Catching Up
Chapter 7 – Ask Me

Castiel stood there. Hands in his trench coat, still as a sentinel. "Where are you going?"

"I just need some air man," Dean tried to assure him. "Hearing all that again, it just -"

"Don't you lie to me Dean Winchester, you were horrible at it then and you're still horrible at it now," Cas stalked towards him. "Do you still feel that way? That you should not have been saved? That coming back was unnatural? Do you still think that?"

"Look -"

"Do – you – still – feel – that – way?"

Dean swallowed thickly, "Yeah I do."

"I suppose Michael could have used John as a vessel. Adam might still be around, of course his mother would be dead and his father as good as. Then John and Sam would do battle, one would kill the other. One dead and the survivor locked inside a flesh prison. Or perhaps we would have meet sooner, sent to save you from perdition and all. Start the apocalypse that much sooner."

"Okay cut the crap," Dean snapped. "I get it. The bigger picture says what happened was least of the evils. I come back, Sammy and I do our thing, end of the world crisis averted. That doesn't change the fact that my father gave up his life for me and what did it really get him in the end? Nothing!"

Cas looked outraged. "You can't honestly believe that merely your continued existence wasn't worth John's life?"

Dean remained silent and Cas's jaw tightened, "How dare you?!"

"Excuse me?" Dean went on the defensive.

"How dare you disgrace your father's sacrifice?" Cas demanded. "Do you truly deem it unnatural for a man to love his son so much that he would risk the world for him? Is it so incomprehensible to you that a parent would lay their life down for their child?"

"I still died anyway didn't I?" Dean flung his arms in the air.

"Of course we are all fated to die one way or another but on that day, Dean Winchester, there was another way and your father took it." Cas looked away. "The burden of guilt will never diminish but the underlying love should never be forgotten."

Dean looked at the angel shrewdly, "Personal experience there buddy?"

Cas took a breath, "Yes well, did I not scour this Earth, calling for my father? And when all hope was lost, he saved me and gave me new life. He had taken himself away from the angels but for one blistering moment, I felt his warmth, his love, he cared enough to reveal himself so that I may continue."

Dean crossed his arms, "Are you sure that's it?"

"Of course," Cas sighed. "Angels are no longer a family, all we have is our father."

"No longer? You mean you were actually family once? What was Heaven like before Michael took over?"

"I don't recall much, I was merely a fledgling at the time." Cas stared into the distance as if he could see through time. He hummed a small tune and frowned, "I don't even remember the words anymore."

"What was that?" Dean asked.

"A song I heard when I was young when the angels used to sing together. Then Michael came into power…" Cas shrugged. "Some of the older ones would sing in their garrisons but it wasn't like before and eventually the songs faded away."

"I'm sorry man," Dean apologized.

"No need to apologize, I lost my family long ago," Castiel pinned him with a look. "And you were the one who gave me another chance. That is what you give to this world Dean, a chance, don't lose sight of that. John made sure you had one and I believe you've done his sacrifice great justice by giving that to everyone several times over. Anytime you think that you're not worth the life you live, ask me, I'll tell you how completely natural it is that you walk this Earth."

"Thanks Cas." The pair hugged. "I'm glad we've got each other."

"As am I."

*CU*

Elsewhere, Sam had excused himself to go to the restroom, carefully dodging Dean and Cas's encounter. He detoured to the kitchen and turned the water on just in case someone heard him speak. "Hey anything new?"

Nope. Just a whole lot of butthurt Brits

"Works for me. You'd tell me if you were in trouble right?"

I'm fine for now, the healing process is a bitch. Our little escapade didn't do me any favours.

"You shouldn't have done all of that."

All of what? Making sure you survived? Now then, what's this about college and drugs?

Sam rolled his eyes, "I smoked a joint once. A friend of mine was having a party, he gave me one and told that it would loosen me up."

How loose did you get?

"I ate an entire bag of chips and played with pieces of lint off his couch."

Jeez even stoned you're practically a choir boy.

"Shut up," Sam snorted. "When do you think you'll be good enough to make the flight over?"

Sam…

"You heard me, I hate every second you're stuck with those people. I'm getting you out of there ASAP, whatever it takes to get it done."

Sam I know we have a ton of stuff to talk about and we will, I promise. I will come back but we have to do this carefully. This is a double-edged sword but if we play our cards right, both sides will cut in our favour.

"Just be careful. This could go sour at any moment."

I know that. For now I need you to do something for me.

"What's that?"

Wait for me Sam. It seems cruel to ask but I'm on my way back

"I am waiting. But all I keep thinking is you're going to get caught and I won't be able to give you your answer."

Don't tell me now. I want to hear it in person even if it's the last thing I do.

"It better not be," Sam warned.

I'll be at your doorstep with bells on, don't worry.

"Now that you can't ask of me," Sam breathed as he shut off the water.

A/N: Hello all, so I've been reworking the plot of this story and I will also be padding out angel society and culture. It's something I don't think gets nearly enough attention. Until next time, R&R PLZ!