Chapter 4
The next morning, the heroes were still sleeping soundly in their sleeping bags as Donkey was talking to himself in his sleep.
"Yeah, you know I like it like that…" he muttered to himself as Shrek roused from his sleep and looked over at Donkey. "Come on, baby. I said I like it…"
"Donkey, wake up," Shrek hissed as he tapped on his face lightly.
"What?" Donkey mumbled as he shook himself awake.
"Wake up," Shrek reiterated.
"What?" Donkey groaned with a yawn as he got up on his feet.
"Abigail, will you please shut the baby up? I'm trying to sleep," Rhonda grumbled in her sleep.
"Rhonda, wake up! Princess Fiona's making breakfast for us!" Katie urged as she shook her awake roughly.
"Huh, what…?" Rhonda grumbled as she opened her eyes with a yawn while stretching deeply. "She is?"
"Morning," Princess Fiona greeted everyone as she was busy cooking eggs over a single green leaf. "How do you like your eggs?"
"Good morning, Princess!" Donkey greeted her cheerfully.
"I prefer them fried," Rhonda retorted briskly.
"I like them sunny side up," Katie quipped.
"I prefer them over easy," Shirley replied.
"I second Katie's motion," Mitchell commented wryly while lighting up a cigarette and taking a slow drag.
"What's all this about?" Shrek asked.
"You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. After all, you did rescue me," Princess Fiona explained as she brought the eggs over to Donkey.
"Uh, thanks," Shrek scratched his ear uncertainly as Donkey sniffed the eggs and licked his lips in anticipation.
"Well, eat up; we got a big day ahead of us," Princess Fiona announced as she turned her gaze to the rest of the group. "And don't worry; there's a lot more than where that came from."
"Well, I'm going to go do some early morning hunting," Mitchell declared as he stretched himself deeply before rising up to his feet. "Want to come with, Andrew?"
"Gee, I thought you'd never ask," Andrew beamed.
"And what about you, old codger? Are you up for catching some early morning game?" Mitchell inquired with a teasing, wry smirk as he glanced over towards Doug.
"I wouldn't mind spending some time in the great outdoors," Doug replied with a smile.
"All right, gentlemen; let's go!" Mitchell announced as he tossed some rifles to the two men before they walked off towards the woods.
A short while later, Doug, Mitchell and Andrew were venturing through a wide, open clearing as Mitchell was scanning the area for any sign of prey. He then noticed a deer grazing on the ground peacefully as he shushed his companions before signaling to them to crouch down on the ground and hide in the bushes.
"Now, on my signal, you aim your weapons at the deer and shoot," Mitchell whispered. "You need to be really quiet or you're going to spook it and scare it off."
"Oh, you don't need to remind me, pops; I know the drill," Andrew retorted with a teasing smirk. "My dad and I used to go to the gun range whenever he was in town and he would teach us to shoot. Sometimes when we fly over to England for the summer, he would take me to the woods to hunt for deer and other game."
"Nice," Mitchell nodded.
"What about you, Pops? What's your story?" Mitchell asked, glancing over to Doug.
"Well, I was an orphan just like you," Doug answered. "My mother died giving birth to me and I was taken in by my father and stepmother and raised alongside my older half-brother Byron. Then when I was a young boy, my father left my mother and took us with him, only to dump us in the local orphanage before leaving town. I never saw him again."
"Sorry to hear that, mate," Mitchell replied solemnly.
"My brother was fortunate enough to be adopted into a loving family but I wasn't; as soon as I aged out of the system, I found myself living in the streets," Doug continued. "I served in the Navy for a time and while I was there, I met a lovely girl from the Philippines named Kim and I married her and had a child with her. We then made a mutual decision to leave our son Quinn with her mother while we relocated to the United States to start a new life for ourselves. Looking bad that was a decision that I've come to regret over the years not only because it caused my son to have so much resentment and anger towards me but it also caused me to lose out on so much time with him."
He shook his head sadly with a sigh as he said this.
"Have you gotten a chance to reconnect with your son since then?" Andrew asked.
"Of course," Doug nodded, his face brightening. "I came to Hawaii to support my son while his mother was dying from cancer and after she passed away, I was able to patch things up with him. And now that he and I are on good terms, I get to maintain contact with my grandchildren every now and then."
"Ain't that swell?" Mitchell scoffed disdainfully as he turned his attention back to the deer while aiming his rifle at it.
But then just as he was about to pull the trigger, the deer suddenly seized up and collapsed to the ground dead with blood pooling around its body. Vivian then cackled evilly as she emerged out of the shadows with Ivan holding a rifle.
"We got it, Ivan! Ladies, bring it in!" she declared shrilly.
Within minutes, Zira and her group of lionesses converged over to the dead deer as they grabbed it by their teeth and began hauling it out of the clearing.
"Hey, that was supposed to be our kill!" Andrew hissed angrily in a low voice, but Mitchell quickly shushed him with a warning look.
"We better get here if we don't want to risk getting caught by Zira and her goons," he whispered as Doug and Andrew nodded and they quickly slipped out of the area as fast as they could.
A short time later, they returned to the campsite and were surprised to see Princess Fiona cooking more eggs as the rest of the gang was eating their fill.
"Hey, glad you guys made it," Princess Fiona smiled as she offered them the eggs. "I take it that your hunting session didn't go so well."
"You can say that again," Mitchell laughed sheepishly with a grimace.
"Well, I figured that I would make you guys some more eggs just in case," Princess Fiona said as she offered them more eggs on leaves.
"Thank you, Princess," Doug bowed respectfully as he, Mitchell and Andrew accepted the eggs before they dug in.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
A short while later, the heroes had packed up their campsite and were now resuming their arduous and long trek through the woods. However, the calm and tranquil atmosphere was soon interrupted by a loud burp from Shrek.
"Shrek!" Donkey snapped at him disapprovingly.
"What? It's a compliment," Shrek retorted back as he looked over at Princess Fiona. "Better out than in I always say."
"Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess," Donkey chided him in a low, admonishing voice.
But then they were soon abruptly interrupted by a loud burp from Princess Fiona as she walked past them with a smile.
"Thanks."
"She's as nasty as you are," Donkey marveled in awe as he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
Shrek then laughed at Donkey's comment before he turned his attention to Princess Fiona.
"You know, you're not exactly what I expected."
"Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them," Princess Fiona replied with a smile as she kept on walking through the woods while singing and humming to herself.
"Wow, she has a lovely voice," Luthor smiled.
But then a mysterious figure suddenly swung over to Princess Fiona and grabbed her before landing on a nearby tree.
"Princess!" Shrek exclaimed in horror.
"Hey, what the hell are you doing with the princess, you dumb bloke!" Mitchell snarled.
"Wait, wait, what are you doing?" Princess Fiona demanded in astonishment.
"Be still, mon cherie, for I am your savior!" the mysterious man declared boldly. "And I am rescuing you from this green…"
He then grabbed her arm and kissed it seductively while leering at her with a smile.
"…Beast…"
Princess Fiona just recoiled and grimaced at him with utter disgust and repulsion.
"Hey, is that a French version of Robin Hood or something?" Rhonda retorted with a quizzical eyebrow as she eyed the pair intently.
"Hey! That's my princess! Go find your own!" Shrek bellowed as he and Donkey gazed up at the mysterious man.
"Please, monster; can't you see that I'm a little busy over here!" the mysterious man protested while gesturing over to Princess Fiona.
"Look, pal; I don't know who you think you are!" Princess Fiona snarled as she shoved him roughly and jabbed her finger repeatedly on his chest.
"Oh, of course!" the mysterious man apologized while face-palming himself and bowing his head reverently. "How rude of me. Please, let me introduce myself."
He then turned around to the right and cupped his mouth with his hand.
"Oh, Merry Men!"
Just then a group of bandits emerged from the bushes as one of them played the accordion and they all prepared to burst out into song.
"What in Allah's name…" Jasmine balked incredulously as she immediately tensed up in apprehension.
The mysterious man then tossed an apple at Donkey as he caught it in his mouth and he and his comrades surrounded him.
I steal from the rich
And give to the needy
One of the Merry Men sings while pressing his fingers apart, leaving a little space between his thumb and index finger.
(He takes a wee percentage)
But I'm not greedy
I rescue pretty damsels
Man, I'm good
The heroes then exchanged baffled and flabbergasted glances at each other as they continued to watch the bizarre and elaborate musical number play out, with Agumon and Veemon shrugging at each other.
(What a guy)
Monsiuer Hood
Break it down
The Merry Men then proceeded to perform a little Irish jig together while Monsieur Hood posed and danced along with them.
I like an honest fight
And a saucy little maid
Shrek rolled his eyes in disdain while Julie grimaced and stepped away from one of the Merry Men with a repulsed and appalled expression as he leered at her seductively. Mitchell then suddenly pulled a gun at him from behind as he led him away with hands in the air, prompting Julie to let out a huge sigh of relief.
The Merry Men then gathered together in a tight huddle while hovering over each other before being rudely interrupted by Monsieur Hood.
What he's basically saying is
He likes to get…
Paid!
The Merry Men then lay together on the ground while forming a star-like formation as Monsieur Hood continued to sing.
When an ogre in the bush
Grabs a lady by the tush
That's bad
(That's bad)
(That's bad)
(That's bad)
Monsier Hood and the Merry Men then advanced towards the heroes menacingly while snapping their fingers in unison.
When a beauty's with a beast
It makes me awfully mad
He's mad
He's really, really mad
Monsieur Hood then drew out his blade as he pointed it at Shrek and was about to make his move.
I'll take my blade
And ram it through your heart
Keep your eyes on me, boys
Cause I'm about to start…
But then he was soon unexpectedly interrupted when Princess Fiona swung into the air and lunged at him before knocking him to the ground, causing him to hit his head on a rock and fall unconscious. She then somersaulted into the ground and landed with a deep sigh.
"Man that was really annoying."
"Why you little…" one of the Merry Men snarled as he pulled back his arrow on his quiver and prepared to shoot her.
But then Mitchell took out his Desert Eagle and shot him in the head at point blank range, causing him to release the arrow and drop to the ground, dead. The arrow then flew by Princess Fiona as she quickly dodged it and Donkey and Shrek also narrowly avoided getting hit by it as it ricocheted onto a tree and disappeared.
Princess Fiona then somersaulted over to another Merry Man as she pummeled and throttled him with a series of punches before disposing of another Merry Man with an upper cut. She then jumped into the air just as two more Merry Men dove right for her and she stopped for a moment to adjust her crown before she knocked them away with two simultaneous drop kicks.
"What in the name of Christ is going on?" Rhonda murmured in utter shock and disbelief as she and the others watched in stunned silence.
Then as another Merry Man chased her towards a tree, she then quickly climbed up the tree trunk and somersaulted into the air before landing on the ground and smashing her fist into the accordion, knocking him out. She then disposed of the last Merry Man by knocking him out with a spinning kick.
Then when everyone was defeated, she then walked over to Shrek and Donkey with a satisfied smirk, with Shrek holding Donkey as both of their jaws were hanging wide open.
"Shall we?" she announced as she walked away.
"Hold the phone," Shrek said as he quickly dropped Donkey and ran after Princess Fiona. "Whoa, whoa, whoa; hold on now. Where did that come from?"
"What?" Princess Fiona gawked at him quizzically.
"That! Back there; that was amazing!" Shrek retorted while gesturing towards the direction that they just came from. "Where did you learn that?"
"Well, when one lives alone, one has to learn these things in case there's a…" Princess Fiona explained as her sentence suddenly trailed off upon noticing that there was an arrow sticking from Shrek's behind. "There's an arrow in your butt!"
"What?" Shrek balked at her in confusion as he glanced over to see that there was an arrow stuck on his behind. "Oh, would you look at that?"
"No, this is all my fault," Princess Fiona apologized as she attempted to reach out to remove the arrow, only for Shrek to wince in pain. "I'm so sorry."
"Why? What's wrong?" Donkey asked as he approached the pair.
"Shrek's hurt," Princess Fiona replied.
"Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt?!" Donkey immediately flew into a frenzied panic as he started jumping and hopping all over the place. "Oh no, Shrek's going to die!"
"Donkey, I'm okay," Shrek tried to reassure him calmly.
"You can't do this to me, Shrek; I'm too young for you to die!" Donkey wailed as he began to pace around nervously and fearfully and then started to kick his legs in the air. "Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anybody know the Heimlich?"
"Donkey, calm down!" Princess Fiona urged him as she grabbed his ear and pulled him close to her. "If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns."
"Blue flower and red thorns; okay, I'm on it," Donkey nodded eagerly as he walked off while muttering to himself. "Blue flower, red thorns… blue flower, red thorns…"
He then turned around to face Shrek as he prepared to leave. "Don't die, Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!"
"Donkey!" Princess Fiona and Shrek yelled irascibly at him.
"Oh, yeah right; blue flower, red thorns…" Donkey replied as he raced off.
"Do you mind if we go with Donkey to keep him company?" Doug offered.
"Sure, why not?" Princess Fiona shrugged as she then watched Doug and Julie leave with Donkey.
"So are we just going to ignore the fact that Mitchell literally just sniped a guy in the head at point blank range in cold blood?" Katie announced suddenly as all eyes fell on her and there was a tense, awkward silence.
Katie then glanced around to look at her friends in confusion and bewilderment before holding her hands up with a sheepish expression. "Okay, okay; I'll shut up now."
"What are the flowers for?" Shrek asked.
"For getting rid of Donkey," Princess Fiona answered as she then reached over to try to remove the arrow from him. "Now, you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out."
Shrek then yelped out in pain as Princess Fiona pulled on the arrow and he quickly stepped back.
"Hey, easy with the yanking!"
"I'm sorry, but it has to come out," Princess Fiona insisted.
"No, it's tender," Shrek whined.
"Now, hold on…" Princess Fiona ordered as Shrek quickly backed away from her while resisting her efforts to remove the arrow.
"What you're doing is the opposite of help…"
The heroes then watched the entire exchange silently as Rhonda looked over at their friends with a slightly bored and disinterested expression.
"Well, I think I'm going to play on my Gameboy for a while," she said as she reached into her backpack and took out her Gameboy.
"Can I watch?" Katie asked as she walked over to Rhonda.
"Yeah," Rhonda shrugged.
"Can I watch too?" Maxie asked as she, Lucas, Tommy, Mariah and Cassie rushed over to Rhonda.
"I've never seen a Gameboy before. That looks like a lot of fun," Mariah grinned excitedly.
"I think I'm going to play with my Gameboy too," Luthor announced as he also took out his Gameboy and booted it up.
"Oh, cool!" Lucas cheered as he and Tommy rushed over to watch him play on his handheld console.
"Can Tao watch too?" Taokaka pleaded.
"Yeah," Rhonda nodded with a shrug.
"You're the best, red shorty, meow!" Taokaka cheered as she rushed over to Rhonda and leaned over her shoulder.
Meanwhile, Doug, Julie and Donkey were wandering through the meadow as they were looking for some blue flowers with red thorns. Julie noticed that Donkey still appeared to be on edge and was glancing around nervously.
"Would you like to hear a story, Donkey?" she offered.
"Yeah, yeah; that'll be real nice," Donkey nodded anxiously.
"I'll tell him a story, dearest, if you don't mind," Doug interjected as he glanced over at Julie and then cleared his throat.
"Many years ago, when I was still a young man, I served in the Navy. However, I lied about my age in order to get into the service. I traveled all over the globe during my time as a naval officer and I even got to visit the Philippines and Japan many times."
"But then one day my ship was attacked by a German submarine and my comrades and I were thrown overboard as our boat capsized and sank into the ocean. I was eventually rescued by a Coast Guard vessel and as it turned out, I was one of the only men to have made it out alive."
"Wow, that sounds amazing," Donkey marveled in awe as his face perked up. "So did you get to fight any more Germans?"
"No, but I did have many more naval encounters with the Japanese during my time in the Pacific theater. However, despite of the fact that they were considered our mortal enemies at the time, I did develop a great respect and admiration for their culture," Doug answered.
"Eventually one day while I was on shore leave in the Philippines, I met this lovely young girl named Kim and we fell in love, got married and had a son of our own. However, when we decided to relocate to the United States, we decided to leave our child with Kim's mother, which is a decision that I have come to regret in the years since."
"I was a different person back then; I cheated, lied and stole from numerous people in various get rich quick schemes. I actually landed in prison at one point when one of those schemes went horribly wrong and I was caught red-handed. I was also an unrepentant womanizer who had my share of the ladies back then. I was actually hired by a friend of Julie's named Susan Martin to seduce Julie away from her then husband Scott Banning. However, Julie stole my heart and I ended up completely falling for her."
"Then when my past eventually came calling in the form of Kim, who claimed that we were actually never legally divorced and she was still my lawfully wedded wife, I had a choice to make – either come clean to Julie about my past or attempt to save face by telling her a bald-faced lie. And I decided to tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth and to my surprise Julie decided to stick by me."
"And when Kim realized that I wasn't going to leave Julie, she finally confessed that we were in fact no longer married and she left town. However, I did manage to send her some money for child support on the side as a result of my earnings from Doug's Place On The Lake."
"Wow, what a great story," Donkey grinned excitedly with wide eyes. "So whatever did happen to your ex-wife and son?"
"Well, actually…" Doug began but then he was interrupted by a loud, sharp cry from Shrek.
"I'm coming, Shrek!" Donkey hollered as he ripped off a bushel of blue flowers from a bush and ran off, with Doug and Julie quickly following him.
"Owww…" Shrek groaned. "Not good."
"Okay, okay… I can nearly see the head. It's just about…" Princess Fiona said as she was still trying to pull the arrow out of Shrek's behind.
Shrek then let out another pained cry as he rolled onto his back and Princess Fiona fell on top of him, prompting them to exchange awkward and bashful looks. They soon heard someone clearing their throat as they turned around to see Donkey smirking at them teasingly.
"I hope we weren't interrupting anything," Doug said with a knowing smile of his own.
"Nothing happened; we were just…" Shrek insisted as he and Princess Fiona got up on their feet
"Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask, okay?" Donkey grinned teasingly.
"Come on! That's the last thing on my mind! The princess here was just…" Shrek protested irately as Princess Fiona used this momentary distraction from him to violently yank the arrow out of his behind.
Shrek then let out a sharp cry of pain as he then glanced over at Princess Fiona with an uncomfortable and uneasy grimace.
Princess Fiona then waved the arrow in his face with a knowing raised eyebrow.
"Owww…." Shrek groaned.
"Glad that's over; can we go now?" Luthor sighed with an eye roll.
"Hey, what's that? That's… Is that blood?" Donkey stammered as he began to feel faint and then in a matter of minutes he fell unconscious and dropped to the ground.
"Oh, my God, Donkey, are you okay?" Mariah gasped in horror as she and the other kids rushed over to Donkey.
"Give him some air! Give him some air!" Katie urged everyone as she quickly beckoned for the others to step back.
"Oh no, honey; oh, poor Donkey," Julie fretted as she and Doug gazed down at him worriedly.
"Let me go get him," Shrek urged as he walked over to the unconscious Donkey and bent over to pick him up. "Don't worry; he'll be fine."
He then grabbed Donkey and hoisted him over his shoulder as he walked away.
"Let's go! Let's get moving!" he bellowed loudly while gesturing for the others to follow him as they soon followed him and left.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
A short while later, the gang had finally arrived at the edge of the city of Duloc as Lord Farquaad's white castle loomed over the late afternoon sky.
"There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you," Shrek said.
"That's Duloc?" Princess Fiona frowned quizzically, gazing out at the white tower.
"Yeah, I know," Donkey interjected while shoving in between Shrek and Princess Fiona. "You know, Shrek thinks that Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means that he has a really…"
But just then he let out a loud sharp of pain as he dropped to the ground.
"I uh… I guess we better move on…" Shrek hesitated.
"Sure, but Shrek?" Princess Fiona replied tentatively as she walked Shrek walk away.
Shrek then suddenly stopped as he looked over at her.
"I'm worried about Donkey," Princess Fiona said as Donkey quickly got up and shook his head.
"What?" Shrek balked as he walked over to Princess Fiona and Donkey.
"I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good," Princess Fiona insisted while gesturing over to Donkey.
"What are you talking about? I'm fine," Donkey insisted.
"Well, that's what they always say," Princess Fiona retorted as she grabbed Donkey's head and quickly turned him to face her directly. "And then next thing you know, you're on your back…"
Donkey raised a questioning eyebrow at her, not understanding what she was saying.
"Dead," Princess Fiona declared.
"You know, she's right," Shrek concurred. "You look awful; do you want to sit down?"
"You know, I'll make you some tea," Princess Fiona offered.
"I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look…" Donkey said as he then attempted to turn his head and it ended up bending at an awkward 90 degree angle to the left.
"Owww…! See?"
"Oh, dear God," Rhonda cringed as she and her friends grimaced uncomfortably.
"Don't worry, everyone; we're going to take a look at Donkey with our medical scanners and see if there is anything wrong," Agent Forsythe reassured everyone.
"Who's hungry?" Shrek announced as he walked away. "I'll find us some dinner."
"I'll get the firewood," Princess Fiona volunteered as she also walked away.
"Hey, where you goin'?" Donkey protested as he watched Shrek and Princess Fiona leave. "Man, I can't feel my toes!"
He then looked down and soon realized that he had only hooves.
"I don't have any toes!" Donkey wailed as he sat down and hung his head, on the verge of breaking down into tears. "I think I need a hug."
"I'll give you a hug, Donkey," Rhonda said as she walked over to him and gave him a loving squeeze.
Donkey then buried his face into her shoulder and started weeping openly.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
A few hours later, the heroes were sitting around the campfire eating roasted rats on a stick as Shrek was busy cooking some more over the fire.
"Mmm… this is good. This is really good," Princess Fiona said as she tore off a piece of her food and chewed on it. "What is this?"
"A weed rat," Shrek answered. "Rotisserie style."
"Hey, this isn't half bad," B.J. smiled as she looked over at Andrew while eating her food. "I can't wait to tell my folks back home that I ate rats for dinner."
Andrew snickered with a smile as he also took a bite of his food.
"I highly doubt my parents and Jeannie are going to believe me either."
Meanwhile, Kronk was hiding behind a pair of bushes as he was spying on the heroes.
"Hmmm… This sounds interesting; I might try this," he mused as he then disappeared into the bushes and was gone.
"No kidding," Princess Fiona marveled in awe as Shrek removed the stick of rats from the fire and sat down on the log beside her. "Well, this is delicious."
"Well, they're also great in stews," Shrek explained. "Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weedrat stew.
Princess Fiona then wiped her mouth and turned to look at the white castle looming over the horizon sadly.
"I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night."
"Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime," Shrek offered as he then removed the roasted weedrat from his stick. "I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you… Swamp-toad soup, fish eye tartar, you name it…"
Princess Fiona laughed as she smiled wistfully at Shrek.
"I'd like that."
B.J. also smiled bashfully at Andrew as she took another bite of her rat. Andrew just averted his gaze from her awkwardly with a terse smile while rubbing his head sheepishly.
"I'm not exactly sure if this is suitable for human consumption," Julie eyed her stick of weedrats suspiciously while staring at it.
"I'll gladly eat your portion for you, darling," Doug smiled at his wife tenderly while cupping her face.
Julie giggled softly as she gazed at him tenderly.
"You're such a doll," she said as the pair then took a bite of their food and chewed thoroughly.
Shrek then slurped the rat into his mouth and chuckled bashfully as Princess Fiona averted her gaze briefly with a smile before she then turned to look back at him as the two shared a longing gaze.
"Princess?" Shrek stammered.
"Yes, Shrek?" Princess Fiona whispered.
"I was wondering. Are you…" Shrek stammered as he rubbed his right ear anxiously and struggled to find the words to speak before he pointed at Princess Fiona's stick.
"Are you gonna eat that?"
Princess Fiona smiled as she offered him the weedrat and he grabbed it in her hand. It wasn't long before the two gazed at each other as they slowly leaned in for a kiss, only to be rudely interrupted by Donkey.
"Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset!"
"Sunset! No! I mean, it's late. It's very late," Princess Fiona stammered nervously as she suddenly got up from the log and was now preparing to leave.
"What?" Shrek frowned in confusion.
"Wait a minute… I see what's goin' on here… You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?" Donkey demanded with a knowing look.
"Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know what, I'd better go inside," Princess Fiona quickly agreed with Donkey's assessment as she turned to leave.
"Well, don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too, until… Hey no wait, I'm still afraid of the dark!" Donkey continued to ramble on incessantly as he soon became confused at what he was saying and he glanced over at Shrek with a puzzled and bemused face.
Shrek just shook his head with an eye roll and an annoyed scoff.
"Good night," Princess Fiona said as she disappeared into her makeshift shelter.
"Good night," Shrek replied sadly.
"Man, this is getting really weird; what's her deal anyway?" Luthor scoffed suspiciously as he shot a withering, pointed look at his friends.
"I agree; this whole situation with Princess Fiona is really dodgy. I can't help but feel that she's hiding something major," Rhonda agreed.
"You might be right, Rhonda, but what could she possibly be hiding?" Jasmine frowned quizzically. "It's not like any of us here has the faintest idea what her secret is."
"Don't worry, Jasmine; we're going to find out sooner or later. It's just like my daddy says, what's done in the dark always comes to light," Rhonda replied as she turned to look at Jasmine with a knowing smile.
"Ahhh, now I see what's goin' on here…" Donkey nodded with a knowing gleam in his eyes.
"What are you talkin' about?" Shrek scoffed as he and Donkey walked back to their campsite.
"I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it," Donkey retorted sardonically. "Hell, I can even tell that old white couple were diggin' each other and it's written plain as day on their faces."
"You're crazy," Shrek insisted as he looked over at his stick. "I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad."
"Come on, Shrek; wake up and smell the pheromones! Just go on in and tell her how you feel," Donkey shot back persistently.
"I…!" Shrek growled as he suddenly stood up and glared at Donkey indignantly while still clutching the stick in his hand.
"There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know… And I'm not sayin' that I do, 'cause I don't… She's a princess and I'm…"
"An ogre?" Donkey offered.
"Yeah, an ogre," Shrek sneered as he tossed the stick away and walked off.
"Hey, where you goin'?"
"To get more firewood," Shrek yelled back as he continued to walk deeper into the woods.
Donkey then glanced over at the pile of firewood suspiciously as he then looked back at Shrek's retreating figure, immediately knowing that he was lying.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
Meanwhile, the Super League of Villains had also set up their own campsite as Kronk was cooking up some weedrats on a stick for his teammates.
"Here you go, enjoy!" he said as he handed over a stick full of weedrats to Jeannie and set it down on her plate.
"Ewww, gross! What even is that? I'm not going to eat that! It's so nasty!" Jeannie grimaced in disgust as she recoiled from her plate.
"Don't offend our cook, darling. He went through all that trouble just to provide a wonderful, scrumptious meal for us," Vivian admonished Jeannie sternly as she ripped off one rat from a stick and bit into it. "Unless you want to go to bed hungry without supper."
"Sorry, sorry! I'll shut up and eat it; God," Jeannie quickly apologized while holding up her hands as she picked up her food and bit into it, grimacing deeply.
Well, it's not like I'm going to find much else around these parts and I'm sick and tired of eating nothing but bugs and berries.
"My compliments to the chef; you've outdone yourself, Monsieur Kronk," Akiho praised Kronk warmly as she sipped on her glass of iced tea.
"Oh well, I had some help from a recipe that I managed to buy from a bookstore in Duloc that had a list of all of the local recipes," Kronk laughed bashfully while rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
"You really do appear to have a natural talent for the culinary arts then," Akiho continued with a beguiling, warm smile. "I can't wait to see what you come up next."
Kronk then burst out into a fit of nervous laughter, with his face blushing red.
Jeannie just eyed Akiho suspiciously while still chewing on her stick of weedrats slowly and gingerly.
What is she doing buttering up Kronk like that anyway? What is that girl even up to? I'm going to find out what it is one way or another.
A short while later, when everyone else had gone to bed, Jeannie snuck down into one of the many dungeon rooms where the villains housed their prisoners as she approached a particularly enormous and wide cell.
"Hey, are you there? Hello!" Jeannie hollered as she crept closer to the prison cell and poked her head through the bars.
Just then she heard a low, rumbling growl as she saw a pair of shimmering green eyes and then she quickly stepped back upon seeing the dragon emerge out of the shadows. The dragon then growled at Jeannie threatening with narrowed, suspicious eyes.
"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," Jeannie said. "I just want to talk."
The dragon continued to growl softly while crouching low to the ground and raising her tail at her menacingly.
"Look… I'm sorry that Maleficent and her goons got you chained up here in the dungeon. But maybe I can try to make your stay here as comfortable and painless as possible," Jeannie rambled on nervously as she continued to cower at the sight of the dragon.
She then reached into her pocket and took out a roasted weedrat and held it out in her hand.
"Here; it's the roasted weedrat that Kronk made for dinner earlier. I figured that maybe you'd like it since… ya know… dragons eat meat and all…"
The dragon then leaned in and sniffed at the weedrat for a few minutes before she licked her lips and grabbed it gingerly as she tossed it into the air and caught it in her mouth. Jeannie jumped back in shock and amazement as she watched the dragon swallow the rat whole.
"Well, okay then! I guess you must really like those. I'll go get you some more if you like; there's more than where that came from!" she stammered anxiously as she quickly turned around to leave.
"How precious; you really do have a fondness for those silly fairytale creatures," a female voice laughed and Jeannie quickly froze as she turned around to see Akiho emerging out of the shadows.
"What the hell are you doing here, Akiho? Are you spying on me?!" Jeannie demanded angrily, balling up her fists tightly.
"Relax, mon cherie; I just want to talk," Akiho reassured her calmly as she walked over to her. "I hope you're not thinking of freeing that dragon. We still need her for our master plan."
"No, I'm not," Jeannie insisted, crossing her arms sternly. "Besides, even if I was, I'm not going to run the risk of endangering all of our lives by letting her go. Dragons can be highly unpredictable; you never know how they're going to react."
"So you do understand then," Akiho nodded in agreement with a knowing smile. "I knew you looked like a clever one."
"You really think so?" Jeannie retorted with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course, darling," Akiho replied with a warm, beguiling smile.
"So why are you here? what made you decide to become Maleficent's apprentice in the first place?" Jeannie asked curiously.
"My father wanted me to learn everything that I possibly could from Maleficent. He thought that I had great potential," Akiho explained with a shrug. "I also needed something that gave me great purpose. Yes, it is true that my mother loves me just as much as she loves my sister Yuki, but my other maternal relatives could care less about me. As a matter of fact, my grandmother despises me."
"Why is that?" Jeannie balked in astonishment and disbelief, not understanding how somebody could have a strong dislike for their own flesh and blood, much less their grandchild.
"She hated the way that I looked; she hated how I had flaming red hair and I had strange looking colored eyes like the blazing sun. Every time that she laid eyes on me, she would call me a demon and she would tell me to go away. Of course, my sister Yuki also has strange looking colored eyes, but at least she looks like a normal Japanese girl; I don't," Akiho explained, her face remaining neutral with no hint of discernable expression.
"My grandmother never even wanted my mother to marry my father because she thought that he was beneath her and he was not Japanese. I'm an outsider in my own family and culture, and as a result I've always been drawn to the French culture. At least they accept me, in spite of my appearance."
"I'm sorry… I didn't know," Jeannie apologized sympathetically.
"Do not apologize; I don't need your pity," Akiho waved her hand dismissively as she turned away from her with an arrogant scoff. "My mother gave me humanity, but my father gave me strength, and my strength is what is going to allow me to survive in this world. I will make him and Madame Maleficent proud by becoming one of the most powerful magic-users in the entire Multiverse, and I won't let anyone stop me, not even my own sister, and especially not you."
Jeannie then glared at her determinedly with narrowed eyes as Akiho looked straight ahead at the pitch black darkness in front of her.
"You know, it's such a shame that I actually do like you. I sense a lot of darkness within you, but oddly enough I do also sense a small sliver of humanity deep within you. It remains to be seen if the light can overcome the darkness in your soul."
She then started to leave but then suddenly stopped and turned around to smirk at Jeannie coyly.
"And don't even think that you have a chance in hell with Riku. He's mine and you know it."
"Don't be ridiculous, Akiho. Riku is never going to be interested in either one of us," Jeannie retorted with a pointed eye roll. "We're too young for him."
"We'll see about that, won't we?" Akiho smirked in a conniving matter as she turned around and walked away.
"Wow, is that girl weird or what?" Jeannie muttered as she exchanged a baffled glance with the dragon, who just shrugged.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
Meanwhile, that very same night, Donkey was fast asleep with the rest of the gang when he suddenly heard a noise.
"Huh…?" Donkey mumbled as he lifted up his head groggily and he looked over to see a silhouette of an ogre appearing on Princess Fiona's window.
"Princess? Princess?" Donkey called out as he got up and walked over to the shelter before entering the building.
Once inside, he scanned his surroundings warily as he continued to search for the princess.
"Princess? Princess Fiona?"
He then became even more concerned as he noticed that the place appeared to be deserted and empty and there was a cobweb hanging over the ceiling.
"Princess? Princess where are you?"
He then looked up to see a flock of ravens flying away from a nearby window.
"Princess?"
Just then he heard a noise as he slowly crept over to see where the noise was coming from.
"It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games," he murmured quietly with a hint of fear in his voice, not noticing that a mysterious figure was shadowing him from the second floor above, concealed in the darkness.
But just then Donkey jumped as there was a loud crash behind him and smoke filled the air as the mysterious figure rose to her feet. Then when the smoke started to clear, Donkey immediately saw that the mysterious figure appeared to be a female ogre and he let out a terrified scream.
"No, no!" the female ogre yelled.
"No, help!" Donkey yelped as he immediately started to panic and freak out. "Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!"
"No, it's okay; it's okay," the female ogre tried to reassure him calmly while shushing him loudly as she approached him.
"What did you do with the princess?!" Donkey yelled fearfully as he started to back away.
"Donkey, I'm the princess," the female ogre insisted, still shushing him. "It's me, in this body."
"Oh my God, you ate the princess!" Donkey exclaimed hysterically as he then started to yell into the female ogre's stomach. "Can you hear me?!"
"Donkey!" the female ogre shot back.
"Listen, keep breathing!" Donkey hollered.
"NO!" the female ogre groaned in a frustrated voice.
"I'll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek…!" Donkey continued to scream and yell hysterically, prompting the female ogre to cover his mouth and turn his head so that he would face her directly.
"This is me," she said.
Donkey then continued to scream and yell out in terror as he stared into the female ogre's face; after a few moments, he then quickly calmed down upon recognizing a familiar face.
"Princess…? What happened to you? You're… different…"
"I'm ugly, okay!" Princess Fiona pouted irascibly.
"Well, yeah; was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea…" Donkey replied as he followed Princess Fiona. "You are what you eat, I said. Now…"
"No," Princess Fiona sighed as she turned to look at Donkey. "I've been this way for as long as I can remember.
"What do you mean?" Donkey frowned with a puzzled and confused expression. "Look, I ain't never seen you like this before."
"It only happens when the sun goes down," Princess Fiona explained as she turned to look down at a barrel that was full of water while seeing a reflection of her own face.
"By night one way, by day another… This shall be the norm until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form…"
"Aw, that's beautiful; I didn't know you wrote poetry," Donkey gushed at her words.
"It's a spell," Princess Fiona scoffed as she spun around to face him. "When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this… this horrible, ugly beast!"
She then splashed the water with her hand violently in a fit of anger, prompting Donkey to get drenched as he shook his head rapidly to clear off the droplets. Princess Fiona then walked over to a bench as she sat down.
"I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this."
"All right, all right; calm down. Look, it's not that bad," Donkey tried to reassure her as he walked over and sat down next to her. "You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie; You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7."
"But Donkey, I'm a princess…" Princess Fiona sniffled as she placed her head in her hands in despair. "And this is not how a princess is meant to look."
"Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?" Donkey suggested gently.
"I have to," Princess Fiona insisted. "Only my true love's kiss can break the spell."
"But you know um… You're kind of an ogre, and Shrek, well, you got a lot in common," Donkey mused while making a side glance in deep thought.
"Shrek?" Princess Fiona looked over at Donkey wistfully for a moment.
Meanwhile, Shrek was walking over to Princess Fiona's shelter while carrying a single sunflower in hand and talking to himself.
"Princess, I… How's it going, first of all? Good? Good for me, too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and… Well, I don't really like it, but I thought that you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd…"
He then stuttered and let out a deep sigh while scratching his head anxiously.
"I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go."
He then went up the steps and was prepared to knock the door when he suddenly stopped to overhear Princess Fiona and Donkey's conversation.
"I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love."
Shrek's face then faltered as the full weight of Princess Fiona's words began to hit him and he looked over at the sunflower with a deep sigh.
"Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be."
Shrek then tossed the sunflower to the ground as he walked away, furious.
"It's the only way to break the spell," Princess Fiona continued.
"You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth," Donkey urged her as he walked off.
"No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know," Princess Fiona insisted.
"What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?" Donkey scoffed incredulously.
"Promise you won't tell! Promise!" Princess Fiona demanded.
"All right, all right, I won't tell him," Donkey scoffed with a groan as he walked out of the shelter. "But you should."
He then walked down the steps as he continued to mutter to himself.
"I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'."
Princess Fiona then watched Donkey leave and then looked down to see the sunflower lying on the ground. She then picked it up and glanced around to see if anybody was around before disappearing back into her shelter.
Donkey then returned back to his spot on the campsite as he circled around the grass and lay down on the grass before he settled down to sleep.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
The next morning, Princess Fiona was sitting in her shelter as she was picking off the petals off the sunflower.
"I tell him… I tell him not… I tell him…"
She then got up and headed out of the shelter with a bright smile on her face as her mind appeared to be made up.
"Shrek! Shrek, there's something that I want…"
She then noticed that everyone except for Shrek was still fast asleep as the campfire had long died out. Then as the sun rose over the horizon, Princess Fiona felt its morning rays shine on her as a cloud of magical dust surrounded her and she reverted back to her human form.
Not even a moment later, she noticed that Shrek was walking up to her with an irate and disgruntled expression as she sauntered over to him.
"Shrek, Shrek! Are you all right?"
"Perfect! Never been better," Shrek snarled bitterly as he shoved her out of the way before he kept on walking.
"I… I don't…" Princess Fiona stammered as she was taken aback by Shrek's sudden change in attitude. "There's something I have to tell you."
"You don't have to tell me anything, Princess!" Shrek yelled indignantly. "I heard enough last night."
"You heard what I said?" Princess Fiona gawked in astonishment, not expecting Shrek to have overheard her conversation with Donkey.
"Every word," Shrek answered as he sat down on the steps.
"I thought you'd understand," Princess Fiona said sadly.
"I understand," Shrek snapped with a cold glare. "Like you said, 'who could love a hideous, ugly beast?'"
"But I thought that wouldn't matter to you…" Princess Fiona whispered, her face crestfallen.
"Yeah, well it does!" Shrek growled.
Just then a loud neigh was heard as Princess Fiona and Shrek soon realized that they got company.
"Right on time," Shrek retorted as he gestured over to an advancing figure who was accompanied by several knights while on horseback. "Princess, I brought you a little something."
"What'd I miss? What'd I miss?" Donkey yawned as he rolled over onto his feet, only to cower and slink away the moment that a pair of knights on horseback walked by him with one of them looking him right in the eye.
"Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey," Donkey muttered to himself as he quickly scurried away.
"Princess Fiona," Lord Farquaad greeted him with a warm, inviting smile while sitting on his horse.
"As promised. Now hand over my swamp," Shrek ordered.
"Very well, ogre; the deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed," Lord Farquaad said as Shrek stormed over to him and snatched the deed from right out of his hand before walking off. "Take it and go before I change my mind."
He then turned to face Princess Fiona as he sauntered over to her.
"Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I am Lord Farquaad."
"Lord Farquaad? No, no…" Princess Fiona stammered nervously as Lord Farquaad snapped his fingers and arranged for one of the knights to dismount him off his horse.
"Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short…"
Her sentence then trailed off as Lord Farquaad was placed on the ground and she was stunned and alarmed by how tiny and short he really was.
"…Farewell…"
"Jesus Christ on a cracker he's literally about as tall as Napoleon," Rhonda gawked.
"That is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre," Lord Farquaad chuckled disdainfully as Shrek looked over to overhear his conversation with Princess Fiona. "It's not like it has feelings."
"No, you're right. It doesn't," Princess Fiona concurred as she shot a withering, pointed glare at Shrek.
"Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona… I ask for your hand in marriage," Lord Farquaad declared as he knelt down and grabbed her hand, yanking her roughly and causing her to nearly lose her balance. "Will you be the perfect bride to the perfect groom?"
Princess Fiona then glanced over at Shrek uncertainly as Shrek turned away from her before she turned her attention back to Lord Farquaad.
"Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make…"
"Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!" Lord Farquaad exclaimed loudly in an excited voice.
"No! I mean, why wait? Let's get married today before sunset," Princess Fiona proposed.
"Anxious, are we?" Lord Farquaad mused. "You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do!"
He then snapped his fingers again as one of the knights grabbed him and hoisted him on his horse again.
"There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list... Captain, round up some guests!"
Princess Fiona then climbed up on the horse and sat behind her fiancé.
"Fare thee well, ogre," she said as she rode away with Lord Farquaad.
"Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away!" Donkey hollered as he ran after Shrek.
"Yeah, so what?" Shrek scoffed.
"Shrek, there's something about her that you don't know…" Donkey began as he raced up to Shrek and blocked his way.
"Look, I talked to her last night. She's…"
"I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?" Shrek snarled at him brusquely. "Now if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?"
"Shrek, I wanna go with you," Donkey pleaded as he trailed after him.
"I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! Not you or your stupid weirdo friends!" Shrek yelled as he whipped around to face Donkey. "I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying talking donkeys!"
Donkey's ears then hung low as his expression fell and tears welled up in his eyes.
"But I thought…"
"Yeah, you know what? You thought wrong!" Shrek shot back as he stormed off, leaving Donkey behind.
"Shrek…"
"Come on, guys; let's go. It's pretty obvious that he doesn't want us around," Jackie sighed dejectedly as she walked off.
"But what about Donkey? We can't just leave him here," Rhonda protested while pointing at Donkey.
"He's not our problem; we need to get to our ship ASAP and head back home. The mission's over," Agent Hawthorne retorted curtly. "We got the Dimensional Stone and the princess is in safe hands."
"No, wait… you know what? She's right," Julie interjected as she walked over to Donkey and placed a loving arm around him. "He doesn't have anybody as far as we know and he doesn't even have a home to go back to. Doug and I are going to take him back to Salem so that he would have somewhere to stay in the meantime until Shrek gets his act together."
"All right, fine; he's your problem," Agent Hawthorne scoffed with an eye roll as he face-palmed himself. "Can we please go now?!"
"Everyone, let's get moving; we need to be out of here by nightfall," Rebecca announced as she led everyone away just as the spaceship materialized out of nowhere and was now landing in front of them.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
Several hours later, Doug and Julie arrived back at the Horton House with their luggage in hand as they entered the living room with Donkey trailing behind them.
"Here we are; our humble abode," Julie announced as she set her suitcases down.
"Wow, this looks cozy," Donkey muttered to himself as he surveyed his new surroundings. "Nice interior decorating."
He then glanced over to see a large plush beige sofa chair as he walked over to it and studied it intently.
"Oh, wow, that looks like a really nice, comfy chair."
"That's my grandmother's chair, by the way," Julie announced as she and Doug approached him. "She usually sits there."
"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to intrude," Donkey quickly stepped away apologetically while bowing his head reverently.
"Hey, Julie… Daddy," a tall, striking and athletic dark-brown haired woman strolled into the room as Julie went over to greet her.
"Hello, Hope," Julie smiled as she and the other woman hugged and kissed each other. "How is everything?"
"Good; how was the cruise?" Hope asked curiously.
"We had a marvelous time, just marvelous," Doug answered with a wide grin. "We had a fun campout outdoors and went on an exciting adventure together."
"We narrowly avoided getting eaten alive by a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon and we also rescued a lost princess and brought her back to her kingdom," Julie added. "We even ate some weedrats on a stick."
"Although if you ask me, I don't think those weedrats exactly agreed with me," Doug groaned while clutching his stomach uncomfortably as his face soon turned a visible green.
"Wow… that's quite a… cruise…" Hope narrowed her eyes suspiciously, not quite fully buying her parents' story.
"Excuse me…" Doug grimaced as he soon became extremely nauseous and he quickly sprinted into the bathroom and slammed the door shut as Hope and Julie could hear sounds of vomiting and puking.
"Man, I knew that it was a bad idea for those people to eat those rats!" Donkey retorted sardonically. "And did Shrek even listen to me? No siree bob he did not!"
"And who's your little friend here?" Hope asked as she motioned over to Donkey with a wary, suspicious gaze.
"Well, his name is Donkey and he's staying with us for a while," Julie explained with a nervous smile. "He had a little disagreement with a friend and he was kicked out with no other place to go."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Hope frowned sympathetically.
"Um, Julie, Hope; I don't feel so good," Doug groaned as he started vomiting profusely again.
"I think we better take Daddy to the E.R. so that they can treat him for the vomiting and nausea," Hope suggested.
"I agree; I'll get my things and in the meantime, you and Bo look after Donkey," Julie nodded as she went over to grab her purse.
"Hey, Fancy Face, what's going on?" a male voice announced as Hope turned around to see her husband walking into the living room.
"You might want to sit down for this one, Brady," Hope sighed as she looked over at Donkey. "It's a very long story."
"Okay… so would you mind explaining to me why in the hell we have a donkey standing in the middle of the living room?" Bo demanded while crossing his arms with a stern gaze.
Hope then let out an exasperated sigh and ran her hand through her face as she mulled over how to explain the situation to her husband.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
Later on that very same night, Rhonda was tossing and turning in bed restlessly as she was in the throes of a horrific and terrifying nightmare.
Rhonda found herself standing in the middle of Duloc as she saw that the entire town was engulfed in flames with several people scattering and running for their very lives. She then heard a loud, thundering roar and she looked up to see an enormous dragon with dark maroon eyes emerging from behind the white castle with a menacing snarl.
"Shrek!" a female voice cried out and Rhonda whipped over to see a female ogre wearing a wedding dress standing in the balcony with her hands outstretched. "Help me!"
"Fiona!" Shrek yelled as he raced over towards the castle to save Princess Fiona.
Then there was another loud, explosive roar as the dragon released a massive spurt of flames and Princess Fiona vanished in a cloud of smoke and debris with the entire castle collapsing on top of her with her in it.
"SHREK!"
"FIONA!" Rhonda screamed as she sat up in her bed while clutching her comforter blanket tightly and breathing heavily.
She then reached over to turn on the lamp on the night table beside her as she got out of bed and ran over to her closet.
"Huh? What's the matter, red shorty, meow?" Taokaka yawned as she stirred from her sleep and glanced over to see Rhonda digging into her closet for something to wear.
"I have to get back to Duloc, Tao; Princess Fiona is in danger," Rhonda quickly explained as she grabbed a blue polo shirt and a pair of jeans. "There's a dragon coming to destroy the entire town and Lord Farquaad might be behind it."
"Oh no, that doesn't sound good!" Agumon frowned.
"No, it doesn't," Rhonda shook her head as she soon headed for the bathroom. "As soon as I get dressed, we're getting the hell out of here and boarding the ship so that we can catch a portal that leads back to Shrek's universe. In the meantime, I got to call the others on my mobile phone."
"Okay, red shorty; meow," Taokaka nodded as she let out another deep yawn while stretching her legs.
A short time later, Rhonda met with the rest of the team outside their headquarters as they prepared to board their spaceship.
"Yeah, so it just occurred to me that Doug and Julie actually took Donkey home with them to their home universe so we got to go pick him up on the way back to Duloc," she said.
"All right then; let's go," Luthor declared excitedly with a fist pump.
"Yeah, too bad Maxie and the others can't come with us, so in the meantime it's just the six of us," Rhonda sighed dejectedly.
"Don't worry, fam; we got this, don't you worry," Shirley reassured her with a gentle and encouraging smile.
"All right then; let's go," Jasmine announced.
Rhonda then nodded as she then took in a deep breath.
"Okay," she said as she then led her team into the spaceship as they prepared to leave.
Upon entering the cockpit, Rhonda then sat down in the pilot's chair as she booted up the console and set up the coordinates.
"All right… let's see where Salem is," she muttered to herself.
"Um, shouldn't we be having an adult accompany us?" Yuki frowned anxiously.
"We don't have time, Yuki; the fate of Duloc now rests on our shoulders," Rhonda snapped irritably as she soon got a digital holographic map of the United States and moments later, a red dot appeared on the state of Illinois.
"Hold on? Salem is in the Midwest?" Luthor balked incredulously as he gawked at the map. "Damn we practically neighbors then."
"All right, everyone! Fasten your seatbelts!" Rhonda ordered as everyone buckled their seatbelts.
She pushed a button as the engine roared to life and the spaceship began to vibrate and shake loudly. Rhonda then grabbed the throttle as she pulled back on it and the spaceship started its rapid and swift ascent into the air.
"Hang on!" Rhonda bellowed as the kids began screaming loudly with the spaceship now gliding swiftly through the sky.
Moments later, an inter-dimensional portal opened up and the spaceship entered the portal before it completely vanished.
TLSTLSTLSTLS
Before the kids could even blink, the spaceship had already materialized in Salem as it was now taking a steep and harrowing dive towards the ground.
"We're going to crash, Rhonda! Do something!" Katie yelled as they continued their terrifying and dizzying descent with the ground quickly hurtling closer towards them.
"I'm trying, but nothing's working!" Rhonda yelled back as she frantically began to press several buttons and pulling several levers at once.
Eventually the spaceship landed violently on the ground with a sudden jolt as it began to careen and speed wildly through the streets with several people dashing away from them with terrified screams.
"Hang on!" Rhonda hollered as she clutched tightly to her steering wheel upon realizing that they were heading straight for a nearby restaurant.
Within moments, the spaceship lurched forward as it crashed straight into Chez Rouge with glass shattering and exploding all over the place and several patrons scattering and screaming shrilly.
"What in God's name is going on here?" a middle-aged woman with long, curly red hair demanded as she was mortified to discover that a spaceship had crashed right into her restaurant, leaving a big, massive gaping hole in the wall with several tables and chairs overturned.
"Dear merciful Lord!" the redheaded woman gasped with her hands covering her mouth in utter shock and dismay.
The door then opened up as the platform rolled down onto the ground and Rhonda and the others exited the aircraft, badly shaken but otherwise not hurt.
"Hey," Rhonda grinned sheepishly with a timid wave.
Within minutes, several police cars descended upon the restaurant as another car pulled into the parking lot and Doug, Julie, Hope, Bo and Donkey rushed out of the vehicle in a panic.
"Oh my God, the kids!" Julie cried as she and her family quickly raced into the restaurant as they soon met up with its owner.
"Maggie, what on Earth happened here?"
"I honestly have no idea, Julie," Maggie shrugged with a deep sigh. "One minute I was taking orders and the next minute, the spaceship just crashes straight through the wall. Almost like it came right out of nowhere."
"What on earth were you kids even thinking?" Julie scolded Rhonda sternly with an akimbo and a thin line. "Do you realize how easily you could have gotten yourselves killed? Not to mention the extensive damage that you have caused to Maggie's restaurant?"
"We have to get back to Duloc, Julie!" Rhonda protested, her face reddening in shame and embarrassment. "Princess Fiona is in serious trouble! We have to stop her from marrying Lord Farquaad!"
"Be as it may, I think that you owe Maggie a serious apology for destroying her restaurant," Julie retorted with a raised eyebrow and her arms crossed tightly.
Rhonda then exhaled sharply while hanging her head sadly as she turned to face Maggie with a guilty and remorseful expression.
"I'm sorry for wrecking your restaurant, Mrs. Maggie."
"It's quite all right, little one," Maggie replied with a sweet smile as she then turned to face Hope. "Now I suppose that you're on to police business at hand?"
"I suppose we are," Hope sighed with an uneasy smile as she turned her attention back to her parents. "Julie, Daddy, I'm going to need you two to stay behind. Bo and I will take care of things in the meantime."
"Thank you, Hope," Julie nodded. "Please look after the kids."
"Oh, I will," Hope nodded affirmatively as she then shot a pointed look at Rhonda.
"And I'm the one who's going to be taking charge of the wheel this time. Your joyriding days are over."
"You got it, boss," Rhonda retorted nervously as she stepped back while holding up her hands.
"So how exactly do you know these kids again?" Bo asked his in-laws with a questioning eyebrow.
"Well, they're from another world. We've been hanging out with them in the woods for at least the last three days," Julie explained.
"I lost count after the first day," Doug replied.
"All right; let's get moving, gang! We got work to do! Let's head inside the ship!" Hope barked while clapping her hands as she led everyone into the spaceship.
Then as soon as the platform disappeared and the door slammed shut, the spaceship roared back to life as it backed out of the large gaping hole before it accelerated onto the ground and quickly took off into the skies, disappearing in a blink of an eye.