Chapter 29

Lucas caught a glimpse of something from the corner of his eye, a fleeting memory from his past that he didn't quite grasp hold of before it was gone. Mrs Winters was giggling like a schoolgirl as he whirled her around the kitchen, surprising him with how light she was on her feet and the ease with which she followed his lead.

"You are quite a dancer," Lucas commented. "Have you been hiding this talent from everybody here?"

"My Bert was the one who was really good. In our courting days he always took me to the dances whenever any travelling musicians were in town. We won a few competitions back then but after we married the children quickly came along and it wasn't so easy. I haven't danced at all since he died. It's nice to know that these old legs still have it in them!"

Their laughter rang out, the sound of two friends enjoying something together and no-one seemed at all surprised. Then suddenly Mrs Winters gave out a shriek and slipping from Lucas's hold she darted sideways, almost knocking him to the ground as she reached for the pot of potatoes that was threatening to boil over on the stove. In an instant she was back to being her normal bustling self, tut-tutting under her breath about how silly it was to let a handsome young man turn her head like that. "Out everyone," she shouted in a bristly voice, "Everyone out of the kitchen. Christmas dinner will not cook itself!"

While all the other adults had been watching the dancing shenanigans in the next room, Nathan had been studying Mary's reaction and immediately knew there was something going on in her head. He was hardly an expert on women but if he was to hazard a guess he would say it had something to do with Lucas. Had this woman been hurt by him sometime in the past? Something he could be called out on now? Or was it another thing that was going to rear its head and put a halt to the personal progress he seemed to have been making in recent days? He hoped not and decided perhaps if he could nip the problem in the bud and deal with it then it wouldn't impact on the joyfulness of the day.

Calling out Mary's name quietly so as to not make it obvious to others that he wanted to speak to her he thought at first that she hadn't heard him. But he realised that she was simply putting the baby into his cot before turning to ask, "Do you need help with something Constable?"

She walked across to him and he could see that although looking a bit perplexed she didn't seem to be upset. Perhaps he had read too much into it and wondered if he should still say something.

"No, I am fine, thank you. And please call me Nathan. Forgive me if I am being rude but I sensed a change in your manner when you went to look at what was happening in the kitchen. Almost as though you recognised something. Or someone."

She gave him a timid smile but even that small change in her facial expression told him that there was a quite beautiful woman hidden under the misery that she wore like a cloak, wrapping it around herself and her daughters as though she didn't know how to divest herself of it. "Memories, Nathan. Of a time long gone and a life that now seems an eternity away. That is all."

Nathan nodded his understanding and then indicating the chair across from him he simply said, "I've been told I am a good listener. It's part of Mountie training but I think it has more to do with having grown up with a sister who never stopped talking."

She laughed properly then, feeling herself relax in his company. "And now you have your daughter Allie. May I ask what happened to her mother? Your wife?"

Nathan didn't usually like to talk about Colleen with strangers but in this instance he had the feeling that it might be just the thing that would help Mary open up with her own story. "Allie's mother was my sister, not my wife. She died when Allie was four. Until yesterday Allie was my niece but I finally did what I should have years ago and officially adopted her. She has been my daughter in every way but name for the past eight years so it was long overdue. She called me a tortoise for taking so long and she is probably right."

"Children do have a habit of seeing things in black and white, a bit like the little boy's declaration just a while ago. You seem to have a special bond with him and, I'm guessing, his mother."

Nathan smiled at the mention of Elizabeth, no longer bothered that everybody could see the love he had for her. He had spent so long hiding his feelings that now he would be happy to shout it out to whomever would listen. If anyone here was still in any doubt he hoped that what he was planning to do later would set them straight. Even so, he found himself a little embarrassed by her words and running his hands through his hair to hide his discomfort he muttered a quiet, "You could say that."

"I'm happy for you Nathan, I get the impression that it hasn't been an easy journey for the pair of you but as my husband used to say, true love is always worth fighting for."

"Your husband was a very wise man Mary and I am sorry for your loss. I imagine life has been difficult for you and the girls since his passing but I have a feeling that you may find things improving from now on. When this family of people opens their arms to someone they do it wholeheartedly and will never stand by and watch someone struggle, particularly one of their own."

She smiled again then and this time it opened up her face even more as though a beacon of hope had been lit inside her. "I won't deny that I could do with some help but I will never be a charity case. I believe in working for what I get or finding a way to give back. I can see you have taught your girl about kindness and sharing and that is what I am trying to instil in my two. I was brought up with a lot more than they have ever had but it was never taken for granted. Something I learnt the hard way when it was all gone in an instant."

"Was that when you knew Lucas Bouchard?"

Nathan knew it was a risk asking her that question but the opportunity couldn't be wasted. The recognition he saw on her face when he said the name gave him his answer. Now he needed to find out what history there was between these two people.

Lillian came to the doorway at that moment, ringing the bell to announce that the food was ready and immediately all the children scrambled for the tables, adults standing beside each one to direct them to where they were to be sitting. For once there were place cards in front of each setting, positions having been thought about carefully by Lillian and Grace to make everything run as smoothly as possible.

Nathan was to sit at the top of the main table, Lucas having checked earlier that his wheelchair was able to slide in underneath, which freed up a chair for someone else to use. Abigail had come to check that he was happy with this but the minute she saw the big grin on his face when he realised his girls were placed on either side of him she knew that what he sat on was not important at all. Little Jack was squeezed in between him and Elizabeth, who had Mae Watson on her other side, Mary and her youngest daughter Beth sitting opposite beside Allie.

The remainder of the main table had the Scott children along the bench seats with Abigail and Bill on chairs in the middle. At the other end was Mrs Winters who needed to be able to get up and down easily to check on the fruit pies that were baking in the oven and for her having little Bessie in her high chair beside her was all she needed to be happy as she had formed quite a bond with the pretty toddler. It was going to be difficult when the time came for her to say goodbye.

The rest of the children were divided between the two small tables, with Gabe and Lillian at one and Lucas with Grace at the other. This was certainly a different experience to anything Lucas had experienced before and not what he had envisaged for a family Christmas when he offered to drive Allie through here. If he was honest, Little Jack hadn't entered into his thinking, he had more an idea of a special meal for two in mind. Yet here he was, sitting at a rickety table that he had put together himself which was then covered in a linen bedsheet, on a bedroom chair barely large enough for his bottom. And he was loving every minute of it, even when they all seemed to use him for comedy relief.

Nathan cleared his throat to get everyone's attention but the sound was lost in the babble of excited voices. Only when Bill tapped the side of his glass with a spoon did everyone stop talking. Except Susan, who believed that the conversation she was having with her doll was far more important than what the adults had to say.

"I hope nobody minds me jumping in here to say a few words before we say grace," Nathan began, "but I have so many reasons to be grateful to all of you, not the least of which is the fact that I am here at all." He couldn't look at Elizabeth or Allie as he said that, not wanting to see the pain that would undoubtedly be showing on their faces at the reminder that they could have lost him. "It has been quite humbling over the past day or so to reflect on what everyone has done to help me recover and I just want you all to know what it means to me."

As he spoke he moved his head around to include everyone in the room, letting them know that they were important to him. Chairs had been turned so that all eyes were watching him and as he contemplated this first Christmas for Allie and him with Elizabeth and Little Jack, something he had dreamt of for so long, he knew he wouldn't have it any other way. "I know we are a bit of a motley group gathered here, rag tag my mother would call us, but there is something strong that binds us all together, something so special that many people search a lifetime to find it and quite often fail. That something is true love for and from your fellow man. There are families here in different forms, soon to be families and others who were almost strangers not so long ago. I see the friendships forming between the youngsters, faith and hope being refound by adults, optimism for the future and the loosening of ties with those parts of the part that have held us back. But most of all I see love and I thank God that he has made me a part of it."

There was a solemnity to the room but not of sadness. Everyone, even the children, seemed to be thinking about his words and how much they shared his sentiments. Gratitude floated in the air like a cloud between them as eyes seemed to be drawn towards someone who meant all of this to them. It was once of those moments when time stood still.

Then suddenly it was gone, baby Simon hitting the edge of the table with his spoon as if to ask, "Where's my food?"

Very quickly ashettes piled high with slices of turkey were brought through and set on the table along with plates of vegetables, roasted potatoes and sauceboats full of rich smelling gravy. Little hands that started reaching forward were quickly stopped and squirming children were told to sit still for a few minutes longer. Lillian waited until everyone went quiet before she began, bowing her head with a look at the children that said they should do the same.

"This is a poem I remember our father, Grace's and mine, would read at the table on Christmas Day. That is, until we lost both him and our mother so suddenly. It has special meaning to us for that reason and sharing it with you, our friends, will only add to that. It was written by a man called Robert louis Stevenson, a Scotsman just like Megan's family who taught her mother to make that special toffee. I think that at least a couple of you may have received a book that he wrote last night from Father Christmas."

She looked across to the big table until her eyes found Joe. "Treasure Island was one of the most wonderful books written by him and I know you are reading it already because I could see the torchlight still shining under the covers when I checked on you all before I went to bed last night." Joe was about to begin telling everyone how exciting the book was when a nudge in the side from Chloe reminded him what they were in the middle of.

"And I heard Grace reading to Penny from A Child's Garden of Verse this morning. I remember it from my childhood, The Land of Nod being my favourite poem in the whole book."

Now she paused as they settled down, her expression emphasizing to the children how important it was to be quiet in this moment and only when the whole room went silent, even the babies, did she begin.

Loving Father, help us remember the birth of Jesus,

That we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and the worship of the wise men.

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world.

Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting.

Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be your children,

And the Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake.

Amen

Lucas was surprised that even for a non-religious man as himself the words carried so much truth. He looked around the room at the people who had shown him nothing but forgiveness and understanding over the past few days, forgetting his actions towards Elizabeth and the way he had behaved so many times in the past. Nathan is right, he thought, it is not just time to loosen those ties with the past but to cut some of them off completely.

There were things he had done of which he wasn't proud, people he had treated badly who hadn't deserved the pain he had caused them. That Lucas Bouchard was no more, from now on he would strive to be a better man. Be more like the other men in this room who unquestionably put others before themselves. He looked across to where Nathan was sitting, hoping that the signs of friendship that had been extended to him earlier were something that would continue for he knew that this was a journey he could not take on his own.

As his eyes moved back along the table he spotted her. The woman with the two daughters. There was something familiar about her face, about the way she held her head as she listened to the young girl beside her, the way she spoke with her hands.

Then suddenly his past came crashing down in front of him as he remembered.