Disclaimers: I do not own Invader Zim

Author's Notes:

Shout Outs!: this goes out to MockingVenus, yes I know I'm a tease and I always will be, but we will get to the juicy parts in fact we're one chapter away from it. HA! How's that for a tease!

Anyway, I'd like to thank you for reading and ask that you please review.

(Back with Zim…)

It was official…

Zim absolutely hated this planet. The invader shivered in obvious discomfort as he did his best to ignore his friend/enemy's efforts to keep in his chuckles of obvious glee. "Stop laughing." He demanded. "It's your big head that's stealing all the warm air!"

Dib gave him his famous over the glasses look. "Okay for starters my head is not big, and even if it is…which it's not. It wouldn't be absorbing all the heat, that's not how heads work." He went on rambling as he usually did. "And secondly, it's like 67 degrees out here, seriously Miz it's not that cold." Dib insisted as they continued on their walk home. After their talk with Dark Booty and the rest of their superiors the four friends had decided to walk home. Well actually the girls had walked home together, leaving Dib and Miz to each other which was fine with Dib, but Miz seemed to be well…

He wasn't exactly sure where his best friend's mind was at, but it was obviously elsewhere.

And indeed, it was, Zim was currently pondering over how he was going to handle the boy beside him. If he didn't think of something quick then sooner or later Dib would catch on to this charade. What he needed was a distraction, a way to keep the boy at his side, and yet totally oblivious to what was really going on around him.

"Something the matter Miz?" Dib asked looking slightly concerned.

"What?" Miz asked, then shook his head knowingly. "It's nothing really just thinking about something."

"Like what?" Dib asked, pressing for answers. He was determined to sick to his promise of figuring this guy out. Honestly how a guy could be so mysterious, and yet so obvious at the same time was an enigma.

Miz shook his head. "It's nothing, just wondering about…stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Dib asked.

Miz sighed. "Dib we're friends right?" he asked.

Dib gave him a weird look, what kind of question was that? "Of course, we're friends!' He exclaimed. "Why would we not be?"

Zim bit his lip, he really needed to get himself out of this funk, and back into his usual groove of operations. If only he could just make his spooch understand that Dib liked Miz and not him, then maybe he could put all this nonsense behind him. But obviously he would need Dib's help with that, but how to get him to help without tipping him off. "Dib, you like me right?" He asked rather meekly despite himself.

Dib turned red at his words. "Well yeah." He admitted.

"And you would like me no matter what?" Zim asked.

"Miz I think your recent behavior has proved that much." Dib assured him.

"Well sure it's proved that you'd like me even if I was a jerk." Zim agreed. "But what if I'm not a jerk." Zim asked.

"Then what are you?" Dib asked.

"Well okay let's just say hypothetically." Zim said. "What if I wasn't human?"

"Not human?" Dib asked.

"Yeah let's say one day you woke up and I was something else." Zim pressed.

"Like what?" Dib asked.

"Um I don't know…uh." He thought for a moment and then he had it. "What if you woke up one day and I was a moose."

"A moose?" Dib asked.

"Yes Dib a moose." Zim growled.

He couldn't help it; Dib fell over on the ground laughing. "A moose!" he chuckled. "That's the best you could come up with? Out of everything you could say. You said moose!"

"The moose is not the point!" Zim said stomping his foot with a pout. "The point is would you still like me if I was…" He paused, anger leaving him in exchange for vulnerability. "Different."

Dib stopped laughing as he realizes what's going on. He sighs. "Miz I don't care if you're different." He assured him.

"Really?" Zim asked.

"Yep." Dib assured him. "Human…or moose." He chuckled a little at the word. "Truth is you're stuck with me."

"And you're stuck with me." Zim said, less humorously, In fact he almost looked sorry for the boy, and in some ways he was. "And all the baggage that comes with it."

"You're not baggage." Dib assured him. "You're amazing."

Zim sighed, lots of people had called him that, and never once had it been true. Invader Zim was nothing, nothing but a coward, a fake, and a fraud.

Dib can read the words all over his face, he steps in front of him, placing his hands on each shoulder, and forcing their eyes to meet.

And what he says next hits Zim fast and hard.

"I mean it Miz never change who you are." Dib told him. "Cause I like you…"

Zim smiled as he felt that warm feeling in his gut again… "My mini Moose…"

And of course, that when he ruined the moment!

"I am not mini!" Zim screamed, pushing Dib to the ground.

Dib fell on his butt laughing. "But you are mini." Dib insisted forcing himself back to his feet in order to keep up with the still walking Zim. "Minnier then me that is!" He erupted into chorus of laughter as they reached Zim's house.

"You just wait Membrane." Zim vowed as he climbed his doorsteps. "Once I hit my final growth sprit it is me who will be taller than you, and then it will be you who is the mini one!"

Dib snickered; He'd never understand why Miz was so caught up on height. At the height of 6 foot Dib was the average height of any Membrane male in his bloodline. And Miz was only an inch or so shorter making him 5'9 or 5'8 at the least. Which was a hug accomplishment in this day in age, and still the guy was determined to be taller. Dib smiled as he took in that stern look of determination.

Miz had always enjoyed teasing him about his head, and now Dib understood why. Miz's reactions to being called short were priceless.

"Good night my little mini Moose." Dib snickered, trying, and failing to keep a straight face.

"I hate you." Miz growled back, but there is a playful look just peeking out of that hateful glare and Dib knows just the way to get it out.

"And I hate you more." Dib taunted.

Miz smiled that sly smile, the one he uses when he knows he can't lose. "No, you don't." He mused. "You looooove me!" He teased drawing out the word love for effect.

It works, Dib turns beat red.

"There's my Dib." Miz mused. "Now call me a mini moose again and I will scoop your eyes out!" And with that he slammed the door.

Dib shook his head laughing at the whole crazy moment. "Moose." He scoffed. "Like I'd care if you were a moose." He pulled out his phone and text: You're ridiculous, though I would be concerned for my own health if you suddenly started looking like a moose.

Moments later Miz replied.

You and me both ;)

Dib smiled and text back: See you tomorrow?

Family day. Talk to you Monday. Miz responded.

Dib frowned, of course he knew there was no family day to speak of, Miz was in one of his ruts again, and just wanted to be left alone.

Okay see you then.

He text back, deciding to give him some time to think. It was obvious that Miz was really serious about whether or not he wanted them to cross over the line of friendship and into something more. And Dib appreciated that Miz was giving it some real thought.

He also gave Dib a lot to think about too.

Miz obviously wasn't perfect, but then again who was? Still the kid obviously had a few skeletons in the closet. Could Dib live with that? Could he allow himself to overlook that and have a relationship with a guy who probably would never tell him the whole story that was Miz?

Sorry I'm such a handful. I'll do better Monday…promise

Yes, Dib decided as he headed home with a smile, he could live with that, after all if he never fully figured Miz out, then there would always be a mystery to follow.

(Back to Zim…)

Frustration,

It was a familiar feeling…

Despair,

Like an annoying parasitic doof that just wouldn't take a hint and get lost.

Zim growled in both frustration and despair as he went down the elevator and entered his lab. Oh, how he would love nothing more than to just go to bed, but he had to report in first. And thus, lied the frustration and despair. True Zim admired his friends the Tallest dearly, in fact he owed a great deal to them. Still whenever he was away too long his friends seemed less like friends and more like…

Well for the lack of a better word jerks.

"Computer call the Tallest." Zim ordered as he took off his disguise and stood before the large holo-screen within his lab.

"Calling the Tallest." The computer confirmed and moments later they appeared before him.

"Greetings my Tallest!" Zim said, giving the proper salute.

"Zim well it's about time you called." Red said in an over dramatic tone. "I swear being the only Alphas on a planet full of worthless Betas and Omegas is draining me of my good looks."

"Good looks?" Purple scoffed. "Please obviously I'm the good looking one. Tell him Zim."

Zim looked from one to the other knowingly. Why they forced him to choose like this was beyond him, but like always he handed it with ease. "What does it matter, you're both better looking than me so count your lucky stars."

"He's right you know." Purple said. "We are the lucky ones, Zim you on the other hand should really sleep more."

"Yes." Red agreed. "Before you become permanently ugly."

Yes, they definitely became bigger jerks the longer he stayed away. Or perhaps they were always jerks, and it just took some distance for Zim to realize it.

"Oh, Zim lighten up we're only teasing." Red assured him.

Zim shook his head. "It's nothing I was just hoping to get to the point of this call." He insisted as politely as possible.

"Fine yes you're report if you please." Red said.

"Man, he is grumpy." Purple said. "I thought we ordered you to get some sleep."

Zim sighed. How could he possibly explain to them how important it was to play Miz during the day, and Zim the invader at night? Especially when these two didn't even qualify for invaders at all, no they were generals, meant for the cushy life that led them to the position of Tallest. While Zim was determined to take any hard, and painful road possible.

Just as long as that road led him away from them. Yes he was safer when Irk was out of reach, distance was a defectives best friend.

"Sorry you're right I am irritable this evening, recovering resources has been slow, but we are making steady process."

"Good I am glad to hear that you have refocused your efforts for the better." Red said. "Now reward yourself with some sleep."

"Yes you're no good to us dead." Purple added.

Yes it was moments like this that Zim saw their friendship for what it really was, personal gain. Zim could still remember how it happed this way. When he was born, he was the smallest Alpha in Irken history, no, even worse, he was the smallest Irken ever! And because of this Zim was treated as an Omega for most of his childhood. Unlike other Alphas who were born with their rights, Zim started off at the bottom and in all reality he should have stayed there. But Zim's defective nature wanted more then what he had, so what did he do?

He fought to climb higher.

If he had not been labeled an Alpha at birth Zim would have been figured out years ago. However, since he was all the instructors, and computers saw him as an Alpha who simply wanted what he had a right to. However, the taller betas and omegas saw him as a threat, and often took their anger out on him in painful ways. He was their punching bag, and yet it didn't stop him from pushing forward. Zim excelled in every class, out doing both betas and omega's alike, and soon even the Alphas could not catch up.

Then one day Zim was acknowledged by Tallest Myuki herself, she was touring the halls of Zec as she sometimes did and had stepped into his class and wrote a complex equation on the board. No one could solve it, finally Zim had raised his hand to try.

It was a pretty simple equation, at least it was for him, and Zim had solved it with ease, and Tallest Myuki had praised him for it. And that's when all hell broke loose everyone, Alphas, Betas and Omegas alike hated him for out shining them. He was too small to deserve Tallest Myuki's praise. They beat him up so badly that night, he probably would have died.

If it had not been for them.

Red and Purple had pushed through the crowd and rescued him, and from that day forward his life as an omega was over. He was accepted as the Alpha he was born to be, despite his height, and soon became top of his class. Still, he wasn't deaf, and every now and then he would hear the rumors.

Rumors that said that Red and Purple only saved Zim so they could use him to get to the top. Deep down he knew it was true, deep-down Zim knew their friendship was based off of deception. And in the end those rumors had been right, Zim may have been top of his class, but he held them up higher then himself, so when it came to choosing Tallest Spork's successors the control brains chose Red and Purple, not Zim.

Still despite knowing the truth, Zim still valued their friendship, fake or not, it helped him survived. Without Red and Purple, Zim would have never made it to the Invaders Academy, without them, he would have never learned how to act like an Alpha. Without them, he would have been figured out a long time ago.

And this was why he allowed the Tallest to mooch of his glory, because without them, invader Zim would have never existed. Still every now and then he was forced to remember that their friendship was fake, and meeting Lard Nar and learning true friendship only solidified that fact. However, there were some positives about Red and Purple becoming the Tallest.

For starters Zim had grown to average Alpha height, and once that happened he left the Tallest's shadow and made a name for himself.

"I'll try to keep that in mind my Tallest." Zim said. "Thank you for your concern."

"Are you kidding?" Red asked. "You're the only guy worth having around."

"Yes the others are so boring." Purple agreed. "I ask them how they conquered their assigned planets and oh I regret it seconds later. I swear they lack imagination none of them are good story tellers like you."

"And none of them are the least bit entertaining." Red agreed.

Zim smiled. "I'm sure you'll manage without me." He said. "I'll have more to report next week."

"Very well see you soon Zim." Red said.

"And get some sleep!" Purple yelled, causing Red to roll his eyes. "Honestly, I…"

Zim smiles as Red gives him a wink before ending the call, saving him the hour-long health lesson on proper sleep, and for that he is thankful.

Zim lets out a loud yawn as he heads over to the elevator only to stop as he sees Gir watching another romance movie on his TV. Since dogs don't actually watch TV, Zim had to set Gir up a room in the lab where Gir could have some time to be himself. It allowed him to better withhold his urges to act out while he was in character. "Seriously Gir are you watching this stupid move again?"

"Hercules is not stupid master." Gir insisted.

Zim rolled his eyes as he watched some human girl fawn over the demigod know as Hercules; he believed her name was Mag or something. He shook his head. "It's highly illogical." He argued. "I mean to honestly think that a half god would fall for such a trick as an ordinary girl falling for him. When actually she's the enemy in…disguise."

He stops and wonders why he didn't see it before when it had been in front of him all along. "It's the perfect plan." Zim mused.

"What is?" Gir asked.

"Yes amuse us with your brilliant scheme." The computer challenged. "And please tell me it has something to do with getting rid of that boy!"

"What boy?" Gir asked. "Oh, wait you mean Mary." He laughed. "I like Mary."

"How can you like him?" the computer snapped. "You met him like once, and all you did was lick his face."

"It was a nice face." Gir said.

"Enough with the face." Zim hissed. "And yes the plan is about Dib."

"Awe." Gir whined.

"Finally!" The computer exclaimed. "So, what's the plan?"

Zim laughed darkly, only to gag seconds later.

"That bad?" the Computer asked. Zim nodded.

"I'm going like this plan." Gir seemed too decided.

"Which means I'm going to hate it." The computer sighed.

"No sense." Zim mused, as he broke into his famous evil laugh. "This shall be my most brilliantly stupidest plan ever…"

-To Be Continued

Chapter End Notes

Thanks for reading next chapter will be up soon. Until then this is...

Emily signing off :)