Author Note:
Disclaimer/Warning: There is homophobia involved in this story.
If that offends or makes you uncomfortable, you are not required to read this short-story.
Like always there will be blood and possible character death.
Lastly, the line breaks are where I would have ended a chapter. - NightSky
Allegiances (Cats who appear/are there technically)
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MONSTER DEN FRAGMENT OF BLOODCLAN
LEADER: Rose Petal - dark ginger she-cat with golden eyes
DEPUTY: Fern - light brown tabby tom
ADVISOR: Bleu - blue-gray striped tabby tom with white paws, chest, and belly; very pale green eyes
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THE COUNCIL (Cats older than 60 moons)
Haze – pale gray tom with yellow eyes
Spark – reddish-brown she-cat
Sunlight – pale ginger tom with white belly and paws
Raven – muscular, long haired black tom with yellow eyes
Cinder – gray she-cat with deep, dark blue eyes and a splash of white on chest
Stripes – dark brown tabby tom
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FRAGMENTS (Cats older than 12 moons)
Patches – black and white tabby tom
Oak – brown tabby tom with lighter belly and green eyes
Cotton – white she-cat with green eyes
Dew – pale gray she-cat with green eyes
Dawn – light tortoiseshell she-cat
Fly – small black she-cat
Ripple – light blue-gray she-cat with blue eyes
Puddle – blue-gray tom with green eyes
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KIT-WATCHERS (Cats around 30 moons or more)
Eclipse – dark ginger and black tortoiseshell she-cat
Vine – light brown tom with darker brown stripes and dark green eyes
Shine – pale silver tabby she-cat with yellow eyes
.
SHARDS (Kits 12 moons and younger)
Cardinal – russet tabby tom with yellow eyes
Poppy – dark ginger tom with amber eyes
Dusty – light brown she-cat with lighter underbelly and orange eyes
Sunset – soft featured pale ginger tom with blue eyes
Flint – very light gray tabby she-cat with pale blue eyes
Dove – small gray and white tabby she-cat with pale green eyes
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OTHER FRAGMENT-CATS AND SHARDS (In order of appearance)
Jasmine – cream and white tom with frosty blue eyes
Mint - very young blue-gray she-cat with pretty blue eyes
Leaf - light tortoiseshell she-kit with kit-blue eyes
Bush - reddish-brown tom with an unusually fluffy tail
Calling of the Stars: A Forgotten Dawn
Memories, deep and painful, often flowed through his mind. Without much to do like before, the shadows of his past pushed through him. He could remember the darkest things he had ever witnessed to the shadows he thought he left behind to even when he denied himself true happiness until a certain cream and white tom allowed him to finally open up. In the elder's den, the same tom was curled up next to him, head upside down while his body was comfortably curled as he lightly snored. The early morning sunlight in warming shafts through the branches. Love filled Poppyclaw's heart as he felt at peace for the first time in many moons. Taking the time, he looked out of the den's entrance to think and remember of the many losses he had endured; even the time so long ago when he nearly lost himself.
The memories were dark and shadowed, the more he relaxed the more the veil of fog and mist lifted. A seemingly harmless past slowly filtered into view. One that hardly crossed his mind willingly in so long. A familiar pale ginger pelt appeared in his vision looking to a tom who was only a few moons older than Poppyclaw himself. His younger brother, borne of a litter after he turned eight moons old, was head over heels in how much he admired the light brown tabby tom.
Vine, as the light brown tabby was known as, had a gentle and caring attitude towards the shards of the fragment. His dark green eyes filled with a loving warmth like a mother to her kits. He often set up duties for them to do, taking great care to keep in mind of every kits strengths and weaknesses in the process. He helped build them up to become dependable and understanding how to properly do tasks to make others proud of them.
And yet, Sunset was smitten with Vine. He was so young, but crushed on him so hard.
Poppyclaw found the vision fleeting, transporting him to a time that sucked him in far more than he normally allowed. The den's walls slowly vanished, replaced by the sheer cliff-like walls of the Monster Den that he once called home. The scent of the monster's blackened blood filling his nostrils as he was in the stagnant den. His mother, no longer standing in the realm of memory, but before him with anger and hatred in her eyes. Beside Poppyclaw was a slightly older Sunset, innocence and curiosity in his eyes.
An urge filled Poppyclaw, a desire to speak out and change the course of what is now set in stone. However, it was too late.
"Mother, why do we need so many numbers? Surely, it would be alright to let a cat love whoever they love, right?" Sunset asked curiously.
"A tom must have kits so that our numbers grow and we stay safe and even a fight won't rip us into the nothing." She answered harshly, narrowing her eyes.
"Even if, a tom isn't interested in a she-cat?" He asked, becoming a bit puzzled.
Rose Petal scoffed, "What tom wouldn't be?"
Poppyclaw wanted to speak, but his jaws wouldn't move as he watched, knowing full well what was about to happen. He could do nothing to stop the scene, the horrifying memory that crashed through him time and time again. Except, this time he was reliving it.
"Mother, I'm not interested in she-cats." Sunset confessed, "I don't see myself with them like that. Friends, yes; but as a mother to my kits? I can't."
The silence felt as though it went on forever while Rose Petal's movements became stiff. "You don't want a mate?"
"I do, just not with a she-cat."
Poppyclaw felt the pang in his heart all over again. He knew that feeling deep down, the feeling of interest and affection towards anything but a she-cat. He looked at his mother, seeing the burning anger in her eyes. He couldn't speak out, he wanted to, but couldn't.
"And you Poppy? Do you feel the same?" She growled.
"N... no..." He answered, lying out of fear of that look she gave him.
The past was merging into the present to the point he couldn't tear himself from his past. Everything in his body wanted to change the past, but Poppy knew he was helpless to change it. The anger in Rose Petal's eyes flashed back to Sunset and the horrible truth began to take form. He wasn't safe here, not with his secret. He lied and that would only make it worse.
That night, Poppy tried to talk Sunset out of his admission; but the younger tom was adamant. He knew his feelings and there was nothing Poppy could do. Sunset didn't want to live a lie, he wanted to live as he was within his own truth. While Poppy became afraid. Every she-cat and tom who displayed an interest towards the same gender had been forced to leave the fragment. Sunset was so young, Poppy never wanted him to leave before he knew how to care for himself. Poppy, himself, was at least closer to becoming a fragment and thus better off to leave whenever he liked.
Sadly, a few moons later led to the harshest realization of the truth. Rose Petal took them out the moon before Poppy would become a fragment. She led them to the top of the monster den's flat roof. Her golden eyes flashing with hate as she asked the final question. The one that changed everything he had once known for the worse.
"So, have either of you picked a she-cat yet?" She asked, her gaze searching their own.
"I haven't." Poppy confessed softly, "But I'm still looking."
"Very well, search well." She turned her attention to Sunset. "And you? Have you chosen to be loyal to our cause after all?"
"I have found a cat I wish to be my mate." Sunset answered.
Poppy felt his blood run cold, he saw the glint of challenge in his brother's eye.
Why are you challenging her? Do you really think leaving is the best course of action?
His thoughts were whirling as Rose Petal fell for Sunset's trap. "Who is the lucky she-cat?"
"Vine." He answered coolly.
"Vine's a tom." Her expression and tone soured almost instantly.
Sunset looked away. "Perhaps, but it never hurts to ask him. If he says no, then I will go peacefully."
"Bold of you to think you have a choice in this matter." She snarled, leaping at the tom she once called her son.
"Mother!" Poppy yowled, horror striking through him like lightning as he tried to pull her off. "Mother stop! Just let him go!"
Rose Petal whirled around and slammed her paw into his body, claws raking through his long thick pelt. "I'll let him go after I make him see sense! No tom should turn their back on making kits!"
Poppy stared at her, suddenly he felt he was looking at a stranger. This was not the cat he once knew as his mother. She would never be, not after this. His silence and shock stretched on as Rose Petal turned back to Sunset who started to kick and scream. No cat came to their aid. Rose Petal slashed through her son's pelt with a viciousness that shook Poppy to his very core.
She was panting, her dark ginger pelt spiked in aggression as she turned her golden eyes upon Poppy slowly. With a single order, she spoke with a mew as cold as ice. "Finish him, Poppy. Finish him and disown him with me."
His paws shakily moved forward, staring at Sunset who was panting, his eyes shining with pain. His heart felt heavy, a stone was settling in his stomach, and his sympathy had finally run dry. "You should have tried harder." He whispered, half to himself as he lunged for the killing bite.
Did he know how much it pained me?
Did he know how much I wished I could have stopped her?
All this time, we lived in a lie.
A lie that we would be banished for not complying and following our hearts.
Rose Petal never spoke on what happened to Sunset. Simply stating she had taken him and Poppy to train on the monster den's roof, only for a trio of cats to come and attack. She fabricated a story to hide the hateful and disgusting thing she had done. She painted herself as a heroic mother in saving Poppy's life, but was now a mother in mourning for the loss of Sunset. Haze and Spark gave their condolences, even offering their support to her. Even Bleu provided comfort to those who were grieving hard while the kit-watchers huddled together in sympathy.
Poppy had already withdrawn and stared as each cat believed he so-called grieving mother. The following moons had been uneventful. She pestered him over and over to find a she-cat to be his mate. However, he never stopped lying to her; in his mind it was fair to lie in return as he slowly became more and more hollow within his heart. He had been a fragment for four moons when he went out to try and hunt again. His skills had been growing worse and worse, his ability to hunt showing less and less as his mind began to be clouded by his guilt and fear.
It wasn't until he was a good ways away from the monster den that he realized how far he had strayed. He hesitated on the fence, dogs barking in the distance as he left his own little world. His amber eyes searching for a way home. Yet, no where felt like home. He wasn't home for months mentally or physically. Poppy felt so unwelcomed that he couldn't return. He was part of a dark truth and, unlike his estranged mother, he couldn't go on with that knowledge among the cats who believe he was grieving just like her.
He grieved, but not for Sunset. He grieved for the loss of his own innocence. Something that could never be replaced just like Sunset's touch upon the fragment. Not even Vine was the same, meaning he harbored some sort of feelings for the tom. Or perhaps, like the rest of the fragment, they sympathized with the cold-hearted leader's façade. Shadows filled his heart and mind as he went back to walking.
Returning to the monster den would only reopen the wounds, he believed. Chances were, he was better off walking far away and living alone. It was the least he could do after everything that was done. The guilt would remain like the memories he so desperately wanted to run away from. His heart aching for the young tom who stood firm for what his heart wanted. Poppy knew he was weaker than Sunset, so weak that he couldn't dare to find his own happiness. He didn't deserve it.
How could I have ever deserved it?
Sunset never had the chance to have it, so why should I?
Moons crawled by the further Poppy traveled, the season changing into a cold leafbare before he knew it. The cold that dug it's claws through his pelt to his very skin to send shivers down his spine matched the one that clutched at his heart. He hadn't hunted well in so long, his mind often racing against his will and returning to when his jaws clamped on the throat of Sunset to put an end to a so-called traitor of the ways they were taught. Sorrow hung heavy as he padded through the massive garden he managed to find to try and hunt or scavenge for nourishment.
A songbird, he couldn't tell what kind, had been taking its time to peck up seeds that were scattered as an offering from an old Twoleg that had long since left. Poppy felt the hunger in his hollow belly and began to stalk up to it slowly with precise steps. The songbird didn't seem bothered, taking it's time to enjoy its meal. Crawling closer, Poppy tried to get close enough to pounce. However, the bird sensed his approach and, when he hesitated a heartbeat too long, it took off into the air with a powerful flap of its wings. Poppy could only watch in dismay before a flock of pigeons fluttered with the noisy slap and whistle of their feathers. His amber gaze looking into the flock as it left, seeing a cream and white tom with a fat pigeon in his jaws.
Feathers drifted around him, swirling around his paws as he lifted his head quite proudly. Sunlight glinting in charismatic blue eyes that honed in on Poppy. Worry seemed to ripple through the stranger tom as he approached. His tail like a plume of feathered fur trailing behind him. His paws carrying him faster and faster until the tom was a cat-length away from Poppy, his blue eyes round with concern as he dropped his catch at his paws.
"Are you alright? Are you from around here?" He asked, his mew so soft and gentle and full of sympathy.
Poppy hesitated, trying to look away. "I... I'm fine. I've come a long way is all."
"Here, you can eat this, you'd need this more. I can catch another." The tom offered without second thought.
He shook his head. "No, no; I can catch my own-"
"In your condition? Your practically starving-thin! Just eat now to get your strength to hunt and defend yourself." He chided gently, "I'll make sure nothing comes to disturb you."
"Why?" Poppy blurted out, unsure why he was so worried about him.
"Why not? Your in dire need of some help." He explained, already starting to keep an eye out for danger. "My name's Jasmine, what's yours?"
"Poppy." He answered as he finally began to pluck the feathers off the pigeon so he could take a bite.
"That's a very nice name." He purred warmly.
Your name was as beautiful then as it is now.
I never believed I could be allowed to love.
I never wanted to love any cat.
But you changed that,
For the better.
When Poppy had finished eating, Jasmine took him to the Giant Garden Fragment, the place he called home after traveling for some time. From what he understood, Jasmine needed somewhere to call home and found it there. For several moons, they hunted together. The past tried to swallow Poppy's concentration, the guilt of living a life that Sunset could never haunted him; yet, the cream and white tom was so gentle and patient. His mew so soft and warm, full of patience and affection.
Newleaf was warming the land when Jasmine brought a kit home. It was old enough to eat solids, but it was so weak. Jasmine was so loving and caring as he cleaned up the scrap of fur and offered a mouse to help them eat. Poppy kept his distance, afraid to step in, only to see that the young kit still refused to eat. They had been abandoned with a litter, all but they had survived. Poppy knew that guilt and slowly crept closer, a look of sadness was in the kit's eyes as he spoke with great care, hiding the truth of how he knew with vague details.
"I know how you feel." He started, seeing the look of anger and disbelief in their eyes. "I know, how could anyone ever know how much it hurts to see your siblings fade away, right? Well, I had a brother, not as young as you, but he was still my brother. I've had many brothers and sisters, some went out and never came home. I believed they went to better places, but the brother I knew when I was young just like him..." He trailed off, a fresh wave of sorrow gripping his heart and throat for a moment as he closed his eyes in the pain it brought him. "He was with me one moment and I had to watch him leave much like your siblings have. He went out fighting just as much as they had, I assure you. It hurts to remember, it just might hurt always. However, they wouldn't want you bitter and angry about it."
His eyes opened seeing the look of pained awe, the tiny kit sympathizing with him just much as he was to them. "They want you to live for them, live a life that they wanted by doing everything you wish to do. You have a chance to live and keep their memory alive. Never forget that they were fighting to live just like you were. Never forget that they must have led Jasmine to you in their own way."
The kit nodded, finally answering. "Did they really?"
"Why wouldn't they?" He told the little one warmly. "They wanted to live just as much as you did before they left."
His amber eyes glanced up at Jasmine's frosty blue eyes that glowed with a warmth and pride. "Of course they would."
It was then that Poppy knew what he wanted most of all. He wanted to be by Jasmine's side for the rest of his life. The way the tom kept the kit close to his pelt for warmth or even the way he looked at him with such admiration. He was falling, seeing the world in a way he hadn't been able to. Was he allowed to be himself entirely? Allowed to finally be in love with a tom like he had been taught to never do?
.
The kit recovered well enough to play with the other kits while Poppy and Jasmine acted as his parents. Their named escaped him now, which was curious, but not enough for Poppy to mind. What he did remember, was looking at Jasmine and confessing the truth of his feelings. Luckily, the tom felt the same having grown to love him for who he was. Something that Poppy could never be more thankful for. The walls he had fell apart to let the cream and white tom into his heart where he was most vulnerable.
If we had known, we could have tried to stay together.
If I had known, I would have tried everything as possible.
It was a nightmare as Twolegs came with sticks with some kind of vine that became a loop and even a strange webbing to capture them. The Giant Garden was in chaos as cats fled, yowling to loved ones who were ripped away or even as they scattered away from one another. Poppy was separated by Jasmine and the kits they once called their own. A fire burned in his belly to find him again as he ran into the stone alleyways, following the escape route he knew best and winding his way through out of harms way.
Yet, Jasmine was gone, having either fled or been captured. Poppy felt the fire in his belly burn with fear and the painful realization that he may never see his mate again. Sorrow crept through him, frustration racing through him as he tried to find his way to one of the Blood Gathering spots. It would be a place where those of the fragments could find a place to call home until they manage to create a new group or even find their loved ones.
Poppy had walked a long time before taking in a kit named Mint. The blue-gray she-kit was at least five or so moons old. Big enough to follow him, but her eyes hollow with sorrow of loosing her mother and siblings. He tried to hide his irritation of the heartlessness of the Twolegs, but it was so difficult. All he wanted was to keep this kit safe.
Along the way, he managed to find Leaf, an even younger she-kit who was barely old enough to be wandering alone. Mint wasn't too happy at first, but Poppy managed to get the two to behave long enough. He was grumpy, grumpier than he ever had been after losing the cat that was his entire life. Yet, after finding the Blood Gathering everything seemed to be going back to normal.
A normal that soon changed when a leader rose into power by using their age. Cats of other fragments slowly changed their Blood Gathering into a new fragment. A young tom, Bush, began to slip away often a she-cat often staring after him. Their love one-sided and unrequited...
Time's moving too fast.
This isn't real... is it?
"Poppyclaw?" A sleepy mew spoke up.
The dark ginger tom opened his eyes instantly, looking to the cream and white tom not far from him. Frosty blue eyes glinting in the half-light of the den. "Yes?"
"I just wanted to check on you." He murmured. "You didn't seem to be sleeping well."
"Memories." He admitted. "The past haunts me every day."
"It's alright." Jasminepetal told him softly. "Sometimes it sticks like cobwebs and honey, but not all of the memories are bad, right?"
"It reminded me of when we met." Poppyclaw confessed, purring in amusement. "The way you looked among all those pigeons and the way the feathers twirled around you. You were stunning and looking like a proper hunter."
"I've always been a proper hunter." He boasted playfully. "I'm surprised you had feelings that far back. You didn't seem that interested."
"Hard to be when you try to not fall in love." He explained with a stretch.
"Did you still not want to talk about what made you leave your fragment?" Jasminepetal asked curiously.
"All you have to know was, my leader would have been very disappointed that I ended up with you." He explained, not wanting to bring up the full reason.
The cream and white tom rolled his eyes. "Oh no, we're happy and together, such a crime!" He joked.
"I'm serious, she wanted numbers. She was like Fawn, but worse." He explained. "Fawn sets you up, my past leader would have... made you leave."
"Is that why you left?"
"No. She never knew I felt that way about toms." He admitted. "But everyone who did had never returned. I just never know for sure if she let them go as in walking off or in death. And if she did the latter, was she the one to do it?"
"That is tough to say." Jasminepetal murmured thoughtfully, "At least, you won't have to be on the receiving end to find out, right?"
"Yeah." He replied back, settling back down as Jasminepetal got closer to cuddle close to him.
I didn't have to receive it to find out.
That much, I was lucky to never experience.
But I was still the one do it for her.
If I wasn't there, would she have done it herself?
Had she?
When I finally pass on, will that outweigh the good I managed to do?
I don't want to leave Jasmine ever again.
I don't think my heart, even after life, could take it.
Author Note:
It's Valentine's Day, so I wrote about one of my favorite gay couples I ever made.
Poppyclaw always had this lore that he came from a place where he couldn't be himself and he always was grumpy until his other half, his lost-mate, returned.
So, this is the story he tries to hide the best he can out of guilt and trauma.
While Poppyclaw has adopted many kits with Jasminepetal over the many years together, this only covers the darkest moments and the one shred of sunshine Poppyclaw managed to find.
May those in toxic situation find their own sunshine as well.
Have a nice morning, day, evening or night. - NightSky