Chapter 24
"Doubt thou that the stars are fire; doubt thou that the sun doth move; doubt the truth to be a liar; but never doubt I love." -Shakespeare –
Two Steps Forward
Louisa and Melanie spent a quiet morning at home Monday morning. Martin decided a day of rest after her issues the night before was needed.
Joan had quietly spoken to Melanie informing her of the incident and to keep a watchful eye on Louisa.
All-day Melanie replenished Louisa's water with fresh cool water, counting each time she did.
"Melanie, thank you," Louisa said with a smile. "I can refill my glass on my next walk around the house. I'm not disabled."
Melanie's eyes had a hurt look in them as she replied, "I take my job seriously. I was asked to make sure you stay hydrated and I will. The last thing I want is your husband's wrath because I didn't follow his medical directions."
"My emergency last night was my fault and nobody else's. I let myself get so distracted in my research that I forgot. Thank you Melanie for my reminders this morning to drink. Let us finish this paperwork and we can take a short walk on the coastal path," Louisa states with a knowing smile.
ME/LE
The smell of freshly baked bread in the house caught Louisa's attention as her stomach growled.
"Joan, when did Martin say he would be home?" she asks as she entered the kitchen.
"He and Ruth should be home shortly. I dropped Ruth off at the surgery, she wanted to have a word with him."
"They better get here soon or there won't be any bread left," Louisa says as she watched her son pick another bit of bread from his tray and place it into his mouth.
ME/LE
Ruth startles me with a hug as I prepare to open my consulting room door. "Easy Martin, I thought you needed it," she says as she lowers her tight hold on me.
I am about to ask when a noise in the reception area halts all thoughts. I pull the door open quickly, surprised to see Mrs. Tishell standing by Morweena's desk. The sound of the door opening causes the woman to abruptly turn around knocking the cake tin on the desk to crash to the ground. A look of surprise passes across her face as she notices I am not alone.
"Doctor Ellingham, I… I just came by to see if… the new quarterly MRHA bulletin just arrived. I thought you and I could have some tea and cake while we go over the interesting articles."
Ruth could hear the low groan emanating from her nephew before he finally uttered any words, "Mrs. Tishell, we have spoken about this before. I do not eat cake and I do not have time now."
Ruth saw the hurt in the woman's eyes just as she looked down at the floor, noticing for the first time the cake tin had fallen open with the cake spilling onto the carpet. She quickly knelt picking up chunks of broken cake and placing each piece in the tin.
"Doctor Ellingham, I am so sorry… I didn't mean to make ..."
"Look at the mess…" but I was stopped mid-sentence by Ruth placing her hand on my arm.
"Martin, do you have a sweeper? We can clean up the crumbs quickly," Ruth asked as she continued to grasp my arm, shaking her head to keep my attention.
"Yes," I grumble and leave my aunt to deal with Mrs. Tishell.
By the time I return my aunt is by herself standing with a cake tin in her hand and a confused look on her face.
"Where is Mrs. Tishell?"
"She left. Martin, may I ask you what your relationship is with that woman?"
"Professional, she is the Chemist for the village."
"Interesting," Ruth murmurs.
As usual, I don't understand Mrs. Tishell's actions or my aunt talking to herself. I quickly run the sweeper over the bits of crumb so we can go home. I need to see Louisa and Phillip.
ME/LE
Phillip was more animated than usual at dinner. I assume having Ruth sitting next to him, he had extra incentive to talk. Ruth plays her part well in their conversation along with Joan keeping him occupied as I try to talk to my wife.
"How was your day? Any pain, contractions like yesterday," I ask.
"No, nothing, Joan and Melanie made sure I kept up with my fluids. I was in the loo more than usual," she says with a glint.
"Good."
With the table cleared, dishes cleaned, and the tea brewing my mind alerts me of the subtle noises upstairs. Phillip is calling for me, as Louisa finishes his story. My aunts are moving around the extra bedroom with muffled conversation. I hurry up the stairs and enter my son's room ensuring he is not causing Louisa any pain with his wiggling.
"Phillip, what is your problem tonight? You know your mommy can't pick you up. You must be a big boy for your mommy and wait for your daddy."
"Dadda, I fel babbies!" he squeals as he puts his head up to his mother's stomach. "Cum, fel," he says.
I squat down, eye level with my son, and place my hand on Louisa. The squealing Phillip made brought my aunts into the doorframe as Phillip moves my hand across Louisa's stomach, "No Dadda, here."
"Yes, Phillip, I feel the baby moving." The proud look on his face of his discovery brings a smile to my face.
"We were reading the story when one of the twins moved, it wasn't much. Phillip was a bit surprised and looked at me and the baby moved again. I didn't want him to be frightened so I explained he would have a baby coming soon to play with," Louisa explained. "Then not to be outdone our other child started moving. Phillip became very excited when I said there would be two babies to play with."
"Babbies" Phillip squealed again and to our surprise, he turned and kissed Louisa's stomach. "Luv babbies."
"Well, that was an easy explanation on where babies come from," Ruth smirked.
ME/LE
I finish brewing the new pot of tea, setting it on the table in front of Joan and taking my place next to Louisa to hear the news Ruth has brought us from London.
"Dawn Hudson was Christopher's lover, companion if you wish. But the interesting part is she is William Shawcross' mother."
The surprised gasps around the table from Joan and Louisa pause any further announcement.
"It seems Christopher was Mr. Shawcross's surgeon many years ago. The Shawcross were having marital difficulties and Christopher had his first encounter with her while the husband was in the hospital and that encounter produced a child. Margaret was nearly nine months pregnant at the time."
"How did you find this out," I ask.
"William told me. He and I met with Alistair; William had some questions. He knew about his mother's affair and provided insight into his family and the business. His parents were having money difficulties with setting up a new business which put a strain on the marriage."
Ruth pauses to sip her tea.
"Mrs. Shawcross was beautiful and fell for Christopher's charms resulting in the short affair. The affair ended when William's father was discharged from the hospital. She discovered she was pregnant but never told Christopher. She and your father met a few years later and renewed their affair. Christopher was told about her pregnancy. Your father kept in touch, helping out when she asked. William didn't know that his father was not his biological father until his death when William required financial help for the failing business and she contacted Christopher and introduced William to his real father. Mr. Shawcross wasn't a very good businessman but it seems the son is. For twenty years, Christopher and William have had a relationship with the business and Dawn as your father's lover. Christopher put her into one of his properties and they hid their affair from Margaret. Christopher started hiding his assets planning to divorce Margaret but Margaret wouldn't accept the thought of divorce until a couple of years ago. That is when Christopher told her he lost all their money in that golf course scam. It didn't take Margaret long to come to terms with Christopher and filed for divorce. She took the property in Lisbon that he bought her and the money he swindled out of you Martin. Christopher and Dawn refreshed their love for one another until he died. William asked for some time to move his mother to his house. He is having an additional room added to the back of his house."
Ruth finishes her news with another sip of tea and then dips her biscuit in before taking a bite.
"Leave it to our brother to make the most out of his life without thought to anyone else," Joan angrily mutters.
"William's mother must be old, would it be wise to force her to move out of her home," Louisa asked. "She lost someone special in her life, we can't just kick her to the ground, can we," she says as she looks toward me.
"Ruth, what were Alistair's thoughts on the property?" I ask.
"There was a note in the file on this property; Christopher requested the resident be allowed to stay if he died before her."
Louisa took hold of my hand under the table, squeezing it to show her support for the woman who lost the love of their life.
"Ruth, inform William and Alistair that I will abide by my father's wishes."
Still holding onto Louisa's hand I bring it up from under the table and kiss her palm, then stand and walk to my study. I close the door and walk over to my chair, sitting into it heavily, 'my father knew he had another son, did his indifference towards me mean he loved him more than me? Was I that hard to love?'
I don't know how long I sat there, I would have spent the night in my chair lost in thought if the soft knocking at the door hadn't brought me to the present. The door slowly opened and Louisa came in, walking softly up to me, guiding her arms around my shoulders while placing a light kiss on my temple, "Martin time to take me to bed. Joan and Ruth have gone upstairs. Come husband, I need your wonderful arms wrapped around me." She pulls me up and leads me upstairs, first we stop in our son's room. The sight of him comfortable and safe pulls the darkness away. Louisa leaves me with Phillip while she attends to nightly ablutions. I adjust his blanket, run my fingers across his cheek and feel myself calm just a bit more. Satisfied I turn to go find Louisa, she is waiting for me in bed so I go to the en-suite to brush my teeth and strip down to my pants. Crawling under the covers I spoon up to Louisa so I can wrap my arm around my two children.
"Thank you, you always know what I need. I love you, Louisa."
"Don't ever forget that you will always be loved, Martin."
I snuggle up as close as possible, and place a kiss in my special place upon her neck, enjoying the feeling of the twin's movement to my touch. Sleep comes easy when I feel loved.
ME/LE
Making her way quickly up the hill, past the Large restaurant, Morweena franticly searches through her oversize bag for her key. 'The Doc will be upset with me if the surgery isn't open on time. Where is the blasted key?' Her fingers finally grasp the single key. She pulls it from the bottom of the bag and shoves it into the keyhole, pushing the door open to make her entrance. As she makes her way across the room, turning the lights on, and switching on the power to the computer and printer, her eyes scan for the flashing light for messages on the phone. Seeing only the steady light she pulls open the green file drawer, lifting the first bundle of stacked patient files for the morning appointments out. The noise of mail dropping to the ground from the mail slot catches her attention away from the appointment book and the patient files. 'Dave is running late, I wonder who baked for him today.' She makes her way to the mail on the ground, placing it on her desk before heading to the kitchen to make a cuppa of tea.
With her large cuppa Morweena settles in her chair, sipping the hot beverage as she sorts the mail. Stopping when she comes upon another suspicious envelope, turning it over looking for the sender's name but once again there isn't one. Sliding the edge of the letter opener under the envelope flap she proceeds to open it, pulling the note out slowly, she recalls the scent of perfume from the other notes. Just like the other notes, the handwriting is the same. 'Well, I guess the Doc has a secret admirer.'
The ringing of the phone pulls Morweena from her thoughts, picking up the handset she gathers the note and envelope placing them in her drawer with the others. "Portween surgery, how may I help you?"
ME/LE
Sitting in the lounge listening to my choice of music that evening, Louisa asks, "What do you think these two will be like," rubbing her hand across her swollen belly. "Maybe one like you and one like me would be nice?"
"Phillip is very much my clone but with your personality. These two…" I lay my hand over hers, "Can be anything you wish, but I would love it if one is a girl that looks just like you." I lean over and kiss her lips.
"Martin, I would love all my children to be your clone. That way I could shout to the world that they were wrong."
"What do you mean?"
Louisa looks closely into my eyes, even in these early stages of our marriage, she can read me like a book. My armour is shielding me.
"Oh, Martin… what I mean is I want my children to be as sensitive as you are. You will understand their issues and can guide me when they have any issues. For example, Phillip and his shyness; the night John came for dinner, Phillip latterly buried himself into your shoulder and you easily eased his fear. I want our children to know their sensitive nature won't be an issue that we, their parents, understand and will help them. Remember your aunt's conversation in London at breakfast while Phillip entertained Ruth, that incident broke my heart when they described you and the changes that a four year transitioned into by the age of six. Your introversion into your shell from all the bullying, abuse, and lack of physical love had finally taken its toll. I have seen your self-confidence improve over this past year, you opened up to Phillip and me, but mostly with Phillip. You are a very private man and these past months you left your safe place. You kissed me in public. Allow your son to shower with you. I am very proud of you and love you even more."
Of course, I blush and try to hide my emotions that are surfacing, so I bury my face into my safe place, Louisa's neck, and softly kiss her as I mumble, "I love you."
Then her words dawned on me, where did I go to seek refuge when I am overwhelmed and need assurance, my son and I are very much alike. I pull my head up and look into her eyes, "However our children display their personality, they will find a loving mother and I am grateful for that."
Louisa leans towards me, placing her lips on mine, and giving the most passionate kiss as my emotions with the love for this woman.
The next morning we lay cuddled together, Louisa kisses my chest and props herself up on her arm to get a better look at my expressive eyes. The sun is just making an appearance through the break in the curtains. Louisa's mind flashes memories of their time at the cottage on the beach making love, creating the two lives growing inside her now. 'Thou, sun, art half as happy as we. In that the world's contracted thus.'* Louisa whispers, kissing her husband's lips.
I smile as I look at my beautiful wife.
'Princes do but play us; compared to this. All honors' mimic, all wealth alchemy.' I respond with a kiss of my own.
A soft smile reaches Louisa's green eyes as I deepen my kiss. Hands sliding, bodies pressing, when that unmistakable sound finally is realized… Phillip is awake. So our day begins.
"Martin, what time are you picking me up?" Louisa asks as she places a few more cereal pieces on Phillips' tray.
"I finish surgery at ten-thirty this morning. I thought I would pick you up shortly after and we could stop for lunch before your appointment at one-thirty."
"Melanie and I should be back by ten from yoga, so that should work."
"Mmm, then I will pick you up here when I'm done."
Later that morning, Louisa and I drive across the moor, each in our own world. Louisa seems a bit nervous as her lip is pulled under her upper teeth.
"Louisa, everything will be fine. A few measurements and we will see the twins developing," I voice as I try to ease her concerns.
"I'm just nervous that one or both may not be developing as they should. All the research on what can go wrong is making me crazy."
I reach over and take her hand, turning the palm up so I can rub little circles with my thumb to relax her. "Louisa, the last time we received the best news as far as I am concerned. Separate amniotic sacs with two placentas. The twins can grow without the other repressing their growth."
She shakes her head, "I know, just worrying, thinking the worst will happen." She turns to look out the side window, drawing in calming breaths, "Martin, everything will be fine. You are making sure I do everything my doctors have said to do, and I promise I won't forget my promise to you."
She closes her eyes and leans her head back trying to relax. "What are we listening to today?"
"A few Bach pieces I thought would relax us on our drive."
"Lovely sounds, now that I'm listening. Thank you, Martin, the music is relaxing," she says as she squeezes my hand.
ME/LE
"Good afternoon Doctor Rawle," Louisa says as Doctor Rawle points us towards his office. We take our seats in front of his desk while he settles and opens the file on his desk.
"How are you feeling today Louisa?"
"Better than Martin's last conversation with you, I am embarrassed that I caused so much trouble."
"Important part, Martin caught it early and no harm done. Today's appointment will take longer than your last one. I will perform an anatomy ultrasound on each fetus with measurements for growth and weight. Martin or I will explain what we are seeing. If the fetus is in a good position we could discover the gender, so do you want to know their gender?"
"Yes, we do but only if you can identify both. If one decides to be shy then we can wait for the next scan. Don't you agree Martin?"
"Yes, sounds logical to know both."
"I will make four ultrasound measurements on each fetus. The HC is the head circumference. The BPC is the biparietal diameter which is the distance between the sides of the fetus's head. The AC, abdominal circumference is a very important measurement because it most accurately reflects fetal size. And last in the FL, femur length, a measurement of the upper thighbone. These measurements are entered into a mathematical formula that is used to calculate the estimated fetal weight. There are many different formulas for weight estimation and even the best ones have a fifteen percent margin of error in eighty-five percent of all fetuses. In other words, about one in seven fetuses will weigh more or less than estimated."
Louisa looks over at me, I nod in total agreement with this information. "Louisa it is the closest we can estimate their weight. But let's wait and see what the measurements provide."
Any other questions, if not let's begin."
I help Louisa onto the examination table and arrange her clothes for the exam. Once we are ready, Doctor Rawle applies the warm gel to Louisa's abdomen and begins to move the wand around until he finds one of the fetuses.
"Well it seems we won't find out the gender today, fetus 'A' has its legs crossed."
"Oh, Martin look at that face. Isn't that a beautiful face?"
I am overwhelmed with emotions coursing through me, a tear tumbles down my cheek. Luckily for me, Louisa is busy looking at the screen to notice.
The wand moves over the skull and Doctor Rawle measures the anterior and posterior horns of the lateral ventricles. He moves further around the cerebellum, posterior fossa, and mid-brain taking measurements and looking for signs of problems.
I explain to Louisa what each picture relates to and he does not see any abnormalities.
"The skull shape and integrity are within normal range," Doctor Rawle states. "Let me make these measurements of the HC and BPD before I move on."
He moves the wand over the neck measuring the nuchal fold thickness, then down the spine. Again I explain what we are seeing.
My eyes light up when Doctor Rawle brings the heart into view, and I watch the beating rhythm of my child's heart. I lean in closer as the scan continues to focus on the chambers moving in perfect synch, pumping the flow of blood in and out.
"Perfect rate and rhythm," I announce.
Doctor Rawle finishes his notes for the heart and moves on to the thorax, looking for the lungs' development.
"Louisa, the lungs are developing well. I don't see any abnormalities. That is very good news," announces Doctor Rawle.
The wand moves further along the abdomen and as different organs come into view, I explain to Louisa what we are seeing. The stomach, kidneys – first the left and then the right, the liver, and bladder all developing. Doctor Rawle stops and measures the AC.
"Look, is that their fist opening?" Louisa asks.
"Yes, it is. Let's see if they will open it and count their fingers," Doctor Rawle says.
After further examination of all of the limbs, Doctor Rawle focuses on the femur of the left leg and does another measurement for the FL. Doctor Rawle finishes off his exam with the placenta position again for anomalies on the first fetus.
"Fetus 'A' is developing normally. Now let's see about Fetus 'B', he says as he moves the wand again in search of our other child. Again the position of the fetus does not allow the parents to discover the gender.
"This one is turned away so we'll try next time," Doctor Rawle states.
"We have shy children, not wanting their mommy and daddy to know until they are born," Louisa says with a giggle.
After completing the same examination he announces the same with Fetus 'B' and moves on to look at the cervix and amniotic fluid.
"Louisa, Martin, I am very happy with the measurements and development of each fetus. I don't see any anomalies. Let's get you cleaned up and we'll go to my office and talk further."
Doctor Rawle is sitting at his desk when Louisa and I reenter and sit down in our chairs. He finishes typing into his computer and looks up with a big smile on his face. "Louisa, do you have any questions?"
"No, Martin explained everything as we watched and he answered a few as I redressed."
"As I said earlier, I am very happy with their development. I made my calculations from the measurements and we have the following. Fetus 'A' is the larger of the two. Estimated weight at two hundred twenty-six point seventy-nine grams, with an estimated length of twenty-two point eighty-six centimeters. Fetus 'B' is a bit smaller with an estimated weight of two hundred one point twenty-eight grams, and an estimated length of nineteen point sixty-nine centimeters. Both are smaller than the average fetus at twenty weeks but well within the average for multiple birth fetuses."
Louisa looks toward me for confirmation of what she just heard.
"Here are the printouts with additional pictures with measurements for you Martin," Doctor Rawle says. "I am sure you will want to verify the measurements yourself."
I acknowledge his smirk, "Yes, just to ease Louisa's mind. Thank you."
"The next appointment I will repeat the measurements. The fetuses should double their weight in the next four weeks and I have spoken to Doctor Gee about the weight of the fetuses will affect your back. Louisa you might think eight hundred to a thousand grams isn't much in weight but think of your current pain with half that. Do everything we talked about and ask Mary Stafford for some extra stretches for your back. Do you have any questions?"
"Just one, when will you clear me to have sex with my husband?" she asked without looking at me.
"Louisa… we don't need to…" I stammer.
"Louisa, I want to consult with Doctor Gee and we can decide in four weeks. I believe it will be your twelve-week post-injury consult, let's see how well you healed before I give you the go-ahead.
'The last thing I want is to force Louisa into having intercourse, I can wait. Her well-being is more important. I went years without, I can wait as long as they want us to.' I think without looking at the other people in the room.
"I see Doctor Gee later today and I can discuss it with him," Louisa says with that very determined look.
"We'll talk about it at our next appointment, Louisa," Doctor Rawle states.
"Louisa, we should get down to Orthopedics for your appointment," I say breaking my silence. "Doctor, we will see you in four weeks." I stand and help Louisa up.
We make our way down the hall to the lifts, I reach over and take her hand, interlacing our fingers, feeling her tension slowly release the longer I run my thumb over the back of her hand. When the doors close and we are alone for the ride, I turn to her, "Louisa, can we discuss this later at home. We don't need to rush it. I just want you and the babies to make it through this pregnancy with as little pain for you as possible."
"Martin, I miss you, being with you like that. I will ask Doctor Gee to talk with Doctor Rawle and that I want an answer at my next appointment."
The lift doors open and we proceed to her next appointment. Louisa is walking back from the restroom when we hear her name called for her appointment.
"Louisa, how are you doing?" Doctor Gee asks as he extends his hand to Louisa and then to me.
"Good," she replies.
I have the report from Mary Stafford and I understand you saw Doctor Rawle earlier today. Did he give you the weight of the twins?"
"Yes, their combined weight is around four hundred twenty-nine grams," Martin answers.
"Are you having any difficulties?"
"Not really, I do all the exercises on my list. Mary is working on more of the back yoga position to keep me stretched out. I think swimming is helping strengthen my muscles. I walk four times a day for fifteen minutes each and you know the hills around Portween make my walks a little harder. Martin does my massages every evening. I don't think I forgot anything, did I, Martin?"
"No, don't believe so."
"Ok, then let's get you on the table for your examination."
Doctor Gee proceeded to put pressure on Louisa's sacrum, feeling his way down to her coccyx. "Any pain when I push here?"
"Just a bit uncomfortable."
"Good; the coccyx feels stable. The different exercises I have you doing have stabilized it. I don't believe it will be an issue the further you progress with your pregnancy. I'll send Mary a few suggestions to help you strengthen those areas. Your swimming regime, do you only do freestyle?"
"Yes, should I do something more?"
"I would like to change it up a bit. When do you swim, I'll have Mary supervise the changes I want to add. But it is basically a whip kick or some call it a frog kick. It will help strengthen the entire muscle region in your lower back."
"Monday, Wednesday mornings, and Thursday afternoon."
"I think you are right on track; I'll discuss what we need to watch for at our next appointment to get you through the rest of this pregnancy. Do you have any questions?"
Louisa looks at me, and shakes her head, "No, I will wait to hear from Mary and start the new exercises."
ME/LE
I buckle Louisa into her seat and walk around to start our trip home. I change out the CD to help us relax on our way home. "I think you will like this CD Louisa it is the Schubert Piano Trio #2 in E flat major with Edgar Moreau lead on the cello." I start the music as we make our way out of Truro.
Louisa leans back, with her eyes closed, remembering her day. 'Everything is going well with this pregnancy, my injury is healing but nobody will tell me what I want to know.' As the music plays Louisa can feel the sensual tension in each movement. Her dreams relive her vivid thoughts of this past February in the cottage by the beach. 'Martin's renewed interest in her, in them, together. Martin's voice in the background explains each movement in his sexy baritone as if he is touching her seductively as the music flows through the car. His hand is resting on my thigh, oh please move it higher her mind screams.'
"Louisa, we're home, Louisa wake up."
Startled Louisa wakes, and looks around, 'oh my I was dreaming. Martin and I need to talk.'
End of Chapter
You can find Schubert Piano Trio #2 in E flat major played by Edgar Moreau on YouTube. There are many versions of it but I love Edgar Moreau version with Renaud Capucon, and Nicholas Anelich. Rostropovich's version is too fast and you lose the joy of each movement that brings you to the climax at the end. I love watch Edgar play his cello with his hair bouncing as each movement crests to each height.
*Lines from the 3rd stanza of 'The Sun Rising' by John Donne. Written some point during Donnes' life (1572 – 1631) the idea is relatable enough despite the context exist in a time past it remains interesting piece of literature today. Two lovers together, waking up alongside each other, and because love is timeless, the rising sun should leave them alone, rather than force them to leave. But these lovers have a thirteen month old that won't wait.