The last place Steph wanted to go was where she was heading. To Charlotte's office. It was only 1:30pm, meaning that there was still another thirty minutes before Janeece's session. Steph wanted to talk to Charlotte one-on-one. She had thought about their earlier conversation regarding Janeece. Whilst she wasn't as reluctant as she thought she'd be, she had some questions.
When she got to the office and saw that Charlotte was alone, she sighed. She'd hoped that maybe she'd have a student in with her.
Charlotte looked up at her and smiled, waving at her to come in.
"Good timing, I could murder a cup of tea!" Charlotte said as she entered
Steph sighed, walking over to her desk.
"I, uhm- I just wondered what you thought would be achieved by me talking to Janeece?" she asked
"For her, a chance to draw a line in the sand" Charlotte explained
" 'Closure' you mean?" Steph huffed, rolling her eyes
Charlotte laughed.
"It's a bit hackneyed, I know. But it seems to work"
"And talking would make everything alright, would it?" Steph questioned, a dash of sarcasm laced in her tone
"You don't make something like this right. All any of us can do is find a way to live with it, the same way as Janeece is. She shared the last moments of her best friend's life. She needs to make sense of that" Charlotte corrected
"So why does that have to include me?" Steph challenged
"It doesn't. Not if you're set against it" Charlotte shrugged
"I don't know if I am or if I'm not" Steph mumbled
"Look, it wouldn't be all one-way traffic" Charlotte reasoned
"Do I look like I'd be sitting around hanging my emotions out to dry?" Steph huffed, rolling her eyes
"Probably not. I imagine you're a very resourceful woman. Strong"
Strong. The word caught Steph off guard. It took her back in time to last year.
She had been tidying away and had spotted some PSHE homework Maxine had left out on the kitchen table. The subject of the homework was to write about your role model.
In the question box 'What is the name of the person you look up to?', Maxine had written 'Steph Haydock'. In the question box below that was 'What are the best qualities of the person you look up to?', Maxine had written a few things down, one of them being 'She is strong and brave'.
The memory made her breath hitch in her throat, her eyes welling up with tears. She missed Maxine so much. It was little moments like that, that she longed for. If only she could turn back time...
"But you'd have to be. Not so many could go back to living in a house with so many memories, knowing it's where Maxine died" Charlotte continued
Steph nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"I manage" she mumbled
"I don't doubt. Which is why I sought your help"
"My help?" Steph frowned
Charlotte sighed.
"The truth is, Janeece has me beat. I know there's something that she's still fighting. It's as if she feels guilty for what happened" she explained
Steph wanted to say Janeece wasn't the only one who felt guilty for what happened. But of all people, the last person who should feel guilty about any of this was Janeece. This wasn't her fault.
"Guilty? What for?" Steph questioned
"That's what I hoped you might be able to find out" Charlotte told her
Steph nodded quietly. Maybe Janeece did need her after all.
"Look, I have my session with her at two o'clock. Why don't we sit down now, have a cup of tea and wait for her?" Charlotte suggested
"Do you really think it will help her?" Steph asked
"I do. And I think it will help you too" Charlotte nodded
Steph sighed.
"I guess there's no harm in trying then"
...
Rachel sighed as she sank into her chair. She let the dizziness wash over as she sipped slowly on her bottle of water. Walking from the field to her office had taken it out of her. She was glad she'd decided to come back up to her office for a short break before taking any further action with anything.
She couldn't lie; she was on the brink of giving up with Bolton. She didn't know what else to do. Even Paul, his best friend wouldn't tell her what he knew, and she knew he knew something.
It felt like her only option now was to admit defeat, to step back and let the new Head Teacher deal with it when they started. She knew Bolton would probably be expelled from Waterloo Road with immediate effect, but judging by his attitude, it was what he wanted. Maybe she'd got it wrong; maybe he had just hit Marley because he hated the Kelly's. Maybe there was nothing more to it than that. It didn't feel like it, but it wasn't the first time she'd got things wrong in the last few months. Maybe Bolton was going back to his old ways, and she hadn't had any impact on him at all. The thought unsettled her.
Now that the dizzy spell had passed, she pulled the box out from under her desk, throwing some of her things into it.
"How did it go with Paul?" Eddie asked as he stepped into the office
"It didn't. He was no help whatsoever" she sighed
"Because he didn't know anything or because he's loyal to Bolton?"
"The second one. He definitely knows something. He just won't tell me" she grumbled
Eddie sighed.
"I found our culprits" he told her
"For Jasmine's photo-shopped image?" she checked
"Yep" Eddie nodded
"Well, who was it?" Rachel questioned
"Danielle and Aleesha. I've spoken to them. I've given them both after school detentions" he explained
Rachel shook her head in disbelief. She'd had her suspicions it had been them. For once, she'd been right about something.
"Did they say why they did it?" she asked
"No, I think they may have a crush on Rob though. That might have prompted it" Eddie shrugged
Rachel nodded.
"I'll add it onto the report for the new Head Teacher. They can deal with them"
Eddie sighed, watching as she continued to put things into the box on her desk. He'd hoped that, by some miracle she would have changed her mind in the hour they'd spent apart. Wishful thinking.
"So this is it, is it? Your whole teaching career packed neatly away in a plastic box?"
"Don't start, Eddie" she warned
"I just... thought there might still be a way of talking you round" he sighed
"Well, there's not" she huffed
That's when Eddie suddenly had an idea. It was a risk, but it was one he was willing to take. Reverse psychology was an effective tool. Eddie wanted to know how much Rachel had really thought about this, other than writing her letter to the Governors. There was so much more to resigning than just that. If she'd sorted everything out, like the report to the new Head Teacher, and the plan to tell the students, parents and LEA that she was leaving, then he knew she was serious about going. If she hadn't, then he still had a chance at talking her round.
"Well, if you're hell-bent on going, I suppose I'd be daft not to put in for the Headship"
Rachel's head shot up at that. The emotions stirring within her as the words registered with her hadn't been what she was expecting to feel. Relief, worry and dread. The worry and dread were stronger than the relief and she didn't know why. It wasn't that she had no faith in Eddie being Head Teacher (she absolutely did). There was something else to it that she just couldn't put her finger on.
"Have you changed your mind then?" she asked hesitantly
Eddie nodded confidently, sensing his plan was already starting to work.
"It'd be weird to see my name up here instead of yours" he admitted, pointing to the plaque on the office door
"Well, I'm glad" Rachel said, swallowing the lump in her throat
"I'm just... thinking of the kids. They've had enough upheaval" he sighed
Rachel nodded sharply, continuing to pack to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.
"So, what do you want to do?" he asked
She looked at him.
"What do you mean?" she frowned
"When are you planning on telling the kids and the parents?"
It was the look of uncertainty on Rachel's face that confirmed Eddie's suspicions. She hadn't thought this through at all. Nothing was set in stone. But he wasn't about to get his hopes up just yet.
"Oh, I... hadn't thought," she mumbled, her eyes dropping to her desk
"Rachel, the kids deserve a lot more than a letter home" he pointed out
Rachel glared at him, confirming another suspicion.
"Oh, I see. You were planning on just sneaking off, were you? I thought Waterloo Road still meant something to you"
"You know it does" she snapped
"I just... wish I was leaving with a cleaner slate" she added, sighing heavily
"Well, if you're talking about our 'phantom poster sticker-upper', that's dealt with" Eddie chuckled
Rachel giggled.
"I'm not. I'm talking about Bolton. Of all the kids, I thought that he was the one that I had made a difference to. Even Paul, I don't get that!" she vented
"Bolton's little sidekick" Eddie huffed
"Well, his best mate is in big trouble and he's not doing anything to help him. All I get is this... wall of silence from both of them"
"Well, that's their look-out" Eddie pointed out
Rachel wanted to agree with Eddie. She wanted to put her hands up in surrender and walk away from it all. But she just couldn't. She suddenly found herself panicking and over-thinking every detail of her leaving Waterloo Road.
"Yeah, but what if you and Candeece are right and the LEA bring in a temporary Head with a mandate to come down hard?" she panicked
"That's hardly your problem, Rach. You'll be gone" Eddie argued with a shrug
Rachel stood up. As much as she wanted to give up on Bolton, her gut instinct was telling her that something was wrong. She couldn't give up on Bolton, not yet. Maybe she was wrong, but she had until the end of the day to find out if she was right or wrong. She had to keep fighting Bolton on this. If she took a step back now, knowing that he would probably be excluded by the new Head Teacher, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. Especially when she knew something was potentially wrong. She couldn't do that to Bolton, it wasn't fair. She had promised Bolton she would support him. If she didn't help him now with this, she was letting him down.
Eddie was eyeing her suspiciously, wondering what she was thinking. When her eyes met his, he knew she had a new plan and a change of tactic.
"I can't leave it like that, Eddie. Until I leave here, this is still my responsibility. I'm going to get Paul and have another chat with him"
"Ok, do you want me there?" he asked
"No, go and relieve Tom from the cooler, but don't say anything to Bolton. I'll come and get you if I need you"
Eddie nodded.
With that, she walked out of the office. Eddie couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face. For just a moment there, he had seen the Rachel that he knew best standing in front of him. The confident, passionate, dedicated and caring Head Teacher of Waterloo Road. Would she stick around? Eddie didn't know. But he hoped that if she got through to Bolton and sorted this, it would remind her of what she was capable of. And maybe she would stay.