And so begins Kieran's memory arc. Kieran goes on a journey where he witnesses his own memories unfold and reflecting on them.
Darkness turned to light. Kieran opened his eyes to a white space. "Huh?" He stood up in confusion as he looked around. "Where am I? Juliana? Carmine? Ms. Briar? Where are you guys?" He tried calling but to no avail. Suddenly the white space shifted into a familiar setting. He found himself in a snow filled area with snowy mountains and battlefield close by.
"Hold on…" Kieran realized something, "This is the polar biome inside the Terarium!" He was confused. Wasn't he in the underdepths? Why was he here at Blueberry Academy? He decided to go to the battlefield to investigate. He arrived at the battlefield to find two trainers and two pokemon. He gasped in shock at who they were.
It was…
"Drayton?!" and his fallen Archaludon on one side of the battlefield.
On the other side was…
"Hydrapple?" A pokemon Kieran recognized as his own, still standing. He looked up to see who the trainer was. Sure, enough it was…
"It's me?!"
Him. Kieran was looking at himself. That's when it hit him. "These are my memories. But why?" He asked himself. He took a closer look at himself. "Wowzers… how long have my eyes looked like that?" Kieran acted surprised seeing his own eyes. They looked dull and had dark bags underneath. "When was the last time I slept?"
Drayton returned his Archaludon back into his pokeball and walked towards the center of the field. Kieran did the same with his Hydrapple and walked to the center as well.
"You won again. Congrats Champ." Drayton congratulated.
"Thanks. Too bad you lost though." Kieran said no emotion.
Kieran was taken aback a bit by his past self. How could he say something like that? "Oh… that was… kind of harsh…"
"Hey now…" Drayton got annoyed and started to lecture, "Is that any way to talk to a fellow league club member and member of the BB Elite four?"
"Whatever. I've got training to do…" Kieran said coldly and started to walk away. He purposely bumped Drayton before pausing, "Maybe you wouldn't lose to me so much if you worked as hard as I did, but then again, you got held back in school for 3 years. I doubt that'll happen…" He finished talking and left the battlefield.
Drayton did not like what Kieran said, but he didn't say anything. He darted his eyes at the BB league champion and clenched his fists, almost like he wanted to punch him to get back at him, even though he knew that wouldn't make things better.
Kieran was stunned at himself. Questions ran through his head. Oh man, did I really mean all those things I said to him? I mean I know I said it, but was that necessary? I know Drayton and I aren't exactly buddies, but he didn't deserve that. Doesn't feel right now that I've seen it. He knew those words that came out of his mouth were harsh, vile even. He didn't like that he used Drayton's flaws against him, and yet he saw himself do it anyway as if it were nothing. He felt bad. That being said, he never really thought about how cruel he acted or how it would affect Drayton.
All of the sudden, the space around him shifted again. This time he was in a room with two sofas, a computer, and a table full of half-eaten candy bars. "The League Club room?" Kieran recognized. That's when he heard a voice in a rude tone.
"What do you two want?! I have to get back to training!"
Kieran swore he heard his own voice.
"Kieran, we need to discuss some league club matters."
He heard another voice. This time a female. Kieran looked around to find himself talking to two girls and recognized them almost instantly. "Lacey and Amarys?" He then realized the voice belonged to the former. Looks like another memory of his was about to unfold.
"What is there to talk about Lacey?!" Kieran asked her, annoyed. "I've already written the rules for the members to follow! Didn't think it would be that hard to train pokemon to get stronger."
"I'm talking about the new members who recently joined our club. We all have our responsibilities to teach and train them. And here you are worrying about yourself!" Lacey mentioned and called out.
Bugged, Kieran sighed with extreme annoyance. "Can't you guys train them?! I'm behind schedule on my own training! I have to get stronger!"
"You have been saying that for the past week." Amarys pointed out.
"And your point Amarys?" Kieran's nerves started to creep up with eye twitches.
Like in his memory with Drayton, Kieran was put off by his past self's bad attitude towards the girls. It was just a simple favor, but he wasn't having it. "I mean, it's good to help people…"
Amarys continued, "It's not just about you, Kieran. As president, you have responsibilities to guide the new members too. It can't be just us all the-"
X
The girls gasped and flinched. They took a couple of steps back.
Kieran flinched too.
Kieran crossed his hands into an X, just like Lacey would do when calling somebody out. He sadistically smirked at the girls. "I figured that got you two to be quiet." He calmly set his hands down.
Did he just do that to them? "Aw come on, me! That wasn't very nice."
The girls gave up at that point as Lacey sighed in defeat. "Message received. We'll train the new members. We can end the discussion here."
Kieran sinisterly smiled in satisfaction. "Glad you understand. Now if you excuse me, I have to go train some more." Just like with Drayton, he just coldly walked out of the league club room, leaving the girls speechless.
Lacey… Amarys… Kieran was left speechless too. Making them do all the work? How could I lose it like that? They were just asking me to help out, but I only thought about myself… How did he let his temper get the better of him, indeed. Like before, he felt remorseful for that memory happening, but again, he didn't take the time to reflect on how his selfish actions affected the girls until now. They asked him for a simple favor, and he brushed them off, only caring about himself.
For the third time, the space surrounding Kieran shifted. "Oh, here we go again…"
Now he was in what looked like a dorm room. There was a little kitchen with a burner and microwave; a sink full of empty ramune (soda) bottles; and a counter with two boxes of chocolate; a bunch of empty wrappers spread all over to add to that.
"Hold on…" Kieran had a hunch of where he was but decided to investigate some more. He found a bed with a yellow blanket with a hoodie hanging over the foot stand. "That looks like my bed." He went over to the desk next. He found a bunch of binders with study notes, and a gasp came out of his mouth when he found a familiar looking mask. "And that's my ogre mask…" Then he found two family pictures. One of him and Carmine and the other of him, Carmine, and their grandparents.
"I'm in my room." Kieran finally put things together.
SLAM!
A sudden door slam startled Kieran. And low and behold, he saw himself storming in. "Wowzers… Wh-What happened in this memory?" He soon was about to find out.
Kieran growled under his breath, pacing back and forth. He breathed hard, feeling like his blood was going to boil. He made a fist, lifted it up and…
SLAM!
And punched his desk hard.
Kieran gasped, scared of his own self so angry and bitter. "That looked like it hurt."
He felt the recoil pain and rubbed his hand to ease it. "Stupid Sis! Bringing her up like that!" He shouted furiously. "Juliana took the ogre from me! She can do anything I can't! She's all the way in Paldea in her perfect world! But who needs her…"
It was really unsettling for Kieran to watch himself go off… Now I remember. This happened after I pushed Sis, he thought and regretfully remembered.
Knock Knock Knock
As if he wasn't ticked off enough. Kieran begrudgingly answered the door. It was Crispin with a metal insulated lunchbox in his hands. "Hey Kieran," he greeted cheerfully.
"What is it, Crispin?" Kieran rudely asked.
"Pizza night in the League Club room," Crispin answered. "You're welcome to come if you like."
"No thanks. It's just a waste of my time." Kieran immediately shot that offer down.
That moment saddened Kieran. He did like it when Crispin made meals after league club activities. Man… I really haven't been nice to everyone, have I? Crispin did always make tasty food.
"Oh… okay then." Crispin despondently understood but presented him with the lunch box. "Well, at least take this, I insist. All that training must have worked up an appetite."
Admittedly, Crispin was right, Kieran did feel his stomach was empty. He calmly accepted the lunchbox surprisingly. "Thanks. Now scram!"
Slam!
And shut the door on his Crispin.
Kieran flinched again at himself, lashing out at his classmate and everything around him.
"O-Okay. I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow then!" Crispin said from the other side and left.
Kieran sighed in annoyance. "So troublesome."
Grumble…Grumble…Grumble
Kieran felt his stomach growling and held it. "Yeah! Yeah! I know! I haven't eaten anything! Relax, would ya?!" He sat down at his desk, opened up his food and took a bite of his pizza, still warm. He savored the taste, and silently admitted it was delicious.
For the third time, Kieran processed everything that happened in his memory. Snapping at Crispin for being invited to dinner? That wasn't like him at all. He thought it was generous of the chef to invite him for a bite, but he chose to isolate himself instead. He really wished he hadn't done that to him.
As he was eating, he caught a glance at his family pictures. He paused for a bit. His eyes softened a little, thinking about Carmine and the rest of the family. But he quickly scoffed, grabbed his pictures and coldly shoved them away in his desk drawers before finishing his meal.
"Oh man…" Kieran's sadness didn't stop.
The background rippled and shifted again. This time, Kieran found himself transported in the Terarium again, but this time in Central Plaza. "Now Central Plaza?"
"Kiki, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!"
Kieran heard Carmine's voice. He ran to find her and himself standing in the area where the polar biome entrance was. "Sis…"
Did you just come in from the polar biome?" Carmine asked.
"Yeah. What of it?" Kieran answered coldly and annoyed.
"What were you doing over there without your winter outfit?!" Carmine exclaimed. "You could've gotten sick!"
"Shut it Sis." Kieran hushed her. "I was just training over there. I can't get stronger if I don't. Besides, the cold keeps my mind sharp."
Kieran watched in disbelief. "Oh man… even at Carmine…"
"You look exhausted. Have you been sleeping?" His sister asked, concerned.
Kieran looked at himself like he did in his memory with Drayton. Once he did, he knew he didn't look right. His sis was right to be concerned, but he ignored her too. "Sis is right. I look like a mess. It's like I've gone crazy."
Kieran scoffed at her. "I'm not gonna get stronger by slacking off! Heck! I'm wasting time talking to you! I need to go." He started to walk away.
"Wowzers…" He sadly thought out loud, "I really haven't been nice to her or anyone since the school trip."
But Carmine wasn't about to let him get away and grabbed his left arm. That ticked him off big time. "HEY! LET GO OF ME!"
Kieran flinched at the sight.
"Kiki, what's gotten into you?!" Carmine was desperate for answers.
Kieran got angrier with an eye twitch. "I said… LET. GO. OF. ME."
"How could you talk to your sister like that?" Carmine asked, very emotionally hurt.
Kieran looked down, ashamed at himself for speaking to his sister in that manner. Oh sis… I can't believe what I'm seein'…
"I'm worried about you. This obsession with getting stronger? It's not doing you any good!" Carmine tried to get through to him.
Kieran disagreed. "Actually, I'd say it's working in my favor." He smirked sinisterly. "I did beat Drayton after all."
"That's not the point!" Carmine cried. "Don't you see it's wearing you down inside and out?! It's like you poisoned yourself! It's very toxic!"
The BB league Champion frowned at his sis. "All I'm seeing is an unsupportive sister. I thought you were on my side."
Kieran was watching the argument go down right in front of him. He looked at himself and Carmine in shock. His past self was scaring him.
Carmine almost broke down at that moment. "Kieran! I do support you! But not like this! Your behavior's really unacceptable! What would Juliana-"
That did for Kieran. He used his right hand and furiously shoved his sister down to the floor with the latter letting out a painful scream.
AAAAAAAAAAAGH!
*GASP!* Kieran gasped in absolute shock and horror…
"Carmine!" Amarys was just as shocked and horrified. She ran to her fallen friend's side.
He covered his mouth, still shocked at what he did.
Admittedly, even Kieran was surprised at himself, and he was the one who pushed her. His breath shuddered and looked down at his shaking hand, the same one he used to push Carmine.
Kieran just watched his sister fall to the ground. He immediately got concerned for his sis and was guilty at the same time… "Oh no. Sis…"
Kieran shut his eyes and clenched his fist, getting over his shock. He ominously approached Carmine and…
Angrily, furiously, ferociously, stared down at her with a
COLD…
DEAD…
GLARE.
"DON'T. EVER. BRING UP JULIANA."
That was his final warning. The way he said it, it sounded bitter and painful.
He turned and walked away. Leaving his sister on the ground. With every step he took, his lip quivered, and he shut his eyes…
Out of all the memories Kieran witnessed, he took it too far on this one. He hurt his big sister. His own blood.
Carmine's eyes started to water. She felt choking sobs coming out of her mouth. Amarys helped her friend get up on her feet and hugged her with all the comfort she could muster, feeling sad for her. Carmine hugged her back, and let out all the tears from her eyes, sobbing loudly. "How could he do this to me?!"
Kieran's eyes shimmered. He sniffled and a small stream of tears rolled down his face. Soft sobs came out of his mouth. He really felt ashamed of himself. "What… What have I've done…"
"Shh… It's gonna be okay." Amarys whispered. "C'mon. Let's go." And suggested they leave the Terarium. Taking up on her offer, the pair sadly walked away.
That moment really got him thinking twice. Kieran sat down on the ground with his knees up and hugging them. He shut his eyes and buried his face in his legs and kept crying. Unlike when Amarys comforted Carmine, no one was there for him, nor did he think he deserved the slightest bit of comfort in any form. He severed his relationship with his sister for strength. Sure, she had a tendency to belittle him, but always looked out and cared for him growing up, and knew she loved him. He loved her too, which makes watching the regretful memory all that painful and heartbreaking.
For the fifth time in a row, the background surrounding Kieran shifted again, but he was too despondent to notice.
The walls were rocky and covered in glistening crystals that showed off their light. It almost looked like a cave.
Kieran calmed down a little and looked up with a couple of sniffles. He quickly realized that the location changed again. "The Underdepths?"
He looked to his left and in the center of the crystal he looked at, there was a lime green crystal shaped stone. The sound of incoming footsteps caught his attention.
Kieran ran up to the crystal with Briar behind him. He felt like the crystal is calling him, hypnotized by the gleaming light. "If I can get the hidden treasure of Area Zero…"
He ran up to it and grabbed it…
"I-I can finally beat Juliana!" He shouted as he tried to pry the crystal out.
"That's what this is about?!" Juliana couldn't believe it.
"Kiki! You're still going on about that nonsense?!" Carmine exclaimed.
"Shut it, Sis!" Kieran hushed her, not paying attention.
Kieran realized this memory was where he really lost it. He looked at the worried Juliana and Carmine trying to reason with him.
"Kieran! Stop!" Juliana begged, nearly on the verge of tears, "This isn't you! You're better than this! This obsession with strength and winning?! It's burning you inside!" And it was just like Drayton warned about.
"Oh yeah, Juliana?" Kieran bitterly questioned her. At the top of his lungs, his frustrations came out.
"YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I WANTED! YOU GOT STRONG POKEMON! YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT! AND YOU CAN BE FRIENDS WITH ANYONE!"
Kieran watched in horror. He never saw himself furiously rant like he did.
"And Ogerpon…" He wasn't done, "I LOVED HER SINCE FOREVER AGO! BUT EVEN OGERPON CHOSE YOU OVER ME!" He took a couple of breaths, still trying to pull the crystal.
"Not Juliana too…" Kieran almost wanted to cry again.
"But Kiki–you did your best, too!" Carmine reminded him.
"EVEN YOU, SIS!" Kieran screamed at her. "YOU WERE ALL NASTY TOWARDS HER AT FIRST! THEN BOOM! YOU WERE BEST FRIENDS WITH HER IN NO TIME!"
"I… Well…" As much as Carmine didn't like being reminded of her initial hostility towards Juliana, it was true.
Kieran couldn't bear it, and yet it opened his eyes to how he verbally mistreated the girls.
"I've got nothing…" Kieran went quiet, but then continued to vent and pull the crystal, "I'VE WORKED SO HARD, AND FOR WHAT?! I STILL LOST IN THE END! This… THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT NOW!"
Taking his insecurities and harsh feelings out on his sister and former friend was too sickening for Kieran to watch. When it came to Juliana, she was the first person he felt he could be himself when he didn't feel shy and timid. He had a couple of good memories with her especially during the beginning of their school project when they paired up.
The cavern blurred. The space shifted and changed once more…
Part one of Kieran's memory arc is done, the bad half that is. His memory with Carmine is essentially the same as Carmine's in the 2a chapter, just from his perspective. I'll admit, Kieran's memory with Drayton I wouldn't really call lashing out, but Lacey and Amarys, Crispin, and Carmine do. The memory with Juliana is based on the moment where Kieran goes on a motive rant while trying to awaken Terapagos.