Chapter 27
I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist
I stare from afar in my hand-broken heart while I play pretend
I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist
And it's you, yes, it's true, you don't even know it, I can't ever win
Am I invisible?
Should I let it go? Would you ever know?
Am I just another crazy laying on the low?
Am I invisible?
Will you ever see what you do to me?
Breaking hearts in the dark so easily
Am I invisible?
"Invisible" by Anna Clendening
Nobody Knows
After a long day at the surgery, I am sitting at my desk with the last of the patient notes, as the clock strikes five times. My thoughts are sliding from one incident to the next. What happened to our quiet, boring village where the gossip ruled our lives, not the intrigue of this past week?
I see the pride in Louisa's eyes when she retells the passing conversations from the brawl, as she calls it. But her eyes also show the hurt of what Danny's friends' words entailed, the lies he told because his ego couldn't take the truth that she didn't love him and hadn't for years.
During our conversation surrounding my night at the pub, she spoke of her time in London alone and pregnant with Phillip. She never once thought of calling Danny to help her. My confidence grew that night, knowing that she loved me and not him even when we separated and called off our wedding. That night helped us to move even closer together in our lives.
Now I have some wanton woman, sneaking around delivering love notes by famous writers. As I think about it; she sounds as if she is delusional, since she can't express her personal feelings in her own words.
Who can it be?
As I try to remember anyone lately showing these signs, my mind is blank. Just the same since the day I became the GP in Portwenn. Nobody comes to mind. In my defense, I don't socialize so how can I interact with this woman? Besides, as Joan puts it, I would be the last person to realize. The memory of Joan commenting about me noticing Louisa in our earlier time, that's because I knew I wanted to see her, get to know her. Mrs. Wilson was the exact opposite, I couldn't wait to leave, but I didn't notice her fondness for me either. I didn't notice Louisa wanted to get to know me or did I. A few memories come to mind… her being upset with Bert's blood gag at the pub. She gave Bert a tongue lashing like any teacher would a student that misbehaved. The night we spent in the hospital with that boy… Peter Conk, I think it was… her kissing me in the taxi on our way back to Portwenn, of course, I didn't realize I shouldn't have insulted her on her bad breath. I was overwhelmed, hazy, and not in full control of myself. I know better now what that feeling is, it is love.
The sound of my mobile vibrating interrupts my thoughts.
"Ellingham… Yes, Louisa, I am just leaving. See you soon."
ME/LE
This same week Martin and Louisa had dinner with the aunts and dealt with the ramifications of the emergency at the pub, we find our way to the farm.
As the four of us part ways at the surgery parking space; Martin and Louisa make their way to their home with Phillip, and Joan drives her sister to the farm.
"I spoke to every B&B and hotel from Launceston to Bodmin, over to Padstow; Margaret is not staying around here. She could have rented a house but that would be expensive for a short weekend stay."
"What I gathered from Alistair, Margaret is short on funds. A rental house wouldn't fit her purse. That leaves accommodations further away..."
After some silence as the women took in the sights and their thoughts, Ruth's humming startles Joan.
"What?"
"What if she knows someone? She could be staying with them. She left England for Portugal which broke off many of her ties here."
Silence once again slips between the sisters, as each thinks of who this person could be. Soon, Joan pulls onto the gravel drive outside the farmhouse and they look at each other with questioning faces as Al quickly walks up to the truck.
Al waits patiently as the women step out of the vehicle before asking,
"Do either of you know a Margaret?"
The sisters quickly turn toward each other with surprised expressions.
"Al, how… Did she come here? Is she here, now?"
"No, a woman by the name of Margaret called around half past, asking for you, Joan. I told her you weren't available and that's when she asked for Ruth. I said she wasn't here and then I asked for her name and a number for Joan to call. She gave me her name and said she would telephone back later and hung up."
"I wonder what she's playing at."
"Thank you, Al," Ruth says as her face turns professional.
"Is there a problem I should know about?"
"Let's talk inside over a nice cup of tea," Joan replies.
The three turn to enter the farmhouse; Al has never seen Joan this upset before. Ruth, he doesn't know very well but her expression reminded him of when the Doc gets angry with his dad. His thoughts follow him as he fills the kettle at the tap. First, he wonders who, this Margaret is, and second why she made these two so angry. As he pulls mugs down along with the canister of tea, he watches and listens to their conversation. Ruth turns to leave as she pulls out her mobile.
"I will make sure Louisa knows Margaret has made contact and that she should be on the lookout for Margaret around the surgery."
While Ruth texts Louisa, Al pours the hot water into the teapot and pulls the milk from the fridge.
Joan collapses into a chair, staring at the wall with the phone, mumbling to herself for the phone to ring.
Al quickly pours the brewed tea into Joan's cup and pushes the milk towards her, then places the sugar bowl and spoon into her hands.
"Joan, drink some tea and tell me what is happening."
Ruth walks back into the kitchen announcing,
"Louisa said Martin's phone has been silent. He is currently giving Phillip his bath and she will insist he read the bedtime story tonight so his mobile will be on their bed in his coat."
"Here Ruth," Al says as he pushes her a cup of hot tea as she takes a seat across from Joan.
Al allowed both women to fix their tea and take several sips before he asked once again who Margaret is and what problem surrounded her being in Portween.
"Margaret is Martin's mother."
"You remember her when she visited a few years ago when Pauline was the receptionist."
"I met his dad in the pub the night the Doc bought him in for dinner; they sat with Mark and Julie, I never saw his mum."
"Our brother passed away around the same time Louisa was injured in London."
They continued sipping their tea; each in their thoughts.
"Morweena told me after you and Doc drove off to London that night."
The sister's startled faces made him pause.
"She didn't mention anything about your brother Joan, just that Louisa was in an accident and injured. You said you had unexpected business in London, and the Doc needed to be there with you. It wasn't until the Doc called Morweena telling her a temporary doctor would occupy the surgery until he returned. She didn't say anything else."
Ruth watches the young man for some time. He showed signs of nerves – possible guilt – a bit of anxiety – over what she wondered. A twitch – from nerves or anxiety…
Al notices when he finished the rambling speech that Ruth was watching him again. Joan said her sister was a psychiatrist and worked at a hospital with mentally ill felons. Why did she have to look at him like he was one of her patients?
"I may have said it wrong… with you staring at me like that… it is nerve-racking."
Joan looks up from her cup and eyes her sister over the rim and slowly looks over towards Al.
"Ruth, stop analyzing the young man. You'll scare the poor boy."
"Al, forgive an old woman, an occupational habit as a doctor," Ruth provides Joan with a smirk.
"Yea, the Doc does that look and the next thing he's diagnosed your ailment."
"Relax Al, you don't have a criminal mind, but you do need to relax. Go visit your friends at the pub but don't punch anyone tonight," she says with her lopsided smile. "I know Martin and Louisa won't be upset with your knowledge of the happenings in London."
"Then I'll be seein' you later. Good night, Joan, Ruth."
"Good night," the sisters reply.
Joan finished her cup of tea, looking up at Ruth to ask, "You want more tea or something stronger?"
"Let's go with something stronger and get down to work."
Joan stood up to pull the scotch down along with a couple of glasses, while Ruth put their tea things in the sink. On her way back she stopped at the cabinet to grab a pad of paper and pencils.
Once both sisters resettled at the table with glasses filled two fingers high, they started going through the possible names of women. After a couple of hours and another two fingers high of scotch, they had more names crossed off than they added and were back to the beginning with just two names.
"Louisa is the only woman that has paid any attention to Marty since the day he arrived in this village."
"Louisa mentioned a Mrs. Wilson, but we crossed her off some time ago. And you can't think of any recent newcomers around his age?"
"If there is anyone the whole village would know, and everyone knows Marty is in love with Louisa, so he wouldn't look at another woman. Unless Martin can remember a patient saying she was in love with him, we just have another dead end."
"What happen to his medical school sweetheart again?"
"Edith had a medical-induced breakdown a little over a year ago. From what Marty discovered she was self-medicating with illegal drugs since medical school. When they broke up, she went to America or Canada, then someplace in Asia. She came back to the UK and London sent her to Truro. They ran into each other when one of Marty's patients was seen by her and she wanted to do surgery. I understand there was a huge disagreement at the hospital when Marty proved the woman didn't need surgery. That was about the time Louisa returned from London pregnant with Phillip. The three were in Marty's kitchen talking and suddenly he decided he wanted to talk to Louisa alone and sent Edith home. The woman was not happy and a couple of months later broke into the surgery and threaten Louisa. Marty talked Edith out of hurting Louisa and PC Penhale tried to arrest her but Marty had her sent to Truro and I think she was sent to Cygnet Hospital in Tauton. The illegal drugs caused her mind a few problems."
Joan stops long enough to take a sip of her scotch.
"Everyone in the village knows what she looks like, can't miss the fiery red spikey hair. We would know if she is back."
"Hair can be dyed and grown longer. We can't just dismiss her that quickly. She is an educated woman and likely knows a bit of Shakespeare."
"We will ask Marty if has been released from the medical facility."
"That leaves us with Salley Tishell and Melanie Gibson."
ME/LE
Sunday morning dawns bright and much too early for Ruth, at the farm. Joan was up at her usual time but Ruth, nursing too many glasses of scotch, wasn't used to the country wake-up call and was none too happy with Joan's chickens but especially her very loud rooster.
Over coffee and toast, Ruth read the morning paper while Joan and Al discussed farm business.
"We should start sowing the second crop of spinach and depending on the weather we might get a third crop in late August or early September."
"I was thinking the area I just finished we could try the kohl rabi. More restaurants are using it in recipes."
"I don't want an overabundance of it. Let's see how well it sells this fall. The chard, spring cabbage, and pak choi are going in that section too."
"I'll see what beans are left and start clearing the section next to them for another crop of radishes, beetroot, and spring onions."
Ruth was pulled from her paper as she listened to them organize a different section of the ground for the next set of crops.
"Joan, how did you do it all before Al came along?"
"I cut back on different crops, the ones I knew would sell. I sold off some livestock too. There are more fields of grass for the animals, I do have and don't have to buy as much feed. With Al's help, I want to increase the vegetable crops and sell them to more restaurants besides my usual deliveries to Portwenn. Al has some good ideas and a strong back."
They spent the rest of the morning walking around the different areas Joan and Al planned to sow. Joan would point out an area here and there, all recently tilled by Al, waiting in the warm sun for the farmer to use.
"That's the section that is arable for the winter root vegetables that Al wants to try."
"This farm is more than land and crops. It's our family's past and present," Ruth says as she looks around the farm. "I think your future with Al will be fruitful."
After a supper of Shepard's pie, Ruth and Joan discuss Margaret over cups of tea and, eventually, Joan pulled out some biscuits to go with the tea. Margaret has not called the farm number again and Louisa said she hadn't contacted Martin either.
Until Margaret makes contact again, the sisters have no idea where to look.
The only progress they made was on the woman stalker. Al invited them to join Morweena and himself for a quiz night at the pub. He talked Tom into an additional question that would reference Shakespeare. Maybe the quiz could provide the possibility of a woman they hadn't thought of or point them directly to one they had on their list. Al also mentioned that Melanie and Salley played on competing teams and most of the single women in the village were usually there.
ME/LE
Monday morning Louisa and Melanie take their usual morning walk with a detour to the school for the paperwork that Louisa forgot.
"Doctor Ellingham spoke to a specialist while we were at my appointment last week. As promised here is the name of the doctor; call and make an appointment as soon as possible."
"Thank you, Louisa. I do appreciate your help."
Clasping the young woman's hand, she says, "Let's go get those papers so I can finish the schedules for next term."
"May I ask you a question?"
"What do you want to know," Louisa asked.
"How are you going to be headmistress and deal with the twin's births?"
"I am taking the fall and part of the winter terms off. Mrs. Woodley will be the acting head. That's why I need those papers; I want everything done for the start of term before the twins finally show up."
"We talked earlier this summer about you going back to school, have you signed up for any classes?"
"Yes, I am all set."
"Are you taking any literature classes? I always loved reading the old English writers. I spend many evenings in the tub reading plays by Shakespeare, Marlowe, Marston, and Fletcher."**
"No, I couldn't fit anything extra into my schedule, maybe next term. Besides, the old English is boring and hard to understand. I went to a play once in London during school and couldn't make heads or tails what they were talking about. My girlfriends and I just enjoyed the view of the men crossing the stage in tights," she says with a giggle.
ME/LE
The following days leading up to quiz night at the pub found both Ellingham households busy. The aunts came to dinner at Martin and Louisa's home, before their pub appearance, to compare notes. Over a dinner of salmon, grilled to perfection, quinoa with roasted sweet potatoes covered in a lemon yoghurt sauce, and a side of spinach the conversation around the table flowed easily until Joan made a humorless question that went over as well as 'cricket requires one to assume such indecent postures'.**
"Marty are you sure we are looking for a female? Have you considered it might be a man?"
"That is an interesting thought, Joan," smirks Ruth. "That police officer that is always saying you two are the dynamic duo and then he hugs you is a good prospect."
"That's ridiculous Ruth," I snarl trying to hide my embarrassment. "Isn't it time for you two to visit the smarter villagers at the pub where they will pickle their brain cells into oblivion by the end of the night?"
Joan and Ruth walk into a very crowded pub, searching for Al or Morweena. Joan introduced her sister to different individuals as they walked deeper into the room.
Ruth greets many as her eyes scan the room of villagers, categorizing the women by age as she sees and meets them.
Joan elbows her as she spots the two people they are looking for.
"There's Morweena and Al, let's join them and get good seats."
They walk to the far side of the room where Al is pulling out extra chairs for them to sit. After drink orders are filled and they are introduced to their teammates for the game, the room begins to quiet down a bit.
Joan points out a few women at different tables that fit the category, with Ruth nodding and making a mental note to watch them through the evening. She notices Salley Tishell and leans over to ask Joan who the older man next to her was. Joan informed her that is Clive, her husband; her surprised face was just the beginning.
"Why is she even on our list?"
"Clive works on the rigs in the north sea. He comes home for a week's leave every three months. They have been married for almost eighteen years and she flirts with Martin all the time. Always wants private meetings to discuss 'medical journals', and bakes cakes for him. Luckily Marty has never accepted the cakes cause that would be a whole different story."
The questions started easy, at least to Ruth. I guess the harder questions will have interesting answers as the night of alcohol continues. Al was very smart in his placement of the aunts; their backs to the wall and all of the room available for them to watch and listen.
So as the night went on, Ruth slowly received her answer about Salley. Through Morweena more information about some of the younger women came to light, but as Ruth listen to different answers to questions she decided to cross off many that she had written down.
As the evening progressed the questions grew harder, including geography, higher math, and spelling – words from easy to immediate so far. Her interest peaked when an elderly man spelled 'children' in Cornish instead of English. The room burst into laughter.
The elderly man at the table mumbles just loud enough for some in the room to hear, "I spell meself, but me mum never taught. Se' says me not need to spell on a"… he stops for a moment to think and smiles again… "Me on a skath."
Ruth leans over as the room starts laughing again and taps Al on the arm. His expression knew exactly what she wanted to ask and he gave her the answer before she asked.
"He does it every week and everyone is waiting for a Cornish lesson. The team will receive extra credit if another team member can spell it in English. It doesn't always happen as most of the team is elderly and mostly only speaks Cornish or broken English. But I see they brought Kyell along tonight. Kiel is the head of the family and has been on a boat since he was younger than Kyell. And skath means boat in Cornish."
"Which one is Kyell," Ruth asks.
"The boy on the man's lap is Kyell, his great-grandson. He attends Louisa's school and is the spelling champion of the third year," Morweena says.
Finally, near the end of the evening, the quiz host asks a literature question. There are many boos and loud whistles from different areas of the room, Ruth is unsure if some are happy about the subject, but the room is loud with voices. As it turns out not many like the subject of the next question, so there is some time before the quiz host yells out for everyone to shut it so the game can continue.
"The question is; who wrote the following quote and for which play is the quote from? *
'Hear my soul speak:
the very instant that I saw you did
my heart fly at your service, there resides
to make me slave to it, and for your sake
Am I this patient log-man.'
The room grew very quiet; Joan and Ruth watched the women in the room for a sign of them recognizing the quote.
Then a loud voice announced to the whole room, "Salley, you know who that is. You know all those Old English Literature writers."
Before Salley could provide an answer for her team, a woman's voice in a booth on the other side of the room shouted out the answer.
A look of dismay crosses the aunt's face; another name to add to their very short list. The woman was sitting at the same table as Melanie. The woman looked to be about Louisa's age and to find out she is from Delabole. Morweena fills in Ruth by mumbling the woman normally plays at The Bettle & Chisel but they weren't having a game this week and she is a friend to one of Melanie's friends that were sitting at the table.
"Well that didn't go as planned," Ruth complained.
"Not so sure; you heard Clive boast about Salley knowing of the old plays."
The night ended with that question and each totaled up their score and drinks were filled again for many of the losers.
"I think if you and I were paying attention to the questions instead of all the women we could have easily won tonight," Joan said.
Ruth only smiles her lopsided grin in agreement.
ME/LE
The next morning at the farm, the aunts are sitting at the kitchen table looking over their discoveries from the night before while they enjoyed their coffee and oatmeal.
They left later that morning to talk with Louisa.
There was no phone call from Margaret.
Their wanton women list had grown to three.
The women sat around the lounge with their tea, a map, and Louisa writing down the information. Coming to the same conclusion, then Ruth remembers the tale Louisa told about Melanie and her teachers.
"Louisa, you mentioned Melanie and her strong defense of Martin to your teachers, tell me more of what she said."
"Oh, okay… let's see where to begin. I had just returned after my injury and I needed to inform the teachers of my limitations, including my work hours. Some of the women chose to say that Martin was forcing me to stop working, or asking if he was driving me crazy yet. You see Martin was by my side every day – driving me to school, to the pool, to my yoga classes and they thought I would be upset not allowed to do what I wanted to do. Melanie got very upset and yelled at them for not understanding Martin's true feelings for me. She was employed for about two weeks and noticed everything Martin did when he was home. She said how I could complain when a man is willing to cook and clean without being asked and does it all without complaining. She looked at each woman and continued… If more men were like the Doc maybe you wouldn't be complaining so much. She left the room after that little outburst and when she returned someone asked what she meant. So she told them… I'm… let me get it right… she said, they didn't understand the love that could obviously be seen between me and Martin. Everyone knew the Doc as a rude, boring person, but she said the Doc doesn't mean to be rude. People just didn't listen to him and he would get upset and they took it as rudeness. She went on about how she noticed that he made special meals for me so I was following my OB's orders. He made sure I followed Doctor Gee's orders and that is where she helps the most. Martin took her aside and explained what I could do and not do; told her to watch me because as I felt less pain I would forget and do something stupid. Is that enough background Ruth?"
"Yes, and we can take her off the list."
Meanwhile, the village went about their usual day; fishing boats went out and some returned by lunchtime.
For me, it was odd to stay at the surgery all day and not return home to cook Louisa, her lunch. Poppy brought Phillip by for a father and son luncheon engagement. My day improved at seeing and reading with my son.
An afternoon appointment was interrupted when a fisherman collapsed on his boat. When the call came through I was busy with a screaming baby not happy with her vaccine but I am a father now and easily took her in my arms and soothed her to a quiet whimpering. The shocked expression of the mother was a sure sign the whole village would soon discover my weakness, I thought as I ran down to the Platt.
Later as I finished my patient notes on Paul Hale, the fisherman, through a careful examination and questioning, he was diagnosed with Addison's disease but he needed a CT and MRI scans to confirm. When I finish his notes, I lean back and rub my hand over my face, I glance at the clock, just an hour till I can go home to my family.
The rest of the week was just as exciting; tourist accidents seem to be on the rise this week.
I returned from lunch on Friday afternoon to find another fisherman, this time bleeding in my reception room. He had a terrible encounter with bycatch in his lobster trap. The fisherman, Mr. Maudsley**** required suturing and a course of antibiotics. He finally left after several minutes arguing his need to be on his boat which I refused over his blustering with a rebuke.
"How do you plan to haul your traps in with only one arm? Once the local anesthetic wears off you won't want anything touching that wound. The eel bit deep through superficial layers of skin, into the dermis, and subcutaneous tissue. Normally a GP would clean the wound, and wrap a bandage around it, then send you off to the AP in Truro, but as I was a surgeon I was able to suture you together, with minimal scarring once it heals, here in the village."
I suddenly realize by his blank staring eyes that he has no idea what I said. I became my usual old self and yelled,
"No, unless you want to bleed to death from your stupidity on your way back to shore."
With that said, I turn back to my consulting room to finish my notes.
A few minutes later Morweena knocks on my door; with a curt Yes, she opens the door and says she is making tea and wanted to know if I would like a cup.
"Yes… Please… and Morweena… Thank you."
She left my office door open to facilitate her return with two mugs of hot beverage.
With an empty reception room, and no more afternoon patients scheduled, the last thing I expected or wanted to hear was the front door of the surgery open and close. I glanced over when I saw movement, a person walking from the reception room straight to my consulting room, and the sight made my heart stop.
End of Chapter
I know I left you hanging but I haven't been able to get my thoughts together on what happens next. It seems it never sounds quite right, so the next chapter will start with the last scene.
*The quote is from "The Tempest" by William Shakespeare. A list of names from Louisa's conversation with Melanie: There were heaps but four were Christopher Marlowe, John Marston, Beaumont and Fletcher. Fletcher collaborated with Shakespeare on a number of plays and was his replacement when he retired. Marlowe went to University unlike Shakespeare and was killed in a tavern brawl. Some of the others were Ben Johnson, a somewhat self-aggrandizing and contentious man who wrote a number of satirical plays and also many complimentary things about Shakespeare, and Thomas Kyd, who wrote the famous play The Spanish Tragedy. John Webster was one of the generation of playwrights who followed Shakespeare-his plays The Duchess of Malfi and White Devil are still well known and often performed. Middleton, Dekker and Massinger were other playwrights of the time.
**"It cricket requires one to assume such indecent postures." - Oscar Wilde - cricket-quotes/?sm=83516#83516
***Fleghes is Cornish for children. I am in no way making fun of anyone in the pub.
****Tony Maudsley plays Dave the letter carrier in Series 3. Tony was in the two movies before the Doc Martin series started along with Tristan Sturrock as lobster fishermen.