With dawn cracking its way through the sky, turned from orange to blue, Pete loitered around in Bullworth town with Orion. The pair, like the furthest right and left wifi bars missing their buddies, stood around shivering from a wind that flowed through, flapping around a hung sign for the shop the two stood in front of: "Come Hither." They stood on the sidewalk of one stretch of urban town center, this spot separate from the Aquaberry outlet and the surrounding area the preps and rich adults occupied. A man with greasy hair, stains on his clothing, and one arm much more muscular than the other hurriedly exited the shop with a stack of magazines between his arm and chest.
"Seen who?" Orion asked.
"Connor Henson and Kanashii Vo," Pete explained. "Two close pals of mine. It's important that I find them."
"Ay, speaking of important things, how did it end up going with that girl? You two had a date or some shit, yeah?"
He shrugged. "Well, yeah, that's sort of the deal with what I'm saying. It's important that I figure out where Connor and Kanashii are because I neglected helping them with their issues. It should have been our issues, but my obsession with Shay made it only theirs to handle. I ended up coming clean with her, and she rejected me."
Orion snapped his fingers. "That bites, little homie. Sorry to hear about that."
He shrugged again. "Eh, well, you know... I think it was for the best."
Interest piqued, he gazed down at Pete and asked, "What issues were you talking about though?"
"Issues of the, uh, rich, spoiled variety."
Orion let a grin slip. "Well, whaddya know about that? Looks like your friends and my friends have similar issues."
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, brother, you must know the greasers and preps have it out for each other. It's only getting worse, too. I don't know all the details myself, seeing as Xander's the eensiest-weensiest," the greaser used his fingers and heightened his voice to illustrate, "his-penisiest bit far from kicking me out of his clique."
"One of these days, you ought to tell me why the greaser clique is so shaky," Pete suggested.
"And maybe I will, over a few stolen mugs of brandy. Maybe I will. Describe your friends to me?"
"Uh, they're, like, 5'6" and 5'9" or so?"
"That's not gonna do me any good, bruv. You're all 4'3" to me."
Pete scratched behind his neck, remembering that Orion more closely resembled a telephone pole than a person from his short perspective. "Right. Uh, Connor's got freckles and a nearly completely shaven head. He's got a resting annoyed face and he wears a green hoodie with slacks. Kanashii's, like, the only Asian student, and he's got hair like a cartoon bush, wears a dog-hair covered hoodie-you can't miss him."
"And they're both women, right?"
"N-no, not quite."
"Oh, well, then, no, I can't say I've seen your friends. Sorry, little bro."
"That's okay. I-"
"There you are!"
Pete jolted and Orion turned around to see a cop approaching from his parked car down the block. Orion looked down at the angered-for-whatever-reason man and stuck his hands in his leather jacket pockets.
"Seems problem what officer the be, to?" Orion asked. "Wait, lemme start over." [1]
"You two seem a little young to be hanging around a shop like this," the officer insinuated.
Only then did Pete look up and see the sign logo of the shop "Come Hither" to be written on a woman's leg in neon fishnets, with the "r" an upside down finger gesturing forward.
"Uh oh," he peeped.
"Lollygagging in front of a porno shop, boys?"
"I know, right?" Orion joked. "There's internet porn now. Why aren't we just on computers?"
"Why don't you empty your pockets?"
"I don't like your tone, sir. Can't you leave me and my son alone?" he urged, grabbing Pete and holding him in front of him protectively. "It's about time you piggies let us hard-working single fathers be. What's so wrong about this? We all get horny." Orion pressed his hands to Pete's ears. "Cover your ears, Timmy. Sometimes we gotta jerk it, all right? You do it. I'd wager."
"You're a teenager. That isn't your son."
"Hey, the academy doesn't let us use our phones. What am I supposed to jack off to? Architecture?"
Without warning, the cop reached in and unzipped Orion's jacket. As he complained, the cop pulled out several magazines.
"What do we have here?"
"Those are private," he retorted.
"'XXX Hussies XIV', huh? First XIII not good enough for you, that it?"
"Listen, man, I've been held back a few times. I'm actually old enough to be reading any kind of-"
"I see you've got a hold of 'Squirt Guns For Parents'? Here's 'MILF Megalomaniacs: Out of Therapy and Not Going Back 18'. You got an explanation for these? You're a fucking teenager, it's a punishable crime in Bullworth to be buying media like this at your age."
"I am not a teenager, okay? It's the face, isn't it? My face never grew with the rest of me, I get it. It's like sticking a pacifier at the top of a pencil, I know, but-"
"Really trying to walk out of here with 'GaGaGaGa BWOOSH: Sexy Latinas Melting My Brain!'? With," the cop flipped a page, "Fornicating Foreplay Angels in Church'? 'Bedtime Bombshells Tucking In Nothing But My Dick'? 'Hot Fuzz'? Oh, that one's fucked up. Women try to join the force and this is what they get for it? Oh! Don't think you're walking away with 'Guardin' My Bros From These Garden Hos: Farmer Sluts Love Mulch'." [2]
"All right, that one was a gift," Orion murmured, "I'm really much more interested in the intellectual substance of this content anyway."
"'Sticky-Ticky Miss Tishy Shows Her Tushy and Front Bushy After Licky-Licky On My Pricky-Pricky 7?' Oh, Jesus, I've read this one! You seriously spent money on 'Ball Swallowers 4: Hollow-Hearted Emo Whores Love Crying, But They Love Fucking More'?"
"How long is this gonna go on for?" Pete moaned.
"That last one's just poetic, wouldn't you say?" Orion replied.
"No, not really," Harper answered.
The preppie girl and Shay stood together in the garden outside Harrington House, past a gate, keeping these two somewhat secluded from the potential bystanding preps. Harper leaned down to pluck a yellow rose and bring it closer to her face.
"Well, if not money, then what?" Shay asked.
She scoffed. "Is that really what you think about me? That I can only like a guy for what money he can provide me?" She snorted. "Whatever. That Harper's dead. This new one has some substance, all right?"
"R-right, right, my bad," Shay peeped. "I just- you know, to be around the preps and then turn around and date someone like Connor, it didn't... I just didn't grok it, you know? I still don't."
"Not everything has to make sense, Sandra."
"Shay."
"It's Harper." Harper took a sniff of the flower. "Meh." She set it back down. "I want people to look at me and see more than the people I sleep with."
Shay raised an eyebrow.
"In the same building, that is? Ew! I mean, have you seen the dating options around here? I don't think Connor's such a shocking choice when you just open your eyes to what else is around here. Nothing. Nothing else."
"So... you're attracted to him, because he's the literal only option you feel like you have?" Shay assumed. "Rather than what there is about him personally?"
Harper frowned. "Are you trying to piss me off?"
She sighed. "No, I'm- I'm just trying to find Connor. Listen, I'm sorry if I'm being judgy. I try to treat everyone equally, so, sorry. If he's seeing you, then, well, that's proof we must've been wrong about you."
The preppie girl's icy exterior seemed to warm up some. "Well, don't apologize. I'm the prickly one. I know I'm really pretty, and wonderful, and frankly exceptional, but not everyone else knows that at first. Like I said, I don't know where Connor and that other one is, but I can drive around later and see if I see them out, okay?"
"You drive?" Shay questioned.
"My daddy lives in Bullworth town. When I'm a very good girl and do a single chore, such as putting my shoes up by the door, then I'm allowed a reward: whatever I want, which is usually his car. It's really quite tiring, the amount of work I put in to earn the car. Ugh."
Shay fought the urge to press her fingers against her temples and audibly groan. "Th-thank you, Harper."
"Yep!" She beamed from head to toe. As Shay stepped away to leave, Harper shouted out, "Tell him if you see him that I'm in need of a little attention! It's time for our first couple activity."
Outside the garden now, Shay gave into her urge, rubbing away and groaning with impatience. "Why, Connor?"
Outside the front gates leading into Bullworth Academy's entrance, a police car pulled up right in front of the sidewalk by the massive "BULLWORTH" archway atop the gates. Loitering nearby, bullies Duncan and Scott took off on skateboards in a panic. The police officer opened up their door, then the back doors to reveal Orion and Pete stepping out.
"There," grumbled the cop. "Now you two dick-beaters can be on your way."
"Come on, man, you're busting my balls over here," Orion complained.
The cop stepped around his car to open up his door. "Nope, you've done plenty of that to yourself, buddy."
Orion scoffed and shook his head as the cop drove off while Pete slouched, his cheeks burning.
"Who does that guy think he is? How bored must these Bullworth cops be?"
"Let's get outta here."
Pete and Orion headed through the opened front gates. As they stepped out onto the path leading to campus, Shay emerged from a crowd further up. When she spotted Pete, she headed over.
"Whoa, watch out, hot little thing 'a-comin'," Orion commented.
"Hey, Pete," she chirped.
"Shay," he greeted her.
Orion was taken aback, even motioning his whole body backward to sell the point. "Hang on. This is Shay?"
"Excuse me?" she wondered.
"Damn..."
"Can I help you?"
"This is Orion," Pete jumped in. "He's my greaser friend. We've been talking off and on for a bit."
He leaned down to shake the pastel goth's hand. "Orion. It's a pleasure. You have the coolest fucking outfit I've ever seen."
"Down, boy," Pete grumbled through his teeth, faking a smile.
"Thanks! Wow, a greaser friend. Yeah, I suppose we could use one of those," she mentioned. "No luck finding them?"
"Nah, we couldn't find them anywhere around Bullworth town."
Shay slouched and let out a worried moan at the same time of yet another newcomer approaching their little circle.
"We'll find them," Pete said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I promise."
She stared up at him with puppy dog eyes. "Thank you, Pete."
"Morning, fellas," Noah greeted them.
As Shay said hi to him and Orion introduced himself, Pete found himself staring at his hand with widened eyes.
I didn't even have to think about that-I just put my hand on her shoulder, and it- it made her happy. Wow...
"Is something up?" Noah wondered.
"Connor and Kanashii are missing," Shay explained through a sigh. "I don't mean to be such a worry-wart, but it's not like Nashii to go this long without checking in with me after something like dealing with the preps."
The bookworm nodded. "The preps, huh? Funny, it seems we've got a common enemy." He eyed Orion's outfit. "Judging by your leather jacket, I'm willing to guess you do too."
"Damn skippy, homie. What'd they do to you? Flaunt their overpriced-ass sweaters and it rubbed you the wrong way?"
"Worse. I'm having problems directly from Oliver Harrington," Noah replied grievously. "I'm class president, and while I've been able to do away with certain issues the school has had; for instance: no more spit in the stew from the inhumane lunch lady, the prefects can no longer make derogatory comments on your race, and you're no longer only allowed to check out three books at a time. Just to name a few."
"I hate to be the guy to say it, Noah, but those changes don't seem all that drastic," Pete murmured.
He frowned. "No, of course they're not." He sighed. "Slug's giving me the eensiest bit of leeway on what can be changed. These things are subtle; they're not groundbreaking, status quo-challengers. That much we can be certain of, but they're all I've been able to allow. God, who knew this position would be so much like real politics? Anyway, Pete, when we were gathered in the library with Dallas and JJ, preparing for the debate? I told you that Oliver was unlikely to care about the class president position."
"I'm surprised he cares about anything that isn't up his own ass already," Orion chuckled.
"I was wrong," Noah muttered. "Or, rather, maybe he didn't care then. Pete, I don't mean to panic, but my position is in jeopardy. I need your help again."
"Yeah, man, of course we'll help you," he responded. "Right, guys?"
Shay stared wistfully into the distance for a beat. "We've done what we can; Nashii and Connor will show up at some point. Okay, I'm in."
"I'm down," Orion added. "I'm bored as fuck, and I need something that'll keep me out of the auto zone; Xander's getting closer to wanting my dick for breakfast-in a combat kind of way."
"I pray you don't elaborate," Noah muttered. "The fact of the matter is, Oliver's trying to sway Headmaster Slug into letting him take my spot as class president."
"Why?" Shay wondered.
The egghead shrugged. "Perhaps he recalls the sort of power Evan Mattson had when he was rolling in the dough. Maybe Oliver wants to use his money for the same kind of power."
"But I thought they were content, all things considered," Pete remarked. "Why do this now?"
"Well, has anything stirred him up?"
After a pause, Pete and Shay slowly tilted their heads to exchange nervous glances.
"Maybe a, uh, little bit," Shay peeped. "Maybe."
"Unfortunately, I can't be around to help you guys," Noah informed them. "I've got an important meeting in ten." Next, the screech of the class bell rang out around the campus. "And you guys have class."
"Like we're going," Orion scoffed.
"Look, don't worry about it, man, we'll figure something out," Pete replied.
"Thanks, Pete. I'm counting on you guys."
With that, Noah headed back towards the central academy building, the heart of campus. Students walked around them as the trio thought about their predicament.
"Any ideas?" Pete asked.
"Whatever it is, it should probably be somewhere off campus pretty soon," Shay mentioned. "We don't want prefects tossing us in detention for skipping."
"If only we had some weed," Orion murmured, but didn't say anything else.
"Was there... was there more to that statement?" Pete wondered.
"Nope."
"Maybe we can find some way to get rid of Oliver's money?" she suggested. "Like the way Benji had Harold lock Evan out of his accounts."
"Someone as rich as the head prep probably wouldn't be stopped so easily," Pete argued.
"We could kick his ass," Orion chimed in.
Silence. Pete and Shay exchanged glances of uncertainty again.
"I could kick his ass?"
Silence.
"Nevermind."
Pete paced around, tapping his chin and anxiously ruminating. "Come on, come on... what would work? Hmm..." His eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. "I've got an idea."
With Pete and Shay standing by, Orion pushed the arm of a prep back with the student pinned against a wall somewhere else on campus.
"All right, chump, how does Oliver get his money?" Orion demanded.
"How should I know?" the prep whined.
"'Cause if you can't come up with something, imma gonna beat you back to the Stone Age! C'mon, already!"
Orion pushed his arm a little further, causing the prep to let out a caterwaul.
"All right, all right! Okay, uhm," the prep grunted, "Usually on Wednesdays, Oliver goes over to his dad's mansion to pick up a check!"
"What day is today?" Shay asked.
"Wednesday," Pete answered. "Does Oliver not have a bank account?"
"He did, but his dad closed it after he kept spending his dad's money! Ouch! My hamstring!"
"So, he only uses cash." Pete let his mind wander for a moment. "That tells me something..."
"Does it tell you I should beat this guy up?" Orion asked.
"Nah, you can let him go. I think I know what we can do now."
"You gonna be a good little boy for us when I let go of your arm?" he asked the prep.
"I shan't do anything wrong, I promise! Just let me go."
Orion released him, and the prep groaned and shook out the pain in his arm.
"Help! Prefect! Prefect! These delinquents were trying to hassle me! They need a thrashing!"
Lo and behold, a nearby prefect overheard, let out an angered, "What?" and glared. Within moments, he was charging at Pete and his friends.
"Uh oh."
"Bitch-ass, lying-ass rich boy," Orion scorned. "I ought to fuck you for that."
"Run!" Shay squeaked.
Donned in aquaberry garments against his wishes, Connor tensed, not only as a shiver coursed through him from the dropping temperature, but with utter unease. With Kanashii beside him and Roman leading the way several feet ahead, the trio walked through the winding roads that housed the rich residents of Bullworth's homes. The closer they got to Chandler's house, which Roman mentioned was coming up quite soon, the more tense Connor felt. He stared at the little picket fences on some of the more modest houses and the legitimate, steel fences on the mansions and felt his stomach twist.
"These places are so..." he grumbled. "Fake."
"Yeah, no kidding," Kanashii agreed, "I'll bet Mother Earth didn't make these herself."
"I used to hate these kinds of houses when I was a kid. I remember my mom, holding my hand... We would walk down a road, a bag of groceries from the local needy people's food pantry in my mom's arm, and there were all these fake, pristine houses on the way back to our shel- where we lived."
"Oh, yeah?"
"The rich folk used to come out and say all kinds of shit to my mom. Called her a skank, worthless-I even heard a kid call her 'street meat'. Fucking 'street meat', man. What the fuck?"
"That's pretty bad, dude," Kanashii murmured. "You must hate this then."
"Not exactly digging up the best memories. I think this is why I hate these fuckin' preps so much."
"You hate them?"
"Yes. No, not really. Fuck if I know. All I know is these stuck-up, spoiled kids drive me insane. Roman better not be about to stab us in the back. If he pulls anything, I'm pulling his arms out of their sockets."
"You probably would, too," Kanashii chuckled.
Despite his friend's chuckling, Connor's face was stone-cold serious.
"Sorry for laughing," he apologized awkwardly.
"Hey, this is it, boys," Roman spoke up.
"Jesus fucking-" Connor's mouth gaped. He and Kanashii stared at the estate with awe. It was four stories high with the length and width of at least two of the mansions Connor was familiar with. The yard was massive, with several garages, multiple gardens, ornaments, and lawn accessories; pottery and the like. Numerous windows lined the top, bottom, middle, and more of the building. Roman led them down the outer gate to the house, walking for quite a while until they got to an archway for cars to pass through. The closer they got, the easier it was to make out Bryce standing and waiting for them.
"This place is the size of Benji's ego, eh?" Kanashii joked.
"Roman," Bryce greeted him, opening up the tall gate.
"S'up, boyo?" he responded unenthusiastically.
"Chin up, chap. I haven't the foggiest why you look so glum; we're about to do something Chandler's had a long time coming."
Kanashii stepped forward to join them, followed by Connor, keeping his distance as he approached.
"I see you've brought Connor, and this chap."
"What's with the accent?" Connor interrupted. "Why do you talk like that? You English or something?"
"Ah, well, no. Truth be told, the accent is, ahem, on account of my alarmingly overwhelming insecurity. You'd do well not to address it again, Henson."
"Play nice, Bryce. I don't wanna have to get the other hand."
"Be cool, guys," Roman urged. "We're just here to ruin Chandler's day, right?"
Bryce forced a smile. "But of course. Follow me."
The quartet made their way through Chandler's botanical garden on the way to the front of the mansion. Standing in front of a luxurious gazebo with a sprawl of bushes around it stood more of the preps: Jayshawn, Dave, and Caden, the latter standing much taller than the rest.
"Aha," Caden opened up his arms as he strolled towards the group. "Roman. You've finally arrived." He reached in and dapped his friend up, Roman reciprocating with an uncertain glance at Connor. "And you've brought Connor. Excellent. Looking good, Henson. I didn't ask for your lackey, but, alas, he's already here. No sense turning him away now."
"Hey, lil' mama," Jayshawn jeered as he strutted right up into Kanashii's business.
Instinctively, Connor tugged Jayshawn back by the shoulder, then Caden intervened.
"Ah, ah, ah, calm it down, lads. There's no need to start up any mindless brutality; let at least fifteen minutes go by and then Connor might find himself craving for it."
Dave blatantly laughed while Connor glared.
"Why am I here?" he demanded.
Caden stepped aside to grab a few cartons of eggs stacked on top of each other. "We're here to give our friend Chandler a lesson in humility. When he reacts poorly, as we imagine he will, we'll be sending you in to rough him up a wink," he explained with a sway of his fist through the air.
"All... right..."
"Don't be nervous, Connor. Watch."
Caden set the stacks of egg cartons back down against the gazebo's fence. Gripping one in his palm, he aimed and tossed the egg right into one of the countless upper right windows of the mansion. The splat it created caused Dave to flinch.
"Ew, I was having fun until I saw it break," he complained.
"It's fun," Caden assured. "Dave's just being a silly-nanny. Care to have a go at it, Connor?"
The offbeat paused. Roman and Kanashii said nothing, and the preps watched him expectantly.
"This is a trap, isn't it?"
"Why would I feel the need to trap you? It implies a lack of self-confidence."
"Ah, well, maybe Bryce's behind this; he's fresh out of that."
"Grab the egg already," Bryce prompted. "Now."
Another pause later, and Connor stepped towards the carton of eggs. As each foot went in front of the other, he felt the same feeling of his stomach turning. It was like the trees and flowers in the yard were decaying, yet everything was just the same as it was.
"Go on," Caden instructed. "Don't be shy."
Connor froze. A rustling within the bushes in front of the gazebo and the eggs on its fence had him halting.
There was silence. All Connor could hear was his heart beating, a distant bird chirping, and the people around him breathing, Kanashii the most nervously. Connor shattered the silence by growling, tossing his arms against the cartons and rocketing them against Chandler, who had simultaneously lunged out of the bushes. Chandler barged against Connor, and both teens were splattered with eggs as the cartons and a monsoon of yolk fell to the finely-paved pavement below in front of Chandler's impeccable entry staircase.
"Gross!" Dave wailed.
"Would you shut up?" Jayshawn snapped.
Rising to his feet, Connor caught his breath and grabbed onto Chandler's sweater cuff, smacking a fist into his face, pounding him to the pavement with a single strike. The offbeat's chest was now caked in yolk, and he was seething with rage.
"I could hear your little chap breathing in the bush!" Connor growled.
"I was quite-" Chandler rasped.
"Shut up! Roman," he scorned.
"No, no, no, I didn't have any idea that was about to happen!" Roman protested.
"What was the point of this?" he yelled.
"As if we would ever turn on our own," Caden scoffed. "Us wealthy folk stick amongst each other; it's how we keep you bottomfeeders suckling our superior, patriarchal teet."
"There's nothing patriarchal about teets!" Kanashii butted in.
"You didn't tell me about any of this!" Roman yelled.
"Does that really surprise you, homie?" Jayshawn intervened. "We know you ain't one of us!"
"It's true, Roman," Caden agreed. "We think it's best you, erm, move cliques. Oliver's already made that clear to us."
"Good thing I was thinking the same thing," Roman jibed. "I'm tired of pretending you people are anything better than a bunch of circle-jerking, self-righteous assholes."
"Bravo, Caden!" shouted Benji. "What an expertly constructed little show you've put together." All eyes shifted over to the rolex-clad, green vest sporting mastermind approaching from one end of the mansion, swishing aside his bangs with one hand as he strutted his way over to the group with confidence like an Olympic athlete after gaining their gold. "By the way, Roman, you really shouldn't lie like a little bitch. You one hundred percent knew what was going to happen."
"Benji," he muttered.
"You," Connor growled.
"Great to see you again, Con. Did you get uglier? Impressive." Benji wandered over, stepping behind and past Jayshawn. "Sort of like how Petey managed to get even more adorably pathetic. 'Oh, Shay, oh! You're so beautiful, please, oh, please, let me sniff you! I'm so fucking desperate to feel a woman! I don't want the big boys to take turns using me anymore!'" Benji chuckled as he smacked his hand against Dave's shoulder a few times. "Gimme a fuckin' break."
"W-what are you talking about?" Kanashii urged. "What was that about Shay?"
"Fuck off, Captain Asia. You shouldn't even be here right now."
"So, you're behind this bullshit?" Connor assumed.
"I know you know I'm more intelligent than you, Connor, so I'm not surprised your ape brain came to the conclusion that this is my doing. But, nah, gotta give that one to my man, Caden Jones," he said, strutting over to dap the boxing champ up. "Nice work, my friend."
"It was really, truly nothing."
"Get out of here before I kick your ass, Benji," Roman threatened.
Benji feigned terror, throwing up his arms and pacing around once more. "Oh, really? You're gonna kick my ass, Roman? Like you ever could before." He chuckled again. "No wonder you're over here standing at Henson's side. Funny how you don't even know what he's said about you."
"Like you could ever get in my head before," he retorted.
"What are you, some kind of retard?" Benji scoffed. "I'm Professor X in this bitch. Hey, chaps, before I make this next point, I just want Connor and company to know that Bryce has the gate locked; there's no getting out of here for you freaks."
"What next point?" Connor demanded.
"'What next point'?" Benji mocked him, stepping closer to mutter, "Dur du-dur dur dur." Connor sailed a ferocious fist through the air, but Benji stepped back and fluidly paced aside in time. "It's like this guy's trapped in twenty questions. 'What next point?' 'What are you doing?' 'Doy, Benji, uh... how do I go pee-pee again?' So damn stupid, which is probably why he's been dishing so much dirt on you guys; guys that could damn well knock his teeth out."
"What do you mean?" Dave prompted. "He's been talking shit?"
"Oh, yeah," Benji nodded. "He's been telling everyone you're all a bunch of inbred apes. He says that Caden and Oliver get it on and think about Dave while they do it because they like twinks."
"They- what?"
"Oh, really?" Caden wondered.
"Let's not forget about Connor and Harper. Oof. That one jiminy's my crickets. How do you people feel that this walking ballsack is getting his skin flute played by your leader's rightful woman? What does it say about Connor-to think she's better off with him instead of the rest of you more compatible folks?"
"Really, Benji?" Connor scoffed. "Haven't you got anything better to do?"
"My whole life is something better to do. Constantly. One piece of the puzzle connected to the next. I am always working. Always. If I didn't have to sleep, I'd never do it a day in my fucking life. Fellas," Benji slung an arm around Jayshawn's shoulders as he addressed the preps, "I think Connor and his friends here need to be taught a lesson. He told me he's so tough that he could take every last one of you bitches with his legs broken."
"What the fuck?" Connor snapped.
"We could arrange the broken legs," Jayshawn threatened.
"What a preposterous claim, eh, lads?" Benji faked a gasp and stepped aside. "Now, now, hold on a second. You don't mean to tell me... You're not gonna let this little goon get away with that... are you?"
"Of course not," Caden replied with a grin forming. "Break this pauper's knees."
With that, Connor and his friends found themselves taking a few steps back as simultaneously, Caden stood with his arms behind his back as Dave, Jayshawn, and Bryce stepped forward with menacing intent, and Benji strolled away, whistling peacefully.
[1] - "What seems to be the officer, problem?" - Randy Marsh
[2] - Don't let this police officer fool you; "GaGaGaGa BWOOSH: Sexy Latinas Melting My Brain!" is an acclaimed literary work of nonfiction that deserves every bit of acclaim that it receives