He can see the relief in her features but he isn't looking for any acknowledgement of his actions and simply leaves the room. There is so much more he needs to do. So much more he needs to get done before he can even start making his apologies verbally.
He heads back to his office and continues typing the report for their case from 11am. Usually, she would have done that. He has no doubt that she fully expects this one to be her job, too. While he wastes away his time, plays cards, drinks, hooks up with one woman or another, she keeps their company alive. She makes the appointments with their clients, she calms them down when he doesn't show up for one of those meetings, she writes the reports on their findings, does all the calculations as well, and, at the end of the day, when the numbers don't add up, she puts her own future on the line and invests every dollar she has into their group to simply keep them afloat. Crazy, if you just think about it. And what exactly does it say about him that before yesterday, he didn't even see what she did? And that frankly, had he not overheard that conversation between Zoe and her, he would still have had no clue. Cal Lightman: expert for reading micro expressions but too utterly blind to see what is happening right in front of his eyes. Disgusting.
Once he has finished the report, he hesitates for a moment. His intention was to simply file it away, but there is a good chance that she will type the whole thing again then, not expecting he already did that. So, he does put the report into the correct digital file, but he also sends his document to her attached to an email that simply states: "This one was on me."
CGCGCG
To say she is surprised when she gets his mail is an understatement. Not once has he ever written a report voluntarily, so how come he wrote this one now? The case certainly was not as exciting as to warrant his attention after the interviews were over. Should she ask him? Or should she simply not look this gift horse in the mouth?
After a very brief struggle with herself and her curiosity gaining the upper hand, she types three letters and hits the answer button.
CGCGCG
The sound announcing he's got mail almost startles him. He was lost in thought once again on how to proceed. How to get his partner to first of all have less work and more of a life, secondly a secure financial future (meaning for their company to become more profitable) and thirdly, hopefully, to forgive him and become friends with him again.
Now, he stares at the screen. "Why?" is all the message says. There are a thousand things coming to his mind when reading the word: "Because we can't go on like this with you doing all the work and me doing only the fun stuff." "Because partners should also share the paperwork." "Because you need to get back to liking this job and paperwork is not going to do the trick." "Because I couldn't think of you sitting at your desk for the better part of the night typing while I am the lazy bastard I have always been." "Because I want to help you." "Because I need to make it up to you." "Because I love you."
He settles on: "Because I practiced typing when writing my second book and now I can hardly get enough of it." And adds: "If there are any more reports to write, tell me!"
CGCGCG
She is sure, he is joking when she reads his mail. The small smile on her face shows however, that she doesn't really mind. He has done more than he has in quite some time and she is grateful for that.
So, when he walks into her office about a quarter of an hour later, the last she expects is him asking: "The Henderson file – you got it in here?"
"Uh, yes." She answers somewhat startled. Are there new developments in this four days old case that she is not aware of? She grabs a blue folder and hands it to him. "Did I miss any news?" she can't refrain from asking.
He shakes his head no. "Just checked and found no report on it yet. So, I thought, that's another one I could do as I actually was part of the interrogation contrary to some of the other meetings that I missed…"
She stares at him. There is no apology in his words but she doesn't need to be a voice expert to hear the apologetic sound when he speaks. She doesn't really know what to say, so all she asks before he is completely out of the door is: "You sure?"
At that he turns around and looks straight into her eyes: "Yes. I am sure. I figured, since I have an office here, I should actually also get some work done here."
He walks away with the folder in hand leaving her to her thoughts. Well, Cal has always had weird and spontaneous moods. Maybe, this is the "typewriting mood". Something neither dangerous nor particularly disruptive but actually helpful for a change. She decides not to look that gift horse in the mouth anymore and sincerely hopes his mood will at least last as long as it takes him to complete this one report.
CGCGCG
It's been three days since he wrote that first report and oddly enough he hasn't backed out yet. Quite the contrary: Whenever they are on a case together, he immediately volunteers to do the paperwork. She wonders what kind of mess he has got himself into this time and whether or not it will ruin their company for good as his whole behavior is just screaming at her that something is most definitely very wrong.
CGCGCG
He is really making an effort because he knows she deserves it. She deserves this and so much more. That's why he hasn't returned Emily's alarm clock but still sets it as an insurance to make him wake up if his old one fails. He intends not to be late for work again. Even more, he strives never to be late to, let alone miss, a meeting again. He never wants her to make up excuses again. To lie for him again. So, he sets the alarm to ungodly hours, shaves, makes sure he wears freshly ironed shirts and gets to the office before even Heidi is due. By now, he's been his "new self" for a whole week and he has to admit that it's not too bad actually. Sure, he does have less time for himself, but knowing that Gillian can leave the office before sunset without a bad conscience because she is so far behind with their reports is well worth it. As for his looks: He never thought about the fact that he might in a way ruin Foster's perfect impression with his wrinkled clothes in the eyes of some clients. His new outfit somehow allows them to ask higher wages. Pretty weird, but nonetheless true. Of course, him really attending the meetings that are set with said clients might also play a part in those wages.
They work together but they don't talk. He has set his mind on showing her for at least a month that he is willing to change. Has changed. For her. She needs to know that he will not do anything to hurt her again. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Not, if he can help it. And he still fully intends to apologize to her once this month is over. Before that, he doesn't feel like he has even earned the right to talk to her. That's why he keeps distant and silent for now.
CGCGCG
Naturally, she is well aware of the ways he has changed: It's not just the report writing and the clothes and being punctual. He is more polite than she has ever seen him, less arrogant than ever before, more thoughtful when talking to Ria or even Eli and less openly aggressive in their interviews. He only verbally attacks people in the cube anymore when there is absolutely no other way and even then it is with much less vice than it used to be. And he hasn't physically assaulted or tried to intimidate anyone recently. She can't help thinking that something must be very wrong. He still isn't talking to her. They swiftly discuss their cases and that's it: Both head back to their respective desks. Like coworkers, partners maybe, but definitively not like friends. So, is this it then? Is this what she wanted all the time? A partner she can rely on, someone to build a company with? A responsible man who does his job better than anybody else and does this job from Monday to Friday from 9 to 5?
Maybe that's what she wanted at one point of time, but she knew full well that that was not what she was going to get with the foundation of the Lightman Group. She founded this business with a man who was slowly but steadily becoming her best friend. And that is who she is missing right now. Not a perfect business partner who keeps all the appointments and wears nice suits and represents the company in the best possible way. She wants her best friend back. The man she can confide in when she hardly dares to accept her fears herself, the man who will protect her at any cost and support her at any rate whenever she lets him. Oh yes, he hurt her. Badly. Only when she actually found herself being pitied by Zoe for her ex-husband's unforgivable treatment did she realize how heartbroken she was. And it is neither healthy nor logical and she is totally aware of that but she still wants him back. Her best friend.
What could have made him change like that? First several weeks of extremely self-destructive behavior, pulling everything and everyone standing in his way under with him. Herself included. Then this sudden change into a person he had never been: calm, reliable, supportive. Not that he had never been reliable or supportive before. He certainly had been there for her whenever she really needed him, but this way of sticking to the rules, of keeping appointments, of writing reports was absolutely uncommon. Nothing like his usual fidgeting personality. Where did that go? And, more importantly, why did it go? As a psychologist she knows that only very dramatic events can cause a person to change so drastically.
So what happened? He wasn't in any life and death situation lately, she is rather sure of that. Emily is alright too, she knows as she just talked to her on the phone the other day. Both consciously avoided the topic of Cal when talking but they still managed to have a friendly conversation. What is going on? She ponders this question for the better part of her weekend until by late Sunday afternoon she has it all figured out: He is fatally ill. Probably cancer. Certainly deadly. Undoubtedly not long to go. Oh God! The moment she realizes, her cup falls from her hand, shattering on the floor and spilling coffee all around her living room. She doesn't even notice that though. She falls to her knees, shattered inside, just like the coffee cup: broken into a thousand pieces. It all makes sense now: first the self-destructive behavior while still being in denial and then, once he accepted his fate, the total change of personality. Trying to fix everything he may have the chance to do before he will be gone forever. Making sure that with his company, his name will survive. She cries and cries and doesn't even notice that some shards penetrated the soft fabric of her pants and that there is blood trickling from her left leg.
It is dark outside by the time she has no more tears left to cry. She feels as if she is in a daze while picking up the pieces of the broken cup and cleaning the floor from the mess of tea and blood that she created there earlier. She is too week to head upstairs to her bedroom though. She grabs a cushion and clutches it to herself as she rolls up on her couch and tries to suppress the shivers that are still raking through her body.