She could feel it in the air, the enviroment, her body.
Her magic.
She was back.
She didn't know if she should be crying or laughing.
That was…
That was brilliant!
A desperate, stupid , half cooked brained plan actually worked? She means WORKED FOR REAL?
Mad.
She felt her heart beating widely in her chest, her legs trembling like a newborn foal, she was not certain if she was back to the year Albus wanted, or the year she wanted. After all, even near death, Albus was a brilliant bastard, pooling a wool on his eyes was as stupid as offering to go againt you-know-who. She could smack that idiotic dungbrain Severus was…
Oh.
Now she remembered she wasn't friend with that..that DEATH EATER fucker who sold her, sold her family just like..just like they were not friends at all.
Why was she thinking about that nutter? She never planned to be in the war. As soon as she was pregnant, She would get James and Harry and LEAVE. She was abit disgusted with herself to not think about Remus, Sirius or Peter, but Wars were crual, and so she had to be.
Wait.
What year it was?
If…if..
No. she couldn't imagine the pain, the heartache if she mistoke that her parents were alive. Petunia she had enough of her, but her mom and dad…
She felt her chest tightening, eyes bluring with long suppressed memories, wishes, dreams.
Of her dad to be in Harry's birthday, and her mom to be there when she was born.
Of James's parents to be alive, so James would stay the loving man he was.
She inhaled deeply, now wasn't the time.
Inhale. Hold, exhale.
Repeat.
Inha..
She noticed something strange, something very strange.
She was sitting on the grass, in front of her childhood house. She could tell it apart because her mom used to nag at his dad to cut them, and he often forgot to do so. Being a college professor was not the definition of an easy job, his students essays were long, and written poorly, and their knowledge about the world worse than that. He was the only one standing between them and the REAL ADULT world, and he had to hammer it into their heads. It was Severus job from when he was old enough to do so.
Fuck.
She had gone into thewrong road again.
But this wonderful smell… A sweet enticing smell, freshly baked cake in the air. the smell was ridiculously a crbon copy of the smell of her mom's famous apple pies.
'Lily it's the last time I am going to call you, or so help me I am going to phone that boyfriend of Petunia, the cake monster Vernon'
Mom.
MOM!
She had jumped into her arms like a little kid, holding her tight, as if she was afraid of her disappearance.
'there there Lily flower, stop suffocating me. Gush OK! I wont call that boy! You can have all the cakes you need'
She held her for dear life, trying so hard not to burst into tears.
Oh mommy, if you knew..if only you knew how I let you down…you would offer to give me a single slice..
My wonderful mom.
My mother, alive and well.
Life was brill now.
Her mom was alive, her dad was alive and petunia was not engaged to that whale , wouldn't be until another two years.
Aside from the looks she got from her parents, all was well.
You see, it was a week past her holiday, in which in her first day back, she had told them all about her break up with Sev.
She had spent the bloody hot week sitting on the grass in front of house , mooping, sulking and occasionally crying her eyes out.
Now a week later, she had turned a new leaf, goofing around and smiling like a silly sod. She couldn't blame them for being concerned, for fearing if she had a bloody psychological breakdown.
Petunia for once in her life, was considerate. Not calling her a freak, never mentioning magic, or Hogwarts, or Severus.
Maybe it was because she understood being humiliated. Maybe she get it how it felt when the one you shared your first kiss just a couple days ago, rejected you in front of the whole school.
She never told them that on that day, she had an unfortunate encounter with a bogart, in shape of her then best friend, in the road to be something more than friend.
He was wearing death eater robes. Raising his wand to end her.
But nobody knew she was not that girl trapped in a bad place. She was in fact not a girl at all, but a young woman in her 20s, who had lived the tragedy of losing her baby, and husbad all on top of griving for her parents death.
She was having fun, and god she needed it.
She tried being a carefree girl again. she went to cinema, tried stupid outfits and weird combination of nail polish. Stuffed her stomach with as much fish and chips as she could and didn't give a shit about whether she would get fat or not.
She tried calling wrong numbers, eating so many flavors of ice cream her tongue felt frozen, and read trashy novels with big heros and love triads and happy endings.
Life was perfect.
Yes, she ignored all her letters, just replied shortly that she was ok, and not to worry.
From Marry, who wanted to brag about the fact she was right, and gush over James.
From Marlene, who wanted to nag about Sirius not leaving her alone, or bagger her about going shopping.
And Remus…
Remus who wanted to excuse James's behavior…
Whatever her friends wanted, to make her feel better, to get her mind off things, or in remus part, excusing stupid bullying, she didn't want it.
Didn't need it.
She was where she wanted, with her family.
And seeing James… it made her afraid. So so afraid.
After all, he was her husband, who had died and left her alone. He also was not her lover, but a boy who thought holding someone upside down and hexing them was fun. He was a boy, who probably only had his first kiss, not even onto second base yet.
And she had memories of them together, doing far more than that. She couldn't think of the last time they had been together, losing harry, losing her parents and losing the war didn't left so much for want.
And now she was nearly six years younger, in a teenage body who couldn't deal with those blasted memories . it would get awkward, painful and …
She was not ready yet. And he was just a boy, not yet 17.
Gush was it child abuse? Sexual harassment? After all she was 22 now, and he was…16.
Blasting time travel shit. She couldn't figure what to do in her own house, and things would get worse when she had to go back to school, face the music fully.
Fuck.
So she ignored remus letters, anxious for reply. Sometimes she thought for all his brain, remus too was stupid. Didn't he understand that she was not in the mood? Was he dense?
Probably.
It could be the guilt of letting his friends get away with everything, or it could be James baggering him. Whatever it was, she was not amused. At least Marry and Marlene got it first time.
And merlin..the lat letter was like a half threat.
'dear Lily
Please please answer me, or I will have to come in person and check on you. I am dying from not hearing from you. I beg you my friend. I just cant stop worrying if you..if you want to break it up with me too'
She had huffed. Just when he would grow a bone? Only thinking about himself being friendless?
"dear lily.. I will send James if you don't reply"
Aha, as if sending him would make her happy. If she was not a 22 years old time traveling woman, and the 16 years old she was supposed to be, she would have blown a gasget. Was remus dumb? Couldn't he figure out if she was mad at him, she was triple mad at James? And was not happy if he handed her address to him?
Were all boys such idiots in this stage?
Probably.
Knock, knock.
Oh, gush. If it was bloody VERNON again, she would throw herself out of the window.
'Tuney! Go get the door. I wont be going to welcome your dear Vernon'
She yelled at the top of her head.
And nothing. Was she deaf? Not home?
She couldn't tell. She had been so absorbed in this stupid novel she hadnt got it where everyone hwere.
'fine!' she said sulkingly.
And she opened the door only to face the object of her fear.
James Potter in front oh her house, leaning on the fence and watching the lawn mover with wonder.