into the middle of the lake. It splashed heavily, sending ripples across the entire surface followed by the cathartic release of all her pent-up rage. The relief from the pressure only lasted a moment before it stopped feeling good again and she was left with the bitter reality that her own mother hated her.

She slumped to the ground exhausted and hurt. She hated this. It wasn't like she was an irresponsible child who didn't do her chores, made trouble for her parents, and got caught in a bad crowd. Hina was anything but a failure. She worked hard, studied hard, skipped grades, did her own washing, helped with the bakery when she could, and was always polite. Even when Yua looked at her like she wasn't her child, even when Taichi blamed her for making their parents fight, even when Nori was too exhausted from the drama to spare her a moments attention—she was polite and understanding.

This shouldn't hurt her. She was an adult, she told herself. She could suffer a little bit of attitude from her family. So why did it hurt the most? She had loved them from the very first day she came here. Even more than love, they were her family, her duty, her bond. The Nara had treated her better, but at the end of the day the Suzuki's were hers. She hated that they weren't allowing her in, rejecting her every attempt at connection. She wiped her tears and sighed.

"Broccoli-chan?"

Hina cursed her inattention. She knew that voice from anywhere. It was Uchiha Obito. She wiped her tears away quickly, wondering how quickly she could salvage the situation. When he sat next to her she realised it was a little too late for that. He'd know she was crying which meant he'd seen her weak and pathetic.

"I didn't think the Oh so perfect prodigy could do something as normal as cry," he said.

"If you're here to gloat about it—"

"I'm not. Sorry, not the best at these things. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Would I be crying if I was?" Hina shot back unamused.

Obito chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head in a familiar way. Hina felt all her misery and anger etch away at his presence. And to think the first time they had met she had compared him to baby Hitler.

Hina sighed deeply. "It's fine. It would just be nice to be acknowledged."

Obito eyed her at that. "I understand, everyone thinks I'm not going anywhere. But one day I'll be Hokage, and they'll see who they dismissed! Don't ever give up because some idiot told you, you can't do something!"

Hina chuckled because Obito couldn't be so off the mark and so on it at the same time. She wasn't looking for that kind of acknowledgement, but she did have a goal. She had a goal to protect her family and friends. She had a goal to be so strong no one could dare lay a finger on them. She didn't know why she needed to be powerful… just that control mattered. If she let it slip everything would fall apart—her family would fall apart, and her friends would die.

"Thanks Obento," she said, teasing him.

"Don't ever expect me to say anything nice to you again Broccoli," he said poking his tongue out at her.

It was good to know the 10-year-old was still childish. Despite their name calling, Obito helped her up, and Hina definitely caught him staring at her face. She remembered she'd been slapped. She supposed her face was an angry red at the moment, but Shinobi kids were used to taking a punch. The slap didn't hurt as much physically as it did emotionally.

"You're right though. I'm going to apply for a Medic Apprenticeship, and no one will stop me."

Obito's jaw dropped. "A medic-nin! You?"

"What, you don't think I can do it?" Hina asked.

"No, I mean why would you want to do it? You're the top student in everything. You can do way better than a medic-nin, you could be a front like fighter," Obito said.

Hina shrugged. "I can do both. What's your hang up about medic nins? You don't believe in the silly notion that medic nins aren't strong, do you?"

"No, I'm sure they're great Shinobi, but you gotta admit they aren't the strongest."

"Well there's Tsunade-sama," Hina noted.

Obito huffed challengingly. "She's about the only one."

"Not really, you forget Orochimaru-sama is also an adept medic-nin. Also Chiyo of the red sands who has the highest kill count in Suna is a medic-nin. Plus it isn't going to be my main career focus. Konoha is low on front line medic-nin, and it's a skill that's handy for anyone to have in our field."

"What do you really want to be then?" Obito asked.

"Anything and everything I can be."

"Huh?"

"I will explore every avenue I can. I don't know what I'll specialise in, but I won't stick to one thing. I want to learn as much as I can," Hina explained.

"You're such a paper ninja," he snorted.

"A paper ninja who beat your ass," she reminded him.

Obito made a sound of irritation at that. "Ugh, alright go become a medic or whatever. I think Rin wants to do it too. Why don't you two intern together?"

"Sounds like an idea," she agreed. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Oh the Uchiha Clan is just past this river. I come here to train," Obito said.

"Huh, cool. Want to spar?"

"Heck yeah!"

So after sparring with Obito and beating him for the hundredth time, Hina thanked the sore boy and decided not to wait around. In this case it was indeed better to ask for forgiveness than permission. And when it came to Shinobi studies, parents weren't needed to be present to sign documents. Kids were expected to differ to their parents' wishes of course, but it wasn't a requirement. Hina had always hated that little titbit, but it came in handy this once, so she forgave it.

She entered the Shinobi specific Hospital and pulled herself up to counter height. The receptionist lowered her glasses and regarded her in confusion for a moment.

"Are you lost sweetie?"

"No, I'm here to apply for an internship position. I'm an Academy student," she offered.

"Honey, you need to be at least 12."

"I wasn't aware there was an age requirement."

"That's simple when most apply."

"If there isn't any requirements, I would like to apply," Hina said firmly, trying to come off like she wasn't asking, which was hard to do when she was dangling over the side to even see above the desk.

"Honey, I can't let you waste our doctor's time here. There's a war going on and we have precious resources to give—"

"—I'll vouch for her. Get down from there Hina, you look more ridiculous than imposing," Hanami said from behind her.

Hina rubbed her neck sheepishly, grinning up at the woman. The receptionist flushed.

"Oh Nara-san, sorry but you know the girl?"

"She is my ward. I've been supplying her with books to study, but she shouldn't be done with those for another few years," Hanami said, eyeing her.

Hina shrugged innocently. Maybe if she had been studying from scratch it would have taken that long, but besides translating terminology she knew in her previous life, and learning everything she could about the chakra aspect of healing, every other basic medical knowledge was something she already knew. Granted she was a scientist first and foremost than a doctor, but being in the pharmaceutical industry there was quite a bit of overlap.

"I already learnt everything you gave me," Hina said.

Hanami huffed with a look simultaneously proud and exasperated. "If you were any other kid, I'd have kicked you out for being cocky, but you're not prideful. If you say you know something, you know something."

Hina sighed in relief. It was good to be acknowledged. Hanami limped over to the desk and bought out some files.

"Fill this out. You'll take your exams this Saturday, 9am sharp. Don't be late."

"Hai sensei!" Hina said, saluting the woman.

"Ugh now get out of here brat," Hanami joked.

Suffice to say Hina passed the test. She was given a folder to sign as she did some intern work in the hospital. She received a name tag and a coat. Hina had to tailor her doctor's coat but frankly she had no idea how to do it. It was child sized since they had a few kids who applied every few years, but she was the youngest to have joined and so there hadn't been any available in her size. She came home holding the white outfit expecting a fight, but her mother didn't argue with her. Her father put on the best smile he could, coming over to give her a hug.

"My daughter, youngest to ever become a medic-nin. You're going to be famous one day, aren't you?"

"Oh everyone will know my name," Hina said, amping up her haughtiness for jokes.

Her smile instantly died when her mother came closer and gently grabbed the coat from her. Yua sported a very guilty expression.

"I shouldn't have hit you Hina. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Hina said dismissively.

"It's not, I made a mistake by hitting you. Don't get me wrong, I don't like what you're planning still. As a mother it should be my right to stop you."

"But it isn't. When it comes to Shinobi matters it is treason. Don't rip that coat," Hina blurted out without really thinking.

Yua flinched. "Is that really what you think I'd... no that's fair. Follow me, I'll show you how to sew clothes."

Hina was too shocked for words, but she wasn't about to reject a rare attempt at reaching out. So she nodded, glanced at her father for his permission and then left. Yua began a succinct and to the point explanation of what exactly she needed to measure, before taking Hina's size and drawing it on her coat.

Yua began sewing the coat as they sat outside on the balcony. Hina watched her work closely to make sure she remembered how to do this. She'd never needed to do this before, her amma did… her amma. She hated only knowing vague details about her first mother. She squinted at Yua who she instinctively knew looked nothing like her first mother. She was beginning to become tired of this farce. She remembered Yua being far more loving, a tad bit overprotective, but ultimately loving. Then she became sick and suddenly it was either like she didn't exist or wasn't needed.

It had something to do with her aunty. The elusive Hina she was named after. No one in their family spoke of her. There were no pictures of her. Even her Aunty Suki did not mention Hina's name. She was a ghost no one talked about. A ghost that seemed to be haunting her mother. Hina never spoke the name, fearing the reaction she would receive after. There was no use talking about a dead family member she hadn't met anyway. She wanted to know what to do going forward.

"What did I do wrong? What do I need to fix?" Hina asked.

Yua stopped sewing and looked at Hina for the first time since she started. Hina hadn't expected the shuttered expression on her face.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she said, choking up.

Hina was frustrated by the answer, because that meant there was nothing she could do, nothing she could change to fix whatever this was.

"Then why? If you don't tell me, how am I meant to fix this?" Hina asked.

"I'm sorry," Yua said.

"Don't be sorry, just tell me what you want me to do."

All the fight left her when her mother began to cry. Hina shifted on her seat awkwardly before standing up to go comfort her, but she stopped herself unsure of how Yua would take it.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push," Hina apologised.

"I shouldn't be crying, not in front of you," Yua said, wiping away her tears before she looked Hina in her eyes. "You never did anything wrong Hina. You're just a child. How could you know what you're stubbornly getting yourself into? I couldn't stop you, and that will be on me forever."

"Wha–"

Hina didn't know how to respond to that. She played with her hair and took in a deep breath. "I was always going to be a Shinobi."

"But why? If you beg I'm sure the Nara will let you go. Please Hina, this isn't worth it."

How could she explain this to her mother, she thought helplessly. How could she explain that she knew every major event for the next 30 years? The kind of events that led up to the entire decimation of Konoha, and the potential eternal sleep of everyone in the world? Even worse than that, she knew about what this war would do to her friends, to little innocent children she practically grew up with. Casting all that aside she saw what the war was doing to their family this very moment. They were becoming poor, barely able to support themselves. They needed another income soon. Civilian children didn't go to schools if they had a business or a trade. Her little older brother was only literate enough to understand basics and knew how to add and multiply, but beyond that he had no education. How could he when a child had to go to the Academy to do so, and even if they dropped out, they'd be called in as a reservist. Yua would never allow it.

Hina had a million reasons to be a Shinobi, and none of them were for killing. She needed to be strong because if everyone else failed, if her mere existence changed how things turned out, she needed to be strong enough, influential enough, and in a position strategic enough to keep everyone she knew safe.

"I have to be a Shinobi, kaasan," she said softly.

"Why?" Yua challenged.

"I have to. I don't know how to explain it to you just yet. I just have to," Hina sighed.

Yua wiped away her tears. "If you want to fix this, all you have to do is quit."

"I can't."

She knew she had said as much as she could. Her mother turned away and muttered an old prayer for the dead. Hina pretended she didn't hear it because she wasn't sure it was for her or for her Aunty Hina, who no one spoke about. And she couldn't bear to think her mother thought her dead in her heart already. Hina held back tears, because they were best shed alone, in private.

"You will be a big sister soon," Yua said.

Hina blinked in shock at the sudden pregnancy drop. She stared at Yua too stunned to speak for a moment.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes. I may have failed you, but I will not fail them."

Hina forced a smile, because she should be happy... she was happy, but it was soured by the realisation that the baby wasn't just a beautiful addition to her family, but a replacement for her. She stood up, hands shaking as she opened the door.

"I hope they make you smile," she said truthfully.

She hoped that baby made her family happy. She hoped another reincarnated weirdo like her wasn't born here again. She hoped no one else would be burdened with the memories of the future and of a past they could never return back to. Most of all she hoped that little baby would be loved.

Hina may have failed as a daughter, but she still loved, deeply and fully. Her family didn't understand and that was fine. They weren't at fault because she was silent about the truth. They didn't know any better. She just had to bear with rejection, because she could endure it as long as they lived to see the next day.

A head splattered against the pavement. Eyes hollow and dead to the world. Her brother in her arms

She shook her head of these odd flash back visions. A life lived before was inconsequential in the present. She couldn't remember the details of her past, but she knew one thing was certain. She would protect her future.

A/N

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, everyone. I'm glad you're enjoying this rewrite so far. This chapter was a little glimpse into her motivations going forward. Also Hina won't be a primary medic-nin if anyone is worried about that, neither will she be a punchy-healer like Tsunade or Sakura. She's always been more of a scientist like Orochimaru, but this time around I'm not making her a Taijutsu specialist like she was before. She'll be going down a more jack of all trades route.

Also yes, Tsukiya is still the same age as Itachi in this timeline.