Hello! Long time since the last update, and I apologize to anyone who was reading this story and hoping to see a new chapter sooner than it has arrived. Many months of writing, not writing and not being happy with any of it caused a delay in a post. As well as the ongoing trouble accessing this site due to some issue I have read many people experience when trying to log in or view.
Anyway, I won't keep you waiting much longer... all, what? One of you reading here? Swearing has been edited for this site and it comes a few days after being posted over on ao3 – you can always catch my updates there first. Hope you enjoy the new chapter!
Bobby kept a curious eye on the younger hunters in his house that morning. One of them was behaving as usual while the other two were only doing a pretty good job of trying to be their typical pain in the ass selves. Anyone else might not have noticed, but the little cracks in their facades would have been apparent to anyone who knew either hunter for as long and as well as he did.
Dean was doing what he always did at times like this – hiding how he felt and acting like everything was going to be okay even when it wasn't. Still, the odd sidelong glances he gave Manda and the occasional look at his watch with a grim expression were not typical of him. But the older hunter knew the boy was beyond worried about what was to come next, and that somehow even if it was the last thing he wanted to do that day, he was going to leave without that girl no matter how much it tore him apart to do it.
Manda, on the other hand, was doing her best to hold herself together, but the sad way she looked at Dean every so often coupled with the heavy sighs she let out when she thought no one was listening weren't like her. Bobby wasn't sure if it was hormones, the stress of Zachariah's pursuit of her in dreams and being pregnant during an apocalypse, the prospect of maybe never seeing Dean again after today, or knowing that her child's life, not just her own, depended almost entirely on how far underground and out of reach she was about to go that had her out of sorts now.
In his opinion, there was obviously more going on with the pregnant hunter and as he watched her rub furiously at her mother's ring for at least the hundredth time since she'd come down his stairs that morning, the older hunter had had enough. Something was chewing away at the girl, and at this rate, as long as the boys were inside and within earshot he knew there was no way in hell she was going to spit it out. While he could wait until Dean finally decided it was time to leave to find out what else was up with Manda, Bobby wasn't sure that was the best call. He'd been curious since yesterday to know what it was she was keeping back, because as much as he hated to admit that boy was right – she'd come to him instead of going to Dean first for a reason. He just wasn't sure how bad it was going to be, but was willing to wager Dean wasn't going to like it at all.
Waiting for the older Winchester to finish yet another cup of coffee, Bobby took it upon himself to create an opportunity for the pregnant hunter to offload whatever it was she was still hiding. He sent the boys out to handle some made up errands in the yard, claiming there were some things he couldn't do in the wheelchair and it wasn't fair to ask a paying customer to do certain things by themselves. A busted up 1985 Pontiac Grand Prix halfway out in the salvage yard didn't need to be crushed today. It'd only been sitting out there for the last ten years, but they didn't know that. No one had called about the getting the transmission from a 1977 Cadillac Eldorado either, but searching for the one he had out there would take more than a few minutes since he hadn't given them the exact row but just the general area of where they could find it. Both boys gave him odd looks, but still went out without saying much other than a snarky remark from the older one about how Bobby should know by now that the younger one wouldn't know what a transmission looked like if it bit in him the ass.
Manda was chuckling to herself as she heard the brotherly banter fade away as the door closed and set about taking the mugs left on the table to the sink.
Wheeling his chair to stop a few feet behind her after he was sure Sam and Dean had walked away from the house, Bobby cleared his throat. "Manda…"
"Bobby, I'm still capable of doing dishes," she replied, her tone a little annoyed as she rinsed out a mug. "Don't give me some bull about sitting down and taking it easy."
"I wasn't going to," he grumbled, catching himself before he called her an idjit. That wasn't going to get her to talk to him. "But Dean might if he catches you. That idjit all but ordered you to sit down when you wanted to make yourself breakfast."
Turning around, Manda chortled, rolling her eyes. Dean had almost done just that, but had stopped himself when she had met his hard look with her own. "He knew better than to try. But he also didn't even try to stop himself from just swiping some of the bacon off my plate either, so…" She shrugged.
Bobby scoffed. He'd seen that, and noted now how she was trying to blow this conversation off. "That boy…"
"Is someone we both love a lot," Manda curtly cut him off as she turned back around to put away the clean mugs. "And there's too much on his plate right now that ain't bacon, Bobby."
His expression said she had him there, so he stayed silent for a moment. But what she was saying here wasn't exactly lost on him either. "That might be so, but what about your plate, Manda?"
She cursed silently, not turning around just then even though she could feel his eyes burning a hole in her back. Bobby knew something was up, she knew he rarely missed picking up on things, but she had hoped to have this conversation after Sam and Dean had left, not before. "What about it?" she asked, turning around to face him then. "I'm pregnant, my baby daddy is taking or turning down a starring role in the apocalypse, and there's an angel after my ass looking to use me and my baby as leverage or worse because of that. Other hunters might do the same, and demons are just gonna kill me if they catch me like this. And let's not mention today's probably the last time I ever see Dean…" Her eyes misted over and she caught herself before she said more, took a deep breath and stared back at the older hunter with a tight grin. "So I know my plate is full up with plenty that isn't bacon either, but it's still my plate, isn't it?"
All of that was true, but the look on her when she said today was the last time she'd probably see Dean told him something else. There was definitely more going on that hadn't been said and she was downplaying it. "That mean whatever it is you haven't mentioned yet is about keeping it off Dean's? Because the way we heard it this morning, you've been keeping a lid on what's really going on with Zachariah. And don't you feed me any bull about how you've told Dean everything, Manda. He knows you haven't, so do I."
Manda sighed as she went to sit down at the table. She'd known Dean had told them about their shared dream and what had happened. She just hadn't been involved in it to know what he had actually said. But now it was clear Dean had said more than she'd thought. "Finding out he's going to be a father added a little more to Dean's plate." She scoffed hard and shook her head. "But that dream last night dumped a hundred pound bucket on it. He tell you he basically woke up all but screaming yes to Michael? 'Cause that's what he did, and yet he wondered why I didn't tell him everything Zachariah's been up to."
Of course he woke up like that, girl… ain't no surprise there, Bobby thought, glancing from her face to her stomach – the biggest motivation as to why Dean would say yes – and then back at her face again. But that wasn't quite news to him either even if Dean actually hadn't admitted it to him and Sam earlier. Nor did he blame him, because if he was in that kid's shoes, he'd probably have done the same. "He didn't need to say it, we all know Dean." He wheeled closer towards the table, gave her a look that said she knew better. "But are you saying you wouldn't do anything for family either, Manda?"
Biting her lip and rubbing at her mother's ring, the pregnant hunter glared back at the older hunter with a hurt look. He knew she would do anything it took. But would he understand when she told him what it was going to cost? She said a silent prayer then that Bobby would still help her out once he heard it because this conversation couldn't be avoided any longer. Eyes clouding with tears then, she shook her head with a hard no. "I… you know I'd do anything to protect my family," she said, a few tears rolling down her face. Her hand instantly went to rest on her stomach protectively. "And I showed up here, Bobby, because I'm gonna have to do it," her voice broke with pain. "But I also need your help."
Eyes widening, the older hunter didn't know what to do for a moment. He didn't want to watch Manda cry again, and now wasn't sure if he even wanted to know just how bad this was going to get, or how on earth he was supposed to help her if Dean couldn't. But, he'd made a promise to her parents long ago that he'd help her out whenever she needed it. He'd also basically made the same promise to Dean earlier this morning. "My help?" he asked, peering at her questioningly. "With?"
"Something neither of us will like much," Manda ominously said. Her eyes met Bobby's and she inhaled deeply before she spoke again to steady herself. "There's a piper to pay… price is Dean."
Disbelief passed over Bobby's face, and he could already feel his blood pressure rising. He'd figured she was up to something, that something wasn't right, but not that it was this. Because what in the hell did she mean by Dean was the price to pay? For half a second he wondered if she meant turning that boy over to the angels, but there was no way she would betray Dean like that. He would bet his life on it, because this girl just plain old loved the older Winchester more than maybe she should have. But who was he kidding here? He loved Dean just as much in a different way. "You wanna tell me the whole story, not just the damn blurb on the back of this goddamn book?"
Manda swallowed hard, trying to keep her emotions in check. "There's really only one way I live past these next few weeks, Bobby. Long story short, careful as I am, someone tracks me down very soon. Zachariah's got feelers out everywhere and he will get to me. He'll also succeed in carrying out his threats. Now this means I only have days to do what I need to do, not weeks or the months my baby needs…" She looked down at her stomach, smiled sadly, and closed her eyes. Hormones betrayed her and tears christened her cheeks once again anyway. "Before you ask, I checked it out with a psychic. So did Castiel. He's even backing my plan because there is no other choice here."
Goddamn it, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse. If she's already involved Castiel and he isn't telling Dean then this is some crap show. "No other choice but what?" he inquired, the curious tone in his voice holding strong.
The female hunter wiped her away tears, sniffled. "The only way my daughter and I have an almost sure bet to survive…" trailing off, her tone went hallow and her throat constricted as she had to say it out loud to Bobby. Her face twisted with emotion as she looked over at him. "Th-the only way I can help keep Dean alive, make sure he doesn't say yes… he… well… he needs to be a blank tape when it comes to me. Same goes with Sam. There's a spell… might be permanent, might be temporary… but it, uh, blocks all their memories of me. Catch is, only they can undo it once it's been done. Not even the angels can snap their fingers and unscramble that crap straight for them. So, if I don't mean squat to Dean, there goes the leverage to hang over his head. Can't promise Zachariah still won't kill me, but… this beats the straight shot he's got right now." The words spilled out quicker than she thought they would, and telling him felt like a load off her shoulders, but the weight of it wasn't gone just because she'd said it.
The older hunter almost didn't think he'd heard her right, but he'd heard every word loud and clear and he still didn't understand it. Well he did understand it, but it damn well near broke his heart to hear this is what it had come to. That the only choice there was for Manda was giving up Dean instead of being snuffed out just because she was having his child. This spot she was in was definitely not one to envy, and he never would have imagined it was the one she was in now. He felt for her, he really did, but he felt for Dean more. He knew what this would do to the man he had long thought of being the son he'd never had. Anger surged through him. "Have you lost your goddamn mind, Manda?" he gruffly asked, nearly bellowing now. "You want to make Dean forget you? Forget your baby?"
Shaking her head, Manda almost wished she had lost her mind instead. That would have been easier than this. Her eyes met Bobby's again and she saw his anger and his heartache as he looked back at her. "I told you neither of us will like this much," she uttered a bit too harshly in return.
"Manda, I know your folks and granddad didn't raise you to be a fool. You know you can't do that kind of magic without some kind of serious consequence, never mind what you'll be doing to Dean… Taking his daughter away from him just after he's learned about her... taking away how he feels about you, hell, that he even frigging well knows you…" He was shaking his head, unable to wrap his mind around it because how the hell couldn't he tell Dean this was what she needed help with? But just how the hell was he supposed to tell him in the first place? It wasn't fair, and he sure as hell didn't want to be the one to break this to him. "After everything else that's been asked of that boy, now this? By you?" Bobby tried to contain his anger and his disbelief, but both were showing more than he knew just then as he pounded a hand against an arm of his wheelchair.
Swiping at a tear, she just stared back at the older hunter with a heartbroken look. "You really think it's not gonna kill me to do this to Dean? I don't want him to forget a goddamn thing about me or that he has a daughter out there, but there's just no other choice. No other way. Well there is, but then it's my life and my baby's wiped out. That'll hurt him even more and we both know it. But I also can't throw Dean to that son of a bitch any more than I'll let him get his goddamned hands on my daughter," she uttered with a determined tone. "He threatened to use her instead, Bobby. She's not even born yet and Zachariah let me know in this morning's dream emergency interruption that she could take Dean's place as Michael's hand puppet." Manda's voice rose harshly as she was basically fuming at the thought. "They're willing to use her if it means they get what they want. A baby. My unborn baby. As a goddamn vessel for an archangel in a death match."
Eyes widening with shock at her revelation, Bobby's mouth dropped open a little as he stared at the pregnant hunter before him. The words out of her mouth nearly made him fall out of his chair. They weren't what he had been expecting to hear at all, because he'd thought ball had already hit the fan, but now he knew he'd been wrong – it was just hitting. "He what?" Glancing at her stomach, he wondered how that was even possible at this point. Then he remembered angels had all sorts of powers. So now it all made sense to him. Manda was in a serious bind, beyond neck deep in a Winchester kind of bind, and she was furiously trying to find a way out that caused the least amount of damage. There just didn't seem to be one from where he sat. No one was escaping unscathed here. "Damn right you're not throwing that boy to Zachariah or Michael. But there's not a goddamn chance in hell they're ever getting your baby to be their vessel either. Dean would never let it happen anymore than you will, and over my dead body does that happen to that kid, Manda. She's nowhere near ready to born yet for Christ's sake, those goddamn sons of bitches," he muttered angrily.
Manda nodded, sighing with some relief. The older hunter was at least behind her on that, which she hadn't doubted he wouldn't be, but it was reassuring to hear it from him.
Bobby recovered from his shock, ran a hand hard over his face thinking over what she said again. There was something in what she had said that made him curious. "Zachariah make you an offer?"
With a hard scoff, she said, "More like the luxury of a few days to choose between which Winchester gets to suit up an archangel – father or daughter."
He grimaced as he rolled his eyes. Of course Zachariah had offered her that choice, and he didn't need to be a genius to know just by looking at her she couldn't make it. How could she? Losing either one would destroy her, he knew that. "You gonna tell Dean any of this?"
Rubbing at her mother's ring again, Manda shook her head. "So he can say yes before you or I could bat an eyelash? You know as well as I do that's what he'll do if he knew a word of what I just told you. I'm not laying that on Dean. It's not a choice for him either, Bobby, you know it's just a lesser evil and a death sentence."
And you won't be able to stop him once he knows, and I'm not sure Sam could either… balls! Bobby took his cap off his head and rubbed at his scalp as he thought about the mess this was. Except it wasn't a mess, it was a colossal clusterball. "Alright, well… I'm not gonna argue with you on that one. We both know Dean well enough to know that's true. And I'm not saying he should know right now about Zachariah wanting to use your child… but what the hell are you gonna do, Manda? Doing that spell still won't change the fact that that baby in your belly is Dean's and there's an angel looking to use her as a vessel."
Silent for a minute or two, she didn't know how to answer him. It's not like there was a roadmap here, and she really had no idea what she was actually going to do when Zachariah showed up again in her dreams in a few days. "No, it won't. But this spell's still my best shot, so… first I'm gonna do the spell, then I'll figure out what to do about Zachariah."
Bobby sighed heavily. He didn't agree with her doing this spell, and he sure as hell didn't know how she was going to figure out what to do when Sam and Dean didn't know how to get out of being vessels either. "You sure about not telling Dean about this spell at all? Let him choose or at least know what you're gonna do?"
"You think he'd tell me if the roles were reversed here?" Manda shot back in a short tone. "I sure as hell don't."
Thinking back to earlier that morning when the younger hunter told him and Sam that he was getting Castiel to watch her dreams for Zachariah, Bobby knew Dean wouldn't tell her, he'd just do it. It was no wonder to him once again why the two hunters were soul mates. "No, he wouldn't," he answered honestly. "But, Manda, he'll mad as hell at you if and when he remembers."
Manda just dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand. "Then he'll be mad as hell at me. But as long as he's alive and so is our daughter, Dean will get over it, Bobby. He wants her, and she's his family."
Closing his eyes for a moment, the older hunter knew she was right on that. Dean would get over it in time, especially once he laid eyes on his child. There had been no mistaking how much the older Winchester wanted his own family when he talked about Manda and the baby earlier. "'Kay, I'll keep my trap shut. And for the record, it ain't right, and I don't like it. But the only thing I didn't hear anywhere in there was just what you need my help with. So spill it, kid."
Leaning forward to rest her elbows on Bobby's table, she just nodded a little remorsefully. "After the spell's done, I need you to spread word around that Manda Chambers was just another hunter lost to the job."
Letting out a sharp whistle, Bobby stared at her, wondered what the hell was actually going on in her mind. Though, part of him realized she was doing this to cover her tracks. Hunters wouldn't be looking for her if they thought she was dead. "That I can do… what else?"
"This one might not be as easy… if all else fails, you need to be the one to tell Dean one day. Whether he remembers or not, but if I'm dead… if our baby doesn't make it, will you tell him everything?"
Bobby wasn't sure he could tell Dean everything one day if that was the case. If that boy remembered and Manda and the baby weren't alive, the news would rip him apart. But the woman in front of him was asking for a reason. She knew it was better the news came from someone Dean could believe was telling him the truth. Someone they both knew, loved and trusted. "You write him a letter just in case. I'll make sure he gets it if that time comes. But you just make sure you damn well sure you and this baby pull through to the other side of this storm in one piece so I don't have to give him squat."
"Thanks, Bobby." Smiling sadly, Manda just wiped at yet another tear. "You know… you're gonna be the best grandpa this baby could ask for."
Scowling at her before he wheeled himself around towards his desk, Bobby already felt like he was just that to this unborn baby girl – a grandpa. Because if Dean wasn't going to be around to look out for his daughter, then the older hunter had no problem filling in the role of being her grandfather once she was born. "Don't you even think about calling me that," he grumbled, even though the hint of a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.
So that's it. How was it?
This chapter wasn't supposed to be between just Bobby and Manda, but that's the way it went as I wrote it. Originally he was supposed to be filled in after Sam and Dean left, but the idea I had while writing the last chapter was to make Bobby learn before the boys hit the road. Maybe Bobby should have been a little tougher on her, or leaned a little more towards telling Dean, but these two have their own history to consider that isn't at all related to Dean. Having him in Manda's corner seemed to make the most sense.
I'm not sure when the next chapter will be ready. It's been started, but the same old writing struggles are plaguing it. Hopefully it doesn't take as long to get written and posted, but who knows.
Thanks for reading! Hope you liked the update!