Chapter Seventy-One: Righteous Anger

"Goodness, Ash, you can't keep letting this happen."

"You think I want this to happen?" Ash asked, voice completely numb, devoid of all human emotion.

"I think you could fight back for once," Blanca replied.

Ash sat in front of him on a small metal patio chair, which was more decorative than functional, with his back slumped in defeat. Blanca sat before him on the very edge of his own metal chair, except his was actually meant for an adult to occupy. They sat outside in one of the estate's gardens; this particular one was secluded, bordered by hedges and flowering trees. The sound of a large, ornate fountain cushioned the tense air between them.

Ash was shirtless, his pale, bony shoulders exposed to the harsh summer sun. His body was decorated with more bruises and injuries than was typical, even for him. It was one of the rare occasions where even his face showed signs of his suffering. His brow was swollen, tendrils of purple extended from the impact site. Blood was still encrusted to his busted lip that couldn't seem to stop reopening.

On his abdomen was a shockingly large patch of mottled, purple skin. 'Three fractured ribs' Dino's physician had diagnosed. 'Time will heal it,' he had said. The skin was broken in multiple areas, stinging with movement and exposure to the air.

Ash's hip bones, which peeked just above his jeans, still showed evidence of Dino's rough mouth. Of all the injuries, that was what Ash hated most. Despite his scrubbing, he couldn't seem to wash them away. He fantasized about making a small incision and peeling the tainted skin off his body completely.

"Now, hold still," Blanca instructed. "It's cold, but it won't burn."

Despite the command, Ash's body still involuntarily jerked away from Blanca's hand as he attempted to clean his wounds with the saline solution.

Blanca's hand was gentle on his side, holding him in place like one would a nervous animal. "Try and hold still," he said softly.

This time Ash didn't pull away, he let Blanca cleanse his wounds. "That's fucking freezing," he said, voice empty.

"You shouldn't curse, you know how he despises it."

"Who's side are you on, anyway?"

"You know I'm on your side, Ash," his voice was stern. "But if you get into the habit of cursing when he's not around, you'll slip up when he is. I don't want him having another reason to punish you."

Ash was silent. Blanca was right, he knew it. And yet, his tongue still longed to say forbidden words.

Ash hissed in pain as Blanca's careful hand grazed a particularly sensitive area with the slightest amount of excess pressure. "Ease up, will ya?"

Blanca nodded in silent apology, "Almost through." He finished cleaning the entire site, focusing on the last area of broken skin. "There," he said as he finished. "Now, let that dry a second before we bandage it."

Ash nodded.

Blanca's hands moved to hover above Ash's jean-clad knees. "You okay down here?" He asked, voice quiet and careful.

Ash shifted uncomfortably, pain shooting through him as he did so. His eyes fell to his lap. "No," he replied quietly, "but I'll take care of it myself."

Blanca nodded. He reached for the roll of bandages. "He's a monster, Ash."

"Not like you need to tell me," Ash huffed.

"I wish you'd fight back," he expressed for a second time.

Ash shook his head, "I've tried that. Many times. Never worked out so well."

Blanca was quiet, letting Ash continue. He began to unwind the bandages in a backward motion. He motioned for Ash to stand and raise his arms.

"Got a good amount of scars that way," Ash went on. "Fighting back," he clarified. He looked down at the top of Blanca's head which was focused intently on skillfully wrapping Ash in bandages.

"Say," Ash started, prompting Blanca to look up from his work, meeting Ash's eyes. "Do you know what it's like to have your shoulder dislocated?"

Pain danced across Blanca's face, creasing the space between his brows. "I do, actually."

"And popped back in?"

Blanca nodded, eyes clouding as he remembered the pain.

Ash inhaled and broke his eyes away from Blanca's. He looked up at the sky, exhaling slowly; the air escaped him like that of a ball with a slow leak. "Then you should understand why I stopped fighting."

"When was the last time," Blanca asked, eyes and hands focusing back on their work, "that you fought with all you had?"

Ash shrugged. "Couple years?" He guessed. He was quiet as he gave it more thought. "Yeah, probably eleven was the last real fight," he added. "At least with Papa."

"You fight others?"

Ash nodded. "Sometimes. Almost never with the really important fu– ones," he amended his language as he spoke. "Almost always with Marvin."

"Eleven," Blanca commented. "You were just a child then."

Ash looked down from the sky. "I'm still just a child now." His eyes were angry but his voice remained calm, numb.

"You were younger then. Weaker then," he clarified.

"Hmmm, yeah, I guess." Ash looked back at the sky, squinting as the sun peeked out from behind a cloud. "If I live long enough maybe I'll try again when I'm a little older, a little stronger. And he's a little older, a little weaker. When I've had enough practice with Marvin."

Blanca tied off the bandage. Ash winced as he secured the tight knot that bound it in place.

"What do you mean if you live long enough?" Blanca glared at him, rising to his feet.

"Marvin says I'm getting old," Ash explained. He sat back down on the small metal chair. Blanca followed suit. "I'll be too old for him soon. He'll discard me; replace me with someone younger. Someone prettier. Someone blonder."

"Since when do we take stock in what Marvin says?"

Ash scoffed at himself. "I know." He was quiet for a beat. "But I think he's right this time."

"Please, he just says that to upset you. To control you. You needn't listen to what Marvin says, not on anything."

Ash shifted in his seat, wincing as he did so. "No really, he's right. Papa's never hurt me like this before."

Blanca scoffed. "If I remember correctly, and I do, this isn't your first set of injuries I've tended to. Not even your first set of broken ribs."

"Fractured," Ash corrected, as if it somehow made it better.

"They're the same thing, Ash."

"Are they?" There was no heat, no emotion at all in his words.

"They are," Blanca replied, sorrow briefly gracing his brow. "But that's beside the point. He clearly lost control, but I don't think it has anything to do with you getting older. He's always lost control from time to time."

Ash pulled away from him. "But I think this time is the worst. And he's losing control more frequently now. Why do you think that is?"

Blanca opened his mouth to speak, but Ash cut him off, voice still as serene as the windless sea.

"I know why," Ash began, answering his own question. "I'm his favorite and he's scared because my body's started changing." Ash huffed, emotion peeking through. "Did you know he makes me shave? Everything new. He hates to think my body learned to make hair in new places."

He closed his eyes. "He knows his time with me is almost up." He opened his eyes and met Blanca's rare, watery stare. "He'll have to pick a new one soon." He sighed, not caring how it made his side burn. "And what will become of me then? Will he give me to Marvin? Or someone worse? Or maybe he'll slit my throat and be done with me." His eyebrows raised in consideration. "That might be nice, actually."

"Ash." Blanca's voice was scolding.

Ash closed his eyes again. "I'm too tired to feel any sort of way about it." When he met Blanca's eyes again, the tears that glazed them moments before were already gone.

"You're still a couple months out from fourteen," he stated, "I hear he hardly ever changes boys before fifteen."

Ash scoffed, but still, there was no heat to it. "Do you even hear yourself?" He asked lazily. "Less than two years. That's the life expectancy you've just given me."

"He's kept boys beyond fifteen."

"Has he?"

"Of—"

"Marvin doesn't seem to think so."

"Seriously, Ash, Marvin—"

"Is right." Emotion finally swelled in the thirteen-year-old's eyes. He inhaled shakily. "I'm getting old. I'll be useless soon." His lip quivered and he turned his head away from Blanca's piercing stare.

Blanca's strong hand moved to grip Ash's shoulder. The boy flinched instinctively. Blanca retracted his hand.

"Then you have to do something. You cannot submit. You cannot sit here and accept your premature death. I will teach you to fight back. Fight and win."

Ash met his eyes, tears silently rolling down his pale face. His hand touched his broken ribs, again remembering other past injuries that had occurred because of his disobedience. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"We just went over that, you're stronger now. If you really think your life ends at fifteen, what do you have to lose?"

"A peaceful death." He exhaled shakily. "If I put up a fight, he'll make me suffer."

A rare display of emotion flooded Blanca. He shook Ash by the shoulders, not caring that it made the boy jump. "Wake up, Ash!" He shouted. "Where's your rage?! Why is there no life behind your eyes today?!" Ash shuddered, tears continued to tumble down his skin. "This is your life, you cannot resign to him! You must take control of your own future! You must take your fate into your own hands!" Ash's arms trembled beneath Blanca's hands. Blanca only gripped him tighter. "I will teach you to defend yourself. I will teach you to fight back. I will teach you to win."

Ash who had been deeply lost in the past, suddenly jolted to attention as the reception desk received a phone call. The woman at the desk answered it and began talking in quick Japanese.

Ash stretched slightly, sitting up straighter; his hand wandered to his left side, the side that wasn't currently injured, but in the past had sustained fractured ribs. He traced the ribs with his fingers. The raised areas where the ribs had healed years ago could still be felt. Only the past breaks weren't as obvious now; there was a little more padding there now than there once was. After all, he had gained a little bit of weight since coming to Japan, since finding security and love in the Okumuras.

Strangely, he thought fondly of Blanca, tending to his wounds, being angry for him, and being angry at him for thinking Ash didn't value his own life enough. Which was true. At the time, Ash hadn't had much to live for. Even now, finding value in his life, unattached to Eiji, could be difficult.

Eiji, who had also been lost in thought, turned to look at him. "What's wrong?" He asked, voice scratchy from lack of use. He cleared his throat.

"Nothing, I—" he stopped talking, unsure of what he had even planned to say.

"Did he hurt your left side too?" He looked puzzled, unsure how he could have overlooked that.

Ash shook his head. "No. I was just…" he paused, "I was just thinking, that's all."

Eiji raised his eyebrows in question.

"I broke ribs on the left side once, years back. Three of them. Well, actually four, but not all at once. One of them I broke twice."

Eiji's expression saddened.

Ash's face changed, putting on a facade of humor. "First time was a tussle with Shorter— a drunken tussle— Shorter is— was— stronger than he realized when he drank. The second time was all my fault. Motorcycle accident. Woulda' been fine if I hadn't been speeding" he lied.

Eiji glared at him. "Dino broke five of your ribs?" Eiji asked, not buying a word of Ash's lie.

"Four," he corrected, face falling flat as he dropped the act. "One of them broke twice."

"Two separate occasions? Or it broke in two places?"

"Same place. Separate occasions," he answered. He could see the pain in Eiji's eyes. His chin dimpled as he frowned. "Don't be sad for me. Why couldn't you just buy my lie?"

Eiji reached out and pried Ash's hand, which was still subconsciously inspecting his old injuries, away from his side. "You don't need to lie to me. And you don't need to suffer alone."

Ash blinked. The receptionist ended her call. Silence fell.

Ash looked toward the clock on the wall.

"I'm sorry," he said at last. He thought of Blanca. "I know it hurts you when I'm reckless with my life." He looked at Eiji to find him staring back at him with a teary expression. "I'll try to be better." He closed his eyes and took a breath. He took a moment to appreciate the fact he'd made it past fifteen. His eyes opened. "I will be better. I'll value my life— hard as it might be. For your sake… and mine. I mean that."

Eiji gave a teary laugh. "I've wanted to hear you say those words since New York," he whispered. "Why would you tell me now, when we're here and I can't react the way I want to?" He motioned to the security camera with his eyes.

Ash smiled sadly. "Sorry, Lovely," he whispered in return. "Guess I should have said that sooner."

"Would you have meant it sooner?"

Ash considered the question. "No. Don't think I would've."

"But you mean it now," Eiji said. He used his shoulder to wipe away a tear.

"I do now."

"What changed?" Eiji asked.

Ash shrugged. It was hard to pinpoint. "I don't know, I—" He thought again of the conversation with Blanca all those years back. "I think it's time I stop hurting the people who care about me with my self-destructive tendencies."

Eiji clenched his hands in his lap. "God, I wish I could kiss you breathless right now," he said under his breath.

Ash exhaled a surprised, breath-of-a-laugh. "Fuck, Eiji," he whispered.

Eiji sighed and shifted in the uncomfortable chair. "Now I'm really going to go crazy if have to sit here much longer."

Ash smiled. "You'll survive."

They were quiet for a moment, lost in their separate thoughts.

"Think they're still questioning her?"

"I'd imagine so."

"Think she's alright?"

Ash was quiet. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be sitting here."

Ash, who had nearly fallen asleep, practically jumped out of his chair as Eiji's phone rang. It was a sound far too blaring in the quiet lobby. The station in Izumo, which was in a fairly uneventful area in terms of crime, hadn't seen another soul outside their case, save the receptionist, all day.

Ash rubbed life into his tired face, wincing only slightly as he put pressure on his swollen face. He could hear Aki on the phone with Eiji. He pushed away the lingering thoughts of the past back into his subconscious and strained to make out her words, which turned out to be an easy task thanks to the volume at which she was speaking.

[They found her!? You knew? Why did you not call!? Eiji! I heard on the news! The news!] She shouted.

[Mom, I—]

[Why did you not call?!] She repeated. [We have been so worried! I cannot believe— Where are you now?]

[Mom, calm down—]

[Calm down?! Eiji! Do not tell me to calm down!]

[Please, just— listen!]

[Do you even hear yourself!?] She continued, ignoring him. [Where is she? Have you seen her? Is she alright? Where has she been?! Is she—]

Ash swiped the phone from Eiji's hand. "Aki." His voice was calm, silky even.

She instantly stopped her barrage of questions. Perhaps it was his tone of voice, one he had largely retired since his time with Dino, since New York, or perhaps his rare use of her first name quieted her tongue.

"Everything is alright. We found Akira." He paused, half expecting her yelling to begin again, but she remained silent. "She's safe. We're safe. Everyone is okay."

[Why didn't you call?] She asked, voice calmer now, but still angry. Ash could hear tears threatening her voice.

"It's been kinda crazy here," he said simply.

[Are you at the station now?] She guessed.

Ash nodded. "We are."

Ash could hear her start to walk, presumably toward the door. There was the jangling of keys. [I'm coming down there.]

Aki arrived about an hour later. In the time it took for her to arrive, Shunichi had been called in and taken back for questioning. Akira was still back there somewhere, though it was unclear if she was still being interrogated. Aki stepped inside without a word.

[Mom,] Eiji stood to greet her. He began to ramble explanations. She gave him a short hug as he spoke.

[It's alright. I made myself calm down already,] she told him, ignoring his hastened words.

And it was true. She now seemed to be the polar opposite of the woman Ash and Eiji had spoken with on the phone. No longer frazzled, she was still and collected. She looked well put together, hair and clothes nicely kept, unlike the vision Eiji had of his Mother when she spoke so frantically over the phone.

Eiji ceased his rambling, staring at her dumbly.

Aki turned her attention to Ash who was still seated, perhaps wishing to go unnoticed. Her eyes immediately bore into his skin.

"Ashu," she spoke, voice firm but soft.

He met her eyes which appeared sharp, dangerous even.

She spoke slowly. "Who did that to you?"

"I did," he replied without missing a beat.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Ash." An uncontrollable shiver danced down his spine at her correct pronunciation of his name. She stepped closer to him. "Tell me."

He shook his head. "You're not in the right headspace to know."

She reached out and grabbed his shoulders, and he fucking flinched.

Now, after all this time, after all his hard work, he flinched under Aki's gentle touch. Why was progress so tedious and backpedaling so effortless? One run-in with Kazuya and suddenly he was fragile like this? He cursed himself. He wished he could disappear, wished he could take it back, but it was too late; it happened and she had seen.

He thought again of Blanca; he'd flinched under his caring touch as well. But if it had saddened or angered him, he didn't let it show. He didn't expect Aki would control her emotions in the same way.

Her hands did not leave his shoulders but, instead, gripped him tighter. There were tears in her eyes as she studied his broken face.

"That was just an impulse," he explained softly, hoping she knew he did not fear her.

She nodded as if already knowing.

She gave his shoulders a motherly rub. "Who hurt you, son?"

Something inside Ash broke. She had long since considered him one of her own children, he knew that, and still it affected him deeply.

He chalked the impact of her words up to the memories that had been swimming in his head. Thirteen-year-old Ash would have died to have someone good, someone he trusted, someone he loved (although he didn't think himself capable of the emotion at the time) think of him as their son. He would have died to have someone really care for him. Sure, Blanca cared for him, but at the end of the day, Ash was a paycheck, a job. At least, that's how Ash perceived it.

He let out an audible sound, as if he'd just had the wind knocked out of him. Tears pricked his eyes.

"You know you are my son, Ashu," as she spoke the words, it was unclear if it was a statement or a question. Regardless, he nodded, a tear spilling silently down his cheek. She wiped it from his broken face.

"You know you are my son," she repeated.

She stepped forward, momentarily forgetting her question of who had harmed him, and pulled him into her chest. Her hands rubbed his back, grazing over his injured side. He twisted in pain, his body pulling away from her embrace.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath in pain.

Taking a step back, her hands left him. Though she wanted to lift his shirt and see those hidden injuries that caused him to flail in pain, she did nothing of the sort. Even for her, that would be crossing a line. Her eyes, still dangerous, held motherly anguish. "Who," she began slowly, "hurt you?"

[Legally speaking, you're the best choice for guardianship.] Harada stated matter-of-factly.

Shunichi nodded in silent agreement.

[She's your niece. She trusts you. You already have plenty of experience caring for her. You both live here in Izumo, so she can still attend the same school. Her life won't even need to change much. You're the perfect choice.]

He leaned forward, arms propped against the table. [And yet you don't look thrilled about the whole situation.]

Shunichi pressed his lips together in discomfort. [My life isn't exactly set up for a child.] He looked at Officer Sato. [You saw my house. It's a tiny, one-bedroom. I suppose I could move but, the house is almost paid off and I financially never planned for a child. Not to mention I travel a lot for work and—] he stopped short. He rubbed his forehead. [I'm sorry.] He rubbed his eyes and groaned. [Maybe I'm just as selfish as my brother.]

Harada gave him a half-smile. [That's why I said legally speaking.] He tapped his hand against the table, wedding ring clanging against the metal, and leaned back in his chair, forcefully enough that his chair creaked under his weight. [But that's not good enough. If you don't want her or don't think you can handle the responsibility— financially or otherwise— then you're not the right fit.] He crossed his arms. [So who is?]

Shunichi drove frustrated fingers into his hair, scratching at his scalp as if it might fix the situation. [I don't know,] he sighed. [Kazuya's my only brother. Tsumo has an older sister— by seven years— but she moved to Tokyo for work over a decade ago. She's not seen Akira since she was a baby.] Shunichi fell quiet. His eyes searched the air, racking his brain for an answer.

Both officers were silent.

Shunichi shook his head. [Eiji would take her in a heartbeat, but he's still so young. I don't think he understands what he's getting himself into.]

Harada sighed. [Ah, well, that and the whole roommate thing.]

Shinichi's eyes darted between Harada and Sato. [What do you— What about Ash?]

Harada leaned forward again. [Surely, you don't believe they're really just roommates?]

Sato leaned forward as well.

Shunichi leaned back, chair scraping the floor slightly. [Y-yes?]

[Come on, you don't really believe Ash left his home country for a mere friend he had just met.]

[We'd been there some time—]

Sato nodded, [That's right, you were there. Tell me, what were they like in America?]

Shunichi stood, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. [This is ridiculous. This is supposed to be about Akira.]

[Sit down,] Sato said calmly.

[If you're implying they're lovers, then you're reading into things that aren't there.]

Harada nodded. [That's exactly what I'm implying.]

Shunichi slapped his hands against the table. [If they're lovers, this is the first I've heard of it!]

[Hmmm, your anger is convincing,] Harada began. [Maybe you're too old-fashioned to imagine them together. Or maybe you're just a good liar.]

Shunichi stared daggers at him. [Or maybe it's the truth.]

[Less likely,] Sato chimed in. [Now, listen, I personally have no problem with any of that but the law is pretty clear on the matter. And that's my job, isn't it? To enforce the law.] Shunichi stared at him, unsure of what to say. [Won't you please sit back down?]

Wordlessly, he did.

[All three of us want the same thing: we want what's best for the girl. Is there anything we could help you with to make accepting a child into your life possible?]

Shunichi opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the interview door swinging open. In the doorway stood the receptionist, looking annoyed but not frazzled. [Officers, we have an issue in the lobby,] she stated calmly.

Officers Sato and Harada entered to find Aki speaking angrily in a wild mix of English and Japanese. Her face, red with emotion, was twisted in anguish. She was sitting, simply because Ash and Eiji had forced her to do so. Ash sat in the chair beside her, with one hand braced on her shoulder and another on her forearm in an attempt to keep her contained. Eiji squatted on the ground before her, hands on her knees to prevent her from standing. They both spoke to her in hushed tones, urging her to calm down.

[Now, who do we have here?] [What seems to be the issue, Ma'am?] The officers asked in unison.

Aki attempted to stand but Ash and Eiji restrained her. She tried to shake free of Ash's grip, pulling her arm away from him violently. [Let me up, Ashu! Let me up!]

[Absolutely not.]

She tried again to stand without success.

[What's the issue, Ma'am?] Sato asked again.

[He's back there, I know he's back there! Let me speak to him!] She shouted.

[Who's that, Ma'am?]

[You know who I mean!] She yelled.

Ash gripped her shoulder tighter. "You need to calm down," he told her as calmly as he could manage.

[Look what he did to my boy!] She shouted, ignoring Ash's words. [Where is he!?]

[Ahhh, you mean Kazuya,] Harada said, stepping forward.

[Do not patronize me!] She shouted. Again, she tried to stand only to be held back, though this time it took more effort. [Boys!] She flailed her limbs. [I'm serious! Let me up!] Frustrated tears slipped from her eyes. [He's a monster! He needs to be held accountable for what he's done!] She kicked her legs. Eiji pleaded with her to breathe. [To Ash and Akira! How can he make his own daughter run from home!? What kind of father is he?! Let me up!]

[ENOUGH!] Ash shouted. Aki fell silent, head twisting towards Ash. [I know you are angry, but you cannot act like this,] he scolded. [You are only making everything worse.]

[Ash—]

[No! Just— Look at yourself! They'd have to be out of their minds to let you speak to him in the state you're in. You've got to settle down, Mom.]

Both officers raised their eyebrows at the title.

Aki squirmed. The hands on her tightened. More tears fell.

[He's right,] Sato stepped forward. [You can't go back there like this. But I won't lie to you, I find your anger refreshing.]

She stilled. She bit back tears, eyes and throat burning as she did so.

Sato extended his hand. [Okumura-san, I presume.]

She shook his hand with the hand Ash didn't have restrained. [Aki,] she said in a low voice.

[Officers Sato,] he told her. [And Harada,] he gestured behind himself.

She nodded in greeting, face bright red.

[I can see why you're angry. You're good friends with the Ibe family, I understand. So, I can imagine how blindsided you must feel to learn your so-called friends are not only such horrible parents, but also could act so violently toward your—] he glanced at Ash. [What is he to you?]

[Ashu's my son.] Ash unconsciously increased the pressure on her arm. [In every way that matters.]

[Right.] He stepped closer and sat in the chair beside her. She turned her head to see him. [Let me tell you, I see anger day in and day out,] he started, [but it isn't every day I get to see such righteous anger.]

Aki was still and her breathing began to regulate. And yet, both Eiji and Ash knew better than to loosen their hold on her just yet.

[So, I'll let you speak with Kazuya, but you need to do two things first.]

Her eyebrows raised in question. [What is it? I'll do it.]

[First, your son is right, you need to calm down and clear your head. Go outside, maybe, get some air. Or maybe do some breathing exercises. Whatever you need to do to regain your composure. You're obviously a woman of high morals. I'll assume I saw you at your worst just now.]

Aki blushed and lowered her gaze, embarrassment setting in. [Forgive me,] she whispered.

[And two,] he went on, [while Officer Harada finishes the interview he and I started with Shunichi Ibe, I'd like you to come back and speak with me.]

Ash tensed beside her. [Why do you need to speak with her alone?] His voice was low, almost dangerous.

A small smile grew on Sato's face. He thought back to his interview with Akira. He remembered the way Ash barged into the room after she had screamed. [You are quite the protector, huh?]

[I have reason to be,] Ash snarled.

[I didn't mean it as a cut-down. But you're free to sit in, if you doubt my character.]

Aki placed her petite hand over Ash's. "I will be okay, Ashu. I can do this alone."

He loosened his grip on her and withdrew his hands. [You so much as lay one finger on her, I swear to God I'll—]

"Ash. Maybe don't threaten the police," Eiji hissed, still squatted on the floor.

Interest danced in Sato's eyes. 'More righteous anger,' he thought. [Someone must've done a number on you, huh, kid?]

[Ha!] Ash threw his head back with a sarcastic laugh. [You have no idea.]