She fidgeted with the ring on her left hand.
It was a simple, single cushion cut diamond on a thin gold band. It wasn't outlandish, decent sized, but aesthetically, it fit Olivia's style.
She moved the ring up and down, just under her knuckle, in a daze.
They'd been, she guessed engaged, since she found out she was pregnant with Colin.
He was acting weird. Jumpy, a little flighty, avoiding small talk. While Elliot Stabler was a great detective, he wasn't particularly good at keeping his own cool when he was worried about something.
But in all fairness to him, she was also not herself. Except she had every idea she knew why. What was going on with Elliot, she couldn't decide.
Maybe it was the long week they both had. He was assigned to the homicide unit. They couldn't keep working together, while they also lived together, raised Halle together. Too many conflicts of interest. And while Elliot was invested in SVU, he knew what it really meant to Liv. She saw herself there and only there; he would leave for her to have that. But two units meant two schedules and different cases. They managed most weeks to spend some kind of time together. This week, there had been only maybe an hour where El was home with his girls.
"Hal last time I checked we eat our food, not throw it." Elliot's comment was greeted with a cheeky grin from the little girl. God, she was her mother's child, he thought to himself.
"You're home?" Olivia looked at him from where she sat in front of Halle's high chair.
"Sure am." Elliot tossed his keys on the entryway table and pulled off his work shoes. "You eaten yet?"
She shook her head. "Nope, just fed her."
"Take out then? Chinese?"
Liv made a face like just the thought of General Tsoa's chicken made her nauseous. "How about Italian?"
"Okay, I'll call."
He took note of her reaction, though. The sour face she made, the way she hadn't moved her hand from her stomach since he had walked through the apartment door. Maybe he was just thinking too hard about it.
Olivia popped one of the last remaining pieces of garlic bread into her mouth. "Thank god for carbs."
Elliot chuckled. "I aim to provide only the most romantic evenings of pasta and sweats."
Halle had been put to sleep and the couple was left to enjoy their meal in peace.
"Well I'm satisfied then."
"Come on, you're not even going to beg for a little sex?"
Liv laughed out loud at him. "Elliot Stabler, I don't beg. And I certainly don't beg for sex. I don't have to."
"Fair." He smirked. "You good with this arrangement?"
"What arrangement? Eating pasta on the couch?"
"No, living together. Parenting together. Existing here."
"What does that have to do with you wanting post-dinner sex?"
Elliot rolled his eyes, sensing her unwillingness to join in his deep conversation or at least her resistance to it. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Benson. I'm being serious. Are you happy with this? Are you happy together?"
She took a deep breath, feeling the shift in the conversation, understanding that Elliot was in fact serious. The harmless night in they were having after a horrendously long week, was going to stay etched in both their brains.
"Elliot, I'm as happy as I've ever been."
"Then marry me."
"What?"
He pulled out a little black box from his pocket and popped it open with his thumb.
Olivia, momentarily taken aback, stared at the engagement ring. "What?" She repeated.
"You heard me. Marry me."
"I'm pregnant."
"What?!" It was Elliot's turn this time.
"Kinda thought you might need to know that before I accept your proposal." She said, with a half-cocked smile.
"Is this some kinda joke?"
"Uh..no." She confirmed. "I can go dig some plastic sticks out of the trash can, if you need to see for yourself."
"Shit."
"You still wanna marry me?"
"I might have to think about it now."
"Asshole!"
He pulled the ring out, discarding the box on the coffee table with their dinner. Elliot reached for Liv's hand, which she willingly gave over. He slipped the ring on.
"Does it make it better that I wanted to marry you before I knew I had knocked you up?"
"Oh yeah. The catholic church would be so proud."
Two years later they hadn't acted on it. Not because they didn't want to, but neither of them could settle on a plan. They didn't want a big, garish wedding. Elliot had done that and Olivia, while this would be her first marriage, didn't have any desire to spend the money, time or energy on something that wouldn't change what they already had. One day they may make it to the courthouse with Fin and Cragen in tow, but it wasn't a priority.
A soft knock at her open office door, pulled her out of her thoughts.
"You reconsidering?"
Elliot walked in, button down and slacks on.
"After two years, I guess not."
"You got some time? I need to run something past you."
"Is that good or bad?"
Elliot shrugged. "Maybe neither? Just something I want to get your opinion on."
Liv flipped her wrist over and looked at her watch, two o'clock. "I have a meeting with the chief to talk about Dodds' replacement at 4:00pm, so I can spare an hour or so."
"Coffee's on me then."
"It ought to be, since I had to get up with your son at five this morning."
They exited the bodega on the corner across from the precinct, coffee in hand. "So what is so important that I earned a mid-day visit from you?"
"What do you know about Organized Crime these days?" Elliot asked her.
"That it exists?"
"That's it?"
"I mean I know they do some good work, heard a few things in passing, but I haven't had any real interaction. Doesn't seem that much of what they work on has a lot of crossover to SVU. I think their sergeant is pretty good. Bell. She's always had a good rep. In Narcotics before OC."
"I got an offer to move over there." Elliot took a sip of his coffee.
Liv raised an eyebrow in response. "Oh did you?"
"I'm considering it."
"What's making you hesitate?"
"All the UC work."
They'd been there. The thing that almost broke every piece of their relationship had been Elliot going undercover. It had torn to shreds the life Olivia had been used to and directly changed the trajectory of her personal life. She got Halle out of it, but some of the wounds still remained.
"I've been there before. Not officially a squad member, but close enough."
"Different command, though. Maybe things are different?"
"Maybe. But it's not the first offer I've received from them."
"It isn't?"
"No. Third, actually." He admitted. "The first was before I came back to SVU, but I wasn't ready to be there full time, not after that assignment. Then again about a month before you had Colin. We were going to have a newborn, we already had a toddler, I couldn't risk being gone for any of that. And we had enough going on, I didn't also need a new job."
"So they really want you?"
"I'm just so irresistible." He smirked.
"Oh yeah, that's it for sure."
"Hey you had a baby with me didn't you?"
"You're such a shit."
He laughed in response to her. "But really. What do you actually think? I'm not doing this without your approval."
"I mean Elliot, you're a grown adult, I can't just tell you no."
"But you can have a say in this decision. I want you to have one."
Could she handle him being undercover? Could she handle the unknown that came with that? It would be different knowing he signed up for it, rather than being left in the dark, finding out after the fact. She wanted him to pursue career moves that fulfilled him, challenged him. He wasn't going to move up the chain of command, but just because that wasn't his chosen trajectory didn't mean he couldn't make other moves.
The most selfish part of her wanted to beg him to do anything else, to take any other open position if he was tired of being in homicide. He could make a move, but a safe one.
She needed to be reasonable.
"I can't lie to you and say that this is my dream department for you." She sighed. "But if you want it, if this is something you can see yourself doing, then I will support you."
"What did I do to deserve you?" Elliot asked, very genuinely.
"Not a lot, so keep that in mind." Olivia answered back, almost as seriously.