Chapter 17

Sophia POV

I anxiously sat with my friends behind the gym, fidgeting with my fingers and wringing the hem of my sweater. The cigarette in my fingers shook as I took an anxious puff, wearing a hole in the concrete as I paced back and forth. It wasn't very common for me to ditch school and stay with my friends behind the gym, but I deemed today an exception; the thought of sitting still in a classroom full of stupid kids and a stupider teacher was enough to make me want to go insane. But now, sitting behind the gym with nothing to distract myself with, I was beginning to regret my choice.

"Would you calm the fuck down already?" Pete glared, angrily flicking the hair out of his face as I passed by him once again.

"Sorry." I muttered, flicking the ash off my cigarette and almost accidentally flicking the entire thing out of my hand.

"You need to relax Sophia," Henrietta leaned back on her hands, jutting her chin up. Her lips were painted a dark, almost black, purple today and her eyeliner was sharp enough to cut a bitch. "Don't let that mountain of cow shit see how much he's affecting you. When you see him, he has to think you don't give a rat's ass about him so he can't manipulate you emotionally. Although," She raised her cigarette to her lips, black nails shining. "I'd be more worried about his wife, she seems like she wears the pants in that relationship so she'll most likely be better at trying to sweet talk you." Henrietta looked begrudgingly impressed.

After the whole mess at Benny's yesterday, Debbie was actually the one to insist I go home early, I think she was upset about the scene that was caused and my little freak out; Porsche told me that Debbie had kicked out the couple almost right after I ran out because it was obvious they had something to do with it. The bubbly girl's concern made me uncomfortable and I wasn't sure how to react when she suddenly hugged me, firmly telling me to stay away from weirdos and that if I ever needed to talk she'd be there.

When we arrived at Henrietta's house, Mrs. Biggle happily greeted me with a bowl full of cut fruit and a smile, she tried offering some to Michael but he denied it and led me upstairs. After sharing what happened, none of them seemed very surprised.

"Yeah, that guy showed up at school looking for you, he was kind of an asswipe if you ask me." Pete's voice was very uninterested but the tension each of them held as they sat stiffly was pretty obvious.

"He says he wants to get to know you." Raven suddenly spoke, breaking the calm and earning a glare from Michael and Henrietta. "That he wants to make it up to you." He continued softly.

"As if Sophia is stupid enough to fall for that." Michael scoffed, letting himself fall into his usual seat. "She's not some little baby in need of someone to take care of her; she didn't need that clown before so she sure as hell doesn't need that idiot now." He rolled his eyes, taking out a cigarette and sparking his lighter. I could see Raven frowning at him, but I made no move to interject.

"What do you want Sophia?" He turned to me, blue eyes boring into the space my bangs occupied. I fidgeted uncomfortably as everyone's eyes flashed to me.

"I," my tongue darted out to lick my dry lips. "I don't understand what you mean."

"What I mean is," Raven spoke up over Michael who had just opened his mouth to say something. "Only you can decide what to do about this. If you want to meet your dad and talk to him that's fine, if you want to send him away and never mention him again that's fine too." He took a deep breath. "You know, I learned something today, what friendship's really about is supporting each other's decisions no matter your opinion on them because at the end of the day what you think might be best for your friend might not be what they need, and sometimes our protectiveness can cloud our judgment." By the end of his sentence he looked mildly surprised with himself and everyone else had varying expressions of disgust.

"I never thought I'd participate," Henrietta slowly stood up. "But like the high school cheerleaders whose lives are already plateauing, I need to go throw up everything in my stomach." She walked out, shuddering in disgust, and I continued looking at Raven, contemplating his surprisingly insightful words.

"That's the biggest pile of bullshit I've heard all day." Michael sneered. "Out of what self-help author's ass did you pull that one from? Or let me guess, you ran off with your conformist friends and held hands and made out to a Charlie Brown movie when you came up with that gem-"

"Michael." I furrowed my eyebrows, the sight of my frown made his mouth snap shut. He rolled his eyes and took a puff of his cigarette, turning his head away as Pete and Firkle let out a few snickers. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and letting my chest rise with the action before letting it all rush out at once. "I know nothing about my father, except that he left my mom before I was born." My eyes opened, now noticing that I had the four boys' attention. "This is probably my only chance to ask questions and figure out what actually happened. So, I will be meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Smithings tomorrow." They continued to stare at me silently and I was just getting fidgety again when a hand firmly clapped onto my shoulder and startled me out of it.

"Good for you Sophia, you can probably guilt trip the man into giving you the sixteen years' worth of child support he owes your mom." Henrietta smirked wickedly. "I'd recommend either cash or a prepaid credit card."

We were all startled back into attention as the gym's back doors were slammed open by PC Principal.

"Sophia Harte, I need to you to come to my office." His thick forearms were crossed over his broad chest. My hands fell limply to my sides and all I could do was swallow thickly in response.

"Okay." I gave my friends a reassuring nod and followed the tall principal back to his office, leaving my backpack with them. The last time I was there I'd been applying for early dismissal as a freshman, and was thankfully approved. I haven't had a reason to come back since.

"I'm assuming your friends told you what this is about, and I just want you to know that as your principal your safety and comfort is my number one concern." He continued looking forward as he spoke and I could only stare at him from the corner of my eyes, mildly interested in what he had to say. "If at any point you don't feel comfortable or like you're in a safe space, let me know and I'll stop the meeting or even call your mother if you'd like." I continued looking forward a bit awkwardly. Though PC Principal had always been straightforward in an almost painfully blunt way, he did care for his students and tried to be as fair as possible. He stopped in front of his office door and looked down at me. "Mr. and Mrs. Smithings are already inside, are you ready to join them?" I took a deep breath and nodded, repeatedly clenching and unclenching my fists. "I need verbal consent Sophia."

"Yeah, I'm ready, let's get this over with." I mumbled, glaring at the plaque that said "Principal's Office". He swung open the door and the first thing I saw was Charles whipping around in his seat and staring wide eyed at the door, breathing out a loud sigh of what must have been relief. His wife, Sarah, shook her head good naturedly at him before offering me a small sweet smile that I didn't return.

"Go ahead and have a seat Sophia." PC Principal walked around his desk and sat in his leather desk chair. I slowly sat in one of the three chairs in front of his desk, the one that so happened to be closest to the door. "Now, how about you introduce yourselves so we can get this meeting started?"

"That won't be necessary." I said quietly. "We already met yesterday." He nodded and folded his hands on his desk.

"Well Mr. Smithings, why don't you begin then?" Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Mr. Smithings sit up a little straight and hold a thick folder closer to his chest.

"Sophia," his voice cracked so he cleared his throat as I tensed up in my seat. "I... I've been looking for you for so long. I've hired a lot of investigators over the years, and I've actually gone to a few other cities looking for you, but by the time I'd found where you were, you and Christine had already moved again. We actually came really close a few years ago, but the apartment you two were staying in burned down right after you moved so the landlord couldn't tell us where you'd gone because he'd lost all his files. I couldn't hire another investigator for a few years because of how expensive this was all becoming, not to mention I had taken time off work to look for you, but I'm lucky enough to have a wife that supports me, and was able to save up again. We had almost begun to lose hope, but a few months ago the most recent detective we hired found you again, and I'm so so happy he did. Sarah and I took time off of our jobs to come look for you, and here we are." His wife supportively patted the top of his hand and he smiled at her. I think he was expecting me to say something, but I silently stared at him and his wife.

"Sophia, do you have anything you want to ask your dad?" Sarah sweetly asked. My flinch at the word "dad" was obvious, but no one commented on it.

"I don't know anything about you or what kind of relationship you and my mom had." I looked down at my hands, fidgeting with the hem of my faded sweater. "I've always assumed it was a one night stand or something, and I've never met my grandparents so I couldn't ask them either. So I have no idea what to ask."

Truth is I did have questions, I was practically brimming with them, but most of them weren't very nice, and seeing him sitting there with his nice wife, both staring at me so kindly, made the words die in my mouth before I could ask. So I guess I'd have to stick with the safer ones.

"So, uh, are you going to meet with my mom too or something?"

"Well, I knew we'd eventually have to, but my priority was finding you as soon as possible." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Would it have made you more comfortable if Christine was here?"

"No, that's fine." I immediately deflected. "But, what I don't understand is, why are you looking for me now? If you guys did have a one night stand, or whatever, then how did you even know my mom got pregnant in the first place? Why do you care enough to spend all this time and money on someone you don't even know?" At this point Mr. Smithings looked kind of constipated.

"Well, uh, the thing is, your mom and I were high school sweethearts, we were still together for the first few months of her pregnancy but, I felt like I wasn't ready to be a father and we had a few arguments. One thing led to another and we ended up breaking up. I wanted to continue supporting her even if it wasn't directly but her parents kicked her out as soon as we graduated high school, she left and I never heard from her again, I had no idea where she went or how you were. She gave birth a few months before we graduated, I was able to see you a few times before she disappeared, you were the cutest little thing." He looked down and his wife put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "After that I went to college, got a job, got married," he smiled gently at his wife, making something very uncomfortable rise in my chest. "But I still had no idea where you were, and it was killing me inside, so once I was able to save up the money I started hiring private investigators to look for you, and here we are." He smiled encouragingly at me, probably expecting to burst into tears and cry about how I've always wanted a father and always wanted to meet him.

"So, uh, you guys have been married for a while?" I changed the subject instead, uncomfortable with how eagerly he was staring at me, like he was expecting me to jump him or something.

"Oh, yes, we'll be celebrating our eleven year anniversary in a few months." She smiled at me, probably happy that I'm participating in their conversation. I furrowed my eyebrows. Eleven years huh? People don't just get married right away without knowing each other, so they must have been in a relationship for a while before getting married. My mom disappeared about six years before if my math is right...

"Did you know my mom too?" For the first time, her expression was caught off guard and a little sheepish.

"Y-yes, Christine and I were actually best friends when we were in high school together. We were both cheerleaders and had sleepovers all the time." I blankly stared at her, mouth set in a firm line as the gears in my head whirled like crazy. "You know, when we were younger we promised to be the godmother to each other's children, so this is all kind of ironic don't you think?" I still wasn't responding and she gave an uncomfortable giggle. "Charles and I have two children, a boy and a girl, so you have two half-siblings, would you like to see? Show her the pictures Charles." She nudged her husband who grabbed a thick wallet from his back pocket, opening it to a few transparent flaps for pictures. My body tensed up anxiously as I saw a family picture, four happy faces smiling up at me. My hands began shaking so I clenched them into fists and hid them in my pockets, ignoring the way he held out his wallet to me, as if he wanted me to take it and excitedly flip through his family pictures.

"The little girl is Amber, she's eight years old, and the boy is our oldest, Samuel, he's thirteen." Everything seemed to stop as I stared down at his children.

Amber was holding onto her father's pants leg, giggling and smiling at the camera, her dark hair, just like mine, was being tousled affectionately by Charles who had his other arm around his wife. Sarah had her arms around the boy's shoulders from behind, resting her chin on top of his head, making him roll his eyes exasperatedly, but not in a mean or sarcastic way. Samuel's eyes were very familiar, but not at the same time. Our left eyes were the same, purple with silver flakes, but his right was a mossy green color, just like Sarah's. They looked like a nice family, I admitted somewhere in the back of my mind, they looked like something out of a hallmark commercial; the type of family that goes out for picnics on the parents' days off and sends Christmas cards where they're all wearing matching sweaters. Sarah looked like the kind of mom you see in live action Disney shows; she's probably part of the PTA, attends all her kid's sport tournaments, and stands up for them against other, meaner, moms. Charles looked like the kind of father who got on his knees and let his little girl ride on his back, pretending to be her noble steed. He probably built them a tree house and took them out on family drives. Those kids probably had parties for every single one of their birthdays, even the ones they can't remember; they looked like the type of kids who got time outs and long talks instead of spankings. Like their parents read them bedtime stories and tucked them in every single night, and they probably weren't scoffed at if they asked for a nightlight to keep the monsters away. Unlike-

"I have other pictures, if you'd like to see them." Charles interrupted my train of thought, smiling gently at me. I hadn't even realized I was clutching his wallet in my shaky fingers, head bent over as I desperately analyzed every detail of the picture, trying to find something wrong-

"That's fine." My voice was embarrassingly horse, and I partially shoved his wallet at him.

"Oh. Okay, that's fine." He smiled but I would tell he was a little put off by my sudden change in behavior.

"Sophia," I almost forgot PC Principal was sitting right in front of us. "Isn't there anything you'd like to say?" There were a lot of things I could say, it was actually really hard to keep my mouth shut, but all I wanted was to get out of here and away from their stupid happy family, a family that I could never fit in with even if I wanted to.

"No sir, can I leave now?" Mr. and Mrs. Smithings' eyes widened, looking a little startled. PC Principal cleared his throat, sitting up in his chair.

"Sophia I don't think you understand how serious this situation is, maybe you should-"

"No thanks." I got up and pushed away from his desk, turning around and taking long strides to the door.

"S-Sophia wait-" I let the Principal's door slam behind me and immediately began running back to the gym's back entrance, heart already slamming against my ribcage. "Sophia, hold on!" Mr. Smithings called after me, but luckily for me, the bell rang and students came pouring out of the cafeteria filling the halls on their way to the classrooms, slowing him down. I was only a little out of breath as I wove in between students, most of them moving as they saw me run past them. Once I made it to the gym I was able to run more freely without having to worry about shoving any-

"Shit!" I gasped as I ran into someone taking us both down onto the hard floor.

"Ow, why the heck are you running like a crazy person?" Was the scathing response received as I was shoved away from a pair of long legs.

"Chill out Bebe, it was an accident, are you okay?" I looked up and stared at two girls I vaguely recognized. I'm pretty sure they were both cheerleaders, one with blond kinky curls and the other with dark straight hair that was only kind of shorter than mine.

"Y-yeah I'm fine, sorry." I quickly pulled myself up and dusted off my legs.

"You were running really fast, we didn't even see you coming, must be because of your long legs. I think they're even longer than yours Bebe." The black haired girl giggled, adjusting a purple beret that sat tastefully on her head. My face burned hotter.

"My bad." I patted my bangs down anxiously, looked at the scowling blond.

"Humph, whatever, just be more careful next time." I nodded, not waiting for a response before I continued running to the back door. It was a little bit funny to see my friends' startled faces as I practically launched myself through the doors, making them slam open loudly.

"What the fuck!" Pete was the first the react, jumping to his feet and staring at me with wide eyes.

"What happened?" Raven furrowed his brows, taking a concerned step towards me. They all stood up and I took a few deep breaths.

"Let's get the fuck out of here." I picked up my backpack and brushed past them, heading to the student parking lot.

"I trust it went well?" Henrietta sidled up next to me, matching my stride as she handed me a cigarette.

"They're a pair of conformists, you were right, that guy was just trying to settle his guilt." I glared as I pulled out my silver lighter, but only sparks came out. I glared as my finger flicked the tiny wheels harder but no flame came out, must be out of gas.

"What'd you expect, you don't need losers like them." Michael held out his own lighter, already lit, to my dry cigarette. I didn't even pause my stride as I took a few puffs, quickly lighting it and facing forward again.

"Yeah, you're better off." Pete patted my shoulder, flicking his bangs out of his face.

"Is their car here?" Firkle looked around the parking lot. I stopped next to Henrietta's mom's car and looked around.

"Yeah, it's that gray SUV." I pointed it out and Firkle smirked, opening a sharp looking butterfly knife with an expert flick of his wrist.

"Want me to slash their tires?" The look on his face was kind of cute despite the fierce expression and I couldn't help the snort that came out of my mouth.

"Nah, it's not worth it. Besides, they installed new cameras in the parking lot after you slashed Mr. Mackie's tires last year." I smiled, patting his head. "Thanks though." I opened one of the back doors and was about to get in when a voice called out.

"Sophia wait!" Sarah was speed walking, almost jogging, toward me. Her expression was serious, with furrowed brows and pursed lips.

"What does that bitch want?" Michael crossed his arms, glaring at the woman.

"What?" I stepped forward, stand in front of the car.

"Do you seriously have nothing to say to us? To your dad?" She looked pretty upset, I guess she was taking this personally.

"I don't think that's any of your business." I deeply inhaled from my cigarette, holding for a few seconds before blowing it upwards; I was tempted to blow the smoke in her face, but that would have been rude. Her glare deepened as she crossed her arms tightly, jutting her hip to the side.

"I don't think you realize how much Charles has gone through to find you," she started slowly. "He's sacrificed so much for this moment, to finally meet his daughter, and you're ruining it by being unreasonable. It's really selfish of you." A startled laugh left my mouth as I stared incredulously at her.

"Me? I'm the one being selfish? Are you fucking serious?" Ash flew from the tip of my cigarette as I waved my arms around, voice unnaturally loud. "Oh, I'm sorry, but what did you expect from me? That I would fly into your arms and beg to be part of your conformist family that looks like it came out of some shitty Netflix Original? Sorry that I'm not 'super excited' to meet the sperm donor that knocked up my mom and then broke up with her like some piece of shit with a flimsy excuse, but it's not my job to take away the guilt that every deadbeat dad deserves." Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was extremely satisfied to see her expression go from shocked to angry.

"Have you even been listening?! Charles had his reasons for leaving, he tried his best to get in touch with your mother, but it was out of his control! He's trying really hard to make up for it now, we both had to take time off of work and leave our children so we could come see you, and this is the thanks we get? Even without knowing the entire story you're choosing to reject your dad, it's like you don't even care!" Her response was scathing, full of motherly disappointment, but unfortunately for her, I was immune to that.

"I have been listening, and that's exactly why I don't feel bad for either of you." She couldn't see my eyes, but I hoped that by the set of my mouth she could tell how hard I was glaring. "Because, from what I heard, Charles has all the excuses in the world to justify why he left my mom or let her go, or whatever you want to call it, but the fact is that less than three years later, he knocked you up and chose to stay. For fucks sake, he even married you! How much can a person really change in less than three years? He was suddenly ready to settle down, be a father and start a life with someone, while still in the middle of college? You guys could have at least been honest, he could have just said he didn't love my mom enough to want to marry her, or stay with her for the rest of his life, not make up excuses about how 'he did all he could' and 'wasn't ready to be a father', but that's still not an excuse to be so irresponsible." I paused to take a deep breath of my cigarette, finger tips shaking. From behind Sarah, I could see Charles running to catch up with us, a worried look on his face.

"You aren't being fair." She said in a small voice, her expression going from angry to somewhere between sad and confused.

"What isn't fair is that, that man," I pointed a long-nailed finger at Charles who was looking between us in concern. "Left me to grow up with an alcoholic cunt who wouldn't know what a mother was if one walked up and punched her in the face. He left me to grow up alone with a bitch that made my life a living hell and preferred to do her shopping at a liquor store instead of a grocery store. That same bitch that's only semblance of a parenting skill was making me clean up after her and throwing me down into basements or closets when she got tired of me. So you'll have to forgive me, if I don't exactly feel any sympathy for the reason my life is so fucking shitty." I took one last puff of my cigarette before flicking the butt at them and turning on my heel. My friends' faces were shocked, and for a split second I forgot they were there.

"That's right assholes, stay away from Sophia." Henrietta spit at their feet before getting into the driver's seat and starting the car. Pete sat in the front with her and the rest of us piled in the back. In true Henrietta fashion, she sped away making the tires squeal loudly and a cloud of burnt rubber was all that we left behind. In the rearview mirror I caught the couple's expressions. They both looked upset, Sarah was waving her hands around a bit and Charles looked really sad. Laying into them like that didn't bring me the satisfaction I thought it would; there seemed to be a pit in my stomach, a black hole that threatened to suck up all my organs, leaving me to collapse from the inside out.

"Let's go to the cemetery." Firkle piped up, looking around Raven to stare out the window. Raven looked down at me and gave me a small almost encouraging smile, but before I could return it, Michael nudged me and stole my attention.

"You don't need those conformist shit stains." He smirked at me. "You have us."

"I know." I nodded, leaning my head against his shoulder and closing my eyes. Who wanted to be part of their conformist family anyway?

3rd POV

"What's her problem?" Bebe scoffed as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, watching the tall goth girl burst through the back doors of the gym, scaring her other goth friends.

"Who knows?" Wendy shrugged, eyes fixated on the open doors. Watching a familiar set of broad shoulders move before the person turned and stood up, showing her ex-boyfriend.

Yeah, Wendy might have been the one to dump Stan but that didn't mean she didn't miss him. Token was great and treated her like a princess while also giving her the space to be independent, but there was no one like Stan. Plus there was also a certain comfort about being with someone you've known your whole life. As the weeks rolled by, Wendy had begun to second guess her choice and was wondering if she'd done the right thing. With Stan being goth again, she thought she'd be able to get over him, the whole out of sight out of mind thing, but she did catch glimpses of him every once in a while. Her other friends had either scoffed or laughed, but Wendy had always known Stan was sensitive and seeing him take such a turn was endearing, it showed how much he cared.

"Whatever, let's go get ready for volleyball practice." Now that football season was over, Bebe and Wendy could focus on their other extracurricular activities besides cheerleading.

"Yeah, okay." Wendy mumbled, watching as the doors closed and Stan slowly disappeared from her sight. She couldn't help but fidget with the charm bracelet on her wrist, a present from Token, as she looked at Stan's worried expression before it completely disappeared.

Had she always missed Stan this much?