Chapter 103

A Dangerous Memory

Being back at Hogwarts felt different now for Lily; for a start, people wanted to speak to her about the attack at the Great Market, and there seemed to be a renewed interest in people wanting to learn spells from Lily, like some had done the year before. For her part, Lily was content to let Professor Snape teach, especially since she was just a student, and Snape was an expert.

In the first week back, a sign went up regarding apparition lessons, which she was hesitant about, given how it had felt with Dumbledore, but she signed up nevertheless, as did most others in her year group. Everyone was secretly taking wagers on how long it would take Hermione to ace apparition.

The first day back, Lily had received the date of the next lesson with Dumbledore and Crouch, something she was also looking forward to. She wanted to speak to Dumbledore about the attack and wondering what he had been doing. She also had a lot to talk with Crouch about, mostly about Horcruxes, after the last time they had met and talked.

By the time she and Ginny were approaching Dumbledore's office, both of them had thought of what they wanted to learn, and ask Dumbledore about, but only if the chance presented itself.

As they entered the office, Dumbledore was smiling at them, as though he was looking forward to seeing them. "Ah, Ginny, Lily, good evening. I hope your first week back has been more peaceful than your Christmas," Dumbledore said.

"Somewhat, other than everyone wanted to know about what happened," Lily replied, as she and Lily sat down, with Crouch offering them both something to drink. "Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome," Crouch replied, sitting down with a drink of his own. "You had a hell of a Christmas, I gather?"

"That's putting it mildly," Ginny sighed, before taking a sip of her drink. "I don't suppose you've got any idea why he decided to attack the market?"

"Many, though most of them unlikely. My primary suspicion is that it was either an attempt to bring fear to the wizarding world, or it was meant to distract us from something else he was doing," Dumbledore explained.

"Distract us?" Lily asked, frowning.

"It was a popular method of his back in the first war," Crouch elaborated. "When he wanted to do something without being seen, he'd have his Death Eaters do something else, so that he could slip around unseen."

"As much as I hate to admit it, that's pretty clever," Lily spoke bitterly.

"It works, sadly," Crouch agreed. "Knowing it's a distraction, however, doesn't help if we don't know what he was doing."

"Something dangerous, no doubt," Ginny said. "This is definitely getting out of control. People died, and we have to live with that."

"No, you don't. You saved lives, both of you. The four people who died were killed by Voldemort's people, not you," Crouch said. He stood up and looked at the two of them. "I know this is going to be hard to hear, but you can't blame yourself. This is war, Lily, and you can't save everyone. It doesn't matter how hard you try, or how brave you are. It can be an enemy, a friend, or a stranger, or even someone you love, but you just can't save everyone."

Lily could see the tears in his eyes and heard the way his voice was breaking. She remembered what Crouch had said about his friend, the first mission he had gone on as a Death Eater, and something about that struck her, hard.

He was speaking from experience. He had wanted to save his friend, or maybe she had been more than that to him? Had he loved her, but lost her? She didn't know, but she could just feel it, in that moment, that he had loved his friend, and had been the one to kill her, in self-defence.

That feeling was something she was afraid of, if she was honest. She didn't want to have to fight anyone she knew or cared about, and she had wanted to help save everyone, but every time she spoke to Dumbledore, to Crouch, to anyone, and even after the battles, it was becoming increasingly clear that she would never be able to save everyone. But she was starting to understand, which she was able to get across simply by the look in her eyes.

Crouch smiled softly at her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You can only do your best, and that may not feel like enough sometimes, but I assure you, it is," Crouch told her. "I know there are people alive today who wouldn't be if not for you. Look at what you have done, and who you can save, rather than those you can't," she said.

"Sage advice," Dumbledore agreed. "Barty, you have been an excellent tutor for Lily and Ginny this year, and I am thankful for it."

"Like I just said, I'm just doing the best I can," Crouch replied. He was wearing a brown suit today instead of a blue one, but Lily liked the look. It reminded her of the kind of suits Sirius wore when they went out.

"I understand you met with Rufus as well over Christmas," Dumbledore said.

"I did," Lily confirmed. "He's offered me a position in the Auror Office when I graduate from Hogwarts."

"A position you would be well suited for, I'm certain," Dumbledore said. "When I spoke to Rufus last year, at the Ministry after the battle, he was impressed with all that you had done. He has certainly taken a special interest in you, and in your protection. His idea of removing the trace was one he ran by me first, and I will admit, I was pleasantly surprised. I half expected Rufus to want to simply use you to boost his own image, but I believe the fact that a Death Eater was able to take over the Ministry chastised him and removed any ego inflation ideas he had."

"Yeah, that had to be a shock," Ginny agreed. "Learning your boss was working for Voldemort all along, definitely not a fun revelation."

"Indeed not. Rufus has definitely been a powerful force for good as Minister, and he has taken swift and decisive action. He even goes out into the field to help protect those who can't fight, and leads by example, much like Cornelius did. I have given Rufus my full support, and will continue to do so," Dumbledore said.

"Likewise, sir," Lily said, smiling. "But you'll always have our support most of all. We trust you, with our lives."

Dumbledore froze for a moment, a tear gleaming in the corner of his eye. "I am very touched, Lily," Dumbledore said finally, smiling softly at her. "I shall continue to endeavour to be worthy of your trust."

Dumbledore stood from his chair, and walked around the office, clearly pacing. Lily could tell he was trying to decide how to explain something but didn't know what.

"Tonight, we'll be looking at an important memory, although I will be giving you, shall we say, homework, afterwards," Dumbledore said. "The memory we will be looking into is one of Professor Slughorn's."

"Is this something to do with why you wanted Professor Slughorn here at Hogwarts, and why he was hesitant?" Lily asked.

"Nothing, it seems, gets past you Lily. You are correct on both counts," Dumbledore confirmed. "There is something that I need to confirm, but first, we need to view the memory. Shall we begin?" he asked.

Walking over to the Pensieve, Lily felt a little anxious, wondering what they were going to see in Slughorn's past. Had the man been Voldemort's teacher? Did Slughorn know something about Voldemort that would help them defeat him? Lily didn't know, but it was going to be interesting.

Lily immediately recognised where they were; it was in Hogwarts, though not in the office Slughorn currently held. But he was there with a young Tom Riddle, along with a number of other students, at what looked like a 'Slug Club' gathering, everyone drinking juice or butterbeer, whilst Slughorn was drinking what was clearly Oak Matured Mead.

"This is after he killed his father, right?" Lily asked.

"Indeed, though I did not know at the time, since I had not yet researched his family ties at this point," Dumbledore replied.

"Sir, is it true that Professor Merrythought is retiring?" Riddle asked. Lily watched as Slughorn chuckled before taking a sip of his drink, before wagging a finger at him. Lily noted that the tips of his fingers were covered in sugar and spotted a small bowl of something nearby. Lily walked over and looked at it, seeing that it was crystallised Pineapple.

"Tom, Tom, if I knew, I couldn't tell you, my boy," Slughorn said, smiling. "I have to admit, I'd love to know where you get your information. You know more about events than most of the staff."

"I just hear things, sir," Riddle replied.

"Well, with your uncanny ability to know things you shouldn't, and flattering those who matter – and thank you for the pineapple, speaking of which, you're quite right, it is my favourite," Slughorn said, and Lily could see a smirk on Riddle's face. A part of her wanted to smack Riddle, but she knew it was impossible.

Before Slughorn could say something else, there seemed to be a white fog filling the room, blocking everyone from sight, and Slughorn's voice seemed to fill the room.

"You'll go wrong, boy, mark my words," Slughorn seemed to state boldly. Something immediately bothered Lily. Nothing like this had happened in other memories, and it felt wrong to her.

Lily looked at Ginny, who also had the same look of confusion on her face, but seeing Crouch and Dumbledore, it seemed that both of them knew what was wrong.

The room cleared, as if nothing had happened. "Good gracious, is that the time?" Slughorn asked, smiling. "You'd better be going, boys, or we'll all be in trouble. Lestrange, Avery, I want your essay by tomorrow, or I'll be forced to give you a detention."

As the students began to file out, aside from Riddle, Lily noted, Slughorn went to his desk with his now empty glass, not noticing Riddle, until everyone else had gone. Clearly, Riddle wanted something.

"Look sharp, Tom, you don't want to be caught out of bed this time of night," Slughorn told him. "You, a prefect, after all."

"Sir, I wanted to ask you something," Riddle said. Slughorn nodded, smiling still.

"Sir, I wanted to ask you about… well, about Horcruxes," Riddle said. There was that word again, Horcruxes. What the hell were they? Was Crouch going to explain everything yet? Why was Hermione allowed to know, and the others weren't?

Lily couldn't ask anything, or study anything else, because the room filled with smoke, and Slughorn's voice boomed out again.

"I don't know anything about Horcruxes, and I wouldn't tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once, and don't let me catch you mentioning them again!" Slughorn demanded. Before anything else could happen, the memory ended, and the four of them were standing back in Dumbledore's office.

"I'm sure you have questions," Dumbledore said, as they all sat down.

"Comments more than anything," Lily said. "Professor Slughorn modified his memory, didn't he?"

Dumbledore look thrilled with Lily for her conclusion, nodding in confirmation.

"You are correct, Lily. I do not know what Horace and Tom discussed, but clearly, Horace is ashamed of what was spoken of," Dumbledore replied.

"What's a Horcrux, sir?" Ginny asked.

"That will be discussed later, after your homework. I will tell you after you have completed a task I need you to do," Dumbledore said. "Over the last few months, you have gotten close to Horace, to the point where he considers you close to him. Since I was able to get him to give me this memory, he has been wary of me, and has not allowed me a chance to retrieve the true memory. I hope you will have better luck than I will."

"And if I can?" Lily asked. "Or worse, if I can't?"

"I cannot overstate how important this memory is, Lily. You must do anything you can to retrieve this memory, as it is, I believe the final key to the puzzle that we're looking for," Dumbledore explained. "I have every confidence in you. Please alert me as soon as you have it."

"I will, sir," Lily promised.

"I'll escort them back to their dorm, Albus," Crouch said. Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Please do, Barty. Until next time, Lily, Ginny," Dumbledore bid them farewell, as Crouch led the way from the office.

"You were right, sir," Lily said, as she sat in a chair in an empty classroom. Crouch had led Ginny and Lily to the room, which was near the staircase to the dorms.

"Indeed. I trust Miss Granger has been studying the book I gave her?" Crouch asked.

"Every day, and she refuses to tell anyone what's in it. We understand you wanted us all to know, but it seems like we're finding the path now. What is a Horcrux?" Lily asked. Crouch sighed softly and closed his eyes.

"I already suspect Albus knows we have been meeting regularly to talk, outside of the weekly meetings we've been having to train," Crouch said. "I must confess, you've come along brilliant over the last few months. When we train, I see the skills you all have, and it's impressive."

"We want to bring Draco and Pansy to our next training session on Sunday," Lily said. "They're part of the Order of the Dragon now, and we trust them."

"Alright, I'll alert Alastor that they'll be joining our weekly sessions," Crouch agreed, smiling at her. "Horcruxes… they are amongst the most dangerous, and darkest, forms of magic to ever exist."

"Is that why we don't learn of them here?" Ginny asked.

"Exactly. I believe there might have a time when you could learn of them here, but when Albus became the headmaster, he likely removed everything to do with them. The book I gave Miss Granger was Secret's of the Darkest Arts. There were a lot of dark spells and objects discussed in that book, and if anyone can study them, and not want to use them, but yet understand them, it'd be her," Crouch explained.

"Yeah, can't disagree with you there," Lily replied.

"Out of everything I've ever known, a Horcrux is one of the worst things to exist. I don't know how they were created, but they take a great power to create, and an unthinkable act; Murder," Crouch continued.

"What do they do?" Ginny asked, frowning.

"When someone creates a Horcrux, they split their soul into two pieces, leaving the second part in an object, usually something with some significance to the person. If the person is killed, they still live in a form, because their soul still exists. This would explain how he survived before; he made a Horcrux, and so when he was hit with his rebounding curse, he was split from his body, but a piece of his soul still existed, so he was tethered to this world. What his Horcrux is, I don't know, but finding it will be the hardest part. To destroy a Horcrux, you need to damage it beyond repair. One of the easiest ways to do it requires a lot of power, however," Crouch explained.

"Such as Fiendfyre," Lily surmised.

"Exactly," Crouch confirmed, nodding. "That's why you've been learning it, and soon, I'll teach you to cast it. If this is the case, you definitely need to learn that spell. The good news is that once we find and destroy the Horcrux, then Voldemort will be able to be killed as easily as anyone else, even if he is a gifted wizard."

"That's likely where Dumbledore's been going, isn't it?" Lily guessed.

"Most likely, yes," Crouch affirmed. "He's trying to find out more of Voldemort so he can figure out what the horcrux is."

"Makes sense. Guess we'll be keeping busy as well," Lily said. "Next year, if… if the worst… well, Ginny and I were talking, and we doubt we'll be coming back, and now we understand why we felt this way. If Dumbledore doesn't find it, then we'll need to."

"Back in September, Albus had me create multiple safe houses in the muggle world, and the wizarding world, though he didn't want to know where, and he didn't say why. I suspect he's thinking along the same lines as you," Crouch said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "There's so many things that man is planning, it puts me to shame."

"Whatever the plan is, we need to be ready," Ginny told them.

"You're right," Lily agreed. She took a breath as she looked at Crouch and Ginny. "We need to be ready to hunt, and to fight. Everything – and everyone – is depending on us!"