Chapter 48: Love

Ariadne felt her breath hitch as Sirius's hands travelled over the fullness of her breasts, then up to her throat, lingering there for a moment to let his thumb part her lips. Then he reached for her hair, where his fingers grabbed and entangled in her locks with a pleasant firmness. He leaned down, pulled her face close to his and kissed her deeply, not missing a beat while his body rocked against hers.

Ariadne felt herself losing all control of her faculties as that kiss, and all the other sensations throbbing through her body, overloaded her senses. Sirius could tell, and let his hand run down her body again before stopping between her thighs, where their legs interlocked. Not even having the self-possession to cringe at herself, which she probably would have in other circumstances, Ariadne moaned his name. Sirius intensified the pace of his actions, but steadily, never frantic, always so surely in control. Ariadne's legs curled around his waist as her pleasure reached an almost unbearable peak. Only moments later, she vaguely registered Sirius's breathing sounding rougher and quicker. Finally, he collapsed into her, burying his face in her still rising and falling chest.

She allowed her hand to rest in his thick, mussed hair. Sirius raised his face to look at her but Ariadne instead shifted her body down so that she could tuck her head into his chest. Sirius firmly wrapped his arms around her and his lips brushed the top of her hair. In that moment, it felt nothing short of blissful to Ariadne. Coming down from the intense heights of pleasure Sirius brought her to, he also caught her so tenderly and securely. Yet, she couldn't banish the slightest hint of guilt hat prevented her from fully enjoy herself.

Sirius, of course, immediately sensed that something was wrong. "What's got your wand in a twist, Morrigan?" he asked softly.

Ariadne groaned, this time in discomfiture, not pleasure, and tried to twist her body away.

"What is it? Did I…not do something right?" Sirius asked, genuinely bewildered. Growing even more concerned, he continued in a hushed voice, "Did you not like it? Was I too rough?"

"No, no, Sirius, you were fantastic, as usual," Ariadne reassured him, waving her hand to dismiss his worries.

"Oh, excellent," he said, his shoulders relaxing in relief. He looked at Ariadne's still-bare body, now folded with her arms wrapped around her knees and the silky sheets pooled at her feet. "Then what is it?"

"I hate that you now know when something's up with me. I haven't even said anything. You're like my own personal creepy Legilimens."

Sirius's mouth formed the beginnings of a smile. "Morrigan, may I enlighten you as to the concept of friendship?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Sirius was now fully amused. "Well, it's this truly radical idea that when two people enjoy each other's company, and share interests, and spend time together, they develop some familiarity with each other, and eventually, the ability to ascertain when something might be bothering the other person." He leaned in with a mock conspiratorial air. "Some might even describe us as friends." He waited for a beat. "Or perhaps a little more than that."

Ariadne shot him a look. Now that he had picked up on her uneasy conscience, she was going to have to have an uncomfortably vulnerable conversation. Sirius seemed to have that effect on her.

"It's just that…" she sighed. "Well, I can't help but feeling that…I'm allowing you to love me, but you're not getting anything in return." She forced out the last part of her sentence and hesitantly glanced at Sirius.

Sirius had slid down to rest his head next to her waist and was toying with a lock of her long hair. "Well, that doesn't seem like too bad of an arrangement."

"Perhaps not for me. But are you sure that's what you want?" she said haltingly, now gazing down at him with concern in her eyes.

In a response she found most unexpected, Sirius's face lit up and he replied brightly, "Well done, Ariadne! Top marks."

"What in the world of warlocks are you on about, Black?"

"You did brilliantly—you're Exceeding Expectations for sure."

"Black, cut the bollocks and give me a damn answer."

"Well, you just gave us a stellar example of behaving as a friend to someone! Showing consideration for their feelings and needs."

"How is it then that you and Potter have been best of friends for seven years without once doing that?"

Sirius was unperturbed by this cutting accusation. "That's different," he replied, still lazily twirling a few strands of her hair between his fingers. Ariadne wondered at the fact that she hadn't made him stop. "Potter and I are more like bickering siblings, than friends."

Well, Potter being right in the middle is something to keep in mind if I ever did decide to start dating Sirius, Ariadne thought to herself. "Okay, I admit, I am looking out for your emotional well-being. I guess that makes us…friends."

"Indeed, and I'm so proud of how far you've come, Morrigan. The only other times I've heard you admit to friendship with the Marauders is when we've had wands at our throats, or we're being insulted with unspeakable language by dark wizards."

Ariadne didn't want to let him evade her original concern forever, though. "But Sirius, am I wrong? Are you sure this…arrangement is okay with you?"

Sirius looked up at her with his now-almost-commonplace intense gaze. "If it's all right with you, Morrigan, it's all right with me." He fiddled with her hair for a moment, then let his eyes wash over her, taking her in. Nothing that Sirius did with eyes seemed without purpose, to Ariadne. "I can't keep my feelings for you locked off completely when I'm close to you, which is quite a lot. And nothing's fair in love or war, and we seem to have a bit of both in our relationship at all times."

Ariadne held his gaze uncertainly. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was slightly unfair for her to benefit from Sirius's love and adoration while not reciprocating the feeling. Unless…

Again, Sirius seemed to read her mind without harnessing any magical abilities whatsoever. "Yes, I've considered that there's a future path where you change your mind. Where maybe, you just need time. I know that's in no way guaranteed. I'm not holding out for it. But I'm not giving up on it, either. I'm not trying to convince you. But I can show you what being together, what being loved, might be like. And with that information, you can decide, on your own time." He paused. "Ariadne, you'd be worth waiting for."

For once, Ariadne couldn't poke holes in his measured and nuanced approach to her feelings. His feelings. Both—they were all tangled together, just like their bodies in the bedsheets.

To the surprise of them both, Ariadne leaned in to kiss Sirius. When she thought about this in retrospect, this move could have conveyed many mixed signals. But what she was really doing here, she concluded, was following her base, instinctual desire without overthinking it—and isn't that what Sirius was trying to instruct her to do?

Sirius didn't question it, either. He kissed her back, meltingly, slowly, and she thought how convenient it was that they already had their clothes off.