Catching Up
Chapter 2 – Everybody Loves A Clown

The credits on the previous episode rolled and silence reigned between everyone in the room. No one wanted to take a break but none felt right just moving on to the next episode either. It was a guilty cross of wanting to acknowledge John but at the same time, just needing to get past it. For Sam and Dean, John's passing marked a flurry of emotions especially in hindsight. Mary, despite not knowing everything, was mired in her own sea of feelings. Suddenly a beer bottle rose and they saw it was Castiel holding it up. "To John Winchester," he said evenly. "Father, husband, and hunter. He wasn't an ideal version of any but he was always there when needed the most. To John."

Mary scrubbed her tears before reaching for her drink, "To John."

Sam's appeared in his hand and he smiled softly, "To John."

Dean was last. Holding Cas's gaze for a long moment, a silent battle of wills. Finally he nodded and added hoarsely, "To John." Those with drinks took a sip and Dean coughed. "Let's see what's next." He retrieved the DVD case, "Oh awesome, Everybody Loves a Clown. Ain't that right Sammy?"

Sam made an annoyed sound, "Don't start."

"Oh but I shall," Dean managed to smirk a bit. He read the description, "After listening to a message on John's cell phone from a woman named Ellen, Sam and Dean track her down."

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Mary's eyebrows shot up.

"No," her boys assured her. Not yet, they both added mentally.

The episode began with another recap before opening on a carnival. Sam chewed the inside of his cheek at the overabundance of clown imagery. Really bothers you doesn't it? "Uh huh," he grunted. At the same time, a little girl spots a clown away from everyone else but it disappears only to reappear along the highway as she and her family are driving home.

"Oh that's bad," Mary commented.

"About to get worse," Dean tacked on as the scene moved to the family's home. The little girl is awakened by the clown outside and she lets it in before abruptly cutting to the title card.

"That's just terrifying," Mary said.

"Now I don't need to hear any wisecracks about hating them." Sam replied resolutely. Everyone sobered up the next moment as the show started on John's funeral and TV!Dean lying to TV!Sam about their father's final moments.

"Was it really that bad?" Mary ventured.

"Shittiest case of last words ever." Dean declared.

The episode cut to a week later with TV!Dean working on the Impala. "You managed to get it from twisted scrap metal to that in a week," Mary awed.

"He pretty much worked on it eighteen hours a day, no exaggeration," Sam told her. "That's why I'd had enough of his shit after only a week."

"But hey, when I'm right, I'm right. We didn't have any options. Maybe if you had led in with the cellphone bit…"

"Whatever man, tell you one thing though. I do NOT miss that van." Sam nodded to the clunker Bobby had lent them to go see Ellen. "I do however miss the Roadhouse."

"You and me both brother," Dean bobbed his head. They watched as their television selves entered the bar for the first time and met Jo, Ellen, and Ash. It was equals parts wonderful and painful to see them again. Seeing John had been tough but the Roadhouse crew was different. Onscreen, Ash was revealed as a hidden genius who agreed to help put together John's research and TV!Sam picked up the clown case at the same time TV!Dean backed off from hitting on Jo.

"A rarity in and of itself," Cas commented.

"You're funny hot wings," Dean griped. Meanwhile, the brothers discuss the case and the mysterious disappearing clown. TV!Dean is wary of TV!Sam's behaviour and his sudden desire to honor John but goes with it. "Funny part is, dad would have never believed you of all people had said stuff like that."

"If he was around to believe it or not, I wouldn't need to say it." Sam countered. They watched the clown-monster choose another target and go after the family. TV!Sam and TV!Dean arrived at the carnival as the police were investigating and confirmed another attack. Fingered a clown? Dude do you think before you speak? "Shouldn't you be asking Dean that?" Indeed, TV!Dean was finding himself in a tough spot with the carnival workers after a couple slips of tongue – his brother doing nothing to help him.

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Thankfully, a man named J. Cooper who ran the fair apparently rescued them. The TV!Winchesters pretended to be fair workers but couldn't keep up the ruse. Cooper was reluctant to take them on, insisting that they live 'regular' but surprisingly TV!Sam jumped in, saying they didn't want to go to school or live normal lives. TV!Dean is disbelieving of his brother's change of heart but doesn't comment.

"Winchester coping at it's finest I suppose," Mary exhaled.

"You suppose correctly," Cas confirmed.

In the end, the TV!Winchesters secured jobs as maintenance and TV!Sam thought he found a lead in the funhouse. TV!Dean nearly got caught by the blind knife thrower but managed to feed him some story about him and TV!Sam writing a book. The brothers overheard another child point out a clown that couldn't be seen and decided to follow the family. Sure enough, the clown arrived and the TV!Winchesters ambushed it. It was solid enough to be hit with the rounds that TV!Dean fired at it but turned completely invisible just as the child's parents showed up. TV!Sam and TV!Dean were forced to abandon the van and somehow they ended up fighting over how to handle their father's death. "That happens frequently," Cas did his best approximation of a long-suffering sigh. "They tend to hold things in until it bursts out of them in a loud and often dramatic fashion."

"Not going to lie, they had to get it from somewhere Cas and it wasn't all John," Mary informed him. "My father and I were the exact same way."

Back in the show, Ellen thinks they are dealing with a rakshasa, a demon that lives in squalor and feeds every few decades. The only way to kill it is with a brass knife so TV!Dean goes to the knife thrower while TV!Sam checks Cooper to see if he might be the demon. Unfortunately, the knife-thrower was the demon and gave chase. "Did it have to do that thing with it's face?" Mary shivered.

"Well that's all the nightmare fuel I need," Sam cringed as the tv-him and TV!Dean led the rakshasa into the funhouse where they were able to use the steam and brass pipes from the organ to finish it off.

"That was excellent tactics," Cas complimented them.

"It was pretty good," Dean said proudly. The TV!Winchesters returned to the Roadhouse to celebrate. Jo and TV!Dean agree that then wasn't the right time for anything and Ash revealed that he had pulled together John's research into a computer program that would let them know if the demon ever showed up again. Back at Bobby's, TV!Sam admits that he isn't alright, that he isn't coping with John's death but he's certain neither is TV!Dean. He leaves his big brother to work on the Impala and TV!Dean finally breaks down, taking a crowbar to the Impala's trunk.

"Boys," Mary pulled them both in for a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"Us too," they broke off.

"I have to admit, I am a little jealous," Mary attempted a bit of levity. "You guys hunt way more interesting things than I ever did. I'd only ever heard of the rakshasa."

"Actually," a gravelly voice said from behind. Everyone jumped and spun around to find Crowley leaning on the doorway, scotch in hand. "It's pronounced rakh-shas, soft second syllable and the 'a' at the end is silent." He tilted his glass towards, "Hello boys."