Note: Thanks to my best friend and writing partner, Bloodrayne666, for her help with this chapter.
Jake Freeman, and several other characters mentioned in this story belong to her, including her version of Monalisa.

Chapter 3

It's Complicated

Shortly after having left the dojo, instead of taking a shower as she had said she would, she headed right for Tyroth and Sephie's room, seeking some much needed counselling.

"I've never been so embarrassed!" she almost wept into her hands after telling the gecko what had happened between her and Jake, her face red as a beetroot as they sat on the bed.

As much as Sephie felt bad for her sister in law, she was also glad that the marine iguana had her face buried in her hands, for despite trying to stay as professional as possible, Sephie was having a hard time not to laugh, not to mention keeping a straight face.

"Oh gods, what am I going to do?!" Amber lamented.

Taking a deep breath to collect herself, Sephie placed her hand on Amber's shoulder.

"First, try to calm down, Amber, because right now, you're acting like a high school girl that tripped in front of her crush."

"I am?" Amber looked up from her hands, letting Sephie's word sink in for a few seconds. "Oh my gods, you're right! I am like just like that!"

"There's nothing wrong with that," Sephie continued. "but unless you calm down, all you're going to do is kick yourself about it."

"Right… sorry. But a crush? On Jake?"

"I never said that."

"But-"

"I said that you acted like a girl with a crush, not that you had one on Jake. You're the one that came to that conclusion."

Amber's face turned red again, even though it had barely started to fade.

"There's nothing wrong about it, Amber. You are allowed to have such feelings, and more."

"But… for Jake? And after all this time? He's been living here with us for years, and only now I get a crush on him? I'm sorry, but it just doesn't make sense."

"Well, I don't think it's actually a crush, but rather… you might just be in love."

"In love…? With… Jake…?" Amber's cheeks again flushed with heat and colour.

"If you like spending time with each other, you are not immune from developing romantic feelings. Maybe all you needed was a little push to realise it, or a squeeze." she said the last word with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Stop it, Sephie!" Amber once again hid her face in her hands.

"I'm not gonna tease you any more, Amber." Sephie giggled. "But you need to take some time and think about what you really feel about Jake. Maybe you are in love with him, or maybe you just felt some sexual attraction to him at that moment. Maybe it was only your body reacting to the stimuli, that's not a big deal."

"I guess you're right…" Amber sighed. "But if you are, why would I be attracted to him? I mean, he's human while I'm a mutant."

"Sexual and romantic attractions are more complex than you might think, especially in this day and age, I should know." Sephie said. "I'm bisexual, and I explored my orientation a lot as I went through puberty, and not just by fooling around with others, and I learned quite a lot."

"Oh?" Amber looked up at Sephie. "Like what?"

"Well, there is this one orientation that, in very simple terms, means that you're attracted to close friends or people that you have a very strong bond with. I believe it was called being demisexual, and demiromantic respectively."

"And you think that I'm a… what are they called, a demi?"

"Not sure what the term might be to be honest, but it's a possibility. And it may not even clash with you being attracted to men. Like I said, it's complicated, but I don't think you being a mutant makes it much more complicated. Whatever your orientation, I doubt that it changed when you mutated. I can't speak for the others here, but I didn't change, and neither did your brother. We've just had to look past our animal features, and see that we're just people all the same, we just look very different from humans. I mean, you got along well with pretty much everyone here right off the bat even when you were still human."

"I did, yeah. I'll admit, though, that it was strange at first, talking with a shark, a frog, and so many more, but after a while, I didn't think anything about it."

"I felt just the same, and I also had to get used to being a gecko myself during that time as well. And I'm sure Jake went through the same thing as you when he moved in here, because he is completely indifferent towards the rest of us now. Human or mutant doesn't really matter here, we're all people."

"Yeah, you're right, but what should I do about then? About Jake?"

"First, take a little time to do some self reflection, try to sort out what you actually feel about him. If you still need to talk after that, I'll be here for you. But don't hide from him, doing that will only make things feel even more awkward between the two of you, no matter your feelings. Keep interacting with him, apologise for the accidents, maybe even laugh it off. I'm sure he was as embarrassed about it as you were."

"He was something alright." Amber sighed. "I trust you, Sephie, so I'll do as you say. I'm just… well, worried."

"About what?"

"If you're right, and I really am in love with him, what do I do if he doesn't feel the same?"

"Same as you would with anyone else, you try to move on. But unless you take that risk, you will never know."

"Yeah… I suppose. Thanks for the talk, Sephie." Amber said, and stood up from the bed. "I'm gonna head back to my room, take a shower, and mull this over."

"We're family, Amber." Sephie said, standing up as well and giving Amber a hug. "We will always be here for you."

"Thank you."

Leaving to go back to her room and the much needed shower, Amber was grateful for the help Sephie had given her, even if she was still left with a lot of questions. The lingering memories of her nightmares, the thing she had originally wanted to talk to the gecko about, had all been pushed deep into the back of her mind, having given way to what had happened between her and Jake.

Jake.

Did she really have feelings for him? Those kinds of feelings?

She wasn't sure, but she would give it a lot of thought to determine if that truly was the case. The coming days would certainly be difficult, one way or another.

Meanwhile, Jake was already taking a shower of his own, a cold one. Even after cleaning up in the dojo and putting away all the mats, his mind just wouldn't stop replaying the events that made them stop their sparring.

The cold water washing over his body, he tried to make sense of everything, but his mind was a mess.

He hadn't meant to grab her breast, nor to get an erection after she had pinned him to the ground, but those things happened anyway, there was nothing to do about that. But it was more than just that.

Jake feared that he was starting to develop feelings for Amber, and he just couldn't let that happen. He would gladly admit that she was a very nice person, and they did have quite a few things in common, but that alone couldn't make up for the extreme differences between them. They were two completely different species, him being human, and she a mutant.

There was no way that such a combination could ever work out.

Jake sighed deeply as his thoughts brought up a memory, one that he was not proud of.

Shortly after discovering that his sister Monalisa was in fact still alive, albeit as a mutant, things had gotten… complicated for a lack of a better word. It had been revealed to him that their brother, Callum, had been attacked by some gang members that pumped him full of drugs just prior to Jake meeting Monalisa for the first time in decades, and only mere minutes after that, he learned of his niece, Pandora, and that's when all hell broke loose.

As if he hadn't gone through enough already at that point, but learning that Monalisa had had a child with Raphael, a turtle turned humanoid mutant, was the last drop. He remembered how he verbally assaulted Raphael, venting his frustrations on him and accusing him of bestiality and zoophilia. Jake had even gone so far as to try and punch Raphael, only for Monalisa to step between them in an attempt to stop the fight from getting worse, but instead she was hit in the face by Jake.

Jake tugged at his hair. That had to have been one of the lowest points in his life, and to be fair, he had gone through a lot at that very time, but that was not an excuse, only an explanation, and he still hated himself for all he did and said. Monalisa and the others had forgiven him for it, but he had never really forgiven himself.

At that time, it was as if his true self had come forth, a part that even he had not known about, and he hated it.

Even if, against all odds, he and Amber could form a relationship, would she even want him if she knew what he really was like? Could he live with himself like that, a constant hypocritical life?

He punched the wall, turned off the water, and took several deep breaths to try and calm down. He was riling himself up for no reason, the memories polluting his chain of thoughts. He had to think about all of this as rational as possible.

He was a human living among mutants, him being the odd one out in this village. Amber couldn't have any romantic or sexual feelings for him, just as he couldn't have any for her. There were already plenty of other guys in Mutopia, other mutant guys, nearly all of which would make far better partners for the marine iguana than he ever would.

Maybe she wasn't even interested in a romantic relationship, but even if all she desired was sex, with how sexually liberal the mutants were, able to have sex with basically anyone else without further commitment, she would never have to resort to picking the lone human.

Wiping the steam of the mirror, Jake looked at his reflection, his human reflection.

"… It could never be… we're far too different…"

So both Amber and Jake are struggling with conflicting thoughts and emotions, but are approaching them with somewhat different mindsets. Wonder how things will go for them from here.
Jake's breakdown mentioned took place in Bloodrayne666's story Oh Sister Where Art Thou, chapter 19 to be specific. Very good story, highly recommended.