Please Don't Leave Me
Chapter Six
It had been a week since Xander had summoned the demon named Sweet. Who had gotten the whole of Sunnydale thinking they were Broadway musical stars. Dawn had almost become a child bride and Buffy had let her friends know that they ripped her from heaven.
The gang had been treading on eggshells around Buffy ever since. All except Spike who she'd shared a kiss with.
Ever since she was brought back the only person she could stand to be around was him. She was actually starting to enjoy having him around. He'd been there for her, he'd stopped her nightmares. He was helping with Dawn and they patrolled together every night.
They were good friends at this point, but she had to go and ruin it by kissing him. He hadn't mentioned the kiss of course, which was totally unlike him. She felt for certain he was going to gloat about it but he didn't.
She walked into the kitchen and found him sitting there with her sister doing history homework and eating breakfast. She watched them from the doorway.
"Okay so Nibblet, When did the Civil War end?" Spike asked as he put a mug of blood in the microwave
"May 9, 1864" said Dawn with a mouthful of cereal
"Wanh-wanh" said Spike "Try again"
Dawn swallowed her cereal "Okay… 1865?"
"Ding ding! We have a winner" he smiled
"I was just testing you" said Dawn
Spike laughed "Yeah 'course"
Buffy entered the kitchen "What's this? Breakfast study?"
"It was our routine when…" Dawn faltered
"When I was dead?" Buffy asked
"Yeah…" Dawn said sadly
"Hey, I'm okay" Buffy reassured her younger sister "Now get your butt upstairs and get ready for school"
Dawn nodded and made her way out of the kitchen. Buffy didn't acknowledge Spike's presence, she grabbed Dawn's finished bowl of cereal and put it in the sink.
"Are you really okay Buffy?" Spike asked
Buffy sighed "I'm going to start charging people who keep asking me that"
Buffy turned to face him, his face was full of concern for her "Sorry" he said softly
"It's okay, I'm fine… the guys have been a little weird since… well you know" said Buffy
"Just in shock I suspect" said Spike "I don't think they ever thought that you could've been in…"
"Heaven? Yeah I got that" said Buffy "But I'm here now… and you haven't mentioned anything about our kiss last week"
Spike was taken aback he didn't expect her to just drop their kiss into conversation. He shrugged "Just a bit of comfort"
"Is that all it was?" She asked
Their conversation was cut short by Willow entering the room.
"Morning Buffy" she smiled gingerly
"Hey" Buffy smiled back
"How are you doing?" asked Willow
"Peachy with a side of keen" said Buffy
"Good that's… really good" said Willow
There was a huge elephant in the room and for once it wasn't because Spike was hanging around. The Scoobies had become accustomed to Spike being at the Summers' house at all hours, they didn't even question it now.
"I'm gunna get ready to take Dawn to school" said Buffy making a hasty exit
Willow sighed heavily "Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"
"Might take a bit of time Red… she'll get there" said Spike
"I hope so"
Spike didn't know why he was being kind to the Witch when in reality she was the cause all of Buffy's pain. Although he couldn't thank her enough for bringing Buffy back, he also wanted to shake her and ask her what the hell she was thinking.
Buffy had waited for Willow and Tara to leave for class before she came back down stairs. Spike didn't know whether to wait for her or not so he grabbed his blanket and left just before the Witches.
Buffy was alone again.
XXXXX
Anya, Xander, Willow, and Tara sat around a table in Xander and Anya's apartment.
"Do you think she ... walked around on clouds, wearing like ... Birkenstocks and played a harp? 'Cause those are just not flattering. You know, the clonky sandals, not a harp.I mean, who ... doesn't look good with a harp?" Anya babbled
The others just looked at her with forlorn faces
"What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking, right baby?" Anya looked to Xander for reassurance.
"You are attractive and have many good qualities" he said softly
"It's totally not stupid to wonder what it was like for Buffy. But it could have been any one of a zillion heavenly dimensions. All we know is that ... it was a good place and she was happy there" said Tara
"And we took her away from that. We wrecked it for her" Willow said sadly
"We didn't wreck. We didn't know" Xander told her
"We didn't wanna know. We were so selfish. *I* was so selfish" Willow cried
Xander shook his head "Maybe we were. I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead. It's ... too mind-boggling. So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive, so, me glad"
"Not to be Miss Psycho Pep Squad, but we have *got* to stop obsessing about what we did and start trying to make things better for Buffy" Tara told them.
"I'm with Miss Psycho Pep Squad" Anya agreed
"Ah, we need to spend more time with her, just hang out. Maybe have ... weekly dinners over here, or, uh ... a book club. Short books. Videos" Xander offered
"I can fix it. I know a spell" said Willow
"No! No more spells" Tara said angrily
"Then what? This isn't something that's gonna be fixed by a video club. I know I messed up, okay, and ... I wanna fix it" said Willow
"I can't believe that we are talking about this again. You know how powerful magic is, how dangerous. You could hurt someone, you ... you could hurt yourself" Tara ranted
Willow shook her head "I know a spell that will make her forget she was ever in heaven"
"God, what is wrong with you?!" Tara yelled
Xander got up from his seat "I'm gonna go get that ... phone you probably don't hear. High-pitched ring, ears like a dog"
"I'm gonna help you with that" Anya followed him out of the room
Tara told Willow that she was aware that she used a forgetting spell on her a few weeks ago. Tara told Willow that she felt like she had violated her mind, just like Glory did the previous year. Willow made up excuses about not wanting to fight, it wasn't working Tara was not bending, she told her girlfriend that the Magics were beginning to take over their lives
"But I ... I just wanna help people" said Willow
"Maybe that's how it started, but ... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking. Including me" said Tara
"Tara, no!" Willow protested
"I don't think this is gonna work" said Tara tearfully
"Hey. It is, i-it's working. Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear" Willow panicked
"Go a week. One week without magic" said Tara
"Fine. Fine, that's easy!" Willow said excitedly
"Go a week, and then we'll see" Tara told her
Willow's face fell
"I don't know, I just ... think we both need some ... I don't know, space. Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this" Tara cried
"Are you saying you're gonna leave me?"
XXXXX
Giles had asked Buffy to meet him at The Magic Box earlier that day. She had just arrived and he ushered her into the back room of the store, they had made into a training room for them to spar in.
She sat down on the couch as instructed "Okay Giles now you're scaring me… what's going on? Is there trouble?" She panicked
"No…" he said sitting down beside her "I've come to a decision, it's not been easy but I believe it's for the best"
"What are you talking about?" Buffy frowned
"I'm going back to England" he blurted
A moment of silence fell between them. Buffy's mind was racing, 'Now? Why now?' She asked herself. How could he desert her when she needed him most.
"I don't want to leave-" he said quietly
"So don't. Please don't" she begged him "I can't do this without you"
"You can. That's why I'm going. As long as I stay you'll always turn to me if there's something comes up that you feel that you can't handle, and I'll step in because, because ... Because I can't bear to see you suffer" he said softly
"Me too. Hate suffering. Had about as much of it as I can take" she told him
"Believe me, I'm loathe to cause you more, but this...I've taught you all I can about being a slayer, and your mother taught you what you needed to know about life. You ... you're not gonna trust that until you're forced to stand alone"
"But why now? Now that you know where I've been, what I'm going through?"
"Now more than ever. The temptation to give up is gonna be overwhelming, and I can't let-"
"So I won't! No giving up. You can be here, and I can still be strong" she told him
"Buffy, I've thought this over ... and over. I believe it's the right thing to do"
"You're wrong" said Buffy, leaving and slamming the door behind her.
Buffy was shaking she was so angry. How could he leave now? She barely registered the tears that were freely falling down her cheeks. The sun was barely setting as she made her way to the cemetery, she needed to take her frustration out on something.
She stomped through Restfield Cemetery and headed for Spike's crypt. She almost took the door off its hinges as she entered.
"Bloody hell Slayer!" Spike jumped up from his chair in front of the tv "What's going on?"
Buffy didn't speak she just paced his crypt.
Spike frowned "Slayer are you alright?" He asked approaching her.
He noticed her tears and grabbed her shoulders "Luv, tell me what's got you in this state?"
Buffy frowned as she glanced across the room and noticed a duffel bag sitting on a sarcophagus "Are you going somewhere?" She asked gesturing to the bag
"What?" He asked confused
Buffy shrugged herself free of his grip "You're leaving too? I can't believe this! Why does everybody leave?"
"Buffy, I'm not-" he tried to talk
"No save it! You're just like the rest of them! I was such a fool to think I could count on you" she ranted
"What? You can count on me, you know you can!" He argued "God sake Buffy I love you, I can't leave you, not now"
"Giles is leaving… going back to England indefinitely" Buffy explained
"Oh Pet, I'm sorry" said Spike
"Sorry. Everybody's sorry. I know that you're just trying to help ... but it's just, it's too much. And, and I, I can't take it any more. If you ... if you understood how it felt ... how it feels. It's like I'm dying, it-"
Suddenly she falls to the floor, unconscious. Shortly followed by Spike.