(Day 0)

Levi gasped deeply, eyes opening wide to a dark room. He quickly sat up, grasping the mattress underneath him for confirmation. He was in his room —he knew— but with how real the nightmare felt he couldn't help but need that reassurance.

Swallowing hard, he relaxed slightly, sinking back under the bed sheets. His heart still thumped way too fast and his breathing was still loud for his ears. He'd barely been asleep for an hour, it seemed his rendezvous with a nightmare came earlier than usual tonight.

He sighed shakily, realizing that was all the sleep he would likely get tonight. He needed more, seeing that tomorrow he'd be on a mission beyond the walls with a daunting challenge; for the first time in their history, the survey crop was anticipating a showdown with an intelligent titan, the real enemy who might hold all the answers. Erwin had told him and a few other veterans about his intentions and plan. Levi wasn't certain it would unfold as Erwin had predicted, but with Erwin, everything was a gamble. And with every gamble, there was a chance, however slim, of it turning out to be true.

Yet perhaps it was this very mission that he needed the good sleep for, the one that caused him to sleep less. He couldn't deny feeling stressed about it.

Passing one hand through his hair, Levi found himself drenched in sweat. He closed his eyes and sighed again, this time breathing steadied. He decided to take a shower and wait for the morning to come, never having expected, that that one hour of disturbed sleep, would be his last.

—

(Day 1)

The people he'd worked with for three long years, the closest thing he had to a family, have died. None were left! Levi shook his head, grabbing the sheets on his bed and enveloping himself underneath them. It was the moment he'd been waiting for since they came back inside the walls. He had to pay a visit to the medical ward first, do some paperwork, and talk to some people... It was hazy in his mind when all that time he was only craving to get to this moment of solitude.

He brought his knees up and tucked his hands under his cheek. His ankle ached, his head ached, his heart ached but it was way better like this with him alone and away from all of the noises.

His bed didn't offer him the comfort he had been expecting. The fresh memories played on his mind, even Petra's father's encounter, he failed him, and failed her. Levi tossed to the other side of the bed as soon as the image of her body laying broken against a tree appeared, too vivid for his mind, as though running away from having to see it.

He saw his lost friend's shadows in the opposing corner. That realization that he won't be seeing them again, that life will go on for him but not for them undid him. More so when he knew exactly how that would feel. He knew exactly what to expect after losing someone he cared about. Anyone who had ever meant anything to him had either died or left him, over and over and over and over and over... Levi closed his eyes tightly as if to make his mind shut up. He tossed back to the other side of the bed.

At least he was exhausted from battle, that might bring him to sleep faster, and maybe then he could sleep his tiredness and bad feelings away.

—

(Day 2)

At least that's what he thought. The room grew completely light with the sun slanting through the window. Levi laid on his side, staring at it intently. A full night had passed, and he hadn't tasted a single minute of sleep.

He was no stranger to insomnia, but usually, he slept a couple of hours especially when fatigued after missions. He was not a stranger to occasional sleepless nights either. The only difference is that he would usually walk around and occupy his time with something, unlike now, where he laid in bed for hours, consumed by his thoughts.

He lost hope of sleep when a bustling chatter and movement grew outside. Everyone began their day, likely heading for breakfast. Levi didn't feel hungry at all. Eventually, he rose to his feet in an attempt to run away from the endless cycle of thought. A stroll might help.

He felt his body tired without the recuperation it needed, all of his muscles fatigued from the maneuvering of yesterday. But he was right, a stroll did help, a little.

Coming back, he was met by Hange and Mike talking. They stopped their chatter upon seeing him and turned to look his way before Mike called for him. Levi didn't feel like going there, but he did nonetheless.

"Where have you been? You missed breakfast." Mike inquired.

"I'm not hungry."

"Too bad, I saved some crackers for you. I guess I'll have them now," Hange intervened.

Levi only shrugged.

"Where have you been anyway?"

"Do I have to fill in where I go now?" He flatly said.

"I'm just asking." Hange half pouted. "At least I know where you were earlier this day."

Levi looked at her questionably.

"The wrong side of the bed." She added with a lower voice, earning a smile from Mike behind her. Levi huffed.

"I'm going back to my room. I have plenty of reports to fill out. You can find me there if you need me."

Taking a few steps away, Levi heard some stubborn steps follow behind him before Hange appeared at his side.

"Listen, Levi, I know that it must be hard for you to have lost your entire squad yesterday. I m-"

"Don't." He raised a hand, voice low it felt like a creeping danger.

"Don't what?" Hange stared at him, eyes big and questioning.

Levi halted his steps. He looked down at the floor, taking in a deep breath. He truly cared for Hange, she was one of, if not the closest friend he had there. However his will to deal with his problems alone, made her no exception. He didn't know why he hated anyone comforting him about anything, it made him feel naked and weak. It probably had to do with him growing up with Kenny, always telling him to instead of complaining, fight back. He never liked to hear him, and Levi grew to only act, never speak.

"I'm fine. But I don't want to talk about it." He raised his grey eyes to catch hers, voice uncharacteristically low and hesitant.

"Oh, I know." She looked at him unfazed. "You never want to talk about it."

"If you know that much, four eyes, then why are you wasting my time?"

He didn't even wait for her to respnd, Levi turned around and retrieved his steps. His face hid his feelings perfectly, too perfectly sometimes he hated it. People probably think he's heartless, but he'd have that better than exposing vulnerability. He hoped Hange didn't think that of him. He was grumpy and she was only trying to help.

"Because it's always better to." He heard her mutter, standing in her place behind him. Levi didn't turn, he went on limping his way back to his room, pretending he didn't hear.

—

Levi rarely used his bed. He barely slept so most of the time he surrendered to the feel while still sitting on a chair. If he succumbed to bed, it only meant he was sick or something was wrong, or he needed extra rest for his body. On the second night after his friend's loss, he found himself avoiding it like the plague. He refused to experience the relentless lengthiness of the previous night again.

He tried to keep himself occupied by walking around, but nothing seemed worthy of attention in the late hours. As time dragged on, he found himself with nothing but his thoughts —which was the very thing he was trying to escape.

He walked back to his room and sat on a chair, it was usually around this hour that his mind lost sharpness and started to get drowsy. His legs breathed relief upon sitting. Every muscle on his body felt tired that for once, he was glad his injury prevented him from training.

What was worse, however, was his mind. It felt so tired, too tired! All the thoughts and feelings he had experienced in the past days were too much to take, but not getting any sleep to have them processed made them accumulate and congest his brain like a huge mass. It was too much thinking and no rest.

The same scenes were repeating like a broken record, the same thoughts, same awful feelings, all night long when he had long hours and no distraction.

He begged for a short rest. To run from them into the nothingness of sleep, he wouldn't even mind the usual nightmares as long as he could put these thoughts on hold for a few hours and have them processed. Even one hour, or just a half, he needed to cease them even for a damn minute, just have his mind shut down and think of nothing.

(Day 3)

Yet, with lips slightly parted, Levi stared intently at the sun slanting into his room. The morning had come and he hadn't tasted a single second of sleep, again. This cannot be happening, he cannot go out and start yet a new day feeling this exhausted.

Remembering how missing breakfast had everyone pry about him yesterday, he forced himself to his feet. The least he needed was to attract more attention.

—

(Day 4)

Levi stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes looked wide, yet unfocused. He couldn't even tell how long since he'd been awake. Three, or four days? Maybe less, maybe more. He was losing his sense of time, having night and day blend in together as one.

His body would recuperate, he knew, but by god his mind was slowly driving him insane. Thinking felt lagging and heavy. He felt irritated with everything and everyone. He hated that his hands were starting to shake, his dark circles getting darker...

Now that he counts them with effort, it has been four days. And his damned mind wouldn't shut up a single damned second through them! It felt like too much. He waited for the sweet relief with hope every night, reaching this fifth morning without sleep however, he was starting to lose hope of it ever coming.

He still had to go out, at least not to have Hange worry about him despite his complete loss of appetite. He knew that if she worries she'd be up his ass for more time than he could handle.

Walking into the eating area, he was surprised that the tables were empty. How long has he been staring at himself? He turned around, only to be startled by a voice.

"Take this!" Hange said, throwing something his way.

Levi reached his hand in reflex, the thing hit his palm but before he could get a hold of it, it fell to the floor. He looked down, it was a box of crackers. He tried to kneel to grab it, slowly. But Hange stopped him and jolted forward.

"You shouldn't twist your ankle like that. Or are you enjoying the break from training so much?"

"Quite the contrary." He said, sincerely. He was tired, right, but after all the free time he was getting with his thoughts, anything was better than being left with them.

"You skipped breakfast, again." She stood up to meet his gaze, box in her hand.

"Yeah, I was..." Levi took a second. So long for his usual quick-wittedness and agility, now he had an overworked lagging brain. A fucking stupid one at it. "I woke up late."

"You!" Hange looked in disbelief a second before she laughed shortly. "At least I'm glad you're getting some good sleep. That's good to know."

"Ha, yeah." Levi couldn't help a mocking snort. He wishes. He grabbed the box she shoved into his hand.

"I was at Erwin's last night. He's asking about you. You haven't visited him once since we came back. The man lost an arm, he needs all the support. Maybe it is better with you not going there then."

"Very funny." He said impassive. "I will go visit him. I was planning to."

"It's not like you to refrain so long. You two are always together usually."

Levi didn't answer, and Hange could get that he was getting into his Levi mode, where he would tell her off if she added any other sentence to push the matter and get her nose into 'his business' —which was only his— as he liked to put it. Instead, he focused on opening the box of crackers.

"Where's Moblit? You two are always together."

"Rumor says that he-"

Hange stopped mid-sentence, watching the box she just gave him clumsily slip his calloused hands, dropping down to the floor and spilling all of its content in the air as it got there.

She looked back up at Levi, finding his eyes looking down, not less surprised than hers, for a face that usually showed no emotions.

"Levi." Her voice started, low and slow. "You're shaking!"

It took a second for his gaze to rise from the ground and meet hers. He held his left hand with the right.

"I'm not"

"You are!"

"I'm not!" He repeated. It was so slight, and he'd just made it stop. But damn her sharp gaze.

"Levi, I can see it, there, right now. You should come with me to the medical ward, we should have that investigated."

"It's nothing. What do you think I am showing up there for a slight shake that's probably because of skipping breakfast when people are hospitalized for losing limbs."

"It's not the shaking I'm worried about. More about you losing your reflexes. It's strange, isn't it? You couldn't catch the box I threw your way. Two strikes within a minute, strange for a person with your reflexes."

"That's what happens when you skip training, you get rusty."

Hange stared at him a moment longer not biting into his bait. "I am serious."

"I told you it's nothing. It happens sometimes. Will get fixed once I eat."

"Once you eat...That sounds like something I read about." She looked thoughtful. Levi rolled his eyes. "I will search for that book again and tell you what I found... But Levi, if it happens to you, then why did you deny it when I asked?" She sent him a mischievous glare, bringing her head closer to his face.

"Because it's so slight. It shouldn't be considered shaking." Levi answered with a low voice, sounding uncharacteristically insecure.

Hange lived to corner him and get him there. It was always a war between them, and the victory was to get the other into this corner. With their quick wits, barely anyone succeeded. And now there she had it. She grinned lightly, turning to the exit and poking her friend with her elbow to walk alongside her there.

—

(Day 5)

When the sun peeked into Levi's room for the fifth sleepless night in a row, he almost wanted to cry. Not that he could get that luxury —he was sure it would minimize his burdens, but he was condemned to carry every last bit of the bad feelings unprocessed and leashed.

It was one of the nights when he, understandably, succumbed to lying on his bed. When he tried to sit up, he felt his arms barely able to hold him. He noticed that his hands were shaking more prominently now, that he better avoid Hange all day.

He supported his back on the wall behind him, covering his face with his palms. What the fuck is wrong with me? He thought, feeling the shaking disturb his skin. He proceeded to pass a hand through his hair. He felt like he missed the nights when he'd find it drenched in sweat. He surely took nightmares for granted before, them with a few hours of sleep was way better than this outcome.

When the familiar chatter echoed outside, Levi intended to get up, but not a single muscle responded to him. He knew that he should, he didn't want Hange missing him after all. Yet he found no motivation to leave. And if he did, he wasn't sure he could form two clear sentences with how exhausted his mind was. Levi hadn't much energy to try and reason with the voice pulling him down almost magnetically, he simply slipped under the sheets and closed his eyes, hoping for the guest who'd probably never come.

Upon having his head touch the pillow, loud thumping echoed in his ear. Levi groaned. It was too annoying that it alone would prevent him from sleeping. Since the past day, he started experiencing this with every sudden movement he made. His heartbeats would feel too clear against his chest, too loud against his ears. It was unsettling, as if his body was betraying him, unable to keep pace with his usually disciplined control.

He waited for it to calm down like usual, making a mental note to move carefully next time. When the annoying echoes persisted, he opened his eyes and groaned again loudly. That was enough of a motivation to make him get up and go for breakfast. Having to deal with the annoying thumping and a worried Hange would be too much.

He was not at all wrong when he thought he wouldn't be able to form two good sentences. Levi kept quiet for most of the breakfast. He ate but a little and played with more than half of his food. If he was asked about something he was gruff and brief, but luckily no one could see a difference in his demeanor.

"...Levi?" Mike was talking, and Levi only started listening at the mention of his name. He turned his head from his food to look at him fast, immediately amplifying his heartbeats. It was again like a drum pounding inside his ear, causing him to internally curse himself for it.

He found all eyes at the table on him, waiting for his response to whatever was asked. He particularly locked eyes with Hange, who seemed to look with intensive care and anticipation.

Lazy minded, he hadn't much of a choice for words to follow.

"Huh!" He looked at Mike, earning a change in expression from the latter.

"I was asking about Erwin. He'd been asking about you. Everyone had visited him except for you and you know, you two are good friends so you're supposed to be among the first. He's worried that you're mad at him for something."

Levi turned back to his food, taking a moment to think. The echoes in his ears didn't make it easier.

"I told Hange that I'll be visiting him."

"When will that be?"

"Why do you care about that?" Irritation rose in his voice.

Mike locked eyes with him for a few more seconds.

"This does sound like you are mad at him."

Levi pushed his chair back, standing up.

"See you at lunch." He muttered, leaving the table. He would've hated being mean to Mike, he was his friend. But that was something sane-minded Levi would worry about. With the blur he was experiencing now, he couldn't even realize any of the consequences of his actions, hell he couldn't even know how his actions came to be.

Soon, he was back in his room. He sat in his chair, feeling the unsettling pounding against his chest starting to finally subside. He was there for merely a few minutes when he heard his door get knocked. And before he could get up to open it, the knob was turned and Hange poked her head inside.

"Can I come in?"

Levi looked at her with raised eyebrows, surprised at her boldness. "I see you already did."

"Uh, I know." She pushed the door open and walked inside with comfort to the middle of the room. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to take the chance of you pretending not to be here when I really wanted to talk to you."

"And why would I do that?"

"I don't know, it's a hunch."

Levi shook his head helplessly. She wasn't wrong. It was on him though that he was brainless enough to ignore locking the door.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" He looked at her with concern.

Hange shifted her weight. She escaped his fixed gaze to the floor for a second and Levi thought that, well, that she might actually be nervous. He didn't get to see her like that in his four years of knowing her, he didn't even know she was capable of feeling it.

When she raised her head, however, her look was replaced by determination. She walked closer to him and sat at the edge of his bed, bringing herself face to face with him.

"Listen, Levi. Since the day we came back from the mission, you've never been yourself." She started and Levi pulled his head back with an expression as though she stubbed on his toe. "It's so clear that the death of your squad members has affected you. And it's completely normal that it would. But what it is not is when it starts to-"

"Wait wait." He crossed his arms defensively. "I thought I made myself clear when I said I didn't want to talk about it. And I told You that I'm fine."

"That's bullshit."

"Excuse me!"

"God Levi, you can't say something when every clue leads to the otherwise. I know you are smarter than that. Have you been sleeping at all lately? I've been staying up late and I've seen you wander the building more times than I'd seen the guards do. And the whole matter with Erwin, you cannot possibly convince me that you have been intending to visit him for five days, after he lost a goddamn arm! And still didn't get time."

"That's enough."

"And now you're fucking shaking." Her face twisted with pain, stealing a glance at his hands.

Levi felt his blood boil at seeing that look. He hated that he was weak, hated that she could see it and call it. The way she looked at him with pity. All he wanted was to hide but she kept on coming back.

"What do you want from me?" He half yelled.

"I just want you to talk to me dammit. I'm sure I can help if you'd just-"

"There's nothing I need help with."

"You are suffering alone."

"I am not suffering!" Levi suddenly rose to his feet. Hange jumped in her place in reflex, hearing the venom in his tone, seeing it more in his dark eyes. "From where do you get that? Do you want me to be another one of your experiments? Huh? Is that it? The suffering man you get to fix with your shit up drug or something? It's all in your fantasy, Hange."

"You know well that I would never think that."

"Then why are you making shit up?"

"I'm not."She frowned.

"You are! You are getting your nose into a territory that doesn't belong to you. So how about you stay the hell out of that border, and stop being a nosy prying bitch."

Hange closed her open mouth that was once ready to speak. She looked down, and Levi could swear he saw her face turn pale immediately. She got to her feet, never raising her eyes to look at him back again.

"You're right. I shouldn't have." Her voice was about a broken whisper.

She soon was walking her way outside. Levi created two shaky fists. He regretted his words immediately upon saying them. He wasn't even aware of what his mouth was going to say next until it did. He just didn't want to be seen as vulnerable and naked and she pressed right where it hurt. And he stiked back, way more harshly than he had ever intended.

"Hange." He whispered, having the thought of what he'd just done slowly sink into his lagging brain. "Hange!" He called louder and raised his head but she was not to be seen in his room.

Levi rushed outside and spotted her at the end of the hallway heading to her room. He rushed behind her with the speed his limping allowed until he kept up with her steps. He grabbed her arm to make her stop and she pushed him away.

"I'm sorry! I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

He said it, and he meant it. She was his good friend and she genuinely cared for him and that was how he paid her back, Levi felt awful.

Hange didn't say a thing, nor looked at him. She only went on walking and once she got to her room after a turn to the right, she slammed the door closed.

Levi stood there staring behind her tail. As if he needed an addition over all of his problems, to lose another person who meant the most to him. He almost wanted to punch himself on spot for being such an idiot.

—

For the first time in five days, he was the first on the table for lunch. He waited anxiously, restlessly, eyes turning from one side to another, feet tapping the floor. Everyone came and Hange didn't. Mike particularly kept wandering about her.

"Ah, there she is!" He said, earning a quick turn from Levi in that direction. It restarted the damnned pounding against his chest, he could swear it felt irregular this time. Hange grabbed her food but to his surprise, she turned and walked to sit at a different table alone.

Levi wasn't hungry anyway. Among his comrades' chatters and wanders about her, he got up and told them he'll see about it.

He nervously walked and sat next to her on the table.

"Hange."

"This is not your territory. So how about you leave this border." She didn't even look at him.

"I didn't mean what I said. I was an asshole. If it makes you feel better, I wasn't even aware of what was coming out of my mouth."

Levi watched as she filled her spoon with soup and guided it to her mouth. Hange chewed calmly, staring ahead of her.

"Hanj."

She remained silent, chewing what was now a second spoon. She still didn't look him in the eye and it killed him that she wouldn't.

"Really, now!"

"What you said hurt me, Levi." She started once she swallowed. "I didn't know I was annoying you. Saying you weren't aware only means it came straight out of your subconscious, which means you did believe and mean it."

Levi shook his head in disapproval but didn't want to interrupt her as she went on.

"An apology is not taking away the nasty feeling that remains after knowing that. I've already accepted your apology upstairs, but right now, I find it better if you'd just leave me alone for a while."

He'd wanted to tell her he didn't find her annoying. Truth is, that was not his subconscious and what he believed, but rather a mere defense mechanism from his mind to protect himself from having his walls crumble in front of her and his weakness exposed. So instead, he kept quiet, not adding any other word after being told to leave.

He got to his feet and did, his poker face crumbling to a careworn expression as he limped back to his room.

—

Ever since the whole matter with Hange, Levi's heart didn't give him a break. It was beating hard against his chest, not particularly fast, but too loud and erratic.

He hadn't left his room since lunch. After all, he was never hungry, and the only motivation he had to go was now mad at him, she'd probably be glad he didn't show up. At least that way she could sit with her usual comrades.

They would probably enjoy her company more anyway, so in the future, he better start sitting alone.

He didn't even leave his room during the night. Knowing she'd been staying up, the least he wanted was to run into her. Levi surrendered to his bed, granting the least rest he could offer for his bones in the warmth and softness of it. He hoped this would be the night he finally slept, but he knew it was far improbable with more on his mind now.

The night was so long. Sometimes, he felt like his usual nightmares had morphed into a stark reality. He could've sworn his memories were present there with him in the room. Until the biggest nightmare of all —the sunlight, appeared, announcing his sixth sleepless night.

(Day 6/7)

Levi was an empty shell, laying, staring, eyes glassy and empty, so many thoughts, so much exhaustion. So much loud echoing and unsettling sensation in his heart. He didn't get up from bed at all. Not when it was time for breakfast. Not when it was time for lunch.

He heard Mike knock on his door after breakfast but he was smart enough this time to have locked the door before he settled in. He didn't even move from his position, laying on his side with knees near his stomach and face staring out the window, lips partially parted.

Mike came back after lunch, with some other people from what Levi could distinguish. And did again after dinner. From their conversations, they seemed to think he had left HQ. He didn't even have the energy to care. He just laid there, waiting, silent and begging for the sleep to come.

At one point he stopped feeling time passing, he wasn't even sure he was thinking about anything anymore, just staring there emptily at the sky till it darkened.

He hadn't much hope of sleep coming anyway when his heart kept echoing into his ears annoyingly. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump... It was as though someone was knocking him on the head every passing second.

The sky was pitch black now, and he didn't even know how deep into the night they were. The voices disappeared outside with everyone sleeping, making his heartbeats appear too loud, in contrast with the surrounding quietness. It slowly drove him insane that he wanted to yell at it to stop at the top of his lungs.

As time passed by, it seemed to have grown increasingly louder, but for the first time, faster too. Levi got to a sitting position, he laid his shakey hand on his chest, feeling the erratic beats like a drum underneath his shirt. His movement upwards seemed to have made the matter worse.

He took in a deep breath to calm the thumping, but it only seemed to increase. Levi's eyes widened and he started gasping for air, barely keeping up with the beats. His chest felt heavy like some huge weight was pressed against it. He closed his eyes and focused on the inhales to slow it down.

Nevertheless, he couldn't help the anxiety that seeped into him. Fear crept inside him which was not at all helping the matter.

They were getting faster, faster, faster... His eyes opened wide as his heart rate grew too fast like he just run a mile. How the fuck can it go this fast when he's in bed and not doing anything!

Levi threw the bedsheets away and rose to his feet, adrenalin giving him all of the strength. He felt like he was going to die. He was scared, and it tightened his breathing more, bringing him into a vicious cycle. He rushed urgently towards his door, unlocking it and leaving to the hallway outside without even closing the door behind him. Everything around him was hazy, swaying, but he knew his goal and knew how to walk the path there. He didn't even limp his way as he rushed as fast as his muscles could allow. His ankle hurt but it was the least of his concerns now when he felt he was on the verge of dying.

Once he reached Hange's door, he was panting with effort. He knocked at the door with too much force that sent the loud knocks echoing through the entire hall. He didn't even wait another two seconds before he knocked again.

"Coming," Hange yelled, voice scared of whatever may come from these loud knocks in the middle of the night.

Levi fidgeted behind the door, suppressing the will to knock again and urge her. He attempted to regain control till she came but it was in vain when turmoil was all evident in his frightened eyes.

"Levi!" Hange's eyes grew wider, surprise painting her face.

He took a step inside, forcing her to retreat back.

"M' heart." He said, distress evident in his voice.

"What? What! What's wrong? Does it hurt?" Hange felt the fright inside of him, and it immediately transported to her. This is the first time she sees him like that.

Levi grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest, letting her feel the strong erratic beats. She immediately gaped at how fast it went, it was a wonder it didn't stop.

"What the hell!" Hange exclaimed. She stood there in shock for a second before she held him by the shoulder and tried to guide him to her bed. But Levi resisted her push. He looked at the wall behind her, hardly gasping for breaths.

"Come on." She muttered but he pulled away, turning back to rush outside of her door and back to the hallway.

"Where are you going, Levi?" She yelled.

One door at the end of the hallways opened and Hange glared at the prying face before she ran after her friend. By the time she got to him, Levi stopped running and placed a hand on a wall to his right for support. His back bent and he started throwing up. He hadn't eaten in a long time so it was all empty until some bile came out.

Hange was frightened. She placed a hand on his shoulder, waiting for him to finish, only then realizing he was intending to rush to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

"You're gonna be alright. You're gonna be alright." She repeated, stroking his arm. Sounding more like she was calming herself than him.

Once Levi was finished, he raised his head up. She saw tears glimmering in his eyes from the pressure getting sick had caused him. It tightened her heart. He soon turned back to the little mess he made.

"It's alright. I will clean it later." She reassured him.

Hange grabbed his upper arm and led him to her room, this time finding her own fingers shaking as well.

She guided him to her bed and sat him there. She tried to push him to lay down but he resisted it, staring back at her with begging eyes, as though mentally begging her to make it all stop.

"Lay down. You need to rest. And we need to elevate your legs." She said calmly.

Levi did as she told and soon found a few pillows pushed under his legs to raise them. Hange appeared back at his side, face filled with concern.

"Now tell me, Levi. Does your heart hurt?"

He only shook his head, breathing as though it was an immense task to do.

"Did you eat anything that could've caused this? Maybe someone has drugged you."

"I haven't eaten all day."

"Is there anything you suspect to be the cause of-"

"I havn't been sleeping. I' havn't slept in sevn days."

"What!" Hange's eyes grew so wide. "Oh my god Levi."

She pulled the same face she did yesterday, or was it today? He couldn't tell how long it's been. The pity face, the one he despised. Yet he was too helpless to pull his shit together and do anything. After all, seeing how he was now, he was indeed pathetic, deserving of pity.

Before he could dwell more on these thoughts, he felt his hand engulfed in her warmth. Hange pressed it tightly, looking down at him with softness.

"You will be fine. I'm going down to the medical ward fast. I won't take long."

With that, she rose to her feet and rushed outside at full speed. Levi watched behind her trail before he turned to stare at the ceiling. His heartbeats were all he could hear. He may die, but he trusted Hange to not allow it. He felt safe now that she was there to help. And he certainly, certainly will tell her when there's something wrong in the future, way earlier before it gets to this.

Levi's gasps for air got increasingly harder. At one point, he sat up in his place, feeling his exhausted muscles overload, working hard to fill his lungs but no amount of air was enough. He felt sick again but had no strength to move. And by god he didn't want to throw up on Hange's bed.

Amid his turmoil, Hange appeared inside with someone dressed in white. Her eyes looked wide and she moved urgently. She was speaking to him, that much he realized but he couldn't hear a single thing. Only ringing and thumping in his ear. She grabbed his arm and pushed his shirt up to his elbow.

Levi's head felt light and unresponding by the time he turned to look at them, seeing a needle being injected in him. His lids got heavier, and for once, his mind was fully blank.

—

Grey eyes opened slowly. There, Levi saw the sun slanting through the window again, but for the first time, it didn't feel like a bad guest who announced his failure to sleep.

His heart was stealthy, and breathing was easy. And for once, his brain didn't feel drained. All the memories he'd been reliving every moment felt a tiny bit more distant than usual. It was a relief!

Turning to the side, he found Hange sitting on a chair to his right, sleeping with her head down nearing her chest. He rose to sit up, this time feeling his muscles respond better, less exhausted.

Merely the tiniest of noise had her open her eyes with an undistinguished mumble and his name.

Hange took a deep breath, meeting his gaze. She smiled softly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good." Levi smiled at her back. He rarely did, and it sent her all of his gratitude without having to say a word. Hange laid back relieved.

"I swear to god Levi, If you lie to me again, I will kill you."

"I won't."

They stared at each other a moment longer.

"At this pace, Erwin should be the one coming to visit you."

"Hey, I'm good now. I'll go to him later... Thank you, for everything."

She nodded.

"And for the record, Now that I could think clearly, what I said to you back in my room was all bullshit."

"I know. I wouldn't hold you accountable for something you said without having slept for six days. Everyone must've been annoying at that point."

"It was." Levi turned to look ahead of him. "I don't know why that happened. I never wish for it to happen again. I think, I was thinking too much and then it just wouldn't stop. I intimidated the female titan, and she yelled to lure the titans and ran in response. I was thinking that if I didn't do that, then maybe we would've caught her. And they would've survived. And then maybe if I'd gone to them from the start without changing my gear I would've reached in time and saved them. But Erwin told me to do it, despite it being almost full. I trusted him. And it wasted the time and cost them their lives. All because he said that..." Levi stopped and breathed.

"Hey." Hange's voice rose from the side. It was the first time she had him open up like this and speak what's on his mind. She realized the amount of pain he carried. "None of this is on you. Who said she wouldn't have lured the Titans anyway without you intimidating her?"

"I know, but it could've gone differently. It was all for nothing. And I know that I wouldn't have known the outcome, so there's no point in regretting it. But when it could've been so easily prevented... If I'd just went with what I had and not changed it."

"Is this why you didn't want to see Erwin?"

"Maybe," Levi answered honestly. "I don't blame him. He wouldn't have known what would happen anyway. I just didn't feel like seeing him yet then."

"You wouldn't have known too, so don't beat yourself for it. Grieving their loss as is is bad enough. Don't add to that a pinch of guilt. You did what you could, Levi."

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, sending her a nod.

"How do you feel now?"

He thought a little. "Better."

"See, I told you it's always better to talk about it."

Levi breathed in and smiled. "It does!"

"It's better than having me Kill you, anyway. Now, won't you leave my bed and escort me to breakfast? There's so much we have to talk about. I think you broke the world record for the longest time spent without sleep. I need you to tell me everything and how it progressed on every day with precise description..."

Levi groaned, hearing her go on with growing curiosity. He knew what to expect. But he couldn't help but be a little amused with her. He would tell her everything, the least she owed him now was his complying with her wishes.

Heyy thereee, this is my first aot fanfic and I'm soo nervous about it. It took me longer than usual to write, and I'm still worried if the characters come off as ooc. I would love to hear your thoughts about it!
Just to point out, Hange's face was never pity, it was concern and sympathy, but being defensive when weak Levi doesn't like getting that look and misinterprets it.