Fear the Dead, Fight the Living
Phoebe POV...
Days, that's how long I laid in bed, the scent from Daryl's pillow was going away and I would just lay there, crying, sleeping. Rick, Michonne, Eric, Aaron, Carl and Sasha would all come check on me, bring me food, water and try to talk to me but I kept quiet as they sat there.
I couldn't get it out of my head, I've killed people, but to watch 2 people I love and care about get killed right in front of me...it hurt. Then seeing Daryl get taken away, not knowing what they were doing to him, it hurt even more, my heart ached everyday and I kept thinking about him, our memories together, especially the day I found out I was pregnant with our baby.
"Hey," Daryl says to me walking into the bathroom as I stood there with my back to him, "Pheebs? What is it?" He asked and I faced him holding the test, he looked at it then me, "Phoebe?"
"I'm pregnant" I breathed out and he walked over looking at the test
"But...I thought...you haven't even started taking your pills yet, how.."
"I don't know, I mean, it should have shown up when Pete did that ultrasound but...I don't know." I told him and he wrapped me up in a hug, "I'm pregnant" I whispered still in shock and he put his hands on my face then kissed me. It was a miracle, our miracle.
"I knew we could do it" He tells me and I smiled through my happy tears and kissed him again
I sniffled wiping my tears away then put my hand on my stomach, "Your daddy will be back. I just know it."
I finally decided I should get out of bed and try to make it through the day, so I got dressed, made myself look decent enough and I walked down stairs. When I reached the door I took a deep breath then headed outside, I saw a few people look at me but then quickly look away as I walked down the steps heading over to Eric's place.
"Hi Mrs. Dixon" I hear Kayden say as we walked with his mom down the street, I smiled at him and continued walking.
"Hey." Eric greeted from the bottom of their steps and I gave a small smile, "Coffee? Tea?" He asked me as we walked inside
"I'm good" I replied and sat on the couch then he sat next to me
"It's good to see you out. Are you ok?"
"I'm trying to be, I just...can't...stop thinking about them...or..Daryl" I said fighting back tears while I swallowed the lump in my throat and he pulled me into a hug
"It's gonna be okay," He tells me then looked at me, "I can't imagine what your going through, if it would have been Aaron I probably...I probably would fall apart, but sweetie, you have to be strong, for your family, for Daryl, and your baby" He says and I nodded then the front door opened, we looked and saw Aaron walk in
"Their here" He says and I look at Eric then stand up and walk outside to the street seeing a few trucks at the entrance of our gates. Then I saw him and Eric wrapped his arm around my shoulder to make sure I didn't fall over, there was my husband, in sweats with a big A spray painted on it, his face looked like he was beaten and I couldn't take my eyes off him until Eric grabbed my hand and I looked at him wiping away the tear that fell out of my eye. I was happy to know he was alive, but it hurt seeing him like this.
"Hot diggity dog!" I hear Negan say and I look at him clenching my jaw, "This place is magnificent! An embarrassment of riches, as they say. Yes, sir, I do believe you are gonna have plenty to offer up." He chuckled and I saw Rick move to Daryl
"Daryl, hey -"
"No." Negan cut him off, "Nope. He's the help. You don't look at him, you don't talk to him, and I don't make you chop anything off of him." He tells him and looked at Rosita, "Same goes for everyone" He said in a sing song voice at her, "Right?" He asked and she looked away. I took one last look at Daryl then walked away.
The saviors went house to house taking things out, they went to our house and I saw them walk out with our mattress, I didn't relly even care, I could barely sleep in it without Daryl next to me. After they finished I walked over to where Eric and Aaron, they looked at me as I glanced at Daryl who was walking with Rick and Negan but keeping his distance then I looked at Negan, wanting to take that bat from Rick and kill Negan.
"You see this? This is the kind of thing that just tickles my balls. A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as punch. You see, we really are reasonable people once you get to know us." Negan says and we stop walking, "Honest." He bends down and grabbed a pop from the cooler that was sitting there, "Ohh. Man." He opened it then drank it, "Damn, I love this place!"
"Negan. Somethin' you might wanna see." One of the men tells him handing him a camera
"Well, well, well. What do we have here? I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky-deaky." He says to Rick as two Saviors carry out Eric and Aaron's mattress. Aaron looked at me and out his hand on my shoulder as I stared at Negan
"...know me. I've killed people. I don't even know how many by now." I hear Rick's voice say over the camera, it was the tap Deanna made when we arrived.
"Jee-hee-sus! Is that you, Rick, underneath all that man-bush?" Negan asked him, "Shee-ot. I would not have messed with that guy." He says and turned it off handing it to someone, "But that's not you anymore...is it? Nope. I really gotta shave this shit." He indicated to his beard, "Whatever happened to that sick girl? That seemed like a hell of a stressful night for her. The way she was carrying on, she was married to number two, right?" Negan asked and I balled my fists up then Aaron put his hand on one of mine and I crossed my arms seeing Daryl briefly look at me then looked away, it made my heart twist and I looked down, "Careful. Careful how you're lookin' at me, Rick. Widows, especially ones that look like that...they...are special. I love 'em. Right after their husbands go, they are just...empty inside. But usually not for long." He chuckled, "Ahh. Where is she? I would love to see her."
"Do you care to pay your respects?" I hear Gabriel say to him and I looked up seeing him standing there
"Ho-ly crap! You are creepy as shit, sneaking up on me, wearin' that collar with that freaky-ass smile."
"My apologies. I'm Father Gabriel."
Negan chuckled then looked at Rick, "She didn't make it?" He asked and I looked Gabriel, I noticed some dirt on his pants and I inwardly chuckled at his quick thinking
"Mrs. Dixon, who are these people?" Kayden asked walking up to me, I looked at them then bent down to him
"They are bad people, but don't worry they are not here to hurt us ok?" I asked him and he nodded, "Where's your mom?"
"She's at the house, those bad people are taking our stuff."
I put my hand on his head, "Stay by me, ok?" I ask and he once again nodded his head and I walked with him near the armory and I see Daryl carrying out an arm full of guns
"Hold up." Negan stopped Daryl and grabbed a gun from him, "Let's see if you've been taking care of my guns." He says and I saw him aim it at Daryl, for a moment my heart stopped then I see Negan look at me for some reason then shoot a window at the house and Kayden jumped, I put my hand on his shoulder , should I have him here? Probably not, but I wouldn't let anything happen to him, "Feels good. Sounds good! Oh, I do believe Lucille's gettin' a little jealous." He says handing the gun to a savior then I see another savior come out with the RPG, "Well, ho-ly smokes! Look at this! It was you guys that took out Little Timmy and the Dick Brigade? Wow, Rick. Gettin' in your last licks. Ooh, man, I'm gonna have some fun with this."
"Please, I-I don't know for -" I hear Olivia say as one of the saviors dragged her up the stairs holding her wrist
"Arat, we don't do that unless they do somethin' to deserve it." Negan told her
"Yeah, we went through the inventory. Guns in the armory, guns they had around the walls, they're short. Glock 9, a .22 Bobcat, and a Compact 9MM" Oh shit I thought to myself
"Is that true?" Negan asked Rick as I grabbed Kayden's hand bringing him to my house
"Mrs. Dixon what are we doing?" He asked me and I went over to my kitchen sink opening the cupboard
"I forgot to give something to that man out there."
"The bad man?" He asked me and I grabbed my gun out from under the sink where I hid it after what happened here.
"Yeah buddy" I said and tucked it in the back of my pants then grabbed his hand and we walked out again. Some of the people gathered in the church. I saw Negan still standing by the armory, "Okay buddy stay right here. I'll be back" I told him and he nodded then I walked forward walking up to Negan
"Well..hello there beautiful. What can I do for you?" He asked with a creepy smile on his face as Daryl walked behind me to load guns in the truck.
"I umm...I forgot to...turn this back in to Olivia" I told him pulling out my gun and handing it to him even though I wanted to shoot him with it.
"Well, well, well. Would you look at that." He says then chuckled, "Now tell me. Why did you forget to do that?"
"I used to be a cop, before all this and I guess it was just force of habit keeping it with him." I told him looking him dead in the face, I've always been a good liar.
"Well shit! I would have never guessed you for a cop. I guess Daryl kind of got lucky huh?" He asked and I looked at him confused and he leaned slightly towards me, "Yeah, I know" He whispered to me then I see him look past me, "Now who is this little champ?" He asked and I whipped around to see Kayden moving over to us. I walked towards him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"My name is Kayden"
"Well hi there Kayden. Is this your mom?" He asked him indicating to me and I pulled him back a bit
"No. My mommy is at our house. Mrs. Dixon watches me when my mommy doesn't feel well."
"Isn't that sweet." He says and smiled at me making my stomach turn
"Buddy go find your mom" I told him not taking my eyes off Negan then Kayden ran towards his house
"Cute kid" Negan tells me
"He is, and if you or any of your men..."
"Whoa! Let me stop you right there, I don't take kindly to threats. Even if they are coming from a beautiful woman such as yourself," He says and I see him look at Daryl who I knew was steaming with anger right now, "I don't want to have to turn you into a widow now." He said and I looked at him then suddenly Rick walked over to us lightly grabbing my arm and pulled me away, "What you got for me, Rick?" He asked him and Rick handed him a bag with the other two guns, "Well, would you look at that? They were here after all. Funny how a little "Holy shit! Somebody's gonna die!" lights a fire under everybody's ass!" He says and Olivia whimpered, I walked over to her and put my arm around her shoulder, "So, tell me, Rick - which one of your fine folks almost cost Olivia the rest of her days?"
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"No, it matters. See, you need to get everybody on board. Everybody. Or...we just go right back to square one."
"Hell of a place you got here, Rick." Negan tells him as we walk to the gate
"Give me a second." Rick tells him and I followed where he was looking and I see Michonne duck from inside the house outside of the gates
"No."
"Please, can you just... give me a second?" Rick asked and walked away
A few minutes later he returned with Michonne who was carrying a deer, "Look at this!" Negan says
"I thought she was scavenging. She was hunting. This one never came inside. We kept it near the line." Rick tells him handing him a rifle
"Look at this. This is something to build a relationship on. Good for you, Rick. This is readin' the room and gettin' the message. I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again. You, sir...are special." Negan tells him handing the gun to one of his men
"Now that you know we can follow your rules..."
"Yes?" Negan asked
"...I'd like to ask you if Daryl can stay." Rick tells him and I look at Negan
"Not happenin'." He says then paused, "You know what? I don't know. Maybe Daryl can plead his case. Maybe Daryl can sway me. Daryl?" He asked him but Daryl stayed quiet, "Hmm..how about the Mrs's?" He asked looking at me and I tried to fight it but I looked at Daryl who lightly shook his head and I looked down staying quiet, "Well, you tried. Now what you got to do is get over that tall wall of yours and try harder out there. Earn for me. Because we're coming back soon, and when we do, you better have something interesting for us, or Lucille, she's gonna have her way. I want you to hear that again. If you don't have something interesting for us...somebody's gonna die. And no more magic guns. Arat, grab that deer. It's getting late. Let's go home." Negan told her and Michonne dropped the deer walking away and I went with her. She put her arm through mine and I leaned my head on her shoulder.
"It's gonna be ok" She whispered to me and I stopped at the bottom step of my house looking at the front door. I stood there for a good 5 minutes until I walked away heading over to Eric and Aaron's knocking on their door then Eric answered
"I don't want to be alone right now" I told him holding back tears and he pulled me to him then Aaron joined the hug as I cried into theirs shoulders.
"Stay as long as you need to" Aaron told me and I nodded my head then walked inside.
It has only been a week since the saviors came, I was basically living with Eric and Aaron for now because it was just to hard for me to be in my house without Daryl. I was walking with Kayden when I see the gates open up and the saviors pulled in, what the hell? I asked myself and looked at Kayden, "Go to your mom sweetie" I told him and he nodded then ran to his house as I see them exit the trucks, then I see Carl. I looked at him confused and he looked at me then they headed into their house.
Later on I walked down the street with Eric, I had to admit, I was not feeling great, I wanted to cry every time I woke up but having Eric and Aaron to comfort me was enough, they were good to me, opened up their home because I didn't want to be in my house. We walked over to the small crowd that was gathered by Rick's house to see Negan playing pool..with Spencer.
"I could never do this with Rick. He would just be standing there, scowling, giving me that annoying side-eye he gives me." Negan tells him as Spencer set up the pool balls
"That's actually what I came to see you about. I want to talk to you about Rick." what the hell?
"All right. Talk to me, Spencer. Talk to me about Rick." He says to him after taking a shot
"I get what you're trying to do here, what you're trying to build. I'm not saying I agree with your methods, but I get it. You're building a network. You're making people contribute for the greater good. It makes sense. But you should know that Rick Grimes has a history of not working well with others."
"Mm. Is that so?" He asked
"Rick wasn't the original leader here. My mom was. She was doing a really good job of it. Then she died, not long after Rick showed up - same with my brother, same with my dad."
"So, everything was peachy here for - what - years? And then Rick shows up, and suddenly, you're an orphan? That is the saddest story I've ever heard. Good thing for you he's not in charge anymore." Negan pointed out
"Doesn't matter. His ego's out of control. He'll find a way to screw things up, to try and do things his way, to take over. That's what he did with my mom. That's what he'll do again." Spencer tells him and I glare at him
"What exactly are you proposing be done about that?" Negan asked him
"I am my mother's son. I can be the leader she was. That's what this place needs. That's what you need."
"So I should put you in charge - that's what you're saying?" He asks
"We'd be much better off."
"You know, I'm thinking, Spencer. I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts. But he is out there right now, gathering shit for me to make sure I don't hurt any of the fine people that live here. He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done. That takes guts. And then there's you...The guy who waited for Rick to be gone so he could sneak over and talk to me to get me to do his dirty work, so he could take Rick's place. So I got to ask - if you wanna take over, why not just kill Rick yourself and just take over?" Negan asked him
"What? No, no. I didn't - I don't -"
"You know what I'm thinking? 'Cause I have a guess. It's because you got no guts." He tells him and then stabs Spencer in the stomach slicing him open, I put my hand over my mouth and turned away feeling Eric put his hand on my shoulder, "Ohh! Ohh. How embarrassing. There they are. They were inside you the whole time. You did have guts. I've never been so wrong in my whole life!" He says and I turned back to face him, "Now, someone oughta get up here and clean this mess up. Oh. Anyone want to finish the game? C'mon. Anybody? Anybody? C'mon. I was winning!" He says and sudden;y I see Rosita hold up a gun and shoot at him, but she missed and hit the bat, "Shit! What the shit?!" He yells and I see Rosita get tackled to the ground by Arat, "Shit! You just - You tried to kill me?! You shot Lucille!"
"She got in the way." She told him and he picked up the cell casing
"What is this? What is this? This little bad boy made from scratch? Look at those crimps. This was homemade. You may be stupid, darlin', but you showed some real ingenuity here. Arat, move that knife up out on that girl's face." He told her and she held the knife to Rosita's cheek, "Lucille's beautiful, smooth surface is never gonna look the same, so why should yours?! Unless... Unless you tell me who made this."
"It was me. I made it." Rosita told him
"You see, now I just think you're lying. And you lying to me now?! Such a shame. Arat's gonna have to cut up that pretty face. One more try."
"It was me." Rosita says again lifting her head up causing the knife to cut her
"Oh! You are such a badass! Fine. Have it your way. Arat... Kill somebody." He told her
"No. It was me! No!" Rosita screamed but Arat aimed her gun and killed Olivia, then I see Rick walk over with a beaten up Aaron, both me and Eric rushed over to him and I checked his face
"We had an agreement." Rick says to Negan walking over to him
"Rick!" Negan yelled, "Look, everybody, it's Rick. Ah, your people are making me lose my voice doin' all this yelling. Rick... how about a "thank you"? I mean, look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends, and because of that, we're never gonna sit around and braid each other's hair or share our deepest, darkest secrets, but how about a little credit? I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am. Your kid - he hid in one of my trucks and machine-gunned a bunch of my men down, and I brought him home, safe and sound, and I fed him spaghetti." He tells Rick and I looked at Carl the same time Rick did, "Another one of your people - well, he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. I took him out...for you. And another one, here - she shot Lucille, trying to kill me just now, so I gave you one less mouth to feed. And by looking at her - that mouth did some major damage. Now, personally, I wouldn't have picked her to be the one to go, but Arat- I don't know - didn't trust her."
"Your shit's waiting for you at the gate. Just go." Rick told him
"Sure thing, Rick... right after I find the guy or gal that made this bullet." He says but no one answered, "Arat?" He says and she pointed the gun at Aaron and Eric but I moved in front of them
"Phoebe" Eric whispered to me but I stared at Arat
"It was me!" Tara says
"No, it wasn't." Eugene spoke up crying, "It was me. It was only me."
"You?" Negan asked him
"It required one spent casing, one four-holed turret re loader, powder, one funnel for the powder-"
"Shut up. I believe you." Negan tells him then held the bat up, "Lucille, give me strength." He sighed, "I'm gonna be relieving you of your bullet maker, Rick - that and whatever you left for me at the front gate. And however much you scavenged, it's not good enough, because you're still in a serious, serious hole after today. Let's move out!" Negan tells his people and a couple guys grabbed Eugene, I went to move but Aaron held me back
"No! No, no! Please, just take me!" Rosita cried, "No!"
"Rick, I ain't gonna lie - your kitchen is a goddamn mess." Negan chuckled and they all walked away, "I'll see you next time."
I moved over to Rosita who was crying on the ground, at first she pushed my hands away but I went to comfort her again and she cried as I rubbed her back, "Come on, we need to take care of that cut." I tell her and she sat there then got up and I brought ehr to the infirmary.
That night I finished cleaning up Aaron's face when there was a knock at the door, I saw Eric answer it and I saw Rick standing there, "Hey Rick"
"Hi" He walked in and looked at me, "Can I talk to you?" He asked me and I looked at Eric and Aaron who nodded and walked out of the room, "We're going to the Hilltop."
I looked at him in shock, "Why?"
"Because we need people, to fight. And to get Daryl back" He said I gave a happy chuckle holding back tears and he hugged me.
"Thank you"
"Sasha! Enid!" I hear Maggie yell from the guard post as we reached the gates of the Hilltop and they opened with Maggie standing there. Rick walked up and hugged her
"You're okay?" He asked her
" I'm okay. The baby's okay - all of us."
"You were right... right from the start. You told us to get ready to fight. I didn't listen, and I couldn't. I can now." He told her and then looked over to his right, I followed his gaze and my heart stopped, Daryl was standing there. I didn't even hesitate, I ran over to him and he wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his shoulder not wanting to let go. He put his hands on my face and I smiled through my tears as he kissed me, then Rick walked over and I moved over a bit. Daryl nodded at Rick then hugged him too, I wiped my tears away even though they kept coming and I see Daryl reach into his back pocket and handed Rick his gun. I felt someone nudge me and I look at Jesus, he held up my gun to me and I smiled silently thanking him then Daryl hugged Michonne then Tara, then pulled me to him again as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Rick looked at all of us and we made our way to the house.