Summary: How much more can you take, I wonder? How long until I break you?
It was hard to get some sleep when you woke up every so often with a scream dying in your throat and pain setting your nerves alight. After the third time, Naegi decided that it would probably be more productive to do something else with his time than spend fruitless hours in bed. He needed to learn how to work around losing half his vision (temporarily, he hoped) and his depth perception alongside it.
Walking through the Despair Hotel, he blinked (winked?) when he noticed that a door was slightly ajar. Normally people locked these, especially since the no going around at night rule wasn't enforced, and more than a few members of class 78 roamed the hallways when they were supposed to be sleeping. He would know. He checked the doors from time to time when he was patrolling to drown out the fact that he could hear Maizono singing softly when his mind started to wander. Glancing up at the nameplate, he shrugged before continuing on his way to the second floor, ignoring the way Asahina practically flattened herself against the wall when he went by. Not that he was particularly bitter about it. Just a month ago, if he had seen this version of himself in a dark alley, Naegi probably would've run away screaming. He snickered at the thought. How times change.
Scanning his E-Handbook to grant him access to the room, he nodded briefly in greeting as he brushed past Fujisaki, ignoring the clunk the weight they had been lifting made when it was dropped onto the floor. Selecting a tennis ball, the Luckster began to throw it against the wall, making sure to vary the strength and way he threw it each time, trying to catch it at the last possible moment.
"Not to be rude or anything…" The Programmer began, appearing to select their words carefully. "But shouldn't you be resting?"
"Couldn't sleep." Naegi offered a grim smile.
"Ah." Something akin to pity flickered across their face. "What are you doing?"
"Practicing." He threw the ball once more before snatching it out of the air. "Need to figure out how to live with one eye for now. That means making sure anything I can do with two eyes, I should be able to do with one." They stood there in silence for several minutes, punctuated by the sounds of impacts before a particularly harsh throw sent the ball flying straight back at him. Placing a hand in front of his face, he went through the motions of catching it…only to have the flying object smack him in the nose when he lowered his arm, having completely misjudged the distance between himself and it. Cursing, Naegi bent down to retrieve the ball, pausing when Fujisaki grabbed it.
The Programmer tossed it up and down, giving him a cheeky smile. "Maybe you should take a little break." He grunted, somewhat reluctant to argue but also itching to do something that wasn't staring blankly at the ceiling. "How about you teach me a little more about fighting?"
The teenager relented, grumpily sitting down on the bench. "I'm only doing this because you asked nicely."
"Of course, of course." Fujisaki nodded sagely. "So. Last time you talked about not fighting."
His eye throbbed. Naegi ignored it. "I've said all I need to on that specific subject. But…as you might already know, there are some fights you can't run away from." Panic and fury in the face of the Ultimate Martial Artist. Biting down on his tongue to keep himself from screaming. Washing blood from trembling hands. "Whether it be because there's nowhere to run to, or a greater reason beyond your own continued survival to stay, there are certain scenarios where escaping conflict is not an option. Unfortunate, but more commonplace than you might expect."
The Ultimate Programmer frowned, probably considering the possibility that someone would jump them for an easy kill. "And then what? What if they're stronger than you, or faster than you, or simply better than you?"
"What you should always expect when entering combat is that your opponent is better than you." Naegi grinned, kicking his legs slightly. "Keeps you humble. Keeps you sharp. You're less likely to take a concealed knife to the gut if you're wary. So!" He leaned forward, watching Fujisaki curiously. "What do you do when your opponent's clearly in a better spot?"
"Well…" They adopted an expression of concentration. "Level the playing field? But how? There's gotta be something you can do…" Fujisaki glanced at him, and Naegi rotated his wrist in a gesture for them to keep thinking. "Fight dirty?"
"Not bad." They weren't entirely correct, but they certainly did come to a satisfactory answer more quickly than Naegi expected. "There's a reason why most who practice martial arts absolutely fall apart in street fights. Even in randori , there are rules to follow, moves you can't use, et cetera. I mean, imagine grappling some guy you started a fight with, only for them to bite your nose. Very unpleasant."
Shakily, he got to his feet for a better demonstration, using his fingers to gesture at sweet spots. "Punch someone in the kidneys hard enough and they'll be pissing blood for days. The groin's a go-to as well, because no matter what tough guys might say, kicking someone there will have them singing soprano immediately. Poking someone in the…eyes…will cripple them for the rest of the fight. A jab to the solar plexus knocks the wind out of you." Funnily enough, despite humanity's warmongering ways, the human body was not built for fighting in the slightest. Too many bundles of nerves and things that were easy to break. The Programmer looked slightly ill, but there was a grim understanding on their face.
"Sometimes…" He began, choosing his words carefully. "Sometimes you won't be able to afford to hold back in a fight. So I want you to know this; regret's a fool's game. Never hold back. Hit hard, hit first, and make sure you get the last hit. You can deal with the consequences afterwards, but you have to survive first. You got that?"
Fujisaki gulped, but nodded slowly. "I hope it never comes to that."
Naegi suppressed a cynical laugh. The world rarely cared about what you hoped for. It was a lot easier to simply prepare for the worst case scenario. Still, he appreciated that sort of optimism. It reminded him of better days.
Coaching the Programmer through some basic self-defence techniques consumed the rest of the evening, and while it did end up being fairly productive, the strain of being so active despite his mounting wounds was starting to take its toll on the Luckster. Now, he wasn't fragile by any means. Most people just took one look at his height, the way he concealed himself with smiles and oversized hoodies, then dismissed him as your run-of-the-mill average joe. Which he was. But having to deal with the roulette wheel of fate so often meant that eventually, you started to pick up ways of making your life just a little bit easier. Plus, it wasn't too hard to keep fit. Running so often did that to a person.
Still, never in his life had he been in such a pathetic physical state. Usually this was the point where he'd end up in the hospital, thinking of a way to pay off the bills, but the infirmary was still barred from entry (he checked). So, with nothing better to do with his time, he scrounged the storage facility for supplies to refill his trusty first-aid kit. It was surprisingly well-stoked, although he noted with some amusement that the canisters of gasoline he had used about a day ago were mysteriously absent. Now where did Monokuma get all that money? Was he some sort of rich prick with a penchant for sending people into death games? Honestly it wouldn't surprise him, considering how many rich pricks ended up doing really weird things with their money. There was a metaphor in there somewhere, but Naegi wasn't quite in the mood to entertain that idea. Although it did lend credence to the idea that the apocalypse was going on outside these walls and Monokuma just happened to grab stacks of cash that were worth absolutely nothing nowadays. If not…well, he hoped the Mastermind was currently bemoaning the loss of ten million dollars. Not that it hadn't been worth the cost, but it would make it just a little more satisfying.
He palmed the key that Fujisaki had given him, unlocking the small locker that Alter Ego was stored in. The Programmer had requested, rather sheepishly, that he assist in feeding the AI data to help it grow. Something about having multiple opinions. Perfectly logical, although Naegi had a sneaking suspicion that they were doing it in an attempt to dissuade Naegi from going back to his usual shenanigans. Surreptitiously taking a second look to make sure there wasn't going to be a bear popping up to finish the job, the Luckster switched the laptop on, entered the password, then keyed in the proper command prompt in order to draw Alter Ego's attention (Fujisaki had originally left the device unlocked until Naegi pointed out that there was a good chance the Mastermind had a master key somewhere and had a penchant for snooping).
The AI's smiling face appeared on the screen, eyes meeting his own. Even knowing that it was simply using the laptop's camera to "see" him, it was still creepy. Mostly because Naegi didn't quite know if Alter Ego was sentient. Fujisaki hadn't given him much of an explanation, divulging only that they had signed an NDA and the project was supposed to simulate human thoughts. It didn't quite make sense for Alter Ego to be a Strong AI, especially since that sort of thing required more processing power than a battered laptop. Still, they were the Ultimate Programmer for a reason. It was pretty awkward talking to the AI when you were contemplating whether or not it was a machine using pre-programmed responses to answer you, or a thinking being slowly gaining awareness of the world around it. Best not to think too much about it.
[Hello there, Naegi-san]
[Heya.]
[Normally, Master comes to check on me. Are you here in his stead?]
[Sorta.] Naegi shrugged, fingers dancing along the keyboard. [They said you might want someone else to talk to.]
Somehow, despite only being an image of a floating head, the AI seemed to perk up. [Of course! I'd love to learn more about you.] How charming. And a little strange.
[I'm nothing special.]
[That's not what Master seems to think.] Alter-Ego adopted a more serious expression. [He's told me about the death game. And what you've done to try and protect everyone else. He mentioned, and I quote, "If anyone's going to end this nightmare, it's going to be Naegi. He's really brave and never gives up! Ah, but don't tell him I said that, okay? He doesn't think very highly of himself."] The AI blinked, before looking a little sheepish. [Oops.]
Naegi ducked his head to conceal the way his cheeks had reddened. [It'll be our secret.]
[Of course. In any case, tell me about yourself!]
[Well…] Where to begin? [I live a pretty normal life. I've got two parents and a younger sister. I hope they're safe.]
[Ah, the standard nuclear family structure. What did you do before you came to Hope's Peak Academy?]
[The usual things you'd expect from a teenager. I played video games. Read manga. Got into a couple of scraps from time to time, but mostly kept to myself.]
[Scraps? You mean fights?]
Naegi paused, mulling over his words before carefully typing them. [I was chosen as the Ultimate Lucky Student because of my penchant for getting into troublesome situations. Whether it be accidentally tripping a gang boss on his way to meet his crew, or stumbling into a drug deal, I often found myself running into trouble.]
[Yikes!] Alter Ego's expression switched to something more sympathetic. [Forgive me for asking…but is that how you injured your eye?]
"Oh, if only we had more time together, Makoto-kun!"
He shivered. [I picked a fight with the Mastermind. Set the latest motive on fire in order to make sure no one would be motivated to kill someone else. Monokuma didn't take kindly to that.]
[My condolences.]
[Don't be sorry. It was no one's fault but mine. I knew what I was getting into.]
[You risked your life for the sake of your classmates.] The AI looked as baffled as a digital program could appear to be. [Master mentioned that most of them didn't like you…but you hurt yourself for them. Why?]
[Why not?]
[You gained nothing from this. In fact, you lost the use of your left eye. Why risk so much for people who have proved, in the past, that they would kill you to further their own goals?]
He smiled. [I just wanted to spite the Mastermind. Anything else was a bonus.]
[That's a lie.] Alter Ego's face went blank. [Or rather, that's not your only reason.]
[And what makes you think that?]
[As Master said, "Naegi-san has a particular ability to make himself sound like absolute scum. Ignore him, and press for his true motives."]
…he needed to have a talk with Fujisaki about teaching their AI the wrong things.
[I could tell you that it's because there is good and evil, and it is our responsibility to fight evil, no matter the situation. I could tell you that to stand aside is to give up, and that I refuse to give up Hope. I could tell you a thousand grandiose reasons that would make me sound like a hero, or a remotely good person.]
[But what is your Reason, Naegi-san?]
The Luckster closed his eye. The phantom sensation of a body draped over his back, a mockery of a hug. The ring, cold iron burning against his chest. The bloodstained ribbon, which somehow still held a hint of her perfume, like a memory lingering at the edge of his mind.
[Call it atonement. Call it arrogance. But this is my reason: I simply do not want to see more people die.]