A slight drizzle had started by the time they reached the Slat.
Inej stepped out and positioned herself next to the step. Kaz placed his hand on her shoulder, using her to take some of his weight as he exited, avoiding another fall. When he was on the ground he straightened his clothes, raising the collar of Jesper's shirt and his jacket, making sure to hide any visible marks or injuries.
Inej understood the signal, and disappeared into the shadows, opting for her usual entrance through his window. She knew this was something he needed to do by himself. He needed his crew to see the invincible Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel, the victor, the myth. She crawled her way over to a window, gazing in at the scene below.
The room was filled with Dregs members relaxing and drinking. They all paused as Kaz entered. He stood tall before them, observing them, his cane in front of him. After about a second a roar went off in the room at the return of their indominable leader. To them he looked unharmed and invincible, his wounds hidden by his clothes, and his features schooled into a hard mask, hiding his true self and struggle. She saw him deliver a short speech. She couldn't hear what he said, but she saw the effect it had on the Dregs. They were proud to serve under him, and they all erupted into another cheer when the speech ended. She saw him set off for the stairs, leaving his crew behind.
She hurried up to her window, easily opening it from outside despite the lock on it. This was probably the one lock in the world she was more skilled at picking than Kaz. He normally left it open for her as long as he was in the room, but he locked it when he left, knowing she could still enter if needed.
She shut the window behind her, not wanting the damp and cool air to enter the room. She lit a small lamp on his desk, giving the room a soft illumination. She stepped up to the door, unlocked it and opening it, expecting to see Kaz on the steps, but he was nowhere in sight. Anxious, she hurried down to the third landing.
At the bottom of the second landing, Kaz was leaning against the wall, clearly exhausted and in pain. He had fought his way up to the part of the stairs that was no longer visible from the first floor, keeping up an appearance of strength as long as anyone could see him.
Worried, she slipped down to the second landing. She yet again slotted herself underneath his arm, taking some of his weight, and started to push them up the stairs.
At first Kaz had tried to carry most of his own weight, but she could feel he was weakening, and he was leaning more heavily on her with every step. She wished she could be strong enough to carry him, knowing he would have done it for her if their roles were reversed. Kaz would have protested, but she wouldn't have cared as long as she knew it saved him pain, but her small body wouldn't allow it. She had to settle for this, grunting with the effort it took, hoping he would hold on long enough for them to make it upstairs as she knew she couldn't carry him alone.
They made it inside the room, and she managed to nudge the door shut with her leg. "Just a couple of more steps" she encouraged. Kaz looked to be nearly comatose, neither hearing nor seeing, feet barely moving.
Once they were by his bed, Kaz's legs gave out, sending them toppling onto the bed in a heap. She gasped, untangled herself and leaped off Kaz as soon as she could, worried that their proximity would elicit one of his panic attacks. Upon looking at him, she realized she needed have worried, he was out, exhaustion or pain, probably both, finally claiming him.
She climbed around the bed and got in on the other side, trying to manhandle his body so it wasn't lying in an uncomfortable heap. Despite not offering any resistance, his dead weight was hard to shift. She was sweating and out of breath by the time she had arranged him into a somewhat looking comfortable position.
She had hardly slept since the kidnapping, and the days of constant vigilance and fear was hitting her like a sledgehammer. She laid down on the side of the bed, letting her muscles relax into the worn mattress. She would get up in a minute, she just needed to get her breath back.
While lying there she studied Kaz's features. His angular face was slack, but peaceful. No lines of pain or roaming eyes trying to escape a nightmare. She had never seen him this calm, and in truth it felt a bit eerie after what they had just gone through.
She carefully laid a hand on his chest, needing to make sure he was still breathing, still there with her. Underneath her palm she could feel the slow rise and fall of his chest, and the steady beat of his heart. She had been scared she would lose him so many times these last few days. He had tried sending her away, but she couldn't leave him. If he had died because she wasn't there, she would never have been able to forgive herself. She had killed for him, and despite hating the action, she would easily do it again if it meant saving him.
She hadn't lied. He really was her safe haven. Even tough she knew Jesper and Wylan were in the same house, just a few rooms down, she had never felt as safe at the Van Eyck house, as she did at the Slat. Her room at Wylan's was opulent and big, something any girl would dream off, but she kept missing her small hideaway at the Slat, just a small step away from Kaz's office.
If she woke from a nightmare at the house, she would spend the rest of the night starring restlessly into the ceiling, the others sound asleep in a different part of the house. When she would wake from her nightmares at the Slat, she would usually slip down to Kaz's office to see if the light was on. Somehow, it always was, and he was always awake when she came, as if he knew she needed a distraction.
On those night they would mostly discuss work. At least that was how it was in the beginning. As time progressed, the talks became more frivolous, sometimes about something as silly as where you would get the best breakfast rolls. Their late-night talks were those she enjoyed the most. It was just them, no expectations and no risk of interruptions. She would sit in her window or on the carpet, him either at his desk, or in a chair by the fire if his leg was bothering him, until the day broke.
In the very beginning she had feared Kaz, his reputation painting him as a cold and brutal person. She feared his touch and his punishment, but it never came. He had been strict and expected perfection, but he had never once laid a hand on her. Instead, he had protected her, striking out at anyone who dared reach for her, call her names or similar. His punishments were swift and efficient, and all soon learnt to not mess with the Wraith as that meant having to deal with the unflinching vengeance that was Dirtyhands. That was the first time she had started feeling protected in his presence.
Her feeling of safety and protection would continue to grow as time passed by. The small gifts he would offer her, the advice, the fight training, and mostly just him being there for her when she needed him. She worked her utmost to make him proud, make him feel his investment had been good. She loved when she would catch him secretly smiling at her, like the first time she had managed to win a battle against him. She had expected him to be angry for drawing blood from him with her knife, but instead he had just given her a nod of respect, but she had caught the slight smile on his face as he turned away from her. He had been proud that she had managed to land a hit on him, let alone draw blood.
Their relationship may not be conventional, but they weren't either. They both had demons to fight, but had yet to fully divulge their secrets to each other. They never pushed, but was always there if the other needed or wanted to share a small bit of their horror. She had shared small parts of her terrors, how she had been forced against her will, how Heleen had punished her, but never given a fully detailed account. Every time she talked about it, hatred glowed in Kaz's eyes, his body tightening like he needed to kill something. Once he had told her he would burn the whole world down if it meant saving her, and she believed him. Sometimes she longed to let him loose on the Menagerie and the other brothels in town, but she couldn't risk it, knowing that the stadwatch protected the businesses as they viewed them as legal. They would find a different way to stop the slave trade and unwilling indentures, together.
Her breath grew heavier and slower as she slowly drifted away on her memories and steady rhythm of Kaz heart. She fell asleep next to him, swaddled in a feeling of safety.