Leave

Yeah, we're only human

But that don't mean that we can't change

I can hurt you, you can hurt me

But we feel each other's pain

And that's what makes us human

That I could break your heart in two

And still love you through all the days we've been gettin' through

For both our sake, let's put love back in its place

I won't give up on you, so darlin', don't give up on me

Don't you wanna stay? Don't just walk away from our memories

And I can't promise nothin' but the rest of me

I'll fight for you, I'll fight for us, I'll fight to never leave

"Never Leave" by Bailey Zimmerman

Why did they always have to have serious conversations while standing in her kitchen? Here they stood, the second time in a matter of weeks, trying to figure out where they stood.

Olivia leaned against the counter arms wrapped around her middle. Elliot stood a couple feet away leaning against the opposite counter, hands deep into his jeans pockets.

"Liv," he let out a frustrated sigh, "I want to fix this, but I don't know how."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to cry again. How could she explain she wanted this so bad, she wanted him, but she can't let go. "El, I promise I'm trying. My rational self believes you when you say you will never leave me again."

"But?" he prompted.

"I can't let it go. I know you were married. I know you were more obligated to your family than you ever could be to me." She swallowed back more threatening tears, "You never promised me what you promised them or her." She shook her head, "So I know I had no claim, I have no reason to feel incomprehensibly betrayed, but part of me still does."

He reached his hand out for hers, closing the distance between them. "If I could do it again…" he didn't finish the thought. This was the same conversation that they've had over and over. Seeming always to dance around each other, never gaining any ground.

She kept his hand in his, but she felt as distant as ever. His eyes met hers, radiating sadness and regret. "When we were partners I trusted you implicitly. No fear. No doubt." There was no stopping the tears now, "I never trusted anyone like I trusted you." She pulled her hand back to cover her mouth, attempting to shove back the rising sob. "And want to trust you the same way I did then, but I just can't."

He nodded, trying to process what she just communicated. "Then don't"

"What?" Her voice was low and confused.

"We aren't the same people we were then. I don't expect you to trust me the same way you did." He reached for her hand again, "I'm not asking you to change how you feel, I'm asking you to give us a chance."

"What if it doesn't work out?" She felt like a broken record. "There is too much at stake." She shook her head, "I can't lose you again." She sucked in a breath before saying, "I love you too much. It would kill me." Her tears freely fell, and she let them. "If I let this happen, if you have all of me, and leave, I'll have nothing left."

He tugged on her hand, pulling her into his arms. "I love you." He kissed the top of her head. "Life isn't a sure thing Liv. Every relationship worth having comes at some risk." He let out a slow breath. "I'm willing to risk it, Liv. Everything." He brushed tears from her cheeks. "I have loved you so long that I don't remember a time when I didn't." He cupped her face, his eyes pleading, "Please." He leaned into her, brushing her hair away from her face and whispering in her ear, "Let me love you."

Her head was spinning. His closeness, his touch were absolutely intoxicating. It wasn't a conscious choice to kiss him, rather, a magnetic pull. An act of fate. She had loved him too deeply for too long, and the damn burst. All the pain, heartbreak, and love of the past two decades seeped into this desperate show of undying affection.

She pulled him closer, wanting him to feel how much she needed him, wanted him. His hands slid down her back to her butt. He lifted her into him and continued kissing her with newly unlocked passion. She wrapped her legs around him as he made his way down the hall to her room, kicking the door closed behind him.