"I just...I really thought..."
"It's okay, Kate," Rick says softly. He bends at his knees to be at the same eye level as his wife. Kate is hunched over on the toilet holding her face in her hands. She's not crying, but the frustration and sadness is visible as she tosses the negative pregnancy test into the trash. "The doc said it would take a few months for your body to get back on track. That's probably why you're late."
"Yeah. I just had it in my head that since it happened once, it would just happen again. So stupid," Kate sighs.
"Hey, no way. Look at me," Rick says, pulling Kate's chin up. He kisses her softly and whispers. "Not stupid." He stands up and holds out his arms. "Come here," he beckons. Kate looks up and the sadness on her face melts a little. She gets to her feet and walks into his embrace. "We'll just keep trying." She nods in agreement with her head still buried in his chest.
"I was thinking it would be nice to get out of the city for a few days," Rick says. "Want to see if Ruby wants to go to the Hamptons?"
"You just got back to the city last night huh," Kate points out.
"This is true," Rick shrugs. "Guess I was just looking for an excuse to see you in a swimsuit, but I suppose we can just hang out here fully-clothed."
Kate laughs. "Perv," she jokes. "I'd love to go. Let's go see if Ruby's awake yet."
"Geez, finally," Ruby says loudly when Rick and Kate emerge from the bedroom.
"I guess she's awake," Kate says quietly but not so quiet that Ruby wouldn't hear.
"Have been for a while," Ruby groans. "I've been waiting for you guys for like an hour."
"You could've knocked," Rick points out.
"I didn't want to interrupt whatever you guys were doing," Ruby says.
"Sleeping?" Kate chuckles.
"Sure," Ruby says. "Anyway, could one of you make pancakes...please?"
"I will make pancakes," Rick volunteers.
"I'll get the coffee," Kate says as they walk behind the kitchen counters and get started on breakfast.
After Rick brings up the potential trip to the Hamptons, it takes Ruby all of three seconds to enthusiastically agree.
"I can pack right now and I'll be ready to leave in like 20 minutes," she says.
"Hit the breaks, speed racer," Rick says. "Gotta finish breakfast first."
"And help with the dishes," Kate adds.
"And then we can go?" Ruby confirms.
"And then we can go," Kate smiles.
"Oh, I gotta call Aunt Michelle and thank her for the stuff, too," Ruby adds.
Rick looks into the living room and fully notices for the first time just how much stuff Ruby's aunt had sent for the library at the hospital.
"We should probably go and drop that all off before we leave, too, huh?" Rick suggests.
Ruby nods in agreement before dialing her aunt's number and holding the phone to her ear. While Ruby thanks Michelle for the package, Kate and Rick clear the kitchen table and discuss whether or not they were going to be gone long enough that they should clear out the fridge.
"Yeah, you guys should come," Ruby says, catching the couple's attention. "Do you guys have plans this weekend?"
Both Kate and Rick snap their gaze back toward their daughter with their what the fuck faces on.
"Well I'll have Kate text you," Ruby says. "Okay, yeah, see you soon, hopefully. Bye."
Ruby hangs up and then glances over to her parents with an innocent smirk. "Oops," she shrugs.
"Are we hosting a party at the Hamptons house now?" Rick asks.
"Well, I definitely should have asked first," Ruby admits. "It's just Michelle and Clare, though, probably. She said that Dan has a baseball tournament this weekend."
"Okay, and what is it that I should be texting Michelle?" Kate asks sternly.
"If they should actually come," Ruby says. "I think she realized I didn't ask you guys."
"Moms tend to know those things," Rick chuckles. "A pool party does sound like a nice idea, though."
"Rick..." Kate whispers.
"Is the weather even gonna be good? It would suck to drive there just for it to rain the whole time," Ruby asks.
"Forecast looks clear," Rick confirms.
He glances over at Kate, who lets out a big sigh. "Alright, who should we all invite for this pool party, then?"
It was Saturday morning in the Hamptons and the weekend pool party at the Castle residence was officially a thing. As Rick and Kate sipped their morning coffees on the patio deck, they listed out the last minute tasks that needed to be completed before the afternoon cookout. Michelle and Clare, a few of Ruby's school friends and the Castle extended family would all be arriving around noon for a fun day at the Hamptons house. Though the estimated time of arrival of their guests wasn't for a few hours still, the party host was noticeably missing from the party planning committee.
"It's almost ten," Kate says after glancing at her watch. "Think I should go check on Ruby?"
"Probably should," Rick agrees. "I'll get dressed so I can head down to pick up the burgers and hot dogs for lunch." He stands up and grabs his and Kate's mugs, plants a kiss on his wife's forehead as he walks inside. After a brief moment of serenity alone on the patio, Kate goes upstairs to wake Ruby.
"Hey, Rubes," Kate says as she knocks softly.
"Yeah?" Ruby responds sleepily.
"It's almost 10, just wanted to make sure you're awake and feeling okay for the party later," Kate explains through the door.
"Yeah, I'm good," Ruby says with a twinge of hesitation. "I'll be down in a few minutes."
Kate is a bit wary, but heads downstairs and starts cleaning the dishes in the sink from breakfast. She hears footsteps above her and pattering down the stairs before Ruby appears in the kitchen.
"Hey, kid," Kate smiles. As Ruby sits down at the island bar, Kate looks up and immediately notices something different about her daughter. "You're sure you're doing okay?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"You're looking a bit jaundiced," Kate points out. "Not bad, but more than usual."
"No, I mean, I'm feeling normal," Ruby shrugs. "Guess we'll just have to watch it."
Kate nods. "What can I get you for breakfast?"
Ruby contemplates. "Maybe just some fruit and toast?"
"Sure thing," Kate says. "You're sure you're okay? You do look a bit tired, too."
"I am a little tired," Ruby admits. "But I'm excited for later."
"Okay," Kate says. "Just try to stay in the shade and don't over do it, okay?"
"I won't over do it," Ruby promises. "Is it supposed to be really hot today?"
"No, actually, mid-70s. Cooler than it's been all week," Kate says. "So that should help you from getting too warn out."
"Okay, good," Ruby nods as she bites into her toast. After she finishes her breakfast, Ruby cleans up her plate and grabs the bottle of sunscreen that is sitting on the shelf next to the sliding patio doors.
"Can you help me put this on?" She asks as she peels off her t-shirt revealing the cute swimsuit she has on under her clothes.
"This is a really cute suit on you," Kate says as she squirts lotion into her hands and starts rubbing it into Ruby's shoulders and back. As she rubs it between the exposed skin on below the shoulder blades, Ruby's back muscles seize up at Kate's touch.
"You okay?" Kate says as she pulls her hand back.
"Yeah. It's just...cold," Ruby lies.
"Okaayy," Kate says, trying to believe her. "I'm almost done."
After Ruby's sunscreen is thoroughly applied, she and Kate get to work setting up the patio space for their guests, pulling out the extra deck chairs and toys and floaties for the pool.
"So, are all the kids coming for sure?" Ruby asks to confirm.
"Yes, Jenny texted last night that Sarah Grace and Nicky are both coming," Kate tells her.
"Yay, okay! It'll be so fun playing with the baby," Ruby smiles.
"Well he's two, so not exactly a baby," Kate laughs. "But you'll get to meet my cousin Sofia's daughter Caroline. She's actually a baby."
"Really?"
"Yep, she was born in April, so she's a baby-baby," Kate adds.
"Wow. I don't think I've ever met a baby that young," Ruby says. "And Michelle and Clare are coming?"
"Yep," Kate confirms. "They left pretty early this morning so they'll be here soon."
"Okay," Ruby nods. "It'll be fun to see Clare."
"Yeah? I'll glad you're looking forward to seeing her. I didn't think you two really got along," Kate admits.
"Well, I don't think we were very good roommates," Ruby laughs. "But she's still fun to hang out with every once in a while."
"Hey, I'm fun to hang out with all the time!" Rick exclaims as he steps onto the deck with brown paper grocery bags in his arms.
"Sure," Ruby says sarcastically.
Just after Noon, guests started to arrive. Well, sort of. Hayley was the first to arrive with Alexis, Martha, and Jim following shortly behind. Then it was Ruby's school friends Brynn and Franny and their parents and siblings, Michelle and Clare, and Lanie and Espo. Not surprisingly, those traveling with young children were the last to arrive. Kate's cousin Sofia, with her husband and baby Caroline, arrived just before 1PM, with the Ryans pulling up to the house at 1:15.
Everyone chowed down on the burgers and hot dogs that Castle had grilled up and sipped on their drinks while the kids rotated between jumping in the pool and doting on the baby and the toddler. After slipping into her swimsuit, Kate took her turn with the baby, admiring how much Caroline resembled her mom even though she was so little. It was a short lived serotonin boost, though, as the waves of grief hit her like a tsunami. She excuses herself and steps inside for a breather. After some time alone, Michelle steps inside to "refresh her drink".
"Hey, Kate," she says kindly. "I just wanted to thank you again for inviting us. We're having a great time."
"I'm glad you and Clare were able to make it," Kate says, trying to smile.
"Look, I know this isn't my place, but I wanted to see how you're doing," Michelle says directly.
"Uh, I'm doing okay," Kate says.
"I just know how hard it was for me to be around kids, especially babies, after my miscarriage," Michelle says.
"Caroline is really cute, but, yeah, that was harder than I thought it was going to be," Kate sighs. "I am so sorry. Uh, when...?"
"Oh, it was before Dan," Michelle says. "My first pregnancy, actually."
"Yeah," Kate gulps. "Mine, too."
"I know it probably feels weird to talk about, so I won't keep talking about it," Michelle says. "I just wanted you to know that you're not alone."
A stray tear falls down Kate's cheek at that sentiment. As much as she realized that pregnancy loss was fairly common, she did still feel utterly alone at times.
"Uh, thank you," Kate nods. "Seriously." She smiles at Michelle who gives a knowing nod. After grabbing a Fresca, Michelle heads back outside to let Kate process her feelings privately. She takes a few deep breaths and breathes in the quiet before stepping back out to the patio and the raucousness of the party.
She slides into the pool next to Rick and watches from the shallow end as Espo tosses a nerf football to the kids as they take turns jumping into the deep end. Ruby doesn't take a turn, but she's sitting in the shade with her feet dipped in the warm water with a huge smile on her face.
"Hey," Rick says quickly as he lands a kiss on Kate's neck. "You having fun?"
Kate nods. She really was, having fun, but she was also struggling.
"Good," Rick smiles. "Looks like Espo's having a good time, too."
That much was clear. Uncle Javi was just as much of a kid as the rest of them, a beaming grin on his face every time one of the kids belly flopped into the water.
"Yeah, he's enjoying those funny landings a little too much," Kate laughs.
"Well, everyone is having a good time, so what do you say we slip away for a bit?" Rick suggests.
Kate raises her brow in curiosity, but she gladly follows him as he steps out of the pool and walks around the corner to the hot tub. Even in the middle of hosting a party, Rick always finds a way to make Kate feel like she's the only person in the world.
"You know, this feels like a very elaborate way to get me in a swimsuit," Kate whispers. "All you had to do was ask."
"Well, that is...good to know," Rick replies with a hitch in his voice.
"Ruby's really happy, though," Kate says. "I'm glad she was feeling good enough."
"She's looking a little more jaundiced today," Rick observes.
"Yeah, I noticed that too," Kate sighs. "Hopefully just a side effect of the treatment."
That was when Lanie appeared around the corner. "Hey, guys. I hate to interrupt, but is it okay if I hop in? There's something I wanted to talk about."
"Of course, Lane," Kate smiles. "What's up?"
"Well, um," Lanie hesitates. "I don't mean to overstep here, but I noticed something about Ruby and...I hate to say this, but it could be a really bad sign."