9: Combat Cross
"Liv? Can you pull out some forks? I forgot to buy some plastic ones." Elliot hollered from his room.
"My hands are full. I'll have Noah grab some!" She yelled back.
"Noah, can you pull some forks out?" He dropped his phone on the couch.
"Yeah, where are they?" He walked over to the kitchen and began opening drawers.
"I think they're in the second drawer over." Liv set the sodas she was carrying into the fridge. "Did you find them?" She called over her shoulder. When he didn't answer, she turned.
Noah had pulled two black boxes out of a drawer. Liv walked up behind him to see what he found so interesting. "What are these Mom?" Noah had the boxes open. Two combat cross medals sat in front of him. One looked a little older, and the other looked in pristine condition.
"They're combat crosses," she answered, brushing her finger over the newer one.
"What are they for?" He followed Liv's example, carefully touching one.
"They are really special. An officer can be awarded one if they fought bravely in a situation where they could've been killed." She again ran her fingers across the face of the new one. Why did Elliot have two?
"Oh." Noah seemed to understand its importance.
"Why are they in a kitchen drawer then?" She carefully closed the cases.
"Not sure, probably have to ask Elliot that." Honestly, she wondered the same thing.
"Why does he have two?" Noah asked, finally finding the forks.
Good question she thought.
From the hallway Elliot answered, "One is my Dad's." Liv noticed he looked nervous. His eyes met hers when he said, "The other is mine."
Liv's eyes widened in surprise. How did she miss this? Why didn't he tell her he received the combat cross? It was kind of a big deal.
"That's really cool Elliot!" Noah bounced over to where he stood. "Why'd you get it?"
Liv hurried to Noah's side, "Noah," she scolded, "that might be kind of personal for Elliot." Her eyes met his again. There had to be a reason he didn't tell her.
"No no, it's okay." He squatted down to Noah's eye level. "You know how sometimes there are bad cops, kinda like how there are bad people?" Noah nodded. "I helped arrest a team of bad cops." Liv saw him wince a little at the oversimplification. She knew that case was extraordinarily difficult for him. "Before we could arrest them they shot me three times, but I was wearing my vest." Noah's eyes widened.
Just then, Eli busted through the door, "I got fruit salad if that's okay? I didn't want the real salad so I went with the fruit."
"Set it in the fridge Eli." Eli ditched the bags in the fridge without removing any items.
"Want to see my new game Noah."
"Yeah!" Noah bounded after Eli who was already heading to his room. Moments later the sound of laughter echoed through the house.
Elliot and Olivia stood awkwardly for a minute. Finally, Olivia moved over to the kitchen to find some way to keep herself busy. She noticed a few stray dishes in the sink and began washing got a f-ing combat cross and didn't tell her. He got shot and didn't tell her. Why? There was usually a ceremony. It stung that he neglected to invite her. Hell, she didn't even know about it. She heard him come around the island in the kitchen, but she kept the focus on the dish in her hands.
"Liv," his voice pleading.
She didn't turn. If she turned she would probably start crying, and she didn't want to cry right now. She wanted to be mad.
"Come on Liv. Look at me." She still didn't turn so he reached for her arm, pulling her away from the sink.
She still avoided eye contact, not wanting to have this conversation right now. Bernie and Kathleen would be there soon, and this felt like a long emotional conversation in the making.
Elliot lifted her chin, and she had no choice but to look into those deep blue eyes. She tried to pull away, but he kept his hold firm.
She sighed in defeat. Apparently they were talking about this now. "Why didn't you tell me? Why would you not want me there? I know things have been rocky between us, but I thought you would at least invite me to something as important as that." She focused on her breathing in an attempt to push back her tears.
His hand slid down her arm grabbing her hand. His voice was low and apologetic, "I didn't want the thing. After finding out how my father got his, and then everything with Frank," He sighed, "It was complicated. I honestly didn't want anyone there, but Bell made me at least invite my family."
She tried to understand, but she still felt shut out and frustrated. Didn't he tell her she was family only a few weeks ago? The words felt hollow now. She really didn't want to talk about this. "I need some air." She pulled her hand from his grasp and walked out to the garden, shutting the door behind her.
The air felt cool on her face, and she wished she brought her jacket out with her. She stared aimlessly at the bench and the few potted plants while wrapping her arms around herself. Every time she thinks they are making progress, he does something to set them back. Even if he wanted to burn the damn combat cross he should have told her. She heard the door open and shut behind her. A blanket dropped onto her shoulders, but she didn't turn around.
"Liv, I'm sorry." He placed his hands on her upper arms and spoke the words behind her ear.
"Why do you do this to me?" She asked, still not facing him.
He rubbed his hands up and down her arms now chilled with goosebumps. "I don't know." He admitted.
Finally she turned, needing to vent some of this anger. "The combat cross is a big deal, no matter how you felt about it. And you were shot three times? I don't care if you took them to the vest, that's something I want to know about." She shook her head in frustration, "How are we supposed to trust each other, and build whatever the hell this relationship is if you don't talk to me?"
"I guess I wanted to protect you from all the drama around it. The whole case was a mess and even though I did the right thing it still felt like I betrayed my fellow officers."
Her hand cupped his cheek. "When will you realize I don't need you to protect me? Some of the worst, most hurtful, choices you made were because you were trying to protect me. I want honesty. I want the truth, and then let ME decide how to proceed. Don't take away my choices."
He nodded in understanding. "I really am sorry Liv. I was trying to do the right thing."
"I know," she answered, "but from here on out just talk to me. Be honest with me."
His eyes all of the sudden twinkled with an all too familiar look of flirtation. "Want me to be honest?" He pulled her against his chest, and her arms instinctively wrapped around his torso. The blanket fell to the ground. "I'm honestly completely in love with you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms, and wake up to you there. I want you. All of you."
Silence passed while she didnt know what to say.
"You okay?" He asked, bending his head down to better see her face.
"Yes," she answered. Her deep brown eyes meet his, "I'm perfect actually." In a moment of pure impulse she kissed his lips.
He smiled and his whole being exuded joy. This time he kissed her, and she felt all the longing and desire that followed them for years. In this minute, things felt right, perfect.
She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. His tongue ran across her bottom lip, making her shudder with desire. She wanted him too. In every possible way. She opened her mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. She slid her hands down to his chest feeling the toned muscle through his shirt. Her breath caught as his hand snuck beneath her shirt, pressing into the skin of her lower back, enticing her hips closer. In the throes of this passionate kiss they heard a tap on the window. Their lips parted and both turned their heads towards the glass doors.
Standing on the other side of the glass was Kathleen and Bernie, both smiling ear to ear. He groaned. She chuckled, a little embarrassed. "What did we expect when we started making out in front of a glass window?
He let out a husky laugh, "I guess you're right. We are never going to hear the end of this."
"Probably not," she smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "We better get in there. We are becoming a circus exhibit."
They both looked back at the glass doors to see Noah and Eli gaping at them from behind the glass.
"Okay," he sighed. He slipped his hand into hers, tugging her back into the house, to the probable heckling that awaited them.