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CHAPTER 10:
Judgment

As the yacht sailed through peaceful ocean waters, Trunks found himself ensnared in the tempest of his own emotions, submerged among churning waves of nausea.

Doubled over the ship's railing, each heave was a painful confession, an agonizing acknowledgment of the betrayal that had plunged Trunks into an abyss of self-loathing and despair.

In the moments between retches, Trunks gasped for breath, each intake painfully thickened by the weight of his regrets.

As Trunks continued to be sick off the side of the ship, reeling in the shock of his despair, he had not noticed that Gohan, Piccolo and Pan had also been outside, by the rear of the yacht.

Gohan had escorted Pan to the rear engine to shield her from the raised voices. Piccolo was accompanying them while Videl was still inside, trying to calm Chi Chi.

For a while, they had been watching the wake of the ship, and Pan was laughing about all the waves, and wanting to learn how to boogie board.

Gohan and Piccolo had been chatting about old times, and Pan's general training lessons. Piccolo, who had been training Pan since she was three, was in the middle of advising Gohan that Pan should start to consider mixing up her training regimen to lean into some of her Saiyan heritage, since she was growing old enough to start trying to become a Super Saiyan; after all, Goten had become a Super Saiyan when he was seven, so in theory, Pan might be able achieve something like that starting within the next few years.

Gohan had expressed mild doubt, telling Piccolo that Pan was born without a tail, and he wasn't sure what that would mean for her ability to transform.

They were trying to keep their minds off of the events happening inside.

Upon hearing the sounds of Trunks being sick overboard, Gohan had turned his attention to the side of the boat, where he saw Trunks looking tremendously ill.

Pan pulled Gohan's leg and said they should check on Trunks.

Gohan agreed, and so they made their way over, with Pan in the lead.

Trunks' face was flushed with red eyes and tears, and he looked pale and stricken. Gohan recognized the signs. It was clear that Trunks was emotional about the fight inside, and had gotten seasick.

Gohan asked Trunks if that might be the case - that he might be seasick.

Trunks, dumbstruck, and with a lack of any other explanation, looked at Gohan with his wet eyes, and agreed it must be. He liked how it was a good cover for his emotions, and simple enough to not raise many questions.

But then, Gohan offered a completely logical solution for Trunks.

As a friendly gesture, Gohan summoned Kinto'un as a seat for Trunks to ride on. After all, it would give him some respite from the tossing and turning of the boat - at least enough for Trunks to hopefully get over his nausea.

Trunks took one look at Kinto'un and felt lead drop in his stomach.

Trunks tried to get out of riding it.

He poopooed it, and said his illness "was nothing," and that Gohan was making a bigger deal of it than it deserved.

But Gohan insisted, since it was clear that Trunks' body was still jerking and heaving.

Trunks tried to come up with another excuse, and said he might feel better if he just went to the center of the ship, but Gohan pressed, saying it was no problem at all; it was clear how Trunks was sick, and the events inside would only raise his stress.

It was just too logical. Trunks couldn't turn down the offer.

Gohan was right there. Pan was right beside him. Piccolo was watching.

Trunks felt he couldn't back down, especially considering how sick he had been. He was cornered.

Six year old Pan, who was always enthusiastic around Trunks, tugged on Trunks' jeans, laughing and asking if she could "ride on Trunks" while he "rode the cloud."

Trunks laughed with wet eyes and nervous laughter as Gohan laughed along.

Trunks wasn't sure how he felt about this. Something about this felt wrong, and he couldn't place what.

Pan tugged again, wanting to ride on Trunks.

When Trunks bent to pick Pan up, he paused when he saw the innocence in her eyes.

The purity of Pan's intention to spend time with Trunks in this way was so beautiful and sweet. It shattered Trunks' heart, that such a pure-hearted person like Pan could ever want to touch him.

Still, Trunks couldn't help but find solace in Pan's big, pleading eyes.

Trunks hoisted Pan up and over his shoulders as she squealed a laugh.

He enjoyed hearing her laugh; it made him feel for a little bit like there might still be hope for Trunks to be seen as someone good.

If innocent Pan could see him as good, then maybe he wasn't such a bad guy.

And then, with a leap of faith, and with all hope in his heart, Trunks jumped onto Kinto'un, with young Pan on his shoulders, in front of Gohan and Piccolo.

It was almost like time passed in slow motion as Trunks made contact with the cloud.

In its slow movement and low sounds, Pan's laughter rocked sound waves as she grabbed his hair and kicked her legs slowly outward.

Trunks slowly arced downward toward the cloud.

-BZZT-

A question popped up, as a silent voice in his head.

The question asked if he had been true to Goten.

Trunks knew that he had not.

In that moment, there was a -ZAPP-, a lightning bolt of judgment.

Kinto'un parted its vapor particles as an exodus from under Trunks.

And Trunks dropped like an anchor.

-SHOOOOOOOO-

-OOOOOOO-

-KPOW!-

Trunks took the hit as he crashed down on his rear and then flopped front-first.

As Trunks face-planted forward, Pan squealed and rolled off of him in a somersault, "Eeeee!"

Pan then landed on her feet as if she had done a gymnastics move. "Tadaaaa!"

Pan raised her hands up and giggled and bounced her feet back and forth as she turned to see Trunks facefaulted, "Hahaha! Trunks that was fun! Let's do that again!"

As she laughed, Trunks realized his face was on the floor.

He raised his head, slowly, as his shocked eyes traced up Gohan's form.

Trunks propped himself up on his arms as his widening eyes rose to Gohan's chest, and then to his face…

Then, his wide eyes met Gohan's eyes.

There was a moment of acknowledgement.

Chi Chi's voice screamed inside Trunks' head, throwing insults and daggers about his betrayal.

Trunks' eyes grew turbulent as they remained locked on Gohan's.

He heard the screaming. He heard the wailing.

Pan's laughter continued as the waves lapped against the boat.

Gohan's wide eyes betrayed an inner thought. Yet… he said nothing.

Trunks' eyes widened even further when he realized what happened just now - the true judgment that had unfolded.

Kinto'un had cast its judgment.

Kinto'un rejected him.

Trunks couldn't ride Kinto'un anymore.

His innocence was gone. It was over. He was no longer pure hearted.

He had done Goten dirty, and now Trunks was tainted.

The evidence just fell right in front of Gohan.

Trunks' eyes darted to Pan, and then his eyes turned to Piccolo, who was still watching from the rear of the ship.

Trunks felt his heart race and his breath quicken as he realized the meaning of this.

Of course Pan would be laughing right now. She was just a kid, and she didn't know any better. She just thought everything was a fun game.

Pan didn't notice how Trunks faced inner despair. She simply leaned down to take Trunks' hand, trying to help him up.

Trunks barely even noticed. As Trunks stood up, looking as haunted as he felt, he looked back to Pan. She was asking him to take her down to the amusement area with her, and to show her some of the "funnest games."

Her eyes were sweet, and innocent, and pure as she held Trunks' hand with both of hers and clasped it, eager to play.

Trunks slowly brought his eyes back to exchange looks with Gohan.

And then he saw the look in Gohan's eyes.

It was… disappointment.

… tick … tick …

Gohan's traditional wristwatch kept the time as the two held a long, and understanding gaze.

The disappointment etched across Gohan's face deepened as his eyes seemed pained.

Gohan's stare shredded whatever composure Trunks had left.

Trunks felt naked, exposed, and terrified.

Trunks knew he had been caught. Gohan was Goten's brother. Of course Gohan would tell Goten that he couldn't ride Kinto'un anymore. Of course Gohan would try to protect Goten from Trunks.

Gohan was going to turn on Trunks. Gohan was going to side with Chi Chi.

"Pan," Gohan said as he kept his eyes on Trunks, "Go on back to Piccolo. I'll join you shortly to show you around."

"Aww," Pan seemed disappointed as she let go of Trunks' hand. Trunks barely even noticed. He felt like a deer caught in headlights, and was too frozen to plan his escape.

As Pan skipped back to Piccolo, Gohan's facial expression shifted. His eyebrows furrowed into a look of consternation, and it appeared like he was going to say something, but then he held his words back.

As Gohan hesitated, his look softened. Then, he spoke.

"Do you… want to talk about it?" Gohan offered.

Trunks panicked as he realized that everything was over.

Everything felt like it was collapsing in on Trunks at once.

Trunks felt like he was melting down from anguish. He wanted to cry, and to rage, and to hurt, and to be hurt.

He was discovered. It was all going to be over. He was going to lose Goten. He was going to lose Gohan. And then… and then his mom was going to know. And he would have lost everything… everything…!

"Ahh…" Trunks' eyes stung as his head spiraled and his body felt sick again.

He didn't want Gohan, or Pan, or Piccolo to see him anymore. He didn't want anyone to see his face anymore. "I-I- I gotta go."

He didn't even know where he'd go, but he knew he had to get away.

He jerked his hand away from Pan's and turned away from everybody, feeling flustered, embarrassed, and overwhelmed.

In a daze of his emotional unrest, Trunks had torn himself from the deck, away from Gohan and everyone who witnessed his shame.

Trunks rushed off to the nearest bathroom.

He slammed the bathroom door shut behind him and locked it. He panted hard, hyperventilating in the small space.

"Hah… hah… hcc–... hah… hah…" Trunks breathed, and hitched, "Hcc-... hah… hah…"

He spun and looked at himself in the mirror, and he couldn't even recognize himself anymore.

Trunks kept seeing a monster.

He kept seeing a beast, an ugly face, an unworthy grotesque and traitorous friend who deserved no love.

Trunks thought back to Gohan's disappointed expression. The image was burned in his memory. He vividly replayed the moment over, and over in his head.

The image spun, and spun, and blurred as a whirlwind of despair.

Trunks' gut reeled again.

Clutching his mouth, Trunks fell to his knees and crawled and lifted the lid of the toilet and was sick again.

He heaved, and heaved. He was a fucking mess.

His gut couldn't subside. He felt everything breaking around him.

Flushing the toilet and struggling to breathe, Trunks put down the lid, and brought himself to the sink to look at himself again in the mirror.

He was atrocious. He was every bit of ugly that his father told him he was. He was just a fucking accident. It would have been better if he had never been born.

Trunks wailed as he wanted to die. He wanted to just vanish, and never exist again.

Trunks cried out in the mirror, hating every part of his reflection. He felt his anger manifest in his fist, and with a scream, he PUNCHED the mirror, cracking it into a distorted spider web that reflected all of his lies and deceit.

Trunks cried to his many hideous reflections, among the remaining shards of the mirror.

He wept for his innocence.

He cried for how he disappointed Gohan.

He wailed for how he'd been hurting Goten.

Trunks shifted to sit on the lidded toilet, and hunched, propping his elbows on his legs as he covered his face and wept.

And he wept… and he wept…

Kinto'un judged pure hearts… and Trunks lost his.

Havana had corrupted him.

Trunks knew he lost his innocence the moment he decided to follow Havana into her house, and dance with her in bed.

Trunks was disgusted with himself. And he was even more disgusted that he had somehow been attracted to such a wicked girl.

In the process of everything, Trunks had failed to protect Goten from dating her. Trunks knew she was a bad egg and never raised any flags to Goten.

She snuck up on them both so slyly that she had normalized all of her behaviors under their own noses.

He saw now how Havana had impacted both the families just from being introduced to Chi Chi.

The families had no idea how deep the scandal truly went…

… And Trunks was terrified of them finding out.

Trunks knew that if word got out that Trunks had been with Havana behind Goten's back, everything would escalate and explode beyond control. It would involve both families. There was risk of there being a fall-out.

He needed to protect the families.

Trunks needed to keep the secret, to protect his loved ones.

The families could break up over something like this.

Trunks didn't want the families to break up because of him.

He couldn't let the families find out the truth about Havana, or else he'd be the reason everything would explode…

And once it all exploded, he knew he'd lose Goten.

He didn't want to lose Goten. He would fight to keep Goten, even if it meant to keep a secret forever.

If no one ever found out, then no one would get hurt. The spiral would never manifest, if he just stayed silent.

He would just bottle it up. He would just set it aside. He would move on, and learn, and be done with it.

Trunks now saw Havana for the sea serpent that she was, and her chapter in his life was over.

He was emotionally checked out.

His time with Havana was done. He would quit Havana in solidarity.

There on that ship, at that time, as he stared at his many reflections of his monstrous image, Trunks decided he would change to be better.

He was a monster, but monsters could still be good.

Trunks knew that Goten deserved better than this. And Trunks knew that he could be better than this.

Trunks meant it to himself when he said that he chose Goten first. He would always, always choose him first.

Today had been the reckoning that Trunks needed to realize the error of his ways, and he had learned.

He would use this to grow, and eventually redeem himself in Kinto'un's eyes. Today he would turn over a new leaf.

Even though Trunks couldn't tell Goten the truth, Trunks was going to fix things.

He would look out for him. He was going to make things right.

Trunks was done with making wrong moves.

Trunks was going to be good.

––––––––

At some point several intense hours into the boat ride, it was clear that Goten and Chi Chi were unable to reach any kind of compromise or resolution.

By the time the sun was setting, Goten decided he was done. There was no way that he could reach any kind of resolution with his mother.

Worn, frustrated, and angry, Goten decided to straight-up abandon ship with Havana.

With Chi Chi trailing behind him spouting her words, Goten stomped out of the cabin, leading Havana by the hand away from the group.

"Kintoooo'uuuun!" Goten called for his cloud, and the little orange Flying Nimbus whisked over to the side of the boat.

Before Goten could jump on, though, he hit a roadblock.

A shadow stood between Goten and Kinto'un.

It was Gohan.

With a stern voice, Gohan told Goten he needed to "to stay and talk." Gohan admonished that he hadn't had a chance to talk to Goten yet, and he "wanted to have a word in private."

Goten, at this point, was beyond reasoning, and he just wanted "out."

In his defiance, Goten picked up Havana bridal style at the surprised shriek of everyone who was watching, and then with a challenging glare, Goten flew her away, jetting off like a distressed superhero with his damsel, not even bothering with Kinto'un.

Before that moment, Goten had never told Havana that he was able to fly. She squealed in shock and glee the entire way back to shore.

Goten was angry, and frustrated, and dispirited, and fueled by rage and a sense of rebellion. He knew he should have been given more choice - more agency for who he could date. He was mad that his mother couldn't respect that he was now eighteen. She still didn't even realize he had his inheritance, or else she'd have been even more violent on the boat.

He was tired of his mom holding him back. He didn't want to bend backwards for her anymore. There had to be boundaries of some sort, and she was unreasonable. He had hoped that by turning eighteen, it would help fix her expectations from him, but she was now more inconsolable than ever.

Goten felt should be able to date whoever he wanted. He just wished his mom could respect that.

Now that Goten had agency over his life, he tried not to care what his family thought.

Of course he did care, though… but he kept trying to compartmentalize his thoughts.

Havana kept telling Goten to forget about his family. Maybe he'd be better off as a pirate. Maybe he could run off with her. Maybe they could even get married.

Goten knew he had a lot of choices to make, and soon, and Havana was showing signs that she was ready to take the next steps in their relationship.

Goten disregarded all of his mother's conspiratorial accusations. She didn't know Havana at all.

The only one that could really convince him out of dating Havana would be Trunks. Only Trunks knew her just as much as Goten did. And if Trunks approved, then Havana was fine.

Now that he was eighteen and had some money, Goten could also take Havana out for a good time.

Havana had been requesting a certain kind of "good time" lately, and especially now that he was feeling super defiant of his mom, all he wanted to do was to process his energy physically. Maybe it was time to take it to the bedroom.

Goten had been holding off because he wanted to do everything right. But now everything was going wrong.

What Goten did know was that Havana had a box of condoms hidden in her purse, which his mother never discovered.

Havana had gotten a room for them for the night - a surprise she told Goten about, but which he also kept under lock and key. He shared that information with nobody, not even Trunks yet.

Goten didn't want even the slightest risk of his mom finding out before the party.

Tonight, regardless of his mom, he was going to celebrate being eighteen.

This was going to be the night he would finally sleep with Havana.

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