Author's Note: True confession: I stole the idea for this story from a Hart to Hart episode. And if you know that show, I'm really aging myself, because yeah, I was old enough to watch it live on TV. I was obsessed with Jennifer Hart's hair. It was the goal of every teenage girl in the 80's. Go ahead, watch the intro on Youtube, you'll see what I mean. I'll wait…

Holding Out for a Hero

Chapter Four

Part One

I wish I could take a picture of this, Elliot thought, and hang it on my wall. He didn't mean to stare at Olivia so long, but she looked so angelic asleep, her hair splayed out over the pillow. If anyone else were to see her now, they would have no idea what turmoil lay beneath those closed eyelids. He didn't want to wake her. This was the most peaceful he'd seen her in the last several days.

He woke her by touching her cheek, and she startled a little, until she opened her eyes and saw him there. "Sorry," he said softly. "I have some things I have to do. Will you be alright by yourself?"

She stretched, and for a moment he wondered if her distress had lifted and she had magically returned to her normal self. She muttered, "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just going to stay home today."

As he watched her, he knew nothing had changed. If she had been back to same-old Olivia, she wouldn't miss work because of a little stress. She'd be dying to get back so she could forget her troubles.

When she rolled over, she winced. "You okay?" he said.

She squeezed her eyelids tight, and he had to touch her hand. "I'm alright," she said. "Just a little sore."

The thought of the officer bashing her in the ribs with his baton made Elliot choke up, and then made him want to go find the guy and beat him into a coma. He made a note to himself to have a talk with the uniform's captain.

There was nothing Elliot wanted more than to lay down next to her and soothe her with a tight hug, but he couldn't stay here forever. He wanted to get his research done before she took off to see the doctor again, and he wasn't sure when that would be.

He had been shocked when she hadn't been offended at his comment about "getting to the bottom" of things. Normally, she would hate him checking up on her. But she seemed almost to want him to spy on her. Not like the Olivia Benson he knew, the one who turned up her nose at a protective detail.

He stroked her hair and said, "I gotta go. I'll check on you soon, okay?"

"Thank you," she muttered and sunk down in the bed, looking ready to settle back into sleep.

Her voice stopped him though. "Elliot?"

She looked up at him like she expected something. He locked his gaze on her once more. "Yeah?"

She reached out and touched his hand, and he wrapped his fingers around hers. "I thought I lost you yesterday," she murmured.

Lost me? I thought I lost you.

But he said, "How so? I can't be mad at you for seeing someone."

"It's not like that."

"Then what's it like?" Her lips formed a tight line. He shook his hand. "No, no. Forgot I asked that."

"I can't—"

"I know, you can't tell me." He didn't know what else to say, so he left off with, "Just…be careful, okay Liv?"

Taking a risk, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, and his lips stayed on her hairline for a moment later than they should have. And then he was off.

His first phone call once he got to his car was to Amanda, who had been busy with her research late into the night, apparently. "Dr. Wagner is an expert on hypnotism and subconscious programming," she said.

"Yeah, that's kind of what I figured, judging by the sign on his door."

"It's a fascinating field, one that we still know very little about, and one that I'm very interested in. Usually, it's used to help people stop smoking or lose weight, but new developments have arisen, and it's now being used to help people reprogram their minds. We all have thoughts and beliefs that have been programmed into us since childhood, and if we can turn those negative messages around, we can have a more hopeful outlook on life."

Elliot turned onto the street leading to the OC headquarters. "I get it Professor. But somehow I don't think that's how Dr. Wagner is using it."

"I think you're right. But I don't have the resources to research him the way you do anymore, so I'd look into his criminal history if I was you."

He got out and shut the door. "That's what I plan on doing. Thanks Amanda. Do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Keep your phone handy. I may need to talk to you more later."

"Absolutely. I hate seeing Olivia like this. I'll do anything I can to help her. But, can you clue me in now?"

"Not yet, because I don't exactly know. But I have a theory. I'll call you."

Even before he hung up, he made a beeline for the office, and got inside to find nobody there but Jet. He knew she would be there alone, which was why he had to show up this early. As he approached her, stationed in front of her monitor as usual, she already knew what he was going to say.

"What can I help you with, Stabler?" She lifted her eyeliner coated face to look at him. Sarcasm oozed from her voice. "Hack into the DOD? Or…what about the CIA?"

"Much easier than that. I think." He shifted his feet, knowing every second counted. "I need you to look up someone's criminal record."

She was tapping her fingers on the keyboard already. "Oh, so just the FBI then."

It didn't take her long to find the results Elliot was looking for. She pointed at Dr. Wagner's picture on the screen. "He's been arrested five times now, all in other states—California and Arizona mainly. Looks like most of them were sex crimes, but one involved a kidnapping charge."

Elliot folded his arms. "And he got to keep his license to practice?"

"Well yeah. Because he was never convicted. Each time, the case was dismissed by the prosecutor. He did have his license suspended for a short time in Arizona, right before he moved here."

"He needed a new place to hunt," Elliot said, rubbing his whiskers.

"Looks like it."

"Thanks Jet." He touched her shoulder. "I owe you one."

Her eyes got big. "You leaving? What about your sex trafficking case?"

But he was already on his way out the door. He called over his shoulder, "I got something more important that needs to be taken care of. And it can't wait."

Part Two

"Can you meet me at Liv's apartment?" Elliot said to Amanda through his cell phone. "And then I can explain everything to you. I'll meet you out front."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few."

He rubbed his chin, trying to formulate a plan, and wondering if his theory was too outlandish to even consider. Amanda was rational—she could be his compass in a situation that touched a little too home for him. She arrived about five minutes after he did and opened up his passenger-side door.

"So, are you finally going to let me in on your little secret now? Or should I say, Olivia's secret?"

He shot her a side-eye. "Believe me, if I'd told you earlier, you wouldn't have believed me."

She shifted in her seat. "Who is this guy, Dr. Wagner?"

"Have you heard Olivia mention him?"

"No, his name has never come up in my conversations with her."

Elliot put a finger to his lips before speaking, trying to choose his words carefully. "Olivia…is seeing him."

"Seeing him how? As a patient?"

"I don't know. But I do know that I caught them…" He scratched his head. "Uh, being intimate."

Amanda's eyes widened. "Seriously? She hasn't told me any of this."

"I'm not surprised. She seems to be keeping it real hush-hush."

Amanda turned to face him. "So…what? Do you think that she was seeing him as a patient, and then they started—" She shook her head vigorously, "I can't even imagine that she would do that. She knows the appropriate boundaries between therapist and patient."

"I know, I know. But what if…what if he used his hypnotism on her?" He watched Amanda's penetrating gaze as she processed what she had just heard, and then he continued. "The only thing I can't figure out is—and maybe you can help me with this—I thought nobody could force you to do something under hypnotism that you don't really want to do."

She clutched her chin for a moment, and then held up a finger. "Unless…I've heard of people who have mastered the art of manipulation, where they can convince people to do things they normally wouldn't do, through the power of suggestion. What if he used those techniques and combined them with hypnotism. Maybe…maybe if someone is really good, they could convince them that they want to do the thing."

He recoiled at the thought of what that thing was. She quickly interjected, "But Elliot, how do you know she isn't just doing this voluntarily because she wants to? Maybe she really is attracted to him. Have you tried to talk to her about it?"

Looking up at the window to her apartment, he thought about how he had considered that very fact. And then he remembered what had happened last night. "Yeah, I asked her. She keeps telling me the same thing, that she can't talk about it. But Amanda," he made eye contact with her, "I know this isn't what she wants. It's eating her alive. Look at how late she stayed out last night, and I found her lying on a park bench. Since when have you known her to act that way?"

Amanda stared at the floor of the car. "Yeah, you're right. When I've talked to her lately, she's seemed like she's a million miles away. She usually tells me when something's bothering her. So what do you suggest we do?"

"I have an idea." He proceeded to tell her about Dr. Wagner's multiple arrests and subsequent exonerations. And then he spilled out his plans. It would probably take the two of them to convince her to go along with them, if she even would. She'd been under a lot of stress lately, and the pressure would be enough to crack anyone open, even if she was a strong woman. She'd lived through twenty-five years of working at SVU, and then leading it, and she'd survived with only a mild undercurrent of uneasiness. It had been more than he'd been able to handle when he was at SVU.

"Okay, I'm down," Amanda said. "Let's give it our best."

Part Three

After Olivia made sure Noah left for school, she took a shower, an activity that had become a twice daily event. No matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn't seem to get the scum off her body. She imagined it seeping into every pore, leaving a grimy sludge so pervasive that it made her want to peel her skin off.

She was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she heard a noise out in the hallway, and she froze. It could just be a neighbor. She ran her fingers through her hair, wondering what made her so jumpy. A knock at the door startled her, and she had to will herself to move so she could peer through the peephole.

It was Elliot, and he had someone with him. She looked down at her own clothes—sweatpants and hoodie—to decide if she looked acceptable for visitors. Sighing, she opened the door.

Elliot came in, followed by Amanda. "What's going on?" she said, allowing them past her. "Is this an intervention of some sort?"

"Not really," said Elliot as he headed to the couch. "Sit down?"

She went to get her coffee first, and when she came into the living room, Amanda had taken the chair, so the only spot left was on the couch next to Elliot. Not that she minded—something about having him here calmed her, even though she was getting edgier the closer to eleven-thirty it got. She had an hour left.

"Going somewhere today, Liv?" Amanda said.

Can she read my mind?

Olivia cleared her throat and crossed her legs. "Yeah, I—" She stopped herself, realizing that she couldn't tell them anything.

Instead, she took a sip and set the cup down on a coaster on the coffee table. Elliot took her hand in his and said, "It's okay, you don't have to tell us anything. But I want to ask you a question. Remember, you don't have to say anything. Just yes or no."

His eyes pierced through her, and she watched him intently, starting to get jittery. But she nodded her understanding.

"Okay." His voice was soft and gentle, and she hated the pity she sensed coming from him. "Would you be willing to wear a wire today?"

She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, he interjected, "You don't have to tell us where you're going or what you're doing. But would you wear a wire?"

Wear a wire. They would hear everything that happened throughout the day. Why did that make her skin crawl? But it wouldn't defy her agreement not to tell anyone what she was doing at Dr. Wagner's office. Technically, it was allowed. And maybe, if she did this, as humiliating as it might be, it could help her go back to her normal self again. Her version of "normal" might be anxious and edgy, but as things stood right now, she was unable to function, having no desire or energy to even show up at her job, be a mom, or interact with anyone else.

"Yes," she said softly. She picked up her phone and looked at the time. "But you need to hurry."

"I brought it with me, so we don't have to go anywhere to set it up. It'll just be me and Amanda." He squeezed her hand. "I'll be with you the entire time. No need to worry."

Under other circumstances, that statement would have made her feel smothered, and she would recoil away from him. But deep down, a sense of calm came over her, and she closed her eyes and took in the feel of his strong hand holding hers, wishing they could just stay like that forever.

Part Four

Olivia's heart quickened with each step she got closer to Dr. Wagner's office. As she approached the building, she glanced over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of Amanda's car parked at the side of the street. She knew they would pull closer when she went inside, so that they could make a quick entrance.

But it's just a normal day.

Even as she thought it, she knew it wasn't true. She couldn't quite put her finger on what was about to happen, she only knew that it was big, and it could go sideways somehow. She was about to enter a counseling session, but this was not like other counseling sessions. This one had repercussions for her entire life, even if she couldn't fully comprehend those consequences just yet. All she knew for sure was that whatever happened, Elliot and Amanda would be witnesses to it, and that thought made her stomach drop like a roller coaster.

She had to stop once she reached the glass doors at the entrance to the building, because she had a hard time breathing. She waited with her hand on the door for a few seconds, willing herself to slow down her breath. As soon as she was inside, her legs trembled so much that she thought she might fall. When she walked down the hallway, she stumbled once, stopping to take in several large gulps of air to hopefully slow down her pounding heart.

She reached the doctor's door and stood in front of it, torn between the dread in her gut commanding her to run away and the standing orders in her subconscious forcing her to go in. Finally, she gave into the latter.

Taking one final gasp of air, she remembered Elliot waiting in the car outside, and she steeled herself and pulled the door open. Dr. Wagner greeted her immediately. "Come inside, Olivia, and have a seat."

She thought she might disintegrate into a puddle on the floor, but with shaky knees she approached her usual chair and practically fell into it. He must have noticed her nervousness, because he said, "Relax, Olivia. Take a deep breath. You are safe."

Even though she did what he said, her breath kept catching, and she was anything but relaxed. But she gripped the arms of her chair and kept her mouth shut, waiting for her next instructions.

"Just listen to the sound of my voice. And Olivia…be nice."

No longer aware of her surroundings, she went to a place of attentive listening, somewhere that the real world could no longer pierce. She had no knowledge of anything but the silence in between his speech. "Okay, Olivia. It's time to take off your clothes. All the way."

She methodically removed her shoes and socks, then slid off her hoodie. Piece by piece, she dragged each piece of clothing from her body until her panties were down and there was nothing left. She stood still, the air chilling her naked body, waiting for him to direct her. It seemed like she waited forever, and then he shifted in his seat, an air of anticipation wafting from him. "Okay, come to me."

As she approached him, she thought she heard something coming from the hallway, but she ignored it, as anything but the sound of his voice was irrelevant.

"Good. Now straddle me."

She slid one knee next to his leg, and then the door slammed open. But she did not turn to see what was going on, because he had not told her to. Instead, she put her other knee up on the chair, and now her waist hovered above his lap, waiting for the final command.

But an arm around her waist swept her backwards, and she had to put her feet to the floor to keep from falling. She recognized Elliot's voice, but she ignored it. "Freeze right there, scumbag," Elliot said. "Don't move."

Amanda was next to her, and she tugged on Olivia's arm. "Come over here, Liv."

But Olivia was frozen, staring at the situation happening in front of her. Dr. Wagner began to speak, and she listened eagerly for his command. "Liv—"

"Shut up!" Elliot yelled. "Don't say a word, or I will blow your head off."

Dr. Wagner shot an unbelieving look up at Elliot, who said evenly, "Test me, Motherfucker. I will do it and ask forgiveness later."

Olivia felt something tugging on her arm and remembered Amanda standing there. "Come on, Liv."

But she couldn't will her feet to move, still stuck in her expectant trance. Elliot glanced at her, and then looked back at the doctor. "Take her out of it." When Dr. Wagner stayed silent, glaring at Elliot, he said, "Now!" and cocked the hammer of his revolver.

"Olivia, you are no longer under my command."

Olivia blinked, and everything that had happened over the past few days came back to her in living color. She remembered all of it, the smarmy, the painful, the angst-inducing moments she had endured—no, not endured—participated in.

Amanda must have found a blanket because there was one being placed over her naked back now. She gripped it to her and bent at the waist, trying to block out all the unsettling images from her mind. "Oh, God." She tried to pull the blanket tighter, but it was already cutting off circulation to her neck. "Oh, my God."

She slid to the ground, holding the blanket like a shield. "Oh God, oh my God."

Bringing her hands to her face, she used them to catch the tears that now came rushing out. "What did I do?" she cried out.

Amanda put an arm around her and whispered in her ear. "It's alright, Liv. You didn't do anything wrong."

She heard Elliot say, "Amanda, can you come watch this guy until our reinforcements get here so I don't beat him to a pulp? I'm having a real hard time holding back."

There was a rustling movement as Elliot and Amanda switched places, and now Elliot knelt at her side, his breath coming fast and loud in her ear but his hands holding back, probably because he didn't know how much space she needed. Hell, she did know how much space she needed. She felt like a toxic waste dump, needing a good scrubbing but so poisonous that nobody could touch her.

Not wanting to see the way they were looking at her, she kept her face buried in the blanket, repulsed at the thought of what it might have been used for in the past. Was she the only one he'd subjected to this, or were there others?

Elliot must have gotten his courage up, because he touched the back of her head gently. "Liv—"

He stopped, and she heard his voice crack at the end of her name, knowing he had no idea what to say to her. She just cried, keeping her head buried, not wanting to be in the spotlight like this. In a few minutes, there would be paramedics and officers and all types of officials crawling all over this place, trying to ask her questions, and all she wanted to do was bury herself as far under the earth as she could.

Elliot's arm was around her shoulder now, gently tugging her to him. She caved, finally having a safe place to bury her tired head. "It's over now, Liv. It's going to be okay."

As she shuddered against him, her body began to leak the tension it had held over the preceding days, and she hunkered into him, surprised at how good it felt to let him serve as a container for her overwhelming grief. "Shhhh," he whispered, and she listened, his calming hushes interrupted only by the sound of her hiccupping sniffles.