NOT EDITED

Sorry it took awhile, but here's Chapter 7!

I find myself once more in the hearth of my home feeling lonely as unseeing eyes stare blankly at the TV. Its screen fades into a commercial, nothing more than white noise at this point. Today's the day of the full moon and as much as I wish to run free and wild in the safety of my own home, my mind tortures itself. Plaguing my thoughts over the conversation with Charlie, the extreme reaction over a kid I never met before, and the hollow void in my soul as I wonder how much better everything would be if I had my alpha with me.

Chief Swan, of course, has every right to bring up his concerns about my mental health and panic attack. Especially if I am to continue working as a fellow officer down at the station. I guess all this could have happened because I never gave myself time to stop, make a plan, and take action.

After the Mystic Falls fallout, I basically ran like a dog with my tail between my legs. Without a second thought, I dropped everything, packed my bags, and bullied my way into an academy across the states with the help of my local police department. Truth be told, I hate the cold, but what better way to stay hidden than to live in the least likely location.

Even after leaving all the hurt and drama behind, I just kept pushing and pushing. I never took a moment to breathe and relax. What should've been five years of training in the academy took me two. The earliest someone before I came around could graduate was four years.

Always forcing myself to keep up such a rigorous pace and routine. It wasn't until I completely moved into my home in Forks, that I was forced to slow down a bit and follow the town's own tempo. Not that it helped much as I began to busy myself with other tasks around the house.

As much as I wanted to stop thinking all together and just get back to the job, the Chief would deny me any work in a heartbeat. With a nauseating headache and shit I didn't want to think about, I finally got off the couch. Heading towards the back, I start getting ready for a night without human bullshit. Today is Tuesday, the 28th, the first full moon in quite a while.

Although the moon no longer pulls and forces the shift, it turned into somewhat of a tradition back in Mystic Falls. My sire and I would make a night of it, always meeting up on the nights of the full moon and just running wild. Somehow it always just felt natural to run alongside him, to hunt, and play fight with him. Klaus was more than a sire, he was my friend. No, he was my Alpha.

Looking up at the sky, the moon greets me like an old friend who has finally come home. I allow myself to let go and focus on my wolf. The transformation no longer phases me as it used to. I guess I have Tyler to thank for that. It's become as natural as breathing, even with my bones breaking and realigning themselves. In a blink of an eye, I am no longer Adrian Lockwood. I am Wolf.

The wolf searches and searches. It howls into the wind, calling for pack. Alone in a place unknown. He cries for his others. Nowhere to be seen. This night is a lonely one, but it is also a freeing one too. Gone is the stress of being human. Gone is the anxiety that brings panic. The wolf, although lonely, is finally free to run, jump, and hunt. Yet the wolf still howls as it mourns the loss of something, someone. The morning after, at sunrise, the wolf is no more and in his path walks the being before he became the beast.

Getting off the cool mossy terrain, I felt more settled and attuned with myself. A calmer interior soothes my body and soul as I head inside to clean myself up a bit. I laid out a change of clothes as I waited for the water to warm.

After last night, I no longer feel as if there is a war fighting deep within me. Far too long have I denied myself the sweet relief that comes with shifting at will. No matter how saddening it is to not run wild with my alpha, it is who I am. How could I have ignored a part of me, the half of me that helps me reset and soothe my mind.

With a better mindset, I could finally focus and work through the problems that arose since I moved here. Forks is definitely not my preferred location to live in, it's greener, rainier, but definitely warmer. The people of Forks are definitely better than back home. But I guess it's because of how ignorant the entire town is about the supernatural. I couldn't be more grateful for their lack of knowledge. I walk up and down the street without any stares of suspicion from paranoid towns folk who believe they know best. In regards to moving here, I made an alright choice. The weather could have been better, but I guess it's growing on me. Slowly, but surely.

As for working down at the station, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thinking back when I was younger, who didn't dream of growing up and becoming a police officer? Hell, even now it's still my dream. All I ever wanted was to help and make a difference. It didn't matter to me if it was big or small, as long as I knew I did that, I helped.

Although, father was "friends" with lots of our local precinct, he disliked the idea of my dreams. It's why I was pushed and pushed into politics, business, or ugh mathematics. I learn real fast never to bring up my hopes and dreams within the walls of the Lockwood manor. All it would bring was humiliation and pain. But I could never let go of the thought of joining the men and women dressed in blue. I could never have joined back then, but I am here now.

I am one of the blues.

Shutting off the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist as I dry my hair with another. Standing where my reflection should be, I swipe my arm across the steamed up mirror. Eyes as warm as the sky on a bright sunny day, shine with a determined resolve.

I couldn't do many of the things I wished to do back then, but it's different now. I am in control. I have no need to hide behind the carefully crafted masks made and placed on by others. I don't have to look over my shoulder as this police force isn't waiting for any signs to put a stake through my heart. I had nothing to fear, but fear itself.

Sorry for the long await. I honestly thought I posted this chapter yesterday (03.04.2024), only to find out I logged out with doing so. Well on the plus side, I wrote about 600 more words. If I had posted it like it was supposed to be, it would have been much shorter of a chapter.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Much love!