The Quidditch League Fanfiction Round 5

Team: Falmouth Falcons

Position: Keeper

Prompt: Cruelty (from a character who doesn't have the flaw in canon)

Word Count: 1,292 (according to MS word)

Betas: PhoenixAzul7, Arianna Waters

Warnings: Dealing with grief and very mild abuse

Summary: Remus makes a decision in his life after Sirius falls through the veil

Also written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (challenges & assignments)

Ghost Hunting - Task 1: Write about an irritable, bitter, or angry person.

the world suddenly felt very cold

Remus lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. The window to his left, with no curtains or nets, leaving the room open to the world, kept him aware of the passing time. That was all he had in there; a bed and a naked window.

The sun wasn't up yet but there was a blue light filling the room; the blue hour popped into his head. Something his mother had taught him when they were going through the phases of the moon and sunrises and sunsets when he was young.

It made the room feel cold, like if he looked close enough, his breath would mist up before him. Summer was upon them, it wasn't possible, even for Britain, for it to be that cold.

But the world suddenly felt very cold without Sirius Black in it.

The world had been without Remus' closest friend for over twelve hours now. When he'd returned home from the Ministry, Remus had come straight to his bedroom, sitting on the end of the bed, before flopping back and not moving for the last eight hours, clutching his wand to his chest as if it was the only thing tethering him to this life.

He heard the Floo fireplace downstairs announce someone's arrival. "Go away," he whispered, not moving.

"Remus?" Dora's voice called up the stairs to him.

"Go away," he whispered again. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment.

He heard her clumsy footsteps on the stairs, tripping on the final step. "Remus." Not a question this time, she was standing by the door.

"Go away," he said for a third time. "Just go away." He sat up, his wand dropping to the floor with barely a noise from it. His joints ached in protest at having not moved for so long, his back feeling like it never wanted to be on a bed again.

Remus looked to the door; Dora was still standing there, her hands gripped tightly together in front of her. "You left without saying a word. I wanted to check if you're okay," she whispered, like she was scared to fill the void with her words.

"You've seen that I am. You can go now," he muttered, leaning his elbows onto his knees. He kept his eyes on the brown, threadbare carpet under his feet.

"Remus," she said, the pain clear in her voice.

He listened to her dull steps on the carpet, coming closer. The bed dipped next to him and he shot up the moment her hand tried to reach for one of his. "I don't want you here. Leave!"

Remus went to the window, facing the view. He heard her sharp breath at how loudly he'd spoken as he leant his hands on the windowsill. He let his head drop against the pane of glass – it was icy cold against his forehead. Early morning mist was curling over the mounds of grass, his lone cottage in the Yorkshire hills the only thing to be seen for miles. The sun was starting to appear, a deep blood orange colour chasing away the dark blue of the night. It didn't make him feel warm.

"I'm not going until you talk to me, Remus," Dora said quietly.

Without looking, Remus could almost see her folding into herself at the tone he'd used, scared she'd make the wrong move. He'd seen Dora's feelings developing over the last year, He had even encouraged them when he knew he shouldn't have, enjoying being the centre of someone's attention. She was a light in his life he hadn't had for many years. He'd fooled himself into thinking he was allowed to have what everyone else had; love.

With a deep breath, Remus stood, turning to face her. He sat down on the small edge of the windowsill, the wood digging painfully into the back of his legs. He clasped his hands on his lap and dug his nails into the back of his hands. Physical pain was all he could feel. "I'd like you to go," he said evenly, keeping a hard edge in his voice. "Now."

Dora stared at him with wide eyes, her vibrant pink hair messy and her clothes disheveled; she hadn't been to bed either. She eventually shook her head. "No, I—"

"This is not a debate, Nymphadora!" he snarled, leaning forward slightly. "Get out of my house and do not come back. Do you understand me?"

Dora stood up, her shaking hands already reaching out to him. Remus stood up to his full height, straightening back, ignoring the still aching muscles, and took a large stride towards her. She stepped back, a flash of uncertainty in her eyes. He pushed her hands down so forcefully she fell forward; Remus made sure not to help her keep her balance.

"Remus." She kept saying his name like it would ground her. "He was my cousin. You don't think I'm hurting too?" At least she had some defiance in her eyes at that.

"You didn't know him. I grew up with him. He was—" An unexpected lump caught in his throat, cutting off his words. Remus clenched his teeth together. "Stop it," he snapped when her hand found his, yanking his behind his back.

"Why are you doing this?"

Remus' resolve almost broke at hearing how small her voice sounded.

Almost.

He bit down on his tongue, letting himself bite a little too hard to make himself feel the pain. Anything to stop the numbness currently inhabiting his body, his mind … his emotions. Then he let himself go.

Grabbing Dora by the shoulders, Remus let his fingers dig into her a little too hard, the wolf in him enjoying the fear that flashed in her eyes. "You've never been any good at listening, so I'm going to need you to listen properly, do you understand?"

She gripped at his wrists. "You're hurting me."

With a hard shake, her hair changing to a deep red with the movement, Remus pushed his fingers in further; he would leave a bruise or two, he was sure. "Do you understand?" he asked again, a growl in his voice.

"Yes," she snapped, her nails digging into the skin of his wrist. "I understand." Her voice cracked, her chin wobbled and her eyes watered.

Remus pushed on. "You need to stop with this childish fawning you've been doing over the last year. Stop it." He let go of her roughly, the force making her take a stumbling step backwards. "I do not need it or want it. I do not want you."

The words rang out in the room, settling around them like a stifling smog.

"You're grieving … you don't mean that," Dora finally said, struggling to say the words as dry sobs kept taking over.

"You're not listening! AGAIN!" He slapped the back of his hand into the other, leaning down to get into her face. "Get out of my house and do not come back. Are you listening now?"

Dora slapped him so hard his head snapped to the side and he took a step back to keep his balance. "When you're finished with whatever this is meant to be, you'll owe me an apology."

By the time Remus had straightened up from the slap, she was already stomping down the stairs, her sobs becoming distant the further she got. He waited until he heard the familiar sound of Floo taking her away before he sagged to his knees.

Remus punched the floor repeatedly, bruises already appearing on his knuckles by the time he was done. Letting out a guttural roar, he collapsed onto his side, curling up into a foetal position.

Remus no longer felt numb.