Amelia had been with them in Hudson a month now, and as hard to believe as that was, she was definitely becoming a permanent fixture among the family. Jack and Lisa were both struggling to find the right balance of work and time with Amelia. The two had been working hard to make sure someone was always around for her. She was three, after all, and Lisa had told Jack on many occasions that she didn't feel right asking the girls to look after her while she and Jack juggled their own work. As she drove home now, after Jack had picked up Amelia after lunch, Lisa's mind wandered back to the latest conversation on that topic.
On that particular afternoon, Jack and Tim had plans to move the herd to the upper pasture, something that they had put off for several days already, and Lisa had a meeting with an investor at her stable. Neither one could change plans; the rain was moving in, and Jack didn't want to put off moving the herd longer. Lisa understood that, and her investor was only in town for the afternoon, so it was not something she could change either.
"Let's just ask Amy to watch her this afternoon," Jack suggested earlier that morning as they were having their early coffee. Thankfully, Amelia was still asleep, even if she continued to come wander into their room late at night most nights. That was an entirely different conversation and problem they needed to fix, but it had been a rough month of adjusting.
"Jack, I just don't want to have to ask Amy or Lou to watch her. She's not their responsibility," Lisa sighed, shaking her head.
"Now, that just seems silly. You and I have watched the girls plenty over the years, sometimes for months at a time. Lise, I really think it's fine."
She shook her head, "That's different. That's our job, as their grandparents or great-grandparents," she said rolling her eyes. "I'm not one keeping score here. Asking them to watch Amelia when she's our responsibility," she sighed. "I just don't want to do that. It's not right."
"Lise, I really think you are reading too much into this. We're all a family, and we help each other out. We're just asking Amy to watch her this afternoon."
"Right," Lisa sighed with a smirk. "Let's ask Amy to watch a three-year-old who doesn't want to go near a horse, who still has yet to ride with us, and Amy, whose own daughter will be at school, to watch someone she doesn't even like."
"Amy doesn't dislike Amelia," Jack frowned at her. Lisa raised her eyebrows at him.
"She's made it clear she thinks you are too old to be raising her, and she also has spoken up many times about her feelings regarding Lyndy. We didn't make Lyndy move rooms because of Amy," Lisa gestured, starting to raise her voice, but realizing she was getting louder and louder, lowered it. "No, I don't want to ask her. I feel like we are already treading lightly with Amy. I don't understand the issue still."
Jack sighed and dropped his head, raising it to meet Lisa's gaze. He gestured, "She's told us both that Lyndy doesn't like that she's not the baby of the family anymore, not that anything should or could be done to change that. Amy just always has trouble dealing with change. You know that. I know that. I'm even like that sometimes too, although this," he shook his head and sighed again, "I know, you're right that she hasn't been exactly thrilled we have Amelia here."
"No, specifically that you and I are raising her," Lisa pointed out. "I'll take Amelia with me this afternoon. You and Tim move the herd as you needed to do. My meeting should be maybe an hour, and you know what," Lisa smiled slightly as she nodded. "My stable manager, Edwin, remember he has a daughter Lyndy's age. He loves kids. I'll speak to him, and yes, it's out of his job description, but maybe he can have Amelia help him with a task. There's always plenty to do."
He eyed her, "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, and I'd rather take her with me," Lisa explained. "I have people who can help, so yes, I'll take care of things."
"If we get finished early," Jack started, but then he stopped and pointed toward Lisa. "You know what, there's no reason Tim and I can't get started earlier. We had talked about after lunch just because it's a little warmer, but if we get started early and finish early, I'll come by and get Amelia. That I can do."
Lisa eyed him, "We'll have to swap cars."
"I know, I know," Jack waved. "Neither of us want Amelia in my old truck. The girls were the same way with Katie and Lyndy, not that I blame any of them. It's been busy, but," he paused and met her gaze. "I might be considering a different truck so that you and I don't have to swap cars. I know you hate having to drive my old truck-"
"I've tried to tell you to just take one of the Fairfield trucks. They belong to Fairfield, and since I own that, they belong to me, and since we're married, I'm telling you to just take one of them. A couple are older anyway but are the double cab. Jack, let's face it-any of my trucks are better options for Amelia, and you don't want to buy anything."
"I might be coming around to that idea," he smirked and gestured before he continued, "not that I want to have that discussion today."'
"Okay," she pointed toward him. "I might have Edwin work on that today, getting the specs on all the trucks at Fairfield so that we can make the best decision."
"We?"
"I can give you the right truck," Lisa smirked back at him, and Jack chuckled, not expecting that response from her at all, but expecting her to say that Jack could find the best truck for their needs.
Now, with Lisa on her way home, driving her Porsche, by the way, as she had sent Jack home with an older Fairfield gray truck, double cab, to 'test it out' as she'd told him, she sighed, thinking about just how exhausted she was. Taking on Amelia had worn her out, but the last month had just been a mess too. They'd held the service for her family and had buried them with Lisa's parents. That had been an emotional few days, but Jack had been her rock. Seeing her entire family buried there together certainly had drawn up some emotions, and she'd been a mess, part of the reason she was still exhausted. And, then there was Amelia, always looking up at Lisa and Jack with her big eyes, wondering what in the world was going on in her world, why she'd been taken from her parents-not that she completely understood their deaths, why she'd been taken from the life she knew, and why she was now stuck here on this ranch around animals she continually stated she didn't like. At least Amelia's things had arrived, but with Amy's pleading, they'd left Lyndy's room alone, not that it made the best sense. Thankfully, Katie was the lovely teenager she was and had not minded at all that Amelia was upstairs with her. Tim had tackled a project that had both Jack and Lisa grimacing, putting up a wall upstairs, but after he and Jack had renovated the barn loft, Jack and Lisa had more confidence Tim could handle that project. He had, and it looked great. He'd framed it in, separated the room well, with both girls having a separated area but then sharing the one door downstairs. The family had discussed trying to put in two doors upstairs, but that just hadn't worked with the space. This still gave each of the girls some privacy, as well as a window for each, and besides the wall, Tim had framed in a small closet on Amelia's side where Lisa had hung up the few things that had made it to Hudson. Amelia was growing a lot right now, and as Lisa drove, she made a mental note that she'd need to take her shopping for some spring and summer clothes. Lisa loved shopping, and she'd loved shopping for Katie and Lyndy as they were growing up. She hoped that she and Amelia would have some fun shopping together.
In addition to those things at home, Jack and Lisa had met with their lawyer last week to discuss adopting Amelia. With the paperwork sent from Ontario, the lawyer explained that the process was mostly a formality and would just take some time. Even he cautioned the two at their ages, but neither had any intention of backing away from Amelia. She was now theirs, and they were going to make sure she knew that, that everyone knew that, in every legal way possible. They'd talked about it, both on the same page, and they expressed their wishes to their lawyer, who told them he'd be in contact when the adoption was finalized. They had done their part, and the two were serious when they agreed that they didn't care what Amelia called them. Legally, she'd be theirs; they'd be her parents, but Lisa and Jack had discussed that neither had any intention of just replacing Amelia's mom and dad.
As Lisa drove down the long driveway toward the house, she spotted Jack sitting on the front porch and couldn't resist smiling. She loved seeing her cowboy waiting for her there most days. As Lisa got closer, she noted the Fairfield truck was parked in Jack's normal spot (his old truck was still at Fairfield), and she spotted Amelia curled up at Jack's feet, playing with the little portable dollhouse set that had been Katie's.
"Hey, you two," Lisa said as she exited the car and closed the door. She smiled warmly at Jack, and Amelia's eyes flew toward Lisa as she jumped up and ran to her.
"Mimi," she smiled brightly, and Lisa scooped her up. Amelia had stuck with the new names for Lisa and Jack, and both adults had admitted to each other that they thought it was sweet she wanted her own names for them. Amelia was in jeans and a purple long-sleeve shirt, her hair braided still. She was letting Lisa do that most days, but Lisa had told Jack she wanted to cut it slightly. It was really long, and a three-year-old couldn't keep up with it. It was just getting really dirty all the time at the ranch, and for now, a cut just a little shorter would be good for Amelia at her age.
"Hi," she kissed the side of her head as she huffed up the steps with Amelia on her hip. Lisa was getting older, yes, and Amelia was getting bigger, both problematic for carrying her around. "Did you have a good afternoon here with Pop Pop?"
"I took a nap. So did he," she pointed to Jack, and Jack, who was standing to greet Lisa, chuckled as he nodded.
"Guilty as charged," he explained, winking at Lisa. "Hi," he said, leaning down to kiss her. Lisa put Amelia down, and she immediately went back to the little dollhouse. Jack offered her his cup of coffee. "Just poured a fresh cup."
"Oh, bless you," she sighed. "I was feeling the exhaustion hit as I drove down the driveway."
"Well," he said, as they both sat, Jack, putting his arm around Lisa's shoulders while Amelia played, "I hope I can entice you to an evening out, low key, I promise." Lisa made a face and looked to Amelia, opening her mouth to speak. Before she could, Jack gestured, "Now, don't say a word. Tim and Jess are going to watch Lyndy and Amelia, and no, Amy isn't going with us. She's got something at the center, and Tim and Jess were already going to watch Lyndy. Tim understands that two girls are sometimes easier than one, in that the girls might play together. Amelia and Lyndy have been doing better about that. You and I are going out, on a date, one that I planned."
Lisa's eyes rose in surprise, and with her free hand, the one not gripping the coffee cup, she gestured at him, "A date? Why?"
Jack broke out into a laugh as he shook his head, "Wow, turned down by my own wife. I can't believe you are questioning my motives. Why?" Jack repeated Lisa's question, grinning at her. "I just want to spend the evening with you. We both need it. We're both exhausted, and we've had a long couple of months."
Lisa rolled her eyes slightly as she went over her response in her head. She patted Jack's knee, "I'm sorry I was taken by surprise. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you. I suppose I'm just wondering what brought this on?"
"Like I said," Jack gave a nod of his head. "We need a break. I heard Amy talking to Tim about this evening, and I've been trying to find the right time to suggest this, a date for you and me. It just seemed to all come together. Tim and Jess, well," he rolled his eyes, "Tim at least is really looking forward to the evening. You know he has a big soft spot for her," Jack gave a nod to Amelia."
Lisa looked down at her, Amelia playing innocently there, and she smiled softly, looking back to Jack, "Yes, he does, and I do appreciate that. I know it does seem to stem from the fact Amy was about this age when he left."
"She was," Jack nodded.
"Jess is not at all the motherly type," Lisa chuckled, speaking softly as she glanced around. Jack returned the chuckle as he nodded.
"The two of them are in town and will be back shortly. They wanted to pick up a pizza for the girls, so they are on the way back, which means you have no excuse for a night out with me. Jess isn't always excited to be around the kids. I'll give you that, but we are going to take the help when we can get it. So, no excuse for tonight."
"Except the exhaustion, which you pointed out as well," Lisa smirked and pointed at him.
"My evening plans have taken that into account," Jack winked at her. Lisa shook her head at him. "Exhaustion is okay with my plans."
"Jack Bartlett, all these years, and you can still surprise me. This is a lovely surprise," she smiled warmly, now satisfied her concerns had been addressed. "Where are we going?"
"Surprise," he said with a single shake of his head and a wink. "You'll just have to trust me."
Lisa studied him before she responded. She looked over her husband, noting the love in his eyes, but also seeing the exhaustion on his face too. As tired as she was, Jack was over 20 years old than she was, and their little family here must look as absurd as could be to others. She was 60. Jack was 81, and they had a three-year-old in their constant care. What the trio they were. Seeing Jack's hopeful expression, Lisa leaned up and kissed him there, smiling as she did.
"I trust you, have with my life for many, many years. You always make me feel safe, so I trust you have a lovely evening planned for us. I would like a little guidance on what to wear."
He smiled back at her and cupped her cheek as he answered, "You look incredibly lovely right now, and I'm wearing this." Jack gestured to his best pair of jeans, and yes, Lisa knew he had a ranking order of them. The 'best' pair were not ones he worked in, and he had on a light green stiped shirt, one that she'd bought him not long ago. She loved green, and Jack looked good in it. She gave him a nod.
"Incredibly lovely?" Lisa eyed him, the two in very close proximity still. She grinned, "I'm wearing jeans, a long sleeve blue shirt, and a vest," she gestured to herself. "Mind you, I worked in all of this."
"You sat behind your desk," he pointed out to her. "You yourself told me you weren't doing any riding today. You had meetings."
"True," she chuckled. "Although, I don't think I've ever described my wearing jeans as incredibly lovely."
"Well, about time you did then," he winked and added, "I've said it time and time again, that you look incredibly lovely, even sexy," he winked, and Lisa's eyes widened as she gestured to Amelia there. Jack just laughed and shrugged. Their close moment was interrupted with the arrival of Jess and Tim in her car. Jack and Lisa sat back, Jack's arm still around the back of the bench, and Lisa sipped at the cup of coffee Jack had given her. Amelia looked up with their arrival.
"Amelia, Honey," Lisa spoke to her, and Amelia stood up and raised her hands to be picked up. Lisa put her in her lap and spoke to her, "Pop Pop and I are going to go to dinner, but you and Lyndy are going to stay here and have fun with Tim and Jess," she pointed to them getting out of the car.
Amelia's eyes widened, and she teared up, "Are you coming back?"
"We will be back after dinner," Jack leaned in and made a face at Amelia, trying to ease her worry. She shook her head.
"Mommy and Daddy didn't come back."
Lisa had to look away, choking up herself, and Jack reached over and plopped Amelia onto his lap so Lisa could compose herself. He frowned slightly, and as Lisa turned toward them, wiping at her eyes, she could see the worry on Amelia's face.
"Amelia, I promise Mimi and I will be back. We're not going far. You are going to have pizza with Lyndy, Tim, and Jess, and then, you'll get a bath, and then, you'll go to bed. When you wake up, we'll be back."
"Hey guys," Jess smiled at them as she walked up the steps. Tim was behind her carrying the pizza. "Amelia, do you happen to like ice cream?" She dangled a grocery bag in front of her with a hopeful smile, not even realizing the help she was being after that difficult short conversation.
Amelia wiped at her face and nodded, "I love ice cream. Mommy didn't let me have it much, just special times."
"Oh, well," she gave a hopeful nod to Lisa and Jack, "maybe if it's okay with Mimi and Pop Pop, you can have some after your pizza?"
Lisa made eye contact with Jess, "You know, if we are staying home like Amelia wants, I think I'd say no to Amelia having ice cream," Lisa nodded, hoping Jess caught on. "Amelia is worried about us going out to eat, but if she's here with you and Tim, I suppose she could have some ice cream."
"Oh hear that, Amelia?" Jess smiled at her. "If you stay and eat with Tim and me, you can have ice cream."
"Okay," Amelia slid off Jack's lap and reached for Jess's hand that she'd extended. Lisa mouthed a 'thank you' to Jess and Tim, and then both she and Jack stood up. Tim waved off both Jack and Lisa, reading the situation, and they both gave him a nod. Tim and Jess walked Amelia inside, and as much as she wanted to follow and tell her goodbye, she looked to Jack.
"Didn't see that coming," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm sorry we worried her."
"I am too. Her little mind," Lisa sighed. "I hope we don't worry her too much."
"Me too," he said, pulling her to his side and kissing her head. "We still have to move on with life, Lise. Going to dinner, just the two of us, is the first step. Come on," he said putting his hand in hers. "Let's go. I have everything ready."
"Everything ready?" Lisa eyed him as they walked to the truck. "What are we doing?"
He looked over his shoulder as he led her to the passenger door of the Fairfield truck, "I told you to trust me."
20 minutes later, the two were settling into the picnic Jack had prepared for them and placed in the back of the truck even before Lisa got home. Jack spread out a blanket on the tailgate, and he told Lisa to sit back and let him pamper her. She was just grinning at him as he pulled out their dinner.
"Well, I had some nostalgia as I thought about our picnic. I also had a little time to get this just right," he said to her, handing her a wrapped item. "Now, I thought Lookout Point was a good spot for us since we sometimes ride up here, but thinking back, I recall seeing you riding up to me here when we were broken up. I was irritated at first because I realized Tim had dupped me, but then, I just couldn't get over how beautiful you were in the morning sun. I didn't want to argue, but I couldn't get out of my own way, focused on Tim and his stupid cattle story, that I always think about that when we come up here."
She eyed him, "That was a very, very long time ago. I had the opposite reaction that morning, initially, that is. I saw you and hoped you had come to your senses and wanted to talk, to fix us."
"I know, and we've hashed that out before. Tonight," he winked, "we are here to talk, just you and me, just to talk, to relax, to enjoy each other's company because there's no one I'd rather be around than you. We need our time alone together, and I'm very much aware we rarely get it, now even less with Amelia. So," he gave her a nod and continued. "Before we eat, our gourmet meal," he winked, and Lisa laughed, holding what she couldn't see but could tell was a sandwich, "is one of nostalgia too."
She shook her head, grinning, "Let me guess, turkey and Swiss?"
He gestured at her with a grin, "Is there any other sandwich? I promised you a date night. I didn't promise a five-star restaurant."
She gave a head shake at him, "I'd never have expected that. We've certainly dined in plenty of the finest restaurants here and in Europe, but yes, Jack," she said, leaning over and kissing him sweetly, "this type of meal has become my favorite kind. I'll gladly enjoy a turkey sandwich with you."
"I figured if it was good enough for a very classy horse breeder to just happen to have on her on an innocent outing, at least as I saw it, but what was really in disguise as some first date, it must be good enough to enjoy tonight." Lisa burst out laughing as she grinned then at him, nodding. "Course we've had this same sandwich a few times over the years together too, but that first date was one I'll never forget."
"Hmm, guilty as charged, but seems my instincts were right about you. Here we are."
"Here we are," he winked, pulling more food out. "A bottle of wine, some grape salad, pasta salad, and cheesecake freshly baked and brought into the diner this afternoon."
Lisa's eyes rose in surprise as she continued to grin, "Sounds like a great meal, all the things I love."
"Oh, and coffee," he winked. "Aren't I something?" Lisa laughed, thinking back to when she'd said that to Jack on their first date, and she leaned over again to kiss him. He winked back at her, "Seems my instincts were right about you, this evening. I'm glad we could be here."
"I'm glad you thought of it." The two situated themselves in the truck bed, both leaning up against the side, sitting next to each other, their feet stretched out. They ate quietly at first, both just eating out of the containers for the grape and the pasta salad. Lisa nodded in appreciation as she chewed another bite. "This was a great idea, Jack."
He nodded in agreement as he finished chewing, "To be fair, when I decided on a picnic, I also decided we were too old to sit on the ground." Lisa burst out laughing, and Jack continued, "I must admit the newer truck here," he smirked at Lisa while she grinned at him, "is growing on me, and it certainly was a hit with Amelia."
"Oh, she liked it?"
"She said it wasn't as old as my other truck and I are. She asked if that was the only truck I've ever driven because it's so old." At that, Lisa smacked at Jack's leg while she sat forward and burst out laughing. She covered her mouth as she continued to laugh hard, and that had Jack laughing too. It felt good to laugh especially after the last several weeks, and finally, the two settled down again and sat back against the truck. The temperature was dropping, and Jack leaned forward to drape a blanket over their legs.
"Thank you," Lisa said, settling in and cozying up to Jack, her glass of wine in hand. She'd almost finished it, and Jack had finished his, so he opened the thermos of coffee, pouring a cup for them to share. "I'm nice and warm. You take very good care of me."
"I have to impress all these Stillman women in my life," he winked at her, and she smiled warmly, shaking her head.
"You don't need to impress me at all. You never did. I liked you right away, still do," she said, looping her arm through his as they looked up at the night sky. "As for the younger Stillman, she absolutely adores you, but who wouldn't? I told you I was smitten right away. You are so good with Amelia. I like seeing you with her."
"Talk to me, Lise," Jack encouraged. "How are you doing with all of this, with Amelia living with us?"
She sighed loudly as she shifted slightly leaning her head even more on his arm, "I'm okay, really. It has been a lot, but I continue to remind myself of what you and I have said for so long over the years. We are never promised tomorrow, and we need to cherish what we have. I know that, and I remind myself of that each day. I cherish you, our time together, and things just like this," she nodded to where they were. "It's no secret that we continue to outlive plenty of those in our lives younger than we are, and I'm also not immune to knowing one day our time will come."
"Mine long before yours," Jack said, frowning at her. "I hate that for you, that you'll be left here heartbroken. I've told you before to find someone-"
"Just stop talking," she put her finger to his lip and shook her head. "I've also told you that will never happen, at least the part about me trying to find someone else," she rolled her eyes. "No one could ever replace you, and I've told you that one of the things I love most about you is that you were willing to take a chance with me. I know that was hard, and I can't imagine that. I won't ever do that; it's always you. I'll be fine, and now, I'll even have Amelia."
"You have the rest of the family too, don't you forget that," he eyed her.
"I know," she nodded. "It's just different."
"No, it's not," he shook his head. "It is our family, and I feel the same about Amelia. I know you've been trying to take on most of her care, not that I haven't been trying to share it, but Lise, we're a team. She's not just your responsibility."
Lisa bit her lip, "I feel she is. You didn't sign up for this."
He sighed loudly and shook his head, "Are you kidding me? We're in this together."
"I knew what I was getting into with the family when I married you," Lisa gave him a pointed look. "You took on me, just me, not-" This time, it was Jack who softly put his finger to her lip.
"Don't you even say it. It's OUR family, both sides, no matter what. Lise, I'm serious. We've taken her on, and I'm very glad we could. I'm glad she's here, despite the circumstances. She's such a great kid, Lise, and we're going to give her a great life. I just hate that running the numbers, I won't see her grow up and get married."
"Please stop," she sighed. "I don't want to talk about that."
"I mean," he continued, almost ignoring her, but with a teasing tone now, "if she takes as long as her great-aunt to marry the love of her life, you won't see it either. You're not going to be around another 40-some years yourself if she's like this aunt of hers," he winked at Lisa. She looked over at him, mouth open, horrified, and she smacked at him, finally smirking.
She shook her head, "No, I wasn't that old. I was in my 20's when I married Dan." At that, Jack burst out laughing, and he pulled her tightly toward him, kissing her head. She curled up at his side.
"Really, though, Lise, I know each day is a gift. I do. I think back to life when I had my heart attack, and it almost kills me, no pun intended," and Lisa swatted at him while he continued, "to think about dying then. To think that you and I weren't talking, that I couldn't have told you how much I loved you one more time, that we wouldn't have had all these years married together, that I wouldn't have seen Amy get married, Lyndy born, all that with Ty," he paused and sighed. He shook his head before he continued, "I, too, remind myself to live for each day. I'm by your side, and the two of us are a team with Amelia. That doesn't mean you have to assume all responsibility. We've been trying to figure out a schedule with her, a way to juggle our work and her, and I think we need to talk about that."
Lisa sat up slightly nodding, "I do too. We both have a lot on our plates, and I've cut back considerably at Fairfield over the years. I'm not ready to close up business yet, but we both know I'm not traveling like I was. That will be a help with Amelia, that we are both home."
"It is," he nodded. "I also know you don't want to rely on the girls for constant help."
"It's not their job," she shook her head. "I've told you that watching Lyndy is our job as great-grandparents. Asking them to watch the orphaned great-niece of their great-grandparents," she shook her head. "My head is spinning thinking about the connection here."
He nodded, kissing her head, "I know. We're going to simplify that, to make Amelia really feel like part of the family by adopting her. We've talked about this, no matter what opinions others have. I think it's the right thing to do. It is a bit crazy to legally think she'll be our daughter, even if she always calls us Pop Pop and Mimi, which I've really enjoyed," he softly smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes as she sighed. "See, life has a way of surprising us at each turn. I've always said you would be a great mother, and now you are here, raising Amelia. We're doing this together, something we never imagined, something that isn't quite the same with great-grandkids, and as sad as the situation is, I'm excited about that. I like being a parent with you even if it sounds ridiculous at my age. I should be in some nursing home."
Lisa looked up at him, horrified, "Nursing home? You're in better shape than men half your age. We both know that."
"My age is still my age," he pointed out. "As long as I'm still here on this Earth, though Lise, I'm committed to giving that little girl the best life we can. So, I think we need to make some changes to make life a little better for the three of us. We've had some time to get her settled, to try things out, to see where there is a need."
"What are you proposing?" Lisa scrunched up her face, looking at him.
"Well, this should help all three of us. Amelia keeps asking the both of us when she's going back to her daycare. She's used to going and probably misses her little friends. I think we should look into something a couple mornings a week so help both of us, really all of us. She needs to be around some kids her own age, especially with all that has happened, and that few hours would give both of us time to get our work done. Now, sure, I know that doesn't sound like me," he paused, and Lisa smiled. "I'm trying to be this modern-day sophisticated husband for you," he winked. "Really, Lise, at our ages, she's wearing us down, and that's not her fault. She's three, but since we both have all this responsibility, maybe we check it out. I know Amy didn't want to do that, and honestly, you and I were raising Katie mostly at this age with Lou gone so much, but even remembering back to that, it was a lot. We were always juggling schedules, and this could help. I did check in town, and there is a nursery school program, three mornings a week, and I think we should consider it, for all of us. That way, she's getting some social time, we're getting work time, and we are all then ready to be back home together. What do you think?" Jack gave his head a nod at Lisa, and she started to tear up.
"I think that's about the sweetest thing you've said to me," she said, now crying. He shook his head at her, wondering about her tears. "I was feeling so guilty thinking that we should do the same, that I should be around all the time, but I do think it's a good idea. You're right that she asks almost every morning when she's going back to daycare. Jack, I don't want her living in daycare like she was, and that is no judgement at Ben or Lauren. For us, I just want a few hours-"
"That's all I'm suggesting," he nodded in agreement. "Three days a week. They have a spot for her, and it looks really nice, Lise. I went by today before I picked her up. She'll still be with us most of the time, and it won't be us asking the girls for help all the time. We're allowed to raise her as we want to do so, and I think we need to do this, no matter what others say. Now, with that," he met her gaze, "let's talk about this riding thing with her."
Lisa nodded as she wiped at her eyes, "I wasn't aware of how stressed I was feeling about juggling everything with Amelia."
"Well, she did take our lives by surprise, not that I'm complaining at all, but we need to be realistic and do what fits our life too. I can't just not take care of the ranch, even with Tim and Caleb helping, and you can't just walk away from Fairfield even when you have reduced your travel, so let's start with nursery school, okay?"
Lisa nodded, leaning up to kiss him. She settled back into his side and sighed, "I think we need to push her getting on a horse with us. We were going to try a ride with her a few times, but we've had weather issues, her complaining, but I miss riding with you."
"Okay," he said with a single nod. "I agree. We'll take her on a ride. She can ride with me, and hopefully, we can work up to her taking some riding lessons and getting a pony that is her size."
Lisa nodded in agreement, "I don't want to ask Amy for riding lessons."
"Why not?" Jack gave her a look, surprised at that.
"I love Amy," Lisa told him. "She's fantastic at what she does, and we both know I was the first to give her a chance. I think with as sensitive as the Amelia subject is with her right now, we can't assume or ask. Let's work on getting Amelia familiar with a horse, find a pony, and maybe that is something we have her do at Fairfield."
Jack dropped his head as he met her gaze and frowned, "Seriously, an English saddle?"
"No!" Lisa swatted at him, sighing as she shook her head. "It's not about that at all, even though," she dropped her voice and looked away as she finished, "any Stillman is going to learn to ride English and love it."
Jack chuckled, kissing her cheek, "I'm not disagreeing that she might enjoy that one day. We both have to acknowledge, Lise, she might hate riding."
"I know that too," Lisa nodded. "I wasn't suggesting Fairfield to teach her English riding now. No, if she's going to learn to ride with us at home, Western is fine and is what she should learn first. Even I admit it is more comfortable for our trail rides, and I love riding Duke. I just think keeping Amy out of this now might be for the best. If things change, we can evaluate it further. She's fabulous at what she does, but I don't want her to feel obligated to teach Amelia, her," Lisa waved her hand around, "whatever we want to try and say how she's related to her."
Jack chuckled lightly, nodding too. He sighed, "You know, I keep thinking about what Georgie must have been like at this age, just all alone, no family, and that is one thing I wish Amy could understand. She and Georgie have such a special bond, and I'm very glad Georgie found us because that's exactly what it was-she found our family. Couldn't imagine life without her, even if she's moved away, and that's what I see with Amelia too. I want to look back and try to imagine life before her and have trouble doing so."
Lisa almost blurted out, "I don't want her in ballet."
Jack turned slightly and gave her a gesture, "Really? Now that surprises me, especially after Katie."
Lisa made a face, "I think that's why. I know Lou was delighted with it, even wanted Georgie in ballet, but Jack," she sighed and continued, "I'm just not a fan. I don't even want to go to the ballet, yes, I hear myself, the sophisticated Lisa Stillman," she made a gesture to sound snobby, and Jack laughed while she waved at herself. "I'm just not a ballet type of mom."
He smiled, and Lisa titled her head, shaking it at Jack.
"What?"
"I like hearing you say that, that you're her mom because yes, we can't replace Ben and Lauren, but she had three years with them, and I think about the rest of our lives with her, and we'll be raising her."
"I didn't realize I said that," she said with a shake of her head. "I' not trying to-"
"Be her mom? You're going to be, Lise. You already are. It's all new to us, and yes, names and all don't matter, but I'm glad we can be parents to her together. I know I've said that, but I like doing this with you. You would have been a wonderful mother if you'd had the chance."
She dropped her head and clasped his hand, "I waited too long, and when I met the right cowboy," she turned her head up and gave him a faint smile, "we had a lot to work through but then it was too late."
Jack kissed her hand and winked, "Funny how life turns out." The two were quiet, looking at each other and then looking up at the stars. Jack continue to hold her hand but then cleared his throat, "So, no ballet?"
"No," Lisa admitted. "Does that bother you?"
"Are you kidding?" Jack burst out laughing. "Hallelujah. I can't stand ballet."
Lisa laughed, and the two settled down again. Jack spoke up finally once again.
"What about hockey?"
"Jack! She's a three-year-old girl. No," she shook her head, laughing. "Besides, it's not like we play hockey or really know much more than the basics about it. I'm not a hockey parent."
"Alright," he chuckled. "How many times did we convince the girls you were coming over to watch a hockey game?"
"More than I can count, and it should be alarming that we rarely watch it now, and they never picked up on that."
"To be fair, we usually did have the hockey game on the television," Jack pointed out.
Lisa burst out laughing as she nodded, "True, but I never could tell you who was playing or who won. We had other things on our minds."
"True, so good point, if she played hockey, we'd have to pay attention-to her-and not to each other."
"Stop," she swatted, giggling. "You're terrible. We're old now."
"Apparently not old enough to raise a toddler."
"Maybe swimming?" Lisa offered, glancing up. "I mean, she will need to take swim lessons. That is a must, so we can see if she likes that."
"Agreed on the lessons. I've seen way too many people drown over the years in lakes and rivers because they couldn't swim at all. No argument here. I keep telling Amy to get Lyndy into lessons."
"I'll look into it, maybe something they can both do."
He made a face, "Might be a bit of an issue with Lyndy. She already keeps saying she doesn't like Amelia the baby following her."
"See, that is what I mean," Lisa swatted at him. "Fine, we'll take care of our little girl, and that will be that."
He looked at her fondly, nodding, as he leaned in to kiss her, "I really like that, our little girl, and she's a great one, Lise. Let's just hope we don't mess her up too much."