I'm back! I know it's been YEARS since I've updated this story and I apologize for that.🙏 I'm really going to try and finish every story I've started. Although progress may be slow, nothing is abandoned. I just gotta try to get back into the headspace I was in when I started this.
Every little thing's gonna be alright
Amanda lay in her bed, the silence of the Vulcan night enveloping her. The weight of her thoughts felt as heavy as the gravity of this alien planet. She was pregnant, carrying a child half Vulcan, half human, a symbol of her union with Sarek and of the life they would build together. Yet, the joy of this discovery was shadowed by a tangle of fears and uncertainties.
Her parents were not pleased with the announcement of her marriage to a Vulcan and they'd stopped taking her calls weeks ago, leaving her feeling isolated in a world already so foreign to her. Cassandra was keeping her abreast of the situation on Earth and tried to convince their parents to reconsider their stance, but it was not looking hopeful any time soon. Despite the chaos with her Earth family, Amanda's Vulcan-in-law-to-be were logically gearing up for her joining to Sarek now that it was official.
T'Pau, as head of the clan, had decided that Amanda and Sarek must be bonded in the traditional Vulcan fashion, no quickie Earth wedding would be tolerated. T'Pau was handling all the planning since Amanda didn't know anything about Vulcan marriage traditions. She only knew that during the ceremony T'Pau would join her mind with Sarek's and they would be psychically bonded together forever after. Sarek would then present Amanda to the clan as their newest member. But that was just part of the tradition. There was also the matter of the consummation, but of course, she and Sarek had already taken care of that. The Pon Farr was the most important part of the marriage ceremony for a Vulcan. As far as Amanda could tell, the Time determined whether a couple would make it or not.
Amanda was fully confident that she and Sarek were compatible physically, however, she was secretly afraid of the idea of joining her mind with Sarek's. She was told it was normal, that all married couples were joined in such a manner in childhood, but still, she feared it. She wasn't Vulcan and the thought of having no personal space within her own consciousness, of being laid bare in ways she couldn't yet fathom, sent shivers down her spine.
As she lay in her lonely Vulcan apartment, wrestling with her thoughts, a memory of happier days when she was warm and safe and loved surfaced. She was back on Earth, a child again, nestled in her childhood bed. Her mother was there, sitting by her side, gently stroking her hair after a nightmare. "Everything's going to be alright, Mandy," her mother had said with a smile that warmed her to her core. "Remember, the bravest thing you can do is to believe in yourself, not monsters."
It was a comforting memory that reminded Amanda of the strength she had drawn from her mother's words throughout her life. Believe in yourself. It was those words that had guided her to Vulcan and to a love that transcended worlds and cultures, and it was that strength she would need to navigate the challenges ahead.
Most of the friends she'd told about her marriage already thought she was rushing things for marrying a man she'd known for a year and dated for mere weeks. But when news spread that she was pregnant, all hell would undoubtedly break loose. So far, the only people who knew were Amanda and her doctor. But how long could she keep the secret to herself? Would Sarek read it in her mind when he touched her? Would Sybok figure it out at an inopportune moment and blurt it out for everyone to hear? Most importantly, why is she keeping this a secret? What was she afraid of? What did she have to lose?
She didn't know the answer to any of the questions swirling around in her head, but she was a big girl now, and soon she would be the mother. She had to believe in herself, not unknown monsters. She patted her belly and whispered in the darkness, "I promise you, everything's going to be all right."