A/N: I likely don't need to put this warning since this is rated M for Mature…with that said things get steamy in this chapter, and my wife's writing can get quite…intense ;D So just be warned, this is a smut chapter.
Once the unusual trio were settled inside, Mikasa made some tea for everyone as they sat in the living room. At this point it was dusk and it had begun raining outside, the drops could be heard against the roof and it had become slightly colder. Mikasa sat down quietly next to Armin, keeping her cardigan on and sipping her tea slowly. She looked at him a few times, wanting to bring up her anxiety and her concerns about him leaving...but she also didn't know how to form her anxiety into proper words.
So instead she chose to focus on Hange, who was sitting across from them on the other couch. Mikasa gently set her cup down on the table and exhaled. Armin sensed a tension lingering within Mikasa's posture, looking at her a few times, but only meeting her anxious glance once. He frowned slightly, keeping his silence as he allowed the two girls to talk. Naturally, his hand moved to reach over toward hers on the table. Carefully, he grasped it softly, moving to give it a firm squeeze. When he was able to grab her attention, he allowed his lips to form into a small reassuring smile. Mikasa appreciated his gesture, gently squeezing his hand back before looking at Hange.
"How's everyone been doing...? Last I knew the Jaegerists had made Paradis nearly unlivable but...I haven't heard much since then. Are the others okay..? And what about Marley..?" Mikasa found herself asking way more questions than she initially planned on, but she was desperate to no longer be in the dark about things.
Hange seemed rather fixated on her tea, immediately moving to grab it before placing the rim of the cup to her lips and sipping the warm liquid. Her time in the boat wasn't a pleasurable one, and the warmth from the tea had been much needed. Although she was enjoying it, her frown seemed to take over her features, and she silently moved to place the cup back down on the table. She looked to Armin, nodding in understanding, recognizing the lack of details he had given his friend.
"Armin's been right to keep details from you. Eren's little cult has put us in quite a predicament, and Marley wants us all dead…more than ever. It isn't often we're faced with succession, rather.. failure has been quite normal. We've lost a lot of our comrades purely through the sadistic ways. Some don't even get to open their eyes from sleep to fight." Hange began to explain, a somber tone lingering over her harsh words as she turned her head towards the window, allowing the droplets falling against the glass to distract her slightly.
"I've seen more bloodshed in my time as a commander than I did when Titans were the only problem. We've been faced with the reality of cruel humanity, and it's kicked our asses."
"Eren is a childhood friend for both of you. And there was a time when I believed he was our answer. Instead.. he's become our enemy and turned our people against us with that bullshit lie. Now knowing that he's alive… those Jaegerists will be attacking full force. I wouldn't be surprised if we had plenty of casualties just as soon as I had left." Hange continued, moving to take a sip from her tea again, leaning her elbows against the table as she allowed her head to drop slightly.
"Eren's and your so-called deaths have been hard on them. And none of us have been able to adjust simply because of that. Now with Armin gone.. my soldiers were shattered. They have lost their courage and were grasping onto the broken string of humanity. I wish I could provide you better news.. but we've been in a living hell." She finished, reaching to take another sip of tea.
Mikasa's face fell, though she wasn't at all surprised. Hearing Hange speak about how Armin's absence has affected everyone also didn't ease her anxieties. If anything, it amplified them. She knew it was selfish to ask Armin to stay. She knew it wasn't right. But...she didn't want him to leave her.
"I...I truly don't understand why Eren resumed his plans. When we left Marley and built this cabin, he stopped talking entirely about the war and Marley. He seemed to just...want to forget about it all. It was peaceful...and he was...content. The most content I think I've ever seen him. It was like he was a whole different person. No longer angry...not even sad. He was just...at peace…" Mikasa went quiet for a second, recalling that year of tranquility…but very quickly, reality caught back up with her.
"But then…I found out we were having a baby. I was feeling sick and got it confirmed at the village doctor here. I went home to tell him right away...and..there was a sudden shift in his eyes…I could see everything from our past he had been suppressing come flooding back…but he said he was fine. Then, early the next morning he was gone and so was his horse. All he left me was this vague letter..." Mikasa picked the letter up from the end table where it had stayed and outstretched her hand for Hange to examine it.
Hange leaned forward slightly, looking downwards to carefully scan the letter, cocking a brow at the harshness of his vague words. She was still surprised to see Eren in the state that he was in, and it was almost hard to believe that years prior.. he was so hopeful and courageous towards the cause. Now.. he was willing to drop his family if it meant he was going to resume this plan of his, which in itself had been riddled with too much bloodshed.
"I don't doubt he loved you… but clearly, he felt that it was more important to leave his family behind, knowing damn well that he would see his comrades fall. This man is a monster, and I'm not even sure we can stop him anymore." Hange replied hopelessly, sliding the letter back towards Mikasa before leaning back slightly.
"The harsh truth is…he abandoned you. Left you to birth and mother his child. All by yourself. He sure as hell didn't send for Armin, you did. You had to get help by yourself. He didn't even tell me until you were far in…not to mention he stumbled on me by complete accident…" She added a protective tone of Mikasa laced in her words. Her words left a somber silence for several seconds, as Mikasa allowed these words to sink in.
"How's Sasha? Jean?" Armin chimed in quietly, turning his head towards his commander once more, noticing the frown grow slightly more on her face.
"Sasha hasn't eaten since you left. Jean and them have been digging at the dirt on the ground hoping to find something that will point to why you disappeared." Hange responded honestly. Mikasa's head slightly jerked up at the mention of Sasha not eating and she felt her heart shatter. The mere idea of that felt unnatural.
"I told them to not worry about me, and to move on from this whole thing… I couldn't leave Mikasa here alone. Not with the letter I got.. and the condition she was in." Armin explained, feeling his voice drop with somber emotion, his brows furrowing slightly as he turned to Mikasa with a worried frown. "I'm loyal to them, but I.."
"You're loyal to what matters to you. There's nothing wrong with that. But you were the last hope that some of them had. And they now must move forward, hoping to provide justice for you… wherever you were, dead or alive. I won't get on my knees and beg for your return… I have no right to draw you away from Mikasa in her state.. but you should find a way to let them know that you are okay." Hange suddenly interrupted Armin, clearly disinterested in whatever poetic way he had to explain his reasons for recent actions. She blinked, turning her focus towards the window once more, finishing off her tea with one final gulp.
"Hange's right, Armin. We should at least somehow let them know we're okay." Mikasa agreed firmly, hating to think of her best friend grieving like that so heavily, only for there to be no reason for it. She had finished her tea as well, setting down her cup.
Armin felt his shatter at the thought, his head lowering slightly in guilt as he rested his elbow on the table. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, shaking his head a bit as he attempted to clear the jumbled thoughts running through his mind.
"You're right… I can't leave them there suffering like that. I know that pain all too well…" Armin responded softly, straightening his posture once more before he turned towards Hange. "I just didn't want anyone to find out where I was going. I know they mean well.. but they wouldn't exactly be too quiet if it was for my safety."
"We don't have a spare room but you're welcome to sleep in the living room for tonight. If you decide to stay longer, we can pick you up proper bedding tomorrow in town." She offered to Hange gently, resting her hand on her swollen belly, and feeling the baby start kicking.
Hange nodded silently in response, feeling her exhaustion from the trip weigh her down slightly. She pulled her glasses from her eyes, moving to rub the exhaustion pulling at her eyelids. Slowly, she smiled towards Mikasa, nodding her head in gratitude.
"I am happy to rest wherever for the night. And please, Don't make any special trips just for me. I'll be happy to purchase my own.. by the looks of it, you need to be resting….how far along are you, anyway?" Hange asked curiously.
Mikasa looked down softly, her hand slowly caressing her belly as she felt the baby kick some more.
"I think...I'm about eight months along. It's been getting harder to keep track of the months honestly, but I'm certain that's where I'm at. Armin's...been amazing in taking care of me. I don't know what I'd do without him." She admitted, before giving Armin a warm smile as she said this.
As it got later, and after bringing Hange a blanket and pillow from the closet, Mikasa and Armin retired to the bedroom for the night as the rain pounded against the roof. With the night approaching quickly, Hange had easily passed out on the couch, snoring soundly as she got some much-needed sleep she had been lacking in for a while. The trip had been hard on her, and with the mix of that as well as months in Marley, this was a much-needed break to be able to sleep without worrying about a knife to your throat.
In the bedroom, Mikasa sat down on the bed, her mind racing frantically. She thought that her anxiety would calm down once she was in the bedroom with Armin but her heartbeat only seemed to increase. She felt antsy…and extremely restless. Hange's and Armin's words about Eren kept repeating in her mind, as she could feel her head becoming a jumbled mess.
Suddenly, it felt like the red scarf that once brought her so much warmth and comfort, was now suffocating her. Chaining her, preventing her from thinking for herself. Like a red serpent squeezing tightly around her neck, with Eren's emerald eyes on the snake's face…
Mikasa shook her head, before suddenly tugging her scarf off, removing it, and setting it on the bedside table a bit hard, looking away from it as she attempted to clear her thoughts of anxiety.
Armin noticed this as he entered the bedroom, watching as she removed her scarf suddenly, practically slamming it down on the bedside table. He looked at her with a worried frown, immediately rushing to her side before wrapping his arm around her. His hand gently ran up her back slightly, carefully caressing her reassuringly.
"Mikasa… are you okay? You're tense.." Armin pointed out quietly, allowing his voice to remain soft, hoping that the gentle tone would soothe her slightly. He wisely chose not to bring up the matter of the scarf.
"I...I'm fine...I just..." Mikasa bit her lip, struggling to form words as she sighed, leaning back slightly to release some of the tension in her lower back. Finally, she reached down and squeezed Armin's hand tightly, before turning her head away to hide the uncontrollable tears that began to fill her eyelids without her consent. All the energy she spent into keeping herself from being angry at Eren, had formed into frustrated tears.
Eren leaving had frustrated…and hurt her immensely..but she tried hard to suppress her anger. It was…difficult for Mikasa to become truly angry at Eren. But these last several months have been testing even her limits. On top of that, her anxiety about losing Armin had also struck something within Mikasa.
"A..Are you going back..? Once the baby is here..?" She finally asked, her voice cracking as she struggled hard to swallow back any sobs.
She couldn't understand why she had become so weak recently. She used to be able to mask so well...hide her emotions and keep herself mentally stable and from breaking down. Sure there were the pregnancy hormones, but somehow this felt far more intense. Like years of suppressing her feelings and bottling them up had become too much and now, whatever had been keeping the flood gates locked up, had suddenly been broken, as a tidal wave came bursting out with no sign of slowing down.
The question struck Armin like a venomous snake bite, causing him to fall silent for a moment as he swallowed heavily. He blinked a few times, listening to the emotional shatter in her voice, which caused his own heart to sting., practically suffocating him with emotion. After years of being put on the back burner by his friends, and learning how to hide his own emotions from the two of them… Armin had been met with the perfect opportunity to finally allow his heart to grow its wings of freedom, and cry out its emotional song. However.. something had kept him from allowing it to free itself from its chains, and he continued to hesitate when it came to Mikasa.. whether it was out of respect for Mikasa's grievances, or his anxieties imprisoning him once more. Slowly, he squeezed Mikasa's hand in response, silently showing her that he had listened to her words.. and was attempting to process the flooding emotions himself.
The truth stood there, in all of its essence. Armin had selfishly considered returning to Paradis in hopes of providing some sort of peace for his comrades in the scouts.. but he had forgotten to even consider how close the two of them had gotten over the few months he had been here, and how hard it would be to have her other friend leave.
Slowly, he blinked away the tears swelling in his own eyes, inhaling shakily as he moved to wrap his arms around her carefully. He embraced her tightly, allowing his hands to fall on her stomach, while caressing it gently. He pressed his body against hers and nestled his head on her shoulder. His own emotions had crashed down, and he felt his body acting entirely off of desire, his grasp tightening slightly.
"No Mikasa… I made a promise to you… I'm not going to leave you or the baby alone.. this isn't going to be like Eren… you won't have to spend a single night alone anymore… I'll make sure of that.." Armin reassured softly, allowing his voice to crack with emotion as he hid his face in the back of her shoulder, allowing a few of his tears to escape.
"Nothing going to happen… I swear on my life.."
His assurance brought comfort to Mikasa, as she finally turned to face him, wiping the tears from her eyes as her heart skipped a beat at his grasp. She could feel her body naturally leaning further against him as she allowed herself to slowly relax. She shifted even closer, looking up into his ocean-blue eyes, her heart beating loudly in her chest. She exhaled, at a loss for words for a moment before slowly reaching her hand up to grip his front, pulling him even closer to her, their faces inching away.
For the first time, the two started to see something different in each other. While once childhood friends, their feelings…had gradually shifted. Mikasa no longer saw that timid, scared, and bullied little kid she would rush to protect in Shiganshina. She saw a man with a purpose, and determination in his eyes, and despite the hardships he endured, there was love and compassion in them as well. Armin no longer saw the almost inhumanly strong warrior, who would easily cut down titans and rush off to danger to protect himself or Eren…but instead, he saw a woman, who had been broken down and pushed to her limits…and despite all of that, she remained so very beautiful both in her appearance and her spirit. There was a new softness to Mikasa, that Armin could only catch blurry glimpses of in the past, as there was a newfound strength to Armin that Mikasa only caught glimpses of in the past as well. The two were seeing each other in a whole different light, for the first time.
Mikasa felt a sting of guilt…being held by Armin like this, his arm over her shoulders…their faces so close..it felt like she was replacing Eren. But…she couldn't stop. This felt…so natural, so comforting.
"I…I know it's selfish...and it feels like I'm betraying Eren...but I want you to stay. I...need you, Armin." her wording hung in the air, as a new type of tension seemed to suddenly linger between them both.
It was a tension that Mikasa, having been somewhat experienced with Eren, recognized immediately. Armin, on the other hand, who had no experience like this, took a few extra seconds to fully understand it. But like Mikasa, he instantly felt it.
Armin's glance widened as he took a few moments to study the beautiful shade of her eyes while the silence lingered between them. With the tears in her eyes, there had been a beautiful shine to them, which held a somber tone… but offered such a beauty, which had practically drawn Armin to stall his breath. He felt his heart pound against his chest, and his gut fluttered gently as he kept his face dangerous closer to hers. At first, he had entirely lost his ability to speak, feeling a warmth flush across his cheeks as he continued to study her beauty up close. Desire had continued to grow, and a soft shaky exhale escaped his parted lips.
"I. I need you too Mikasa…you're not betraying Eren…he left you… you're only following what your heart desires…" Armin whispered in response, finding means to justify what they were possibly about to do. He allowed his own heart to give in to the new tension lingering in the air. Carefully, his hands reached up to cup both of her cheeks, his forehead leaning against hers gently.
"I'm not leaving you…" He promised quietly.
Mikasa's eyes expressed immense relief at Armin's words, feeling her forward press against his. Her heart continued beating fast in her chest, and for the longest moment, they remained like that. Longingly gazing into each other's eyes, their hearts pounding louder than the raindrops against the roof. Mikaa was the first to give in fully.
She had been fighting them these past few months...feeling like she was betraying Eren, just for even thinking this way since Armin arrived. Eren and Mikasa had been married, unofficially, but still...she was his wife. And here she was...not only sharing a bed with another man but his best friend. But once again…the harsh fact remained. The one Armin told her when he first arrived, and the one Hange further hammered this evening…Eren abandoned her. And their child. That was an undeniable fact, regardless of his reasons. He couldn't have left her at a worse time. Had he been wanting to leave for some time…? And decided to use Mikasa's pregnancy as an excuse so she couldn't follow him? Or did he plan this…? Was that why…they seemed to make love quite often, especially in the last two months leading up to Eren leaving…
Mikasa shook her head…the thought made her sick…but part of her didn't feel like Eren would do that. It felt too far, even for him. But still…regardless if impregnating her was an intentional part of his plan, or simply a happy accident for him to leave without her able to stay at his side, or maybe it was as simple as him not wanting to leave until it happened…she wasn't sure…but the fact remained. He abandoned her. He abandoned them.
This still felt wrong...and yet she couldn't stop her body. Every fiber of her wanted to be with Armin. It was as if something had shifted in her feelings. She still loved Eren...despite what he did…despite everything…which made her mind a confused mess. But...she wanted Armin…and on top of that…if Eren was to suddenly burst into the room...Mikasa couldn't say for certain she would choose him over Armin. And that thought both terrified her and gave her some clarity.
Armin gazed into Mikasa's eyes, as his thoughts began to wander. Years of being the least considered, sleepless nights where he had spent hours convincing himself that his emotions towards Mikasa had been wrong. selfish even. All of this pain and heartbreak, sitting back while he watched the love blossom bittersweetly in between his two closest best friends, only to be met with the sad reality that he would never get the same... for his heart remained loyal to one. Sure, he had expressed his interest in Annie numerous times, but nothing felt as genuine as it did towards Mikasa. All of this had faded away the moment he stared longingly into her eyes, studying the generosity that was held within them and the sadness that lingered within her just at the simple thought of him leaving her. Slowly, their faces grew closer and closer, and he could hear his pounding heartbeat echoing in his ears as the gentle patter of the rain trickled around them, adding a gentle rhythm to the silence between them.
Armin knew this was wrong, and he knew that as soon Eren would find out what he did.. he was surely going to face his wrath, and maybe that was the fate he deserved. But.. after spending so much alone time with Mikasa, the emotions in his heart had pooled over. With a mix of hatred towards Eren for leaving such a beautiful soul, as well as the desire to take her for his own and prove to her how much better he was, everything had become too overwhelming. Now, his body had only worked towards what it wanted, entirely ignoring the consequences it would face later.
Finally…Mikasa leaned forward slightly and her lips had pressed against Armin's, as her arms wrapped gently around his neck, unable to stop herself.
Armin allowed his lips to collide with hers in a kiss that had been yearned after for years. All of his emotions from all this time had fallen into his embrace, as his thumbs gently moved to wipe the tears staining her cheeks. His hands then pulled from her face, lifting to run his fingers through her long black hair, while his free arm moved down to wrap around the curve in her back, pressing her body against his, being gentle with her swollen belly.
Mikasa relaxed in his arms, feeling an immense wave of release in the tension. It was obvious very quickly that it hadn't just been her fighting back her feelings. She had the natural anxiety it was only her who held these feelings between them, never once had she suspected Armin was interested in her in this way, she had been convinced he only had eyes for Annie. Though...it wasn't like he could get much out of a comatose crystal.
As she let her anxieties and thoughts melt away, Mikasa deepened the passionate kiss between them and found herself removing her cardigan, letting it slide off her shoulders, beginning to feel herself grow overheated. She also moved her hand to let her hair down out of its tie, running down her back. Finally, the two broke the kiss to catch their breath. Mikasa exhaled, gazing longingly into Armin's eyes.
"Armin...I..." she was at a loss for words at first.
"Are you okay with this, Mikasa..? We can stop at any point.." Armin gently assured her, wanting to make sure she was consenting and comfortable with this strange but wonderful situation they ended up in. Mikasa gazed into his eyes, before kissing him again.
"Yes…" She answered him breathlessly, giving her consent as they continued to make out.
Armin melted against the kiss, allowing their lips to dance in a moment of passionate desire, feeling himself grow overheated as he allowed the moment between them to define his actions moving forward. His hand gently brushed through her hair as she let it down, letting it flow beautifully against her frame as if it were a beautiful black waterfall flowing against her back. His hands then slid down to her waist, grasping it gently as he carefully leaned his chest against hers, allowing their warmth to collide as they continued their passionate kiss.
Finally, when Mikasa pulled from the kiss, Armin took a few moments to catch his breath, panting softly as he opened his eyes to look deeply into hers. Something had shifted in between them, and it had shown within Mikasa's flushed face and loving eyes. He now knew where his heart stood, and that realization had sparked a fire deep within him. Armin remained in control though, allowing Mikasa to fully control how far this moment between them would go. Despite his own needs, Armin knew the scenario they had placed themselves in, and how confusing it could be emotionally for Mikasa. Carefully, he moved to brush her hair out of her face, giving her a warm reassuring smile as he leaned his head against hers, keeping his hand firmly grasped on her waist.
"It's alright Mikasa..." Armin's words whispered out reassuringly, his immediate need to care for her chiming in his words as he carefully moved to caress her cheek. He then carefully leaned in, moving to peck her soft cheek gently, wrapping his arms around her in a soft embrace.
Mikasa's frantic thoughts seemed to instantly be quieted and soothed at Armin's words. Just simply being told it was alright...it took a massive weight off her shoulders and she could feel her own needs growing more and more demanding. She could feel herself panting, as her heart pounded. Without saying anything, she pressed her lips to Armin's again, this time much harder and needily. She gripped his front and found herself gently pushing Armin down on his back, taking a bit of the lead on this.
Armin opened his eyes in surprise at her on top of him now, before managing to find his words.
"M…Mikasa…um…you should know… it's…my first time.." He confessed, feeling his cheeks flush as he felt some embarrassment at admitting this, given they were both already twenty. Mikasa's face softened, as she gently caressed Armin's cheek, gazing down at him lovingly.
"I know…it's okay Armin…" She spoke softly, her voice laced with a sensual tone that Armin never heard out of her before…and it was one he could become addicted to easily.
Mikasa ran her fingers through his hair, her body naturally moving on top of his some more, positioning her hips to align with his. She exhaled shakily, removing her gown and now just in a bra. She then leaned down, kissing Armin again, much deeper this time, as she guided his hand to one of her breasts, before releasing a small groan.
Armin smirked slightly against the kiss, groaning out as he felt her weight press against his, his own needs roaring out for her. He pulled away from the kiss for a moment but didn't pull his face from hers as he allowed his smirk to remain on his lips. He looked at her lovingly, watching as she positioned herself against him. This alone had caused a spark to shoot through his whole body, causing his head to lean back as a soft groan erupted from his chest, coming out much lower than his normal speaking voice.
His eyes opened once more, moving to study her beauty amidst its most natural form. His hand naturally reached up, tracing her form as if he were studying the finest sculpture from artists much older than time itself. His fingers carefully caressed her soft skin, before he felt his hand be guided towards one of her breasts. Armin wasted no time, gently grasping her breast firmly in his hand. He then worked at massaging it carefully, pushing his upper half upwards towards her. He then moved to settle his head into the crook of her neck, placing gentle kisses across her skin, as his hand reached up to grab her other breast, massaging both of them carefully while his thumbs gently brushed against her sensitive nipples. His warm breath gently ran down her neck, while he continued to paint kisses down her neck and onto her shoulder.
Mikasa groaned softly, unlike many girls who would release high-pitched moans and whimpers,, she seemed to groan and grunt more but it was obvious by her noises and soft gasps that she was enjoying this immensely. She bit back a small gasp…surprised to feel Armin was definitely bigger than Eren. Unable to wait any longer, she positioned her hips in line with Armin's, having to adjust a bit with her swollen abdomen, and before long she had lowered herself on him, feeling his firmness stretch and fill her, as she began expertly riding him, moving her hips in all the right ways, as the room became filled with their groans and moans.
Armin felt her weight shift onto him more, before a shot of pleasure sparked through him, causing his muscles to tense as his back arched upwards towards her. Naturally, his hips began to grind against hers, quickly falling into a rhythm as he continued to growl out lowly in his pleasure. The weight of her swollen abdomen had pushed her down further onto him, causing him to throw his head back as he parted his lips in a loud groan. His sudden noise of pleasure caused butterflies to form in Mikasa's stomach.
During her lovemaking with Eren…while it had been nice…there were some serious notable differences with Armin. Apart from the size difference, Armin made noise…something Mikasa didn't realize would turn her on so much. Eren…had been rather silent in bed, maybe making a small noise when he climaxed…but that was it.
It got increasingly hot in the bedroom, as the bed began to squeak loudly under them. Mikasa could feel her climax already rapidly approaching, which both surprised and thrilled her. Between the combination of Armin's size and his noises of pleasure, she began panting heavily, feeling her shoulders tense and within minutes she groaned lowly, grimacing as she came. Her afterglow high was brief though, and she was quickly resuming. Mikasa had always had impressive stamina, and this included her activities in the bedroom.
"M… mikasa… urngh…" Armin groaned out in between her thrusts, his hands reaching out to grab onto her hips, guiding her carefully as he began to thrust upwards into her, feeling herself tighten around him as she climaxed.
Her tightness quickly drew Armin's climax to peak, causing him to practically roar out in pleasure, unable to stop his thrusts as he moved to embrace her tightly, panting heavily as he pushed through his stamina, clearly wanting to keep this going as long as possible.
The two grew louder and more intense as the night went on, and Mikasa experienced orgasm after orgasm. Mikasa groaned lowly, panting heavily as she could feel another orgasm building fast.
"A...Armin...hnngh..." She grunted softly, panting faster before reaching her strongest orgasm yet, her muscles tensing tightly on him as she threw her head back, moaning louder as her body rode out the climax.
Armin's groans mixed with Mikasa's as they continued throughout the night, as Armin continued to face the exact pleasure he had yearned for all of these years. The closer they got, the tighter Armins embrace got around her, as his head moved to lean lovingly against her chest. He kissed her skin in between groans, his fingers gently dragging down her back as his final climax crashed down on him.
Suddenly, he thrust himself upwards into her for one final time, shoving himself as deep as he could into her while his entire body froze in a crashing climax. He groaned out against her skin, feeling his muscles tremble lightly as he rode out his heavy orgasm.
Finally, he felt Mikasa's weight collapse onto his chest, and he carefully moved to lay back with her. His arms wrapped around her reassuringly, and he moved to place a gentle kiss on her head. Carefully, he hushed her, whispering soft praises to her as he continued to caress her shaking body.
Mikasa panted heavily, taking a moment to recover. She reached her hand down to feel her belly to ensure such intense lovemaking didn't trigger early labor...but so far everything felt normal from what she could tell at the least. Exhaling sharply, Mikasa nuzzled against the warmth of Armin's chest, breathing deeply and trying to gather her thoughts.
Finally, after several minutes of this, she found her words.
"How long Armin…? That you've…felt this way..?" She asked, her voice higher than usual. Armin was always an expert at hiding his feelings, and while for the most part, Mikasa didn't suspect anything, there were times when the gut feeling occurred. But she had been so focused on Eren...she had been blind to what was right in front of her.
Armin carefully moved to peck her cheek softly, brushing her hair out of her face as he studied her features for a moment, taking in her beauty as her long hair lay sprawled against his chest. At first, he didn't respond to her rambling, simply smiling softly as he leaned his head against the pillows, tightening his grip on her.
"Since our time in the cadets. My love for you was selfish at first… I wanted you all for myself… to pull you from Eren and run away… but I quickly realized that this was a fantasy I couldn't live out… so… my heart turned to finding happiness within your own. Wherever you were… whoever you ended up with… as long as you were happy. I was content…" Armin explained softly, letting his smile remain plastered on his lips as he heaved a soft sigh.
Suddenly, a frown fell upon his face, as his hands reached up to grasp her tightly, hugging her closely against him as he leaned his head against hers.
"Then… I found out you two had died… and I had lost my purpose in this world… I was very close to accepting any suicide mission if it meant I was going to see you smile again… I'm glad I didn't…" Armin continued, feeling his voice strain slightly with his emotion, his eyes blinking away the tears attempting to form within them.
"I didn't want to hear that Eren left you alone like this… but honestly…maybe it was a good thing…disguised horribly of course but… no matter what happens moving forward… at least you'll know what it feels like to be fully loved… by someone who would give up his world just to be around you…" Armin concluded, closing his eyes as he melted against the sheets, a sense of relief falling over him as he felt a tension release itself after all of these years.
For once, he was fully relaxed, and his mind wasn't racing with uncertainty. For however long this may last, it surely was going to be a moment he would never forget. Finally, he had happily expressed his love for her, and the constant neglectful feeling would be pushed aside. He despised Eren for his departure, but he couldn't help but feel grateful for him showing his true colors.. providing Armin a chance he never thought he'd get.
Mikasa felt immense comfort from his words, and also a sting of guilt for still feeling confused and harboring feelings for Eren. And for the first time, she found her heart torn in two. Between both boys she had grown up with, she had grown so close to...and now a simple friendship trio had become extremely complicated and messy.
Mikasa wished things were simpler...she knew the longer Eren stayed away, the closer she and Armin would grow. And what if something happened to Armin? Where would that leave her and her child? She didn't know...but what she did understand for certain was that right now, in this moment she felt loved. And she wanted things to stay this way, it was peaceful.
Armin noticed that look in her eyes, recognizing that her mind had been racing intensely, causing her to entirely lose her focus on anything else. He knew that this night had placed a complex tension between a once inseparable trio of friends, and he knew that Mikasa's love for Eren hadn't entirely been grieved. Selfishness had been something he was able to let go of, especially after all of these years running with the scouts.. he knew better than to give into his desires, especially when it came to those he had loved.
In the end, Armin knew that Mikasa didn't choose to love Eren.. and that was a burden she had to carry on her own accord. This all has been far too hard on her, and to ask her for anything other than what she was able to provide would have been torture for her. Carefully, Armin sat up, holding Mikasa firmly against his chest.
"Listen… I know all of this is a lot right now… please know that no matter what happens… I still love you... I'm not going to leave you… no matter what… I will torture my heart if it means that you feel as loved and peaceful as you do now." Armin confessed softly, moving to caress her cheek as he gently laid back against the pillows once more, smiling at her.
"Just… let me hold you for a moment longer…" he pleaded softly, tightening his grip on her as he heaved a heavy sigh, closing his eyes carefully.
Mikasa's eyes softened as she nuzzled against Armin's chest, exhaling shakily.
"I'm sorry...I just...want things to stay like this. I...I almost don't want Eren to return...I want things to stay simple...how they are now. The only change I can handle is the baby arriving..." Mikasa confessed, allowing herself to be weak around Armin. Something quite rare.
Armin looked towards the ceiling, allowing her warmth to collide with his as he closed his eyes for a moment, recognizing the softness in her voice, as well as her moment of immense weakness.
"I don't want Eren to come back either… the last thing you need is to be worrying about him and the baby… but you just focus on resting… let me provide you the safety and comfort you need…." Armin confessed softly to her, hoping that his agreeing opinion would help her feel a little less small in such a complex situation.
Slowly, Mikasa's eyelids began to feel heavy and her body started to go limp against Armin. Exhaustion was taking over, and shortly after Mikasa drifted to sleep against Armin. Even in her deep sleep, her unborn baby was moving quite a lot but amazingly Mikasa managed to sleep through it.
Armin remained awake until he felt Mikasa's body shift slightly as she drifted fully to sleep. He then moved to drift off into his slumber, feeling a moment's peace as he slept entirely through the night without any sort of distractions waking him.