"Well, here we go," Ash said, looking across the field.
"Yeah," Gary replied. "Feels right, somehow. The two of us, two Pallet Town kids at the finals."
Ash shrugged. "We may as well get on with it."
"Right. Nidoqueen!"
"Squirtle!"
Squirtle started off with a simple Water Gun attack, testing his opponent. He couldn't remember fighting her offhand, so he needed some idea of what she was capable of.
Nidoqueen replied by throwing a punch crackling with electricity. Squirtle barely broke off his attack before the stream electrified, escaping a zapping by a narrow margin.
"Not exactly a one trick Pokémon, are you?" he said, grinning. "Bubblebeam!"
"Why do you keep calling out what your attacks are?" Nidoqueen asked, mystified, as she brought up a rock shield to take the impact of the Water attack.
"It focuses my burning spirit into an almighty flame!"
"Oh." She looked disapproving as she slammed an Earth Power at him, which he dodged by taking to the air with a whoosh of water out of all four arm- and leg-holes on his shell. "You're the one who got Blastoise into that ridiculous anime, which admittedly is quite an impressive feat what with how he's apparently never actually seen it."
"How dare you!" Squirtle asked, shocked. "It is the ultimate expression of manliness, the truest signifier of unbound spirits meeting in blazing union to defeat malicious fate and determine what will be!"
"If you didn't see how ironic what you just said was, there's no help for you."
Nidoqueen sighted on the flying Squirtle, and thumped the floor with her tail to bring up a rock. A quick tail sweep sent the rock flying upwards in a Smack Down.
"Wait, that looks-" There was an audible crack, and Squirtle hit the ground hard.
"How did that even work?" Ash asked. "The rock came from below, shouldn't it have knocked him upwards?"
Don't ask me.
Squirtle staggered upright, shook his head to clear it, and cracked his knuckles. "Right, you asked for it!" Water saturated in Aura began to flow from his shell. "I could forgive opposing me in battle, but there is no other punishment appropriate for this insult to Gurren Lagann. This water is my will!"
"Here we go again," Nidoqueen muttered, slamming the ground with her tail repeatedly.
"It flows to reach the lowest point, wearing away boundaries and obstacles that rise in its way! Nothing can stop it on that journey, for it is the essence of movement itself!"
By now cloaked in the water, Squirtle pointed at his foe. "Horn Drill Breaker!"
A horizontal waterfall shot across the arena, cannoning into Nidoqueen in a blaze of red light as she returned to her Pokéball from the impact.
Squirtle skidded to a halt at the end of his track, chest heaving but still standing. "I am not unbowed! I… no, I am unbowed, that's…" he stopped, noticing something.
"Where'd the sandstorm come from?"
A second later, the sirocco winds reached ground level and blew Squirtle over like a feather.
"Suppose he's still only barely able to do that attack without passing out," Ash muttered, returning his Water type and pointing to the materializing Fearow. "Pikachu, you're up."
Pikachu squinted upwards at the circling Fearow, blue aura covering him to protect against the sand. "Shouldn't you have sent out Pidgeot for this? I can barely see him."
"Those two have bad history between them," Ash shrugged. "Only she has the details, but still. Besides, you're an Electric type, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I get your point."
Pikachu gestured, enveloping himself in electricity, and began shooting thunderbolts skywards. The sandstorm drew off some of the power of the bolts, but not enough to render them ineffective.
Fearow abandoned his slow circling to slip-dodge sideways, trading height for speed to keep ahead of the thunderbolts. Turning towards Pikachu, he began to dive at an oblique angle to throw the Electric-type's aim off.
"Aggressive guy, aren't you?" Pikachu said, trying to lead his target to the right degree. "Not that I'm exactly surprised…"
He watched as Fearow began to spin. "Drill Peck? Not bad, but not enough."
Ash frowned. Something seemed off… then he got it, and raised his hands to amplify his voice. "Pikachu! It's not Drill Peck, it's Drill Run! He's using a Ground-type attack!"
Pikachu blurred into Agility and dodged away from the hurtling Flying type, the chance of damage from Fearow running into his lightning shield no longer worth the impact of such a powerful attack. "Sneaky! I didn't know Fearow could learn that move."
"That's the point," Fearow replied, slowing his spin and flaring his wings to send downy feathers everywhere – incidentally also dispelling the Sandstorm. "It's an unusual move."
"I have to say, you're remarkably civil," Pikachu said, trying to pull off the feathers stuck to him thanks to static cling. "Not what I expected from what I've heard about you."
"It's useful to keep the enemy off balance."
"Wait, what did you just-" Pikachu ducked as a long beak nearly speared him. "Gah! Stop it!"
Fearow kept trying to hit, stabbing rapidly in a Fury Attack. Pikachu couldn't use any Electric-type attacks because of all the feathers messing with his charge, and had to resort to repeated Agility dodging.
As it turned out, the point wasn't Drill Run, it was Fearow's beak.
Pikachu thought rapidly, trying out a few plans before discarding them.
Riolu had done something that had helped with this...
His right paw blazed blue, and he slammed it into the ground, then stabbed down a bolt of electricity at the same time. He was just far enough ahead of Fearow to have time for the trick he was about to pull off – and he used Iron Tail, sticking his tail into the hole he'd just made, then flicked sharply to catapult a lump of the arena floor at Fearow.
Fearow provided most of the impact speed.
The Flying-type shook his head, recovering from the dazing impact, and looked around for Pikachu. There was a pile of feathers on the floor, but where-
"Volt Tackle!"
The shout came from above him, and he hit the ground hard as Pikachu slammed into him.
"How-"
"Quicker Attack, Quick Attack and Agility. I blew the feathers off. Cunning trick, by the way." Pikachu clung on as Fearow reflexively tried to gain height, and shocked him again. "You are surprisingly persistent."
Fearow flipped over and slammed himself into the ground back-first in an attempt to scrape Pikachu off. The impact shook the arena and made a crater.
Pikachu's quick defensive flick of an Iron Tail had kept him in the fight, though the impact had still hurt. "What is your problem? That was a Frustration! How psychopathic are you?"
His opponent didn't reply, instead going into a spin to throw the Electric-type off.
"Thunder, dammit! Thunder! What is it going to take to make you give it up?"
A glance at Fearow's eyes gave the answer. By now they were pinpricks – the Flying type was losing himself and going into a Rage.
"Okay, forget this." Pikachu jumped off Fearow, releasing the most powerful Electroweb he could, and used Magnet Rise to float down from the height they'd reached.
Fearow hit the ground before him, the electric net rendering him unable to fly.
"Referee, I don't know if this counts as knocked out but he's certainly not able to fight… or capable of conscious thought, by the looks of him."
The referee frowned at Pikachu. "I don't understand what you just said, if you're expecting a response. You're a Pokémon."
"Right, right, I sometimes forget that bit where people don't understand me." Pikachu turned back to Fearow and hit him with another Thunderbolt.
Gary pressed a finger into his ear for a moment, then recalled Fearow. "Referee, in my opinion Fearow isn't able to fight properly anymore. I'm conceding his part in the match."
"Okay, it's your choice," the referee replied. "Next Pokémon, then."
Pikachu groaned, as opposite him Gary sent out his Alakazam. "Why do I always get you guys?"
"It's okay, Pikachu!" Ash called. "All that practice dealing with Abras, Kadabras and Alakazams will give you the advantage!"
"I'm sure," Pikachu replied, not sure, then dodged a Psybeam and an errant Psywave. "Any advice?
"Yeah!" Ash told him. "Charge up your Iron Tail and use it as a shield!"
"Got it," Pikachu retorted, doing just that, but instead of using the charged-up tail as a shield he used it to swipe in the direction of Alakazam's Psychic attack.
The combination of the momentum and the electricity sleeting off the tail were too much for Alakazam's Psychic, and the attack fell apart before it reached Pikachu.
"Now, use your Light Ball to let you do attacks at the same time!" Ash said.
Pikachu began firing Thunderbolt or Shock Wave attacks back, and Alakazam raised both his spoons to catch the Electric attacks and nullify them.
There was a lot of charge in Pikachu's powerful attacks, and when Pikachu started running in to get close Alakazam had to divide his psychic powers between trying to force Pikachu away and actually blocking attacks.
That meant he got hit by a Thunderbolt.
"Focus Blast!" Gary called.
Alakazam shrugged, then used a spoon to block Pikachu's attack.
"What do you mean you don't know it?" Gary demanded. "I thought… gah!"
He paced back and forth for a moment, then winced as Pikachu managed to sneak a Shock Wave past Alakazam's defences. "Okay, you know what? Kinesis, lift yourself into the air."
Alakazam did just that, pushing off from the ground and floating skywards, and finally stopped having to use psychic pushes to drive Pikachu away from getting close enough for a Volt Tackle.
Instead the Psychic-type was hovering overhead, throwing off Pikachu's aim with his Thunderbolts, and was firing down Psywave attacks.
"Oh, not again," Pikachu said, then let out a sort of squeak noise as a Psywave compacted the whole arena down an inch.
"Thunder!" Ash called.
Pikachu used Thunder, this time, and Alakazam had to divert all his attention skywards to catch the incoming lightning bolt… at least, until he realized Pikachu was not only below him but jumping upwards in an Agility-boosted Volt Tackle.
The Electric Mouse Pokémon slammed into Alakazam from below, and that was enough distraction that the Thunder also hit home.
Pikachu did two backflips, landed, and behind him Alakazam smacked into the ground covered in electricity.
"Well, Gary?" Ash asked, as Gary recalled Alakazam. "What's next?"
"Arcanine, Flare Blitz!" Gary ordered, holding out the next Pokéball.
"Flare what?" Pikachu asked.
There was an eruption of flame, and he went flying clear out of the arena.
It was an impressive angle, really.
Ash threw Pidgeot's Pokéball after his flying Pokémon without a moment's thought, and turned back to Gary now Pikachu was safe.
"That wasn't exactly fair."
"We're at the finals," Gary shrugged.
"Good point. Kingler!"
The crab Pokémon launched a Surf as soon as he came out of his Pokéball, aiming not at Arcanine but at the arena.
There was an almighty splash as Kingler landed, the water already several inches deep from the sheer scale of the Surf attack. Storm clouds rumbled overhead as Pidgeot hopped back into the stadium to return Pikachu, and water began to fall.
"Nice," Gary said, appraisingly. "Simultaneous Rain Dance and Surf. But Arcanine's ready for it."
"Yeah, about that. What's he doing?" Ash asked, pointing at the Arcanine running in blurred circles on top of the water.
"Extremespeed," Gary replied. "Means he moves fast enough to not sink. Speaking of which… Arcanine, get him!"
Kingler's shell gave a dull thud as Arcanine's claws hit it, then Arcanine scrabbled at the seams before the crab sank underwater. The Fire-type dodged away, turned, passed Kingler's position at great speed to blow some of the water away with the wind shock, and lunged again with his Flamethrower out ahead of him.
A Crabhammer met him coming the other way, hitting home with a stunning crack. Arcanine flopped backwards, dazed, and into the water… which quite quickly solved his problem with being dazed.
The big Fire-type let out a startled yelp as he came back to awareness, shaking himself frantically and doing little besides sending water everywhere.
Kingler's eye twinkled as he lined up a shot, and fired Crabhammer underwater. The supercavitating explosion sent Arcanine twenty feet into the air in a fountain of water, finishing the process of soaking him and more or less putting him out of the fight.
"It's water, is it?" Gary asked, switching his fainted Pokémon out. "Blastoise!"
"Rime crasher!"
Supercooled water shot into the arena, freezing it solid instantly and trapping Kingler in the ice. Blastoise lumbered over and launched a pair of Flash Cannon shots, breaking the ice and knocking Kingler out.
"That's for dampening the flames of my almighty ally, Arcanine!"
Then he looked up, and saw his next opponent. "Wait, this doesn't seem right…"
"Why not?" Butterfree asked, flaring his wings as the rain stopped and gave way to bright sunlight.
"It's not awesome enough! I mean, come on. A Butterfree?"
Ash winced. "That was not the best choice of words."
"Solarbeam."
A laserblast of light a foot thick came down from the sky and hit Blastoise, melting the ice he was standing on. A torrent of water from his cannons shot back up the path, turning it into a sparkling column of side-scatter a hundred feet high before the Bug-type left off his attack to gain height.
The crowd gave an appreciative "Ooh…" at the light show.
Butterfree's wings shimmered as he repeated his Quiver Dance, occasionally dodging bullets of water or streams of energy from below.
"Okay, I want to make one thing clear. Yes, I'm a Butterfree. But that means nothing to how good I am."
The Bug's form shattered into dancing Double Teams, which scattered and recoalesced somewhere else entirely before launching a Razor Wind at Blastoise. The moment it contacted his water stream, an Energy Ball flew in through the gap and exploded.
Four Solarbeams combined at a single point, and lanced down at the recumbent turtle, causing an explosion.
When the smoke cleared, Blastoise was mumbling something about Mugenn and Grapearls.
"I think he's out of it."
"So do I," Gary allowed. "Umbreon, you're up!"
"Hello," Umbreon said, politely. "It's been a while since I've seen such a well coordinated attack. But using four solarbeams at once seems a little like overkill, to me. Surely you could have stuck with finesse? Repeating an attack is hardly a demonstration of skill, just mindless persistence."
Butterfree frowned. "That's hardly fair."
"Well, it's just my opinion. And besides, you were using the effects of your status boosting moves at the time. It's a way of making the playing field unfair, isn't it?"
"I'm not sure I follow. He had as much opportunity as me to use them."
Umbreon smiled, showing her teeth. "Oh, perhaps. But there are downsides to them as well." Shockingly suddenly, she launched a wave of darkness upwards.
Butterfree dodged most of it, but the fringes hit like a freight train. "Argh, what was that?"
"Punishment, for playing so unfairly with your Quiver Dance." She flicked her ears. "Oh, but where are my manners – here. A gift."
Her tail curled around something, invisible in her shadow until now, and threw it up with a sound like a whip-crack. It hit Butterfree on the wingtip, and purple mist puffed out from the impact.
"Like it? It's a Toxic Orb."
"Shouldn't that have, well, poisoned you as well?" Butterfree asked, launching a Bug Buzz downwards as his wing started to burn from the poison.
"I have poison glands in my skin. It's hardly dangerous to me." Umbreon sniffed. "Unlike that attack! It's not fair, attacking a lady like that!"
By now Butterfree was thoroughly confused. "But… battle?"
"Is that any excuse for poor manners?" Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I thought you were elegant from your battle style, but now I have to question that."
"Okay, look!" Butterfree said, shaking his head to clear it. "We're in the middle of a battle!" He shot down in an Aerial Ace, determined to show her that he could win without just repeating the same attack type over and over-
Her jaws snapped shut barely behind his wing, with a loud snarl. "Don't presume!" The force of the shout sent him tumbling, and he recovered just before hitting the ground.
Wait…
Oh, now he got it.
Butterfree ascended back into the sky, one wing stinging badly by now. He wasn't going to last much longer before he was unable to fly…
"You can stop with the psychological warfare now. I get it. You nearly beat me, but I should have remembered sooner. You're a Dark-type."
A fine dusting of his scales started to come off his wings, glowing with an inner light.
She grinned, baring her teeth once more. "Took you quite a long time to work it out. That's what Dark-types do."
"Yeah. By the way, Silver Wind."
The shimmering dust swirled like a tornado, and washed over Umbreon just as the Bug type finally succumbed to the Toxic Orb's poison.
"Double knockout. As Ash Ketchum is the only one with any remaining Pokémon for this battle, he has won the battle and the League!"
Ash's face shone with mingled triumph and embarrassment. Finally. After everything, including the end of the world, he'd come out first in a standard Pokémon League.
At least nobody had shown up with Legendaries this time…
"Congratulations, Ash," Gary said, walking over. "You've trained a hell of a team."
"I could say the same for you," Ash replied. "Nice work, Gary. You gave us a lot of trouble. Especially Umbreon – she's taken to the Dark type philosophy well."
"Yeah. I thought it'd be better for her to have a recourse against Bug or Fighting types, so I focused on misdirection… or did I?"
Ash snorted.
"Ahem," the referee said, impatiently. "While I'm glad to see there are no hard feelings, we do need to give you two your trophies for first and second. And Mr. Ketchum, please report to the League Building tomorrow night for your battle with Lorelei. They're held in seclusion to reduce the pressure."
"Okay, gotcha."
"Now, come on. Mr. Goodshow's waiting."
AN:
Well done Ash.
Count the Dark-type attacks Umbreon used! There's a lot.
Butterfree's power has been partly based on Lulu from Petty's Nuzlocke - who completely stomped at least one Elite Four member.
Not much rewrite here, I think.