Chapter I: Welcome to the Machine

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John couldn't believe his eyes. The creature was currently inside his master bedroom, wiping her wet body with a towel. He had never been that interested in carnal lusts like some of the Supes because he's a god, after all. A god is above such petty things.

He gives, and he takes. That's all there is to it.

But even a god like him can say without a doubt that the woman in front of him is absolutely beautiful. Vought would kill to get a model that is even half as beautiful as her. But appreciating beauty is not the priority. What matters is what she is doing here.

"Ahhhh…. That's refreshing..." The pink-haired woman stated in a cutesy voice as she finished wiping her hair. The way she moves makes it look like she owns the house. That cannot do. This was his house. This place is where a god like him dwells.

"Ok, that's enough. Can you fucking explain what the fuck you were doing in my bathtub? And who the fuck are you?" John asked. His patience is seriously running low. His mood was bad.

"Me? I'm Lala," she replied with an innocent but tantalizing tone.

"…..Are you fucking kidding me? Lala?" He asked in a fed-up and sarcastic tone. Seriously, why did he not reduce this pleb to ashes?

"Yep. I came from Planet Deviluke!" She stated once more as she leaned down on John's master bed while sighing in contentment.

"…What?" John asked. He's actually confused.

"Hmm!" Lala nodded in confirmation while smiling.

"You mean to tell me…. You're an Alien?" John couldn't stop his disbelief. What kind of scam was this?

"For you Earthlings, I guess I am!" She responds to his question with a chirp. She's actually serious.

"Do you expect me to believe tha—" John didn't finish his words as he realized something.

Of course. Of course, he would not be left alone. Of course, Vought had to send someone to reign him in.

"Wow. Who wrote the script? How much did Vought pay you? Did they promise a scholarship for your family?" John asked with a cheerful yet disappointed tone. The absurdity of the situation almost made him forget how much of a cunt Stan was.

At that, Lala frowned, "Script? Vought? I do not seem to follow you.." She actually looked confused. John would have applauded if he was not so annoyed right now.

"You know your acting is actually superb. You should've gone to Beverly Hills instead of Vought's pocket. You might as well be a superstar right now. Well, you just have to suck the cocks of some old washed-up producers and directors for that to happen, but with your figure, that doesn't seem to be a problem." John was spitting vitriol and vulgarity now. He should've realized it earlier. There is no one he can actually believe to be genuine. He learned that on those white sterile walls. The walls that caged a being like him for his entire childhood.

Lala actually got red with anger, "How dare you!? You actually thought I'm a fraud? And what's with your mouth!? Don't you know basic chivalry?" Lala is a patient girl. Innocent and playful most of the time even. But his vulgarity disoriented even her.

"What? You actually thought I would believe your story? Aliens? Really?" John scoffed.

"Mou… you really do not believe me huh? Well, look at this!" Lala stated, still bubbly although a bit frustrated.

She moved her hips to face John. Her figure was as tantalizing as ever. If he were ever a lesser man, he would've pounced on her already. But he was a god, so he endured such things.

What made him bulge his eyes in surprise was her tail. Her dark purple tail with a spade at the end of it. Like that of the mythical devils of old.

"What? You believe me now, Dumdum?" She asked with a bubbly tone. Her innocent and playful smile returned.

John ignored her calling him a childish name. He regained his composure and stated with an arrogant tone, "W-Well, that's not unique! I've seen some Supes with the same apparatus. Red Anastasia had a tail too!"

"…A Supe?" Lala asked, looking confused. Her fingers beneath her chin. Her position made a tantalizing image.

'Fuck. Even when confused this woman is tempting.' John thought with rising anger. This woman is not good for him.

"Yes. Individuals with Superpowers. There are hundreds of them walking around." He answered her question.

"Huh. Looks like Earthlings made some advances in terms of biotechnology. But an analysis made by Peke stated that your technology does not reach the high tier yet…" Her tone turned serious.

"What? What do you mean high tier? And who the fuck is Peke?" John heard it although it was just a whisper. His superhearing made it possible.

"Ah! You heard that… never mind. If you do not believe me then look at this!" She stated once more in a bubbly tone before showing off the wrist of her left hand.

"What?" John asked as he looked at the metallic object—a bracelet—placed at her wrist.

"Tadah! This is Mr. Pyon Pyon! I used him to teleport from my Spaceship to your bathtub! This bracelet made it possible for any living unit to warp at a short distance!" Lala stated with both bubbly and proud tone.

John was skeptical. But his skepticism was broken when he used his X-Ray vision on the object. Why? Because the object depicted ultra-complicated parts. Inhumane mechanics and brutal engineering were inside. It was not possible on Earth. Vought's Technological Department would cry because even they would not comprehend the make-up of that bracelet. John was sure of it.

"Tch!" John scowled. For the first time in his life, he was proven wrong. And the bigger matter is, an alien actually fucking existed. That's fucking new.

"So, you're really a fucking alien." John forced himself to accept it. But he still cannot believe it. But then, he had done an X-Ray on Lala too. Her anatomy was radically different than that of a human.

"Haha! You believe me now, Dumdum?" She cheerfully asked.

"My name is John! And to answer your question, that's to be verified," John retorted with annoyance. Why is he putting up with her? Did she use some technobabble or scientific magic?

"The bigger question is, why did you warp into my bathroom of all places?" John asked the cookie question.

Then, Lala's eyes took a serious turn, "I'm being chased." She simply stated.

"Chased?" John sought to clarify her words.

"I thought I would be safe if I came to Earth, but my pursuers have followed me here. I was about to be taken away on their ship. If I hadn't used this bracelet, I probably would have been taken away…" Lala stated. Her bubbly tone almost disappeared.

"Why would they even chase you in the first place?" John asked as he took a seat. His room was big enough for more than five chairs to fit in one room.

"Well, because I'm—" She was cut off by a loud wail.

"LALA-SAMA! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!" A rather robotic and human tone echoed through his window.

John immediately looked at the source of the sound and was dumbstruck. It was a... dog, a white dog-golem hybrid with wings, is the only fitting description. Alien dog perhaps? It was too surreal. He can't describe it properly. The creature looks like straight out of Astroboy.

"Peke!" The pink-haired alien, covered in a towel, hugged the white alien dog with wings.

"Oh! I'm so happy that you escaped safely!" Lala said as she hugged the dog golem like an owner would hug his dog.

"Indeed! I was lucky the ship wasn't outside Earth's atmosphere." The dog golem spoke with cheer and relief.

"Can this day get any more absurd?" John uttered out with gritted teeth.

"Ah, Lala-sama, who's that Earthling freak sitting beside the bed?" Peke asked with a serious tone.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" John was offended. He truly was. A god like him was called a freak. That's a sin. No one calls him a freak. They kneel in front of him.

"Ah! He's Jean? Jorge? Je-jess?" Lala goes through a cycle of names but she doesn't seem to remember it.

A vein appeared on John's head, "It's John, you goddamn woman!" He can't contain it anymore. This woman seems to annoy him without end. And he's not lasering her yet. Why?

"Ah! That's right! His name is John! This, right here, is my trusty Peke!" Lala introduced her dog golem. She dared to actually ignore John's complaint.

"Yo! Nice to meet you!" The white dog-golem raised its right hand like a stuffed toy.

"Peke's an all-purpose costume robot that I personally made!"

John squinted his eyes, his annoyance still present, "Costume Robot? What do yo—Wait, WHAT THE FUCK! Why are you removing your towel, you damn woman!?" John roared once more as he looked away. He cannot take the quirks of this voluptuous pink-haired extraterrestrial.

When Lala was stark naked, her long hair covering her entire back, she stated to the robot, "You know what to do Peke."

"Leave it to me, Lala-sama!" Peke said enthusiastically before using its wings to fly in the middle of the room.

The costume robot shouted, "CHANGE! DRESSFORM!"

Peke glowed bright pink; then, it changed into some sort of fabric. It began to cover Lala's body. Her legs, arms, shoulders, neck, and finally, the hat.

"Tada!" Lala shouted as she wore her new outfit. It was a colorful dress. A mix of white, blue, and violet. Her outfit appeared to be both graceful, like it's straight out of European court, and lewd, like straight out of Vought's 18+ Heroines. It's a goddamn paradox. Meanwhile, her hat looked like the head of the costume robot, Peke, along with wings.

"It'snot too tight, is it? Lala-sama?" Peke inquired methodically.

"It's perfect! I'm glad you came here so quickly! Without Peke, I have no clothes to wear," Lala stated as she cupped her body to check if the outfit fitted perfectly.

"Jesus Christ! Are you kidding me? What was that? Is that those magical girls shit those chink Mongolian weavers watch in the fucking China or whatever?" John was, for the current moment, out of depth. He literally just watched someone in front of him have a dress-up sequence.

But what John could appreciate was that she was pure. When Vought whore—sorry—heroines do that, they make it look like they were high-class prostitutes instead of innocent and bubbly like the woman he's currently witnessing.

"Hey John! It looks nice, doesn't it?" Lala asked the blonde Supe with a smile on her face.

John gave a deadpan stare. "I don't know how you can wear that so proudly. Even Vought's most shameless whores will screech out if they are forced to wear that outfit."

"Hey! It's what I'm comfortable with!" Lala stated while waving her arms cutely.

"That's right! Your dull taste doesn't matter in the slightest, Earthling! "Peke spoke out rather proudly.

John popped a vein in his head. The fucking dress dog is grating on his nerves.

"And what's "Vought" anyway? You keep mentioning them?" Lala inquired John curiously.

John stayed silent. Then, he gritted his teeth. "Bunch of cockroaches that think they can control superior beings..." His wrathful whisper did not go unnoticed.

"Eh… what?" Lala asked. Clearly confused.

"Nothing. They are nothing of note. Let's not speak about them," John said with finality in his voice.

Peke, meanwhile, inquired her mistress, "So what's your plan now, Lala-sama?"

Lala pointed her left index finger at her chin and said, "Hmm. Well, I have some ideas."

"Those ideas better not be obnoxi—" John was about to retort to Lala, but he was cut off. Because some imbecile motherfuckers broke into his fucking house at the current moment.

How did they get in? They entered through the fucking window. They did not even knock. Even Americans, as uncultured and degenerate as they are, still knock at the door for proper entrance.

"Did you just trespass on my property?" John asked. His mood is not good. Actually, at the current moment, he's smiling like an unhinged man.

But the two men, not just one, in fucking suits ignored him.

"Goodness. What a troublesome lady! I should've restricted your movements, even if it meant tying your hands, until we left this planet." The man wearing a suit with a scar running through his left eye spoke with contained frustration.

"Hello! Did you not just fucking hear me? THIS IS MY HOUSE!" John screamed, his youthful face exuding anger. Vein popped in his head. How dare these ants ignore him?

But the two men ignored him. Again.

Lala scrunched up her face in annoyance and said, "Peke."

"….Yes?" The robot replied meekly.

"Didn't I tell you to be careful about people following you?" Lala asked her loyal robot.

"Indeed," Peke replied weakly, knowing her mistress was right.

"Jeez! You stupid robot! Everything just went down the drain!" Lala pouted as she cutely waved her arms.

"Ok.. Ok. Calm. Be calm. You're a god, John. Gods aren't supposed to be bothered by plebeian things like this. That's right, John. Be calm." When John was further ignored, he consoled himself. He tried telling himself that he was calm. But his appearance was to the contrary.

"Well, are you prepared now?" The man with a scar asked the pink-haired alien once more. Clearly, they plan to take her.

Lala took a step back.

"La-lala-sama, why not use the bracelet again?" Peke nervously asked.

"I can't. After I use the bracelet once, it takes a whole day to recharge its energy," Lala stated as she sweated a bit. She's not prepared at the moment.

"Come on, let's go!" The scarred man in a suit said impatiently as he proceeded to harshly grab the pink-haired alien.

"No! Let go of me! No!" Lala screamed in protest. She tried to get out of the man's grip, but it was too strong.

John, at the moment, ran out of patience. All he wanted was a nice bath while contemplating how to torture Stan and Vought executives in the most creative way.

Somehow, during those nice and therapeutic moments, a fucking voluptuous alien dropped in his bathtub and acted like she owned his place afterwards. Then, if that's not enough, someone trespassed on his house. Again. This time, it was two arrogant, disrespectful bugs.

Crimson-hot energy coalesced in his eyes. It gave him a menacing look, to be honest.

"I SAID. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY PROPERTY?" John minced the words. He emphasized every word with a wrathful tone. His glowing, crimson eyes added power.

"Eh… John? Your eyes…" Lala asked in confusion. She finally noticed him. And his crimson eyes were glowing. That's weird. Human eyes don't glow like that.

"This is none of your business, Earthling." The other man in the suit beside the scarred man spoke with a cold tone.

John is going to laser him. Then rip him to shreds. Then throw it into the nearby river. Perhaps he can donate him as fertilizer to his neighbor Patrick? Both options are good.

'Calm down. Lasering them right now is not a good idea. Blood will spill in my house. Furniture will be destroyed. Vought will come in. My life will be harder. More surveillance and bloody cameras. No, that can't do... ' John thought with wrath. He is trying his best to calm down. But the best was not enough to cope.

"If you don't want to get off my fucking property like a proper American should when an AR-15 is aimed at his face while invading a home, then—" John suddenly disappeared.

Superspeed.

The next moment, he appeared beside Lala; her hands were now free. John was hugging her behind her back to secure her.

"—Go fuck yourself," John stated as he pulled Lala in bridal carry and rushed out of the window, flying.

"What!? Flight!? An earthling can fly! Shit! Go after him!" The scarred man screamed out in surprise. Then, they both chased after the flying man.

=TxHxL=

This is not his day. That was the only thought that went through John's head as he flew slowly in the night sky. The hood of his blue jacket fluttered in the wind. His pants were a bit restrictive.

'Damn it. If only I could wear my costume,' he frustratedly thought. Vought told him to lay low and removed all the sets of clothes that he owned — the 'should be' Supe costume when he eventually debuts. Instead, they replaced his wardrobe with some monkey clothing. Not fitting for a god.

In his arms, he carries the pink-haired alien. The extraterrestrial beauty was silent.

"…You can fly," Lala's tone was weak. Meek even. It was utterly strange. He just held her, and now her personality almost changed? How?

"…Of course, I can. I'm a superior being after all," John said with an annoyed and proud tone.

"Ne…John, why did yo—" She was about to ask John but was cut off as he immediately replied.

"Because you're annoying. Because they've trespassed. And because… I can do whatever the fuck I want! Now stop asking questions!" John spluttered out in a hurry. As if he's guarding something.

"Pft… What kind of reasoning is that? HAHAHAHAHA!" The pinkette can't hold her laugh anymore. With her in his arms, she laughed. But his laugh was not disgraceful nor degrading. It was innocent. It was pure.

It was new. It was unique. John widened his eyes.

'How… can a person…a bug like her… really be genuine? Pure?' He thought. He did not believe such a being exists. All men, in the end, have ulterior motives. He knew that when he resided on those sterile walls. No one was genuine to him. All of them fear him.

He was fine with that. He has grown to like fear. He liked seeing fear in their eyes. The fear when they laugh. The fear when they walked alongside him. The fear when they talked to him while mustering respect at every opportunity.

The fear of a sinner knowing that, when a god looked at him, he knew that he deserved to be punished and extinguished like the smoldering ant he was. He was fine with that.

'Don't make me laugh… No one… No one is truly pure… No one except me…' John thought with a hoarse mind.

But then, he looked at the laughing alien in his arms. His dark thoughts were soon extinguished. The edge of his mouth curved itself slowly. Like it was a smile, but it was not.

'She's… not bad… I guess…' he thought. A bit of a red hue became visible on his face as he looked away to the faraway fields of Kansas.

"Eh! Your face is red, John. What's the matter?" Lala asked innocently.

"Shut the fuck up! I'm finding the right place!" John steered away the conversation. Her laughing image is still present in his mind.

"Huh? Right Place?" Lala asked once more.

Then, John smirked. A devilish smile appeared on his handsome face, "Right place… To dispose of them immediately, of course."

"Wha–No! John, you don't understand, they're my—WOAHH!" Lala screamed out in surprise.

John landed in a field of corn. The crops that the citizens of Kansas were so proud of. Their pride and joy.

"And now, we're ready…" John whispered out loud.

John looked from afar. He saw two men covering wide distances. Their strides were inhumane. Utterly inhumane. Three miles. Two. One. Half a mile. Quarter. Fifteen meters.

"It's time to stop fooling around. Don't interfere Earthling." The scarred man in a suit stated authoritatively.

"Hoh… How about I pay you back for trespassing in my house, and into American Soil!?" John exploded in anger. The disrespect that he experienced this night was more than enough to fuel him to raze the entire fucking state of California. Fuck California.

Hot crimson colors returned to his eyes, giving him the look of a Blood Knight. He clenched his fist. Superhuman muscles contracted. The force in his hands is enough to shake the Earth.

He felt a touch beside his right arm. Lala grabbed him, "Stop… Let me deal with this." She stated softly.

"Huh? Why should I follow your instructions, you pesky woma—" He stopped. He looked at her face.

Pure innocence. That's the only thing that John can see from the face of this annoying and beautiful alien.

He stopped. John stopped. He gritted his teeth in anger.

'Don't fuck with me!' He said in his head. Such innocence doesn't exist in this world! It's use or to be used! That's the first thing he realized when he was under the Laboratory of New York, suffering humiliation like a rat.

'Such a thing….. doesn't exist…..' He repeated once more in his thoughts. All humans are the same. All of these rats… all of them hide behind their smiles. All of these cockroaches put on a façade because they are weak! All of them, in the end, were inferior scum.

But when he looked at her, something stirred. Her smiling face, her closed eyes, and her soft touch… All of it was seem pure. But is it really? John doesn't give a shit anymore. If she wants to deal with her own problem, then fine!

"…Do what you like." The crimson glow from his eyes disappeared. He backed out and let the alien woman deal with her own problem.

The scarred man and his companion that were ready for battle immediately backed out, "That's a relief, Earthling. You know when to back out."

John smiled once more, but he did not utter a word. He will kill him. He will butcher him. He will dismember him. He will burn him. He will gouge out his eyes. He will torture him. He will feed him to the dogs. He will make his grinded sack of flesh a fertilizer. He. Will. Kill. Him.

"Hey! His name is John!" Lala reprimanded the two men while waving her hands childishly.

The dark thoughts that gathered in John's head promptly disappeared as he heard the alien woman speak.

A smile curved on his face, 'I'll let her do what she wants for now.'

The scarred man in a suit sighed, "Lala-sama, please… stop trying to run away from home!"

"I don't want to!" Lala petulantly replied.

"…" John stayed silent. He can't actually fucking believe what he's hearing right now.

"The fuck? You dropped from space all the way here because you ran from your fucking home?" John cannot fathom what he had just learned. He assumed the reason she warped to his bathtub was because of criminals, intergalactic struggles, and wars. Not… whatever the hell this is.

"Ehehe…" Lala twiddled her fingers as she faced John with an embarrassed face.

"Just how many times has this happened, Lala-sama?" The scarred man asked with a tired tone.

"I've had enough! I don't care if I'm the successor or whatever! I'm tired of meeting future husband candidates every day!" Lala shouted out, clearly fed up.

"This is your father's will." The scarred man simply replied.

John, at the current moment, just realized what a clusterfuck he had gotten himself into. Apparently, the woman warped to his tub because she is a successor, a princess probably, and she was fed up entertaining her different suitors that she clearly wants to reject every day.

The fuck?

"Christ's sake! Is this a Mexican Telenovela? Is the white horse gonna arrive soon?" John intoned with a tired voice. At this point, he was tired of surprises. It was said that God Zeus liked surprises. But apparently, John is a god that does not like surprises.

"I don't care about daddy." Lala said, her smile disappeared and was replaced with total seriousness.

The pink alien pocketed out a flip phone and dialed something.

"Wait…. A flip phone? What?" John was stupefied. This wasn't making any sense.

"TRANSMIT! VACUUM-KUN!"

The flip phone glowed. Slowly, a giant figure covered in bright light appeared.

The light died out, and the figure became apparent.

A giant ball of metal appeared. Its eyes were pure yellow, and its mouth was wide. Underneath the metallic ball, purple tentacles akin to squid can be seen. In fact, when one looked holistically at the figure, it's like a giant robotic squid.

"Crap! It's one of Lala-sama's inventions" the two Devilukean men, with their tails becoming apparent, echoed out in helplessness.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What's this Astroboy shit? Or is it from those Mongolian cartoons…" John contemplated. He does not show surprise anymore. He's already tired of that shit. He just takes the absurdities the pink-haired woman pulls out as much as he can.

Lala commanded her great invention, "Go. Suck them up."

The mouth of the Robotic Squid opened up.

Then, gusts of winds appeared coming from the mouth. Pressure increased all around. The leaves, the corns, and all the other crops started to drift upward violently. The suction was too great, no one is spared.

"KYUU-POP!" the robotic squid echoed out in a mechanical voice.

"AHHHHH!" The two Devilukean screamed as they were sucked into the invention. The mouth of the robotic invention swallowed their bodies whole.

John would have been sucked in too, that is if he were a normal human.

His Superhuman physique worked in full force. His feet stayed planted on the ground. His strength was too great. His balance was inhumanly perfect. The vacuum cannot suck him inside.

"Wow…. A giant fucking vacuum!" John said with a sarcastic wrath. He has had enough for tonight. But at the very least, it's over for now. Well, that is until he asks Lala.

The giant squid kept sucking. The crops were all sucked inside. 'Poor farmers,' was John's thought. Although he does not really feel that bad. Inferior beings were always suckers, what changed?

"Hey! How long will this thing keep sucking up things?" John asked as he was clearly impatient. He wants this whole ordeal to finish.

"Hmmm…." Lala cupped her chin with a serious face.

"Is there any problem, Lala-sama?" Peke asked her mistress.

"Wait…How do you turn off this thing again?" She asked with a serious tone.

John's face became utterly blank. Totally and absolutely blank. "Are you fucking serious right now?" he asked with the most deadpan tone he can muster.

Then, the robotic squid stopped sucking. It started to glow gold. Something bad is happening. John was sure of it.

He used his X-Ray eyes to confirm something. And sure enough, the temperature inside is rising more than a million degrees Celsius.

"What the fu—" Was his last words before the night sky became bright as the robotic vacuum exploded in a great pandemonium.

The explosion colored the night with lights. Dome of hot fire appeared in the middle of the crop fields, swallowing everything beside it.

For a moment, everything was loud. Then moments after that, the dome of fire disappeared. The aftermath was apparent.

The land was burnt, the crops were wasted, and most of all, someone's clothes were burnt to shreds.

Lala stood up. She coughed out a couple of times. Thankfully she was unharmed except for a few sections of her clothes being burnt.

"Ahhh…. Thank you, Peke! I would have been toast if it wasn't for you…" Lala stated apologetically and a bit weakly to her own trusted costume robot.

"Eugh….. Lala-sama, please refrain from using a dangerous invention without confirming the actual kill switch! I'm hurt too! Mumumumumumumu…." Peke cried out while reprimanding her mistress.

"Eheh…. Sorry Peke…" She apologized again.

Then, she suddenly remembered the Earthling, "Wait, where's John—"

She cut herself off as she turned her head. Why? Because a young blonde superpowered individual was standing there, naked. As in, no clothes at all.

Lala was slack-jawed. She looked at his youthful face, then his chiseled body akin to a demigod, then his…

"AH! LALA-SAMA! STOP! DO NOT RUIN YOUR OWN INNOCENCE!" Peke screamed as she covered the pure eyes of her mistress.

"Wa-wait! Peke!" Lala screamed out in surprise and disappointment.

John looked at the starry sky buck naked. Then, he laughed. He laughed out loud, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!"

Lala stood in her place while Peke is covering her eyes.

"Eh to… John?" She asked John, although she's a bit scared.

"Woman…..You and I are going to fucking talk. There's no way out of it. No escape. No segues. Understand?" John smiled as he asked the pink-haired beauty with a chilling tone.

"Ehehehehehe… Of course, of course…" Lala weakly laughed as she twiddled her fingers.

Under the starry sky of Kansas, the two beings shared an awkward yet happy moment.

=TxHxL=

And Chapter I is finished. Thank you for your support is finished. Thank you for your support.