AN:
Welcome back, Sun! Good to hear from you! Xo
Special thank you to Disgal for your review on Requiem. I am awed by such a big compliment! Thank you so much! Xoxo
The Catalyzer
"She's a beauty!" Sebulba stood, hands on hips, admiring the white Jaguar C-type stored safely in the private repair garage at Watto's motors.
Anakin explored every nook and cranny as he rounded the car, his fingers trailing across the doors... This work of art, a mesmerizing white treasure against mundane surroundings. "Look at what that guy Jango did to the interior. Must have cost him a fortune. How'd he get that kind of money?"
"Trust me, the Hutt's paid him well for it." Sebulba placed a cigarette in his mouth, and Anakin was distracted by the sound of Seb's thumb rolling over the lighter's sparkwheel.
Anakin wondered just how indebted to the Hutt's Sebulba would be now. There's no way they'd give up this car without ensuring it was worth it in the long run. Perhaps Anakin dodged a bullet by not taking their money. It was a stamp of ownership.
"How's Artoo?" Sebulba blew out a stream of smoke from the corner of his mouth.
"Perfect." Anakin smirked.
"Well, now that it's all yours. I say we start using the Jag for work."
Anakin's eyes shot up. "Really?"
"This classic made racing history!" Sebulba pointed repeatedly toward the Jaguar. "Breaking every speed and distance record on its first try. No one can beat you now. Only 53 of these cars were built. And none of them have Jango's tech installed."
Anakin's eyes returned to studying the car. "Can I take it for a spin?"
"Yeah, test it out... You have 24 hours to get comfortable with it."
Anakin enthusiastically held out his hand to grab the car key, but Sebulba hesitated mid-air.
"But remember this is a work car. It's our biggest money maker." Sebulba held the keys hostage as he continued, "Don't eat in it. I mean it."
"Got it." Anakin said, purposely trembling his hand impatiently. But Sebulba pulled back a second time, eyes glowing with suspicion.
"And don't have sex in it."
Anakin rolled his eyes and snatched the keys.
Padme was on the phone with Dorme when she heard the honking of a car horn outside. Loud, obnoxious honking. She hung up and popped her head out the window; and standing beside a white car, making all that noise, was her husband with arms wide open the minute his eyes locked with hers.
"Anakin? What are you doing?" She asked, lost in amazement and incredulity.
"My love!" Anakin shouted out with flamboyant hand gestures. "Forty thousand brothers could not with all their quantity of love make up my sum."
She chuckled, awed by the gesture. "Memorized another Hamlet quote I see... But, honey, you realize all the neighbours can hear you?" She subtly signaled for him to keep his voice down.
"So? That's how we met." A boyish grin took over his face. That smile steals and stops time.
"You. Are. Crazy." Her laugh echoed down the two storeys, enchanting, homely, magic.
It took Anakin some time before he snapped out of the trance. "You coming down or what?!"
Padme rushed down with a flutter in her chest. Anakin was there waiting for her. He stood in that authoritative stance, commanding her interest with an erotic quietness.
"Nice car." She folded her arms, getting a good look at it.
"Nice shirt." He tipped his chin to the flannel shirt she was wearing. His flannel shirt. "Stealing my clothes now?"
"I wanted something loose and comfortable."
"Looks good on you." He winked at her.
"So what's the occasion?" She asked. Her voice bubbly and bright.
"Well, since you like fairytales..." Anakin shoved his hands in his pockets, and after a beat, he said, "I may not be a knight in shining armour with a white horse. But would you settle for your knight in flip flops and a white Jag?"
She had to admit it was romantic.
During her pregnancy she felt the need for stability, now more than ever. And that was the exact opposite of what they had, and it went against every instinct of a mother-to-be. This is the time when she wanted to nest, feel safe and protected... settled.
Maybe Anakin would never settle down. Anakin gave her a different kind of ritual. This kind of self-care involved a free-spirited spontaneity. And the longer she looked at that brilliant blue gaze of his, the more she accepted that they may never have consistency. Maybe his rituals didn't bother her that much after all.
At least I'll never be bored, she thought.
"That depends." She bit her lip, tempted. "Do I get to ride this thing?"
He floated a cheeky smirk. "Me or the car?"
"Both."
Their grins aligned and he opened the passenger door for her. Before getting into the car, her eyes hopped upwards. The cat and mouse game of imagination reflecting off each other's gaze. The unique chase of happiness he never gave up never failed to arouse her. Their passing look was one wild in lust and in love.
We've come a long long way together
Through the hard times and the good
I have to celebrate you, baby
I have to praise you, like I should
The sky had found a colour on the spectrum of red and yellow rays by the time they parked on a mountaintop. The high from up here... The hoax on these hills of heaven make you feel on top of the world. You can no longer look in the rearview mirror when you've got paradise ahead.
"What do you think?" After a quick ride through the town and embarking on an off-road adventure, he wanted her honest opinion on the car.
"It's nice. I prefer Artoo, though." The corner of her mouth rose.
"Me too." He sat back, wrapping an arm round the back of her seat. "This car's for picking up girls. I've got the girl I need." His eyes settled on her lips, but hers didn't return his adulation.
He was forced to tune into her very loud silence. It was beginning to irritate him. "What's wrong?"
She lowered her head and talked with an undertone of melancholy. "I should've been there last night."
He shrugged. "I wanted you there."
She brushed her hair back with her fingers and allowed herself a deep inhale. "It's just. . .I'm having a hard time. Everything's all up in the air. Sola was cheating her way through my life; Sabe's then lying for her. And then you agreed to a deal with one of the biggest criminals – I... It just felt like everyone closest to me was compromising their own morality. I was scared we no longer shared the same values."
"Everyone's just doing the best they can, Padme."
"I know." She assured. "That's why when you told me you didn't take the money, it was a relief. It felt like. . .it's all going to be okay again."
He saw that relief in her soft gaze. She needed some semblance of security. "The only reason I even took the deal in the first place was to make things a little easier for us."
"I know, I know. I just wish you didn't feel like you had no other choice but some seedy business deal." She twisted her body to face him. "Anakin... You're extremely talented and more than capable of succeeding. You don't need them to get ahead. Sure, it might take a little longer without them, but. . .slow and steady wins the race – figuratively speaking." She smiled sheepishly.
He nodded, having come to the same conclusion. The large sum of money in the envelope Sebulba handed him would've made success come quick but it would cost him for cutting corners. The longer, harder path to success might be less appealing, but it was worth the peace of mind. "Well, turns out you were right. I had another option... I got a little raise instead."
Her longing heart eased up. "Thank you. . .for finding another way... And thank you for being patient with me. I know I've been a little. . .hormonal."
"You're carrying my kids. You're allowed to be as hormonal as you want." He faced forward and began to count on his fingers, "You can be unreasonable, impatient, stressful, annoying–"
"–I get it!" She held a hand up to interject and he laughed.
"I'm kidding. You've been amazing. You don't have to do anything. You're doing more than enough." He rubbed her belly tenderly, comforting the three of them at the same time. "Although–" He paused and she saw a glimmer of mischief. "There is. . .one thing you could do for me."
"What's that?" Her lips slowly curled at the ends.
"Come here!" He grasped her arm, stark and pertinent, and his vein running across the muscle in his caught her attention. He pulled her onto his lap and adjusted his seat horizontally for more space. But there was no space between their glorious smiles as he cradled her face. He dragged her face to his, and his tongue in her mouth was the perfect promise. His kiss covered her with a high. It was everything she loved about him — powerful, passionate, and most of all, intense.
"What if someone sees us?" Her words of concern couldn't cast a shadow over her wide grin or the fact that her knees were happily hooked to his sides.
"No one's coming here." He grazed a hand up her dreamy thigh.
She was looking at him with blushing cheeks and adoring eyes. A woman is most attractive when she looks at the man she loves. And when she looked at him like that, he felt twisted around her finger and helpless when she kissed him back.
He began unfastening one button of her shirt after the other. With each fall of his hand, she had this excruciating inner cry for the tip of his fingers to touch her skin directly. And he did. He slid his hands in and unhooked her bra. It was one that unhooked from the front. Finally, he witnessed the miraculous design of her breasts, the supple, round flesh fuller since her pregnancy. He had buckled under, going mad for a taste. His needy mouth on her nipple made her weak, sending a spray of sizzling air touching every nerve. Her head tilted backwards and her hair fell down her back which he cradled with big, not-so-innocent hands.
The catalyzer that inspired them both to lift and heave their chests with a visceral need, to be great lovers in exchange for this feeling. A feeling of hot skin and tormented groins. The feeling created in this very space is a love given, expanded, and nurtured. It is the home of love. It is the garden, the dinner, the flowers, the prayer of two becoming one. It becomes clear to both of them that this was the foundation of marriage – love and forgiveness.
And they're always willing to forgive if it makes this unspeakable stroke of pleasure last longer.
They drove back down to the main road as the sun began to set. Their hair tangled and skin sweaty... unapologetic about their satisfaction. It didn't matter that she hadn't buttoned her shirt up correctly or that her underwear was somewhere on the floor of the car. Only delightful sounds of peaceful, satiated minds remain. Everything else washed away in a basin of their love-making; stress was swallowed by the kiss their bodies shared when they were both curled up in the driver's seat.
"Let's take the highway! Over the bump." She suggested but he didn't seem as keen. He remembered the first time he showed that steep slope to her. It was the first time they picnicked in the back of his truck and he laid his soul bare. He told her everything, about his mother, his father. It was also the first time they had sex in a car. "Come, on. It's so much fun!"
He chuckled, shaking his head. "We can't go over that bump while you're pregnant."
"Don't fly up in the air or anything, just down the slope."
He gave in to her childlike enthusiasm and warned her to make sure her seatbelt was tight before he turned the car in the right direction. It was worth it when he saw her light up. Happiness oozed from the ground as the tires slid down the slope fast. Mountains became miniature dots on either side of the road and wind couldn't catch up. All they could hear was the pitter-patter as grains of sand hit the windshield. This was his happy place, driving with the wind in his hair... where life is its most fun... and she's by his side.
Until an abrasive shriek, a sound he never wanted to hear, shouted out of his wife's lips. It was the sound of fear and horror. "Look out!"
Flashing lights of a red vehicle winked over his pale face as it rammed into the side of his car. The crash had him clinging to the steering wheel to stop the car from spinning round. His grip rooted him to the ground beneath them, holding them down like flowers attached to the same stem, sealing the earth's collective fate.
His mind spun out of control once it stopped. Everything stopped. There was a delay in his ears. The sounds, the screams, the cars screeching took a beat to resume.
"Are you okay?!" Anakin reached an arm across Padme to stop her from falling forward when the wheels jerked forward a final time.
She nodded, trying to catch her breath. "I'm fine."
Before she could ask him how he was feeling, he practically pounced at the man in the other car. The door slamming shut behind him made her jump. She ducked her head to see better, and through the window Anakin had dragged the other driver out the door and locked the man in the narrow space between himself and the car.
She had never seen Anakin like this before. Eyes curving into darkness. His yelling is in a voice unrecognizable. She couldn't make out a single word, though. The only noise blaring in her head was riddled with shock. He never talked that way in front of her. Whatever he pulled or peeled from a pot of emotions, he never let himself roar a sound so harsh to her.
She had never seen him that angry. She had never even seen him in a fight. She hadn't realized how quickly he'd leap to fight. She tried to think back to a time where she might have turned a blind eye. But all she could remember was his race against the Tuskens. The crowd had blocked her view that day. But even then, she didn't see what she saw now. Maybe she didn't want to see this. That he'd choose aggression over negotiation. To see that he could be venomous to others. His gnawing eyes and heart glared with violence and volatility. His hands gripped the collar of the man's shirt so viciously, wanting to squash him like a bug.
She rushed out of the car. "Anakin! Let him go."
The repercussions of his temper flaring only hit harder when he saw her running over. He didn't want her to see the state he hides in the blackest corners of his soul. Too many fears lie there.
"I'm sorry, I really am." The man, who looked about the same age as Padme, turned to her the minute he was free from Anakin's clutches. "I'm an intern at the hospital. I don't even have insurance. I just worked a full shift, I must've fallen asleep at the wheel!"
"It's okay. No one was hurt." Padme puffed out a heavy breath. And the man nervously seized the opportunity to flee.
Padme noted Anakin's slow, stomping feet leading him back to the Jaguar to observe the damage. The car's polished white paint had been scratched through over an indefensible dent.
"Great." Anakin hastily waved a frustrated fist and cursed under his breath. "And you let him walk away!"
"Ani, what you were doing is not the way to handle it... You were more likely to spend a night in jail."
Anakin swerved in her direction faster than the car had spun earlier, feeling sick of her ability to calmly gloss over this. "What if something happened to you?! Huh?"
She then saw so suddenly the true pain that clung to his angry voice. His mother's death flashed before his eyes, and he thought his wife and children were on their way to join her — caught up in all his painfully alive choices.
The stronger the love, the stronger the pain. And not a day passed when he could stop worrying about whether there was a right choice. Would there ever be a day when the right choice and his desired choice were one and the same? He always convinced himself that the right choice was whatever he wanted at the time.
"I'm right here." Her tone changed, trying to melt the fear away. Her warm hand graced his cheek, a saving grace, nature's melody. Peaceful as crunching leaves beneath your feet, water ripples of the ocean, singing birds and a source of light meeting your open eyes to the morning.
"Come on, let's go home." She said soothingly, encouragingly, taking him by the hand with her warm, connecting energy.
Praise You - Fatboy Slim