Chapter LXXVII: Flashes

"So, if it's not some kind of divine punishment," Yugi mumbled, watching Atem closely as if he thought he might disappear should he look away, "then what did happen?"

Atem hesitated to answer, watching him in turn. Then he glanced over his shoulder toward the entrance where Yami still stood before the grieving parents. He tilted his head, then sighed as he turned back. "I don't know," he grunted finally. Yugi searched his face, but he had the feeling it was to make sure he was not about to make a run for it. He seemed satisfied just to have Atem look at him, and the feeling made him queasy all over again.

Yugi truly was the best mate he could have asked for, yet he still couldn't wrap his head around it all. Yugi had lied to him. He'd helped Yami stage his own death so Atem wouldn't follow him. It had cost Timaeus his life, no matter how short a time it was, and he'd been in the dark about all of it. The intentions didn't justify what he'd done, however.

It still made Atem angry. It still made his insides sting with betrayal.

He still couldn't look at Yugi without a sour coating on his tongues. His stomach ached as he looked him over. It didn't matter it had saved him. It didn't matter that it had saved Yami.

He'd lied to him. He'd intentionally kept him in the dark about everything.

Atem looked away again, eyes on Yami where he continued speaking. He couldn't hear them now, but he wasn't trying, either. The sound of their voices carried, and no one seemed angry. He turned back, curling his lips to show the ridges of his teeth when he found Yugi still watching him. He had the impulse to snap at him, to spit and hiss until the Gandora turned away.

Everything inside of him ached, and it was all the worse for the fact he just wanted to curl up and lay with the very dragon that had caused it.

He huffed and turned away. "Stop staring at me."

"Sorry." He definitely didn't sound it but Atem wasn't about to call him out on that. Instead he bristled and snarled softly when Yugi stepped closer. "Look, Atem, I apologize for lying to you. I know my saying so doesn't change that it happened, nor does it make you feel better. But I am. I'm sorry for lying. I'm not sorry for saving you, or Yami. If I had to do it again, I would. Like I said. The world could rot as long as you're okay at the end of it."

Atem wasn't sure what to say to that. The sentiment would have been shared earlier, but his anger reared its head more than he could argue against. Now he just felt sour, and resentment came in a flash of heat, not unlike lightning.

I should have known better.

He shouldn't have trusted him so wholly. It was always bound to turn bad. It was why he'd only ever trusted Timaeus before. No one else had proven themselves, and now the only other one who had…

"You can apologize as much as you'd like," he spat, "and it still won't change anything."

Yugi nodded slowly, as if he'd expected as much. "Stay angry as long as you'd like. I'll still be here when you decide to forgive me."

"You speak as if forgiveness is something I've ever given," Atem snapped. He bristled and stared, fighting the urge to chomp his teeth when Yugi watched him silently. It felt almost mocking, as if Yugi were teasing with that much patience in his expression. And why shouldn't he? Atem wasn't capable of forgiveness and the very notion set his temper toward the surface. "You're brave to suggest you know better than me what I'm capable of."

Yugi shook his head. "If you can never forgive me, that's okay, too. You're alive. That's why I did it. That's what I got out of it. Punish me however you see fit from there."

Atem bore his teeth. "And what if I wanted your life in payment?"

Yugi snorted. "You can have it." He shook his head. "You are my life, Atem. I know you don't believe me—especially now, after all that's happened, but it's true."

He wished so badly that he could sense some kind of falsity in his expression or voice. He wished more than ever that Yugi had a disloyal bone in his body to justify the sheer rage he felt. But there was nothing. Yugi wasn't lying. And Atem may have been angry, but he could not discount that fact. Yugi had always been honest but for where Yami's death was concerned. It may have been the one and only time he'd ever heard the Gandora lie to him in any manner malicious. It may have been with purpose and he may not have meant it any way but for saving his life, but Atem still could not justify it in his mind.

He was a hypocrite. He would have done similar if Yami had come to him, but…

"Would you be so angry in my place?" he demanded, flustered despite himself. "Would you be as angry as to want to strike me down in my place?"

Yugi studied him a moment. "Atem," he said quietly, "you're entitled to whatever you feel. I don't have the right to tell you yes or no about it."

"Answer me."

He fell silent for a long time, then chuckled mirthlessly. "If I were in your place and I'd suffered as much abuse as you have and I only trusted three dragons in my life, yes, I'd be angry, too. I'd be hurt and confused and angry like you are. I'd be angry enough that I would want to strike them down, yes." He blinked and shook his head again. "So, if you don't think you can forgive me, then strike me down. Otherwise…"

Atem stared at him, considering for a moment. Forgiveness did not come naturally to him. It was a foreign concept, like the very idea of being a deity despite allowing others to call him that. The few times he used it, he meant to scare or intimidate or make another realize who they were about to challenge. It was meant to make them rethink or to solidify their resolve when they chose to face him.

He tried to think about it, picture striking Yugi down. But the image failed to form in his head and the hurt seemed impossible to shake. Atem blinked and fought aside the surge of anguish to watch him more intently.

"I don't promise forgiveness," he said slowly instead, turning away.

Yugi was quiet for a long time. "I know. I don't expect it, either." He paused and Atem wondered for a moment why. Why didn't he expect it? Why didn't he fight for it? He knew Yugi wouldn't force his paw at anything like that, but he still almost wished he would. Things would have been a thousand times easier. He almost wished someone would have guided his paw to accept that this was something that had to be done.

He wouldn't have believed anyone to tell him that, however.

There was always a choice.

Yugi had made his, and so had Yami.

It had caused ramifications that seemed more or less to echo about them now.

Timaeus had been attacked to lure Atem out rather than Dimitri following Jaden to find him in his own territory.

"If you forgive me later, I won't abuse it. But I still don't apologize for saving you, just that I hurt you doing it." Yugi looked back toward where Yami still stood. "Yami told me once that you would have chosen me over him. I didn't really understand that until he showed me what would happen if I didn't do this. It's hard to admit, but I would have chosen you, too. I wouldn't have chosen him over you, even though I feel like I should have."

Atem blinked, startled.

Yugi turned back. "I love you more than anything. I'd offer up this world and any other to ensure you were happy and healthy. Even Yami doesn't… If I had to choose, it'd be you." He smiled slightly, sad and tired. "Just… I just wanted to tell you that, in case you decide I'm not worth forgiving."

He opened his mouth, then stopped short. Yami slipped between them like liquid, sighing softly as he padded to the center of the den and turned around with a small shake. He took a seat after a moment, turning to Atem.

"I don't think Seto knows, but Malik sought protection from Leviathan. He's in the western region, waiting for either you and Jaden to go to war or for you to go after him. I don't know why he assumes either, but…" He fell quiet for a moment. "Atem, if you go to war with Jaden, my only request is you not kill him. Don't strike him down but to slow him. Everything still hinges on the four of you surviving to the end of Dimitri."

He scoffed. "Why are you all so sure I could kill him anyways?"

Yami smiled and shook his head, eyes glittering. "Because you're a thousand times stronger than you think." He searched his face. "And when it all comes together, I'll explain everything."

Atem snorted and shook his head, ignoring the way Yugi watched him so intently. "If you say so," he dismissed. "I don't know that explanation works for much in light of things, Yami."

"No, consequences abound and the truth is harder to come by," he agreed, sounding exhausted. "But if there's nothing else I can say, it's that I need all five of you."

"Five?" Yugi mumbled, sounding bewildered. "Atem, Leviathan, Jaden and Yusei… That's only four, Yami."

Yami laughed and looked at him. "You're just as necessary as the four of them."

Yugi frowned and gave him a skeptical look and Atem considered the expression for a long moment. Why did he seem so surprised? Yami would have said something of that manner no matter what, wouldn't he? He would want the two of them to remain together, close even if they were not emotionally bonded as they had been before the truth came out. Lying to Yugi now wouldn't change much but to ensure he didn't give up on Atem earlier than necessary.

Yami blinked and turned to him with a horrified and disgusted look. He opened and closed his mouth, then sighed loudly and shook his head. "That's not it. That's not it at all. I…" He turned to Yugi. "You have your work cut out for you."

Yugi blinked and glanced at Atem and back. "Yeah. It took him over a year to even say he cared about me more than in passing thought," he commented, though his voice seemed oddly fond. "I shouldn't be surprised he's so distrusting of me now. Although, I wore him down once; I'm sure I can do it again."

Atem bristled and ignored the warm look Yugi shot him. "What do you see of the future, Yami?" he spat. "Would you like to offer him false hope?"

The other red male blinked and looked over, more startled than horrified as he had been formerly. He blinked again, tilting his head, and murmured, "I don't have hope to offer that isn't real. And I don't think myself false in saying there's potential to heal from this. I give no promises of anything, however, as I don't know that much of the future. It's small and limited to me and you are too tumultuous to gather insight on." He smiled again. "You never make up your mind so fully that it cannot change later. I cannot see your future as you're suggesting, regardless of how you feel now."

Atem tried not to snarl with irritation. What use was foresight if it was so limited? The ability itself would have been useless to him no matter what, but the fact that Yami had it and it was so fickle was infuriating.

"Limited ability or not, I'm glad you have something of it," Yugi murmured, and Atem noticed his voice was forcefully bright, "because it's gotten us this far."

Atem bristled and for a moment thought to snap at them and demand when they'd gotten together to discuss it. But he understood immediately after. Yugi meant saving them from Dimitri prior. He looked over, annoyed. "When did you run off from Jonouchi? It must not have been long before we visited him."

Yami tilted his head. "It was about two moons prior." He blinked. "I went to the village beneath the mountains immediately after."

"How long did you remain with them?"

"Almost three moons, but one of them showed me Timaeus fighting Dimitri and I left them to see him. From there I waited until I saw him safely placed with the Wind Clan and then I came here to check on you and prevent further bloodshed." He paused, sighing softly. "I hope Timaeus isn't too upset with me not checking on him after I shared my heart. It wasn't meant to be dismissive or anything. I just…couldn't afford either of you seeing me before."

"What changed?"

"Dimitri."

Atem blinked, processing the thought and glancing at Yugi sideways. The Gandora had turned away at some point, watching Yami intently once more. It made him feel both relieved and disheartened somehow.

"Can you see his decisions often?"

Yami shook his head. "No. I don't see him at all. The human saw him. He showed it to me and I came to save Timaeus. It wasn't within my scope of ability to see him. I assume he's a blind spot to me, as Atem is to the others."

Atem suppressed a snarl. What use were any of Yami's abilities if they all lacked the strength to hold against Dimitri? If he was still blind to him as everyone else was, how were they to find him? Yami was the only one who could likely find him if he were to try, but…

"Have you actively sought him out?"

Yami looked away. "Once," he admitted, "when I was still with Jonouchi. But it wasn't visible to me. I couldn't see him."

Something about the words made Atem bristle. He couldn't detect why and his mind raced to understand, but there was nothing. He suppressed another snarl. "So, he could be under our beaks and we wouldn't know."

"Yes. Unfortunately my abilities are limited in regards to him."

"Who can you see clearly?"

"The other three God Dragons." Yami grinned, snickering. "You, in the present. I can't see your decisions made in the future, but I can watch you the moment I focus on you."

Atem snorted. "What good that does you," he scoffed.

Yami laughed. "It does me a lot of good, actually, Father. It means I can find you no matter where you go should I need you."

Atem wondered at the silence to follow that statement. Something about the words seemed heavy and loaded, as if Yami meant something else altogether. He wondered abruptly what he'd used the ability for prior, if he had at all. How long had he watched Atem do things? Had he seen anything of what he'd sought from Yugi's mother or Honda in the meantime?

"I don't do it often," Yami said gently, and Atem wondered when he'd thought so loud as to welcome the Uria into his head again. "I can find and watch Yugi more easily than I can you, but I don't even do that anymore. It seems almost a waste, honestly."

"How so?"

"Yugi isn't…as strongly influenced by everything as you are. Dimitri isn't tied to him in the same manner. He's extended family, not flesh and blood. In that regard, it's easier to check on you through him. I don't get…sudden flashes of things that could happen as often."

"Sudden flashes?"

"Depending on the course of action someone takes, their future changes. Things in my head change as quickly as their minds do. Dimitri doesn't have a strong sense of direction but for causing chaos and conflict. Because of that I can't see him clearly at all times. It's harder to match his location and how far his influence reaches because of that."

"And Atem?"

He glanced over, bewildered for a split second. Yugi couldn't be comparing him to Dimitri. That was beyond cruel.

Yami snickered. "Atem changes his mind on the spot so quickly that he's impossible to track. His choices are influenced by whatever he feels inclined toward at that moment. He's not reliable in the sense that he chooses a path and sticks to it solely. His instincts influence a lot of his choices and because of that I cannot read his interactions and decisions so easily."

Yugi glanced over and back. "So, if you can't see him, odds are neither can Dimitri."

"Likely no," Yami said quietly. He searched Atem's face when he turned back to him, and the God Dragon wondered what it was he might be looking for. "I think you're the blind spot to everyone, including me where it comes to future decisions. The small flashes I see are usually in relation to Yugi and your mind changes so often I have no chance of determining what you'll do. That means if Dimitri is limited to decisions made to see the future as well, then he can't see you. He might be able to spy on Yugi, but you're a significant blind spot. And I don't know that he can even see Yugi because the other three can't."

Atem tilted his head and sighed. "If the future all depends on the whims of others, why are any of them visible to you at all?"

"Most dragons make a choice and stick with it. They'll strive toward one thing in particular. Jaden hopes to prevent war, Leviathan strives to keep the Clan in one piece now, and Yusei hopes to keep anything of Sartorius's magnitude under wraps. You… Well, you just seek to survive. There is no one thing you strive for constantly but for survival and to do that, you change and adapt every moment of the day. Yugi's only goal growing older was to court you. Now he just wants you happy and healthy and to remain by your side. Because of that, his decisions run alongside yours, and that makes him a blind spot for the other three."

Atem felt his eyes wide to twice their usual size. His hearts pounded a moment. So, Yugi was only a blind spot to them because he remained with Atem. He'd suspected as much when they'd first discovered the apparent weakness. But the confirmation made his entire body feel wired with tension.

"What about Jaden's influence over emotions? He couldn't affect Yugi then, either."

"His emotions are geared towards you. It has the same effect in a way. Jaden can't influence him because his emotional stance depends upon you most often." Yami tilted his head. "Most of Yugi's focus goes into you and making sure you're happy and healthy. It's simple minded and it's pure. There's no…false emotion or thought process for Jaden to latch onto and influence."

Atem glanced at Yugi sideways. The Gandora was respectfully keeping his eyes on their son rather than even looking at him. Atem stared for a long moment, drew a breath, and then huffed, "I suppose being obsessed with me comes with benefits."

Yugi snorted and Atem smirked. Yami snickered and turned away.

"You wished to show me more," Atem prompted, tired. "What else did you wish for me to see?"