Friday 7:04 AM
Blaire mill High School
Maryland
Eloise
Carmen has been my best friend (only friend) for about 3 years now. We met on the first day of high school, 9th grade, we were standing outside of our school doors about 7 minutes before they were to open. I remember she was wearing black jeans and this floral blouse. She had red converse on and her hair was down and flowing in black curls around her head. It wasn't necessarily messy hair but it wasn't the neat hair you'd expect someone to have on the first day of school. She was smiling brightly at everyone the wires in her braces were shining from the sun beaming down on them. She looked like and angel.
She doesn't have braces anymore I know that because she feels the need to tell me a bout it ALL. THE. TIME.
"Eloise?"
I jump. I had forgotten that this year we have first period together. Last year we only had one together, and it was 5th period. History.
"Hmm?"
"Whats the homework tonight? Mr. Mercer had said something about the writing assignment?"
"Oh yeah. All you have to do is get your topic approved and write the first 2 paragraphs."
"Alright. Thank you Eloise, but um I was wondering if you might want to come over tonight? I just need some help with my assignment but also my mom got me this new projecter and we could watch Spider-Man? The tobey maguire ones."
"Sure! I Will tell my mom."
I go red thinking about spending the night with her. We're in 12th grade, and yes Carmen is already 18 because she was held back in preschool but that's not the point. We are old enough to yk...
Chapter 2
Remember I've never written before so if you have tips/ constructive criticism it is very much appreciated!
~~~
At Carmen's house*
Eloise
I knock twice, with a spring in my step. I'm already blushing and I haven't even seen her yet. Somethings got to be wrong with me.
"Hi Eloise! Come in we can have some frozen pizza I'll go put it in the oven."
She turns away and walks towards the kitchen leaving the door propped open for me to come in. I walk in and head towards the kitchen where Carmen is sitting at the island waiting for me.
"Once this pizza cooks... in about 10-15 minutes we can head upstairs into my room and put on the movie."
"Okay thanks." I say awkwardly as I sit next to her. Carmen looks beautiful in the evening light, her curls in a slicked back bun, and large golden hoops. It's crosses my mind that maybe I should have dressed up more than just some sweats , but we've known each other for years so there's no reason to dress up. Is there?
15 minutes later*
The timer for the pizza goes off but we didn't really need it since the delightful scent filled the house. Frozen pizza is seriously underrated. Carmen pulls on some oven mitts and takes the pizza out of the oven careful not to burn herself. Eloise grins at the scent of the cheesy treat.
"Mmm it looks so good. Let's go up now ok?" She starts running up the stairs with the pizza heading towards her room, her hair bouncing on each step.
God she's gorgeous.
~~~
in her room*
They have finished the pizza and are now chatting about how handsome Tobey is in this movie. Carmen turns to Eloise.
"He really does look like a teenager in this movie. If I were MJ I would be all over him!"
They giggle and continue too watch as Peter punches flings Flash across the hall. They both gasp and snuggle against each other.
This simple act reminds me of the first time we watched this movie. We were only 8 so we were blushing over Tobey just as we are now. Nothing has really changed except for my growing feelings of affection. That summer we had become closer than ever before.
That summer was the summer my dad had died. My mom single and pregnant and we didn't have a ton of money. Before she had met my stepfather, Juan we were broke and living in crappy motels. My father was caught in a shoot out that I was too young to understand. I was so angry at the thought I would never be able to see him again, hug him that I started rebel. Me and Carmen would ride our bikes for miles all around town. Of course my mom could never know this so we told her we'd go to the pool. One day however, we had come across a tree house. We made the treehouse our own little hangout, away from the cruel world. That day changed everything for me, my whole world.
ten years earlier*
We were in the tree house working on a comic. I was the writer and she was the artist.
"Carmen I finished chapter 5 can you go over it and draw it?" Carmen was so focused on her current drawing that she only nodded.
"Ellie I made you a present!" She took out a stack of paper from her backpack. On the paper was their very own comic about their adventures and Carmen made it for her. Surprised and thankful I took the comic and read through it.
"Thank you so much I love it!" I grinned wildly as I clutched the gift to my chest. She blushed and smiled back at me.
Chapter 3
Eloise~
I admire her beauty in the moon light. The warm tones in her skin contrast against the now gray light. The sheets ruffle with the refreshing breeze. Crickets serenade the night as branches graze against the glass of the window. It seems as if she can sense my admiring gaze. Her eyes flutter open, her eyelashes casting shadows across her face. A look of confusion crosses her face as she processes the time.
"Couldn't sleep? Do want me to go get us some tea?" I nod thankful for the friend she is and cuddle back into the sheets.
I hum happily as I wait for her to return. As usual the eerie night, brings back some memories of my late father, and how I won't see him again. Tears make paths across my cheeks staining them with a deep, unexpressable sadness. My feeling make me rot from the inside until I am just a shell of who I used to be. No longer the happy little girl with out a care in the world, a girl who doesn't know how cruel this life actually is.
Carmen~
As I fix the tea I smile to myself, reminiscing on days of laughter and shared secrets. I decide to double check the doors making sure they're locked as I head upstairs. The wind swirls around the house, whispering unheard words and cooling my face. Through an open window I watch the stars and the moon, bringing light to the otherwise dark earth. The soft sounds of classical music plays in distance. The music fills my ears, airy but so wonderful it seems to drag me back in time. To a time where I was at my happiest, where I was always with Ellie.
I remember climbing the creaky wooden ladder, The scent of summer pine. Our laughter echoing throughout the treehouse, bringing joy to our dull lives.
~~~
"Ellie come over here and help me with this drawing!"
Eloise scrambles over giggling. Her eyes catch sight of her drawing and she sits down.
"What do you need help with? It looks amazing already!" She exclaims, her eyes take over the girl on the paper that Carmen brought to life.
Carmen blushes red. "I just want you to help me add some stuff like should she be apart of our comic?" Eloise nods in excitement and grabs a pencil of her own. She sketches small stars that encircle the girls head. She struggles to hold down the paper as the wind tries to steal it out of her grasp.
"I think that... she should have super powers! Also what is her name?" Eloise questions. Carmen thinks for a moment before speaking. "Her name is... well she looks kind of like you so how about we go for something similar? Maybe Ella!"
"She does look a bit like me. I like that name." Eloise runs her finger over the drawing thinking. Without a word she starts to draw birds and all sorts of woodland creatures around her.
"My favorite princes is Aurora so she should be similar to her! I wish I truly could communicate with animals." She frowns as she speaks. But after some thought she decides that's not realistic and she shouldn't fret over it.
"Mine is mulan! I think she's beautiful and so brave!"
~~~
I miss when things were so simple, to worry about drawings instead of grade. Instead of what people think of you.
Eloise~
When Carmen came back up with the tea I could see a hint of sadness in her expression. As soon as it came it was gone, back to her usual expression of dazed content. However I forgot to wipe the signs of sadness of my cheeks.
Carmen~
Eloise is obviously crying and I worry for her. I sit down on the bed next to her and look into her almond eyes that hold so much sadness in them. Too much sadness in fact, I fear someday it will overwhelm her and she'll.. I don't even want to think about the possibilities. I don't even think that she realizes she's crying as I don't see anything change in her face.
"Why're you crying Ellie?" I do my best to console her, I rub her back in reassuring circles. She doesn't say anything back and just looks down into her lap. Tears drip down her cheeks In smooth paths. I reach out for a hug, breathing in her floral scent. Hugging Ellie isn't rare but for some reason it feels different, it feels real and I don't know what this means. All I know is that I love her with all my heart and couldn't bare to lose her.
~~~
Sorry the chapters are so short I'm new at this.
Chapter 4
The next morning
Eloise and I had fallen asleep in a comfortable embrace, her chin atop my shoulder and her hand in mine. Holding hands with your best friend isn't weird or anything but, in the moment, I was bright red and had butterflies in my stomach. We woke up like that, positions slightly different but similar non the less, she had stopped crying of course and I could only hope she'd tell me why.
She snakes her hand around my waist pulling me closer to her. We're now face to face and her breath tickles my cheek. I blush at her proximity; I don't even think that she realizes what she's doing as it seems to have no effect on her. As I watch her the light from the rising sun brings out the highlights in her hair. She looks almost ethereal, a goddess walking the earth.
The morning messes with my head, making me think unnatural thoughts she's my best friend nothing more. Right? We can't be anything more even if I wanted too, it's weird and my mom would murder me. I'd bring shame to our family name, but the question that nags at me,the question that's hidden under the surface is; would I care? Would I care if my family detests me, if people at school give me dirty looks, is my social appearance more important than my feelings? My feelings that are just begging to come to the surface, to be known and acknowledged. All these contrasting thoughts are slowly killing me from the inside and dragging my mind away from the fact that I love Eloise, and nothing can stop that.
6th grade*
"Carmen your disgusting! lesbians deserve to go to hell. Haven't your parents ever taught you anything?" Her face contorts in disgust, she reacts as if I've just spit in her face. Embarrassment and Anger pulse through my veins. She stalks off to no doubt laugh with her friends. It was Valentine's Day; I brought a box of chocolates and a heart shaped envelope with a confession of love in it. I wanted her to be my valentine I didn't care if she was popular, and I wasn't I thought she was beautiful.
Id watches her talk with her friends every day at lunch, jealous of the fact they could be so close to her. Sharing secrets and crushes, giggling to one another. They had everything I didn't, ivory skin straight teeth, money. Her. Her look of disgust as she shoved the gift back at me, her words filled with hatred and humor at my expense felt like a punch in the got. And reality is ill never be pretty enough, skinny enough, I'll never feel true love and that stings more than anything else.
My sweater does nothing to keep me warm on the way home that day. The chill of unspoken truths keeps me shivering as I try not to cry. But even with my strongest protests tears well up in my eyes, threatening to spill. The first cold tear drips down my cheek and many more follow. My eyes sting as the cold winds blows against my face.
The wind whispers in my ears echoing my thoughts, telling me things I already know.
You're disgusting.
Mom will kick you out if she ever finds out.
No one can know.
No one can know...
~~~
My fears overwhelm me as i stare at the door, the door that leads to my parents. My catholic parents who frequently go to anti-gay protests. The parents who believe being gay is a sin that leads you directly to hell. I face my fears and stick my key into the lock.
Twist. the door unlocks with a loud click that resonates in my ears.
I slowly creak open the door and school my face into one of content.
"Hi honey how was school?" My mother asks with a smile.
"It was great Simon loved the chocolates."
~~~
Present day*
I am brought out of those memories by the empty space next to me. Eloise is gone, where to I don't know but her missing presence left me cold. I feel more alone than I ever have before. I didn't even realize I was cold until she left. Just her being with me brought warmth into my body.
I hear the light switch off down the hallway and gentle footsteps near the door. She enters the room in her pajamas and quietly lays down it the bed. shortly after she realizes I'm awake and grins, eyes shining with delight. She spoke so softly I almost didn't hear her.
"What do you want to get for breakfast? I'm thinking we make waffles." Her voice is so innocent and gentle I can't help but smile.
"I agree waffles sound delicious."
~let me know what you think! ~