A rippling boom raced across the sky, as Ash's Pidgeot danced in the air over Kanto Bay.

Down below, on the deck of a cruise ship, Ash smiled. There were a lot of tourists on the ship, and it seemed like they were all out to watch her enjoy herself.

It was nice when she got a chance to cut loose.

"Hey, Ash!" Gary called, from a deck below, then came hurrying up the stairs with one hand on the rail. "Nice to see you taking a break from being a trainer!"

"Who said this was a break?" Ash asked. "The last few weeks, that was more like a break!"

He looked back at the shore. "Honestly it was kind of weird. But I'm going to Cinnabar for the gym!"

"Cinnabar has a gym?" Gary asked, his own attention turning southwest towards Cinnabar. "Huh. I heard it had closed down because there were too many tourists challenging it."

"Which is a bit weird, right?" Ash frowned. "That is weird? I just accepted it the first time, but now I've been to loads of other regions and it just seems like almost no Gym Leaders in Kanto do their jobs properly."

"Hey!" Misty protested. "We… wait."

She glanced at Brock. "If I complain about that, is Ash going to point out we're currently on a cruise ship, dozens of miles from our gyms?"

"Probably, yeah," Brock agreed.

"It's not just you guys, though!" Ash said. "Brock's dad left his gym for ages, Misty's sisters were more interested in their performance art… Surge kept injuring Pokémon… Sabrina was turning people into dolls… Blaine has hidden his gym and, well, I only ever battled Giovanni when Team Rocket was in charge of running the gym."

"I only ever battled him when he was using a ridiculously powerful psychic Pokémon," Gary said. "That's not even his speciality type. But yeah, I had to go to Chubu for some of my badges – you know, the middle bit between Mount Silver and Viridian City?"

"Assume I did!" Ash replied. "I wondered."

"Yeah, and a couple in Sevii, I wasn't sure but they accepted them… anyway, I'm actually off to Cinnabar for business too. I'm researching Pokémon that currently live in industrial environments, and how it is they get there, because it might give us clues about where they came from before we had industrial environments."

"Got it," Ash said. "Uh… there's supposed to be some cloning labs somewhere? Maybe? I don't know if they're at Cinnabar or somewhere else, but keep it under wraps if you find any, I guess."

Understood, Dee said. We'll keep you posted.

"I'm also researching how Dee gets more colloquial," Gary added.

"Science is amazing," Ash said, then looked up at a glimmer of light.

"Oh, wow!"

Pidgeot had gone subsonic, and was using Sky Attack… except, without the attack part. Golden flames were streaming over her wings, pouring off her tail, and her airstream was being whipped by the wind into a huge tail of bright yellow flame a hundred feet long.

She shot overhead with a sound of thunder, and Gary shouted to Ash over the roar. "Did your crazy bird just invent dumping jet fuel and burning it – for Pokémon?"

"I guess so!" Ash called back. "Pidgeot keeps surprising me – and I love it!"

"I think she's building up to a finale," Pikachu said, pointing.

High overhead, Pidgeot flared her shroud of fire, then accelerated all at once with a swift snap of her wings and shed it entirely. The whole collection of golden flame was swept up into an invisible clear-air Hurricane that Pidgeot had set up before her low overhead pass, spreading out and expanding and amplifying into a disc of ethereal fire several hundred feet across.

As it spread, she flew higher – up to about twice the height of the disc – then used Sky Attack again, reproducing her flaming trail, and shot back down right at the speed of sound to blast right through the centre of the Hurricane.

The whole cloud detonated into a series of rippling concentric rings, spreading across half the sky before fading out one by one.

Ash grinned as applause broke out all along the ship, and watched as Pidgeot came gliding down to the level of the deck before perching on the rail. "That was amazing, girl."

She began preening, enjoying the attention.

"It's sort of a pity that would never fit in a Contest hall," Brock said.

"Hey, uh… excuse me?" Ash said, approaching a familiar-looking hotelier. "Do you know where the entrance to Cinnabar Gym is?"

"Cinnabar Gym's closed," the man replied, shaking his head. "It has been for years."

"Huh, really?" Ash frowned. "Because some friends of mine got a badge from there less than a year ago… of course, they teleport everywhere, so they don't know where the door is, but they did say it's in the volcano."

"Ahh," the man sighed. "Them. Well, so much for riddles."

He removed his disguise, revealing that he was, of course, Blaine.

"Sorry," Ash shrugged. "But I do want a battle here! Only, can we do it somewhere there isn't lava? I have this wildly over-enthusiastic Squirtle."

Blaine winced. "No argument from me, boy. It's magma inside a volcano, but I'm not going to make a point of it. Meet me up in the volcanic bowl tomorrow morning… do you have Flying types to get up there?"

"Yeah!" Ash confirmed. "My Pidgeot was the one showing off earlier."

"It's always the same," Blaine groused. "Cinnabar is an enormous volcano with a tendency to violently explode, but people always seem to end up here for tourism."

Ash shrugged. "My friend Gary's here for research, at least?"

"Well, that is something," Blaine said, then rummaged in a drawer and handed Ash several sheets of paper.

"Huh?" Ash asked.

"Riddles," Blaine explained. "You missed the volcano one, but I do like them."

Ash looked through them. "Well, I guess I can see how well we do…"

"Thirty white horses on a red hill…"

Pikachu frowned. "Teeth? There's always one that answers as teeth."

"Yeah, could be," Ash admitted. "Thirty, though?"

"Best guess we have now."

"Sure." Ash pencilled it in. "When you take away the whole from it, some still remains. Hmm, not sure."

Riolu looked at the paper for a second. "Is 'whole-some' a word?"

"Hey, yeah! Nice work… what about this one?"

He pointed at it. "What do you buy to eat, but never run out of…"

Misty pulled a pillow over her head.

Why couldn't Ash just get himself to bed already? Damn him and his attitude to anything that even looks like a challenge.

"I'm impressed," Blaine said. "You got eighty three of the riddles I set."

He frowned, taking in Ash's distinctly tired state. "And now that I said that, I realize I may have overdone it on the number of riddles I set. How much sleep did you actually get?"

Ash yawned, then shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "I'll be fine! Let's go!"

"Very well," Blaine decided. "The Cinnabar Gym always includes a test of power. Do you want to hold that test first or last?"

"First!" Ash said, reaching for his belt. "I know who I'm using!"

Blaine raised his Pokéball, waiting until Ash raised his as well, then sent out his Magmar.

Ash retaliated with Charizard.

"Hey, uh," Ash began. "Quick question?"

"I have a question for you, first," Blaine said. "Where did you get that Charizard? He's marvellous."

"Another trainer had kicked him out as a Charmander for being weak, but I knew different!" Ash replied. "There's no such thing as-"

He yawned.

"-a weak Pokémon," he finished, blinking a few times. "They've always got strength there if you're willing to work with them!"

Ash waited a moment, then remembered he had a question to ask. "Oh, yeah… is Magmar actually immune to fire? I don't think they have Flash Fire."

"Correct, but Magmar lives in magma," Blaine replied. "So yes."

"Great!" Ash replied. "Charizard, Blast Burn!"

Blaine blinked. "Wait, how does he-"

Charizard fired, and the explosion blasted Magmar out of the crater entirely.

"Great," Ash began, then stopped. "Great work, Charizzzzzz-"

Charizard quickly spread his wing, catching Ash before his trainer face-planted spectacularly onto the rocky ground.

"Er," Blaine began, then held out a Pokéball and returned his falling Magmar. "This could make the battle difficult…"

"I'll handle it," Pikachu said. "On zero, Charizard. Two, one, zero!"

Blaine may not have been able to speak Pikachu, but he understood the electrical blast that hit Ash well enough.

"Are you sure that's safe?" he said.

"If it's not, then Ash is already in trouble, that's his alarm clock these days," Brock said. "He's alarmingly close to his Pokémon."

Misty gave him a threatening look.

"...I'll be good," Brock promised, as Ash shook himself.

"Phew," he said. "Thanks, Pikachu! Okay, who's next?"

Blaine sent out his Rhydon, and Ash pointed forwards. "Pikachu, you next!"

"This is a seventh-badge challenge, you know," Blaine said. "You're not supposed to make elemental mistakes like this."

"Hey, do I need to tell you off for puns too?" Misty demanded.

"Half of riddles are puns," Blaine defended himself.

"Go for the horn, Pikachu!" Ash said.

Pikachu shot a look at his trainer, then scampered forwards as Rhydon lumbered into a Bulldoze.

When they'd almost reached one another, Pikachu skipped a step, set himself, then slammed a Force Palm into Rhydon hard enough to knock the Rock-type flying back several feet and crashing to the ground.

The recoil was enough to land Pikachu in a small crater himself.

"Fine, fine," Ash sulked. "Don't go for the horn."

Pikachu's cheeks sparked, and he shook himself out as Rhydon picked himself up. "You know I've got better options than that."

"True," Ash admitted, concealing another yawn, then pointed. "Rhydon's coming again! Iron Tail!"

Pikachu used Iron Tail, then Force Palm again, and followed both of those up with a burst of speed and an Agility-boosted Iron Tail to the leg. That was enough to knock Rhydon out for the count, and Blaine made a tsk noise.

"Apparently I need to stop making elemental mistakes," he said. "Will you switch Pokémon?"

"Yeah – return, Pikachu!" Ash said. "Squirtle, your turn!"

Blaine already had his next Pokéball out, and he sent out a Ninetales.

The fox's eyes glowed red, and Squirtle struck a pose as he landed with one hand behind his back. "The burning heat of this volcano only produces a challenge for me to overcome!"

Water formed on his hand, bubbling and steaming for a moment before becoming perfectly clear and still. "There's nothing that says water can't exceed even a volcano in burning heat! Scald!"

He threw the bubble forwards, and Ninetales dodged to the side – only for the water bubble's surface to explode on one side, flinging the Scald sideways and splatting Ninetales with it anyway.

"How the hell did you do that?" Ninetales protested, paws scrabbling for a moment as he did his best to avoid falling over. "That's not remotely possible! It breaks all the laws of probability that superheated water only boils where it would be convenient to you!"

"Theoretical calculations mean nothing to me!" Squirtle shot back, flinging another superheated bubble and grinning. "I'm the great Squirtle of the Squirtle Squad!"

Ninetales got hit by the second bubble as well, then snarled and spat flame at Squirtle's third Scald.

That worked, at least, making the bubble detonate before it actually reached him, but Squirtle's fourth Scald attack was much larger – and it exploded four times on four different sides, rocketing crazily into the air to avoid Ninetales' flamethrower before slamming back down on top of him and nearly driving the Fire-type to his knees.

"Ninetales, use deception!" Blaine said.

"Enough playing around," Ninetales decided, blurring, then vanished into a Faint Attack as he created an illusion around himself.

Squirtle stepped back, water swirling around his hands, and looked left and right warily. "My enemy is somewhere, but I don't know where… so the only way to fight is to be certain of hitting! I'll attack everywhere at once!"

The Water-type sprang into the air, popping his arms and legs back into his shell for a moment, then exploded in a globular wave of violently boiling water. It hissed and sent up steam when it hit the ground, and rained down as a steaming downpour all across the crater, but more importantly it hit the invisible Ninetales sneaking in for an attack with an Energy Ball.

The splash was only there for a moment, but there was now a puddle that Ninetales couldn't help but leave footprints in, and Squirtle followed up with a Hydro Cannon that launched Ninetales backwards and tumbling over and over across the ground.

Blaine held up his hand, and recalled Ninetales with the other. "Stop. I am recalling Ninetales because your Squirtle has just used… hmm, I think it would technically count as Rock Slide? Just, the Pokémon was the one that was moving."

He switched Pokéballs, and sent out a Rapidash.

"Oh, is that a Laramie one?" Ash asked, then yawned. "I… uhh… I recognize the horn, I think?"

Blaine nodded. "I train only the best… I heard your race was very impressive, by the way. Well done."

"I tried," Ash said.

"Eat this, you hoofed first-rate!" Squirtle announced, and exhaled a bubble.

He looked briefly very annoyed, then sat down hard. "I'm too hungry to go on…"

"I'll recall Squirtle," Ash said. "Kingler!"

Kingler didn't come out of his Pokéball.

"Eh?" Blaine asked.

"...oh, right!" Ash realized. "Sorry, I… uh, I was going to warn Professor Oak that I'd need Kingler, but I missed it…"

Accessing, Dexter said. Professor Oak just went running out of the room. It shouldn't be long.

"Thanks," Ash replied.

"...so," Brock said, after a few seconds. "Why do you have a battle room over lava, anyway?"

"Because it is extremely cool looking," Blaine replied.

Then a Pokéball appeared in front of Ash, and he caught it on the second attempt. "There we go! Okay, Kingler, go!"

He threw the Pokéball.

"Bounce!" Blaine ordered, and Rapidash sprang into the air to avoid Kingler's first attack.

Kingler's first attack, as it turned out, was to soak the entire central part of the volcanic bowl in water, then hide underneath it as Rapidash came back down.

The splash-wham from Rapidash's diamond-hard hooves sent spray flying, but the water cushion reduced the impact enough that Kingler wasn't too badly harmed.

It also left Rapidash close to Kingler, and the Fire-type pranced backwards out of the way as Kingler tried for a Vice Grip.

"It's always a problem when a Gym Leader has to deal with a Type they're known to have problems with," Blaine grumbled. "Part of the job, but still…"

Kingler's claws snapped shut with a crack sound, and about ten feet in front of him the water erupted in a plume that hung in the air for several seconds and nearly cleared the crater lip.

Oh! Dexter said. So that's what Crabhammer looks like underwater… I think it's supercavitation?

Kingler's next shot was much further away, and Rapidash began thrashing his way through the deep water as Blaine called for a Solarbeam. The Grass-type move took time to charge, though, and each splashing explosion was getting more accurate as Kingler got his claw in.

One erupted fifteen feet in front of the moving Rapidash, who turned to try and back away – only for another one explode the same distance behind him.

Brock nodded to himself. "He's bracketed now."

A final eruption of water shot skywards, carrying Rapidash, and Blaine recalled the Fire-type before he hit the ground.

"Congratulations," Blaine said. "You understand great power and the ways it has to be controlled, and so you have earned the Volcanobadge."

He offered it, and Ash took it with a grin.

"Only one left," he said, before yawning. "And plenty of time before the League!"

"Yes, indeed," Blaine agreed. "Though those friends of yours who teleported in were probably worse for collateral damage than you. They nearly melted the crystal screens in one of the underground rooms, and I got off lightly."

"Don't bet on it!" Misty called. "Ash demolished my gym!"

"Only part of it!" Ash replied. "Anyway, see you around, Gym Leader!"

He turned to go, wobbled slightly, and Riolu caught him just before he hit the floor.

We'd better get him to a bed, Dexter decided.

"Good morning, Ash!" Misty said, the next morning.

Ash mostly just tried to use Dig on his blankets.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Misty said. "Your sleep schedule is your fault, the least you can do is accept it. Come on, we have to visit the Island of the Turtle Pokémon!"

"We do?" Ash replied, groggily, then gave up on actually trying to sleep. "Didn't, uh… wasn't Jigglypuff involved last time?"

He reached for Dexter on his bedside table, missed, and fell out of bed. "Ow."

"Ash used Rollout," Pikachu said.

"I mean… Jigglypuff is in a band now," Ash added, managing to grab Dexter that time. "They were on the news, doing big concerts in Saffron and stuff…"

"Well, yes," Misty admitted. "But, well, I'm a Water trainer and I want to know more about the societies of Water Pokémon. Especially a Squirtle who isn't… you know, crazy, like your one is as it turns out. He is the only one I've interacted with for a long period of time."

"Yeah, sure," Ash replied. "I guess… then we're going back to Cerulean, right?"

"That's the plan," Misty agreed.

A few hours later, Misty's eye was twitching.

"This. Cannot. Be. Happening."

"So!" Ash's Squirtle said, looking at the Squirtle, Wartortle and Blastoise in front of him.

All of them, every last one, wearing metal headbands inscribed with a turtle shell.

"This is Kamegakure, the Village Hidden in the Turtle?"

"They're all anime freaks," Misty muttered to herself. "Every last one of them. And I thought Ash's one was unusual…"

"I still can't believe they did this," Misty simmered, looking at the Misty Mermaid poster.

"Is it that bad?" Ash asked, glancing at Brock.

"Well," Brock began. "You're an only child, Ash. I'm an oldest sibling. Misty's a youngest sibling, and what you need to think about is that they made her the focus of this without even bothering to ask her."

Ash puzzled over that.

"Gary's signed you up as the lead clown in a circus act," Brock hinted.

Ash made a face.

"Ouch, yeah," he realized. "I didn't mind doing it for Butler, but… yeah."

"Still," Misty added, then knocked on the door.

When Daisy opened it, Misty pointed at the poster. "Explain," she invited.

"You were the best choice for the lead role!" Daisy protested. "Come on, the premiere is tomorrow, we've already booked in all the tickets, it won't be that much of a problem, right?"

"Hmm," Misty mused, as Violet and Lily came to the door. "Well… you know, you're right, it's not that much of a problem to learn the entire script for a show in a single day."

"Great!" Lily said.

"So," Misty added. "We're making some changes. I'll be a mermaid but I won't be a useless damsel in distress."

"...but the plot," Daisy protested.

"How do you even know I-" Violet began.

"I grew up with you!" Misty pointed out. "Now, here's my idea…"

Viewed one way, having only a few hours in the water in total – even wearing rebreathers – wouldn't have been enough time for Misty to properly memorize the choreography of the original script, let alone add whole extra sections to it involving her having a mystical pseudo-Pokemon connection to the sea and allowing her to use things that were partly but not entirely like Pokémon attacks.

Okay, Lily's in the water. You're coming out of the clam in three, two, one, now.

Viewed another way, Misty had Psyduck.

She pushed on the inside of the giant clam, forcing it open, and her sister – dressed in a piratical costume – swished a fencing sword at her, leaving a trail of bubbles behind it.

Misty flinched, then made a gesture, and a rush of water ringed with bubbles pulsed out from her towards the pirate. It seemed to come from nowhere and splashed against Lily, forcing her backwards, and Misty kicked with the costume tail to flip around before swimming away to hide.

It was really easy to forget that a Vaporeon could, if they wanted, be completely invisible when submerged in water.

Violet says that she thinks that looked good, but it needed a bit more of a flourish to it, Psyduck reported. Your gesture, she means. Can we try that again but with a circular flick once you make the hand symbol?

Misty gave a thumbs-up, then swam back over to the clam.

It was a good thing these rebreathers lasted so long, really. Especially as they were going to do an attack by Starmie later, too… in Starmie's case, it would be Camouflage not Acid Armour, but same difference.

That evening, after the performance, one of the spectators shook his head.

"That was interesting," he said.

"That was fascinating!" his friend beamed. "Did you see how they subverted the normal expectation that any character coded as an innocent princess would be defenceless? Instead, she and the Prince character saved one another at different times."

"I saw it," he admitted to her. "It was impressive, yes, I just think that… well, I'm not sure how to put it?"

He shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, it was definitely ballet and I liked the visual displays, I just wasn't thinking about it very hard. And the bits I was trying to think about I'm not sure I got."

"Like what?" she said.

"Oh, the dance number near the end," he explained. "The bit with the Togekiss doing a performance just above the level of the water. I don't see how it was relevant to the whole of the rest of the plot."

"Oh, I get it," she said. "It's ballet. You're supposed to just accept the dance bits. It's all dance."

He rubbed his chin. "That's probably profound."

As the friends headed west from Cerulean back towards Pallet Town, they came across a group of Clefairy ransacking a convenience store.

"Okay, what are you lot doing here?" Ash asked. "If you're from the moon, then you probably started there, right?"

The Clefairy exchanged embarrassed glances, then one of them came forwards.

"Sorry," she began. "Cresselia asked for us to check in on you, Chosen. I'm not sure why but it seemed important… the problem is, Rayquaza blew part of our ship off on the way down because he mistook it for a meteorite."

A shrug. "We've been here for months, so frankly the fact you're still… alive?… is all the report we need to give, we just can't get back up to space to give it."

Ash sighed. "I guess it's better than Rayquaza missing something, but… not much. Okay, maybe you could go down to Hoenn? There's a space centre on Mossdeep, they might be able to help."

The Fairy Pokémon all looked abashed.

"We really should have checked a map at some point, or something…" the spokes-mon admitted. "Thank you."

Bink.

And here we are, main Rocket base, Abra sent, casually, over the thuds of Jessie and James hitting the ground. Head first, naturally. Hmm, that's odd. It's usually less on fire.

"Wait, what?" James asked, springing upright with the ease of someone for whom blunt force trauma would first have to get through amazing hair. "Fire? Where?"

There, Abra said, pointing. And there. And over there, too, under the smoke. Spreading from the hole in the roof, and coming out those windows.

Jessie, James and Meowth went pelting into the Rocket command centre.

"Boss!" Jessie called. "Are you all right?"

"Shout if you ain't able to move!" Meowth added. "Move if you ain't able to shout! If you ain't able to do either, glare and we'll find ya!"

Giovanni picked himself out of the wreckage, demonstrating that he was certainly able to move.

"Yes, thank you. I'm tougher than I look," he said, brushing his suit off. "Send an alert to all points – be ready for potential retaliation attacks from a Legendary Pokémon."

He considered. "And leak information to that Ash Ketchum of yours that a Legendary Pokémon with a grudge against humanity has gone rogue. Psychic type, if it matters."

"Got it, sir!" James confirmed. "He'll find out one way or another!"

Giovanni refocused. "Right. "May I borrow your Abra to get to the Saffron command centre? It's going to be a nightmare keeping a lid on this one… handle the Viridian Gym while I'm gone."

The three saluted. "Sir!"

AN:

Squirtle's Scald variant is very Gurren Lagann.

Dump and Burn, if you're not familiar with it, is the practice of using the Afterburners on a slow moving jet aircraft at a display. The result is a big tail of flame from the burning fuel.

In the rewrite, I made the water ballet scene considerably less of a direct specific reference. That's one of the things the rewrite was for, changing that bit.