Chapter 27: Getting Smacked Around
*****Three Days Later*****
They were all meeting at the Slayers Headquarters as Buffy was being released. Luckily, Giles had concluded for Buffy that it was Angel, not Angelus in the Hulk room. However, Giles was not ready to release him from the room, choosing to let Buffy make that decision.
When Buffy and her mother arrived at SQ, her friends, both watchers, and Natalie were there. Tony was on the television monitor with Bruce, joining them through video. He had too many meetings lined up to join them in Sunnydale.
Buffy smiled at the Welcome Home, Buffy banner hung in the room.
"You bought me a cake?" she asked, looking at the very large cake on the snack table.
"Giles thought you'd enjoy it," Willow said. "I made it half chocolate and half white since no one could agree on anything."
"I suggested strawberry," Xander said, grinning.
"Of course, you did," Buffy replied, laughing.
"Red velvet cake is the best," Cordelia added.
The doorbell rang, interrupting the cake debate. Since Natalie had arrived with Willow, Faith wasn't sure who it could be, but she opened the door. When she saw it was Mr. Coulson and a guy she didn't know, she glared at him.
"What the fuck do you want?" Faith asked.
"Faith!" Wesley admonished. "That is no way to answer the door!" He came behind her and pulled the door open the rest of the way.
"This is the lying tool that used me to get introduced to the group," Faith said, pointing at Coulson. "Then he used Buffy's mom to get in with her. I think we should take turns kicking his ass. Let SHIELD know that's not going to work with us."
Buffy couldn't help but laugh at Faith's choice of words while Willow looked a bit outraged at the disrespect, but she knew Faith had a point. Not knowing what to do, she looked helplessly at Oz, who reached over and took her hand.
Tony, from the large TV screen monitor mounted on the wall, said, "I invited both men. They have information about the new Big Bad as the kids say, and we need it. It's as simple as that."
Wesley held out his hand, introducing himself to both men, who did the same. Giles stepped forward. "Welcome," he said. "I'm Rupert Giles, Buffy's Watcher."
"Clint," Clint replied. "Nice to meet you. We appreciate letting us join your group."
"Just a second," Buffy said. She walked up to Coulson and hit him with an open palm in the face, but it was enough to make his head swing back. "No one hurts my mother. Do it again, and I'll break some bones. Do I make myself clear?"
"That is not necessary, Buffy," Joyce said, giving her a disapproving look.
Phil appreciated her restraint as his ears were ringing at the hit even though it was not a punch. "I do. I apologized to her, and I hope she forgives me," he said. He looked beseechingly at Joyce, who refused to meet his eyes. Instead, she busied herself cutting the cake and placing pieces on plates with forks.
"She told me," Buffy said.
"I'd have kicked you in the balls," Cordelia added with a haughty sniff.
"Babe," Xander said, wincing.
"You ever cheat on me, and you will walk funny for a week," she vowed.
"Who said anything about cheating? Mr. Coulson didn't cheat! No one's cheating!" Xander exclaimed. He gave Tony an imploring look. "How about we get started with this important meeting?"
"Yes, let's," Giles said, glancing at Tony, who was naturally grinning at the show. Joyce passed around the cake, and they all took bites.
"It's yummy, guys. Thanks," Buffy said.
"It was very sweet of you," Joyce said, smiling at the group.
"I want cake," Tony said, feeling left out.
"Too bad," Buffy said, flashing him a grin as she ate a big piece.
Everyone snacked while Clint repeated what he had already said once to Buffy. Then he said, "I found this alter in his office." He showed the pictures from his phone that he had printed up.
"This is creepy," Faith remarked.
"Seriously," Buffy agreed.
"Our mayor is definitely evil. It explains a lot," Xander said.
"Oh, dear," Joyce said, glancing over Buffy's shoulders at the pictures.
"So what's the plan?" Cordelia said.
"Clearly, we have to expose the mayor," Tony told them.
"I was thinking that I would just take him out," Clint said with a shrug. "It is the easiest option."
"You want to assassinate the mayor?" Wesley asked.
"Cool!" Faith exclaimed, grinning.
"Isn't that, like, bad?" Willow asked, looking scared.
"Not if the government sanctions it," Coulson explained.
"If it's decided that he poses an imminent threat to the public, it can be authorized," Clint added.
"I do not believe we have enough information to conclude that," Giles said.
"All right then, let's do more research on him before we decide on a plan of action," Coulson suggested.
"I agree," Wesley said.
"Works for me," Buffy agreed.
"Whatever," Faith said, shrugging.
"I will send you a bug," Tony said. "If Clint can put it near any hard drive, it will hack the camera systems and turn all computers and phones into microphones. We can listen to the mayor's every move."
"That's cool!" Willow said.
"Totally invasive," Cordelia added. "I approve."
"You better not be doing that to our phones," Xander said, glaring up at Tony.
"Only when I am in town," Tony said. "JARVIS monitors things to see if you need anything. He doesn't tell me everything you do."
"Of course not," JARVIS added in an offended tone.
Both Coulson and Clint looked around for the Jarvis guy Tony referred to.
"That's Tony's imaginary friend," Buffy said, grinning.
"Don't listen to that child," Tony said, glaring playfully at her. "JARVIS is my A.I."
"He sounded very real," Coulson said in bemusement.
"I believe Tony has transferred a piece of his soul to JARVIS," Willow said excitedly. "He is real. If we give him a body, he would be, like, a real person!"
"Okay, let's not get carried away," Tony said.
"Now is not the time for that discussion," Giles warned.
"I totally agree," Tony said.
"I concur," Wesley added.
"We should talk about the toast vampire," Buffy said.
"Toast?" Wesley asked, confused.
"She means Kakistos," Giles said.
"In Greek, the name means the worst," Wesley shared.
"That doesn't bode well," Willow said, frowning.
"No," Oz said, finally speaking and squeezing her hand.
"Well, the Trick guy was his henchman, and he's totally dead," Buffy said.
"He's toast," Faith said, snickering.
Buffy laughed, hi-fying her. "Good one!"
"Lame," Cordelia said.
"Totally," Tony agreed.
"Stay on point," Giles said with a weary sigh. The group was too big and nearly unmanageable. Tony's attention span was not much better than the children's.
"We should do some research on Kakistos," Wesley said.
"I already have," Giles said. "He is nearly as old as The Master with cloven hands and feet. He is a traditionalist, who revels in bloodshed. However, he rejects modern comforts, so we won't find him in a house with electricity as he tends to use candles and the old fashion tools rather than modern comforts such we enjoy."
"Looks like Rupert is top teach today," Tony observed, grinning.
Wesley looked a bit embarrassed but rallied. "Very good. Have you theorized where he might be?"
"Probably one of the abandoned warehouses," Buffy said.
"Yes," Giles agreed.
"Okay, so we'll watch the mayor but focus on Kakistos as the immediate threat," Xander recapped.
"Yes," Giles said. "We should begin searching for him before he can establish more of a power base."
"Sounds good," Tony agreed. "I'll send the bug today, so look for it tomorrow."
"Here?" Clint asked.
Tony nodded. "Yes. Faith will make sure you get it," Tony said, glancing at her.
"Definitely," Faith said, nodding.
"I gotta go. Will speak to you all later," Tony said. Then his screen went blank.
"Even when here through a video, his presence is strong," Wesley observed.
"The Tony-effect is very powerful," Willow said, grinning.
"Mom, I want to go check on Angel," Buffy told her. She glanced at Mr. Coulson. "Will you be okay?"
"I'm fine, Buffy," she said.
"So should we go patrol and look for him tonight?" Faith asked.
"It's going to be dark soon," Giles said. "Faith, you should take the Deputy Commissioner and Mr. Coulson and split the abandoned warehouses with Willow, Oz, Natalie, Cordelia, and Xander."
"Why am I still always listed last?" Xander complained as they went to the weapons room.
Clint was more than impressed when he saw the display of ancient weaponry mixed with some high-tech gadgets that he didn't recognize. "What are they?" he asked.
"Oh, Tony has given us a few fun things," Cordelia said. She started explaining the various weapons to Clinton and Mr. Coulson.
Willow and Cordelia put the chain mail on over their shirt and then grabbed another t-shirt. "It's not very comfortable, so we have these shirts that are larger sizes that we wear over them," Cordelia explained.
"Oz and I just wear the neck guards," Xander said, handing both men one. "If a vampire grabs you, they always go for your neck."
Clint looked at the large, spiked leather collars and glanced at Natasha, who was grabbing a chain shirt, ignoring the collar. "I don't plan on letting one get that close to me," she said.
"No one ever does," Xander said.
Clint grabbed a collar and a chain mail because he promised his wife that he would be careful.
"Smart man," Faith said in approval.
Back in the Hulk room, Buffy was hugging Angel, who was himself.
"I can't believe it's you. You're back and in your right mind," she observed.
"I am," he said. "I am so sorry, Buffy. For everything."
"What do you remember?" she wondered.
"Not much, but I know I attacked you when you led me in here," he admitted.
"It's okay, Angel. You weren't yourself," she said. "Are you ready to be out?"
Angel was silent. "Give me another day or so," he said. "Let's make sure. What have I missed?"
"Are you sure you want to know?" she asked.
"That much?"
Buffy nodded. "My mom is here, so how about I come by tomorrow?" she suggested. "I will tell Faith you're good, and she can come introduce yourself. She's the new slayer. Drusilla killed Kendra."
"Oh, I am sorry to hear that," Angel said, giving her a look of compassion.
Buffy hugged him again, glad to see him. However, she realized that he didn't make her feel the way he once did. The knowledge was liberating.
When she made it back to her friends, they were ready to depart. The new adults were armed.
"Are you letting them slay?" she asked Giles in surprise.
"They are going with Faith," he said. "They want to know what's really out there. It's the best way."
"You really should wait until I can go with them, too," Buffy said. "They're civilians."
"We are trained soldiers," Clint said, a bit offended.
Buffy snorted and waved her hand dismissively. "That means nothing on a hellmouth. You are completely unprepared to fight what is out there," she told them.
"It's fine, B. I won't let them get hurt," Faith said. Then she winked and added. "Much."
"Let's go," Cordelia said.
Buffy watched them leave, not missing the look that Phil gave her mother. "Goodbye, Joyce," he said.
"Be careful," Joyce said.
"I will," he told her.
"Buffy, do you really think that he shouldn't go?" Joyce asked, anxious.
Buffy waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine," she said. "Let's take a piece of cake home."
"Did you speak to Angel?" Giles asked.
"I did. He is himself," Buffy said. "He said that he wants a few more days in there just to be safe."
"Then he really is himself," Giles said, nodding.
"What does that mean?" Wesley asked.
"Angelus would never care about the safety of others," Giles pointed out.
"Isn't there some type of spell you can do to detect a soul?" Joyce asked. "I would feel better about it."
"I am sure there is," Giles said.
"I do not see why we are keeping him alive. He is a vampire. You are a slayer. Your job is clear," Wesley told her.
"You harm him, I will make sure you regret it," Buffy said, glaring at him.
"Angel has only ever helped us keep the hellmouth closed," Giles said. "As Angelus killed the woman I loved and tortured me, I think I would have a reason to kill him more than you."
Wesley nodded. "You are right. I will concede to your judgement on the matter," he agreed.
"I haven't told him everything that has happened since he has been gone," Buffy said.
"Okay," Giles said.
She just hoped that they would find a way to fit into each other's lives still as he still meant a lot to her and always would.
*****An Hour Later*****
Clint was used to amazing women because he had worked alongside Natasha for a number of years, and he was married to an equally amazing woman. Both had their own gifts; both were fearless. Both were fighters. However, watching a sixteen-year-old face down a seven-foot monster with a smile on her face and not an ounce of fear showed him what he had long suspected: women were the superior gender.
First, Buffy, barely recovered from spine surgery, fought a vampire and won, and now he was watching Faith pummel a real demon as if it was the highlight of her night. Of course, he knew that for her, it was.
"Should we help?" Clint asked Coulson.
"In what way?" Phil replied.
"Faith, do you need a hand?" Clint asked her.
"Nah. I got this," she said. Then she pulled out her long dagger and stabbed it. "Watch out for its mate."
No sooner had she said that than Clint was knocked down by a hard blow.
"Shit!" Faith exclaimed. Phil jumped back and tried to pull Clint away from the demon, but then something wet hit his arm.
"What the hell?" he asked as his right arm went numb.
"Oh, yeah, fyarl demons have paralyzing snot," Faith said.
"Thanks for the warning," Phil said as he tried to wipe it off with his shirt.
Clint jumped up and used the ax he had to chop off an arm while Faith hit it in the face.
"Stop playing with it," Phil said. "Kill it already."
"Hey, this is how I get my exercise since B is still in recovery," Faith said as she hit it again. Clint, though, took his ax to its neck, and demon blood squirted all over him. It was stuck in the thing's neck.
"I might actually be sick," he said. "Don't tell Nat."
Phil snickered.
"Do you have a crush already on Will's bodyguard?" Faith asked as she pulled out Clint's ax that was still in the demon's neck. With one swift swing, she beheaded it.
"So what do we do with the bodies?" Phil asked.
"I'll call sanitation to come clean it up," Clint said.
"Now that's a perk having a connection to the mayor on our team!" Faith said, grinning. "You okay, Mr. C?"
"I can't move or feel my arm," he said.
"It'll wear off," she said.
Faith's cell phone vibrated, and she checked it. "Cordy says that she thinks they've located the vamp we're looking for," Faith said.
"They should wait for you to get there if he's as old as you think," Phil said.
"You are probably right," Faith agreed, texting that to Cordelia.
"They're not far," Faith said.
Clint pulled out his own phone and sent instructions to dispose of the two demon corpses.
The warehouse that Cordelia, Xander, Willow, and Oz were at was lit up with some candles.
"Candles? Seriously? Don't they know they could catch themselves on fire?" Cordelia asked with a snort after she sent Faith the text. She had her phone on silent, though, and never noticed Faith's reply as she put it in her back pocket.
"You'd think they'd spring for a nice oil lamp or two," Xander said, grinning.
"How many vampires do you see?" Willow asked.
"I see five," Xander said.
"Six if you count the big ugly one who is probably the old toast vamp we're looking for," Cordy said.
"We should try Tony's ultra-violet ray bomb," Xander suggested, his eyes lighting up. He reached inside the bag Willow was carrying.
"Shouldn't we wait for Faith?" Willow asked.
"Yes, we definitely should wait," Natalie said.
"Get out your cell phone and record the show. You know Tony will want to know how effective his toys are," Xander said.
Willow and Oz both grabbed their phones as Tony had taught them to always have a backup recording in case one of them gets distracted.
Xander tossed in the vamp bomb as he liked to call it. "There it goes!" he exclaimed, watching the show.
Three vamps closest to the bomb instantly turned to dust. "It worked!" Willow said excitedly.
Xander opened the door. "Do we want to take the other three?" he asked, looking in.
"We should we wait," Oz advised.
Naturally, they didn't listen to him. Sighing, he went in after them. However, he did stop and called Faith.
"How far away are you?" he asked.
"Not far," she said.
"They aren't waiting for you. They went in," he said. "Tony's bomb killed three, so there's three yet, one is the big guy we're looking for."
"Shit!" Faith exclaimed. "Be there soon."
Natalie growled as she followed her more brave than intelligent teenage charges.
When Faith got there, the bodyguard was exchanging blows with a very big and ugly vampire. "That must be the toast vamp!" she said, pointing. "You two help the kids."
Xander was unconscious on the ground having managed to kill one vampire but was knocked out by the second. Willow, Cordelia, and Oz kept getting knocked down every time they got too close to their vampire. Oz picked up the crossbow that one of them dropped and finally got a chance to aim it, but now the vampire had Cordelia in its grip. He couldn't shoot the crossbow without hitting Cordelia.
Clint and Phil came in just in time to see his predicament and quickly went on the attack. Clint threw a knife, embedding it in the vampire's eye.
"Aaww!" it screamed as Cordelia yelled, "That's so gross! I got vamp blood on me!"
However, the vampire did release her, and Phil pulled her away.
Clint was both intrigued and a bit rattled when the monster pulled out the knife and glared at him.
He exchanged a few hits, but then the vampire kicked Phil hard in the stomach, so he went flying. Then Clint bravely attacked, and the vampire hit him hard in the face, causing him to step back several feet by the force of the hit. However, the vampire was clear enough for Oz to finally release his arrow. Relieved, the group watched it turn to dust.
"Finally," Cordelia muttered as she moved to check out Xander.
Nearby, Faith was having a bit of trouble herself. Kakistos was stronger and tougher than any vampire that she faced before. He had already hurt Natalie pretty badly. The bodyguard was quick but not able to handle several hits from the extremely hard-hitting vampire. Then Faith began exchanging blows as Natalie picked herself up, debating where to help.
She glanced at the teenagers. Willow was safe for the moment, but Coulson was hit hard. Could Faith defeat this vampire alone? When Faith was hit hard enough to hit the ground, Natalie moved in and attacked once again. The vampire grabbed her arm, snapping it as easily as a twig, causing her to scream.
"You girls are almost cute. A slayer and a bunch of children think they can defeat Kakistos? I think not," he said as his teeth sink into Natalie's neck.
The agony was short lived, however, because he stopped feeding, spitting out her blood. "What? Your blood taste wrong!" he exclaimed.
Faith debated on the wisdom of continuing the fight when her head was ringing from the giant's last blow. However, he had Natalie in his grip and began to feed on her. Horrified, Faith grabbed her blade. When he quickly released her, throwing her away, Faith didn't hesitate and jumped high, aiming for his neck.
Somehow, however, the vampire grabbed the blade, stopping it before it could connect with his neck.
Natalie cradled her broken arm and held her other hand up to her bleeding neck. God, she hurt everywhere. It was time to leave, so she turned to the teens. "We need to retreat," she told them.
Phil was holding his ribs—one was definitely broken.
Xander was finally opening his eyes. "Did we get them?" he asked.
"You got knocked out," Cordelia said. "We need to get your head examined."
"Just like you've always wanted," he remarked as he rose up, throbbing pain causing him to groan.
Oz, though, was reloading his crossbow and aiming it at Kakistos. However, the arrow didn't seem to do much damage when it hit him.
"Did you miss the heart?" Willow wondered.
Kakistos laughed as he pulled it out. "I'm no youngling. My hide is not so easy to penetrate with these flimsy arrows," he said as he crushed it easily in his hand.
"Noted," Oz said. He grabbed Willow's hand and tugged her toward the door. "We are leaving."
Willow didn't argue. The teens backed out of the room. Phil and Clint covering them as Natalie urged Faith to leave.
"He's still alive," Faith pointed out.
"Come, slayer. I will be happy to drain you dry. Maybe your blood will not taste polluted like your friend's," Kakistos said with a smirk, gesturing her forward.
"Another day," Natalie said.
Faith didn't like backing down from a vampire, no matter how big and ugly he was. However, Natalie had been bitten, her arm clearly broken, and the others had looked hurt. "Another day," she said to the vampire. His laughter rang in her ears as the left.
"You made the right decision," Natalie said.
"I really don't like getting smacked around by anyone, especially not a vampire that ugly," Faith complained.
Neither did Natasha. She just hoped Tony never heard what the vampire said after biting her. The man hated mysteries and loved to solve puzzles. The last thing she needed was him focusing his vast mental powers on why her blood tasted differently to a vampire.
SHIELD needed to keep at least one agent undercover in this city. No one liked dealing with a pissed off Fury.
*****Chapter End*****