Chapter 53: Girl Talk
Ariadne nibbled the toast and marmalade they had brought up from the Great Hall as she listened to Priya's extensive rant about Ravenclaw interference in planning the live musical entertainment for this year's Yule Ball.
"—and then, that idiot Florian— the one who wins most of his points for Ravenclaw Quidditch by wearing down the ref rather than actually scoring goals—said he thought a classical string quartet playing waltzes would be suitable for the ENTIRE night—"
Sophie gave a huge yawn, which Priya interpreted as agreement with her proclamation that this would be "boring as bullocks", though Ariadne strongly suspected it was more due to the early timing of their breakfast appointment.
"I mean, can you imagine only doing those stuffy, boring waltzes all night long? No one would even stay past eight o'clock!"
"You're right, Priya, and such a boring Yule Ball would only result in a proportionately more debaucherous and wild Gryffindor afterparty," predicted Ariadne grimly, already thinking of the amount of prefect work that would entail.
"Oh, well, I'm assuming a wicked afterparty in the Common Room is already in the works," said Priya, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "So make sure you save some energy for that, Ariadne," she added with a wink. "Based on how you've been lately, you and Sirius will probably be tearing up the dance floor all night long."
This prompted a rendition of "Ariadne and Sirius, sittin' in a tree" from Sophie, who had been glowingly reciting the stupid rhyme every time Sirius was mentioned.
Ariadne, Priya and Sophie had taken their Saturday morning breakfast upstairs to the common room, taking advantage of the fact that almost everyone else would be downstairs in the Great Hall (or still asleep) to have a more private and intimate meal together. They had a lot of catching up to do.
"Ari, save a few dances for us at the Yule Ball. We hardly see you anymore," pouted Sophie when she was done singing.
Ariadne sighed. "I know, Soph, and I'm sorry about that."
"Honestly, if I was shagging and hanging out with Sirius Black, I'd want to do it all the time too," said Priya, lounging against a squishy cushion in front of the cozy fire. "So I don't really blame you, Ariadne."
"Yes, but you're my friends too, and you deserve some of my time," replied Ariadne.
What time, exactly, she had to give them, she wasn't sure, between her coursework, prefect duties, and constant exploits with the Marauders. But at least their breakfast rendezvous was something.
"Since you and Remus are dating, we should all hang out more, as a group," suggested Ariadne.
"I would, but you all can be so secretive at times," said Priya, nibbling the bacon they had brought. "Always huddling together, working on some plot. Or, reading some super boring old books and arguing about the Grumpy Transfiguration Rule, or whatever."
Ariadne had to stifle her laughter. "Gamp's Laws of Transfiguration, Priya."
"Right," said Priya, waving her hand dismissively. "Sorry, but it's not my idea of a great time."
"That's fair," answered Ariadne reasonably. "Well, let's spend time together during some activities of shared interest, like Quidditch matches, or the Yule Ball."
Priya lit up once again at the mention of the ball. "I think Remus is planning to ask me to the ball soon," she said excitedly.
Ariadne couldn't help but smile at her infectious excitement, the way she really liked Remus so much. "How is it going between you two?"
"Well, aside from the same problem we're having with you both being so busy, which means that you might well see my boyfriend more than I do—" (Ariadne looked a bit guilty but understood that Priya was exaggerating more than accusing her) "it's going great. I feel like he really trusts me." Priya paused for a moment, seeming to bask in both the light of the fire and the glow of her romance with Remus. "He's such a mature and responsible guy. And so sweet."
Ariadne privately agreed with Priya's assessment. Remus's calm and composed nature seemed like the perfect complement to Priya's exuberant energy.
"Priya…" Ariadne hesitated. But she decided to plunge forth with her question. Priya and Sophie were her best friends, right? "How did you know you wanted to, you know…date Remus?"
Priya gave her a look that Ariadne had received before, like she was slightly concerned that Ariadne might be an alien who had accidentally dropped down to Earth from another planet.
"Ariadne, I've had a massive crush on him since third year. You know that," said Priya.
"Right, but, having a crush on someone doesn't necessarily mean you want to be in a relationship with them," reasoned Ariadne.
Priya sat up from her cushion so she could wave her bacon to underscore her point. "Um, yes it does? That's what a crush is all about. You like them. You want them. To be you boyfriend."
Ariadne sighed. Sometimes she did feel that her brain worked differently from other seventh-year girls. "But what if you liked them but then find out you're not actually compatible to be in a relationship? Or the crush wears off after you realize that maintaining a relationship with someone is a lot of work?"
Priya shrugged. "Then you stop dating them? We're seventeen, Ariadne, who cares? You're just dating someone, you're not committing to a lifetime of matrimony with them."
"So…when you like someone…you just give it a go?"
"Yeah." There was a lull in which Sophie presented to them her owl Fifi, wearing the pink headband topped with a bow that Sophie had made herself. (Fifi did not look particularly pleased.)
Seeing that Ariadne was still unsure, Priya tried to elaborate. "Ariadne, I know that you analyze the living shite out of every decision in your life before you make it."
"I like to be intentional," Ariadne rephrased, a touch defensively.
"I remember when you wrote pro- and con lists that were four rolls of parchment long just to decide what subjects to take in third year," piped in Sophie.
"Right," said Priya, waving that aside. "But love is one of those things that you can't read, or theorize, or homework your way into the right answer. You have to let your feelings guide you and take a little leap of faith."
"That sounds…terrifying," admitted Ariadne.
"It is!" Priya threw up her hands. "But it's also incredible! It's so much fun, Ariadne!"
"You think it's worth it?" Ariadne couldn't keep a trace of skepticism from her voice.
"Of course! Getting to be with someone you like is the most amazing feeling," she said dreamily. "I mean, what's worthwhile in life that doesn't involve a little risk?"
Ariadne vividly recalled eerily similar words spoken to her by someone else, at a different time and place—a sunny fall day on the Quidditch pitch. She groaned aloud.
"What is it, Ari?" said Priya, now chewing her bacon.
Ariadne sighed. "You sound exactly like Sirius."
Priya grinned wickedly, in another gesture that quite evoked Sirius's manner. "Well, maybe you didn't believe Black, but at least believe the both of us, Ariadne."
In the pause that followed, Sophie asked innocently, "So when are you going to become Sirius's girlfriend, Ari?"
Priya dropped the last bit of bacon she was holding directly into the fire. "YOU'RE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND?"
Ariadne was caught quite off-guard by this explosion of incredulity. "Priya, when did I ever give you the impression that we're officially dating?"
"So you just shag, talk constantly, plan out your shared life ambitions, spend all your time together, and like each other, but you're 'not officially dating'?" said Priya exasperatedly, ticking off the items on her fingers. "For Merlin's sake, Ariadne…"
"We're just…a friends-with-benefits sort of situation, you know?" said Ariadne in the closest to sheepish her tone ever approached.
"Is that why you came back from the Astronomy Tower the other night to the dormitory at three in the morning wearing Sirius's cloak and looking high off Amortentia?" said Priya pointedly, crossing her arms.
"That's why Ariadne was asking all those dumb questions about liking people and getting into relationships," explained Sophie matter-of-factly. "Because she can't decide whether to make it official with Sirius." Sophie's silly, ditzy outer shell could be deceptive, thought Ariadne to herself. Sometimes she saw through situations far more clearly than Priya.
"Well, you'd better get a move on it, Ari! I've been telling Darla Goshawk to keep her smarmy hands to herself because Sirius is taken for weeks! If Hogwarts at large found out you're not actually together, Sirius'll probably drown in Yule Ball invitations before he makes it to the next Potions class!" said Priya, bluntly as usual.
The thought of Sirius going out with someone else truthfully hadn't occurred to Ariadne, and it deeply unsettled her. She had begun to take Sirius's exclusive affection for her for granted. But what if he did go with someone else to the Yule Ball? She couldn't rationalize her feelings away that hard. She'd be devastated.
"But Remus told me," began Ariadne, now struggling with these feelings of hypothetical heartbreak, "that Sirius is totally in love with me. He said he doesn't think Sirius has ever felt this way about a girl before." She paused. "I don't think he'd just go out with someone else.
"Right, but can you expect him to wait around forever for you, Ariadne? It sounds like right now you're having your pumpkin pie and eating it, too. You're getting all the perks of dating Sirius with none of the commitment."
Ariadne blinked. Had she become just as much of a player as Sirius, without realizing it?
"I talked to Sirius about it," she said firmly, trying to justify her position. "He said he was okay with our…situation. And he said he'd be willing to wait for me."
Priya shrugged. "All right, Ariadne. Just know that you can't keep him in romantic purgatory forever."
Ariadne bit her lip. As learned of a scholar as she was, she felt hopelessly clueless about these matters of romance. She had learned a great deal from Priya in this conversation, and Priya was undoubtedly right about most of it. Sirius may be giving her time to think about her stance on dating him, even giving her experiences to try it out, but one way or another, she would eventually have to decide. To take that little leap of faith, or let him go.