Darkness… thats the first and last thing people see… the first of life and the last of death. It graces you, it surrounds you, it holds you, and its always there even as you sleep. It's what everyone fears, the forever darkness, the end of everything. He found peace in it, no more pain, no more agony, and no more betrayal. At least the darkness will never abandon you, in the end, it's all there is. The beginning, end, and everything in between. Being swallowed in the darkness. Forever floating, feeling numb, the lack of air you breathe being the only pain that remains but after what felt like an eternity, he got used to it. The only indication that he was still alive in the void, his power being the only thing keeping him alive. All he had left was to think of his life. All there ever was, to be who he is now…Who he used to be… he was a god… almost a king… a brother… a son… maybe not so much as he thought. All of it, turned out to be a lie. What he believed was his life was actually just a shitty surprise wrapped in a pretty gold bow. He was probably better off not knowing the truth, maybe things would have been different. Maybe he wouldn't be floating in the abyss.
He was Loki of Asgard. Key word… WAS. He was of Asgard, then he finds out he was actually a Frost Giant. Taken from Jotunheim before he could die from being abandoned by his REAL Father, King of that realm. He was taken by the King of Asgard no less, raised as his own, and hidden from the cold truth. Forsaken by the irony for the truth was cold… He was raised to believe he would be king someday. He never wanted the Throne to begin with but they shouldn't have led him on with false hope all his life. Like it really would have all been his, if he was chosen. But that day was never going to come… Was it?... definitely not… who would want the one enemy their people always held such hatred for, ever get the chance to sit on that throne?
It was cruel enough that the reality was that your father wasn't your father, neither was your brother, and even your moth-... no… Despite all that, he would never think of Frigga as anything less than his mother. She was kind and compassionate, and was there for him always. No matter what, She will forever be his mother.
He killed his real father, Laufey King of Jotunheim, he wouldn't say it was for revenge. He did live a good life despite the lies. He guessed he did it for the sake of making Odin proud… What good did that do though?… He didn't make his real father proud, he was just birthed into the world and he threw him away for being a runt. Any emotion he felt withered in the blackness, but hatred still clenched his jaw and grinded his teeth at the thought. He was never even given a chance.
He had to thank Odin in a way, he wouldn't have been alive if it weren't for him… but still.. to believe he was meant for a Throne, to believe everything he was raised to believe, to believe in himself as someone good and just… only to find out it was all a big lie… when his life was a lie… What else was there, what more was there to prove? How could he be better than Thor, now knowing he was nothing but a monster? It was better to just be a monster then.
All Loki ever tried to do was to make Odin proud of him. Was it too much to ask for him to just say once 'I am proud of you, my son.' Being the second son, always in Thor's shadow. He felt he was never truly good enough. Only now he realized it was all because he wasn't even his real son, not even an Asgardian. Just a monster… hiding in plain sight amongst the people of Asgard.
Last thing he remembered was letting go of Odin's scepter. To make Odin proud, he attempted by obliterating the enemy and ending a war. Destroying the whole realm of Jotunheim in one course of action.
Unfortunately, Thor stepped in and ruined those plans entirely. Making Odin favor him once again, he looked to his adopted father full of pride… Only to see the look of disappointment in his eye… he thought it was best to be rid of the monster… and let go... but even that he failed, he still holds onto these emotions, and he keeps on living. Why even hold on? Climb back to Asgard just to be thrown in prison, that was no life worth living.. considering he had nowhere else to go, he figured his own exile would serve him best… Especially if he died in the process. … He was meant to die, the day he was born… it was long overdue… maybe finally there will be peace.
Then there was light, suddenly he was engulfed in it. Burning in embers and ashes as his screams die out in the loud blistering vacuum. He felt the weight of gravity pulling him at exhilarating speeds, drowning in his pain, It was too unbearable. Then finally, it went black once again.. Was this finally death? Was this what it felt like? A loud crash being the last noise, then silence.
Some time must have past. He came to, with blinding pain.
Everything was a haze, everything hurt, and everything was too damn bright. He tried to open his eyes to see his surroundings but that God forsaken light from above shined too bright to even make out where he was. He guessed he might as well use his other senses, to find the answers he seeked. He heard bugs and birds first, then leaves shaking in trees, he felt the breeze on his skin that shook the leaves he heard. He also felt what seemed like blades of grass that brushed between his fingers. After concluding he was obviously in a forest next was to remember how he got there. He remembered his name obviously, so he didn't have amnesia.
Thinking back… Blackness, self wallowing, then burning… so was he sucked onto a rock. Which planet? What realm did he stumble upon? It obviously has life, so its inhabitants will most likely not be pleased with his presence. Especially if they know him… hopefully they don't.
All his streaks of failure and he even failed at death. He might as well figure out what's going on.
He was feeling the pain in his back from the landing. It was better than floating in the darkness of space till he died of whatever could kill him first, whatever can kill a God. Obviously not plummeting into an atmosphere.
It could have lasted for an eternity in the darkness for all he knew… an eternity in no air, life, or light. Sounds almost peaceful but maybe too good for a beast… Maybe he wasn't meant to die, maybe just to be a burden elsewhere.
He was getting tired of pondering his purpose or punishment for being alive. Maybe he was better off just… living…
He finally was able to adjust his eyes to the light, the sun was directly above him. So it must have been mid-day, wherever he was. He looked around, to only see tall grass from where he was on the ground. He moved to sit up to see above the grass. He winced as the pain shook through his movements, clutching his hand on his ribs. They were most likely fractured, if not broken. He must have been a little more durable than he thought. Coming through the atmosphere and hitting the ground would kill someone. He got out of it with only a sore back and broken ribs… and a headache. He reached for his head to find no bumps or fractures, only cuts on his face.
Once he was able to fight through the pain and fully lift the top half of his body, he looked around once more to see he was in a large meadow. He looked to his left to see some trees were smashed or leant over with a creator path that went down the hill, big enough for a body. That explains the cuts and the headache, he wiped out a few trees… with his face…
He must have rolled the rest of the way into this meadow. He was startled by a sound not far from the crash site. He only saw a flash of white as the bushes rustled, then they stilled in silence. He painfully got his body off of the ground and stumbled over to the bushes. Parting them with one hand with the other on his torso trying to relieve the pain in that area. He saw nothing, no footprints, no pawprints, no one to be found. He looked back into the meadow as it seemed there were no paths in or out, to indicate there was anywhere to get out. Just tall hills and trees. Except ahead past this bush, there was level ground and a path. He concluded it must have been his instincts that showed him the easier way out. Though as to why he imagined the bushes shaking, he guessed it must have been from hitting his head on the trees. A little pre-trauma hallucinations. That or it was a creature of some sort, with no feet… the head trauma was making more sense than his second idea. Then again he didn't know what realm he stumbled into that had a stranger reality than his own.
He decided nothing else was more important than getting out of there. He followed the path, stumbling every once in a while leaning his weight onto the trees closest to him. Then finally he couldn't stumble onto any trees, he was in a clearing and the ground was more level then any dirt path. He looked down to his feet to see a gravel road. He saw it was a one way path, leading from both directions into… noothing... So, he was literally in the middle of nowhere. Fantastic...