Deciding where to go, after quite literally being bombed at the old base, was a lot harder under heavy duress. They fled from the base and climbed into the first vehicle at their disposal, which had not been for at least a mile off from the base. Steve didn't question it. He simply thanked Chloe and the Hive Mind for leading them to an abandoned car, hotwired it and got them going. He couldn't focus very well on the road knowing they had been only inches from death and that Seren had somehow taken the brunt of the situation — again.
Seren had stirred awake only a few minutes after leaving the base and immediately remembered what happened. Though groggy and wobbly on her feet, she wanted to make sure that everyone else was alright. Steve put a stop to it and told her that she needed to take it easy and let them figure it out.
She had not been happy with him for ten minutes straight. She felt so useless. "I'm supposed to know how to get people out of danger," she argued with him even when they were on the road again. "It's been my entire job all my life and right now you're telling me that I should back down?"
Fortunately, Steve wasn't about to let her argue her way out of resting. She could be mad at him all she wanted but he knew that she was just mad at the world instead...and with good reasons. "You're not at your best right now, so let us lead for a while, okay?" He reached for her closest hand over the armrest between them. From the corner of his eye, he saw the bitterness in her face. She was struggling to cope with the reality they were now facing.
Behind them, Natasha was vigilant looking back on the road to see if they were being followed. She had stolen a few weapons scattered with the bomb and had prepared them just in case they would need them.
Chloe was dead quiet, face blank. She was still thinking about Zola's words before they had to run. The fact she was considered an asset for HYDRA was terrifying...but it scared her more not knowing what HYDRA wanted to do with her in the first place. She heard the whispers of the Hivemind in her head. It was a mixture of English and the aliens' native language, all incomprehensible though. She rubbed circles over her temples, hoping to ease the ache that typically came with these messages.
"What are they saying now?" Natasha said, breaking through Chloe's concentration.
"Huh?" Chloe dropped her hands from her head and looked up to see everyone making eyes at her. Even Seren had peered around the passenger seat to see what was going on.
"It's them, right? The Hivemind?" Steve assumed correctly. He watched Chloe through the rear view mirror, recognizing the expressions on her face from similar moments they had over the course of the year.
"Yeah, but it's gibberish," Chloe said quickly, shrugging. "I...I can't understand what they're saying. I'm just trying to ignore them."
"Maybe that's the problem. Ignoring everything..." Seren said with an undeniable sourness in her voice. She felt Steve squeezing her hand, trying to comfort her again. "We just sat there and ignored everything," she continued. "Now people are dead and we're being hunted like criminals."
"We'll get out of this, Seren, I promise you that," Steve said, taking a brief glance at her. Seren heard his guilt and it was the only thing that would make her semi-calm down. Nothing was his fault.
"We should stop and get a phone," she said abruptly. As Steve looked at her again, she explained. "We need to start going over our options and for that, we need to know what is happening in the world. We need to see the news, any articles — is HYDRA making themselves publicly known now? Are we public criminals now? We also need to contacts." As much as it pained her, and everyone else, it was the cold truth. They were at a huge disadvantage being disconnected from the world.
"We can stop at any store," Natasha started to say, "Grab some food...a phone..."
"Yeah, with what cash?" Steve said, though as soon as he saw Natasha tilting her head at him he knew he shouldn't have asked. His lips pursed. You already stole 2 cars, what's a cellphone and food? They needed them, after all and now that he was thinking about it, Seren had not eaten anything in over a day.
Seren felt the concern coming off Steve when he glanced at her again. She sighed. She had to stop being angry; he kept thinking it was his fault. "I'm fine, Steve. We're in this together." She squeezed his hand that time and offered him a small smile.
They stopped at the first store that they thought would have what they needed. Natasha was an expert and came back to the car with their supplies. Steve had never taken off so fast, and he did so with the promise that they would return to the store when this was over and pay for what they had taken, as well as returning the phone to the person they had pick-pocketed.
Natasha was quick to go through the phone, unlocking it and entering S.H.I.E.L.D on the search bar. Luckily, it seemed like they were in the clear for now.
Seren didn't buy it for a second. She supposed it would be harder to trust anything at first glance now, at least for her. She didn't trust many things growing up and now she had to accept that the only thing she trusted completely — some would say blindly — had all been a lie. "If HYDRA's been planning something like this for ages, I'm sure they have something clever up their sleeves."
"Whatever it is, we need to find a place to lay low for a while," Chloe said. She was going through the things that Natasha had brought along and tossed a bag of mini donuts over Seren's head. The ginger startled when the packet dropped on her lap.
"Not what I call a nutritious dinner after leaving the hospital but it'll do for now," Steve said. "Eat, please."
"I will if you will." Seren ripped open the bag and pulled out a mini powdered donut.
"No, Seren, I'm not —" Steve tried moving her hand away from him. "You need to eat."
"Steve, you're enhanced, which means you really need to eat." Seren once again offered him the donut. "I won't take a bite if you don't."
Steve playfully rolled his eyes at her smirking face. "Fine." He leaned his head slightly to the side and took half a bite of the donut.
Seren beamed at her triumph then finished the rest of the donut. "Contacts," she called to the women in the back. "We need allies. Numbers against HYDRA."
"All our allies are with SHIELD," Natasha pointed out. "Or M.I.A."
"Stark's in Malibu," Chloe said. "No way he gets here in time. Clint's been M.I.A. for a few months. What about Banner?"
"Doing some deep research," Natasha said. "Thor?"
"On Asgard," Seren said. "Chloe, what about Citlalli?"
"Who's that?" Steve asked with a face.
"A good friend," Chloe replied. "She was the friend I called to help with Seren at the hospital when I had to leave."
"And why have I never heard about this friend before?" Steve looked at Chloe through the rear view mirror. He was a good listener and he would remember any friends that Chloe mentioned.
"Citlalli's kind of on the down low of things. She has connections, a lot of them," Chloe made sure to emphasize. "If there's anyone we could trust to keep us hidden, it's Citlalli."
"She's C.I.A.," Natasha cut in with a tone in her voice that implied that was a huge reason to be wary and once Steve heard, he agreed.
"She's a friend," Seren said, glancing back at Natasha. "You've met her several times, Natasha."
"I have," Natasha greed, "But on work terms. For all we know, SHIELD could have lied to any other governmental organization and they could be looking for us too."
"Not Citlalli," Chloe shook her head. "She would know that we would never do anything to be branded as fugitives of the law."
"I don't know," Steve said. "As much of a friend she is, she still has a duty to the CIA."
Seeing Chloe and Seren growing irritated, Natasha came up with an alternative. "Look, why don't we leave Del Rio as our last resort?"
"Fine, but what do we do right now?" Seren asked. "My grandmother has plenty of safe houses but it'll be hard to contact her. I'm sure by now she's thrown away all cellphones. And so have we."
"Atria has safe houses and you don't know the location of a single one?" Natasha let out a snort. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
"Stop it," went Steve. Seren was on the tip of cracking already and any comments like that were just...unnecessary right now.
"Well, we need to stop and rest," Chloe said, getting them back on track. "So, if not Citlalli, where do we go?"
Things were quiet for a while they drove. It seemed like none of them had any better idea about where to stop...until Steve thought of one other person who might be willing to help them out and better yet someone who would believe their innocence.
~ 0 ~
The Winter Soldier didn't make house calls, nor did he answer to them. His missions were getting stranger by the day and that itself was alarming. But who was he to complain? He wasn't in charge. He was just one of HYDRA's many assets.
He sat at a plain old kitchen table like any other visitor would, except he was in total darkness. He was no stranger to that. He was a shadow, of course. Always lurking in the night, doing the jobs that nobody would else.
Alexander Pierce was punctual as he returned home and quickly sent his housekeeper away. "Want some milk?" He made way to the fridge but didn't miss the gun lying in the middle of the table. "The timetable has moved. Our window is limited. Three of four targets, Level Six." He sat down at the table with a glass of cold milk. "They already cost me Zola. I want confirmed death in ten hours." He drank from his glass then set it down, thinking silently for a minute or two. "I think the time has come to collect the girl." Pierce pointed a sharp finger at the man across him. "Not to be harmed; I want her alive. Zola's gone but the Hive Mind inside that girl's head might be able to make a decent replacement...once HYDRA steps in to finish what we had to pause."
The darkness hid the Winter Soldier's (first) real reaction to the assignment. He never thought the day would come where the girl with the blue flaming eyes would become special enough to warrant HYDRA's extraction. What a cursed day — for her.
~ 0 ~
The last thing Sam Wilson expected on that fine morning day was to run in with a few familiar faces — or rather said faces run into him.
"Hey man, I'm sorry about this. We need a place to lay low," Steve said, his expression (and state) summing it up for Sam. He held Seren tightly by his side, the latter looking quite exhausted. Beside them was Natasha who couldn't look anymore disheveled and then there was Chloe...who looked absolutely terrified.
"Everyone we know is trying to kill us," Chloe's voice shook. Sam's look became knowing as his conversation with Chloe popped into his head. Chloe didn't need the Hive Mind to know that he knew. "I'm sorry."
"Nah, don't be. Come in." He quickly opened the door for all of them and ushered them inside. As he closed the door behind them, he took a quick scan around outside to make sure they were safe.
The first thing Sam did was offer them a place to get cleaned up. He wouldn't outright say it but they all needed a good wash. Seren made Natasha go first, even if it was just for a quick face wash, and there was no arguing with her anymore. She warned Steve that she was done taking the backseat in their little quest to clear their names.
"But—"
"No more," Seren said with an absolute finality that no one, not even the enhanced Steve Rogers, would dare to argue against. She looked at Sam with a completely different face — a kinder one — and politely asked him if she could borrow his television.
"Of course," Sam told her and showed her to the living room. "What, uh, what exactly are we doing now?"
"Making sure we're off the news," Seren said, finding the remote quickly and turning the screen on.
Chloe felt awful as it was and seeing the strife she was causing between Seren and Steve just made her feel worse (something she didn't know was even possible). She watched Steve leave to, according to him, do a brief perimeter check around the place. With any hope, they would be able to hide for a decent while.
"You really shouldn't be mad at him, Seren," Chloe said as she approached Seren. The latter was standing only a few inches from the t.v., with Sam right behind her. "He's just trying to—"
"Keep me safe, I know," Seren said. "I'm not mad at him. I'm just done 'taking it easy'."
"Weren't you in the hospital or something?" Sam suddenly asked, drawing Seren's glare over her shoulder. He raised his hands in front of him. "Hey, Chloe kept me updated."
"She was poisoned with cyanide," Chloe said.
"A lethal poison for humans," Seren said, flipping through channels like crazy. So far, the news seemed relatively normal. "My body has already metabolized it. I could make this whole house explode if I wanted to."
"That's great — but don't?" Sam smiled sarcastically.
Seren sighed. "I'm just picking up where you guys left off, alright? I'm fine. Let me do my job. There's not much I can do so, please just..." She waved Chloe and Sam off, making it clear she would rather be alone than deal with them.
Sam understood the gist and quietly pulled Chloe with him into the kitchen. "She's...less lovelier than I remembered," Sam mumbled.
"She's mad," Chloe said, "But...she's a good person, I swear."
"Well, so are you," Sam turned around to face her, crossing his arms, "So you want to tell me what's really going on? Before my house explodes?"
Chloe nodded. If he was going to help them hide, he deserved to know the truth.
~ 0 ~
Steve felt like he'd pretty much done what he could to keep the group safe for a while. Sam's house seemed to be perfectly normal, both inside and outside, at least for the time being. He was in desperate need of a change and a wash but he kept seeing Seren in the living room, glued to the television for any minuscule report on them, on her family, on her team...
He couldn't get her to leave; she was too upset and even though she swore it wasn't at him...it kind of felt like it was. The idea that she was angry at him hurt way too much to be able to stay in the same room with her. He peered inside the kitchen and saw Sam was tending to Chloe. She was doing no better. He soon went into the hallway and gave a gentle knock on the door of Sam's bedroom. Natasha had been gone for a quite while and knowing her, she wouldn't be the type to vent like Chloe or be angry like Seren.
Natasha opened up quickly and told him that he could go next. On her way past him, he grabbed hold of her arm and asked her again if she was alright.
"Yeah," she said dismissively.
Steve squeezed her arm. "I already got one lying redhead in the other room. Please don't do this to me."
Natasha cracked half a smirk at him. "What, did you think it'd be all rainbows and sunshine with Seren? She's a tough cookie, that one."
"Natasha." Steve deadpanned her.
Natasha rolled her eyes but when Steve heard her quiet sigh, he knew she would take pity on him and just tell the truth. "When I first joined SHIELD, I thought I was going straight. I met Seren. She was a good Agent and after a while, I thought I was too. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but...I guess I can't tell the difference anymore."
"There's a chance you might be in the wrong business," Steve cleverly said, making her faintly smile.
"I owe you," she admitted. It wasn't often she could leave her life in the hands of someone else and even when she had to, she didn't necessarily trust them completely. Even with the terse relationship, she knew that she could trust Steve with her life. "If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?"
"I would now," Steve said without thinking about it. "And I'm always honest." He was absolutely certain about it and that alone was a twist. Whatever happened with S.H.I.E.L.D. in the end, he would at least walk out with people who mattered.
Natasha took his answer to heart. "Well, you seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out they died for nothing."
Steve was so close to saying 'not entirely for nothing'. It was surprising to him and yet a good feeling. He would be angry at the world and even though he was a tad upset, he didn't feel like he lost everything. That was a new thing for him; he would run with it. "Well, I guess I just like to know who I'm fighting."
"Hm," Natasha could only wonder why he spent minutes in silence. "You know the fight's not over. Before you get to HYDRA, you have to get through Stardust." She patted his shoulder. "Good luck."
It was Steve's turn to roll his eyes. "I'm going to lose a limb. She's so angry."
"Yeah, but not at you," Natasha crossed her arms. Steve's swayed his head, no more sure of that than he was about the good people left in S.H.I.E.L.D. "Hey," Natasha snapped her fingers in front of his face. "The two years you spent hurting are the same years she spent doing the same think about you. You really think she's going to forget all about it just because of this?"
"'Just because of this' happens to be about the place she has worked her entire life, the place she devoted her life to."
"So it carries weight, big deal," shrugged Natasha. "But it's not about you. She told you that and, just like you, Seren's always honest."
Steve couldn't argue with the last part. "I'll...I'll have to fight her just to get her to care of herself, won't I?"
"Oh yeah," Natasha nodded. "Once again, I wish you good luck."
Steve took a deep breath as Natasha left him in the room. After a few minutes, he left the room as well with as much as courage as he could and headed straight into the hallway. He could hear the t.v. still going and when he reached the living room, Seren was right where he left her earlier, still flipping through channels.
He was a man with a plan and before he saw literal stars, he plucked the control out of Seren's hands.
"Hey—!" Seren did one hop before Steve picked her up by the legs and threw her over his shoulder. "HEY!" Seren exclaimed.
Steve tossed the control to the couch and tightened his grip around Seren's back. He heard Natasha's laugh and thought that would definitely help ease Seren up.
"Put me down!" Seren started to yell so Steve headed straight into the hallway. "I swear to God that I'll—"
"If you hurt me, you'd be hurting an innocent life, Agent Soul," he said so casually that it actually made her snort.
"Don't flatter yourself, Rogers! Put me the hell down!"
"Make me."
"Oh, I will!" Seren's hands powered up with star matter but of course as she brought her hands closer to his back, she knew she wouldn't actually do it. She groaned. "I really hate you!"
"That doesn't sound like you're 'making me' do anything." Steve smirked to himself as she started hitting his back with her bare hands. "Is that a massage?"
"Since when the hell did you get so cheeky you little—"
"Watch your language there, ma'am." He pushed open the bedroom door and kicked it shut with his foot. He then set Seren down on her feet and barely held his laugh when she stumbled back.
Even more angry, she went to push him. Steve stumbled a few steps back, but it did nothing to help him not laugh. Seren had never been angry with him and even now, he knew that she wasn't. She was terrible at letting her anger out properly, just like him. They were too alike in many aspects.
Meanwhile, Seren was absolutely incredulous with his reaction. Why was he laughing? Of all the ways to feel, he was laughing? "Have I been out of the dating pool so long that they changed the way relationships work? Or are you just that foul, Steve?"
"I think you're just funny, sweetheart," he answered honestly. He stepped closer to her and slid his hands over her cheeks, tilting her head up at him. "And I needed you to take care of yourself."
"I'm doing fine, thanks," Seren said bitterly.
"I don't think that you are. In fact, I think you're not doing all that fine."
"I'm—"
"It's a safe space here, Seren, I promise. You don't have to keep it all in anymore."
The anger that was so evident in Seren's face faltered for a second. It was easier being angry and yelling and pushing than facing the truth in front of her. Leave it to Steve to see right through her.
She raised one of her hands, bringing it over one of Steve's resting against her cheek. It felt like forever ago that they had been together in his apartment...
She dropped her hand on her side and leaned up on her toes to reach his lips. She needed to remember Steve, the way his lips tasted, and most of all the way he would hold her because she'd almost lost him in a blink of an eye.
It took Steve a few seconds to realize that he was feeling Seren's tears pressed between their faces. He pulled back from her, his thumbs clearing up the tears on her cheeks. "Hey, hey...I didn't want you to cry...I'm sorry."
"No," Seren shook her head, sniffling. "It's not your fault." She gently nudged his hands away from her face and sat down on the foot of the bed. "You're right. I'm not fine. I'm—" She let out a shaky breath as the threat of a sob looked over her. "It was all a lie. Everything was a-a lie." Steve took a seat beside her on the bed. "All my work, everything I did...it's all now under question. Did I do the mission for S.H.I.E.L.D.? Or for HYDRA?" It killed her that she would never know the answer.
"I know, Seren, I know..." Steve took one of her hands and laced his fingers with hers. He had to ask himself the same question now. All the missions he did for S.H.I.E.L.D. in these past 2 years were shady as it was, but now he too wondered which ones had been for actual good.
"Nine years old. I was nine years old when they recruited me and...this whole time they were lying to us," Seren bit on her bottom lip hard enough to feel the taste of blood. She couldn't stop herself anymore and sobbed. "My whole life I've been working for the devil itself!"
Steve would have told her to stop, that it was okay, but it wasn't that easy. He felt like she needed to cry it all out to truly accept what happened. He shifted his body, reaching for her when she threw her arms around him. She'd apologize to Sam later for bringing her feet on the bed. Right now, she needed Steve and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Everything around them was crumbling down and it terrified her to think that the little happiness she had left would also disappear.
"You're not a lie, are you?" Her question was muffled in Steve's shirt, but he still managed to hear it perfectly.
To anyone else, the question would've seemed offensive. Steve had made it very clear to her that he loved her but right now, with everything that was going on, she had to make sure that they were real. That HYDRA had not ruined it too.
Steve didn't feel any of the sort. He heard the heavy fear lacing her words and from the way she clung to him. He held Seren tightly, kissing her hair. "I'm real, honey, and so are we. And I swear to you that nobody — nothing — is going to take it away from us." He felt her nod in his arms.
They stayed together like that for several minutes. The silence between them was the comfort they needed right now. True to Seren's word, it did feel like it had been ages since they were together in his apartment. He wished they could go back to that moment of bliss. He'd love to see her smiling and laughing again. Instead, he was waiting for her to stop crying so he could help her clean herself up after being bombed.
"Steve, I know I smell like a combimation of hospital and bombs, but I...we gotta get to work," Seren said, albeit her argument was given very weakly. It reminded Steve of the fact that she had not eaten properly at all since before the hospital.
He helped her stand up, ignoring her 'I can stand up on my own' comments. "Why is it so hard to let others help you, huh?" With her hand in his, he led her a few steps away from the bed.
"I don't know, because I'm not used to it?" Seren shrugged. "I'm Stardust. I'm super strong, I can fly, I can weild the stars themselves. I don't need help, I help others. That's the way it's always been."
"Everyone needs help some times," Steve said. "And trust me, I learned the hard way too. You can be enhanced, or just have some off-world perks..." He loved that tiny little smile that appeared on her face, even if it was just for a second, "But you'll still need help once in a while. Please, let me be the one to help you."
Seren gave him a nod. "I can't think of anyone else better for the job."
Steve smiled and, just as Seren saw his 'idea' face (which was really just a crooked smirk on his face), he slid his arms around her and picked her up. She laughed with his hug that seemed more like a bear hug.
"What are you doing?" She didn't mind the hug, of course. She wouldn't mind any hugs he gave her.
"Just making sure my girl's all cared for." Steve turned them around and headed for the bathroom. He planted her on the bathroom counter so easily, like she was a feather.
"You sure know how to make me feel special," Seren remarked with a clear pink tint on her cheeks.
Steve helped her come out of the jacket she was wearing. He wanted to be as careful as possible. She wore a short sleeve underneath and that was where Steve could see more dirt and old cuts.
"I'm fine," Seren assured him. "It's all healing."
He pulled the collar of her shirt and saw that even her star birthmark on the side of her neck had been harmed. There was a straight cut going through the middle of it. He could only imagine what underneath looked like.
"You don't have to—"
Steve shook his head and went to the cabinet under the sink to grab a rag. He wet it a bit to use. "Seren, I need to know that you're okay and if you're not okay, then I need to help you get there."
"I just don't want you to freak out," Seren said, "Because I am healing. It's just taking a little longer because I haven't been eating right."
Steve tried to remember that when he helped her pull her shirt off, leaving her in just her bra. There were more cuts and some bruises, as he predicted. It made him feel useless, incompetent. He was supposed to protect her and...he had been failing so miserably.
"It honestly isn't that bad," Seren continued to say. "It doesn't hurt, I swear to you. I don't lie to you, right?"
Steve's eyes flickered up to hers. "You were in a hospital, Seren. Poisoned."
"Yes, I know the story. And I got out."
"Because we took you out."
"You had to get me out of there," Seren argued. "If you were on the run, the first person they would come to would be me."
"You know, they might have left you alone if I hadn't taken you out of the hospital. Same with Natasha." Steve began to gently dab the rag on her arms. He was extra cautious when he came over the cuts.
"And you think that I'd let you leave without me?" Seren raised an eyebrow at him. "I left you 2 years ago and it didn't exactly work out for me. Besides, they might've killed me on the spot. I was already weak and if they've been wanting to cut off potential threats, don't you think Stardust would be on that list?"
"You're one of their strongest assets. They would be idiots to want to get rid of you. They are." He heard her soft shudder when he moved the rag down her stomach. "Sorry," he mumbled to her.
"It's okay," Seren promised him. "And they might as well let them come against me."
"Don't say that, please." He was extra careful around her neck, making sure he didn't apply any pressure to her birthmark.
"Why? It's the truth. If they're coming for me because I aligned myself with you, then they can," Seren shrugged. "Because I'll always be on your side." She closed her eyes as he moved the rag to her face. "No matter what." With her eyes closed, she missed the tender look Steve was giving her. He absolutely adored her and her unwavering loyalty to him.
He finished cleaning her up in a few more minutes and helped her put her shirt back on. He wanted her to wear her jacket but she insisted that she was fine without it now.
"Thank you, lovey," Seren patted her cleaned cheeks. "It does feel nice looking more like myself now."
"Least I can do after everything..." Steve said, leaving the rag beside her on the counter.
"Thanks for pulling me out of that rubble too," Seren said when she remembered the fact.
"After putting you in it?"
She playfully rolled her eyes at him. "Thank you," she reiterated, leaving no room for further discussion about it. She leaned forward to capture his lips in a short kiss. "Now it's your turn," she murmured against his lips.
"My turn?" Steve repeated, confused.
Seren nodded. She grabbed the rag and dropped it into the sink and reached for the faucet to turn it on. "You've been suffering as much as we have. It's my turn to help you." She let the rag rinse out and then turned the water off and squeezed the rag of any excess. She then looked at Steve in front of her and waved a finger at him. "Jacket off, please."
"What?"
"What, you want me to be more blunt?" Seren raised an eyebrow at him then started to smirk. "Take your shirt off, now."
Despite rolling his eyes at her, she saw the faint blush on his face. She wasn't at all shy to help him out and laughed as his blush only grew stronger. He was left in a tank top and she doubted that she would be able to convince him of anything else. "Have I ever said I love your arms?"
"That...hasn't come up…" he cleared his throat, making
"Well, now it has," she looked at him from under her big eyelashes. "That make you uncomfortable?"
"No," he answered honestly. Her smile made it so that everything around him was just that: comfortable. He spent the next minute or so looking at her while she rubbed the dirt off his skin.
"Steve, how are you?" She eventually asked. She expected his confusion again; it was very like him to avoid his own pain for the sake of helping others. "You let me talk and cry all I wanted. Let me do the same for you. How are you?"
"Well," he bobbed his head slightly, "I won't lie, it hasn't been one of my best days."
She snorted. "Okay. Let's try not to be funny right now. You never trusted S.H.I.E.L.D. to begin with...and now it looks like you were right not to."
"It wasn't that I didn't trust everyone, I just didn't always agree with them," he paused, "And to be honest, I don't really know what I would've done if I hadn't joined anyways. It's all I know."
"You could've been whatever you wanted to be, still can. I know our world hasn't been kind to you — it made you feel like you had to die so we could be safe — and I'm so sorry."
Steve shook his head and grabbed her wrist holding the rag. "Seren, you don't have to apologize."
"Someone has to," Seren said simply. She slid her wrist out of his grip and continued to clean him up. "You thought that you had to let yourself die to finally put an end to HYDRA and keep everyone safe. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like learning the truth. I'm sorry, lovey. I really am. I'd do anything to change the truth for you."
It was oddly easy to smile at that moment. There were many feelings that Steve couldn't work through but when he looked at Seren, whose usual sparkly features were currently grim for him. She cared for him to the point she would take on guilt for something that happened to him and yet had nothing to do with her...and she would willingly change his past for his sake.
"I wish I had better words for you," Seren sighed. "Sometimes I'm more alien than human."
Steve ducked his head to catch her lips. "I think you're doing just fine," he whispered. He passed a hand through her hair, matching her smile with his own.
"You can tell me exactly how you're feeling," Seren said. "Because with everything...you have to be feeling something. Visiting the base where you first started out...and then getting bombed in it?"
"I..." Steve let out a big breath. He had not allowed himself to think about that stuff. "I'm...I'm not really used to talking about it. I think the only person I ever talked about it with was you." Even before he started looking at Seren in a different way, she had weaved herself into his life in the most important ways. She had a touch about her that just made him feel so comfortable and secure.
"I know," Seren nodded. "So, I'm here. And I'm done." She tossed the rag back to the sink. She grabbed his shirt and handed it to him.
"It hasn't...it hasn't been just about this," Steve admitted as he slipped his shirt back on. "My missions in the past...sometimes I feel like I'm not here but back in the war. The bomb that went off...it reminded me of the first time I heard one was going to go off. It was fake — a test — and I was the only one out of the whole group who jumped on it to keep it from hurting anyone else."
"Mm," Seren hummed. She could see that perfectly in her head. "And fast forward to today, or last night, where you protected people from it."
"I'd do it again," Steve said, making her chuckle.
"Oh, I know. I think that's why HYDRA is so damn scared of you. Because you won't quit."
"I won't," said Steve adamantly. "They got away from me the first time and it cost me everything. I'm not going to let them do it again."
Seren cupped his face and promised him that she would help him however she could. "It'll be different this time."
"It will," he agreed, taking her hands into his, "Because I have my lucky star with me. My shining star." And he would place all his faith in that because it was truly what kept him standing in these moments.
A/N:
An interlude with a much needed break for these guys! They're so sweet and agh **insert heart emojis**. Finally had the time to write/edit this chapter. It is the start of thanksgiving break and I couldn't be happier for some rest. Work's been very stressful lately! So if I don't edit this week (as I have family visiting), have a wonderful thanksgiving (if you celebrate, of course ;).
Also, I don't know if fanfic finally got tired of all the complaints but I'm starting to get some old notifications of peoples' follows/favorites. I'm hoping it's the beginning of notifications starting to get back to normal.
P.S. As always, I have an AO3/Wattpad account under "noblecrescent" and a tumblr account under "saiilorstars" if you'd like to follow :)