FIVE YEARS LATER
A dim, dreary morning fell upon the Mushroom Kingdom with all the grace it could muster on a day like this.
To the average person, the time was not apparent, as everything was still blanketed in darkness.
A historic rainstorm poured through the skies, threatening to erode all it drenched. It had been a long time since it had rained like this.
It was a violent, tumultuous rain, with drops falling with enough force to flatten Goombas, who were instructed by the Koopa Army to shelter in place.
The rain came after a long drought, and perhaps some were thankful for it after all this time; perhaps the drought was even the reason the clouds were pouring so much harder than they had before... And after all, the crops needed it. They were withering away to nothing.
But most were simply annoyed. They had wanted the rain for so long – why couldn't it have just been some periodic drizzle every now and then, instead of eons of nothing, followed by one giant torrent threatening to drown them in its wake? At the very least this rain would, no doubt, cause a few unlucky residents to find their downstairs flooded.
There was one place, however, where the rain didn't reach. A place so dry and superheated that most forms of precipitation would vanish in an instant.
The pitter patter of small Koopa feet echoed through the grey brick halls of the fiery fortress, lined with torches and with red carpet drawing strict, straight paths toward the various areas of the castle.
The Koopatrol met the Magikoopa just outside the throne room doors. He handed the mage a scroll and said some words before being dismissed.
Rather than open the doors to the throne room, the Magikoopa teleported inside.
The Magikoopa floated toward the throne. He did a lazy bow.
"Sire, your morning paper and coffee," said the mage, empty-handed save for a wand. He whirled it around and there they were, amid a glittery poof of colors and shapes, floating in front of the throne – a steaming mug of caffeine and a newspaper to go with it.
A large, yellow, scaly hand grabbed the paper and coffee mug without a word.
"Now, onto the daily announcements." The wizard cleared his throat. "Marty, you know, that Thwomp in the cage? He's reminding everyone to bring something for the Koopotluck on Sunday – Krissy Koopa is going to be baking her almond butter cookies again. Princess Peach was sighted leaving for vacation with Mario; might be a good time to plan another kidnapping. Oh, and one final thing. There's a new prisoner in the dungeon. Claims to know you. We captured him just outside the ramparts. Doesn't look like he's from around here..."
LEATHER AND FEATHERS: CHAPTER 6
"Gone, but Not Forgotten"
A FEW YEARS AGO
It had all felt like a dream...
Then again, this was Dream Land.
King Dedede sat in his throne. Sighing defeatedly, he rested his head in his palm, elbows digging into the arms of the large chair.
His eyes were visibly tired from insomnia, dark blue bags holding them up from beneath. At the moment, they were also glistening with a thin layer of tears, whether due to their dryness or his emotions, he didn't care to discern.
The penguin idly looked at his surroundings, barely taking anything in. The castle hadn't changed, and it never would. The yellow-beige brick exterior, the white patterned walls in his throne room, the red carpets, and hanging banners with the kingdom emblem upon them... He had seen it all before, and would probably be seeing it exclusively, ad nauseum, until the end of time.
He watched a bird fly past one of the windows, drawing his attention to the blue skies outside.
Another sunny day... How he tired of those.
Normally he would enjoy it, but it had been nothing but a bright, cloudless utopia for weeks now. The air was still. Nothing moved, no evolution took place in any regard.
The ruler reflected on his recent memories.
It had only been a few months since that other, scalier king had visited Pop Star and performed his invasion, not of the kingdom, but of Dedede's mind.
The Koopa monarch had come here, shaken everything up, and then disappeared without a trace.
Dedede thought back to their farewell. How strained it had felt, like words were being left unsaid.
Bowser had stolen his heart.
He wasn't in love or anything – that was preposterous, and the thought wouldn't even cross his mind – but for once, Dedede had felt like he had something akin to a best friend.
Sure, he had Adeleine, but she was like a kid sister. Kirby didn't speak. Bandana Dee was probably the closest thing, but he was still a minion at the end of the day. And that damn knight was just aloof. He even had kinship with the townsfolk. There was no denying his support system, and he was grateful for it.
But Bowser was the first time he felt like he had an equal, a peer, with whom he could have something more than simple, sweet conversations. The Koopa King was different.
And that momentary happiness, that camaraderie, that new song on his tired old playlist was snatched away before he could even savor it. He really did feel a pain in his chest, right where his heart was, when he reflected on it.
They both had understood the loneliness that came with leadership, how their subjects would worship them or defy them, but how true connections were difficult.
It was only shortly after the Koopa had departed that Dedede had realized – he hadn't arranged a way to stay in touch. He could've come up with some future plans, given the Koopa an excuse to return. But in the moment his mind was screaming and he couldn't think straight. So he'd let his only potentially true confidant fly away forever.
He sometimes wondered if that was a good thing.
Bowser was brash, brutish, and bullying.
He was probably dangerous.
Yet the penguin could do nothing but think about their time together.
He thought about how the Koopa had made him laugh, challenged him, how their conversations were alien compared to any he'd ever had with Dream Land's denizens.
They'd fight, argue, and then moments later be the best of pals.
The Koopa King was aggravating. The way he'd get under Dedede's skin. How he'd relished making the penguin squirm. He'd seemed to thrive on Dedede's discomfort.
Yet there was a softer, vulnerable, almost melancholy aspect to Bowser, which occasionally showed through the cracks in his shell.
Evidently, neither of them had had a friendship like that. Perhaps they'd gotten a little out of control. Boundaries that people with normal social lives understood were crossed, repeatedly, and then stomped into the ground, left in a smoldering heap.
He still couldn't believe the fact that they'd cuddled, hugged, gotten drunk together, and shared a bed. He'd never do that with a stranger. What had gotten into him? Was that scaly beast trying to make some sort of power play, seducing him with some sort of hypnotic ability?
It didn't really matter, anyway. He was gone.
Dedede had tried, discreetly, to locate Bowser's whereabouts. He searched the castle libraries for documents and archives about other planets and their kingdoms. He'd asked anyone with even a grain of knowledge on the subject. He'd even frantically tried to extract information from Kirby, which had proven fruitless.
There were no leads.
Dedede had travelled through space before – Warp Stars were an incredible tool – but without anywhere to go, any hint at Bowser's home, he would be lost in the cosmos forever, playing connect-the-dots with distant stars but never completing the picture.
The Koopa Kingdom, Dedede pondered. There's no trace of anythin' like that on the celestial maps, in ancient documents, travel guides, or anywhere. There's a lotta places out there that I've never heard of – the Kingdom of Hyrule, the Kongo Jungle, the Lylat System, Planet Zebes, the Mushroom Kingdom, the Flower Kingdom...
But no Koopa Kingdom.
Maybe he couldn't find it because it was a minor region in a much bigger place. But Bowser had painted a picture of a world under his thumb, only resisted by a couple of desperate plumbers. Maybe the Koopa Kingdom was a place so barren and desolate, that only its king ever spoke its name, a planet condemned to ashes, a wasteland.
Or maybe Bowser and his kingdom had never existed at all.
As far as Dedede could tell, it had all worked out in the same way.
He was alone.
A FEW MONTHS AGO
Years had passed. Five years, give or take. Not in the blink of an eye, but rather, they inched forward like a caterpillar in molasses.
Dedede had long since given up on finding Bowser. He was getting older and needed to move on.
But still, thoughts of the Koopa, his fiery personality, and his fiery scent... They still lingered, even now. Though muted and more manageable, they were no less melancholic.
He felt disappointed and a little surprised that Bowser had never made an excuse to come back. He didn't know why he expected the Koopa to do so, other than the fact he thought they had become friends in that brief time.
All of this was more fuel to the fire of his mind, which kept telling him Bowser had only been there to mess with him, and scope out his kingdom for later subjugation. He wasn't a real friend, or anything else, other than an asshole.
Yet he still would look at the night sky, occasionally, and see a shooting star or a twinkle of any kind, and his heart would stop, thinking it could be the Koopa's airship, finally returning.
But these were always illusions.
"Y-Your Highness!"
The frantic voice snapped Dedede out of his brain fog.
A Waddle Dee guard came running into his throne room, slipping on the polished floor and falling on his poor little face.
In his stubby hands he held a letter.
It flew out of his grasp and floated slowly down to Dedede's feet.
The penguin looked at the letter. It was in a plain white envelope, but the official-looking seal caught his eye.
It was a red seal, with a logo he hadn't seen before. A circle, split into four by an offset cross.
The king got out of his throne and picked it up, walking over to help the guard up.
Dismissing the Waddle Dee, the penguin walked back up to his throne, standing over it as he opened the envelope.
Enclosed was a card, printed on expensive stationery. There were folded papers inside as well, but he left them in the envelope for the time being.
Dedede stared at the card, reading slowly.
It read:
"Dear King Dedede,
We hope this correspondence finds you well.
We are writing to inform you that your loyal supporters have absolutely flooded us with ballot entries on your behalf.
We've reviewed your credentials, and we believe you would fit perfectly as the third representative of Dream Land in our prestigious event, known the universe over.
Should you choose to accept...
We'd like to welcome you...
to...
SMASH!"
Dedede's jaw dropped to the floor.
"SMASH!?" he squawked.
He'd been nominated? His subjects cared that much?
He'd never dreamed he could be considered Smash material!
Everyone talked about the Smash tourneys these days. They were becoming incredibly popular, ever since the last one, which was referred to as "Melee," and apparently, a new one titled simply "Brawl" was coming up in about another year and change, though there was always the possibility of a delay.
Tears welled up in his eyes. A few of them dripped onto the cardstock as he finished reading.
"On behalf of the organizers of our tournament, we would be honored if you'd accept our invitation.
Please respond promptly, or you will risk losing your spot. Enclosed are all the documents you will require, including the guest list, should you wish to contact your fellow competitors."
Dedede sat, no, fell back into his throne, the envelope and card drifting to the red carpet below him.
It didn't feel real. Getting invited to Smash was one of the highest honors in the universe. Bowser had even told him so, hyping up the event endlessly.
The penguin froze, a realization dawning on him.
The color drained from his face.
He felt faint, and thought it lucky he had sat down.
Bowser... was going to be there.
Bowser.
Him...
Dedede's breath hitched.
He began to pant, first slowly and then more frantically, suddenly not able to get enough air to survive. No matter how he gasped, it was like his lungs were empty and about to collapse under their own weight.
He clutched his feathery chest, his heart racing at a rate which scared him. He could feel his pulse trickle out into his forearms, his neck, his back, bubbling like a swamp that threatened to swallow him whole.
Sweat began to bead, on his forehead, palms, armpits and all other places.
He bit his tongue in an attempt to settle himself down, but all it did was draw blood.
He was one hundred percent certain, without a shadow of doubt, that he was going to die here, right at this moment.
He kneeled over in his throne, shaking, wanting to call for help but not being able to form a word. He was thankful in a way that no one was around to see him in this state.
Eventually the feeling subsided, but it took all of his energy to overcome it. The penguin was left feeling drained, exhausted, sick to his stomach. His mouth was so dry, it felt like it was burning.
Slowly, the light outside was starting to dim, and the cool breeze through the window gave him new strength. He sat there for an hour before he had the will to move.
When he did, he stood up, looking down at the fallen invitation with an ambivalent face.
The Koopa King was in an empty room. Everything was grey around him.
He was running for miles, following a voice.
"Where are you? Where've ya been?"
He chased the sound desperately. His heavy footfalls echoed into the nothingness.
"Who could ever care about someone like you... Only me, but I realized I was a fool."
He couldn't see anything, except for a faint, round silhouette in the distance, tinted blue and yellow.
"Why aren't you here anymore?" it asked, pleading.
"I don't KNOW," Bowser shouted, running toward it. "WAIT!"
"I'm gonna leave now," the voice whispered. "Don't come back."
Bowser sprinted as fast as his body could handle, but the figure was gone, and he was trapped here, alone.
The grey fog encroached upon him. It was suffocating him. The Koopa tried to swipe it away, but nothing worked.
Before his breathing stopped, he heard one more voice, this time belonging to a familiar princess, high-pitched and mocking in its matter-of-factness:
"I'll never love you either."
In that instant, everything faded.
The sound of lava bubbling roused Bowser gently out of his sleepy state.
The turtledragon was reclined in his study, having dozed off in a leather armchair. The irony of him owning leather furniture was not lost on him, but damn it, it was comfortable as hell!
The book he'd been reading before falling asleep, a story about a beast king in a forgotten land, had slid down to the stony floor beneath, and he awoke just in time to see it slip into the decorative lava pit next to the chair, its corners singeing and lighting aflame before slipping beneath the voracious liquid.
All's well, he thought. That story made me feel sad.
Yawning ferociously, his large fangs clicked together as Bowser stretched his weary limbs, his back cracking slightly as he shifted his rump in the recliner.
The walls were lined with dark wood bookshelves, which were filled with various reading material. Lots of non-fiction, a few stories, some classics that were too boring to read, and the occasional magazine. Some trinkets and decorations here and there broke up the monotony.
There was one window in the room, at the back wall, and the moonlight shined through it.
Some tall lamps kept the room lit just enough to read. The big chair Bowser was in was near the middle of the room, with one pool of lava on each side, which added to the ambient lighting.
A sturdy large desk was up against one of the walls and it was where Bowser would sit and do any paperwork that came through, generally struggling to write with his meaty fingers and nails getting in the way. He had to use ink and a quill from a rather large bird to even manage.
His reading glasses were hanging on the edge of his snout. He got up from the chair, folded them and put them in the desk drawer.
He looked at the clock on the wall, a curio he had bought at the Koopa Kraft Fair. It was a Conkdor clock. Within it was a spring-loaded avian figure whose long neck would pop out on the hour. He'd quite liked the kitschy charm it gave his study.
The clock indicated that it was late, in the middle of the night.
Bowser exited into the hall, ready to go to bed.
Most of his troops were sleeping, a few guards posted here and there. They gave the king sleepy nods as he strode past, his footsteps muffled but still loud on the red-carpeted floors.
The grey stone walls were illuminated romantically by flickering blue torchlights. Last week they were red, but he'd forced Kamek to magically alter them for, quote, "the Koopaesthetic."
Something about the color blue just... spoke to Bowser, these days.
Kamek had groaned and complained the whole time about how he was wasting his talents here. It wasn't the first time he'd had to change the flames, or create some other visual trickery to appease the fanciful monarch.
Bowser made it to his bedroom in due time and flopped down on his stomach. He was too lazy to take his shell off, grumbling under its weight.
By his bed, on the floor, was Bowser's recent Smash invitation, his second in a row. It was clumsily torn open, the paper ragged, a byproduct of lettermail not being designed for large-clawed individuals. He didn't bother to look at the guest list, figuring it would be more of the same. Probably a bunch of dumb swordfighters.
He thought about Dedede again.
"Why was I so stupid... Stupid stupid STUPID!"
He moaned into the pillow.
He should've just gone back. In a few weeks, or months. Came up with an excuse.
But the time slipped by, quicker each day, and then the excuses he'd tried to come up with sounded more and more flimsy.
He'd already shown up uninvited twice. Caused a scene. No, make that a whole stage play.
He gradually came to accept that he wasn't wanted in Dream Land. Never was. At least not by its king.
He'd made Dedede uncomfortable on an hourly basis, was rude, unappealing, scary, he awkwardly flirted (even if he didn't mean anything by it), basically lacked all social skills and then inserted himself into someone else's life.
He'd been a burden, and the other king was an absolute champ for humoring him for so long. But in reality, they weren't actually friends. Bowser had simply convinced himself otherwise, in the moment, to justify his own wild behavior.
He was uncontrollable. A bull in a china shop. His ego got ahead of him and he pushed too many boundaries, trying to be entertaining and fun but coming across like a crazy predator.
How would he know what boundaries even were, when he'd never had any kind of socialization beyond commanding troops and antagonizing people? How could a monster understand how to interact with anyone? His rage, it always threatened to consume him, his anger at the world never giving him what he needed. When he felt that way, he became a different person. Somebody unsafe.
The penguin was too pure. Even if there were a mutual interest, Bowser needed to protect Dedede from the monster within. For his own good. Spend too much time together, and the bird king could end up hurt, or worse.
He was the bad guy, and he was just playing his role. Sure, he'd always take prisoners alive. He never killed anyone. Never forced himself on anyone in a way that would be traumatizing. But still... wasn't all that he did... unforgivable? It wasn't like he wanted to stop being a villain. And yet, he thought he deserved a companion? Someone to casually chat with? Who would even want to be friends with a ruthless beast like him?
Who was he kidding? No one would.
But it almost felt like, with Dedede... There had been a chance.
Had been.
Past tense.
He looked over at one of the nightstands next to his bed. The stuffed Dedede plush he had won at the Dream Land fair was sitting on top, staring at him blankly.
He reached for it, pulling it close.
Bowser exhaled, nuzzling into his prize.
It's too late now... It's been too late for a long, long time.
A FEW DAYS AGO
The townsfolk were gathered around Castle Dedede.
Everyone was talking, kids were running around, and the air was one of celebration and excitement.
One person screamed, "DEE THREE!" at the top of their lungs while banging pots and pans. Everyone cheered and went along with it.
Banners were strewn about everywhere, confetti was falling from an unseen source, and someone's dog wouldn't stop barking.
Trumpets brayed as a portly blue figure walked out of the gates.
"Well, that's a bit much," Dedede said, blushing as he stepped out into the sunny afternoon.
People screamed, "I love you!" and "Good luck!" and all sorts of similar words.
Dedede walked down a hastily rolled-out red carpet on the grass, toward his destination, surrounded by adoring citizens. Some reached out to touch his robe.
He tripped over the carpet, but quickly got up, hoping no one would remember that moment.
Dedede came up to bask in the glow of what he was walking toward.
A Warp Star.
He stopped in front of it and eyed the star, losing himself in thought for a moment.
Then he turned around, facing the crowd who were seeing him off, surrounded by rolling green hills whose grass swayed gently in the spring breeze.
"Everyone..." Dedede cleared his throat, not sure what to say.
But he spoke from his heart.
"All these years that I've been yer king, I worried. I thought I wasn't good enough, wasn't doin' enough. I sometimes thought... maybe people only liked me because I was their ruler, and that it wasn't genuine. We all know I've gone off the rails sometimes... Mostly due to gettin' possessed by an otherworldly entity or two, but Maxim Tomato, Minim Tomahto. What I'm trying to say is..."
He paused, for effect, but also because he wasn't sure if he could speak it.
"What y'all did, votin' me into the Smash ballots... I'm incredibly touched. That fact alone made me feel like I'd done right by you folks, if ya felt so strongly."
Dedede sniffled. Someone in the crowd started clapping a little too early, and awkwardly stopped when it was clear they were a social buffoon.
The penguin tried to maintain his composure as he drew his little speech to a close. "I really wanna thank you. All of ya. From the bottom of my heart. I couldn't ask fer a better community." He narrowed his eyes. "And, most importantly, I hope I can make you all proud by beatin' the crap outta everyone in the tournament!"
Dedede stood there, arms akimbo, while the crowd went wild.
"WE'LL MISS YOU," shouted Wanda the Waddle Doo, in her echoey voice. She was perched atop a taller villager's head.
Dedede beamed, trying not to cry. A few characters ran up to see him off more intimately.
Kirby, Adeleine, and Bandana Dee.
The latter simply rubbed the back of his head, before waving sheepishly, at a loss for what to say. "B-bye…"
"Poyo," Kirby said, with a smile that belied the seriousness of his words.
The three of them ran in and gave him a group hug, trembling.
The crowd went "Awwww," punctuating the moment.
The trio backed away from the king.
Adeleine blinked away tears. "Mr. Dede... It's been a blast. We can't wait to see you again, with a trophy in your hands!" She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Good luck with your training journey!"
"Yes, good luck," a voice came from above.
Everyone looked up, gasping.
The air swooshed around as a small, masked, winged dark orb glided down to land gracefully in front of Dedede, between him and the rest of the group.
"Oh! Meta Knight! Better late than never, I suppose," the king said.
Meta Knight chuckled quietly, picking some lint off of his cape. "I wasn't late. I was merely watching from the rooftops."
Dedede rolled his eyes. "Right... I fergot how you're so much cooler than everyone else in the world."
Meta Knight scoffed. "Just remember that you'll be fighting me in the tournament as well. Not to mention Kirby. I can't speak for the pink one, but I intend to be the victor. I will appear in my glory and I will smite every last fighter with holy fury, until they cower at my feet, begging for their pathetic lives."
"Yeah, yeah, just don't cut up my nice robes with that jaggy sword of yours," the penguin monarch muttered.
"Dedede, you've had quite a different attitude these days. You're more sarcastic." Meta Knight's eyes glowed through the hole in his mask. "I like it."
"Yeah, well, you could say I've had enough of bein' Mr. Nice Guy," Dedede said. "I'm here to win, too."
"And I'm sure your adventure will give you a leg up," said Meta Knight. "Though I do not require a training journey myself, I suppose that it's only logical to learn who you'll be up against."
"That's right," the penguin nodded. "Gonna spar with all of the competition. I checked the guest list in my invitation, and they're all there, with locales listed. I'm going to skip a few, because, frankly, who has the time... But I wanna at least fight with some of the bigger names. The veterans. Like Samus. Donkey Kong. Even the dreaded, vicious 'Jiggle-Y-Puff,'" he paused to allow the crowd to gasp, "will be no match fer my mighty hammer!"
Everyone started cheering and screaming again. The audience had a really good energy going on.
"I do admit to being surprised that someone as lazy as yourself would deign to do something like this," Meta Knight remarked. "You must have some heretofore hidden motivational reserves, my liege."
The penguin scowled, choosing to ignore him.
"Well, I better get going. Any longer here and I might just change my mind." Dedede looked up at the sky, and then down at the Warp Star. "I know you'll do a good job of guardin' the kingdom while I'm gone, Meta. Thank ya fer your diligence."
"I'll make sure to keep the throne warm for you," was the dark puffball's sardonic reply.
"You better keep everyone safe," Dedede scoffed.
Meta Knight nodded.
Dedede turned around and took a deep, shaky breath. He touched the Warp Star, imagining his destination as well as he could, though he'd only seen it in books, hastily studied.
He clambered onto the star. It twinkled and made a noise as it rose up six feet into the air.
Dedede hovered in place atop the astral vehicle.
Everyone waved in unison, some shouting words of encouragement, some crying.
Dedede focused his mind.
Adeleine ran up beneath him, waving through her tears. "Where are you going to go first?"
Dedede closed his eyes tightly, a raw determination in his voice that startled even him.
"The Mushroom Kingdom," he shouted over the sound of the Warp Star. "I'll start my search fer a challenger there."
Then in an instant, the penguin king zoomed away into the sky, leaving Dream Land behind.
A FEW HOURS AGO
Dedede had spent a lot of time thinking while he'd been coasting through the stars.
It had taken a long ride, a surplus of snacks, and plenty of snoozing, but he was nearing the Mushroom Kingdom, finally, and his passing confidence had been upstaged by his usual anxiety.
This was a terrible idea, surely.
But he needed to do this. He couldn't stop himself.
At first, the mere thought of seeing Bowser again had driven him to a panic attack. But then he slowly realized that it wasn't just about his feelings. He had recognized the anger and hurt that the Koopa had let slip during his weaker moments. Maybe he didn't come back because he was afraid of rejection. Afraid the friendship wasn't real.
Just like me...
Maybe he questioned his actions, thought Dedede was uncomfortable with him. After all, that was the way the penguin had responded.
Or Dedede was being incredibly charitable, and in fact Bowser didn't think about him at all, unless it was with contempt. The Koopa checked out his kingdom, didn't even consider it worth conquering, and left, having had his fill. He never came back because he didn't care to. By coming there, Dedede was simply inviting further scrutiny, practically begging to get hurt.
Well, only one way to find out, he thought, his starry vehicle entering the orbit of an unfamiliar planet.
He landed with a thud in the grassy plains surrounding a tall, elegant castle. His Warp Star blipped out of existence.
Hope this goes well, he thought, otherwise it'll be really awkward to bum a ride home...
The structure before him was magnificent. White bricks layered to create dazzling spires topped with reddish-pink roofs, themselves crowned with little flags. The windows were all stained glass, and a focal one in the center above the drawbridge depicted a blonde human woman in profile.
The background of the skies contrasted with the bright castle; the pregnant clouds were dark and moody. It looked like a storm was coming.
The grassy knolls were cut by a dirt path leading up toward the building. Dotted all around were little gardens with flowers and many trees whose leaves were sculpted into strange, rounded shapes.
Climbing the hill, he almost tripped on the way up.
Approaching the drawbridge, a lone figure walked over from the castle entrance, as Dedede held on to his toque, afraid it would blow away in the wind.
It was a little guy who looked almost like a human, except for his button-like features and lack of a nose. But more interesting was the person's head – it looked like there was a giant, spotted mushroom cap growing on top of him. He wore a blue vest and white, baggy pants. He was about two or three feet tall.
"Hello, do you have business at the castle?" His voice was like nails on a chalkboard.
Dedede shuffled his feet, not really having a script ready. "Um, uh, hi, I'm, ah, visiting from Pop Star. I don't know if you've heard of it. My name is King Dedede, and I've been, um, invited to join the Smash competition. I decided to go 'round an' introduce myself to some of the fighters, maybe gain some insight on what to, uh, expect."
The creature coughed, eyeing him with an expression that was hard to read. "Never heard of Pop Star, but I've heard of Smash. Never been invited, of course... But the Princess smuggles us in, despite that," he said with a sneaky smirk. "I'm Toad, by the way. It's my given name and also the name of my species. Don't think about it too hard."
"Pleasure to meet ya, Toad," the penguin replied, shaking his tiny hand. "I'm Dedede."
"I know," Toad smiled blankly. "You already said that."
Dedede flushed. "R-right."
Toad beckoned him. "Come with me and you can meet the Princess yourself!"
The king followed the little man in awe. These were a very trusting people. Dedede was surprised he could gain an audience so easily. He also noticed a distinct lack of weaponry or defenses anywhere to be seen. Nary a cannon in sight. Maybe they were hidden?
Then again, his castle wasn't a paragon of war either, but he'd always thought Dream Land was an outlier in that regard.
Two more of the small Toads were guarding the castle doors. But instead of looking at him with suspicion, they exclaimed, "A visitor!" and rushed to open the giant wooden doors.
Inside the castle was a frankly jarring decor. The floors were black and white checkered tiles, with red carpets and little stairways leading to various doors. There was a tall staircase in the middle of the foyer that went up to a set of red double doors with a picture of a giant star on them. Some stone vases with bushes were here and there, framing stairs and doorways.
What he'd seen so far looked nothing like how Bowser had described the kingdom, and he wondered if the Koopa was some kind of pathological liar.
He looked around at the walls, which had clouds with faces painted on them. Dedede was distracted by the strange childlike design of this fortress, which was oddly eerie, as the Toad led him through various doors, hallways, and an antechamber with golden rails climbing up the walls and ceilings in an arch, before they made it to the throne room.
"Here we go," said Toad, "Be sure to be on your best behavior."
Dedede walked through a final set of double doors, shadowing Toad, into a grand room with flowing little waterfalls, white and pink tile floors that were polished to a reflective sheen, more stained glass, thin elegant standing lamps with multiple warm flower-shaped bulbs, and a last staircase whose carpeted steps led to a small, red velvet throne.
On the throne sat a woman dressed entirely in a flowing pink dress. Her skin was smooth and soft in appearance. She had on long white gloves, and her blonde hair grew well past her shoulders, halfway down her back, topped with a simple crown. She had plump lips and a tiny nose, both framed by thick blue earrings. Her big, cerulean eyes were pretty, but they were empty and soulless, like those of a doll. They were the only unsettling part of an otherwise beautiful and cute woman.
"Oh, a visitor? Hello!" She rose from her throne and lifted her skirt as she walked down the stairs, with careful, dainty footfalls.
Dedede approached a few steps, bowing. "H-hello, P-Princess. My name is King Dedede, and I'm travellin' from Pop Star. I've been invited to Smash and I- I wanted to start meeting some other contestants as I train myself fer the tournament..."
The princess nodded, closing her eyes. "Pop Star... Oh! Yes, that's where Kirby hails from."
"Y-yes," Dedede said, "We're friends. I'm king of the castle in Dream Land."
"Well, congratulations on your acceptance," said the princess. "I have to trust any monarch with such cute pink subjects. Though his ability to swallow things is... frankly, frightening."
"I dunno if I'd call Kirby my 'subject', but yeah, agreed."
The princess put her hands on her hips. "Well, on to business. King Dedede, if you're here, you must know I'm one of those contestants you are seeking."
Dedede nodded. "Toad here briefed me on that. Beautiful castle, by the way."
"Thank you." Peach smiled slightly. "We can talk about Smashing in a moment. You're just in time for afternoon tea."
Dedede sat at the white, glossy table, nervously nibbling a little sandwich corner while Peach filled their delicate, white teacups from an ornate, matching porcelain teapot.
They were in the tea lounge, a room full of similar place settings. Numerous identical tables seated numerous identical Toads, with identical teacups, identical finger food. It all felt a bit uncanny, like they were in a dollhouse.
The white walls had more of those flowery lamps lighting everything, as there was no sun out to shine through the windows that day.
Dedede sipped his hot tea. It was good, even though he preferred coffee.
He had a lot of things he wanted to learn from the princess.
They talked about Smash first, since it was the reason for their meeting. Peach had just joined in the last tournament and she'd had an excellent showing, according to the Toads. There were fighters from all over the universe, with different talents that could be unpredictable and deadly. People would break out into real fights over who should be included. Some of the nominations were considered nobodies that had nothing more than a cult following, while others were viewed as deserving and overlooked icons for whom things just didn't work out. Some were simply joke nominees. There would be bets on who would come out on top, and life savings had been lost for some unfortunate souls. The cycle of hype for a new tourney was all-consuming. Everyone wanted to be in on the action. It all sounded very grand and dramatic.
Dedede felt proud to be included, but a little scared, too, the more he heard about the event.
Am I really cut out fer this?
He asked the princess, whose name he learned was Peach, all sorts of questions about her homeland, to which she gave measured answers. He learned about the Mushroom Kingdom, its history, the general laid-back and friendly attitude everyone had there. He was enlightened on their power-ups, the weird Question Mark Blocks that nobody could explain, he learned about Warp Pipes and Toad Houses and Worlds 1-7, with rumors of a Minus World being quickly hushed.
He heard constantly about this person called Mario who was always being heroic and helpful.
"In fact, it's good timing that you came today, since we will be departing for a vacation to Delfino Isle tomorrow. Hoping that this one goes better than the last," Peach remarked, seeming to have almost forgotten.
He heard about everything except any kind of strife or politics.
Dedede coughed, hoping his question wasn't going to be awkward. "So, this is all interestin', but I'm also wonderin', do ya have any problems in the kingdom? It all sounds so perfect. Surely there's some..." he paused, heart rate rising a smidge, "villains about?"
The mood of the room flopped to the floor. Everyone exchanged knowing glances. Peach's formerly lifeless eyes sparkled with a new energy.
Ah, crap. I made it awkward.
"An interesting question," Peach remarked, sipping her tea for a moment before continuing, her tone impossible to discern. "You wouldn't happen to be... a villain yourself, would you?"
Dedede began to sweat. This was one of those questions where the wrong answer got you executed, probably. "N-n-n-no! No! I'm just tryin' to find out everythin' I can. Evil is just another side of the coin, and I think it's important we a-acknowledge it exists. And if I'm going to be fighting villains too, then I need all the help I can get learnin' their... motivations."
Peach stared into Dedede's eyes, almost penetrating his mind. Or at least it felt that way.
Finally she sighed, putting down her teacup. She closed her eyes. "All right, I suppose that is understandable. Certainly. We do have... a few villains now and then. And their troops. But if you're asking about a villain who's also a Smash fighter, within this world, there's only one."
The room felt uneasy. The king leaned forward, on the edge of his seat. This was his moment of truth.
"You really want to know about him?" Peach said in a quiet tone.
Dedede's voice dropped to almost a whisper, to match hers. "Y-yes..."
"His name is..."
The suspense was killing everyone, even though they all clearly knew the answer.
Everyone except Dedede, who was still unsure if anything he was looking for was even real in this obfuscated kingdom.
But Peach's words finally echoed.
"Bowser."
Visibly, a shiver ran down everyone's spine, although the penguin's was for a different reason.
"B-B-Bowser?" Dedede stammered. "W-who's he?"
Peach looked over at one of the stained glass windows. "Only the biggest, meanest monster around."
Dedede felt warmth spreading to his cheeks. "Go on?"
"He's a malicious beast who lives in World 8. The Koopa Kingdom."
So Bowser didn't make that up... he only stretched the truth. A piece of the puzzle slid into place.
Peach continued. "Bowser is nothing but bad news. I'd keep my distance if I were you. I don't see what kind of training he could provide, unless it's the kind that involves chains and-" She cut herself off.
Dedede noticed her cheeks were a little flushed as well, which was odd.
"He's tried to kidnap me numerous times, but I'm always saved by Mario in the end." Peach smiled absently.
"Ah," Dedede said. "I'm sorry if I brought up some traumatic mem'ries..."
"No, no, it's all right," Peach said.
And it seemed like it... was? Her anger almost felt put-on.
No, that was crazy.
"I still... still feel I need to check every avenue available if I'm gonna be ready to fight people like that," Dedede managed, choosing his words carefully.
The princess looked grave. "Very well. I can give you directions, but I implore you to reconsider. If you truly intend to head there... give that brute a good smack for me, will you?"
The penguin laughed uncomfortably. "Sure... Kinda doubt I'd survive that, from how he was- uh, in your description," he corrected himself quickly.
Peach pondered for a moment, pinching her chin with a thoughtful look. "Yes, he would likely eat you."
Dedede gulped, still vaguely uncertain if that were a possibility.
Bowser had an uneasy feeling that day. He couldn't explain why. It was like something was watching him, or someone was after him.
At least, that was how he felt as he got out of his hot springs in the dreary courtyard, which looked more like a graveyard, considering the location.
There were dark, leafless trees, as well as cherry blossoms and pines scattered about, fallen foliage lightly layering the grey stonework. Tall brick walls blocked the view from outside. Even though the castle was surrounded by lava, it was nice to have some privacy.
The Koopa let himself drip dry and went inside.
Bowser's feet thumped on the floors as he walked down one of the hundreds of winding hallways.
He heard a familiar, magical sound and saw smoke forming in front of him and grimaced.
Kamek appeared in a poof, annoyingly always at the one moment Bowser wanted to be left alone.
"Sire, we have urgent matters to discuss."
"What..." Bowser smoldered.
"Your highness, with all due respect... All you've done lately is mope. Is something the matter? Our troops grow impatient. They need something to do."
"Look, Kamek..." The king trailed off.
"What is it?"
"I..." Bowser growled, wanting anything more than to avoid this conversation. "I just don't feel like DOING all that stuff anymore. What's the point?"
Kamek stepped back, surprised. "Are you depressed or something? We can book an appointment with the Shy-Guyatrist."
"NO! Maybe! I don't know!" Bowser wrung his mane in his hands. "My heart ain't in it anymore. I just wanna chill these days. That a crime?"
"'Chill?'" Kamek snorted. "You're an evil overlord and you want to... 'chill?'"
Bowser stomped his feet. "Just 'cause I'm a big baddie doesn't mean I don't have other interests!"
The Magikoopa appeared perplexed. "Like what?"
The Koopa King stuck out a paw, and began counting on his fingers. "There's so many video games in my backlog that I never touch! Books to read! Places to see!"
"Can't you read a book while invading the Mushroom Kingdom?" Kamek wondered.
"No! I'm no good at multitasking!"
"Audiobook, then?"
"And how am I s'posed to hear the screams of terror over the narrator!? C'mon, keep up!"
"Well, then, what am I supposed to tell the army? They're itching for the next battle."
"I dunno, tell 'em to go on vacation or somethin'!"
"Sire, we don't have paid vacations here."
Bowser scratched his head. "Oh, right. Well, what if we converted the place into some kinda lounge? The Koopa Kabana? Could rake in the dough real quick. People'd come from all over to party in a fiery castle."
"You- you're clamoring to convert the castle into a club!?" Kamek was crestfallen and confused at the Koopa King's capers.
"Why not? Beats gettin' our asses handed to us every time we go to war." Bowser crossed his arms, smug in his idea's potential.
Kamek tapped his wand in his hand impatiently. "And what about all the lawsuits, when party-goers inevitably mistake the magma for a hot tub and go skinny-dipping with a daiquiri? That is, if they don't just drunkenly fall in..."
Bowser raised his big scaly arms in the air. "I dunno, put up some fuckin' guardrails! It's not hard!"
Kamek rubbed his temples.
Bowser cracked his knuckles.
The Magikoopa began trying to talk his boss out of it.
"This idea is preposterous."
"I think it's got panache!"
"It's really bloody ridiculous-"
"It's radical and rash!"
"You're rambunctious-"
"Rather, rakish!"
"It's insane-"
"I know I can make it."
"Sire, please, please, please-"
"It'll be the Stingby's knees!"
"Listen to me, now, Your Highness-"
"I'm the Koopa Kingdom's finest!"
"Could you stop? Really, stop?"
"I most certainly can not."
"That is IT! I am LEAVING!"
"Who cares! I won't stop believing!"
"The decor could be misleading-"
"Well, bitch, looks can be DECEIVING!"
Kamek groaned theatrically and disappeared in a flash.
Some nearby guards clapped after the impromptu sing-off. Someone whistled.
Bowser grinned, finally feeling like he had a direction.
Maybe this crazy idea was his next step?
As Dedede left the castle, some Toads waved goodbye. A few ran up to him and they gave him a parting gift, perched atop a pink cushion they held.
It was a white wing. It had a red letter "P" on it. It didn't appear to be painted, and the wing had a strange texture and look. Dedede found it appeared a bit unnatural. The Toads said it would help him get to his destination more quickly.
The moment he touched it, he felt very strange.
Smoke poofed around him. When it cleared, he felt something attached to his rear.
Twisting as much as he could, he saw a raccoon tail had grown on his body.
"WHAT THE HECK?" he shouted, "DID YOU MUSHROOM GUYS DRUG ME OR SOMETHIN'!?"
He grabbed his head, in panic mode, which was only exacerbated when he felt a pair of stubby ears up there as well. He was going to cry.
One of the Toads said, "Don't worry! It's just a temporary power-up."
Another came forward. "Just run as fast as you can, jump, and wag your tail. Trust us!"
"This- this is crazy," Dedede panted, a rush of relief hitting him after hearing it was only temporary. "At least give a guy a warning!"
"Remember, running start," they repeated, walking away.
And he was alone again. Light spatters of rain had begun to fall now, the beginning of a storm, no doubt. The wind was picking up and the trees were starting to sway.
Dedede took a deep breath. Barely in the Mushroom Kingdom for a couple of hours and he'd already transformed into some kind of chimera. Maybe he should've stayed in Dream Land.
Sighing, and with a new destination in his mind, he nodded to himself. He knew what to do.
The hill he was on was perfect to build up speed.
He ran down it, letting gravity work its magic as he hurried down the slope, taking care not to slip on its damp surface.
Once he felt he couldn't run any faster, he put all of his momentum into a great leap off the ground.
He somehow knew how to control the tail, as if it were muscle memory. He swung it back and forth.
Suddenly, he was rising up into the air!
He could scarcely believe what was happening as he began to fly as if it were as simple as breathing.
Dedede rose up to greet the dark clouds, his silhouette fading into the distant sky.
Night was falling and he was getting tired. The storm clouds swirled, rain pouring so heavily now that it threatened to drown him at times.
The king had been magically flying for awhile now, yet the height still made him nervous. But he managed to keep it together and notice some landmarks that Peach had mentioned to help guide him.
A pipe jungle, with purple ooze bubbling around it. A dry, dry desert with a pyramid and a palace. A beachy inland sea swarming with fish that jumped out of its dark shimmering waters. He passed by them all.
Dedede thought back to his last encounter.
Peach seemed off, like she was putting on a bit of an air. And the Bowser he'd known was more than just a bad guy.
Parts of her story weren't adding up. She was kidnapped HOW many times, yet she'd never bolstered the castle's defenses, or launched a counterattack? Always saved by some guy, but never escaping on her own, despite knowing how to take care of herself in a fight. He knew from personal experience that Bowser could be slapdash, slipshod at times – so how did he manage to keep her captive so consistently? She didn't seem traumatized by the repeated kidnappings, either, though admittedly she could be hiding that. And the way she talked about Bowser, there was a tinge of something beyond anger in her words.
Whatever was going on, maybe it would make more sense, once he got to speak to the other party.
He couldn't believe he was mere minutes away from seeing the Koopa again. Why did he care about this short-lived, potentially one-sided friendship so deeply? Was he really doing this? He could still turn back.
No, he needed this.
Either they were going to be friends, or they were going to be enemies. They could settle the latter option in Smash.
But he had to know.
After the way things had felt, those few dreamlike days...
He had to see what was possible.
Up ahead, he could see something remarkable coming into view, through the raindrops, which were getting lighter now.
Molten lava rivers. Craggy cliff faces, brown and grey, lit red by the deadly liquid. There were trees, but they were black and had no leaves. A desolate, demanding sight. It looked like a land scorched by constant volcanic activity. There was a harsh beauty to it.
The temperature was rising rapidly as he approached. The clouds were still dark, yet the rain slowed to a stop – perhaps it was too hot for precipitation here?
This must be it... It's just how he described...
Confirmation came when a massive castle began to loom over the horizon. Surrounded by a giant moat of lava, the sheer scale of it as it approached was breathtaking.
The castle was all grey brick, but its towers were decorated with spiked, circular black rings, not unlike those familiar shackles.
The drawbridge was closed. He'd have to fly in.
Above the drawbridge, Bowser's face was built out of painted metal, resting atop the entrance like a warning. The mere sight after all these years almost made the penguin drop out of the sky, right then and there.
The heat was becoming apparent, Dedede's increasing sweat evaporating quickly in the dry air, as embers flickered in and out of existence.
The penguin king started his descent, swooping down toward the ramparts.
Then he heard a booming, deafening sound.
It was followed by a high-pitched noise as a cannonball whizzed by, just narrowly missing him.
The cannonball flew behind him and crashed into a tall, spiky rockface, causing it to crumble.
He'd barely recovered from the shock when another cannon fired.
Then another. And another.
Dedede panicked, darting through the air to avoid them. They were attacking him!
Why hadn't he considered the possibility that a giant dragonlike turtle and his army would maybe own some artillery?
Idiot! he thought.
He'd just have to get inside, explain himself. Then everything would be a big, funny misunderstanding.
As he barely dodged another shot, he wondered if maybe he'd miscalculated.
"It's a live one! Unauthorized trespasser in our airspace!" The voice rang loud and commanding, like a general's. "Seize 'em!"
The penguin faltered as he saw swarms of winged silhouettes rising from within the castle walls.
No... I'm so close...
His new foes flew toward him, fading into view. They were smaller than him, but their advantage lied in their numbers.
They appeared to be yellow turtles, miniature versions of Bowser. Their shells lacked spikes like his had, but were a variety of colors – red, green, yellow and even blue.
The assailants wore spiked metal helmets, from within which their eyes glowed. They wielded spears and tridents.
"W-wait! I'm friends with Bowser!" Dedede shouted.
"Yeah right," one of the turtles said. "We've never seen you before!"
They all seemed to have unique movement patterns. The blue ones flew faster and more adeptly. The yellow ones were more aggressive. Given time, Dedede could formulate a strategy.
But time wasn't on his side.
They were flying in fast, swarming him, zooming around. He didn't even have time to pull out his hammer, after hesitating on whether to hurt Bowser's subjects or not. He could barely react, hardly able to focus on dodging one, let alone this many.
Dedede moved as nimbly as he could.
But it wasn't enough. His round, large frame made an easy target for the smaller, faster foes.
Before he knew what was happening, the pain came in fragments, quickly and viciously.
He felt a spear stab into his right arm, drawing blood. He yelped.
A particularly hostile turtle, who'd been circling him, flew up close and punched Dedede in his right eye, dazing the penguin.
More spears grazed him, leaving tears in his robe, and scratches all over his body and face.
Another of the attackers zoomed, spinning in the air, and tackled with his shell, knocking the wind out of him.
Then they seemed to draw away. He looked up and saw the enemies getting smaller.
Dedede realized he was falling.
He tried to use his raccoon tail, but it had disappeared.
He remembered then. One of the Toads had mentioned during tea that those power-up things would disappear if the user was hurt.
Great timing to experience that firsthand.
Dedede turned around to see what was beneath him.
The lava moat was drawing near. Its heat radiated upward, becoming overwhelming.
Dedede sucked in air, trying to fly back up as much as he could. But his self-propelled flight was limited, and his inertia too great. He soon ran out of breath, having managed little more than slowing his fall.
Almost... he thought, I almost made it...
He was inches away from touching the castle walls with his hands. He plummeted down toward his imminent heat death.
I guess this is the end...
Just then, he felt two pairs of hands grab him by the arms, jerking him to a stop only a few feet away from his doom.
He looked up and saw two of the winged attackers gripping him, struggling to keep afloat.
"This one's heavy," one of them grunted. "Reeeeaaal heavy."
"This is gonna kill my back," said the other, straining. "Proper body mechanics ain't enough."
"'Zactly. Let's file for workplace comp after we get 'im into the dungeon."
As the two bantering baddies flew him into the castle, the shock and pain of everything took its toll on Dedede.
He blacked out.
Waking up with a groan, Dedede's puffy eyes strained to open.
The first thing he became aware of was the pain. He was sore all over.
He shifted slightly, realizing he was lying on a warm stone floor. It should've been a cold one, but considering the location, the heat made sense.
His back ached incredibly, his skin was raw from many cuts, and he'd shed a few feathers in his slumber. He could only imagine how he'd look if he had a mirror.
Eyes adjusting to the darkness, he saw prison bars in front of him.
He was in a jail cell.
In Bowser's Castle.
There were no windows, but he felt that it must have been morning by now. The air was stale down here. He grimly rubbed his wrists, which thankfully weren't restrained. Not that it did him any good, unless he could pry those thick, gloomy bars open by hand – an unlikely proposition.
Well, this certainly wasn't how he'd planned to spend his first visit here.
Looking at the featureless, cracked walls around him and outside the tiny cell, lit only by scant, cool blue torches, he thought this visit could also be his last.
Kings generally didn't concern themselves with prisoners in the dungeon. That was merely guard duty. And without Bowser to vouch for him, if he even would...
...he'd be left to rot here.
"A prisoner?" Bowser repeated, incredulous. "Who's stupid enough to be wanderin' around my pad unchaperoned?"
"I don't know," Kamek said. "Perhaps it was a drunk girl who heard about the new 'Koopa Klubhouse,'" he added with a sneer.
"Koopa KABANA," Bowser corrected gruffly.
"Isn't that name taken already? By that Koopa who lives at the seaside?"
Bowser growled. "Ain't no trademark on it. I checked."
Kamek crossed his arms. "Sire, I BEG you to reconsider-"
"Nah," Bowser said, "I reckon I won't."
"But-"
"Shaddap, Kamek," Bowser waved his hand dismissively. He got up out of his throne and walked toward the exit doors.
"W-where are you going? I'm not finished!"
"Yeah y'are. I'm gonna check on our new guest, scare the pants off 'em before I decide what to do. Prolly set 'em free, but at least make sure they know not to mess with Mr. Koopa, King of da Club!"
Bowser lumbered away, ignoring Kamek's exasperated admonitions.
A FEW MINUTES AGO
"Why, why did I think this was a good idea," Dedede mumbled. "Right now, I could be in my own castle, splashin' around in a fountain with a statue of me on it..."
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
His musings were interrupted by a rumble that reverberated through the dungeons, bouncing off the walls. The torches jiggled slightly from it.
"What's that?" he wondered.
It sounded like... footsteps.
Heavy ones.
"I-it couldn't- couldn't be..." Dedede started to hiccup after gulping in too much sudden air.
The waves of panic nestled over him, like a blanket made of electricity. Not this again.
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
He heard someone calling out, in a gravelly low pitch that had a teasing, malicious quality to it.
"Weeeellllll, helllloooo therrrrree! Is anybody down here in this loooonely pit of despair?"
That voice...
Dedede huffed, pushing himself frantically up to a sitting position, bringing his back to the corner of the cell walls.
"I can sure smell whoever it is! Smells tasty... like blueberries! Now that I think of it, I sure am hungry... drooling... practically staaaaarrrving..."
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
The penguin hugged himself at the knees, shaking. Not now, not now! Relax, you fool! He's just messing with me... right?
"I wonder if you taste as good as you smell... Oooonly one way to find out, I suppose," the voice echoed, bouncing off the walls as the heavy footsteps meandered through the dungeon, taking their time.
Dedede took deep, gasping breaths that echoed through the dank corridors outside his cell.
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
"Awwww..." the voice mocked. "Is somebody scared? Pooooor little thing."
The voice was drawing nearer and nearer, the footsteps louder and louder.
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
"That's smart. You should be VERY afraid."
The penguin could feel the footfalls vibrating through his body. His arms started to hurt.
"Where aaarrrrreeeee yoooooooouuuuuu...?"
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
Trying to stand up, he slid right back down, too dizzy to stay upright.
"I'm gonna getcha... and when I do... you'll wish you never came here!"
THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP ... THUMP
The footsteps rumbled louder than ever. They were closing in. Dedede bit his lip, trying to yell out, to identify himself, to scavenge any sense of dignity, but no words would form.
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Can't I at least know who I'm meeting for breakfast this morn-"
THUMP ... THUMP
The footsteps stopped in front of the cell.
"W-wha!? Wait, is that-"
A FEW SECONDS AGO
Dedede had his head pressed into his knees, hiding his visage. He knew it was time. This moment would decide the rest of his life, or lack thereof.
His fear was quelled, not completely, but enough to face this moment, as he steeled himself with what little reserves of determination remained. He clenched and contorted his facial muscles, fixing his expression to hide the anxiety upon it.
Dedede raised his head, a newfound look of dominance and courage in his eyes. A look of defiance. Of power. The look a true king should be able to wield.
He looked up at the bars. What was on the other side of them.
Dedede locked eyes with Bowser, for the first time in five years.
The Koopa's mouth was agape, his pupils constricted, eyes glinting in the lonely light, a look of pure shock that Dedede had never witnessed before.
Dedede managed to bark out one dry sentence, but it took everything he had left. "I-it's me, fucker."
Bowser stumbled backward, knocking a torch off the wall. It fell to the floor with a loud clatter.
The Koopa couldn't believe his eyes. In front of him, in his castle... Dedede!?
The penguin looked battered and beaten, with a black eye, cuts and scratches all over his face and chest... he was trembling, his breath appearing rigorously controlled, as if he could lose hold of it at any moment. His clothes were torn and bloody, and he was covered in dirt from lying on the cell floor.
What should have been a happy sight, instead broke his heart.
Seeing the penguin in this state... he knew it was his fault. His guards had done this.
Bowser's brain completely shut off. This... this couldn't be happening.
The Koopa barely managed to activate his vocal chords, stammering, "D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-"
Dedede snapped at him with a raspy voice. "O-okay, now yer just m-making fun of me! My name d-doesn't have that many Ds and y-you know it!"
Bowser blinked, regaining some control of his jaw, shortening the length of his surprised mouth by a smidge. "Y-you... you're here..."
Dedede stayed silent, seemingly trying to conserve his energy. Speaking appeared a challenge for him at the moment.
Bowser could only repeat himself, blankly. "You're... here... You're here..."
"Yeah, I-I think we freakin' e-established that, g-genius! N-now are you gonna let me out, or kill me? Choose quick, I h-haven't got all day!"
The Koopa tried to resist the tears building in his eyes. How could this be possible?
But Dedede's words shook him to action.
He yelled down the hall as best he could, with a strained volume that barely carried through the silent halls, struggling to find his voice. The arrogance and assertiveness he'd had just moments prior had vanished. "G-guards! The keys to the cell! B-BRING THEM! NOW!"
Two Koopa prison guards' voices could be heard, talking amongst themselves.
"This one?"
"No, that's for cell block M."
"Then what about these?"
"Those are the keys to the janitor's closet."
"Maybe one of those..."
Bowser began to freak out, losing control of himself. This couldn't go on a minute longer.
"GRRRRAAAAHHHHH! IF YOU USELESS IDIOTS CAN'T EVEN DO YOUR JOB, GET THE HELL OUT!"
The other voices silenced instantly, their footsteps pattering as they scurried away in terror.
The Koopa King spewed fire into the air, roaring.
The red flames emitting from his maw added to the light of the lonely blue torches, creating an almost purple, haunting expression of rage.
"RRRRRRRAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!"
He grabbed the black metal rods which enclosed the cell.
Veins bulged on his neck and arms as his chest, biceps and forearms flexed. His nostrils flared and his teeth bared viciously, his muzzle curling up into a snarl.
He was separating the heavy iron bars with his bare hands.
They put up some resistance at first, Bowser straining and growling, smoke fuming from his nostrils, as he forced them to move through sheer brute strength and power of will.
The iron was creaking and bending, the stone around the rods crumbling, as they broke off from the surrounding structure.
They bent to his demand, from the middle outward, starting to form a gap in the barricade.
"GRRRRRAAAAAARRRRHHH!"
Finally, in an incredibly muscular display, he completely pried the poles apart, separating them from the floor below and the threshold above with a loud crunching noise, three in each large hand.
Bricks fell down from the ceiling, dust rising in their wake, as Bowser held the detached prison bars in his hands as if they were nothing more than pool noodles.
Dedede's eyes widened, his heart rate accelerating to a new high as he watched the scene unfold.
The dust cleared, and Bowser stood there, catching his breath, a look of pure animal rage in his eyes. His arms flexed and sweat glistened on him as he held the bent and broken metal rods for a moment, before dropping them with a deafening clang that reverberated through the entire dungeon.
All of the penguin's upset feelings disappeared... for the moment. The current visuals and events were taking priority. He was speechless.
Even odds I'm about to be either swallowed whole or hugged.
Bowser stomped in, kicking rubble out of his way, and picked Dedede up from the floor in one swift motion, catching the penguin off guard.
"W-waagh!" Dedede gulped. "W-w-what's happening!?"
Bowser looked down into his eyes and grinned his signature toothy grin, a sight unseen for half a decade, causing Dedede to completely melt into a puddle inside.
However, his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
The Koopa King rumbled aggressively, his heavy, strained breaths beating down onto the penguin, whom he held like a prized possession.
"Sorry to keep ya waiting!"
END OF PROLOGUE